Fubar Blog Posts 2

Test For Silver Wheel
Theres a new train on Fubar!!! To join this witches train, rate the pics in the folder, starting with the link below. Once you have rated the pics, go to my blog titled Silver Wheel and R/F/A ALL members. If you have someone already added, rerate them if you haven’t and leave a comment on their page saying your joining the Silver Wheel Train. Once you have finished, send Natural_Witch or MysticFaerie a message that your done and Mystic will make you a tag with your nic on it. This is meant to be a fun ride for witches and friends of witches so NO DRAMA. THANK YOU SO MUCH AND HAVE A GREAT DAY!!! ~Natural_Witch~ *Owned by LarryB*Co-Owner of Club United*Steelers Mafia* No Fan No Add*@ fubar ~MysticFaerie~@ fubar

Test
=== 'Poisonflightledr ~ Fu owned by Mink ~Member confederate bombers family~' wrote the following at '2008-09-24 18:45:23'.. > > > > WELCOME TO FUBAR! > > > YOU ARE INVITED TO COME MAKE NEW FRIENDS AND ENJOY THE GREAT MUSIC AT THE DOO ROCK INN LOUNGE. > > THE BEST PLACE ON FUBAR TO GET SOME HELP, HAVE A DRINK AND MEET SOME FRIENDLY FACES. JUST CLICK THE " ON THE AIR" IMAGES BELOW TO GET STARTED. > > > DJ Broken Angel > > > > > > > > >

Test 2
=== 'Poisonflightledr ~ Fu owned by Mink ~Member confederate bombers family~' wrote the following at '2008-09-24 19:02:44'.. > > > > WELCOME TO FUBAR! > > > YOU ARE INVITED TO COME MAKE NEW FRIENDS AND ENJOY THE GREAT MUSIC AT THE DOO ROCK INN LOUNGE. > > THE BEST PLACE ON FUBAR TO GET SOME HELP, HAVE A DRINK AND MEET SOME FRIENDLY FACES. JUST CLICK THE " ON THE AIR" IMAGES BELOW TO GET STARTED. > > > DJ Brokenangel > > > > > > > > >

Test Tickles????
There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the > Tickle Me Elmo toys. > The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. > > Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she > reports for > her first day promptly at 8:00 AM > > The next day at 8:45 AM, there is a knock at the Personnel > Manager's door. > The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about > the new employee. > > He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line > is backing up, > putting the entire production line behind schedule. > > The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for > himself, > so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get > there the line > is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all > over the factory floor, > and they're really beginning to pile up. > > At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains > of > Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric > and a hugh > bag of small marbles.

Test
http://www.coolhunting.com/images/BOX05-Diana-asseating.jpg epic story, not for young readers The clock strikes midnight. As you stand there you look aboutthe room not know what this day holds for you,you hear the door lock behind you, The chimes ring off the hours. You know with the sound of the click of the locked door, you can not trun back now. You look around the room. You noticed a large bed on the far wall, the light coming in the large bay window from the moon lights it up, making it look almost holy. in the center of the room you see a fur, you think in might be bear, but it's huge. smell of cherry wood hits you and you look over to me, and see me starting a fire. You din't think it was cold in the room, but a fire might be nice. I walk to you carring a glass of red wine. As you take it, I move behind you and place my face in the back of your neck you can hear me breathing deep your sent. You feel my hand move around you as I unbutton your blouse. I whisper

The Test!
Brokeback Mountain self test 1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet. 2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay - it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat... "Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay. 3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on bar-b-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training to suck El Dicko and undeniably a f

Test
It's Gonna Be One Hell Of An Auction!! Come Join Us For Our First Ever Auction. All Lounge Members May Enter!! RULES 1.) First And Formost... Absolutely No Drama & No Disrespecting Entrants. 2.) Entry Fee Is $10k Fubucks Payable To The 7th Circle Of Hell Official Profile. This Fee Is Nonrefundable Should Entrant Decide To Withdraw Or If Entrant Is Pulled From Auction For Any Reason. 3.) Entrants Are Responsible For Fullfilling Whatever They Offer To Bidders For This Auction ~ 7th COH Is Not Responsible Should Entrant Not Fullfill Their Obligation. 4.) Bidders Are Responsible For Paying Whatever They Bid/Put Up To Receive The Offers The Entrant Has Expressed To Said Entrant ~ 7th COH Is Not Responsible Should Bidder Not Fullfill Their Obligation. 5.) Entrants Are To Us SFW Pics Only To Submit For Entry In Auction. 6.) Entrants Are Responsible For Promoting Their Own Entry. 7.) 7th COH Reserves The Right To Pull Any Entrant For Not Obiding By The Above Rules. 8.) Should H

Test
Ever Wanted Your Own Personal Fu-Slave ? Well here is your chance! I will be your Fu-Slave for 2 weeks. Here is how it works. You Bid On Me and The Highest Bidder Wins.Cash Bids Overide ANY Fubuck bids.If you are the winning bidder you will have 24 hrs to pay me.I then will become your Fu-Slave for 2 weeks. WAIT !!! You Havent even Read The Best Part. What do YOU get out of it ? 1 Pimpout Daily 50 11's Daily Random Gifts Random Stash Rates Random Profile Comments Slave to *your name* in my ID #1 Friend Spot *Note* You can give any of the above to a friend rather than yourself If you choose but you MUST PM me the day before providing me the links of who and what you want them to get. Now Unlike ANY Other Auction... IF YOU BID : A Cherrybomb Bling - You make the list of who I bomb.I will bomb my family first,then move on to your list starting at the top and going down until

Test Blog
***Dragonfairy*** Is Doing It again !! Only 1 day March 17th 12am-12am ♥Dragonfairy♥@ fubar Here's What you do... A/F/R Dragonfairy Rate all the pics in the contest folder Choose a pic you like while rating Comment the pic 50 times PM Dragon with the # of the pic you want Contest Folder Below..

A Test I Took On One Of My New Friend's Blog. Thought The Results Would Be Interersting.
Disorder | Rating Paranoid: Low Schizoid: Low Schizotypal: High Antisocial: Moderate Borderline: Moderate Histrionic: High Narcissistic: Moderate Avoidant: Very High Dependent: Very High Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv URL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/index.html

Test 1
> .... > > > > > Welcome to my Grand Opening of my Fu-Tavern. If you rate this album during a happy hour (there are only 62 pics) you will receive a special door prize. This is a fun album to rate. Come on in and sit down and enjoy! > > > > >

Test 1
We have our Auto 11's activated. Let our AUTO 11's "ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE" Come rate our pics with a 10 = (for both of us) 35 points for each rate, and 57 points during Happy Hours. Have fun rating and hope a lot of you level up Happy Hour 11's from VIP's will count 108 and not 54 LEVEL UP ON US.. MY FRIENDS Rate ALL our pics..WE DARE YOU!! Mr Dub-Loved by Milai@ fubar M!£ai™{KMA}♫ AXL's Partner in Crime♫ClubTABU@ fubar ScorpionsRock You Like A Hurricane Music Video Codes By

Testing Only
what i am willing to offer the highest bidder 1. fu owned in name for the month that person owns me rate all pics and staff during happy hour what i am willing to offer the highest bidder me personal graphics make them 1 nsfw cleavige salute click my pic above to place a bid on me

Test
You came into my fu-life unexpectedly, and everything took a turn for the better. Without even knowing it, you were slowly making a place for yourself in my heart. Your warm eyes, your laugh, the sincere way you speak, and the kindness you showed me, all became a part of my life... I know now that I had never known what it meant to be loved until I was loved by you.

Test Bully
COME JOIN THE DARKEST OF THE ACE CAFE DJ Lost In The Dark HE'LL SHOW YOU A ROCKIN GOOD TIME, YOUWILL NEVER KNOW WHAT HIT YOU AND WHAT YOU'RE GONNA GET WHEN YOU JOIN THE DARKEST DJ IN THE ACE CAFE. SO COME JOIN HIM AND SEE WHAT WONDERS HE CAN SHOW YOU THAT HIDE IN YOUR SOUL

Test2
> > > She has been here for two years now, and has well deserved to be Godmother. Please show her lots of love and lets all get her there!! She has lots of awesome stash and her graphics are amazing. Just because you have no vip status, or auto 11...doesn't mean you can't show it from your heart to give love to this wonderful lady. So, please, help me get her to Godmother! ≈♥≈ Pure Magick ≈♥≈ ~ Do Not Forget To Entertain Strangers@ fubar Brought to you by: ~♥~Windy~♥~Member of Stiletto Girls~@ fubar

The Test Results Are In.........ugh!!!!!
Dear Friends & Family, My MRI results are in and folks its gonna be a long road for me. The severity of my arthritis is worse than first thought. I have to start taking a slew of meds to control it. They have started me on Methotrexate 2.5mg (this is widely used in cancer patients) and I have to take 6 pills all at once, once a week. The side effects will be HORRIBLE!!! I could and probably will lose some of my hair, severe nausea, vomiting, stomach pain and dizziness or drowsiness, even anemia could occur. They have given me a RX for folic acid to help minimize some of these effects. Then they have put me on a daily steroid (Prednisone 5mg) to help with the swelling. They have also told me that my Vitamin D level is still dangerously low and they are increasing my dose of that as well. I have to go to the doctor once a month for blood work because of the possible damage to my liver from all these meds I'm on. If these meds don't diminish some of my pain and swelling, I h

Test The Best
The best of the west A towns shooting contest Sheriff the man in black Is evil and wrong and on the attack Left and right Killing people in broad daylight A competition with a set condition The chance at the sheriff someone else to fullfill the position People standing in line As early as a quarter to nine Every few moments bullets are flying People are crying and dying Sheriff is cutting them down one by one Final stand off has begun Who is this man that is still alive? People cheering and giving him a high five The sheriff is staring and glaring As the other man is slowly preparing 10 paces back, the big clock is keeping track Who is the one that will return and be back? In time the results will tell The next person who is going to hell Back to back 10 steps to go Both turning around quickly this is the main show Mysterious man fires first in a burst the sound is relavent The sheriff is bleeding from the chest to his knees he went Victory at once

Test Those Knockers
I am looking for night clubs that would be interested in hosting a breast cancer fund raiser for the World Motor Sports Breast Cancer Foundation. There is no cost to the club and we have some fun contest that the club can run to raise funds and create a good time for all. EVERY MONTH IS PINK so help save a life by hosting a "KNOCKERS PIT STOP" party We need your support and help. Let me know what you think or if you have any ideas. www.worldmotorsportsbcf.org/ Remember every 13 minutes a person with breast cancer dies. This is something that does not have to happen.

Test Ed
Today I know it seems like i am doing nothing but BMC. Now that the day is over I sit and think it was a day to be tested. It is kind of funny the little things that happened. I have to say i am happy that i was able to handle these things in a way better then i normally would. Lets see... after i got denied from unemployment at 8:30 this morning I figured that was it for the day... OHHH NO a higher power had plans to test me a little bit more today. So, after venting here and distracting myself on line from the bad news i chose to do laundry. sounds ok right? well. there was no laundry soap. You would think with 4 other adults in the house 1 would say there is no more soap or even get some. Nope... so i got s little stressed out. Then after talking to Brendan for a bit i went to take a shower.... OH another bad move... the freaking shower head busted while i was in there and water was going EVERYWHERE!!! well, i didnt know then that behind the shower head if a small space and s

Test
=== '~~~FU~DADDY™~~~R/L BF OF FU-M@M@~OWNER/OWNED BY LYNNE~SOUTHERN SEX SYMBOL~' wrote the following at '2008-12-08 12:49:42'.. Fubux Rates Are As Follows: 5000 for every 100 10 turned 11 50K for every 100 REAL 11's 3k for every 100 stash rates 250K for ALL 2500 pics These rates apply for the duration of the A-11, HH or Not. Psst.....Looking to work out a rate/bux for A-11 trade....Hit my PM...Thanx...Daddy

The Test Of True Friends...
I now know, that the test that is used to determine true friendship is the one where your life is going to hell in a hand basket and you could probly use someone to be empathetic and at least play like they care.... but as nature would have it one of two things happens: 1. everyone hits the road because they don't need, want nor care to be a part of your life as long as you are no longer the life of the party or 2. They are completely unaware of like what reality outside their own cushy life is and they choose to lecture you about how you "need to have a positive attitude about {enter extreme end of the world crisis here} because that's what they would do if said crisis happened to the (although it's not happening to them at the moment they are giving their advice) and then they leave because their feelings got hurt that you didnt appreciate their judgment and suggestions. (UGH!!!) These people (whom number in the over 100 and climbing) are the most insensitive, asinine worthless

Test
Shes Sexy, Shes Beautiful, Shes the Lovely Mistletoe Mommy. And quite Possably the sweetest person on all of Fubar!! make sure yall go show her lots and lots of love!!!! Click the pic to see her now!! This Buliten Brought to you by •°o.O ÐJ ßûßßª O.o°•~Fu Fiance to Jinxie~ OTB~TBR ~@ fubar

Test
Welcome to a Jessa Train.. This is a list of a few pplz That I love very much.So go Rate Add And Fan Them,.Hell bling em if you Really want Venom Hydaway's General Manager@ fubar Bane Co-Owner of Hydaway@ fubar Bri Bri Head Of Promotions Hydaway@ fubar Kben Head DJ @ Hydaway@ fubar

Testicles
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. 'Nurse', he mumbles, from behind the mask. 'Are my testicles black?' Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, 'I don't know, Sir, I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet.' He struggles to ask again, 'Nurse, please check. Are my testicles black?' Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other. Then, she takes a close look and says, 'There's nothing wrong with them, Sir!' The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, 'Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very closely.. A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k'?

Test
Psychopath Test Read this question, come up with an answer and then scroll down to the bottom for the result. This is not a trick question. It is as it reads. Not to many people I know have gotten it right. While at the funeral of her own mother, a woman met a man who she did not know. She thought he was 'amazing'. She believed him to be her dream partner so much that she fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him. A few days later she killed her sister. Question: What was her motive for killing her sister? Give this some thought before you look at the answer below. She was hoping the guy would appear again at her sister's funeral. If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath. This was a test developed by a famous American psychologist, used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question correct

Test
MEET [[PER]]A TRULY AMAZING WOMAN, AND GREAT FRIEND. AND THAT IS NOT IT, SHE IS ALSO MY NEW OWNER! FOR THE NEXT 30 DAYS, I AM HER SLAVE! SO WITH THAT COMES THE RESPONSIBILITY OF HAVING TO SHARE HER WITH THE WHOLE WORLD, SO .. HERE IT GOES!! CLICK THIS LINK HERE! [[Per]]™@ fubar YOU WILL FOLLOW DIRECTIONS AND GO LOVE THIS WOMAN TONS. SHE DESERVES EVERY LAST RATE, PERV, BLING, CRUSH AND ALL THAT OTHER STUFF!! BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE ONE AND ONLY: Drunk1™ --Fu Own'd By [[Per]]@ fubar FINE PRINT: When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.

A Test To See Who Likes You And Who Just Thinks You're A Statistic...
Here is an irrefutable argument to find out who genuinely likes you in the Lounges and who just thinks you're another statistic for their lounge… If you’re like me and just prefer to visit lounges rather than join them, this may be your situation too… you've been going into a certain lounge as a visitor for a while but not showing any inclination of actually joining - you just go in and chat to the regulars. After so long (when they realise) they seem to ask you to subscribe to their lounge. They usually say something like "We'd love to have you as part of our family" and they sometimes even post the link for you... If that sounds like the situation you're normally in, just say to them "can't I just continue to be a visitor seeing as it makes no difference regarding my visiting of the lounge anyway?" and take not of what happens! If they ban or eject you for it or try to argue with you about subscribing you then have your answer! You know that they don't actually thi

Tested By Fire
Am I to be tested by fire? Tempered, as steel, to forge the keener blade Can I possibly survive? Emerge from the flame Purified Purged Is such searing necessary? Must all that I am (or thought I was) Be melted to the core And poured out Liquefied Molten Am I to be totally recast? Refashioned at the anvil by heavy handed blows So unyielding that I require This violent a process Hammered Pounded I would choose a milder makeover The gentler touch Of potter to the clay The subtle training Of gardener to the vine Is the smithy to be my only master? If this is the form of refashioning I truly require Then I shall try to endure Hopefully Gratefully Shall I be made more worthy? I ask only that the process leave me bettered By whatever bellows and blows Keener blade Finer mettle Stronger Truer Brighter Tested by the Fire

Test
imikimi - Customize Your World! TEXAS TWISTER HAS A HAPPY HOUR TODAY! GO SHOW HER HOW WE SHOW LUV TO A GREAT PERSON WHO IS ALWAYS THERE TO LEND A HELPING HAND! LEVEL UP ON AUTO~11'S!! SHE'S THE BEST OWNER I'VE EVER HAD!! SHE'S ALSO ONE OF THE NICEST PEOPLE YOU WILL MEET ON FUBAR!

A Test To Take To See If Im Gay
Join the World's Largest SEX and SWINGER Personals Community. Join for FREE. How do i know if im gay? - Get Answers to your Questions Free, from People Who Know. ... Smell is considered a true test. Do you prefer the smell of a man over .... Is it possible to

Test Of Fate
Test of fate Listen 2 my words, for they come from the heart. I will never give up on you, I have loved you from the start. We have over come so many trials, & it has been a test of fate. I know exactly where i belong, & its with you my soul mate. God has separated us now, but only 4 a while. Until we conquer this one last test & trial. We truly belong together, & this I am sure. We have had so many ups & downs that only our love could endure. I love you so much sweet heart. & I offer you my life. One day we will reunite, as we become husband & wife. Our souls have intertwined to become as one, & we will be together when all is said & done. So my love keep these words right next 2 your heart. For if you truly believe in us, we will never be apart. Close your eyes & in vision the biggest brightest star, & know in your heart I will always love you, Even from a far... *Drew aka LostSoul

Test For Dementia
Test for dementia Test for Dementia Below are four (4 ) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately . OK? Let's find out just how clever you really are.... First Question: You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in? Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second! Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK ? Second Question: If you overtake the last person, then you are...? Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person? You're not very good at this, are you? Third Question: Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only . Do NOT u

Test Results...pea Brain + Big Hands =
So I got some results from the doctor yesterday as I reported in my first idiotic blog about this yesterday. I was thankful to learn that I have no cancer, tumors or strange little objects hanging out in my brain. They also report that my brain is smaller than it should be for a man my size. This of course leads me to believe that other body parts are BIGGER than they should be which is just the attitude a man loves to have. He said they are unable to find the cause of my condition though and have ruled out inner ear. I asked what a smaller size brain means and he said they see that in some conditions like Ahlziemers and other neurological condition...BUT...he is pretty sure that is not an issue for me ( he called last night to say he did not mean to scare me yesterday when mentioning this and that he had reviewed my family history and does not appear to be an issue...whew......so they are unclear as to what is going on as of now. But I seem to be improving. And I now know I have

The Test Says Im A Gangtsa
You have what it takes to make your own path, too. You've been a part of something WAY bigger than just yourself. Be it your local set, crew or chapter... Crips, Bloods, Folks, Hells Angels, Golden Geese, HWU, Latin Kings, etc,. and so on down the line.You're not afraid of the game, infact, you knew that to join, you must be willing to die. You know how the game is REALLY played. People don't fuck with you. RESPECT. Keep it real! Ain't too many of us out there...

Test For Auction
AUCTION AUCTION!! THE LOUNGE SOLDIER'S CREED IS HAVING A AUCTION AND HAVE MANY PEOPLE UP FOR AUCTION FOR ANYONE TO BUY! THIS IS JUST ONE PERSON THAT IS IN THE AUCTION, NURSE MADONNA WHO IS THE OWNER IN THE LOUNGE IT IS A COMMENT AUCTION. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS COMMENT ON THE PERSON'S PICTURE THAT YOU WANT TO OWN. THERE IS A CONVERSION CHART AND ALSO A RULES PICTURE. THERE ARE A TOTAL OF 23 PEOPLE IN THIS AUCTION. YOU WOULD BE SURE TO FIND SOMEONE YOU WANT TO OWN.

Test
Club Oasis now has live cams! Come check us out and Join while you're there. Buy a round of drinks and party with us. Brought to you by Club Oasis ~ where the rocking never stops. Hiring staff and Dj's if you think you what it takes come hit us up!

Test
I are having a contest:Below is what it is all about !! Auction with prizes being held on Monday June 15th All pictures for auction need to be in no later than June 13th at midnight Prizes included are the three top highest bids at end of auction will be: 1st prize-Your choice of one month V.I.P or 7 day blast and 25 credit blingpack 2nd prize-3 day blast with a 10 credit bling pack 3rd prize 1 day blast with a 10 credit bling pack Please make these pictures unique to get the highest bid for you. This is a HOW SEXY ARE YOU CONTEST.What do you consider being sexy.It could be a look,A kiss or any part of your body as long as it has your face in it being all that you can be.Show me what you feel is sexy. You will need to send the pictures to Paul aka Fu-Tru Legend here is his link... ♫ Fu True Legend BadBoy DJ,Anger OWNER OF West Coast RawkerInk♫ Club Oasis @ fubar I and Paul will be holding this together and it will be an auction,so come get you some.Don't fo

Testing Something Out
Hi folks, There is something I want to do and first I wanted to try out a few things to see if I could get it looking the way I want. So, to be honest, this blog isn't going to be that informative, but it will help me with future blogs. Here is a test picture I want to share If that came out right, there should be a coral colored tea rose picture here. Well, we will see, won't we ;-) Here is hoping that everyone is having a great day @};- Paul

Test
TestRead this question, come up with an answer and then scroll down to the bottom for the result. This is not a trick question. It is as it reads. No one I know has got it right.. While at the funeral of her own mother, a woman met a man who she did not know. She thought he was 'amazing'. She believed him to be her dream partner so much that she fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him. A few days later she killed her sister.Question: What was her motive for killing her sister?Give this some thought before you answer, see answer below.. Answer:She was hoping the guy would appear again at her sister's funeral. If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath.This was a test developed by a famous American psychologist, used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question correctly... If you didn't answer the question correctly, good for y

Test Results
The Hot Friend 36% Sexy-Cute, 49% Dark-Light, 52% Artsy-Stylish Sexy, neither Dark nor Light, and neither Artsy nor Stylish, she's just the Hot Friend. You know you've got one of these. Great face, great uh... assets. This is the type of girl who is fawned on by guys constantly, never realizes it, and finally marries some jackass who's just like you... but damn it, it's not you! 8| Damn I'm screwed!!!

Testriffic
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"Harry: "9."Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"Harry: "36."And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade"Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask hi

Testimony
WELL FUBIES, (hopefully you can read this , and I did not use spellcheck either as long as you get it... thats the point ;) ♥ITS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I BLOGGED...BUT WANTED TO SAY HOW BLESSED I AM TO BE HERE. MY WONDERFUL CAR PAID IN FULL DECIDED TO SHUT DOWN ON ME (the FUEL PUMP) WHILE ENROUTE TO BIBLE STUDY, EVERYDAY I TRAVEL AT LEAST 27 MILES TO WORK ON A MAJOR HIGHWAY, FILLED WITH ACCIDENTS DAILY UGH....♥ ♥TODAY AFTER WORK I HEADED HOME TO PICK UP MY MOM TO GO TO BIBLE STUDY , WE ARE DRIVING OUT OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD AND RIGHT BEFORE WE HEAD OUT ON THE MAJOR HIGHWAY THE CAR JUST STOPS...OH LORD HAVE MERCY I YELLED WE STOPPED DEAD IN THE ROAD, NO CAR DIRECTLY BEHIND US OR INSIGHT , I IMMEDIATELY WORRY ABOUT MY MOM BECAUSE SHE HAS CONGESTIVE HEART FAILURE , BUT HAS BEEN A SURVIVOR FOR 10 YEARS NOW THAT IS A BLESSING WITHIN ITSELF. WE STILL HAVE TO GO TO THE DOCTORS A MAJORITY OF THE TIME, BUT ITS TO MAKE SURE EVERY THING IS COOL WITH HER COUMADIN LEVELS (tha

The Test
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists ... two men and a woman.For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun."We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside of this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!"The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job."The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room.Shots were heard, one shot after a

Test Crash
As the test pilot climbed out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrived. A rescuer saw the bloodied pilot and asked, "What happened?" The pilot replied, "I don't know, I just got here myself!"

Tests
I'm writing this and then running out of here....have to take my mom in for some testing today. She either has a ulcer, mass, or obstruction in her esophagus. So let's pray/send good energy that its nothing serious! I will update when I get back! Love you guys! Those that can text me feel free to!

Test...is Right! Bam Bam Pish.
Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||||||||| 50% Stability |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Orderliness || 10% Accommodation |||| 16% Intellectual |||||||||||||||||| 80% Interdependence |||||||||||| 50% Mystical |||||| 30% Materialism |||||||||||||||||| 80% Narcissism |||||| 30% Adventurousness |||||||||||||||||| 80% Work ethic || 10% Conflictseeking |||||||||||| 50% Need to dominate || 10% Romantic || 10%

Test(icle?) Studies
I've begun studying for the bar exam, by which I mean, I've begun procrastinating about studying for the bar exam. The last time I was studying for a bar exam, it was summertime, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself reading french erotica and sunbathing in my yard, surrounded by plenty of cigarettes and booze. Oh, and I blogged about diddling and rainstorms, and I chatted endlessly with endless numbers of virtual friends, and I smoked, and drank, and took nudie photos, and, well, really had a lovely time. A few weeks before the exam I realized that my "bar study" didn't really follow any of the helpful and instructive "bar study models" I'd been given, so I crammed a bit, wept a little, and hoped for the best. (As I went on smoking and drinking and taking nudie photos and chatting with all of you about how I really ought to be studying.) I took the exam and then worried for three months about the wisdom of not studying for the 'professional responsibility' section of the exam and i

Test
Don't cheat! Before you read on, choose your favorite marshmallow bit from Lucky Charms from the list below:Pink heartsYellow moonsOrange starsGreen cloversBlue diamondsPurple horseshoesThose icky oat bitsOkay. Have you got one in mind? Now you can read on. And don't change it!An amazing new study shows that your favorite Lucky Charms marshmallow bit shape determines what you're like in bed!Yes, it's true--just take this simple test to determine your true bedroom personality:GREEN CLOVERS: If your favorite Lucky Charms marshmallow shape is the green clover, you're a happy-go-lucky type in bed. You don't take anything too seriously in the bedroom or elsewhere and always manage to have a good time, even if you have someone else with you. You don't have any patience with depressed people and tend to sit on them until they cheer up.BLUE DIAMONDS: If your favorite marshmallow shape is the blue diamond, your thoughts in bed are mostly about what you'll get later. "If he really enjoys this, w

Test Vid
How to Get Help on Fubar! (Follow the steps below)1. The fubar bible is our FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions). Click Here to Enter the fubar Bible!2. Chat Now with our volunteer 24-hour Support team in the Fubar Support Lounge. Don't be shy. The dumbest question is the one that is not asked.

Test Vid2
How to Get Help on Fubar! (Follow the steps below)1. The fubar bible is our FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions). Click Here to Enter the fubar Bible! 2. Chat Now with our volunteer 24-hour Support team in the Fubar Support Lounge. Don't be shy. The dumbest question is the one that is not asked. Click Here to Enter the Fubar Support Lounge! 3. If you are not getting the help you need, you can try chatting a bouncer directly. Click on the HELP link on the top right. Look for the Meet Your Bouncers banner on the right side of the page. Find a bouncer who is online and Click on the Chat Me link and ask your question. Please be respectful to our bouncer team (Orange Names). They are here to help you and your patience and respect will only help get your problem get resolved more efficiently.4. If you are having a payment issue. Please send a message with a copy of your transaction receipts to www.fubar.com/scrapper. If you are using a debit/pre-paid credit card, please read this, "Pending De

Test
Sit comfortably and be calm. This is a serious test, not a joke.. Put your thinking process aside - i.e. put your brain in neutral gear. 1- Find the C below. Do not use any cursor help. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO COOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Test Bullly
CLICK HERE TO ENTER^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ITS TIME TO JOIN US AT BIG SKY COUNTRY FOR SOME KICK ASS FUN AND ROCKING SEXY DJ"S We are now hiring for all positions...Greeters..Bartenders..Enforcers..Promoters....so come see what we have to offer!!! JUST CLICK ON THE PIC AND YOU ARE IN THERE HAVING A ROCKING GOOD TIME

Test
ENTP - The Inventor You scored 64% I to E, 26% N to S, 62% F to T, and 79% J to P! The single word that describes your type is "inventor", and you belong to the larger group called rationals. You love to tinker with things and come up with new ideas. You are outgoing and curious with an insatiable appetite for knowledge. You have no real desire to lead, only doing so if there is no other way. 2% of the population share your personality type.You are a flirtateous and energetic romantic partner, fun and engaging, always looking for something unusual to try. In your enthusiam, you may make promises you can't keep. Your competitive nature and need to be perceived as an expert can be daunting to a romantic partner at times. You so enjoy the tug of a good debate that sometimes you act as if you don't take anything seriously. You are usually very supportive and helpful to your mate, but somewhat scattered and unable to devote your full attention there. You feel most appreciated for your g

Test2
Your result for The Intellectual Sexiness Test ... Intellectual Inferno You have an intellectual sexiness factor of 83! Who am I to give you advice? You already know everything you need to know, and if there's something you don't know, you're eager to check it out. You are among the few special minds in the world that are truly free, totally creative, and absolutely sexy. The downside is, it's hard to find partners who can keep up with your quick, vigorously sexy mind. You often find yourself bored with anything less than exciting sex, and only those who equal your intellect, your openess, and your creativity can provide that excitment. You're an avid reader, a deep thinking, and a sexually liberated person. You enjoy learning for its own sake just as much as you enjoy sex for pleasure's own sake. Your partner, if he or she is able to keep up with you, is extremely lucky to have you. link to test: http://www.okcupid.com/tests/the-intellectual-sexiness-test

Test4pass Microsoft 70-536 Exam Braindumps In Pdf For Share
Test4pass Microsoft 70-536 Exam braindumps in PDF for share Test4pass 70-536 Certification Exam There are many online resources for preparing for the 70-536 exam - Test4pass.com. Read below to discover why Test4pass.com is your premier source for practice tests, and true testing environment. You reasons for selecting the leader in online certification preparation - Test4pass.com. 70-536 Downloadable, Printable Exams (in PDF format):We are all well aware that a major problem in the IT industry is that there is a lack of quality study materials. Our 70-536 Preparation Exam Material provides you everything you will need to take a certification examination. Details are researched and produced by Certification Experts who are constantly using industry experience to produce precise, logical and verified explanations for the answers. You may get questions from different web sites or books, but logic is the key. Microsoft 70-536 Exam Preparation from Test4pass.com include: Comprehensive

A Test Entry
Generated feed for "http://stackoverflow.com/questions" from http://stackoverflow.com/questions Google feed by Google 8 answers. 114 views. What are the most common causes of errors in javascript and how to fix them? This is kind of a subjective question, but... 1. vote. 4 answers. 50 views. Convert VB to C#. I need a little help converting some VB.NET code to C#. I have tried... 19 views. Best way to iterate through a directory in java? hi all I'm new to java and searching for code relating to getting a list of all...

Testing This Out...
Why hello there, I am fairly new to this site, not new to blogging though... So let's see how this goes. I'm working right now, really I complain like hell about my job [warning you now] but hey... I have so much time to fuck around I should appreciate it far more than I currently do. On the prior to sitting in an office watching my ass grow, I used to run around in an art and frame shop constantly moving. Constantly burning the calories, interacting with people, and actually having non-computer based fun. So in order for me not to not to carve my brain with pens, pencils and scissors while at work... I explore the internet and it's numerous wonders. Thank goodness for Work Safe Mode :D

Testing 1 2 3
July 23, 2010 9:21am more To xX Murderf...: no, i'm sorry I can do that. cancel Chat 9:21am more To BIGBEN1979: I'd rather not, but thank you for asking. cancel Chat 9:23am reply xX Murderf...: I just thought you were testing yesterday, since the status was "testing" haha! cancel Chat 9:23am

Test
HOW TO UNLINK FUBAR AND FACEBOOKSTEP 1OK THE FRIST THING YOU DO IS OPEN YOUR FACE BOOK THEN IN THE RIGHT CONER CLICK Account STEP 2OK NOW OK NOW YOU WANT TO CLICK ON Application Settings STEP 3NOW FOUND THE FUBAR ICON AND CLICK THE X THEN IN THE BOX CLICK REMOVE AND YOU ARE DONE

The Test Of A Man Is Not In His Arm Its Beating Himself Mentally Because 90 % Of Battles Are Mental. The Other 10% Is Physical
as much as i would like to be a world famous body builder and have the perfect body i find that the real test of a man is one that can use his mind to get things done. but a strong handsome body goes well with it too. So the phrase the real test of a man is not in his arm its in his head. beat the mind then you can acheive greatness from the physical to mental.

Test.
Hi, I'm a paragraph. I am composed [gigglesnort] of words that create a group of related sentences. Without html, I still look like a paragraph. Hi, I'm a second paragraph. Thanks to that nice little thing inserted (twice, in these entries) in between the first paragraph and I, you can tell I'm number two. Love the double entry. It defines paragraphs like me. Without it, I'd still be part of the first. Yay, youtube embeds for all! giant ghey hearts for all tooooo ♥ This box is awwwwwkwaaaard. There's your youtube video. Big babies.

Testing 2
Come check out the hottest new lounge on FU! The place may be new, but the dawgz in it sure as heck aint no green horns! If you're looking for a new place to call home, you've found it...We're looking to hire for all positions! Click on any picture to enter Da Swamp Yard NOW!!!

Testing 3
Come check out the hottest new lounge on FU! The place may be new, but the dawgz in it sure as heck aint no green horns! If you're looking for a new place to call home, you've found it...We're looking to hire for all positions! Click on any picture to enter Da Swamp Yard NOW!!!

Testing 4
Come check out the hottest new lounge on FU! The place may be new, but the dawgz in it sure as heck aint no green horns! If you're looking for a new place to call home, you've found it...We're looking to hire for all positions! Click on any picture to enter Da Swamp Yard NOW!!!

Testicular Cancer Is An Issue That Will Probably Scare The S*** Out Of A Lot Of Men, And Nobody Wants To Even Think About It.
Becky Leuallen http://fragbows.blogspot.com/2010_12_01_archive.html Wednesday, December 22, 2010 Basic Information Testicular cancer is an issue that will probably scare the s*** out of a lot of men, and NOBODY wants to even THINK about it. A friend sent me the rushes of a new HOT campaign that's hitting shivering Britain this Christmas. Fragmented Rainbows: December 2010 fragbows.blogspot.com There's never a rainbow unless there's rain. And sunshine. Life's like that. rain and sunshine. Highs and lows. Bitter-sweet and sweet-sour. Varied experiences that all add up to a celebration of being alive. A look at life ... existence... art... music... fragmented rainbows !!! DO LEAVE A COMMENT... Like · Dislike · · Share · 2 minutes ago

Test Players Set Up Dec 1 2011
THREE players set up under different circumstances to see how the newest changes to fu mafia affects newer players. 1 to be put in a turf in soldier/pay position 2 to be put in a turf Not in a pay position 3 to be unturfed

Testing The Emergency Blog System
Last night I took one of my more nostalgic pipes, a large pot with a wide open draw, opened an old tin of Escudo, a round disk shaped tobacco with a black center, and eased into the comfort of the slow draw and the lazy smoke encircling my head. Two days ago I took a rare couple of Xanax during the day, actually using them for anxiety. Christmas 2012 might be marked by things other than Peace on Earth, Good Will, the economy hanging by a thread on how many presents are under trees, Jesus’s birthday, fat jolly geriatrics in a convertible rig pulled by Norwegian deer. It might be marked by the complete unraveling of this old dawg. I have medical charts out in the wind and a singular lack of phone calls telling me to come on in on such a such date. Sunny seems to have disappeared; I can’t get divorced without her. I haven’t been able to feel the two most driver side fingers or the palm beneath them in my driver’s side paw for over two months now, maybe thre

Êtes-vous Un Fan De Football Die-hard?
Êtes-vous un fan de football die-hard? Si c'est le cas, il ya un nouveau site net de la marque qui a été créée uniquement pour vous.maillots football, f8tballNEWS.com est rapidement en train de devenir un parmi essentiellement les la plupart des endroits bien connus en ligne pour les supporters de football de tous partout dans le monde entier. Quel que soit l'équipe de football est votre favori, ce site de nouvelles de football a les dernières informations, les ragots et les rumeurs de transfert de monde. Si vous êtes sérieux au sujet de la réalisation des dernières occasions à travers le monde entier de football, puis cet échange de bookmarking d'information football assez sera l'endroit pour vous personnellement à go.As opposés à des sites Web standards, f8tballNEWS ne seront pas simplement vous fournir des informations de football répétitif intérieur un format inintéressant. Comme une alternative ce site spécial de nouvelles de football peut être un site world wide

Tetanus Shot
The old man struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat. His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, "Where are you going?" He replies, "I'm going to the doctor." She says, "Why, are you sick?" He says, "Nope, I'm going to get me some of that Viagra stuff." Immediately the wife starts working and positioning herself to get out of her rocker then begins to put on her coat. He says, "Where the hell are you going"? She answers, "I'm going to the doctor, too." He says, "Why, what do you need?" She says, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing, I'm getting a tetanus shot.

Tetanus Shot:
An old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat. His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, "Where are you going?" He replies, "I'm going to the doctor." She says, "Why, are you sick?" He says, "Nope, I'm going to get me some of that Viagra stuff." Immediately the wife starts working and positioning herself to get out of her rocker and begins to put on her coat. He says, "Where the hell are you going"? She answers, "I'm going to the doctor, too." He says, "Why, what do you need?" She says, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing, I'm getting a tetanus shot."

Tetanus Shot !!!
An old man in his seventies struggles to get up from the coach, then starts putting on his coat. His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, 'Where are you going?' He replies, 'I'm going to the doctor. ' She says, 'Why, are you sick?' He says, 'Nope, I'm going to get me some of that Viagra stuff. ' Immediately the wife starts working and positioning herself to get out of her rocker and begins to put on her coat. He says, 'Where the heck are you going'? She answers, 'I'm going to the doctor, too. ' He says, 'Why, what do you need?' She says, 'If you're going to start using that rusty old thing, I'm getting a Tetanus shot !!!

Tetanus Shot (funny)
An old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat. His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, Where are you going?'< /o:p> He replies, 'I'm going to the doctor.' She says, 'Why, are you sick?' He says, 'Nope, I'm going to get me some of that Viagra stuff.' Immediately the wife starts working and positioning herself to get out of her rocker and begins to put on her coat. He says, 'Where the heck are you going'? She answers, 'I'm going to the doctor, too.' He says, 'Why, what do you need?' She says, 'If you're going to start using that rusty old thing, I'm getting a Tetanus shot.' & nbsp;

Tetris Is Very Sexual Game.
The other night I thought I turned into a Tetris piece. I floated around my room singing analogously and changing shapes and wondering what I would say to other Tetrii if they knocked on my door. Then I fantasized about sticking myself into another group of Tetris pieces and it it occured to me the sexual nature of the game. It was a big enlightening moment at the time. In the Tetris world, the fatter the girl, the more satisfying the sex would be. But it wouldn't really be that satisfying because you can only stick it in once, ever. Then you explode. Imagine if you could never go backwards in life. You'd just walk down the sidewalk and keep walking forwards. You can move left and right, but never back. And if you happen to come across a hot girl, you could stick it in her once and that's it. Imagine this - what if we are Tetris pieces in a game programmed by four dimensional creatures? And they're allowed to go backwards in TIME, but we're not. Wouldn't sex be great if you

Tetris Inoculation Against Ptsd Flashbacks
Imagine an inoculation that a soldier could take within an hour or two of witnessing a particularly traumatic wartime event. If there was a drug to prevent flashbacks from occurring later on, most soldiers would probably take it. Call it an Anti-PTSD drug. But what if that drug wasn’t a drug at all, but a simple computer game you could equip every military unit with on the front lines? Yes, researchers who did an analogue study on 40 undergraduates suggest that the old computer game Tetris can actually help prevent future post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) flashbacks. Here’s their theory: Our theory is based on two key findings: 1) Cognitive science suggests that the brain has selective resources with limited capacity; 2) The neurobiology of memory suggests a 6-hr window to disrupt memory consolidation. The rationale for a ‘cognitive vaccine’ approach is as follows: Trauma flashbacks are sensory-perceptual, visuo-spatial mental images. Visuo-spatial c

Tetris Effect.
Acid baked cloudsblistering sundrops through toxic canopy.That delicate, silky ash you know was someone's homesomeone's heartsmeared on every naked patch of skinWhat skin is left burns.What throat is left thirsts, clenches in panic.Poison.Shelter.Fallout.Can't pass.Can't sink through this floor.Warmand still smolderingcradled in the pile of holocausthallowed causehollowfor all the cost.I'd call this hell if it wasn't yesterday.

Tetwp
TETWP TETWP = Tough Enough To Wear Pink. Started by the Professional Bull Riders Association to raise money for Breast Cancer Awareness. The Southern Ohio Quarter Pony Association Sponsored a Horse show this weeekend in Circleville Ohio. 100% of the proceeds went to Breast Cancer Research and Awareness. I Participated in the Show with my mighty studless steed Elmer. I started Practicing for this show back in June. Hours in the saddle trying to perfect my posture as well as my equitation, keeping my seat all that good stuff that goes along with a flawless performance in the ring. It paid off. The first two classes I entered in were halter classes, the first class was the $100.00 Open Halter Class, I took 3rd, the second Halter Class was just an open halter class in which i again took 3rd. All that time in the saddle i forgot to brush up on my halter class skills. Not that I really could have done much. They judge the horse not the handler, those are showmanship classe

The Teuton’s Battle Song
THE TEUTON’S BATTLE SONG by H. P. Lovecraft The might Woden laughs upon his throne, And once more claims his children for his own. The voice of Thor resounds again on high, While arm’d Valkyries ride from out of ths sky: The Gods of Asgard all their pow’rs released To rouse the dullard from his dream of peace. Awake! Ye hypocrites, and deign to scan the actions of your “brotherhood of Man”. Could your shrill pipings in the race impair The warlike impulse put by nature there? Where now the gentle maxims of the school, The cant of preachers, and the Golden Rule? What feeble word or doctrine now can sway? Too long restrain’d, the bloody tempest breaks, And Midgard ‘neath the tread of warriors shakes, On to death, Beserker bold! And try In acts of Godlike bravery to die! Who cares to find the heaven of the priest, When only warriors can with Woden feast? The flesh of Schrimnir, and the cup of mead, Are but for him who falls in martial deed: You luckless boor, that

Te Vas A Repentir
tu cres que fue tan dificil para ti? cuando yo estaba aqui esperando llorando pensando no se que voya pensar en ti ya no es lo mismo pero todavia creo que tienes bueno en ti eres un poquito de un tracero pero haz haciedo mas bueno que malo que "Dios" te bendiga y espero que te pongas feliz y saludable. adios amigo.

T Even On The Field For The Portion Of P
IRVING, Texas -- Dallas running back DeMarco Murray is likely to miss his sixth straight game Thursday against Washington with a sprained foot, and receiver Kevin Ogletree is out with a concussion. Murray was listed as doubtful Wednesday, when he wasnt even on the field for the portion of practice reporters could see. He hasnt been listed as a practice participant since getting injured Oct. 14 at Baltimore. Ogletree and safety Charlie Peprah sustained concussions last weekend against Cleveland. Peprah is questionable for the Redskins. Murrays backup, Felix Jones, is questionable with a knee injury. Undrafted rookie Lance Dunbar could get his first NFL start Thursday. Left tackle Tyron Smith, who sprained an ankle against Baltimore, wasnt working with the first team in practice Wednesday. Cheap NHL Jerseys . -- Albertas Jocelyn Peterman scored four in the fourth and five in the fifth to claim a 12-6 victory over Manitobas Shannon Birchard and win the M&M Meat Shops Canadian jun

Tewart In A 10-3 Victory Over The Red Sox On Wednesday Night. Wilson (10-9) Was Staked To An Early Eight-run Lead In His First Victory Since June 26,
ANAHEIM, Calif. -- C.J. Wilsons famously positive mental attitude kept him from getting down on himself while he went two months without a win. Thanks to a bountiful offensive night by his Angels teammates, Wilson is feeling even better now. Kendrys Morales and Chris Iannetta hit early two-run homers, Wilson snapped his 11-start winless skid and Los Angeles jumped all over new Boston starter Zach Stewart in a 10-3 victory over the Red Sox on Wednesday night. Wilson (10-9) was staked to an early eight-run lead in his first victory since June 26, ending a dismaying stretch of futility by the Angels $77.5 million left-hander. Los Angeles All-Star free-agent acquisition still gave up eight hits and three runs while labouring at times through six innings, but struck out four and won at home for the first time since June 19. "Its good to go out there and give the team what it needed," Wilson said while wearing a black T-shirt with "P-M-A" on the front, advertising his devotion to

Tewdope Vs Brown Eyed Papi
Guess what two people pitted against each other in a battle to find out who is a Bigger Point Whore. The Lovely TewDope Vs Me(B.E.P.) battle started yesterday. Who do you think will win????? Who is the bigger point whore!!!! TewDope Or B.E.P. Should be fun here is an early Day to Day tracking.....Ha ha ha I have to much time on my hands!!!!

Tewdope™ Vs Brown Eyed Papi™ - Yesterday Final Figures
Ha ha ha ha TewDope™ VS Brown Eyed Papi™ Got some major help last night that TewDope™ had to start begging for help to beat me!!!!! TewDope™ is fucking awesome for playing along, Hope you Fu's have a Great Day!!!!!

Tewdope ™ Gilf Said To Do This , You Ff
Instructions...... Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird or random things, facts, or habits about yourself. At the end, you choose at least a people to be tagged, listing their names . Don't forget to leave a comment that says, "You're it!" on their profile and ask them to read your blog. You can't tag the person who tagged you. 1. im obsessed with working out 2. if i do something bad , i do feel guilty 3. im the shit at online games FF 4. i will fuck cindy 1 day !!!! 5. im a lesbian trapped in a mans body 6. im good at EVERYTHING 7. when i say i love someone i really mean it 8. i like to do all xmas shopping b4 november 9. i have OCD about certain things 10. i shave my balls lol repost with your answers if you get this !!!!

Tews Day Sun Shine
boooring!.... dresden dolls @ the ogden and it was a dud, figured that much... but i did got to a few mtgs. and hung out with like 4 peeps from like 11pm till now (330am) ,,..so it was cool. wednesday...death cab for cutie @ red rocks...shoobie fun.... the cure was last week and crushed it...so im happy :). i feel better today. managed to get some stuff out i was holdin in for a bit.... which is cool. and it went well. so ima happy dick. fukr out!

Texas Girls
Boston girls are pretty New York girls are smart But it takes a Texas girl To win a fella's heart Florida girls are tan Vegas girls are hoes But when you want the best looking girl Texas is where you gotta go Cali girls are wild Colorado girls are fun But Texas girls? Come on, they're number 1 Girls will be girls North, east, south or west But Texas girls Always rate the best To any man who reads this And truly wants to know If you have a Texas girl You should never let her go (I really don't like the longhorns too much, but I liked this pic's saying)

Texas Newfie
There once was a blind Newfie who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas." When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas." After a couple of beers, the blind Newfie asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." The blind Newfie headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool. He fell into the pool by accident. Scared to death, the blind Newfie started shouting, "Don't flush, don't flush!"

Texas Hitchhiker
He drove along the dusty Texas highway listening to old country and western tunes when he saw a figure up ahead. As he got closer he could make out the shape of a woman holding out a sign saying "El Paso." She wore a flowered dress and a white blouse. She was a dark lady about twenty five years old. The dust flew around her and the wind tossed her dark tresses about her head. He slowed down as he approached her and rolled down the window. She smiled at him and said, "Can you give me a lift?" He replied, "Why sure, just inside" as he stopped. She opened the passenger door and hoisted herself up into the truck. She sat down beside him and threw her sign into the back. He drove back into the road and proceeded on his way. She parted her legs a little and pulled up her dress, as he glanced over he could see her long luscious thighs of caramel. She noticed him watching her and stroked her thighs. It was hard for him to keep his eyes on the road but he managed. As they drove a littl

Texas
Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven , God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God. "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?" Inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth but cold and harsh, while southern Europe is going to be poor but sunny and pleasant. "I have made some lands abundant in water and other lands parched deserts. This one will be extremely hot and while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel , impressed by Go

Texas Gblt Law
Texas GBLT Law Texas Adoption Law Permits single GLBT individuals to petition to adopt? Yes. Texas law permits an adult to petition to adopt. TEX. FAM. CODE ANN. § 162.001. Permits a same-sex couple to jointly petition to adopt? Unclear. Permits a same-sex partner to petition to adopt partner's adopted child? Some Jurisdictions. In some jurisdictions in Texas a person may be able to petition to adopt the child or children that his or her same-sex partner already adopted. Texas Birth Certificate Law: Gender Identity Issues Issues a new or amended birth certificate? Yes. Texas permits a post-operative transsexual to amend his or her birth records after obtaining a court order indicating that his or her sex has been changed by surgical procedure and a court order indicating a name change. Some officials appear to be refusing to follow this policy based on a mistaken belief that the 1999 Littleton v. Prange decision prohibits them from doing so. Citations: T

A Texas Chili Cook-off
For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili cook-off about the time the rodeo comes to town. It takes up a major portion of the parking lot at the Astrodome. These notes are from an inexperienced chili taster named Joey, who was visiting Texas from the state of Mississippi: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the Budweiser truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted." Here are the scorecards from the event: Chili # 1 Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili: Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick. Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth, tomato flavor. Very mild. Judge # 3 (Joey) -- Holy shit

Texas Rangers Let Another One Go
Buck Showalter fired as Texas Rangers manager. Showalter was hired back in 2002 and turned the team around and had them in second place just three games out of first with a record of 89 wins and 73 loses in 2004. The Rangers had cut the payroll from $100 million to $70 million trading away Palmerio, Gonzalez, and MVP A.Rod. Buck took this no name young team through a rough season using 17 different starters. One after another the pitchers the Rangers had counted on went down to injuries. Despite all of this Buck delivered a winning season and was named the 2004 manager of the year. Names we all know now Michael Young, Hank Blalock, and Mark Teixiera stepped up and became leaders of the team. In 2005 Rangers fans were very optimistic. That would not last long. Bullpen relievers Frank Francisco and Carlos Almanzar were out early both with Tommy John surgery. Then the controversial Kenny Rogers got a 20 game suspension for attacking a camera man. Then in typical Ranger fashion GM J

Texas Ou Red River Shootout
College football has many big rivalries. Notre Dame and Navy, Penn State and Michigan State, and UCLA and Stanford just to name a few. This weekend is one that ranks right up at the top when Texas and OU meet again at the Cotton Bowl in Dallas. The rivalry goes all the way back to 1900. The Longhorns beat the Sooners 28-2 that first meeting and the game was in Austin. In 1901 and again in 1903 the two teams played each other twice. Texas won the first four games, the first game played in 1903 was a tie, then two more wins for Texas. OU got its first win was in 1905 in Oklahoma City. The first Dallas game was in 1912 and became the permanent annual site of the Red River Shootout in 1929.The neutral site has been one factor that has made this rivalry so big. The meeting halfway allows both teams to have a large fan representation and with a capacity of 68,252 it can really get to rocking. These two teams have had many games in past that had National Championship implications. This yea

Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I saw this movie tonight. I say movie because of course I would not put it into the category of a film...cos I'm a snob. But anywho...if you know me, you know that I am obsessed with the horror genre. I loved the original TCM and I loved the remake a few years ago. I was really looking forwawrd to this one...and I definitely wasn't dissapointed. It rocked. Full of gore and crying and screaming. I was really suprised by some of it though. A lot of the characters lasted a lot longer than I thought they would. I loved it because you got to see why a lot of stuff from TCM (2003) was the way it was. How the sherrif became sherrif, how he lost his front teeth, how Monty lost his legs, etc. Good times. I also liked how they took a lot of things from the original one from the 70's and put it in this movie. Like the famous dinner scene. That was in the original movie. Of course it was modified a little bit to fit this story, but it even had the main girl jumping out of a window. Rock. Most

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I saw the new TCM tonight. It was really good. I suggest you go see it. I was expecting a little more, but I'm not exactly sure what. It doesn't really matter, it was still very good, and definately worth the $9 if you're a horror fan. That's all ;)

Texas Chainsaw Review
What do you get when you watch a rehash of a remake? The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning. Truly lacking in originality, this prequel to the 2003 remake is everything that its predecessor was not: plodding, uninspired, gratuitously violent and just all-around disgusting. That's not to say that the two films -- and, in fact, the 1974 masterpiece that started it all -- do not share some of these qualities, which in some measures can prove effective. But TCM: The Beginning stands out more as an example of the current trend in horror -- unrelenting and not frightening brutality -- rather than the next-gen installment of a more than 30 year-old franchise. The film follows the increasingly formulaic tradition of horror movies made at New Line where the villains rather than the victims are the focal point of the story. As with Freddy in the Nightmare on Elm Street series or Death itself in the Final Destination films, the storytellers are far less interested in who inhabits the "

Texas Sunsets & Skies
Have camera, will travel! LOL.. I am always carrying my digital camera in the off chance that I might miss a memory capturing photo opportunity... This probably stems from being raised in a photobug family where everyone always had some cameras to take photos. My Uncle died when he was only 44 years old. My cousins had never really taken a lot of pictures in their family; it was my Dad and our family that was always taking photos. After my Uncle died, my cousins were looking to us to provide them photos of their loving Dad. It was at that point in time, I really began to appreciate all the photos our family took day in and day out. To become a member of our family, one certainly can't have a bit of camera shyness about them!!! LOL... At any rate... One of the things I love is the glory of God shown through nature and our surroundings and Texas certainly demonstrates that well at times. As such I created the photo album "Texas Sunset & Skies" to drop some of thos

Texas Ranch Potato Salad
Original recipe yield: 16 servings PREP TIME 30 Min COOK TIME 30 Min READY IN 1 Hr NGREDIENTS * 1 (1 ounce) package ranch dressing mix * 2 cups mayonnaise * 3/4 cup chopped green onion * 1 pound bacon slices * 5 pounds unpeeled red potatoes DIRECTIONS 1. Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Add whole potatoes, and cook until tender, 15 to 20 minutes. Drain, run under cold water to cool, and chop into 1 inch cubes. Transfer to a large serving bowl, and refrigerate until completely chilled, about 2 hours. 2. In a small bowl, stir together the ranch dressing mix, mayonnaise and green onion. Cover, and refrigerate for about 2 hours to blend flavors. 3. Wrap bacon in paper towels and place on a plate. Cook in the microwave until crisp, about 15 minutes depending on the power of your microwave. Cool. 4. Stir the mayonnaise mixture into the bowl of potatoes. Crumble bacon into the bowl, and stir to distribute. Serve. S

Texas?!
What the hell is up with Texas and those crazy Texans?I mean to they make it seem like if you're from Texas its like flying down from some Godly planet of all awesomeness and those not from that Godly planet of all awesomeness can just rot in hell because they are obviously way cooler than us non-Texans. I hate to admit it but when I meet someone that says they are from Texas (they always will) I already have a sort of prejudice towards them if not for their overly over the top since of devotedness for Texas, its the fact that they are so cocky about it. Cockiness isn't even a good virtue to have, confidence yes, cocky no. Yeah ok Texas may not be that bad a place, I've been there for a few months, but its nothing special. Those religious types that try and convert everyone they happen to glance at are exactly what I think of when I hear a Texan trying to push his "Great State" down the throats of others. Its a State in the UNITED States of America, yeah that word united, crazy word

Texas Cows.. A Joke, Dammit.
The only cow in a small town in Massachusetts stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found they could buy a cow in Bushville, Texas for $200. They bought the cow from Texas and the cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people were pleased and very happy. They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. They would never have to worry about their milk supply again. They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest. The people were very upset and decided to ask the Vet, who was very wise, what to do. They told the Vet what was happening. "Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the fr

Texas Ribeye
Recipe Rating: Prep Time: 5 min Total Time: 17 min Makes: 8 servings, 1/2 steak each 2/3 cup A.1. Original Steak Sauce 4 cloves garlic, minced 1 tsp. ground cumin 1/4 tsp. ground red pepper (cayenne) 4 boneless beef ribeye steaks (8 oz. each) PREHEAT grill to medium-high heat. Mix steak sauce, garlic, cumin and pepper until well blended. GRILL steaks 4 to 6 min. on each side or until cooked through, brushing frequently with the steak sauce mixture. CUT each steak in half to serve. KRAFT KITCHENS TIPS Round Out The Meal Serve with a cooked crisp green vegetable, such as broccoli, and a glass of fat free milk. Great Substitute Prepare as directed, using bone-in beef ribeye steaks, increasing the grilling time if necessary. Use Your Broiler NUTRITION INFORMATION Nutrition (per serving) Calories 240 Total fat 14g Saturated fat 5g Cholesterol 105mg Sodium 410mg Carbohydrate 4g Dietary fiber 0g Sugars 3g

Texas Midget
The testicles of a Texas midget hurt and ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem. The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doc put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia. "Aha!" mumbled the doc and, as he put his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again. "Aha!" said the doctor again, reached for his surgical scissors Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side, then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side. The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told the midget to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt. The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his testic

Texas Chili Cookoff Funny As Hell
Chili Cook Off If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end. Note: Please take time to read this slowly. (I've read this probably 5 times and it never fails to reduce me to tears of laughter). Hope it does the same for you!!! If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook Off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park. Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili Taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield , IL. Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other t

Texas Chili Cook Off
TEXAS CHILI COOK OFF These are notes from an inexperienced chili tester named FRANK, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast: “Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking directions to the beer wagon, when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting. So I accepted.” Here are the scorecards from the event: CHILI #1: MIKE’S MANIAC MOBSTER MONSTER CHILI JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick. JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild. FRANK: Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that’s the worst one. These Texans are crazy. CHILI #2:

Texas Cowboy Sex
COWBOY SEX... Prior to her trip to Texas, Buffy (a New Yorker) confided to her co-workers she had three goals for her trip to the Lone Star State: 1. She wanted to taste some real Texas Bar-B-Que. 2. She wanted to take in a bona fide rodeo. And.. 3. She wanted to have sex with a real cowboy. Upon her return, the girls were curious as to how she fared. Let me tell you, they have a tree down there called a Mesquite and when they slow cook that brisket over that Mesquite, it's ooooh so good. The taste is unbelievable! And I went to a real rodeo. Talk about athletes those guys wrestle full grown bulls! They ride horses at a full gallop, then jump off the horses and grab the bull by the horns and throw them to the ground! It is just incredible! They then asked, Well tell us, did you have sex with a real cowboy?" Are you kidding? When I saw the outline of the condom they carry in the back pocket of their jeans, I changed my mind!"

Texas Cowboy
A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains without water. His horse has already died of thirst. He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him. He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks to be an old briefcase. He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie. She is wearing an FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) ID badge and a dull gray dress. There's a calculator in her pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked behind one ear. "Well, cowboy," says the genie... "You know how I work....You have three wishes." "I'm not falling for this." said the cowboy... "I'm not going to trust a FEMA genie." "What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway!" The cowboy thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie

Texas Girls
A girl from Texas and a girl from the east coast were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from Texas, being friendly and all, said, "So, where ya from?" The east coast girl said, "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence." The girl from Texas sat quietly for a few moments and then replied: "So, where ya from, bitch?"

Texas Pecan Chicken Recipe.
Ingredients: 4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts 3/4 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper 8 ounces fresh mushrooms, chopped 1/2 small onion, diced or 6 green onions 2 tablespoons butter 4 ounces cream cheese, softened 1 tablespoon French style mustard 1 tablespoon snipped fresh thyme or 1 teaspoon dried thyme 1/2 cup butter, melted 1 1/2 cups finely diced Texas pecans 1 cup fine bread crumbs 1/4 cup minced fresh parsley Directions: On hard surface with meat mallet, pound chicken to 1/4 inch thickness. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Sauté mushrooms and onions in butter. Cool. Mix with cream cheese, mustard and thyme. Divide into 4 equal portions and spread on each piece of chicken. Fold over ends and roll up, pressing edges to seal. Mix pecans, bread crumbs and parsley in a bowl. Dip chicken in butter, then into crumbs, turning to coat. Place on greased baking sheet seam side down. Bake at 350 degrees for 35 minutes or until done. Makes 4 servings. Serv

Texas Flood
Texas Flood Yeah so our backroom flooded saturday. I did not find out about it til I got home late saturday night, (really early sunday morning). By then half of the carpet in the backroom was soaked up as well. I stayed up all night soaking it up with towels, throwing them in the dryer and doing it all over again. The water seemed to just keep coming. The appartment that we are in is at the end of the drainage line and there are at least three other apartments hooked up to the same line. So when the plumbing is stopped up, it all backes up into our place. *EWWW GROSSSS!!!* So I stayed up till nine a.m. and called the appartment office and left them a message telling them the problem. Of course they are closed on sunday, so I left a message on the pager. Anyway they called me back later that day and a plumber came and fixed the problem by about 6:00 p.m. By then the entire carpet was soaked again. Well, Ezra and I got the mess all cleaned up again. Even using a

A Texan
A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of drinkin' fools. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back." The room is quiet and no one takes of the Texan's offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later, the same Irishman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?", asks the Irishman. The Texan says "Yes," and he asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately, the Irishman tears into all 10 pints of beer, drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits down in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and asks, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?" The Irishman replies, "Oh... I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."

The Texas Cowboy
THE TEXAS COWBOY A Mexican drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Mexico our glass is so cheap we don't need to drink from the same glass twice." An Iraqi, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his AK-47 and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Iraq we have so much sand to make glass that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either." The Texas cowboy, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his pistol and shoots the Mexican and the Iraqi, and catches his glass. He says, "In America we have so many illegal Mexicans and Arabs that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice."

Texas Here I Come!!
Just wanted to let eveyone know that I will be moving to Texas VERY soon. If my profile says I'm on, but I don't respond, I'm probably busy. Just give me awhile, and I'll get back to you ASAP. If you know my screen names feel free to contact me anytime. If I have an away message up, still IM me if you want. I'm probably just putting somthing in the washer or dryer, looking for something or packing it up. I'll get back to you as soon as I see your message. :D Hope to hear from you all soon!!

Texas
The only place in the world where they make Dr. Pepper according to the original formula is in Dublin, Texas. Dr Pepper was invented in Waco in 1885. There is no period after the Dr in Dr Pepper. According to the Texas Department of Transportation, one person is killed annually painting stripes on the state's highways and roads. Rodeo is the official state sport of Texas, though High School Football is more popular. In the mid 1980s, the employee cafeteria at Motorola in Austin had to stop serving food that contained poppy seeds because people showed false positives for opium when they were drug tested. Since then, the company reintroduced poppy seeds, and added Valium and several anti-depressants to a list of things not to bother testing for. Early Spanish missionaries in Texas hoped to encourage the spread of European values by offering flannel underwear to Native Americans. People who moved to Lockhart, Texas in the 1950s are still considered by natives of the town to be

Texas Chili Contest
If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end. Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park. Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL. Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tast

Texas Chili Cook-off
Texas Chili Cook-off Warning - If you can read this whole story without laughing out loud, then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end. Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas you know how true this is. They actually have a chili cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio city park. The notes are from an inexperienced chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL. Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I cou

Texas Cowboy-repete Of Ole Time Favorite--updated
Subject: Texas Cowboy-repete of ole time favorite--updated Texas Cowboy A West Texas cowboy was herding his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location Which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultrahigh resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo

Texas Ladies
I have been put in a contest...never been in one before, but if y'all would go and vote for all the girls in the contest that would be pretty nice of you. Leave a vote for me too maybe? I think this is the link...lol http://cherrytap.com/viewimage.php?u=236021&albumid=164267&i=3612183646

A Texas Air Traffic Control Conversation:
A TEXAS AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL CONVERSATION: Dallas ATC: "Tower to Saudi Air 911--You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R." Saudi Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R --Allah be Praised!!" Dallas ATC: "Tower to Iran Air 711--You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R." Iran Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R.- -Allah is Great!!" Pause: Static............. Saudi Air: " DALLAS ATC ! DALLAS ATC ! Dallas ATC: "Go ahead Saudi Air 911?" Saudi Air: "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS !!! WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE !!! INSTRUCTIONS PLEASE!!! Dallas ATC: "Well bless your hearts. Y'all be careful now and tell Allah 'hey' for us -- ya hear?

Texas Sex
Texas Sex Three Texans, Pappy, Joe and Ben, were out on the range chatting during their weekly baths, when as all men do, their conversation eventually turned to sex and their favorite sex positions. Joe boastfully remarked, "I think I enjoy the 'Rodeo Position' the best." "I don't think I've ever heard of that one. What the heck is it?" asked Ben. "Yer sayin' that all these years ya never heard of Rodeo Position? Well, it's where y'all get yer wife down on all fours and ya mount her from behind. Then ya reach around and cup each one of her boobs in yer hands and whisper in her ear... 'BOY THESE FEEL JUST LIKE YER SISTER'S!' Then ya just try to stay on her for 8 seconds."

Texas History Quiz
1. What is the Texas motto? State Sovereignty, National Union Die with your boots on Remember the Alamo Friendship 2. What is the Texas flower? Indian paintbrush yellow rose bluebonnet sunflower 3. What is the Texas tree? mesquite live oak cypress pecan 4. What is the Texas bird? eagle mockingbird grackle purple martin 5. What is the Texas song? The Yellow Rose of Texas Deep in the Heart of Texas Texas, Our Texas San Antonio Rose 6. What is the state fruit of Texas? Pecos cantaloupe orange red grapefruit peach 7. How many counties are in Texas? 302 254 151 98 8. Which of the following was NOT one of the six flags over Texas? Germany Mexico France Spain 9. What is the largest river between the Red River and the Rio Grande? Rio Frio Brazos River Guadalupe River Mississippi River 10. About how long did it take the Texans to defeat the Mexican forces at San Jacinto on April 21, 1836? four days 18 minutes

Texas Sucks
WHY IS IT THAT EVERY WOMAN I HAVE MET IN THIS STATE IS ALL ABOUT PLAYING GAMES, TRY AND SHOW MY INTEREST AND IT ALWAYS BITES ME IN THE ARSE, THEY BLAME IT ON ME FLIRTING TOO MUCH ON THE INTERNET. THOGUHT THATS WHAT PEOPLE DID BECAUSE IT WAS A WAY TO GET AWAY FROM THE EVERYDAY LIFE, GUESS I AM WRONG. EVERYDAY I SPEND IN THIS HELL HOLE MAKES ME WANT TO GO BACK TO GEORGIA MORE AND MORE ATLEAST THE PEOPLE THERE ARE SINCERE AND HONEST.

Texas Women
I think some of the most beautiful women on the planet come from the great state of Texas.The state of Texas has long had it's fair share of beauty contest winner's to prove this fact.We are all intitled to our own opinions but the facts speak for themselves ladies and gentlemen!Texas really knows how to grow them. Texas is a state long known for four things,the yellow rose,oil,Dallas Cowboy's,and of course it's beautiful women.I could spend all day just listing the names of all the female celebrities,models,politicians,and sports figures that are from Texas. Beautiful women are everywhere you go but Texas just seems to have a few more of them than anyone else.

Texas Telephone Poll
Subject: Latest Texas telephone poll > > >The latest telephone poll taken by the office > of the Governor > >of Texas asked whether people who live in > Texas think illegal > >immigration is a serious problem: > > > >A) 35% of respondents answered: "Yes, it is a > serious > >problem." > > > >B) 65% of respondents answered: "No es una > problema serio."

Texans & Californians
TEXAS ALWAYS WINS!!!!!! Bring it Cali! Somebody from California apparently wrote the top part, but somebody from Texas came back and put them on thier asses at the bottom. OH SNAP WE KILLED EM! CALIFORNIA: - I can wear sandals all year long - I go to the Beach - not "down to the shore" -Our chicks are WAYYYY hotter than yours. Well...Miami can hang. - I say "like" and "for sure" and "right on" and "dude" and "totally" and "peace out" and "chill" and "tight" and "bro" and I say them often - I know what real cheese & avocados taste like -Everyone smokes weed and its no big deal -We'll roll up 40 deep when something goes down. -I live next door to Mexicans, but we call them American's! -All the porn you watch is made here, cause we're better and thats how it is - I don't get snowdays off because theres only snow in Mammoth, Tahoe, Shasta, and Big Bear - I know 65 mph really means 100 - When someone cuts me off, they get the horn and the fi

A Texas Law Enforcement Surge
McAllen, TX] - A law enforcement surge. That's how Governor Rick Perry is describing the latest border security program called Operation Wrangler. What is an expansion of Operation Rio Grande, Operation Wrangler will deploy more than 600 Texas Army National Guard troops around the state, with a majority of them in the Valley to help crack down on illegal immigrant and drug trafficking. But Perry, in McAllen yesterday, says he needs 100-million dollars from the legislature to fund the new operation, along with its support plan Operation Linebacker: However, Operation Wrangler is drawing concern from several Valley police chiefs and sheriffs, who don't like the idea of local cops pairing up with specially-trained soldiers, saying it's another step toward militarizing the border. Some people just don't get it... militarizing our border is exactly what's needed. After living in the Rio Grande Valley for 12 years, I can attest to the fact that well more than a few local law officials

Texas Midget (i'm Not Making Fun But I Just Thought It Was Funny)
A midget in Texas went to the doctor because his testicles hurt and ached almost all the time. The doctor told him to drop his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doc put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia. "Hmmmm" mumbled the doc and, as he put his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again. "Hmmmmm, I see the problem" said the doctor again, and reached for his surgical scissors. Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side, then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side. The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told the midget to hop down off the table and pull his pants up and walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still ached. The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his testicles were no longer ach

Texas Truely Has It All
Need to be cheered up? Move to Texas Happy , Texas 79042 Smiley , Texas 78159 Par adise , Texas 76073 Rainbow , Texas 76077 Sweet Home , Texas 77987 Why travel? Texas has them all! Detroit , Texas 75436 Colorado City , Texas 79512 Denver City , Texas 79323 Nevada , Texas 75173 Memphis , Texas 79245 Miami , Texas 79059 New Boston , Texas 75570 Santa Fe , Texas 77517 Tennessee Colony , Texas 75861 Feel like traveling outside the country? Don't bother buying a plane ticket! Athens , Texas 75751 Canadian , Texas 79014 China , Texas 77613 Egypt , Texas 77436 Turkey , Te xas 79261 London , Texas 76854 New London , Texas 75682 Paris , Texas 75460 We even have a city named after our planet! Earth , Texas 79031 And a city named after our State! Texas City , Texas 77590 Exhausted? Energy , Texas 76452 Need Office Supp

Texas Hold 'em, And Other Ways To Make Boys Cry
Ok so like it's no big secret that I am addicted to online poker. I only play for play money though. But ya know, if I ever get a chance to enter a real live tournie I am SO doing it! I just won a rather large online tournie. Padded my fake bank account rather nicely. I had fun... ..but what a bunch of whine ass babies! GOD! I dunno, maybe it's my witty (well at least I find them witty) on table remarks to people who are playing like jerkoffs. For instance I said to one guy who was being a dick "Hey Dickhead (not really his name!) can I ask you something?" Dickhead says, "sure" So I ask him, "Do you live in a box?" and he says "No, why?" ...."Because you sure are a tool!" or "Hey dickhead, I would ask for a refund on that 'how to win at poker' book you bought" I know they're not all that funny but it's just enough to annoy them and tilt their game. =D Works like a friggin' charm! ....maybe it's my poker name. "A-GirlBeatU". It never fails, some asshat always says, "A girl w

The Texas Relays
THE TEXAS RELAYS Place: Austin, TX Date: April 4-7, 2007 Comments: Super party Weekend showcased under an exciting world class track and field event. Thousands pack the streets, clubs of Austin, Tx for what has become the premier sporting event of the spring and summer of the south.

The Texas Beach Party A.k.a Kappa Beach Party
THE TEXAS BEACH PARTY A.K.A KAPPA BEACH PARTY Place: Galveston, Texas Date: Date: April 20-22, 2007 Comments: The party brings an estimated 30,000 participants to Galveston,Texas every year. Over 4 1/2 miles of street parties, vendors, exotic cars, S.U.Vs, bikinis, concerts and more pack one of the largest black beach events in the world. Nicknamed the "Dirty South" for a reason.

The "texas" Menu
This is the same menu that the study in Texas is having. Being that they started the study first we have to have what they are eating also.. I think it is great, but way to much food. Monday's menu- Breakfast will be 4 fl. oz of orange juice, 1 box of cherrios, 8 fl. oz of skim milk, 1 bagel, 3/4 oz fat-free cream cheese, 1 blueberry muffin Lunch is BBQ pork rib pattie, 1 seeded bun, 2 tbsp bbq sauce, 1 pkg Bugels, 1/2 cup pinto beans, 1 cranberry crunch cookie Dinner 1 serving (6 oz) of King Ranch Casserole, 2 pkts picante sauce, 1/2 cup chuckwagon corn, 1/2 cup spanish rice, 1 slice orange iced cake Snack 1 pkg (2.25 oz) Trail Mix, 8 fl. oz of skim milk ___________________________________________________ Tuesday's menu- Breakfast includes 4 fl. oz of Apple juice, 2 buttermilk Biscuits, 1/2 cup sausage gravy, 1/2 cup mixed fruit in light syrup, 1 pkt Margerine, 1 pkt Jelly, 8 fl oz 2% Milk Lunch is Taco Salad (1 taco bowl, 1/2 cup browned taco seasoned

Texan's Confession
A married Texan went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman." The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?" The Texan said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed our bodies together; but then I stopped." The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box." The Texan left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!" The Texan replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in.

Texas Friends
FRIENDS: Tell you not to do something stupid when drunk TEXAS FRIENDS: Will post 360 degree security so you dont get caught --------------------------------------------------------- FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs TEXAS FRIENDS: Call your parents drunk as hell and tell them about the fat chick you tried to pick up -------------------------------------------------------------------- FRIENDS: Hope the night out drinking goes smoothly, and hope that no one is late for the ride home. TEXAS FRIENDS: Know some wild shit will happen, and set up rally points and an E & E route. --------------------------------------------------------------- FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. TEXAS FRIENDS: Will be sitting next to you saying, Damn...that shit was fun " ------------------------------------------------------ FRIENDS: Cry with you. TEXAS FRIENDS: laugh at you ---------------------------------------------------------

Texas Skies
I’ve seen the majestic splendor, Of an eagle in its’ flight. But even this beauty cannot compare, To the Texas sky at night. This open expanse so great in scope, Filled with bright shining stars. This is a joy only a Texan knows, An experience uniquely ours. To stand by the Brazos in Waco, Or on the plains in Abilene. These bring happiness to a Texas heart, Only those from here can know what I mean. A drive down a Hill Country road, Or through the Big Thicket in spring. Offer views nowhere else can boast Our wildlife is a marvelous thing. The scenery in Texas Can be found nowhere else in this world. Vistas, plains, bayous and more Our Texan boasting will be told. You can have your Rocky Mountains, Or your hills of Tennessee. But give me the stars in the Texas sky, That is heaven to me. Nothing in life can compare, To the Texas sky at night. Holding the one you love in your arms, Knowing it feels so right. I do not know if I will be lucky enough

Texas Salesman
A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job. The manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas." The boss liked the kid so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many sales did you make today?" Kid says, "One." Boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?" Kid says "$201,237.64." Boss says "201,237.64?? What the heck did you sell?" Kid says, "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod.Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat; we went down to the boat department and

Texas Wife
Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties. The first man had married a Woman from Colorado and had told her that she was going to do dishes and house clea ning. It took a couple days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and dishes washed and dinner cooked. The second man had married a woman from Nebraska . He had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table. The third man had married a girl from ! Texas . He told her that her duties were to keep the house clean, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day some of the swelling had gone down an

Texas
Just to let everyone know. I am getting ready to make a big move in my life. I am moving back home to Texas. I know that there are a few of you that this might pertain to and I will miss some of my friends up here in Kansas. But I have to move on with my life and get away from here. I am going to be having a going away party up here so if anyone would like to come or help me set this up just let me know. Love you guys, Ti

Texas
Hey everyone, just to everyone know that we are moving to Texas next week. We got great job offers and arent going to pass them up. We arent sure how often we will be able to check CT so leave us a message and we will do our best to respond in a timely manner.

Texas State Police
GOOD In Richardson, Texas State Trooper was using radar. He had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting any. Then he discovered the problem. A 12 year old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign which read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD!" The officer later found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading, "TIPS" and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!) BETTER A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in Plano, Texas. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs. BEST A young woman was pulled over in Austin, Texas for speeding. As the TX State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Texas State Police Ball." He replied, "Texas State Troopers don't have balls." There was a moment o

The Texas Midget
The Texas Midget The testicles of a Texas midget hurt and ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem. The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doc put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia. "Aha!" mumbled the doc, and as he put his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again. "Aha!" said the doctor once more, and reached for his surgical scissors. “Snip-snip-snip-snip” on the right side, then “snip-snip-snip-snip” on the left side. The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told the Midget to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt. The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and dis

Texan Proud
Somebody from California apparently wrote the top part, but somebody from Texas came back and put them on their asses at the bottom. And whoever that was, GOD BLESS YOU! CALIFORNIA: - I can wear sandals all year long - I go to the Beach - not "down to the shore" -Our chicks are WAYYYY hotter than yours. Well...Miami can hang. - I say "like" and "for sure" and "right on" and "dude" and "totally" and "peace out" and "chill" and "tight" and "bro" and I say them often - I know what real cheese & avocados taste like -Everyone smokes weed and its no big deal -We'll roll up 40 deep when something goes down. -I live next door to Mexicans, but we call them American's! -All the porn you watch is made here, cause we're better and thats how it is - I don't get snowdays off because theres only snow in Mammoth, Tahoe, Shasta, and Big Bear - I know 65 mph really means 100 - When someone cuts me off, they get the horn and the finger and high speed chase cuz we do

A Texas Girl
A Mexican, an Iraqi, and a Texas Girl are in the same bar... > > > >When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, >pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In >Mexico our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink from the same one >twice." > >The Iraqi, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his >glass into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. >He says, "In Iraq we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't >need to drink out of the same one twice either. > >The Texas Girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one >draft, throws the glass into the air, pulls out her gun, and shoots the >Mexican and the Iraqi. Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and >asking the bartender for a refill, she says, "In America we have so many >illegal Mexicans and Arabs that we don't have to drink with the same >ones twice. > >God Bless America

Texas Police Encounters
Texas Police Encounters GOOD... In Richardson, Texas a State Trooper was running radar. He had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting any. Then he discovered the problem. A 12 year old boy was standing up the north end of the road with a hand painted sign which read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD!" The officer later found a young accomplice down the south end of the road with a sign reading, "TIPS" and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!!) BETTER... A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in Plano, Texas. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs. The man paid his ticket. BEST... A young woman was pulled over in Austin, Texas for speeding. As the Texas State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet you are going t

Texans They're Everywhere!
They're Everywhere! Gabriel came to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you. We have some Texans up here who are causing problems. They're swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, and they are wearing T-shirts instead of robes. "There's barbecue sauce and picante sauce everywhere, especially all over their T-shirts; their dogs are riding in the chariots, and chasing the sheep; they're wearing baseball caps and cowboy hats instead of their halos. "They refuse to keep the stairway to heaven clean, and their boots are marking and scratching up the halls of wisdom. There are watermelon seeds and pig feet bones all over the place. Some of them are running around with just one wing; they refuse to walk and insist on bringing their horses with them." The Lord said, "Texans are Texans, Gabriel. Heaven is home to all my children. If you want to know about real problems, call the Devil." The Devil answered the phone, "Hello --- hold on a minute." The Devil returned to t

Texas
Natural Born Natives of the land of Texas have always held a certain pride in being a natural born Texan. There is a self-respect and emotion which arises in our hearts and minds when we hear songs like, The Eyes of Texas, Texas Our Texas, Yellow Rose of Texas, Long Tall Texan, and others. A sense of pride comes over us when we recognize our Texas bird (mockingbird), our Texas flower (bluebonnet), our Texas tree (pecan), our Texas seal (olive branch and live oak), our Texas flag (the lone star and the bonnie blue), and when we gaze upon and admire our Capitol Building and the Alamo. We get a special sense of self-esteem when we recall our history back to when our land was its own independent nation. A wistful dream comes on us that Texas could return to that status and we could be our own people once again, owing nobody or any nation anything. A quiet type of patriotism arises in Texans, honoring those who died at the Alamo to achieve our independence, and those who ga

Texas Humor
A man met a beautiful blonde lady and he decided that they must marry right away. She said, "But we don't know anything about each other." He said, "That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along." So she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort. One morning they were laying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 Meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer, followed by a three rotations in a jackknife position, where he straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel. She said, "That was incredible!" He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along." So she got up, jumped in the pool, and started doing laps. After about fifty laps she climbed back out and lay down on her towel, hardly out of breath. He said, "That was incredible! Were yo

Texas Verses Cali...go Texas
IT'S ALL BOUT TX. NOT CALI...HEHE... It's all about Texas today baby!! Somebody from California apparently wrote the top part, but somebody from Texas came back and put them on their asses at the bottom. CALIFORNIA: - I can wear sandals all year long - I go to the Beach - not "down to the shore" -Our chicks are WAYYYY hotter than yours. Well...Miami can hang. - I say "like" and "for sure" and "right on" and "dude" and "totally" and "peace out" and "chill" and "tight" and "bro" and I say them often - I know what real cheese & avocados taste like -Everyone smokes weed and its no big deal -We'll roll up 40 deep when something goes down. -I live next door to Mexicans, but we call them American's! -All the porn you watch is made here, cause we're better and that's how it is - I don't get snowdays off because there's only snow in Mammoth, Tahoe, Shasta, and Big Bear - I know 65 mph really means 100 - When someone cuts me off, they ge

Texas
TEXAS: Ahem... So.. Um.. yeah... I read this, and thought I would reply... Hey... California listen up... Texas is where its at! - I too can wear sandals all year long... plus I can put on boots to stomp your toes and I won't even stick out. - You may be able to go to the "beach" instead of the "shore"... but can you go to the drive thru "Beer Barn?" What now surfer boy? - You're chicks aren't way hotter than ours... they are almost equal... and thats only due to silicone, saline, botox, lasers and hair dye... We have the real ones and they can beat yours up. - We're taught to say "Yes Sir" and "Yes Ma'am" and respect our elders because of it. We also say "Howdy" and "fixin" and "Yall" are pretty much recognized right away anywhere in the world We're famous. And not becuase of that fake ass "bro-ho" "so-cal" shit that yall think makes you "Famous", fuckers. - You may know what real cheese and avocados taste like... but I know what 100% Grade A Angus Beef tastes l

Texas Driving
I get so aggravated with Texas Drivers...no signals, jut out in front of you, cut you off and then flip ya off like it was all your fault. I go at least 5 to 10 mph over the speed limit...when I shouldn't but what else can you do when someone is tailgating your ass. I do slam on my brakes...and I say out loud...here let me test your brakes and I hope you have the money to pay for my truck when you hit it. So if you ever see a little white Sport Trac Explorer with a Canadian Flag on the bumper...stay off my tailgate cause you just might be making my next truck payment and probably more. Have a great day! Kris

Texas Hold-em
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Texas!!!!!
TEXAS: Ahem... So.. Um.. yeah... I read this, and thought I would reply... Hey... California listen up... Texas is where its at! - I too can wear sandals all year long... plus I can put on boots to stomp your toes and I won't even stick out. - You may be able to go to the "beach" instead of the "shore"... but can you go to the drive thru "Beer Barn?" What now surfer boy? - You're chicks aren't way hotter than ours... they are almost equal... and thats only due to silicone, saline, botox, lasers and hair dye... We have the real ones and they can beat yours up. - We're taught to say "Yes Sir" and "Yes Ma'am" and respect our elders because of it. We also say "Howdy" and "fixin" and "Yall" are pretty much recognized right away anywhere in the world We're famous. And not becuase of that fake ass "bro-ho" "so-cal" shit that yall think makes you "Famous", fuckers. - You may know what real cheese and avocados taste like... but I know what 100% Grade A Angus Beef tastes

Texas
TEXAS When you're from Texas , people that you meet ask you questions like, Do you have any cows?" "Do you have horses?" "Bet you got a bunch of guns, eh?" They all want to know if you've been to Southfork. They watched Dallas . Have you ever looked at a map of the world? Look at Texas with me just for a second. That picture, with the Panhandle and the Gulf Coast , and the Red River and the Rio Grande is as much a part of you as anything ever will be.. As soon as anyone anywhere in the world looks at it they know what it is. It's Texas . Pick any kid off the street in Japan and draw him a picture of Texas in the dirt and he'll know what it is. What happens if I show you a picture of any other state? You might get it maybe after a second or two, but who else would? And even if you do, does it ever stir any feelings in you? In every man, woman and child on this planet, there is a person who wishes just once he could be a real live Texan and get up on a horse or ride off in a

Texas Bartender
Texas Bartender A man walked into a bar in Fort Worth, Texas and ordered a drink While he was sitting at the bar watching T.V., one of Hillary's political ads came on. After it ended, he stood up and announced to everyone, Hillary is a horse's ass!" The bartender reached under the bar and brought out an oak club about 18 inches long and hit the man square across the head, knocking him off his stool and onto the floor. After a minute or two, the man got up, straightened himself up and said to the bartender, "I'm sorry. I didn't know this was Hillary country." It's not!" replied the bartender. "This is horse country".

Texas Country Music
Country music from Texas i feel is quite different from what others concider country , it has its own style has alot more western feel to it , country swing, this says all Texas has long been a center for musical innovation. Texans have pioneered musical developments in tejano music, punk rock, mariachi, country music and the blues. Famous Texan musicians and groups include Earlobe Van Jensen Willie Nelson, Buck Owens, Buddy Holly, Roy Orbison, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Selena Quintanilla and ZZ Top. enjoy some good ol Texas Country Music

Texas Stuffed Grilled Burgers
Ingredients * 5 pounds lean ground beef * 6 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce * 2 teaspoons hickory seasoning (optional) * salt and pepper to taste * 2 cups chopped onion * 2 cups chopped fresh mushrooms * 2 cups chopped cooked ham * 3 cups shredded Cheddar cheese Cooking Instructions Preheat a grill for high heat. When the grill is hot, lightly oil the grate. In a large bowl, mix together the ground beef, Worcestershire sauce, hickory seasoning, salt and pepper until well blended. Make 8 or 10 balls, and flatten into patties. On one half of the patties, distribute the onions, mushrooms, ham and cheese. Carefully cover the piles with the remaining patties, making sure to seal all of the edges of the patties together tightly and enclose the filling. Grill the patties for 8 to 10 minutes per side, or until meat is well done, and cheese in the center is melted.

Texas Bound!
Alright due to situations and annoyances that have been going on in my life at the time..I have decided to say fuck it. I started checking out flights this morning while I was talking to my ex. The tickets have been purchased and it is final. I will not be here October 20-28 cause I will be going to Texas! The one place I can call my second home. When i'm down there spending time with him,I am at the peak of my happiness and I am content. I love it there and we haven't seen each other in a pretty long while. Yes I may still be interested in him and all but..I don't know,we'll see if anything happens. We have a connection that i've never had with anyone else. I doubt he will ever come back to me because he's a bullheaded irish man but,we atleast enjoy each other's company and never have a dull moment in hanging out together. We always come to one another when we're going through tough times and good times. I hope that never changes because no matter what,he's always going to have a plac

Texas Hot Stuff
Gotta love Texas Girls! A couple from Texas and a couple from the east coast were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from Texas , being friendly and all, said, "So, where ya'll from?" The east coast girl said, "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence." The girl from Texas sat quietly for a few moments and then replied: "So, where ya'll from, bitch?"

Texas
When you're from Texas, people that you meet ask you questions like: "Do you have any cows?" "Do you have horses?" "Bet you got a bunch of guns, eh?" They all want to know if you've been to Southfork. They watched Dallas. Have you ever looked at a map of the world? Look at Texas with me just for a second. That picture, with the Panhandle and the Gulf Coast, and the Red River and the Rio Grande is as much a part of you as anything ever will be. As soon as anyone anywhere in the world looks at it they know what it is. It's Texas. Pick any kid off the street in Japan and draw him a picture of Texas in the dirt and he'll know what it is. What happens if I show you a picture of any other state? You might get it maybe after a second or two, but who else would? And even if you do, does it ever stir any feelings in you? In every man, woman and child on this planet, there is a person who wishes just once he could be a real live Texan and get up on a horse or ride off

Texas
TEXAS Forget Rednecks, here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about folks from Texas ... If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Texas If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Texas . If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Texas . If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of Dallas for the weekend, you may live in Texas . If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas . If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Texas . If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Texas . If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Texas . If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Texas . If you find 60 deg

Texan In Ireland
A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back." The room is quiet, and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?" asks the Irishman. The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses, drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?" The Irishman replies, "Oh... I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."

Texas Friends
TEXAS FRIENDS FRIENDS: Will wait patiently with you in the long line to the bathroom and hold the stall door shut. TEXAS FRIENDS: Will shine a spotlight on you while your drunk ass is taking a piss in the bushes. --------------------------------------------------------- FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs TEXAS FRIENDS: Call your parents drunk as hell and tell them about the fat chick you tried to pick up ------------------------------------------------------------------- FRIENDS: Hope the night out drinking goes smoothly, and hope that no one is late for the ride home. TEXAS FRIENDS: Know some wild shit will happen, and set up rally points. -------------------------------------------------------------- FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. TEXAS FRIENDS: Will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that shit was fun " ------------------------------------------------------ FRIENDS: Cry with you. TEXAS FRIE

Texas Sex
Texas Sex Two Texans were out on the range talking about their favorite sex positions. One said, 'I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best.' 'I don't think I have ever heard of that one,' said the other cowboy. 'What is it?' 'Well, it's where you get your wife down on all fours and you mount her from behind. Then you reach around and cup each one of her breasts in your hands and whisper in her ear, 'Boy, these feel just like your sister's.' Then you try and stay on for 8 seconds. Have A Great Day! Jim

Texas To Chicago To Collared
i lived in Houston, Texas. Master sent me first friend request. I read that long profile He wrote there and I am now here for seven months in Chicago! i don't know better ways to say these things. i would answer maybe some question but not many. i am here online only when commanded by Master so i will see you all soon. sincerely, slavegirl

Texans You Got Love Them
TEXANS U GOTTA LOVE THEM Q. How do you know which one is the Aggie on the offshore oil rig? A. He's the one throwing bread to the helicopters. Survivor Texas Style Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Texas is planning to do its own, entitled Survivor - Texas Style. The contestants will start in Dallas, travel to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston and down to Brownsville. They will then proceed up to Del Rio, on to El Paso, then to Midland, Odessa, Lubbock and Amarillo. From there, they'll proceed to Abilene, Ft. Worth and finally back to Dallas. Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads, "I'm gay, I'm a vegetarian, I voted for Al Gore, George Strait Sucks, Hillary in 2008, and I'm here to confiscate your guns!" The first one to make it back to Dallas alive wins. The Bull and The Blonde Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in finan

Texas Chili (a True Story...kinda)
Chili Cook-Off If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end. This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in Texas. Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas , you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park . Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield , IL. Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili w

Texas Chili Cook Off
Chili Cook-Off If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end. This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in Texas. Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park. Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Joe, who was visiting from Plainfield, IL. Joe: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by th

Texas Pork Ribs
First the ribs are coated with a very sweet cayenne and garlic mixture and marinated in the fridge for eight hours. Then they 're cooked in the oven until tender and tossed onto a hot grill where they're basted with a yummy BBQ sauce for another ten minutes. Prep Time: 30m Cook Time: 5h Ready in: 13h 30m Yield: 12 servings Ingredients 6 pounds pork spareribs 1 1/2 cups white sugar 1/4 cup salt 2 1/2 tablespoons ground black pepper 3 tablespoons sweet paprika 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper, or to taste 2 tablespoons garlic powder 5 tablespoons pan drippings 1/2 cup chopped onion 4 cups ketchup 3 cups hot water 4 tablespoons brown sugar cayenne pepper to taste salt and pepper to taste 1 cup wood chips, soaked Directions 1. Clean the ribs, and trim away any excess fat. In a medium bowl, stir together the sugar, 1/4 cup salt, ground black pepper, paprika, 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper, and garlic powder. Coat ribs liberally with spice mix. Place the ribs in two 10x15 in

Texas Hold-em Poker Strategy.
Texas holdem is boring. Especially if you take it seriously. But everyone finds themselves sitting down at the green oval holdem table from time to time due to peer-pressure or curiosity of poker. There's plenty of Texas holdem books, Texas holdem websites, and Texas holdem instructors that can teach you Texas holdem strategy and techniques and bullshit on how to play well. But none of that really matters because even if you play poker better than everyone at the table, you'll still lose all your money to the rake. So if you're going to lose money playing Texas holdem, at least do it with some style. So in case you find yourself stranded in a Casino with $500 in your pocket, here are some practical Texas holdem tips and strategies that I've come up with. Talk constantly about girl problems, family problems, financial problems, anything personal. Blow smoke into the middle of the Texas holdem table. Tip the dealer a quarter on a huge pot and say, "Here ya go, buuuu

Texas
ANOTHER REASON TEXAS ROCKS!!! thought this was pretty amusing. Somebody from California apparently wrote the top part, which is pretty weak, but somebody from Texas came back and put them on their asses at the bottom. CALIFORNIA: - I can wear sandals all year long - I go to the Beach - not "down to the shore" -Our chicks are WAYYYY hotter than yours. Well...Miami can hang. - I say "like" and "for sure" and "right on" and "dude" and "totally" and "peace out" and "chill" and "tight" and "bro" and I say them often - I know what real cheese & avocados taste like -Everyone smokes weed and its no big deal -We'll roll up 40 deep when something goes down. -I live next door to Mexicans, but we call them American's! -All the porn you watch is made here, cause we're better and thats how it is - I don't get snowdays off because theres only snow in Mammoth, Tahoe, Shasta, and Big Bear - I know 65 mph really means 100 - When someone cuts me off, they get the

Texans Answer This....
Hey all you texan 4 wheelers, got a question for you..... WHY DO you come up alongside 80,000 Labs. of steel and just sit there??? Did they not teach you how to PASS in Driving School??? Do you realize how close your coming to being put in the ditch for doing STUPID shit like that? You seem to think it's funny, we think your just a FUCKING IDIOT!!!! And another thing you Texans seem to take enjoyment in doing.... Passing, then Slowing down, making us start to pass you again, and then Speeding up. Another Really STUPID thing to do. Come on people, wake up. You really have no idea who your Fucking with out there these days.

Texas
Been here n texas 3 weeks..same old story. The only guys ever interested are either way too young...19, 22...or way too old...69..72...I have no idea why life is doing this...I know someone up there is lying on the floor rolling in laughter ...saying send her another young one...make sure he lives with his mama....lol

Texas Independence
Quoted from: By Dr. Stephen L. Hardin, Professor of History, The Victoria College, Victoria, Texas - Texas is a state of mind. Texas is an obsession. Above all, Texas is a nation in every sense of the word. March 2 is a day to celebrate Texas distinctiveness. Now I'm not saying that Texans are better that other folks, but I am saying that we're different. And if a people consider themselves different, they are. March 2 should be to Texans what St. Patrick's Day is to the Irish. But what if you are a Tejano. Should you want to celebrate the day that Texas separated itself from Mexico. You bet! Even as early as 1835 Tejanos were distinctive from other Mexicans. The ranching culture that developed in Texas produced its own clothing, its own music, its own customs, and its own food. Gringos call it "Mexican food," but all one has to do to put the lie to that assertion is to eat the food in the interior - or try to. It is rather bland and not nearly as good as the Tejano food (we migh

A Texan's Opinion
T. B. Bechtel, a part-time City Councilman from Midland, TX , was asked on a local live radio talk show, just what he thought of the allegations of torture of the Iraqi prisoners. His reply prompted his ejection from the studio, but to thunderous applause from the audience. 'If hooking up an Iraqi prisoner's balls to a car's battery cables will save one Texas GI's life, then I have just three things to say, 'Red is positive' 'Black is negative' 'Make sure his balls are wet. God Bless Texas!!!

Texas Hold 'em
Almost every day of the week i go to different bars in the North Snohomish County area and play Texas Hold 'Em No Limit with a bunch of my friends.. The company is called Win your Way in and you can just go to WinYourWayIn.com and they have a website and tell you were they play at on what days and what bars and come out and have some fun.. I usually go to Flights in Everett, One Eyed Jacks in Lynnwood and Waldos in Lynnwood... I got kicked out of the bar Hawkeyes in Lake Stevens... Come out and play

Texas Cowboy
Texas Cowboy A cowboy, who is visiting Wyoming from Texas , walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time." The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado . When we all left our home in Texas , we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes

Texas!!!
I live in New Mexico & despite a low-grade rivalry between the Lone Star state & us we get along pretty well. You couldn't pay me enough to live anywhere in Texas. 'fore you Texans get all riled up,I've lived in El Paso(went to HS there),Houston & Corpus Christi. While I don't wanna live there,it's one of my favorite places to visit.Mom & Dad live in San Antone,I know the Riverwalk well,Dick's had the best damn shrimp last summer. Our last adventure in Port Aransas with my brother was so much fun we're goin' back this year....of course it helps that her daddy gave us a week's use of a condo on Padre Island for a week.It has a lighted fishing pier.I'll spend a day out in the Gulf on a boat fishing. Fish fry at our house when we get back! There's a restaurant in Ozona,The Hitchin' Post,the vegetarian plate only has 1/4 lb of meat on it & an extra slice of lettuce. Great chicken fried steak,we also recommend the house special,marinated sirloin tips. To be continued..

Texan's Way Of Handling Things!!
Three men - a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and a Texan are all working together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. 'I will give each on you one wish, which is three wishes in total', says the Genie. The Canadian says, 'I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada ..' POOF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming. Osama was amazed, so he said, 'I want a wall around Afghanistan , Palestine , Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians can come in our precious land.' POOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries. The Texan says, 'I am very curious. Please tell me more abou this wall.' The Genie explains, 'Well, it's about 5,000 feet high, 5oo feet thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in or out; it's

Texas Friends
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind when the cops come and will go back after they leave to find you TEXAS FRIENDS: Will pick you up and throw you on there shoulders carrying you through the bushes so you both don't get caught --------------------------------------------------------- FRIENDS: Will help you up and take you to the hospital after the fight you got into. TEXAS FRIENDS: Will find the mother fucker and beat his ass then come get you and take you to the hospital --------------------------------------------------------- FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs TEXAS FRIENDS: Call your parents drunk as hell and tell them about the fat chick you tried to pick up -------------------------------------------------------------------- FRIENDS: Hope the night out drinking goes smoothly, and hope that no one is late for the ride home. TEXAS FRIENDS: Know some wild shit will happen, and set up rally points and an E & E route. -----------------------------------------

Texas Friends On Fubar
Where are my Texas friends who are on here? I was just wondering what happened to all of you? I have not been on here as much and I thought I would see how you are all doing? I live here in San Antonio and thought I would just send out a hello to you........ miss you all and yes I miss all my friends but hey I live in Texas and I want to really make some friends from Fubar.

Texas
Where are my Texas friends who are on here? I was just wondering what happened to all of you? I have not been on here as much and I thought I would see how you are all doing? I live here in San Antonio and thought I would just send out a hello to you........ miss you all and yes I miss all my friends but hey I live in Texas and I want to really make some friends from Fubar.

Texas Mother Of Slain Seawall Baby
02:16 AM CST on Wednesday, February 13, 2008 KHOU.com staff report Click on video for an update from 11 News reporter Shern-Min Chow The mother of a baby boy, whose body was found dumped near the Galveston Seawall last month, has been arrested by federal agents in New York. Brazoria County District Attorney Jeri Yenne confirmed to 11 News that Caren Kohberger was arrested by FBI agents Tuesday afternoon. A FBI spokeswoman said Kohberger was arrested after she was released from Bellevue Hospital’s mental ward Tuesday afternoon. She is being held in a New York City jail awaiting extradition back to Texas. Kohberger was wanted on charges that she handed her 3-month-old son over to the man who is accused of stomping the boy to death. Yenne filed endangerment charges against Kohberger last week. 11 NEWS Travis Mullis is charged with capital murder in the beating death of his baby son. The probable cause affidavit for the arrest warrant alleges that Kohberger han

Texas Vs. California
Somebody from California apparently wrote the top part, but somebody from Texas came back and put them on their asses at the bottom. And whoever that was, GOD BLESS YOU and GOD BLESS TEXAS!!! CALIFORNIA: - I can wear sandals all year long - I go to the Beach - not "down to the shore" -Our chicks are WAYYYY hotter than yours. Well...Miami can hang. - I say "like" and "for sure" and "right on" and "dude" and "totally" and "peace out" and "chill" and "tight" and "bro" and I say them often - I know what real cheese & avocados taste like -Everyone smokes weed and its no big deal -We'll roll up 40 deep when something goes down. -I live next door to Mexicans, but we call them American's! -All the porn you watch is made here, cause we're better and thats how it is - I don't get snow days off because theres only snow in Mammoth, Tahoe, Shasta, and Big Bear - I know 65 mph really means 100 - When someone cuts me off, they get the horn and the finger and hig

Texas
TEXAS Have you ever looked at a map of the world? Look at Texas with me just for a second. That picture, with the Panhandle, the Gulf Coast, the Red River, and the Rio Grande, is as much a part of you as anything ever will be. As soon as anyone, anywhere the world over looks at it, they know what it is -TEXAS!! Pick any kid off the street in Japan, and draw him a picture of Texas in the dirt, and he'll know what it is. What happens if I show you a picture of any other state? You might get it, maybe after a second or two, but, even if you do, does it stir those feelings in you? In every man, woman, and child on this planet, there is a person who wishes just once he/she could be a real live Texan, and get up on a horse, or ride off in a pickup. There is a little bit of Texas in everyone. Did you ever hear anyone in a bar say, 'Wow...so you're from Iowa? Cool, tell me about it?' Texas is the Alamo - 183 men standing in a church, facing thousands of Mexican nationals, fighting f

Texas Gurls Do It Better
TEXAS: Ahem... So.. Um.. yeah... I read this, and thought I would reply... Hey... California listen up... Texas is where its at! - I too can wear sandals all year long... plus I can put on boots to stomp your toes and I won't even stick out. - You may be able to go to the "beach" instead of the "shore"... but can you go to the drive thru "Beer Barn?" What now surfer boy? - You're chicks aren't way hotter than ours... they are almost equal... and thats only due to silicone, saline, botox, lasers and hair dye... We have the real ones and they can beat yours up. - We're taught to say "Yes Sir" and "Yes Ma'am" and respect our elders because of it. We also say "Howdy" and "fixin" and "Yall" are pretty much recognized right away anywhere in the world :) We're famous - You may know what real cheese and avocados taste like... but I know what 100% Grade A Angus Beef tastes like. Who wants avocados and cheese when you can have steak and potatoes? - Haha... who do

Texas 2
Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about folks from Texas If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Texas ; If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Texas ; If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Texas ; If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of Dallas for the weekend, you may live in Texas ; If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas ; If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Texas ; If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Texas ; If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Texas ; If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody's passing you, you may live in Texas ; If you find 60 degrees 'a little chill

Texas It Is!
Finally bought my ticket after bitching about the prices. So it is offical. I am moving to Texas. And I'm scared haha. I arrive May 19th. Beware all you southern men! I have a southern accent fetish!!! -Smexi- P.S. Name change. |Laura The Lush| to |Smexi| to get in more in touch with my Mexicaness!

Texas Tornado
This song sounds a lot like what my ex can do. artist: Tracy Lawrence lyrics title: Texas Tornado album: I See It Now You called me up from Amarillo said you were coming to town I thought I'd like to tell you hello and drive and old friend around I pulled up to the airport confident and cool When you stepped off that plane I knew I was your fool My little Texas tornado blowing me away again I swore it wouldn't happen again but I looked at you and then I'm like a tumbleweed in a wild west Texas wind You're blowing me away again You're lying with me in Atlanta it's such a beautiful lie You play me like a piano I always let you get by I know I'll go through hell girl when you find someone else But right now I'm in heaven and I can't help myself My little Texas tornado... [ steel ] I'm like a tumbleweed in a wild west Texas wind You're blowing me away again Texas tornado blowing me away again I swore it wouldn't happen again but I looked at you and then

Texas Woman... Hell Ya!!
Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties. The first man had married a woman from Illinois and Had told her that she was going to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away. The second man had married a woman from Michigan. He had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table. The third man had married a beautiful girl from Texas. He told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything,

Texas Cowboy
A Texas cowboy went to the dentist with a toothache. After an exam, the dentist told the cowboy he had a tooth that had to come out. 'I'm going to give you a shot of Novocain,' the dentist explained, 'and I'll be back in just a few minutes.' The old cowboy grabbed the doc's arm and said, 'No way! I hate needles and I ain't havin' no shot!' The dentist said, 'That's okay, we'll just go with gas instead.' The cowboy replied, 'Gas makes me sick. I ain't havin' no gas either.' Without saying a word, the dentist turned and left the room for a minute and when he came back, he handed the cowboy a glass of water and said 'Here take this pill.' The cowboy looked at the pill and asked, 'What is it?' The dentist replied,' It's Viagra.' The old cowboy looked surprised and asked, 'Will that kill the pain?' 'No,' replied the dentist, 'but it'll give you something to hang on to while I pull that tooth.'

Texas
• A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without first obtaining a special five-dollar permit. • A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed. • Abilene: It is illegal to idle or loiter anyplace within the corporate limits of the city for the purpose of flirting or mashing. • Austin: Wire cutters can not be carried in your pocket. • Beaumont: Collegiate football is banned at Lamar University. • Borger: It is against the law to throw confetti, rubber balls, feather dusters, whips or quirts (riding crop), and explosive firecrackers of any kind. • Clarendon: It is illegal to dust any public building with a feather duster. • Dallas: It's illegal to possess realistic dildos. • El Paso: Churches, hotels, halls of assembly, stores, markets, banking rooms, railroad depots, and saloons are required to provide spittoons "of a kind and number t

Texas
if everything is bigger than in tx then why complain about it??? i'm texas gal 4 life beside so what if everything is bigger at least we have try have better life here but yes lotta crime rate but who cares??? texas is the best and dont mess with texas period!!!!!!!!!!!!! * SIGHS *

Texas Seizure Of Polygamist-sect Kids Thrown Out
By MICHELLE ROBERTS, Associated Press Writer 1 hour, 25 minutes ago .. --> end storyhdr --> SAN ANGELO, Texas - In a ruling that could torpedo the case against the West Texas polygamist sect, a state appeals court Thursday said authorities had no right to seize more than 440 children in a raid on the splinter group's compound last month. The Third Court of Appeals in Austin said the state failed to show the youngsters were in any immediate danger, the only grounds in Texas law for taking children from their parents without court action. It was not clear when the children — now scattered in foster homes across the state — might be returned to their parents. The ruling gave a lower-court judge 10 days to release the youngsters from custody, but the state could appeal to the Texas Supreme Court and block that. The decision in one of the biggest child-custody cases in U.S. history was a humiliating defeat for the state Child Protective Services agency. It was hailed as vin

Texas
well i just got back from TEXAS about a week ago,,,god i hate kansas,,,what a different world it is down there,,,i LOVED it,,,theres always something going on there in houston,,,next time im going down there 4 me,,,none of that FAMILY b-day crap,,,no taking mom down,,,{what a long trip that was},,,next time just me, and a better rental,,,no more minivans,,,im thinking mustang convert or a charger r/t,,,that poor old minivan just couldnt keep up with those crazy texan drivers..give me a real car ill fit right in,,,

Texas Of The West
I love the west Especially Texas The beautiful scenery An some handsome guy's With their Texan drawl Of the cowboy The ladies are gorgeous With their style's Of the cowgirl What drive's me crazy Is the accent From the cowboy's Which is very hott Appealing to weaken For to drop a pin To get a glimpse Of how they are In reality Ladies can bring The guy's in By just showin' They're looks off "Ladies Love Country Boy's" Which is true Author notes Just thinking about how the ladies and gentlemen are like in Texas. I have always wondered since I was young and so I decided to write something out of my writing.

Texas Hold Em Poker Check It Out
THE LAST TIME I TOLD YOU THINGS ARE CHANGED IN THE MILE HIGH CLUB... NOW I TELL YOU ALL ITS DONE GOT NEW MUSIC STATION...SNAKE EYES RADIO....COOL MUSIC HOT DJS ...SEXY OWNER... NEW STAFF ...BUT STILL LOOKING FOR NEW PROMOTERS AND GREETERS... BUT THE BEST PART OF ALL IS WE THE FIRST LOUNGE WHO GET TEXAS HOLDEM POKER... THE WINNER TAKES IT ALL ...THATS OUR MOTTO..9 PLAYERS 1 WINNER INLAY 5000 FUBUCKS ....THATS FOR STARTERS HE HE HE....BUT YOU MUST BE A MEMBERS OF THE MILE HIGH CLUB THATS ALL I ASK FOR....DETAILS ABOUT PLAY AND STUFF ASK FOR IT ... SO WERE YOU WAITING FOR PUSH THAT BANNER BELOW AND ENTER THE MILE HIGH CLUB BE A MEMBER..... Music Video:WHO KNEW (by Pink)Music Video Code provided by Video Code Zone THIS BULLETIN IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY HENNIE AKA SHAUNY32 OWNER OF THE MILE HIGH CLUB

Texascamaronut Lost His Grandson
This Loving and Adoring Grandfather... Texas Camaro Nut ©@ fubar ...lost his Brand New Baby Grandson last night! Baby Trace passed through the gates of Heaven while sleeping last night. Trace was born April 7, 2008. He had a beautiful Momma and an Amazing Granddaddy! Please send your love and support to Dave...Texas Camaro Nut...during this time of sorrow. This bulletin brought to you with Love and Respect from Sin: ^sin^@ fubar and Tarnishedhalo via Tulsa's Angel and Created with Love and Respect by PebblesinAZ: PebblesinAZ@ fubar (repost of original by '^sin^♥R/L fiance to blindside69♥FU lover to Mémoire♥' on '2008-06-05

Texas
Have you ever looked at a map of the world? Look at Texas with me just for a second. That picture, with the Panhandle and the Gulf Coast , and the Red River and the Rio Grande is as much a part of you as anything ever will be. As soon as anyone anywhere in the world looks at it they know what it is. It's Texas. Pick any kid off the street in Japan and draw him a picture of Texas in the dirt and he'll know what it is. What happens if I show you a picture of any other state? You might get it maybe after a second or two, but who else would? And even if you do, does it ever stir any feelings in you? In every man, woman and child on this planet, there is a person who wishes just once he could be a real live Texan and get up on a horse or ride off in a pickup. There is a little bit of Texas in everyone. Did you ever hear anyone in a bar go, 'Wow...so you're from Iowa ? Cool, tell me about it?' Do you know why? Because no one gives a darn about Iowa .' Texas is the Alamo . Texas

Texas
Well I made it! It was a long ride especially with a baby with me but I am here! It's hott (prolly jus cuz I am here now....I mean there is no way Texas was this hot before I got here...lol) I mean it hasn't even been a full 48 hours yet but so far its great! Meet some of the neighbors and their kids. They are great and Alex likes the kids. We have 4 dogs and a cat here(cat is in hiding lol) so gotta get the baby used to it so he with stop chases them lol. Also I have a Bf now (YAY!) :D. My Master of Desires! I love you. I was started to worry I might lose him but not anymore. I love ya babe! Again to all my other friends I miss ya and hugz n kisses to you all. Muahz!! Don't forget me... Love, Kiri

Texas
Things Ive learnt living in Texas 1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road. 2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Texas . 3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Texas . 4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha. 5. 'Onced' and 'Twiced' are words. 6. It is not a shopping cart, it's a buggy. 7. 'Jaw-P?' means, 'Did y'all go to the bathroom? 8. People actually grow and eat okra. 9. 'Fixinto' is one word. 10. There is no such thing as 'lunch.' There is only dinner and then there is supper. 11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. 12. Backwards and forwards means, 'I know everything about you.' 13. The word 'jeet' is actually a phrase meaning, 'Did you eat?' 14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too d

Texas Twister
this person leveled my sweet arakrune and for this she has been blinged, and i want everybody F/A/R 10 rates and a page comment that cuffed desire sent them ~â™¥~TEXAS TWISTER~â™¥~CLUB UNITEDâ™¥ Owned by SixtyNineMunch@ fubar message me when you are done to be added to my pimp out and get gifts

Texas Music Mania's Ever Growing Dj Family!! :d
Click on above banner and come on in to the Texas Music Mania for a whole new experience!! :D NOTE: Prizes for every new member that joins!! Hiring all staff!!! Let me know if you are interested! Created by DJ Devine ~Owner @ Texas Music Mania~FuLuv Bomb Squad Asst Officer~ All 4 Drama Free Zones ~

Texas Music Mania & Texas Sound Bytes!!
Yep, DJ Man said that he would like to be a sponsor/supporter of Texas Music Mania after we got done with a gig at a club in Canyon Lake. It was my very first time in DJing live at any function and I was happy to have the experience. I was soooo jittery about helping with the gig because I had the comfort of DJing from home without many eyes on me. But once I got there, it wasn't half of the issues that I anticipated. Just being myself and having fun taking requests from folks that came up to the DJ booth area. I had a blast and hope to do that more again soon sometime; however, would love to add the equipment to simulcast live to the Texas Music Mania lounge. That would be awesome... :) We'll see. First, I need to get a laptop that I can get it to set up with... we'll see. One step at a time!!!! :D

Texas Deputy Sheriff Vs New York Lawyer
Only in Texas my friends... Only in Texas ..... Too bad...... A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education then any cop from Texas. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Texas deputy' s expense. The deputy says,' License and registration, please.' What for?' says the lawyer. The deputy says, 'You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign.' Then the lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming.' 'You still didn't come to a complete stop, Says the deputy. License and registration, please.' The lawyer says, 'What's the difference?' 'The difference is you have to come to complete stop, that's the law License and registration, please!' the Deputy says. Lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and

Texas Is Sexually Libarator
After years of continuous bans of adult products that 'enhance' our sexual woes and needs Texas' 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals said NO to the Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott. Seems he is quite against the pleasures of the flesh and has made it his first case priority to appeal the life of 'obscene' toys to be sold or possessed in the State of Texas. Seems to me that Texas is one state that needs to let loose and enjoy the sexual escapades of a normal human being. Of course, in my opinion, they have gotten a bit too loose with the idea that sex with minors is 'ok!" After watching the state of Texas return custody of 400 some odd children to the Mormon Fundamentalists just over a month ago after finding a "consummating" bed in the Holy Temple... do you all see the hypocracy? Sex toys that run on batteries or even plug into wall...or not at all, or the idea that Middle Aged men are seducing and raping minors and getting away with it for it to happen again? I remember watch

Texas Air Traffic Control . . .
TEXAS AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL Dallas ATC: "Tower to Saudi Air 911--You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R." Saudi Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R --Allah be Praised !!" Dallas ATC: "Tower to Iran Air 711--You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R." Iran Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R.- -Allah is Great !!" Pause: Static............. Saudi Air: " DALLAS ATC ! DALLAS ATC !!! " Dallas ATC: "Go ahead Saudi Air 911?" Saudi Air: "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS !!! WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE !!! INSTRUCTIONS PLEASE!!! Dallas ATC: "Well bless your hearts. Y'all be careful now and tell Allah 'hey' for us -- ya hear?

Texas Sheriff Vs. New York Lawyer
TEXAS DEPUTY SHERIFF VS. NEW YORK LAWYER Only in Texas my friends... Only in Texas ..... Too bad...... A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education then any cop fromTexas. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Texas deputy's expense. The deputy says, 'License and registration, please.' 'What for?' says the lawyer. The deputy says, 'You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign.' Then the lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming.' 'You still didn't come to a complete stop,' Says the deputy. 'License and registration, please.' The lawyer says, 'What's the difference?' 'The difference is you have to come to complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!' the Deputy says. Lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference between slow down an

Texas People In General
I've lived in Texas since October of 2006. When I first moved down here from New York, I lived in Plano for six months. I now live in Allen, and I have realized that things are the same: people are not friendly. In the bar I go to, I'm getting recommendations from people to start going to Starbucks. I realize I don't get along with people down here. Maybe the issue is that my mindset is still the "Yankee" one... so when I don't get to talk to anyone nearby, that's probably it. I've never been able to adapt to the Southern way of life, so as time goes by, I realize I don't belong here. Tonight, some silly bitch chick from Euless gave me the whole "Yankee" talk, telling me that I "whine and cry" about not getting conversation down here. Well, maybe that's the case, but I'm sure that blowing me off and generally treating me like garbage isn't the solution. So, after all that was said and done, I wound up placing her on ignore on Yahoo (just as well), and now I'm right back where

Texas Food Cards Won't Work In Louisiana
Texas food cards won't work in Louisiana 01:07 PM CDT on Thursday, September 18, 2008 Associated Press BATON ROUGE, La.—Louisiana’s Department of Social Services says Louisiana residents who got hurricane food stamps in Texas and Texas food stamp recipients who evacuated to Louisiana need to exchange their food stamp cards. The department says that can be done at a clinic for the “Women, Infants and Children” program. The department says the Texas cards won’t work in Louisiana, and stores should refer anyone trying to use those cards to the local clinic for the “WIC” program. It says that the state of Texas should have issued a verification card to Louisiana food stamp recipients when they got the Texas cards—and people need to bring that verification card, too. Anyone with questions can call the Partners for Healthy Babies phone line at 1-800-251-2229. This only applies to food stamp recipients who evacuated to Louisiana.

Texas Rangers
A man, having applied to join the Texas Rangers , is being interviewed. The Chief says, 'Your qualifications are first-class but there is one test that you must pass before I can recruit you.' Sliding a small bag across the desk, he continues, 'Take this gun with 13 bullets, and go out and shoot six illegal immigrants, six Obama delegates and a rabbit.' The man asks, 'Why the rabbit?' 'Fantastic attitude!' says the Chief, 'When can you start?'