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syn's blog: "Dumb Laws"

created on 05/14/2008  |  http://fubar.com/dumb-laws/b215637

Texas

• A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without first obtaining a special five-dollar permit. • A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed. • Abilene: It is illegal to idle or loiter anyplace within the corporate limits of the city for the purpose of flirting or mashing. • Austin: Wire cutters can not be carried in your pocket. • Beaumont: Collegiate football is banned at Lamar University. • Borger: It is against the law to throw confetti, rubber balls, feather dusters, whips or quirts (riding crop), and explosive firecrackers of any kind. • Clarendon: It is illegal to dust any public building with a feather duster. • Dallas: It's illegal to possess realistic dildos. • El Paso: Churches, hotels, halls of assembly, stores, markets, banking rooms, railroad depots, and saloons are required to provide spittoons "of a kind and number to efficiently contain expectorations into them." • Galveston: It is illegal to drive a motor car down Broadway before noon on Sundays. • Houston: Beer may not be purchased after midnight on a Sunday, but it may be purchased on Monday. It is illegal to sell Limburger cheese on Sunday. • If two trains going in opposite directions on the same track meet each other, one can't move until the other does. • If you went to church in Texas years back, you'd better be recognized. An old law made it illegal to go to church in disguise. • In Alamo a person found intoxicated must be given a large dose of castor oil by a local doctor...and failure to gulp it down will result in a fine. • In Corpus Christie it is illegal to raise alligators in your home. • In Dallas County it is illegal to own any realistic looking, phallic shaped, personal massager more than one foot in length. • In Houston you cannot buy beer after midnight on Sunday, but you can buy it on Monday. • In Kingsville, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property. • In Lefors, Texas it is illegal to take more than three swallows of beer at any time while standing. • In Mesquite, Texas it is illegal for kids to have unusual haircuts. • In Texas criminals are required to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed. • In Texas it's legal for a chicken to have sex with you, but it's illegal to reciprocate. • It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel. • It is illegal to carry a pair of wire-cutters in your back pocket. • It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don't need a windshield, but you must have the wipers. • It is illegal for a person to shoot a buffalo from the second story of their hotel. • It is illegal to have an open container in a car. • It is illegal to have anything protruding from your bumper unless it is attached with a chain • It is illegal to milk another person's cow. • It is illegal to spit on the sidewalk. • It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing. • It is illegal to urinate on the Alamo. • It is legal for a husband to beat his wife as long as he uses something no bigger than his thumb. • It is legal for the blind to go hunting as long as they have someone with them who isn't blind. • It is legal to commit a homicide as long as you tell the person when, and how you are going to kill them. • It is Texas law that when two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone. • In San Antonio, Texas, you can't honk a horn, run a generator, have a revival meeting or do anything else that disturbs the neighborhood and the city has a four-member noise police squad to enforce the law. • In Texas any artificial constructed underwater barrier reefs must come with an instruction booklet. • In Texas, sixteen-year old divorced girls are prohibited from talking about sex during high school extracurricular activities. • It is unlawful for a person to consume an alcoholic beverage while operating a motor vehicle upon a public roadway, if the person is observed doing so by a peace officer. • Jasper: Dogs must be on a leash at ALL times. Fine of 100 dollars. • LeFors: It is illegal to take more than three swallows of beer while standing. • Lubbock County: It is illegal to drive within an arm's length of alcohol - including alcohol in someone else's blood stream. • Mesquite: It is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts. • Port Arthur: Obnoxious odors may not be emitted while in an elevator. • Richardson: It is now illegal to place a "for sale" sign on a car if it visible from the street. It is illegal to do "U Turns". • San Antonio: It is illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation using the eyes and/or hands. • Temple: No one may ride a horse and buggy through the town square. You can ride your horse in the saloon. Cattle thieves may be hanged on the spot. • Texarkana: Owners of horses may not ride them at night without tail lights. • Texas law forbids anyone to have a pair of pliers in his possession. • Texas state law prohibits taking more than three sips of beer at a time while standing. • The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home. • There is an old law in Texas that states you are unable to tuck your pants into one boot unless you own ten or more cattle. • When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone. • You can be legally married by publicly introducing a person as your husband or wife 3 times.
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