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Funny....
Yo motherfucker What the fuck you lookin at? Yo, get out my motherfuckin face right now Yo man, trip this I was out on the ave man This nigga lookin at me wrong So I pulled out my motherfuckin nine And I SMOKED HIS ASS Woke up, didn't choke up Saw my AK, it was broke up Put it together like a jigsaw Got my nine, and my Rambo knife off the floor Went to the bathroom, and beat the rush Yo, who the fuck used my toothbrush? Went to my sister's room, yo bitch, wake up You stupid ass, dirty ass, nasty ass slut Shot her in the leg, shot her in the thigh Kick her in the pussy and punched her in the eye Slapped her in the head, stepped on her corns Don't fuck with mine bitch, word is born Went downstairs to eat wit my folks Ma, you broke my fuckin egg yoke! Punch her in the chest, cut on her cheek Then I did a sweep, knocked the bitch off her feet Knee to the pussy, kick to the skull AK yo I shot the bitch in the temple Pops got mad cause mom got licked I didn't g
Funnies
To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine... and those who don't. As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop. However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting. Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health. Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit. There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a p
Funny Shit
Bitch Where's My Change ANGRY BLACK MAN - This Video Will Make U Say WHAT THE FUCK! Dis Nigga Just Touched My Dick! Frisking cop gets a bit too frisky!!
Funny
Sad News Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions. Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough
Funny
Short Poems about Life Some might argue that short poems about life is not a very helpful title. In essence, this is selection of Paul Curtis' short funny poems about family and domestic life, but omitting poems about love, death or sex, which are dealt with elsewhere. I Need It Up, You Need It Down She cook’s and cleans And keep’s things neat And with five in the house That’s no mean feat There’s just one question Though that has me beat Tell me why can she never Work the toilet seat Does My Bum Look Big In This? Does my bum look big in this? Well is the answer no or yes Actually you have a big bum So stop blaming it on the dress Lucky Lotto Despite winning twenty million pound My feet are still firmly on the ground So I am the same despite my good news But I am wearing much better shoes Display Caution We keep a picture of Auntie Grace On the shelf above the fire place Health and safety is our only desire As it keeps the kids away from the fire A T
Funnyies
Husband Store A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: scroll down You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. Th e shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. 'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.' So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking. 'Wow,' she thinks, but fee
Funny Ideas!
Just a reminder to all people out there that you need to shave your private regions in the next month or so cause BUSH is out!!
Funny Stuff
Funnies
This is a Seinfeld piece on trick or treating with a spin to it. It will bring a smile to your face, guaranteed. Especially for those Superman fans. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6Rs_yJU9JI -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1.Don’t swim in the ocean. Ninety-nine percent of all shark attacks take place in exceptionally large bodies of water also known as oceans. The way to determine if you are currently in an ocean is to taste the water, which should be salty. 2.Listen out for the music. In the event that you are foolish enough to swim in an ocean, listen carefully for the music, as demonstrated in the marvelous documentary film Jaws. All shark attacks are preceded by the "daah-da, daah-da" chords, which will gradually become more rapid as the shark gets closer. This is due to the Doppler Effect. 3.Swim with fat people. Try to surround yourself with more appetizing companions. If you know them well, you m
Funny
PRESS PLAY,LOL
Funny
Okay, this should be a blast! Let's see how many people we can get to play. The name of the game is, "Penis" and that says it all. All you have to do is leave a comment. Take the name of a movie and replace one of the words with the word PENIS. Don't forget to put your name on it - then we can all see how perverted our friends are. NO REPEATS!!! I'll start... Kim- The Truth About Cats and Penis (Dogs)
Funny
If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something. When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil. It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man. At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But then I thought, if a patient said, "How's my back tooth?" and you just looked at it with your X-ray vision and said, "Oh it's okay," then the patient would probably say, "Aren't you going to take an X-ray, stupid?" and you'd say, "Aw fuck you, get outta here," and then he probably wouldn't even pay his bill. One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down.
Funny Stories
A lot of fun has been poked about my attire, and of course that doesn't bother me at all; I wouldn't upload pics of myself in flowered swim trunks and boots if I didn't want to make you giggle. But sometimes I fuck up without realizing it. A couple of weeks ago, I got off work at 7am and went downstairs to get changed into my gym clothes. When I put my shorts on, it just did not seem right. They seemed a little small, a little short. Definitely came up too high on the sides. But I just adjusted them (dang they're small in the crotch too like they're riding up and squeezing my junk) and went on down to the gym. Definitely felt small on me, but I could not figure out why. I'd worn them before right? Just my imagination I guess. In the middle of my workout, smart-ass co-worker Dereck walks past me and says "Daggone John go put some clothes on!". I gave him a stern angry look and continued my workout. I went home when I finished and took the shorts off. They said "Small". What the fuck?
(10 Fun New Ways I Came Up With To Kiss Your Date Enjoy)
Funny
Bulletin: If We Had Sex....GAME. don't be scared. you never know who really wants to do you! (Reply so only I see it and Repost so others can fill it out). 1. Would you be in control? 2. Would you whisper in my ear? 3. Would you kiss me with a little tongue or a lot of tongue? 4. Would you say my name? 5. Would le me go down on you? 6. Would you let me give you a hickie? 7. How many rounds would we go? 8. What would you wanna do afterwards? 9. Would you take off all your clothes then take mine off slowly? 10. Would you lick and bite me all over? 11. Would you like to play or get straight to the point? 12. Would you want me to take my time? 13. Would you want me to go fast or slow? 14. Where would you wanna "do it"? 15. Would you be loud or quiet? 16. Would you mind if i licked you? 17. Would you do it today? 18. Would you do it tomorrow? 19. Would you call me in the morning? 20. What is your favorite position? 21. What is off limits? 22. What
Funnies
NINE WORDS WOMEN USE (1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. (2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. (3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. (4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! (5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.) (6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how
Funny Sayings
I get enough exercise pushing my luck. Auntie Em- Hate you, hate Kansas, taking dog. Dorothy If you don’t like the news, go out and make your own. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep Guns don’t kill people… but they make it real easy. I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather … Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated. Born free… taxed to death. The more people I meet, the more I like my dog. Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them. Funny Sayings Part 3 A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. There’s too much blood in my alcohol system. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship. If you can read this, I’ve lost my trailer. You’re just jealous because the voices
Funny
> COMPUTER HELP DESK > > This has got to be one of the funniest I've heard of in a long >time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline which was transcribed from a > recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to >say, the Help Desk employee was fired however, he is currently suing the > WordPerfect organization for "Termination without cause." This is >the actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee >(now I know why they record these conversations) > > Employee_.r{}--"Rich Hall computer assistance; may I help you?".r{}**/--".r{}**--"What sort of trouble?"* > > Customer_.r{}*--"*Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden >the > words went away." > > Employee_.r{}*--*"*Went away?"* > > Customer_.r{}*--"*They disappeared." > > Employee_.r{}*--"Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?"* > > Customer_.r{}*--"*Nothing." > > Employee_.r{}*--"Noth
Funnies
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Funny In Flight Announcements
1. "As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses." 2. "Last one off the plane must clean it." 3. After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride." 4. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. Whoa!" 5. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted." 6. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbe
Funnies
1. Talk about a huge breast! 2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist. 3. It's Cool Whip time! 4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst! 5. Whew, that's one terrific spread! 6. I'm in the mood for dark meat. 7. Are you ready for seconds yet? 8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it? 9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some. 10. Don't play with your meat. 11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in. 12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once? 13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once! 14. You still have a little bit on your chin. 15. How long will it take after you stick it in? 16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up. 17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that! 18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen! 19. How long do I beat it before it's ready? Happy Thanksgiving
Funny
One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said 'Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter' I might never get another chance.'   To this, Esther replides, 'Morris that helicopther right is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'   The piolt overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride.  If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I wont charge you a penny! But you you say one word it's fifty dollars. Morris and Esther agreed and they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.   he did his daredevil tricks over and over again, But still not a word.  When they landed. the pilot turned to Morris and said. 'By golly , I did everything I could to get you to yell out but you didn't. I'm impressed!' Morris replied, 'Well to tell you the truth,I almost said something when Esther fell out, But you know' Fifty dollars is fifty dollars!    PREGNANT T
Funny
Funny
A Funny :d
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.' Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to.....' 'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.' 'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?' 'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat'. After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?' 'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there' 'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn'
Funny Shit
Funny I Love It Thanks Trendy
To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice! 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana. 6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get. 7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'. 9. Sing Along At The Opera. 10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache. 11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!' 12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For
Funny As Hell President Bush Video
Funny Shit
===== pick the MONTH that you were born & color of your eyes and put it on the SUBJECT LINE. Then re-post it AS YOUR OWN BULLETIN. Your friends might understand you better... -----------blue eyes---------- people with blue eyes are very attractive, adorable, loves to make new friends. will do anything for that special person. kind, and polite. can make anyone laugh or cheer them up. loves to please the one they care or love for, repost this if you have blue eyes, and you will find the one that you are meant to be with within the next 7 days. -------brown eyes------- people with brown eyes last the longest in relationships. they are very satisfying and love to please and can EXCEED your pleasure standards. if you repost this and you have brown eyes you will have the best kiss sometime in the next 5 days. --------green eyes---------- people with green eyes have the most passion put into relationships, they have long lasting relationships. you will meet the
Funny
Funni..no=p?
http://video.yahoo.com/watch/1197846/4274384 Dear Love, I Dont Really Know How To Tell You This, But Im Joining The Covent.I Think I Realized It Last Year When You Peed Your Pants In Your Car, And I Saw You Sit On The Catholic Priest.Im Sure Youre Open Enough To Understand That Santa Doesnt Exist.Im Returning Youre Toe Ring, But I'll Keep Your Collection Of Butterflies As A Memory.You Should Also Know That I Get Sick When I Think Of Your Feet And im Off To Lead A New Life-As-A-LEMON! Please Dont Hurt Me, Chasity;) How to play: Dear (a friend's name from your top friends), I don't really know how to tell you this, (1). I think I realized it (2) (3) and I saw you (4) (5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8), but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11). (12), (Your Name) 1) What's the color of your shirt? Blue - I'm in love with your cat Red - Our affair is over White - I’m joining the Convent
Funny Stuff
California vs. Texas California :   Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks dog. #1. Governor starts to intervene, reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing what is natural. #2. Governor calls animal control. Animal control captures coyote and spends $200 testing it for diseases and $500 upon relocating it. #3. Then he calls veterinarian. Vet collects dead dog and spends $200 testing it for diseases. #4. Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting bite wound bandaged. #5. Running trail gets shut down for 6 months while wildlife services conduct a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is clear of dangerous animals. #6. Governor spends $50,000 of state funds implementing a "coyote awareness" program for residents of the area. #7. State legislature spends $2 million investigating how to better handle rab
Funny Things I Noticed
Ok, I have heard enough small peeps want the word midget banned from TV!  I think the world is going to far with this non-sense. Here is my reply to all this non-sense. I am half Irish call me a Mck pronounced Mik, I am also 1/2 Italian so I guess that makes me a ginny. I also a little over weight so call me fat, I wear glasses at work so I am a Geek, damn monitors kill my eyes, I like country music, the outdoors boating and fishing so I am a Hick. Put all this togeather and you have me, I am not defined by my height, color, weight, ancestors birthplace or what I like. I am what God made me a human being. We all come in different shapes, sizes and color so small people of the world get over yourselves you are only victim of prejudice if you allow yourself to be. I will continue to use the "midget" when I see fit. It's a word and only a word! As the new year approaches quickly I would like to share some observations I made this year and in the past. 1) Keeping money in a matt
Funny
Only a person in Texas could think of this. From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story. Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Austin, Texas after last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off--it was a fine, dry summer night--,flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left. At last, whe
Funny But True
Funny Vids
Funny Notttttttttttttttt
At work With other people At times On the outside I look fine I seem fine I feel pretty good I have a positive attitude... But inside, alone, I carry dark & heavy thoughts -- fleeting thoughts of suicide. The words cannot convey, the feelings, the pain Somehow I ignore them -- for a while, perhaps -- a long while, all day, or many days -- figure it will go away -- ignore It's automatically not even recognized mentally. I go back forcing myself forcing day to day, week to week, contact with people and life My sorrow is hidden, My anguish contained. I push forward; I feel like dying. I tell no one. No one knows how I feel.. It ain't no point to me waking up, everybody's time I'm taking up, I got nobody, it ain't a shoulder near, I can't stay here and it's colder there, I don't wanna look back cause it's gonna hurt, I slice my wrist and it's gonna squirt, For me everybody holds a hate, I got backstabbed and everybody holds the stake, it's
Funny Comments Or Thoughts.
Never tell your problems to anyone.......20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them Its hard to hold on to something that you know would never be yours in any way you think of, you just have to learn to let go and face the fact that while good things never last…some don’t even start…..” I'm surrounded by fake smiles and false promises.Why must they pretend to be nice when they're not?
Funny
I THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS... A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?" To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids." Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery??" She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher". > The Husband Store > > A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at > the entrance is a description of how the store operates: > > > You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shop
Funnies And Stoof
Funny
Funny Stuff
~*~FILL THIS OUT TO APPLY TO BE MY LOVER~*~ *You* Name: Age: Birth Date: Height: Weight: Muscular or Scronny?: *What You Think About Me* Whats the most attractive thing on my body?: Am i good looking?: On a scale of 1-10 what would u rank me?: Do u wanna kiss me?: Do u wanna have sex?: Would u ever go out with me?: Would u ever cheat on me?: Have you ever cheated on anyone?: Have u ever helped anyone cheat?: What do u like most about me?: *More about You* Whats your favorite color?: Chevy or Ford?: What stores do u shop at?: Do u like Abercrombie?: What kind of Music do u like?: Whats your longest relationship?: Why'd it end?: Would u get me presents randomly?: Would u love me?: Do you like me b/c Im beautiful or am I beautiful b/c u like me?: Would you ever surprise me just so u could see me?: What kind of car do u drive?: Are u a flirt?: Do u get jealous easily?: If I flirted with another guy, what would u do?: If any guy
Funny Shit!!!!!
The Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story. We always hear ' the rules ' From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered '1 ' ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said
Funny Nsfw
'Hello?' 'Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?' 'No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.' After a brief pause, Daddy says, 'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.' 'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, Right now.' Brief Pause. 'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.' 'Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.' A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone. 'I did it, Daddy.' 'And what happened, honey?' He asked. 'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed With no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser. And now she isn't moving at all!' 'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?' 'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back wi
Funny Chit
Funny Jokes I Was Told
Funny ....
To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine... and those who don't. As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. Come on over to our cottage for a glass any time, to prove and debate this topic. In a number of carefully controlled trials, however, scientists have already demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria found in feces.. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.. However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting. Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health. Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.. There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it a
Funny Shit.............
When I look into your eyes I can see a love restrained But darling when I hold you Don't you know I feel the same 'Cause nothing lasts forever And we both know hearts can change And it's hard to hold a candle In the cold November rain We've been through this such a long, long time Just trying to kill the pain But lovers always come and lovers always go An no one's really sure who's letting go today Walking away If we could take the time To lay it on the line I could rest my head Just knowing that you were mine All mine So if you want to love me Then darling don't refrain Or I'll just end up walking In the cold November rain Do you need some time... on your own Do you need some time... all alone Everybody needs some time... on their own Don't you know you need some time... all alone I know it's hard to keep an open heart When even friends seem out to harm you But if you could heal a broken heart Wouldn't time be out to charm you Sometimes I
Funny Stuff
I found this on Photobucket. Some people just don't know where to draw the line. I won't use any names so as not to seemingly attack anyone. This is a voicemail that someone (we'll call them "The Stalker") left for someone else (we'll call them "The Stalked") when their friend (we'll call them "The Commentor")left a comment on their page and "The Stalker" didn't like it.
Funny Stuff
Funny
A SMALL BOY WOKE UP 3 NIGHTS IN A ROW WHEN HE HEARS A THUMPING SOUND COMING FROM HIS PARENTS BEDROOM. FINALLY ONE MORNING HE WENT TO HIS MOTHER AND AND SAID "MOTHER EVERY NIGHT I HEAR U AND DADDY MAKIN NOISE AND WHEN I LOOK IN UR ALWAYS BOUNCING UP AND DOWN ON HIM". HIS MOTHER REPLIED "OH WELL IM BOUNCING ON DADDYS STOMACH BECAUSE HE IS FAT AND IT HELPS HIM GET THIN AGAIN" THAT WONT WORK REPLIED THE BOY WHY NOT THE MOTHER ASKED BECAUSE THE LADY NEXT DOOR COMES OVER AFTER U LEAVE AND BLOWS HIM UP AGAIN
Funn Stuff
Q. What do you call it when someone farts in a gay bar? A. A love call. Q. How do you give a blind queer a thrill? A. Leave the plunger in the toilet. Q. How do lesbians handle their liquor? A. By the ears. (Lick her) Q. What do tight pants and a cheap motel have in common? A. No ball room Q. What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? A. Doughnuts. Q. What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together? A. 100 people who don't do dick. Q. What's the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before he leaves the factory? A. Two test tickles Q. Why did God create alcohol? A. So ugly people would have a chance to have sex. Q. What's the speed limit of sex? A. 68 because at 69 you have to turn around. Q. What's the ultimate rejection? A. When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep. bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb
Funny Shyte
Funny
Sexy Comments & Profile Graphics
Funnys.
For those of you that watch American Idol, Vote for Matty G.!!! He went to H.S. With me and hes awesome and totally deserves to win. Dont you think this is the funniest shit alive?
Funny Stuff.
A chicken farmer went to a local bar.... Sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne..The woman perks up and says, 'How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!''What a coincidence' the farmer says. 'This is a special day for me.... I am celebrating''This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating!' says the woman.'What a coincidence!' says the farmer! As they clinked glasses the man asked, 'What are you celebrating?''My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynaecologist told me that I am pregnant!''What a coincidence,' says the man. 'I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.''That's great!' says the woman. 'How did your chickens become fertile?''I used a different cock,' he replied.The woman smiled and said, 'What a coincidence.' A  man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no  legs.Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the  poor ma
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if you want a good laugh check out this site. http://www.fmylife.com/
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SING IT GIRLS!!! OUT LOUD At first I was afraid, I was petrified. When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died! But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long, That I grew strong, and I knew that I could take you on... But there you are, another lie, I was ready for a Big Mac and you've brought me a French fry! I should have known that it was bulls***t, just a sad pathetic dream Should have known there was no Anaconda lurking in those Jeans! Go on now-go! , Walk out the door, Don't you promise me 10 inches, then turn up with only 4! Weren't you a brat to think I wouldn't find you out!? Don't you know we're only joking when we say size don't count??!! [Chorus] I will survive! I will survive! Cuz as long as I have batteries, My sex life's gonna thrive! I will always have good sex, With a handful of latex! I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey! It took all my self control not to laugh out loud, When I saw your little weiner standin
The Funniest Shit
>>"Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?" "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." >>"What sort of trouble?" "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." >>"Went away?" "They disappeared." >>"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing." >>"Nothing?" "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." >>"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" "How do I tell?" >>"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" "What's a sea-prompt?" >>"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?" "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type." >>"Does your monitor have a power indicator?" "What's a monitor?" >>"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?" "I don't know." >>"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that
Funny Stuff
So i go onto this site to see what my celebrity look a like is and the first one i match for is Jessica Simpson the morph is bad so i try to load another picture and it turns out thatg i look like Kristin Davis... take a look and tell me what you think. MyHeritage: Celebrity Morph - Free genealogy - Geneology
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The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life. One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued, 'What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?' He reminded the other dinner guests what they say about teachers: 'Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.' To emphasize his point he said to another guest; 'You're a teacher, Bonnie. Be honest. What do you make?' Bonnie, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness replied, 'You want to know what I make? (She paused for a second, then began...) 'Well, I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could. I make a C+ feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor. I make kids sit through 40 minutes of class time when their parents can't make them sit for 5 without an I Pod, Game Cube or movie rental. "You want to know what I make." (She paused again and looked at each and every person at the ta
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A husband tattooed "I luv u" on his equipment and his wife said "there you go putting words in my mouth again" The perfect Fairy Tale: Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles, and went fishing and hunting, and played golf a lot and drank bee...r and scotch, and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up, and farted whenever he wanted. The end
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One of my secret past times is being a nudist. I look on several newsgroups and such to research locations. What I find is funny is how these places are filled with guys showing off the fact they have dicks smaller then mine most times. very few women are on these boards , I guess they do not care to see out of shape guys without cocks
Funny Shyt
What were they thinking when they passed these??? Alabama- It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. Alaska- It is concidered an offence to push a live moose out of a moving airplane. Arizona- Hunting Camels is prohibited and donkeys can not sleep in bathtubs. Arkansas- Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs. California- No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 mph. Colorado- Throwing Missles at cars is illegal. Connecticut- In order for a pickle to be concidered a pickle, it must bounce. Delaware- Alcohol may not be served in the same nightclub if dancing is occuring on the premises at the sametime. Florida- Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal. Georgia- It is illegal to use profanity infront of a dead body which lies in a funeral home or coroners office. Hawaii- Coins are not allowed to be placed in one's ear. Idaho- It is illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than 50lbs. Illinois- The E
Funny Stuff
European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced wi th "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
Funny!!!
Nursing Home SafetyEthel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic the other residents tolerated her and some of them actually joined in.One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and  Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched.   "STOP!," he shouted in a firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?" Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. "OK" he said and away Ethel sped down the hall.As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Harold popped out in front of her and shouted "STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?" Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said "On your way, Ma'am.
Funny Stuff From Me To You .. Not For The Squeemish
this is from one of my buds  -- i died on the floor laughing loll  Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety. WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded 2 AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.?? AWESOME!!!? Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave! Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking
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Isn't it funny how a guy who doesnt even know me ask me do i like to suck dick... well sure I like to suck dick do u like to eat my pussy well I have standards and for you to come out like that before i even add u as my friend well uhh lets think that is why u did not get added Have some damn Respect I am just your average Irish Babe and dont need no pervert on my page.... I have naughty pics for the real men that respect me as a human bein and for the record I love to suck dick for them man that loves me and there is only one that can Love a Bytch such as Myself ~ Irish
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There are 365 Birthdays. Out of all of the billions of people who live in the world, there has got to be somebody born on each day of the year. We're going to try to accomplish the task of seeing if we can fill the calendar up with a birthday on every day of the year.Add your name next to your birthdate and lets see if we can do it!!! (Hey and don't delete any one) Copy and paste and make a new bulletin! ! ! ! ! ! ! !January 1-Dustin Engler!!!January 2 -January 3 -January 4 -January 5 -January 6 -Courtney BryantJanuary 7 -Ricky "Dunn Dunn"January 8 -January 9 -January 10-January 11-January 12 -January 13 -Judge D.January 14 -Samantha marie KlossJanuary 15 -autumn nicole pateee(:
Funny Stuff
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.. "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the tab
Funny Crap At Walmart
Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at Wal-Mart,  for my dog Tosha. I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think, that I had an elephant?  Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't  have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I  probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time. On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive  care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IVs in both arms.   I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that  it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally  complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that  practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.)  Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog 
Funny Shit....caution!!!!
Funny Story
 The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the  first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'   'Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.'   'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'   'Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'      A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to  himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.       The elderly couple walk s haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks.  Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the  old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old m
Funny I Guess
glitter-graphics.com
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Funnies....=)
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Always start your day with a lot of… S E X S - SMILEE - ENERGYX - XCITEMENT so make S E X a daily habit, and youll always B SUCC SEX FUL! in LIFE. She came at night, explored my body, got on top of me, touched me, she bit, sucked, swalowd, when she was satisfied,she left, i was hurt..     funck bloody mosquito   haha It’s the thing that satisfies ur mind, body & soul Do it on bed, on a sofa, in the car or anywhere!             It’s called Prayer!             God bless ur naughty mind
Funny Redneck Wanna Be
i was driven down the road to go pick up my daughter and was about to turn onto another road that i usally take butttt   there was a truck siting there with it hazerds on  hmmm well i kept looking and saw that it was missing a tire opps  lol so turned on my stobes and pulled right behind them... i got out and went over to find out what happen ok there was people rolling his tire back up the road to him  omg  lol ok i told them i had a jack and i was there to help ok  i went and got the jack had to jack up a lil then set it back down on a  brick so i could move the jack to make it go higher ok next thing i notice theres cops pulling up and asken what happen... we told them and there were like ok  ... the guy that was broke down was a redneck guy  ok im not pickn but we rednecks know about our trucks and 4-wheeling and stuff lol thats what we do  lol  but when i asked for him to help put the tire on he knew nothen omg  ok i asked about a 4 way lug wrench he knew nothen of it either omg 
Funnies
Everyone who has a dog calls him rover or boy, I call mine sex.  Now sex has been very embarrassing to me. Last night sex ran off again.  I spent several hours looking for him.  A cop came over to me and asked "What are you doing in this alley at 4:00am in the morning"?  I said I was looking for sex....my court case comes up monday morning.   When I went to City Hall to renew his dog license I told the clerk I would liek to have a license for sex.  He said "I'd like to have one too."  Then I said "but this is a dog".  He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said "you dont understand.....I've had sex since I wasnine years old".  He said I must have been quite a kid.   When I decided to get married, I told the minister I wanted to have sex at the wedding.  He told me to wait untill later.  I said "but sex has played a big role in my life, and my whole life style revolved around Sex".   He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life, and would not marry us in his ch
Funnies
An old nun Who was living in a convent next to a construction site Noticed the coarse language of the workers And decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways.   She decided she would take her lunch, Sit with the workers And talk with them.   She put her sandwich in a brown bag And Walked over to the spot where the men were eating.   She walked up to the group and with a big smile said: "and do you men know Jesus Christ?"      They shook their heads and looked at each other very confused.   One of the workers looked up into the steelworks and yelled out,     "Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?"   One of the steelworkers yelled down     'why'?   The worker yelled back,     "Cos his wife's here with his lunch" During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the "Director how do You determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized." 'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, the
Funny Or Not U Decide!!!
Wrong Card A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card; it read "Rest in Peace." The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said. "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: Somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, 'Congratulations on your new location!!' Roar A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR all the way down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he r
Funny Lmao
First published in the British humor magazine "Punch" on April 3, 1957: Q: What are banks for? A: To make money. Q: For the customers? A: For the banks. Q: Why doesn't bank advertising mention this? A: It would not be in good taste. But it is mentioned by implication in references to reserves of $249,000,000,000 or thereabouts. That is the money they have made. Q: Out of the customers? A: I suppose so. Q: They also mention Assets of $500,000,000,000 or thereabouts. Have they made that too? A: Not exactly. That is the money they use to make money. Q: I see. And they keep it in a safe somewhere? A: Not at all. They lend it to customers. Q: Then they haven't got it? A: No. Q: Then how is it Assets? A: They maintain that it would be if they got it back. Q: But they must have some money in a safe somewhere? A: Yes, usually $500,000,000,000 or thereabouts. This is called Liabilities. Q: But if they've got it, how can they be liable for
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A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.'Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.'Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.The frog says, 'Sure. I have this,' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.She finds the manager and says, 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.'She holds up the tiny pink elephant. 'I mean, what in the world is this?'The bank manager looks back at her and says...'It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a lo
Funny Night
free 15 mins with me live on my webcam for new members only + 3d glasses visit me at http://www.titanic-tits.net hi guy s dont mis it I m now offering free 15 mins with mbe on cam for new members only  free 15 mins + 3d glasses take a look at http://www.titanic-tits.net this week end it s the week end i cheat ahah so for my lastest cheat me n friends go to the restaurante and when we finished we walked till the door to go ouside ... I said thank you to my friend for she s hold the door for me but when i said thank u she s was looking outside so she s think i was saying thanl you to the waitres behind  ahahah so my friend turn around and said thank you but it was not the waitress behing but people like us who going out at the restaurante ahhaha one time out of the restaurante i said hey at who you said thank u ?? she s said i thought u said thank u to the waitress  omg omg it was so funny to see her say thank u to people she s dont know ahahha it was hilarious it s been awhile i did nt
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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? One  evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said  to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!'His  wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go  unrewarded. The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the H*%* is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out. 'April',  he hollered into the bathroom, 'Why did you put Talcum Powder in my underwear?' She  replied with a snicker. 'It's not talcum powder;  it's 'Miracle Grow'!!!
Funny Story
I just found this really fucked up website. I laughed my ass off at what some of these people wrote. I found it all hilarious. It is a church forum board. If you read the different forum topics you discover that they are rascist, misogynistic (hatred of women and girls), and really "dislike" the Mentally Handicapped. Here is a link of one of the forum discussions:http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=19458This one is asking, "Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?" Wow is all I can say. I am amazed at how "close-minded" this group seems. I just found it quite amusing and thought I would share it with the Fu-world.  Enjoy! lol
Funny Vids.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BayeiME1Fs  
Funnies From An 80 Year Old Patient
now i lay me down to sleep i pray the lord my shape to keep please no wrinkles please no bags and please lift my butt before it sags please no age spots please no gray and as for my belly please take it away please keep me healthy please keep me young and thank you lord for all you have done       five tips for women 1. its important that a man helps you around the house and has a JOB.  2. its important that a man makes you laugh 3. its important to find a man you can count on and who wont lie to you 4. its important that a man loves you and spoils you 5. its important that these 4 men dont meet each other loll one saggy boob said to the other saggy boob; "if we dont get some support soon - people will think we are nuts" omg she is too cute at 80 years old i swear
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Funny Stuff
Funny Ass Review Of A Restaurant!!
I don't really blog alot but when I came across this review of Der Weinerschnitzel I had to post it! Here it is for your enjoyment. It's really funny in my humble opinion :D The review is from Jetta R. from Phoenix, Az.     What would I ever do without Wienerschnitzel?It's my holy place. My temple. My place of tribute. And I'm not making a clever metaphor for the rise in obesity and fast food consumption.You see, to keep in line with my religion (Discordianism), I have to eat a hot dog (or two...or three) every Friday in reverence to the goddess Eris. I'm not making this shit up. Look it up in our scripture. I experimented for a while in finding a suitable regular source of weenie. At first I tried doing the "hot dog cart outside of the store/bar/strip club" thing, but after a while I realized that behind every smiling hot dog salesman is a tragic story of heartbreak and shattered dreams, and I began to fear that eventually hot dogs would begin to taste like cheating spouses and chi
Funny Stuff On Here
You know what I cant seem to fuckin figure out??Has anyone seen,usually its women,people's pages where they want you to go through so much bullshit just to simply get them to accept your friend request?What the fuck is that about??I mean,gimme afuckin break!!You gotta be kidding me??!What makes 'em even think they're worth doin all that shit for,just to be friends?It's almost like they're God's gift to mankind,yknow?And the other thing is,most of 'em that do it are fat women,and the others are over 40.Hahahaha,it's so fuckin pathetic.Cuz once you do all that shit they ask for,if you decide to do it,then its like they never even talk to you on a regular basis.Hell,I even saw a woman who wanted straight up cash to be added to her family!Man,how pathetic can people be?But I guess thats a stupid question,when asking about the people on here.Anyway,its really fucked up asking for so much shit just to be a friend...and ifyou're asking people to do shit before you add them as a friend,wel...y
Funny Canadians
Canada VS United States This is an actual radio conversation between a United States Navy aircraft carrier (U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln) and Canadian authorities off the coast off Newfoundland in October 1995. (The radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10/10/95 as authorized by the Freedom of Information Act.) CANADIANS:Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. AMERICANS:Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision. CANADIANS:Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. AMERICANS:This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. CANADIANS:No, I say again, you divert YOUR course. AMERICANS:This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln. The second largest ship in the United States Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers, and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course15 degr
Funny But True
it seems I have a problem with an old friend again!!they are making fake profiles just 2 put out trash about me and my friends use caution! if u get any messeges about me or u get trash BLOCK THEM!!!(profiles are ht 1 always & bluejays girlfriend IGNORE BOTH.and I am sorry If any 1 of u were offended by them. well let me tell you all I was e-mailin this member back and forth she was getting flirty she requested my friendship I accepted!she also fanned me and I fanned back I also rated her profile an 11 and I rated all her pics 10ns.I even bought her...I get back on and she blocked me!!!SMH thats all I can do.I kind of find it humorous!thanks for reading peace out my friends.... I get asked wild questions about my race,like am I from india or am I a paru indian,also am I mexican? lol.. even aztec!no to all I am native american indian,its kinda hard to explain to people who dont know history,I can do some bird noises ,I can sling an axe yes I do speak very little indian...and no I am not
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This is an email I got today.  It sturck me as funny as hell considering I spoke with the person for all of 5 minutes. From the very first moment I saw you I knew that we were destined to be together. It has been so long since a woman has captured my attention so fully or made my heart beat the way it did that very first day i saw your pics on badoo. Your smile lights up my entire spirit. Your laughter fills me with joy, and your mere presence will warm any room. I have no doubt you are the woman Heaven has made especially for me.Thank you for the comfortable conversations and for asking me to be your friend maybe it might lead us somewhere from there. Most importantly, thank you for sharing your friendship and wanting to make me your good friend first. No matter how slowly or at what distance our courtship developes, I know standing before God and our future family, vowing to be your partner for life, was the easiest decision I could have ever made.Each day that passes makes our fr
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This is an evaluation of a person after talking to me for about one hour.. on and off   we can squash dis, I was jus tryna get ta know you, but dont think you know da diff of real and fake, like youve been tainted from da folks on da internet, and yes,,,,,,,,, you mek it hard for sombody ta get ta know you cuz you put up dis wall dat you think people cant see thru, ima leave you alone, but I wanna show you somthin if your cool wit dat, (aint a cam thang) jus somthin I wrote, Im cool, and I concider you a friend, a boring one, butchu cool wit me, even doe you lame   Something must be wrong with me when I refused to view his cam which he insisted, saying I'm lame cos I don't want to view his cam   Sigh How men can amuse themselves when taken shopping!!!!!!! HOW MEN AMUSE THEMSELVES IN TESCO'S Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her Husband or boyfriend along shopping This letter was actually sent by Tesco's Head Office to a Customer in Oxford
Funny Stuff
A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake.. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, " Hey, you wanna hear a blond joke?" The bar immdiately falls absolutely silent... In a very deep, husky voice the woman next to him says, " Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair --- given that you are blind -- that you should know five things: 1. The bartender is a blond girl with a baseball bat. 2. The boucer is a blond girl. 3. I'm a 6 ft tall, 175lb. Blonde woman with a black belt in karate. 4. The woman sitting next to me is blond and a professional weightlifter.  5. The lady to your right is a blond and a professional westler.  Now, think about it seriously, Mister, do you still wanna tell that joke?" The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "No... Not if i'm gonna have to explain it five times"..... 
Funny Shit!!
According To http://www.wabg.com/NEWS05272009_WASHINGTON.htm LOCAL LAW ENFORCEMENT HAS BEEN BUSY WITH SEARCH WARRANTS ARRESTING SUSPECTS ON A VARIETY OF DRUG CHARGES. THROUGH THE EFFORTS OF WASHINGTON COUNTY SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT'S NARCOTICS DIVISION AND THE GREENVILLE POLICE DEPARTMENT TWO MEN HAVE BEEN ARRESTED AND ANOTHER NOW BEING SOUGHT. FIRST UP WAS A SEARCH ON FRIDAY AT 640 HIBISCUS STREET IN GREENVILLE WHERE THREE OUNCES OF MARIJUANA AND $4,884 IN CASH WAS FOUND. 22-YEAR-OLD JAMES BOYD WAS ARRESTED AT THE RESIDENCE AND CHARGED WITH POSSESSION OF MARIJUANA WITH INTENT TO DISTRIBUTE. HE WAS ARRAIGNED ON TUESDAY AND IS NOW OUT ON A $5,000 BOND. THEN ON TUESDAY, AUTHORITIES EXECUTED A SEARCH WARRANT AT 424 FAIRVIEW STREET IN GREENVILLE AND FOUND A HALF POUND OF MARIJUANA AND $2,133 IN CASH. 22-YEAR-OLD DENNIS SMITH WAS ARRESTED AT THE RESIDENCE AND CHARGED WITH POSSESSION OF MARIJUANA WITH INTENT TO DISTRIBUTE. HE REMAINS IN THE WASHINGTON COUNTY JAIL PENDING AN ARRAIGNMENT HEAR
Funny Saying
A  PRAYER  FOR  THE  STRESSED!  !  !Grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the  courage to change the things i cannot accept, & the wisdom to hide the  bodies of those PPL  i  had to kill 2day because they pissed me off.& also, help me to be careful of the toes i step on 2day , as they may  be connected to the ass that i may have to kiss 2morrow.Help me to always give 100% at work  12%on Monday   23% on Tuesday  40% on Wednesday   20% on Thursday   5%  on Friday & help  me to remember.....when i'm having a really bad day, & it seems that  PPL  are trying to  piss me off , that is takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to extend  my middle finger and tell them to KISS  MY  ASS !  ! 
Funny Things I Like
Ain't Nobody Telling Me What My Baby Allergic To By Amber RichardsonMarch 28, 2007 | ISSUE 43•13So yesterday some bitch nurse at the clinic was wasting my time trying to tell me my baby Liondrae all allergic to penicillin or some shit. I don't know what kind of made-up bullshit that is. She probably, like, said it just to come off all important.Besides, who asked her to tell me what 'Drae allergic to anyway? I only brought him to the clinic 'cause that cut on his arm he got trying to climb the chain-link fence behind our apartment got all nasty and green and shit. They jabbed his arm up with penicillin to clear it up, but next morning, he got all swollen and looked funny, so I had to bring him back in, and that's when the nurse say he must be allergic. Now he have to be given special antibiotics twice a day, like I got time to fuck around with medicine.And then they tried to blame me for the penicillin shit, like I should've known he'd have a bad reaction to it. Well, I ain't a
Funny Flash Games
funny flash games
Funnies
* I'll swallow it all . . . I love the taste. * Are you sure you've had enough to drink? * I'm bored. Let's shave my little kitty, you big lion king! * Oh come on, what do ya say we get a good porno movie, a case of beer, a few joints, and have my friend Tammy over for a threesome! * God..if I don't get to blow you soon, I swear I'm gonna bust! * I know it's a lot tighter back there but would you please try again? * You're so sexy when you're hungover. * I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping. * Let's subscribe to Hustler. * Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend? * Say, let's go down to the mall so you can check out women's asses. * I'll be out painting the house. * I love it when you play golf on Sunday's, I just wish you had time to play on Saturday too. * Honey, our new neighbor's daughter is nude sunbathing again, come see! * I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the hou
Funny "quotes" With ,,/ Dj Metalface ,,/
I will be posting funny quotes from movies and t.v. shows.. All you gotta do is know who I am quoting! Simple as that. If you think you know who I am quoting the send me a P.M. with who you think i am quoting.
Funny Story
ok funny story: When me and my ex would do standing doggy she would quif. So one night I had been drinking and she starts quifing, so i start to call her Quiffer Sutherland.Looking back I think she may have been retarded because she didnt get it.    Just thought I would share that tidbit with y'all.
Funniez....
My job is so fucking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average po
Funny Funny
* I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. * More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me. * Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. * I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I=2 0don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter? * Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on
Funny Shit
Here I lie in stinky vapor, Because some bastard stole the toilet paper, Shall I lie, or shall I linger, Or shall I be forced to use my finger. Here I sit Broken hearted Tried to **** But only farted Here I sit What a caper I have to **** But I'm out of paper You're lucky You had your chance I tried to fart, And **** my pants! Some people come here to take a ****, I came here to leave one. Some come here to sit and think, Some come here to **** and stink, But I come here to scratch my balls, And read the bull**** on the walls... Here I sit, I'm at a loss trying to **** out taco sauce. When it comes, I hope and pray, I don't blow my ass away
Funny(while Testing The Boob Theory)
Funny Stuff
 Woman's note to Tech Support: Last year, I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0, and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5. Much to my surprise, Husband 1.0 contained additional undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NHL 4.3, and ESPN 2.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix the problems, to no avail. What can I do? Response from Tech Support: First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try installing Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. Remember, overuse of the above applications can cause a default to Grump
Funny Stuffs
This is from a quote database my friend got me hooked on. Evader: nothing beats a caffiene high when reading a good bookEvader: kicks the imagination into overdriveQuixote: I'll bet a light dose of psychedelics would beat a caffeine high.Evader: no, then the vowels would segregate from the union and you'd have an alphabetical civil war on your handsEvader: if you REALLY fuck up, the numbers will come in as peacekeepers and proceed to draw out a year long campaign to 'resolve the conflict' while secretly stealing all the punctuation I became confused when I heard these terms which reference the word 'service'. Internal Revenue 'Service' U.S. Postal 'Service' Telephone 'Service' T.V. 'Service' Civil 'Service' City & County Public 'Service' Customer 'Service' and 'Service' Stations This is not what I thought 'service' meant.  But today, I overheard two farmers talkin
Funnies
Funniest Videos Reporter Gone Ghetto
Funny Jokes
1. The Female always makes The Rules.  2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.  3. No Male can possibly know all The Rules.  4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all The Rules, she must immediately change some or all of The Rules.  5. The Female is never wrong.  6. (If the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the Male did or said wrong.)  7. (If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.)  8. The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.  9. The Male must never change his mind without express written consent from the Female.  10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.  11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female Wants him to be angry or upset.  12. The Female must under no circumstance
Funny Shit
Today, we salute you Mr. "Livin the Dream" Junior Hockey Player. While most average adolescents take the normal route right to college, You defy conformity and take the road less taken. While most are home studying for tests, you are out with your 12 pack, your tin of choice, and your team jacket trying to get as many high school girls in one place at one time. You truly are an All-Star. So raise your glass, and crack open an ice cold Bud Light, because there's no shame in being older than your college professor
Funny As Hell
http://www.fancast.com/tv/Scare-Tactics/9570/1294784885/Ghoul-Bus/videos
Funny Stuff
My niece is soooo cute in this. Some of your favorite Bouncers havin some fun. So...do you think you can dance with the Bouncers in the pale moonlight? This is my G/Fs' cat. It's her first time seeing a christmas tree.
Funny Status
Funny Shit In My Shoutbox:p
This is another prime example of that this morning. My EX room mate whom I havent talked to in months came in my Yahoo today and this is where that ended... James Andersso n: backFREYA: wgFREYA: have the stoer next door?James Andersson: r u doingJames Andersson: nope smal town lolFREYA: eatingJames Andersson: kFREYA: lolFREYA: so what you been up to latelyJames Andersson: mostly dancing.. and workingJames Andersson: u?FREYA: mostly workingJames Andersson: kJames Andersson: so how r the kids doing?FREYA: doing wellFREYA: nessa is home sick but tother then that, they are fineJames Andersson: kJames Andersson: played any new game?FREYA: new COD is pretty cool, and wolfensteinFREYA: played Fallout 3 for a while tooJames Andersson: modernwarfare 2?FREYA: of courseJames Andersson: idiots that made that game..James Andersson: but it funsJames Andersson: itsJames Andersson: talk about old coldwar action lolFREYA: why idiots? cant handle it or what? lolJames Andersson: no bu
Funny Jokes, See More In Stash
Leroy is a 20 year old 10th grader.This is Leroy's homework assignment. He must use each vocabulary word in a sentence.1.Hotel -I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the ho tel everybody.1.Dictate -My girlfriend say my dictate good.3.Rectum -I had two Cadillac's but my bitch rectum bofe.4. Disappointment -My parole officer tol' me i miss disappointment they gonna send me back to the joint.5. Penis -I went to the doctor and he handed me a cup and said 'penis'6. Israel -Tito try to sell me a Rolex. I say 'Man it looks fake.' He say, 'Bullcrap, that watch israel.'7. Undermine -There's a fine lookin' ho living in the apartment undermine.8. Fortify -I axed this ho on da street, 'How much?' She say 'Fortify.'Furthering you education with Today's Ebonic word...Today's word is: OMELETTELets use it in a sentence. -'I should pop ya ass fo what you jus did, but omelette that shit go dis time! 1. Sit in your car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.   2. Pag
Funny
Funny Shit!
y don't u come over to myspace and google my yahoo so i can blow my load on ur facebook while u lick my twitter     we sang this in jail to all the diddlers and it would piss them off so bad cause we would put their names on blast lmmfao All around the mulberry bush the (diddler) chased the child the child thought it was all in fun till (the diddler) got him!
Funny
Scenario 1: Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack. 1959 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack. 2009 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers. Scenario 2: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school. 1959 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies. 2009 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark.. They are both charged them with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it. Scenario 3: Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students. 1959 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again. 2009
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Funny
Early Dismissal   It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students haveturned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All thechildren are restless and the teacher decides to have an earlydismissal.Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly canleave early today."Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smartand will answer the question."Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."Johnny is even madder than before.Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leav
Funny
Sit comfortably and be calm. This is a serious test, not a joke.. Put your thinking process aside - i.e. put your brain in neutral gear.    1- Find the C below. Do not use any cursor help. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO COOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Funny Sh*t
CAKE OR BED A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS, HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW. HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY, FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE GE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO. FINE, THEN THE WIFE ASKS, WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT TO WHICH HE REPLIED, FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO FINE, SHE SAYS THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT DOOR? THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK I'M NOT A CARPENTER AND I DON'T WANT TO FIX STEPS HE SAYS, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ACE HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU. I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!!! SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS............................... HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THAT THE STEP
Funny
Funnies
WHY CONDOMS COME IN BOXES OF 3, 6, AND 12 !!!      A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad? To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms son. Men use them to have safe sex." "Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one  for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.""Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack andasks, "Then who are these for?""Those are for college men," the dad answers, TWOfor Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday." "WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?"he asks, picking up a 12 pack.    ....With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March.....
Funny Shit
I think Santa Claus is a woman....I hate to be the one to defy a sacred myth, but I believe he's a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off! For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag. Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the tax
Funny Stuff
'Hong Kong announced on Wednesday that they would be giving away $6000HKD (about $770 USD) to each adult permanent resident in Hong Kong. The government will also be issuing salary tax cuts due to a fiscal surplus for the fiscal year ending on March 31st. This plan of giving out money to almost everyone replaces the plan that they had earlier to give that money to retirement savings accounts. Lawmakers and social groups commented that it is ineffective on low-income groups. The government would waive 75% of salary taxes. It is estimated that there is a surplus of $71.3 billion for this fiscal year.'     AND Hong Kong is pretty much the lowest taxed country in the world... Not to mention things like public transport is uber efficient and up to date with the latest tech... and CHEAP.   Man I so gotta get my residency sorted out. A British passport doesn't seem to have that much desirability as it once used to! 12:01pm wills gros...: hi 12:01pm wills gros...:
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Funny Thing I Have Noticed
Funnies (and How True!!!)
Military vs. Civilian FriendsCIVILIAN FRIENDS: Tell you not to do something stupid when drunk.MILITARY FRIENDS: Will post 360 security so you dont get caught.CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs. ...... MILITARY FRIENDS: Call your parents mom and dad.CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Hope the night out drinking goes smoothly, and hope that no one is late for the ride home.MILITARY FRIENDS: Know some wild stuff will happen, and set up rally points and an E & E route.CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.MILITARY FRIENDS: Will be sitting next to you saying, Damn...we f**ked up...but hey, that was fun!"CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.MILITARY FRIENDS: Steal each other's stuff so often nobody remembers who bought it in the first place.CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will listen to your relationship problems and hope it works out for you.MILITARY FRIENDS: Will listen to you over a long hard road march, and will help you straighten it ou
Funny Stuff
Shooting adviceWords Of Wisdom Clint Smith, Director of Thunder Ranch, is part drill instructor, and part standup comic (Thunder Ranch is a firearms training facility in Arizona ).Here are a few of his observation on tactics, firearms, self defense and life as we know it in the civilized world."The most important rule in a gunfight is: Always win and cheat if necessary.""Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way..""Make your attacker advance through a wall of bullets. You may get killed with your own gun, but he'll have to beat you to death with it, cause it's going to be empty.""If you're not shootin', you should be loadin'. If you're not loadin', you should b
Funny Thoughts
Dare to dream...I posted a blog today on facebook about stepping out of reality...just to  get away from the stresses of the every day world. I said dont you wish sometimes you could just have the life of a rich person with out being a snobb and be able to get what ever you needed with out worrying about your bills. Or wish you could be imortal...with special abiltys...to help others in need ...to never die...be in perfect health..and look fantastic...but I said the problem with being imortal...how would you explain that to your family...when they are growing older and you are not. I think it would be best to step out of your former life, and being a new...take away all past memorys of your fomer life cause I know myself...it would hurt like a bitch not being able to see your family any more....that would be the only way I could handle being imortal. My neice said to dream ...brings on jealousy and envy...and you wake up depressed because that life style you so want you will never
Funny And Sad
             These  are real noteswritten by parents in the   Memphis school  district . Spellings  have been left  intact.....      1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please  execute him.
Funny One Liners
100,000 sperm and you were the fastest? 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. A closed mouth gathers no foot. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. A day without sunshine is like, night. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. All generalizations are false, including this one. All men are idiots, and I married their King. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. Always try to be modest and be proud of it! Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of. Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.Assassins do it from behind. Atheism is a non-prophet organ
Funny Statuses...!!
A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid.When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time..... Just been to the Doctor's to find out why I have some grass & a tree growing out of my head.Turns out I have a beauty spot... I was walking home last night when some imbecile threw cheese at me.I thought to myself, that's not very mature...! I went to the airport, walked up to the desk and started flapping my arms like a bird and making clucking noises.The woman behind the counter said to me, "No sir, this is 'Check-in'"...!! I came home one day to find my missus dressed up in a French Maid's outfit.I was really disappointed...the house was still in right mess..! I got a new job answering the phone in a clinic that treats people that suffer from jaundice.When people ring up I say, "yellow?"...!! I just rang Pizza Hut and ordered a Thin 'n Crusty Supreme for delivery.When I opened the door they'd sent me Diana Ross...!
Funny Shyt
2000 years...: me licia: me what? 2000 years...: na i just wanted to see if you respond licia: umm okay... 2000 years...: from where are you? licia: from the land where people read profiles, you? 2000 years...: maybe i read it and i just forgot im from pr 2000 years...: ill go read    2000 years...: hey it dosnt say from where you are licia: it says united state
Funny Shiit...lol
CHILI JUDGING CONTEST:>>A Texas Chili Contest>>If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's no hope for>you.>>>For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is.>They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes>around. It takes up a major portion of the parking lot at the city park.>The notes are from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank,>who was visiting from Canada.>>Frank: "Recently, I was honoured to be selected as a judge at a>chilli cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last>moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table>asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came>in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the>chilli wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I>could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted".>>Here are the scorecards from the event:>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>>Chili # 1 Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster C
Funny Shit
BREAKING NEWS. OAKLAND,CA-Raiders football practice was delayed nearly 2 hours after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach, Jackson, immediately suspended practice & called the police & federal investigators. After a complete analysis, FBI experts determined that the white substance unknown to players was the GOAL LINE. Practice resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again this season.
Funnies!
These things seriously crack me up! :O
Funny Shoutbox People
The Funnies Video Ever
Funny Stuff *nsfw*
Funny Poetry
She whispered "will it hurt me?" "Of course not" answered he "It's a very simple process, You can rely on me." She said "I'm very frightened, I've not had this before. My friend has had it five times And said it can be sore." It was growing rather painful Tears formed in her eyes It was hurting quite a bit now It must have been a size. "Calm yourself" he whispered "His face filled with a grin "Try and open wider So I can get it in." "It's coming now" he whispered "I know" she cried in bliss Feeling it deep within her now She said "I am glad I'm having this." And with a final effort She gave a frightened shout He gripped it in anguish And quickly pulled it out. She lay back quite contended Sighed and gave a smile She said "I'm glad I came now You made it worth my while." Now if you read this carefully The dentist you will find Is not what you imagined It's just your dirty mind!
Funny Guy
My 15 year old son is cleaning off the top of my dresser in an attempt to kiss up to me so I will give him my Razor phone to use since his is messed up. He found some Campho-Phenique and yells "Hey mama, you still need this camp a hoe stuff?" He makes me laugh like no one else can
Funny Jokes
In african tribes When the black male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his penis and on the other end is a weight. Over a period of time, the weight stretches the penis to 24 inches. Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower, his wife looked at him and said, 'How about if we try the African string-and-weight procedure? The husband agreed and they tied a string and a weight to his penis. A few days later, the wife asked the husband, 'How is our little "tribal experiment" coming along?' 'Well, it looks like we're about halfway there,' he replied. 'Wow, you mean it's grown to 12 inches?' 'No, it's turning black though.' ONLY A MAN WOULD ATTEMPT THIS: Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I
Funny Stuff
Corruption Confusion, illusion, diffusion among us. Inspired by those who are in power of us. Our protectors are devils, disguised in angel eyes, Misleading, deceiving, tricking us into believing we are safe while we are dreaming. All the while they are scheming, demeaning, Manufacturing a false sense of security just to maintain worldy positions, possessions, with no discretions. We are only puppets in their puppet show, Singing and dancing for their pockets to grow. Assets no longer, it's time to go, oppose their code and to jail you will go. A seemingly endless supply, Brainwashed from inside the womb. It's not us they care about, It's power, greed, prestige, they protect. More money to make, more souls to take. It's Freedom we need to protect, it's us Who need to direct. To stand up for Our rights, unite one another... Believe in each other! Think for ourselves, listen to our hearts,
Funny Stuff
  Alzheimer's Test How fast can you guess these words? 1. F_ _K 2. PU_S_ 3. S_X   4. P_N_S   5. BOO_S 6. _ _NDOM                           Answers: 1. FORK 2. PULSE 3. SIX 4. PANTS 5. BOOKS 6. RANDOM       You got all 6 wrong....didn' t you?
Funny Quizzes Nd Crap
1. Put Your MP3 Player on Shuffle. 2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer. 3. You must write down the name of the song no matter how silly it sounds! 4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name. 5. Tag at least 10 friends------------------------- What do your friends think of you? Superman Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down [LMFAO go figure] If someone says, "Is this okay?" Clothes Off - Gym Class Heroes [apparently it looks better on my floor? LMAO] How would you describe yourself? Hey Sexy Lady - Shaggy ft Sean Paul [oh yea that's clearly my words *smh*] What do you like in a guy/girl? Lips of an Angel - Hinder [awwwww] How do you feel today? Porno Star - Buckcherry [ROFL OMFG imma pornographic monster on the floor???] What is your life's purpose? (S)aint - Marilyn Manson [LMAO all I need is yoU] What is your motto? Crazy Bitch - Buckcherry [fitting...oh so fitting lmfao] What do you think about very often? Spit It Out - Slip Knot What do you think
Funny Things To Do When Drunk
I have compiled a list of funny things to do when drunk, these fun and silly things are all free things you can do any where when you are bored. I hearby dare you and in turn you have to dare your friends to do one thing off my list for one day. If you can take photo's and videos of your antics.   CLICK HERE FOR THE LIST   I DARE YOU ALL ;)    PS ADD ME UP IF YOU LAUGH
Funny Gifs
He was wondering how to make his girlfriend feel sorry for him KILL DAD I Have Something for you As you wish Fido loved to play jokes Hey!! Check me out!!! GET OUT OF MY FACE!!!
Funny Repost
A guy who purchased his wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this.    Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??    "WAY TOO COOL!” Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.   "I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.   "AWESOME!!!   Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.   Okay,
Funn
Im so board that Im concidering dressing up as the grim reaper and heading over to the local retirenment home and tapping on the windows, and waveing for enterntainment.
Funny Jokes
       IT WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS AND ALL THOUGH THE HOUSE EVERYONE FELT SHITTY EVEN THE MOUSE. DAD AT THE WHORE HOUSE MOM SMOKIN GRASS AND I'D SETTLED DOWN FOR A NICE PIECE OF ASS. THEN OUT ON THE LAWN THERE AROSE SUCH A CLATTER I SPRANG FROM MY PIECE TO SEE WHAT WAS THE MATTER! HE CAME DOWN THE CHIMNEY LIKE A BAT OUT OF HELL I KNEW RIGHT AWAY THAT FUCKER FELL. HE FILLED ALL THE STOCKINGS WITH PRETZELS AND BEER AND A BIG RUBBER DICK FOR MY BROTHER THE QUEER! HE ROSE UP THE CHIMNEY WITH ONE HELL OF A FART THAT SON OF A BITCH BLEW MY CHIMNEY APART! HE SWORE AND HE CURSED AS HE FLEW OUT OF SITE PISS ON YOU AND AND HAVE ONE HELL OF A NIGHT!           SEX AND GOOD ENGLISH                                  ON HIS 74TH BIRTHDAY, A MAN GOT A GIFT CERTIFICATE FROM HIS WIFE. THE CERTIFICATE PAID FOR A VISIT TO A MEDICINE MAN LIVING ON A NEARBY RESERVATION WHO WAS RUMORED TO HAVE A WONDERFUL CURE FOR ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION.   AFTER BEING PERSUADED, HE DROVE TO THE RESERVATION, HANDED HI
Funny Stuff
A Shopping Story   After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.Dear Mrs. Samuel,Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.1.  June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.3. July 7:  He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.4. July 19:  Walked up to an employee and told her in an offici
Funny Babies
Funny Baby Graphics & Funny Baby Pictures Funny Pregnant Womans Graphics & Funny Pregnant Pictures 3WoRdSIAMPreGnAnT Graphics & Funny Pregnant Pictures
Funnies My Boys Say!
last week my youngest asks his brother.. do you ever have headaches? The oldest says..not much. The youngest says..I do..must be because I have a larger Brain!   2nd story..just done tonight.. we were watchin national lampoons vacation...theres a part in the movie where the boy is in his cousins room..they are looking at playboy magazines.. the cousin says..These magazines come in very handy..i use the alot The boy says.."how" anyways..my oldest who is 12 says.. how do they come in handy? how does he use them? Youngest says.."he reads them..duh!"   as for me..other than laughing..I just went along with the youngest..I mean..seriously..how do you explain? LOL. Oldest is getting of age..but still clueless! :D
Funny
 1.  We got off the Titanic first. 2. We can  scare male bosses with mysterious  gynecological  disorder excuses. 3. Taxis  stop for us. 4. We don 't look like a frog in  a blender when dancing. 5. No fashion faux  pas we make could ever rival the Speedo. 6.  We don 't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.  7. If we forget to shave, no one has to  know. 8. We can congratulate our teammate  without ever touching her  rear end. 9. We  never have to reach down every so often to make  sure  our privates are still there. 10. We  have the ability to dress ourselves. 11.   We can talk to the opposite sex without  having to picture  them naked. 12.  If  we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware  that  we will look like an idiot. 13. We will  never regret piercing our ears. 14. There  are times when chocolate really can solve all  your  problems.15.. We can make comments  about how silly men are in their  presence  because they aren't listening anyway.   The little boy comes down to brea
The Funny Stuff
More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk. That’s enough, Nickelback. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger. Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you m
Funnies
  HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT The following is an actual question given on a   University  of Arizona   chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.      The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :     Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?      Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.      &
Funny Shit
A fly was flying along when he saw a stream wth a rock. He thought if i land on that rock i will have me a good rest, but he didn't see the fish in the water . The fish said if the fly comes down and lands on the rock i will have me a fly supper, but the fish didn't see the bear behind him. The bear said if the fly goes down, the fish will come up and i will have a fish supper, but the bear didn't see the man behind him. The man said if the fly goes down, the fish will come up and the bear will go down and i will stand up and shoot the bear and i will have a bear skin rug, but the man didn't see the rat behind him. the rat said if the fly goes down, the fish will come up, the bear will go down, the man will stand up and the cheese sandwhich will fall out of his pocket and i will have a cheese sandwhich supper, but the rat didn't see the cat behind him. The cat said if the fly goes down, the fish will come up, the bear will go down, the man will stand up, the rat will go down and i will
Funny
A former Sergeant, having served his time with the Marine Corps, took a new job as a school teacher, but just before the school year started he injured his back. He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable. On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school. The smart aleck punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and decided to see how tough he really was, before trying any pranks. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler and promptly stapled the tie to his chest. Dead silence... He had no trouble with discipline that year.
Funnies
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCMnNQW5fFs A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch.Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground.He finally gets himself to the doctor.He says, "How bad is it doc? I’m going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancee is still a virgin in every way."The doc said, "I’ll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week."So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided bandage and wired it all together. It was an impressive work of art.The guy mentions none of this to his girlfriend.They marry and on their honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts.This was the first time he’d ever seen them.She says, "You are the first, no one has ever touched these breasts."He pulls down his pants, whips it out and says, "And look at this, it’s still in the CRATE!"
Funny Fairie
A married couple in their 60's are visited by a fairy who grants them both a wish. "I want to travel around the world with my darling husband" says the wife. 2 tickets for a luxury cruise magically appear in her hand. Husband says "Sorry, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me." Fairy waves her wand and the husband becomes 92 ... The Moral of the story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember that fairies are female!!!.....pass it on...its too funny  
Funny Stuff
Two hillbillies are having lunch when a woman seated nearby begins to choke. Hillbilly asks her,"kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no. Hillbilly asks her "kin ya breathe?" Woman shakes her head no. Hillbilly walks over,lifts up her dress, yanks down britches and licks her butt cheek. The woman has a violent spasm and spits out food. The hillbillies' buddy says "ya know,I heerd of that there hind lick maneuver but I aint niver seed nobody do it".....re-post if ya laughed.
Funny Shit
Funny
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:I do physical labor. I work at great depths. I plunge headfirst into everything I do. I do not get weekends or public holidays off. I work in a damp environment. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation. I work in high temperatures. My work exposes me to contagious diseases. Sincerely,P. Niss **The Response** Dear Penis:After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:You do not work 8 hours straight. You fall asleep after brief work periods. You do not always follow the orders of the management team. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as weari
Funny Stuff
Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two things left in his bag of creations, so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up while urinating. "It's a very handy thing" God told the couple, "and I was wondering if either one of you wanted that abilty."Adam jumped up and blurted "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that. It seems the sort of thing a man would do. Please give me that ability. It'd be so great. When I'm working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just stand there and let fly. It'd be sooo cool. I could write my name in the sand. Please, God, let it be me you give the gift to, let me stand to pee, oh please." Eve just smiled and said that if Adam really wanted that so bad that he should have it. It seemed to be the sort of thing that would make Adam really happy, and she didn't mind if Adam were the one to get this ability. Adam was hap
Funny Stories
Funny
“A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight times”   “Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love”     “Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.”     sex is simple, love stings afterwards.”     “Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.”       “Nobody dies from lack of sex. It's lack of love we die from.”       “An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away”   I am DJing on Friday nights at a very small bar. The theme is 50's & 60's with some 70's. What would be some of your favorite songs from that time to hear? Contest: PM me the worst pick up line you have ever heard! Winner will get 3crdt bling. contest ends 4/2/12 8pm
Funny Shit
1. guys go into my speaker box to molest .. without even knowing .. my naME ..  2. I THINK ITS FUNNY WHEN THEY ALL THINK I WANT TO SEE THIER COCKS .. CAN U IMAGINE HOW MANY COCKS ID HAVE TO LOOK AT IN ONE DAY IF LOOKED AT EVERYONE THAT ASKED ME EVERYDAY (IM SORRY BUT THERES ONLY SO MANY HOURS IN THE DAY .. AND I ONLY REALY WANT TO SEE ONE... OF THE GUY IM IN LOVE WITH LOL .. call me old faSHIONED  but damn..  3.. more funny shit .. when guys act like im some kind of goddess.... constantly im real .. not godess . unless someone gave me the title and didnt tell me about it ..  4 . just cause im sweet doesnt mean i want you .. im just nice fuck pll .. if i fucked everyone i was nice too i never some fucking ...  5. i hate drama ... we all have but i dont like to proling the issue ..  6 . if im not interested i will ignore you .. it my choice ..    7. Fu aint the be all of my time .. its a fun game .. with some awesome pll whom i love talking to .. 
Funny Stuff
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperatelyneeded to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed mygas with the beat of the music.After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,and noticed that everybody was staring at me....Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
Funny One
A woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks. While they're sitting there having a good time together she starts talking about this really great new drink. The more she talks about it, the more excited she gets, and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one. After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him. ... The bartender brings the drink and puts the following on the bar: a saltshaker, a shot of Baileys, and a shot of lime juice. The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains, "First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in you mouth, and finally you drink the lime juice." So, the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her, goes for it. He puts the salt on his tongue -- salty but OK. He drinks the shot of Baileys - smooth, rich, cool, very pleasant. He thinks this is OK. Finally, he picks up the lime juice and drinks it.... In one second the sharp lime taste hits..
Funnies
WHEN GIRLS DON'T PUT OUT... (girls don't read this if u don't have a sense of humor) This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart. and funny so just go with it (Girls -- Have a sense of humor!) One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...  "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with h
Funny Stuff
1. name:   2. age:   3. height:   4. weight:   5. birthday:   6. why do you want to be my boyfriend?   7. what are your hobbies?   8. favorite music?   9. thongs or boy shorts....   10. silk sheets or cotton sheets?   11. do you snore?   12. which side of the bed do you prefer?   13. favorite color?   14. play any instruments?   15. do you believe in love at first sight?   16. do you smoke cigarettes?   17. do you like to drawpaintother art stuff?   18. favorite movie?   19. can you cook?   20. do you cry during sad movies?   21. are you religious?   22. are you a dreamer, or are you down to earth?   23. favorite day of the week?   24. are you spontaneous?   25. would you rather stay in with me or go out somewhere with me?   26. do you like to be alone sometimes?   27. what do you feel is the most important part of a relationship?   28. how do you feel about drugs & alcohol?   29. your friends before me?   30. do you have an inn
Funny Shit
Me: Let's let him do our tattoos. He's really talented. BFF: No, I want to go to a shop where it is clean. Me: He's shit is clean. He has everything a shop would. He just doesn't have to pay rent if he uses his house. BFF: I don't want to get AIDS or HEP C! Me: If you are truly worried about that then maybe you should start using condoms as well. Just saying.  Erica: It will be our luck someone breaks in. Jiffer: Don't JINX us! Erica: Sorry. Hey, Jesus please cast a protective charm over the house and keep us safe. Amen. Jiffer: Erica, I think you have been reading too much Harry Potter. Jesus isn't a wizard. Erica: But he's Almighty & Magic...  So there is a red headed lady at work who is pregnant. He husband is a black man. In the break room she and another co-worker were throwing around baby names...    APPARENTLY "Terry The Chocolate Orange" is unaccepteable. And gets your fired. 
Funny Story.....lol
So I was at WalMart buying a bag of Purina dog chow for my dog , in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog chow, RIGHT ??? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again, and that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care, with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me. I thought the
Funnies
Coffins used to be built with holes in them, attached to six feet of copper tubing and a bell. The tubing would allow air for victims buried under the mistaken impression they were dead. Harold, the Oakdale gravedigger, upon hearing a bell, went to go see if it was children pretending to be spirits. Sometimes it was also the wind. This time it wasn’t either. A voice from below begged, pleaded to be unburied. “You Sarah O’Bannon?” Yes! the voice assured. “You were born on September 17, 1827?” “Yes!” “The gravestone here says you died on February 19?” “No I’m alive, it was a mistake! Dig me up, set me free!” “Sorry about this, ma’am,” Harold said, stepping on the bell to silence it and plugging up the copper tube with dirt. “But this is August. Whatever you is down there, you ain’t alive no more, and you ain’t comin’ up.” The $50
Funny Stuff To Read
Words Women Use Fine This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments. Five Minutes This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the rubbish, so it's an even trade. Nothing This means "something", and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. 'Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with 'Fine' Go Ahead At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble. Go Ahead (With Raised Eyebrows) This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine". Go Ahead (Neutral Expression) This means "I give up" or "do what you want because
Funny
One night a man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. They start talking and come to realize that they're both doctors. After about an hour, the man says to the woman, Hey. How about if we sleep together tonight. No strings attached. It'll just be one night of fun. The woman doctor agrees to it. So they go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom. She goes in the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into the operating room. She scrubs for a good 10 minutes. Finally she goes in the bedroom and they have sex for an hour or so. Afterwards, the man says to the woman, You're a surgeon, aren't you? Yeah, how did you know? The man says, I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started. Oh, that makes sense, says the woman. Youre an anesthesiologist aren't you? Yeah, says the man, a bit surprised. How did you know? The woman answers, Because I didn't feel a thing.
Funny
you're one virgo and 1 mercury so, an analytical brainiac! :) hehe Planet: Position Aspects Total Rank Percent Sun: 42.5 ( 4) + 14.9 ( 6) = 57.4 ( 4) / 9.8% Moon: 60.0 ( 2) + 7.1 ( 9) = 67.1 ( 2) / 11.5% Mercury: 80.0 ( 1) + 31.5 ( 1) = 111.5 ( 1) / 19.0% Venus: 27.5 ( 9) + 17.8 ( 4) = 45.3 ( 7) / 7.7% Mars: 18.5 (11) + 19.3 ( 2) = 37.8 ( 9) / 6.5% Jupiter: 30.0 ( 8) + 17.6 ( 5) = 47.6 ( 6) / 8.1% Saturn: 33.5 ( 6) + 0.0 (10) = 33.5 (10) / 5.7% Uranus: 33.5 ( 7) + 18.5 ( 3) = 52.0 ( 5) / 8.9% Neptune: 48.5 ( 3) + 10.4 ( 7) = 58.9 ( 3) / 10.1% Pluto: 35.0 ( 5) + 10.2 ( 8) = 45.1 ( 8) / 7.7% Chiron: 7.0 (12) + 0.0 (11) = 7.0 (12) / 1.2% Node: 22.0 (10) + 0.0 (12) = 22.0 (11) / 3.8% Total: 438.0 + 147.4 = 585.4 / 100.0% Sign: Power Rank Percent - Element Power Percent Aries: 31.5 ( 8) / 5.4% - Fire: 89.0 / 15.2% Taurus: 22.8 (11) / 3.9% - Earth:
Funny
Funny? Nevah!
By James Ball For lawmakers, illicit downloaders and hackers alike, the internet is one of the few bits of frontier territory left in the world: for the "rogues" there's lots more scope to get away with things not possible in more civilised, everyday reality, while for the lawmakers there's an ungovernable mess. The problem with frontier justice is, of course, that when it strikes, it tends to be rough. And so it's proved for the four members of the hacking group LulzSec, sentenced in a London court: three were jailed for between two years and 32 months (they'll serve half), with the fourth receiving a suspended 20-month sentence. Untangling the rights and wrongs of this case is difficult. The group carried out a series of cyber-attacks that caused millions of pounds' worth of damage, particularly on the Sony Playstation network. (And gamers won't have been happy about the disruption to services). That fact shouldn't be ignored by those mounting a defence of LulzSec: some of the gr
Funny Stories
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest.. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer. The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...?? WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA b
Funny Try To Make Some People Feel Better When They R Bored ,, Hope Its Works
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me...I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started." Her boy friend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He took her hand and said, "Second, I'd want you to relax...Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then..........." he sighed, "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box." Steve Irwin walks into a bar with his pet crocodile by his side. Puts the croc up on the bar. He then turns to the astonished patrons and says: "I'll make you a deal. I'll open th
Funny Story :p
There was once a horse and chicken that was out walking, suddenly the horse fell into a mud hole. - Help! Cried the horse, get the master so that he can help me up!- Nice and slow, said the chicken, I'm going to get help.The chicken ran up to the house and got his master's Ferrari, drove down to the hole, tied a rope to the trailer hitch and got the rope around the horse. When everything was ready, he jumped into the car and drove slowly forward so that the horse was pulled up.A few days later the horse and the chicken again out walking, this time the chicken unfortunatelly fell into the hole.- Help!, Screamed the chicken, retrieve the master so that he can help me up!- Calm, calm, calm, replied the horse, as he stood over the hole, placed the "magic wand", and said:
Funny
http://thedirty.com/2013/06/claudia-muller/comment-page-1/#comment-5068300
Funny Stuff
B&Q JOB APPLICATION This is an actual job application that a 75-year-old pensioner submitted to B&Q in Tunbridge Wells.They hired him because he was so funny.... NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Bastard) SEX: Not lately, but 1 am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate) DESIRED POSITION: Company's Chief Executive or Managing Director. But seriously, whatever's available.If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying in the first place - would I? DESIRED SALARY: £150,000 a year plus share options and a Tony Blair style redundancy package.If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I’m worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It was a crap job. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 - 3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SK
Funny Conversations
Funny Time
Model became popular for its intricately designed bags with robustness that can't be matched. The signature stamped monogrammed grew up to become a quo position for some. A regarded simple fact that not everyone can afford to is price ranges incredibly boost of these designer handbags and purses. Even with a hefty price tag, designer even now continues to be salable. Your goods are still frequented in particular by its meticulous prospects who don't want to solve significantly lower. For the reason of his fame and the need, a lot of companies in China have created mass for transactions of sale wholesale. Now, this tends to make the designer purses bags and economic for reduced and media courses. These variations are great choices for all those who don't want to pay a full lot of income for a bag. Even teenagers can now essentially manage them. Now marketed these design by more bags and purses coach. Many women and adolescents now could get pleasure from carrying a fashion and lavishl
Funny Chit
Funny Chit
One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning. Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask. "It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart."   As the flashing lights blinked in his rear view mirror, Jack took a long look at his speedometer before slowing down: 73 in a 55 zone. Fourth time in as many months. How could a guy get caug
Funnies
1. Ausfahrt isn't funny anymore, and roundabouts are second nature. 2. You no longer mind the person behind or next to you only giving you half an inch of space. 3. 2 hrs for dinner is "fast food". 4. You judge mustard by how well it opens your sinuses. 5. Jumping across the border to get away for the day is no big deal. 6. You reach for the Jägermeister instead of Pepto Bismol. 7. You think family pictures taken at a castle are "so cliche." 8. You forgot how to use round doorknobs. 9. You forget how to flush a toilet that doesn't have a push button. 10. 100 MPH seems like you're driving really, really slow. 11. You no longer think it is strange that beer and water are the same price. 12. Even at home you don't put ice in your drinks. You never go shopping off base without a shopping bag or VAT form. 13. You NEVER shop on payday or the day before a German holiday. 14. You never leave home without your keys, ID card, license, and passport. 15. You think anything with chocolate sounds li
Funny As Hell
At first I was afraid, I was petrified.When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died!But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long, thatI grew strong, and I knew that I could take you on...But there you are, another lie,I was ready for a Big Mac and you've brought me a French fry!I should have known that it was bulls***t, just a sad pathetic dreamShould have known there was no Anaconda lurking in thoseJeans!Go on now - go! , Walk out the door,Don't you promise me 10 inches, then turn up with only 4!Weren't you a brat to think I wouldn't find you out!?Don't you know we're only joking when we say size don't count??!!I will survive! I will survive!Cuz as long as I have batteries,My sex life's gonna thrive!I will always have good sex,With a handful of latex!I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,When I saw your little wiener standing tall and proud!But to hell with your ego and to hell with all your needs,Now I'm savi
Fun On Cherrytap!
Fun On Fubar
ok so I have been so very busy lately! I moved into a great house with a Big E and nikki girl Been working And enjoying what I can of my summer But things are slowing down so I have more time to spend with my fu Friends and Family! MISSED YOU ALL SO MUCH please send me a shout or message on how your summer has been! MUCH love BLU! why is it so hard for some to relize this is a internet site lol I love this place it is a fun place to chat with alot of new and diffrent people.So why is it so hard for some of them to understand I dont take everything on here personal nor should they if dealing with me.You will know when you have crossed over into my real life.so for those having a hard time with it get over it!I have a life outside fubar.So if am not taking your fu marriage or flirting to heart it is nothing against you,there is no reason to hate on me lol ...Like I said you will know when you have crossed over and it means something to me.The number one reasons for
Fun Poem
Booty calls So you're in the mood to get some but you don't want to deal with all the games that go into it? Well, make your booty call follow this agreement and keep headaches at a minimum! The Pre-Booty Call Agreement This pre-booty call Agreement (hereinafter referred to as "The Agreement") is entered into on this ___day of ______________, 20 __, by ____________________, (hereinafter referred to as the "Participant") between ____________________, (hereinafter referred to as the "Holder of 'The Agreement'") and ____________________ (Participant). This Agreement shall cover the following rules and principles for the Participant: 1. No sleeping over!! Unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning. 2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening. 3. No calls before 9 pm. We don't have anything to talk about. 4. None of that "lovemaking" stuff, only mind-blowing sex allowed. 5. No emotional discussions!! i.e. whe
Fun Pix
A Fun Place!!
http://adultfriendfinder.com/main/gaspe12345 http://adultfriendfinder.com/reg/gaspe12345
Fun @ Pinkies
Join DJ SexyPinkMilf in Pinkie's... You are invited to join the Hottest Upscale Lounge on fubar. Be sure to click the banner below Join us Have fun Get Wet!! (repost of original by 'Phenomenal Woman/Pinkie~.:.~Owner of Pinkie's WET Lounge~.:.~' on '2007-11-03 16:34:52')
Fun Pix
Sexy Comments & Profile Graphics
Fun Place To Hang Out Pollywogg
just wanted to tell my friends about a cool place to visit if your ever in western ny it called "pollywog holler " it a bed and breakfast and ecolodge there will be photos on my site soon there is a main lodge and an assortment of out buildings ranging from sauna to love shack with a pizza bar and a wine bar they have bands on sunday afternoons and open wen nites if you decide to visit i'll be at the gate to greet any one oh ya they have a site at pollywoggholler.com
Fun Phone
hi guys if u are horny dont forget to check the web site out www.mytelephonediva.co.uk...
Fun Pieces
Pulsating moments when my mind and body compete against one another to see which will feed the fastest! Orgasmic thoughts transcend to physical movements, Explosive! Tick ... tick ... BOOOM! The intense moment that you understand this and the meaning behind it,is the transitioning period where you will crave me -- again.
Fun Quizs To Take
You scored as Dragon. You are a dragon. You very, VERY easily angered and are extremely protective. Take a chill pill and stop running around breathing fire on people. Chances are they're only trying to help you...Dragon100%Goddess92%Drow75%Vampyre67%Wolf58%Zombie58%Sorceress58%Faerie50%Elf50%Shadow Spirit17%What ancient breed are you?created with QuizFarm.com
Fun Quizzes
SLUT QUIZ Congratulations your a OFF OF THE SCALE MEGA SLUT You have given more rides than a second hand bicycle When you hear the word "Slut" you think someone is addressing you! You have been banged more times than your screen door! Your Motto: "Your TURN!" Your Sign: "Please Take A Number!" * Don't forget to pratice SAFE SEX! Better stock up on condoms and lube! And at your rate I am sure you can get volume discounts!Take The Slut Quiz Now!"Slut Quiz - Female" is available here***starXtest v2.0*** Guess Your Gender! (Really Works) Babe! You're a girl! Are you amazed? I bet you are! (If you're not, then you're most likely a guy... and if you're a guy then wow... just wow!)Take this quiz! Quizilla |
Fun Quizzes
1. What is your favorite beer? BUD ICE, CORONA (NOT REALLY A BEER DRINKING UNLESS IT'S MALT LIQUOR) 2. What is your favorite mixed drink? MUDSLIDES, WHITE RUSSIANS, MIDORI SOURS 3. What is your favorite shot? BUTTERY NIPPLE OR BLOWJOB 4. What will you NOT drink? JACK DANIELS, SOUTHERN COMFORT, JIM BEAN 5. Are you a lightweight when it comes to drinking? YEAH, I'LL ADMIT MY TOLERANCE ISN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE ANYMORE 6. Do you like the drinks with the little umbrellas? WELL DUH...I'M A GIRL :) 7. Do you ever drink Bacardi Silver? YES 8. Do you like frozen drinks? HELL YES!! 9. Do you drink liquor straight? ONLY IF IT'S GOLDSCHLAGER 10. Do you ever drink out of the bottle? JUST BEER, LOL. 11. Have you ever drank a jagerbomb? YES I HAVE 12. Are you drunk right now? CAN'T SAY THAT I AM 13: Do you ever consume more than 2 drinks a night? YEPPERS 14. Do you drink a lot of wine? YES I DO 15. When's the last time you drank? I HAD A DRINK
Fun Qiuzes
Your favorite thing to say in the bedroom is:We’re stuck again Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com Your Ultimate Purity Score Is... CategoryYour Score Average Self-Lovin'53.3%Explored the pleasures of the flesh 64.8%Shamelessness54.8%It takes a couple of drinks 78.9% Sex Drive 60.5%A fool for love, but not always77.3%Straightness5.4%Knows the other body type like a map 44% Gayness 32.1%At least one weekend of ecstacy 83.7% Fucking Sick68.1%Dipped into depravity 89.9%
Fun Quizes
You scored as You are an Angel of Pain. You are the Angel of Sadness. You have been hurt many times in your lifetime, if you could call it that. You are in an almost constant state of depression because of the hurt. You fell in love and they were either taken from you or chose another instead!You are an Angel of Pain100%Angel of Light75%You are half Fallen/ half Light Angel!63%You are an innocent Angel63%You are an Angel of Beauty63%What kind of Angel are you??(PICS)created with QuizFarm.com
Fun Quizs And Fun Stuff
What stereotype do you belong to? Your Result: No stereotype not preppy yet not a complete loser. has good friends and doesn't revolve life around their looks or social status. All around good person. usually liked by everyonePreppy geek/nerd Jock Gamer Punk Loner Emo
Fun Quiz
OK SO THIS IS KINDA COMPLICATED AND TO GET REAL HONEST OPNIONS I WILL HAVE TO TELL THE WHOLE STORY..........LAST DECEMBER A FRIEND OF MINE CALLED ME FROM ANOTHER COUNRY ASKING ME TO HELP HER WITH SOME MONEY SO SHE COULD GET BACK HOME ....WELL SINCE I WAS IN MY OWN PREDICAMENT I DECIDED I COULDN'T HELP HER OUT IT WAS EITHER HER OR LOSE MY PROPERTY,WELL AS MOST OF YOU KNOW I HAVE 3 KIDS AND IAM NOT ABOUT TO DO THAT !!! WELL SHE GOT MAD AT ME AND STOPPED TALKING TO ME UNTIL LASTNIGHT HER BF CALLED TO SPEAK TO MY HUSBAND (SHE CALLED MY CELL PHONE)WELL I THOUGHT SHE WAS MAD AT US???? SHOULDN'T I HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE UPSET TOO,BECAUSE SHE WAS ASKING ME TO MAKE A DECISION BETWEEN HER AND MY FAMILY ?!!!! SHOULD I TALK TO HER AND SEE IF SHE'S WILLING TO APOLOGIZE FOR ACTING THE WAY SHE DID ? HONEST OPINIONS ONLY !!! THANKS ~S.C.~ You are 5% Gold Digger You are not a gold digger. Love means a lot to you and you would never compromise your chance of true love by trying to seduce someon
A Fun Questionnaire
There's some mighty fine advice in these words, even if you're not superstitious. This has been sent To you for good luck from the Anthony Robbins organization.. It has been sent around the world ten times so Far. Do not keep this message. This must leave your hands in 6 MINUTES. Otherwise you will get a very unpleasant surprise. This is true, even if you are not superstitious, agnostic, or otherwise faith impaired. ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other. THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want. FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it. FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye. SIX.. Be engaged at least six months before you get married. SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight. EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
Fun Quiz
Basics:Name:the OnE and OnLY KaylaDate of Birth:Dec 19Birthplace:SCCurrent Location:Charleston SCEye Color:GreenHair Color:Dark BrownHeight:5 5Heritage:German & IrishPiercings:earsTattoos:yes one..soon to be 2Favourite:Band/Singer:lots..dont have just oneSong:same as aboveMovie:gaa i have lotsDisney Movie:lol umm really dont have oneTV show:Charmed, 4400, HerosColor:blue, black, pink, greenFood:spagetti, pizzaPizza topping:pepperoniIce-Cream Flavor:cinnabon or cookie doughDrink (alcoholic):Miller or BudSoda:water or anything dietStore:wet seal , hollister, rave, deb, body centralClothing Brand:see above Shoe Brand:dont have oneSeason:summer && fallMonth:summer ones && fall onesHoliday/Festival:christmas & thanksgivingFlower:Daisies or rosesMake-Up Item:eyeliner & lipglossBoard game:all of em!This or ThatSunny or rainy:SUNNYChocolate or vanilla:oh chocolate all the wayFruit or veggie:fruit..strawberries to be exactNight or day:bothSour or sweet:sweetLove or money:why not both?Phone or
A Fun Quiz
Donna's KIssing Booth Kissing is probably the most physically romantic two people can get. There really is no wrong way to kiss. The thing to remember is that everybody kisses differently and different people prefer different ways of kissing. Some people, believe it or not, are appalled at the idea of French Kissing or using your tongue while you kiss. While others can't imagine kissing without using your tongue. The thing is to try kissing that person a few times before deciding how you and your partner prefer kissing and to get used to the way that person kisses. A first kiss should always be done while the two of you are alone. This will help to avoid any unnecessary nervousness and embarrassing situations. The best type of kiss is one that uses different variations, such as starting with a small kiss, working into a French Kiss, maybe sucking on your partner's upper or lower lip, then trying the other two types. And don't just leave kisses to the lips. Kiss their cheeks, th
Fun Quizzes
Halloween Candy Quiz You are a Pumpkin Jelly Like the pumpkin jelly candy you are soft and gentle Find out which Halloween Candy you are at Quizopolis.com Which Deadly Sin Is Yours? Wrath Make war and not love is your motto. Better to rise up in anger and strike someone down than be pushed around. Find out your Deadly Sin at Quizopolis.com Your Princess Name is marie the Respected, Princess of Hathefell Get your Princess Name at Quizopolis.com
Fun Quiz
Job In Heaven Quiz Your job in heaven would be : Putting 20 dollar bills in people's pockets when they are on their last dime Find out what your job in heaven would be at Quizopolis.com
Fun Questionaire
Your Name: Age: Favorite position: 1. Do you think I'm cute?. 2. Would you have sex with me? 3. lights on or off? 4. Would you have to be drunk? 5.Would you take a shower with me? 6.Have you ever thought about having sex with me? 7.Would you leave after or stay the night? 8.Do you like cuddling afterwards? 9.Condom or skin? 10. Have sex on the first date? 11.Would you kiss me during sex? 12.Do you think I would be good in bed? 13. Would you use me as a booty call? 14.Can I use you as a booty call? 15.Can we take pictures of the act? 16.How long would we have sex? 17.Would you tell your friends about me? 18.Would you want me for a b/f , g/f or friend? 19.Will you post this so I can fill it out for you? 20. One thing that you would like to do to me if you were alone with me?
Fun Quizes & My Results
When Will I Die by QuizRocket.com fun quizzes! » » Internet Sweepstakes - IQ Tests - The Dumb Test « « Quizzes | Hollywood Movie Trivia Quizzes | Dumb MySpace Quizzes October 31, 2013: Scared to death. You are getting ready to go out with your friends when trick-or-treaters ring the doorbell. You hand out the candy and all the kids leave, except for one small boy. He is dressed in a very real-looking zombie clown costume and stands there, staring at you with his mouth open, breathing slowly and heavily. Slowly, he raises his hand and points. Just as the little boy is about to speak, your friend jumps up behind you and screams, "Boo!" You are so scared you have a heart attack and die. The little boy was just pointing to your friend who was sneaking up on you! Drink Quiz by QuizRocket.com fun quizzes! » » Internet Sweepstakes - IQ Tests - The Dumb Test « « Quizzes | Hollywood Movie Trivia Quizzes | Dumb MySpace Quizzes
Fun Reading
Potentially vs. Realistically: A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?" The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and ask your brother if he'd sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that." So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great college!" The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt! I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?!?!?" The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with To
The Fun Stuff That You Can Steal
"Naughty Horoscopes...I'm an Aries and have 9 ferrets LMAO Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept. 22)-- This is the MOST confused sign on the planet. This sign is pretty realistic: No Frills. They love to fuck in showers not because it's kinky...but because of hygenic reasons...they are big into sanitary issues. Every Virgo I have ever met has issues...always going back to hygiene. They have to arrange time in their busy schedules to have sex...But when a reservation is made...You had better be there on time, if not a little early. With flowers. And Clean. Virgos want to make their partner happy. That's it. USUALLY. You will always get a freaky Virgo. Even so, they will TRY to get YOU to cum. And if they can't make you cum, they will buy someone or something that will. Yes you read that right. They LIVE to masturbate...whether its you rubbing them, them rubbing you...them rubbing against your fox fur coat...whatever! Some Virgos WANT to be punished. They will do naughty things to be caught so th
Fun Stuff W/ Jack Bauer
1 When a convicted terrorist was sentenced to face Jack Bauer, he appealed to have the sentence reduced to death. 2 The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives. 3 Only Jack Bauer can fly a plane from the luggage compartment. 4 Life doesn't give Jack Bauer lemons. Life asks him which fruit he wants. 5 The 2007 budget for the US Military covers Jack Bauer, two pistols and four billion rounds of ammunition. 6 Passed out, surrounded by terrorists and nerve gas, and handcuffed to a table leg, Jack Bauer laughed to himself and said, "I have them right where I want them." 7 Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was. 8 Jack Bauer can break anyone and anything, but he will always break the protoc
Fun Stuff
You Are Low Maintenance Otherwise known as "too good to be true" You're one laid back chica - and men love that! Just remember that no good guy likes a dormat. So if you find your self going along to get along... Stop yourself and put up a little bit of a fight. Are You High Maintenance? You Are Likely a First Born At your darkest moments, you feel guilty. At work and school, you do best when you're researching. When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often. In friendship, you are considerate and compromising. Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking. You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream. The Birth Order Predictor Funny....I was the first born....lmao Your Perfume is Glow Fresh, sexy, and clean. You're real, intimate, and exciting. Your lush sensuality appeals to men... And you're as sexy as Jennifer Lopez. Power scents: Orange flower, grap
Fun Stuff
THis tag made for me by:Lady ShannonSHes cool,Ask her she might make you one too! >img src="http://a.pcb1.lostcherry.com/42/23/203224/50405822.jpg
Fun Stuff
Fun Stuff
Hey is there anyone in my area going out tonight? I'm looking for a good time!!! You Are 20% Pure You've either done it, thought about it, or at least heard about it. Luckily, there's a few things left for you to try! How Pure Are You?
Fun Stuff
Another badass quiz from eSPIN-the-Bottle... What's Wrong With You? MY RESULT:Too Friendly You’re very open with people, which is great, but sometimes those people are wearing brass knuckles, which is not great. You tend to think that people are generally good at heart, and because of that, you’re very trusting. People are drawn to your positive attitude and you tend to make friends easily. (You might also be a little vain, but hey, who could blame you? You’re a good-looking individual, and you have a right to be a little cocky about it.) So where could you go wrong? Well, if you’re too friendly, you might not be on alert for those folks you really shouldn’t trust. So try to use more caution when you meet new people. And quit trading gym socks with strangers. That’s just plain gross. Take This Quiz!
Fun Stuff 2
You Are 88% Lady No doubt about it, you are a lady with impeccable etiquette You know how to put others at ease, even if their manners aren't the greatest. Are You A Lady? Crissy's synonym -- absurd (... as in cool!) 'What is your synonym?' at QuizGalaxy.com Crissy will go to jail for ... Using your dildo as a weapon of mass destruction 'What sexual activity will you go to jail for?' at QuizUniverse.com
Fun Stuff
Each player of this game starts with 6 weird things or habits about themselves. People who are tagged should write a blog with their own 6 weird things or habits, and state this rule clearly. Choose 6 people to be tagged, list their names, leave them a comment and tell them they are tagged and to check your blog for details. It's fun! 1. I am scared of dead fish 2. I can't go to sleep without the TV on 3. I'm fascinated/obsessed by serial killers 4. I put chips on my tuna sandwiches 5. I sleep under the covers year round 6. I can unhook the mileage on cars/vans ggizmo69 Jmarie sweetgirls tan hammer Cet ~Ancient1~ 1.How old will you be in five years? omg....49 :*((((((( 3. How tall are you? 5'5 4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks? Thanksgiving 5. What's the last movie you saw? hmm, Just Friends 9. Do you prefer to call or text? text 10. Do you have any pets? yes 11. What were you doing at 12am last night? watching TV
Fun Stuff
sorry about miss labeling this as fun stuff , it isnt, but i wanna give out a heart warming get well soon to a very close friend of mine...gemini twin, please send him some love ..please im beggin here.......... thx u all I was tagged by blackroses. heres the rules ,list six weird things or habits about yourself, list six friends you would like to play tag them and comment so they will check the blog for details. Here Goes: 1.Im stuck in the 80's! 2. i hate needles, but crave to get inked! 3. i run like a duck! 4. i shot my self in the ass with a 22. (dont ask) 5. i live to watch the TV show Cops! 6. to me there is no other team then the blackhawks, and the sox! so u guys know im gonna start cleaning my lists of friends etc.. on my pro... since friends etc.. have come and gone and left... time to clean house... so im giving 30-45 days for ppl to let me know if they wanna stay or not... let me know if not.. well bye...me
Fun Stuff
I was tagged by Metalmania321. Here's the rules ,list six weird things or habits about yourself, list six friends you would like to play tag them and comment so they will check the blog for details. Here Goes: 1. I'm stuck in the 80's! 2. I love long hair on men, but hate too much hair on their bodies. 3. I'm hooked on watching Dog the Bounty Hunter and cops...gotta love em. 4. I get extremely giddy and silly when I'm overtired. 5. I'm too stubborn for my own good. 6. I'm very sentimental and a hopeless romantic. I saw this poem posted in a bulletin, and I really love it. I can't take any credit for it because I did Not write it. I wish I knew who did, because it's a great poem about FRIENDSHIP, so I put this in my blog to dedicate it to ALL of my AMAZING FRIENDS. A Friend is someone special Sharing moments that are precious Always true, yet like a perfect diamond Are rare and few Unconditional times are spent Through laughter and tears These memories will last Throug
Fun Stuff
ADULT QUESTIONS HERE. IF YOU CAN'T TAKE IT, DON'T READ! Most surveys are pointless and childish......lets see what kinda balls (or eggs) ya got!!! 1. How many people have you fucked? 12 2. Weed, coke, crack, heroin, oxy, acid, x, k, peyote, mushrooms, opium, hash....out of these 12 drugs how many have you done? 2 3. Ever cheated on a GF/BF? no 4. Ever paid for sex? no 5. Ever been married? yes 6. Ever been divorced? will be soon 7. If you had to pick one whats your fav sexual position? doggie with my hair being pulled 8. Do you own any guns? no 9. Ever done more than 30 days in jail? no 10. Ever been to rehab? no 11. Ever do anything gay sexually? nope 12. Ever fuck anyone that you met on myspace or aol or anyother instant message service? yep 14. Ever have cam sex? no 16. Ever been unemployed for over a year since becoming an adult? no 17. How many states have you lived in? 1 18. How many countries have you lived in? 1 19
Fun Stuff.
Hey my Cherry-flavored friends. I'm back sooner than later. So I hope that I wasn't away too long for you all to forget me. I'll have to catch up on my stalk...I mean, visiting all of your profiles again. See you soon and it's great to be back. ;) This is just a quick thank you blog to all those who had came by and busted your asses to help me get closer to Godfather while I had my auto-11 on. I can't thank you enough for taking time out of your fu-roaming to rate the hell out of my pics. I know that I've got a whole lot of people to thank and I will send you a thank you to each one of you. I know who you are and be on the lookout from something from me soon. It sucks that I have to go to work soon or else I would give you all a proper thank you on this blog...but I just thought I'd let you know how much your time means to me when I can right now. Once again, thank you. And I will put up a proper blog of thanks soon. :) D.I.R.T.Y. wouldn't steer you wrong. Come check my
Fun Shit
What alcohol are you?? GREY GOOSEFine, fine alcohol! You like to tear up the Goose and be all loose. You know how to get the party started!! Take this test
Fun Stuff
Ok guys...... this one is for you! lol Let's see whatcha got..... do ya have what it takes to 'measure it up' or are ya chickennnn bock bock lol Instructions: print out the pic below and measure it up! *send pics to me via cmail* LOL C'mon now, let's see!! lol Daily Horoscope: Libra For June 1,2007 You thought you wanted one thing, but now something surprising has happened and it turns out you want something else entirely. Well, who'd have predicted that? Accept that your destiny has surprising twists and turns. lol Any guesses as to what exactly this surprising thing is? ...or what I want now? lol. MEN ARE LIKE TOILETS..... THEY'RE EITHER : DIRTY, UNAVAILABLE, OUT-OF-ORDER OR FULL OF SHIT! LMAO ( I GOT THIS IN A TEXT MESSAGE, JUST WANTED TO PASS IT ALONG ) HAHAHAAA.
Fun Stuff
This is my good friend game over can you please come help him out in his contest My Girl ~JellyBean~ made this. Why do men feel that it's ok to call us lady's Attention Whore's ?? men are the biggest ATTENTION WHORE'S on the face of this earth. RUSH DID THIS ONE Dear Friend's.I just got on to say hello.And to see how everyone was doing. I have been real busy with work. so that is why i have not been on here.But i would like to also add that im friend's with 2 people that don't like one another right now. And i hope in do time this will pass.I had talk to her on yahoo and told her i was joined back up. She told me that her and a good friend of her's were no longer friend's.I had asked her what should i do. that it was all up to her since we have been talking for along time now she had told me that she was not going to make me pick between friend's and that was not right,I feel that take's a real big person to stand up and say that.Well my friend's i need to get g
Fun Stuff
[font color="red" face="Comic Sans MS" size="2"] you got to change [] to < > for it to work thanks for the code lone wolf just blogging it cos i keep for getting it!!!! [font color="fc04a7" face="Comic Sans MS" size="3"]pink ok i got tagged by Art & Lucky!!!!!(and i'm still walking funny) Instructions...... Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird or random things, facts, or habits about yourself. At the end, you choose at least 5 people to be tagged, listing their names . Don't forget to leave a comment that says, "You're it!" on their profile and ask them to read your blog. You can't tag the person who tagged you. 1. i'm good at listening to people 2. i will offer advice when i can and sometimes even if you don't want it 3. i love my kids 4. i have a fear of spiders (what do they need all them legs for) 5. i enjoy my work (even if i want to sell the kids every now and again) 6. if i drink i get depressed so gave that up
Fun Stuff 3
You scored as Hot. You are Hot, you scream and are wild, people love doing anything sexual with you.Hot88%Soft75%Sweet69%Exciting63%Shy56%Wet25%Violent6%Awkward0%What is your sexual style?created with QuizFarm.com This was written by a black guy in Texas and is so funny. What a great sense of humor and creativity!!! When I born, I black, when I grow up, I black, when I go in sun, I black, when I cold, I black, when I scared, I black, when I sick, I black, and when I die, I still black. You white folks... When you born, you pink, when you grow up, you white, when you go in sun, you red, when you cold, you blue, when you scared, you yellow, when you sick, you green, when you bruised, you purple, and when you die, you gray. So who you callin' colored folks??? A guy got on a plane and found himself seated next to a cute blonde. He immediately turned to her and made his move? "You know," he said, "I've h
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Jocelyn Wood-Rothanburg Location of Death: Chaska, MN Date of Death: 12/12/2030 1:04:42 PM Last Person Called: Randy Last Number Dialed: (952) 658-007* Autoposy Performed: Yes Date of Autoposy: 12/12/2030 1:04:42 PM Cause of Death: Carbon Minoxide Poisoning See your own death. Or Try this Awsome Game Your Driving Is is: 71% Male, 29% Female
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iSee what your stripper name will be We all need a little stress-reliever! This only takes a minute. Please don't be a prude and ruin it. Send it on to everyone you know including the person that sent it to you. Here is your dose of humor... A. Follow the instructions to find your new name. B. Once you have your new name, put it in the subject box and forward it to friends and family and co-workers. Don't forget to forward it back to the person who sent it to you, so they know you participated. 1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name: a = Fantasia b = Chesty c = Starr d = Diamond e = Montana f = Angel g = Sugar h = Mimi i = Lola j =Kitty k = Roxie l = Dallas m = Princess n = Heidi o = Bambi p = Bunny q = Brandy r = Sugar s = Candy t = Raquelle u = Sapphire v = Cinnamon w = Blaze x = Trixie y = Isis z = Jade 2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name: a =
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Even if you are single or not. Whoever wants to go out with you will message you saying "I would go out with you" Repost this in 90 sec you will be surprised who replys 2 you. even if u have a boyfriend or girlfriend PS. must do even if your taken.
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A Pagan dies and, to his great surprise, he finds himself standing before a set of pearly gates. St. Peter asks him, "May I help you?" The Pagan asks, "Where am I?" Peter says, "You're at the gates of heaven." "But I don't believe in heaven," says the Pagan. Peter frowns at him. "You're one of those Pagans, aren't you?" "Yes. I believe I'm in the wrong place; I'm supposed to go to Summerland." Peter says, "Sorry. We took over Summerland, and it's temporarily closed for remodeling." "What should I do now?" Peter says, "Well, since we don't allow Pagans in heaven, you have to go to hell. Sorry. Just follow that path that leads downward and to the left." The Pagan walks down to hell, where the gates are standing open. He walks in and finds beautiful meadows, happy animals, and clear streams of water. He walks on in and begins exploring, and after a few minutes a courtly gentleman walks up to him and bows politely. "Hello, I'm Satan. You must be
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here is a super gay, annoying survey for your entertainment. answer it and repost it, bastards! see the link at the end... 1. Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the face of the Earth? 2. How do you flush the toilet in public? 3. Do you wear your seatbelt in the car? 4. Do you have a crush on someone? Sure ;) 5. Name one thing that you start to get tense about if you are close to running out of it? 6. What famous person do you (or other people) think you resemble? 7. Do you crack your knuckles? 8. What song do you hate the most when it gets stuck in your head? 9. Did just mentioning that song make it get stuck in your head? 10. What are your super powers? 11. Peppermint or spearmint? Spearmint 12. Where are your car keys? 13. Whose answers to this questionnaire do you want to hear? 14. What's your most annoying habit? 15. Where did you last go on vacation? 16. If you could punch one person in the nose and ge
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It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started. During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup." . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?" DID YOU PASS THE TEST, OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE A freshman at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair, April 26. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to
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You have a sexual IQ of 153 When it comes to sex, you are a super genius. You have had a lot of experience, and sex interests you so you know a lot about it. You pride yourself on being a source of information and guidance to all of your friends. Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com Elizabeth -- [adjective]:Fetish oriented 'How will you be defined in the sexual dictionary?' at QuizUniverse.com Your Birthdate: April 21 You're a restless rebel with an unpredictable nature. Bright but unbridled, you tend to seek out wild experiences over new ideas. People are frustrated by your great potential, but you love your unconventional life. You're a heartbreaker. People get attached to you, and then you're gone. Your strength: Your thirst for adventure Your weakness: Not taking time for slow pleasures Your power color: Hot pink Your power symbol: Figure eight Your power month: March What Does Your Birth Date Mean?
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You scored as Justice (Fairness). Your life is guided by the concept of Fair Justice: Everyone, yourself included, should be rewarded and punished according to the help or harm they cause. "He who does not punish evil commands it to be done." --Leonardo da Vinci “Though force can protect in emergency, only justice, fairness, consideration and cooperation can finally lead men to the dawn of eternal peace.” --Dwight D. Eisenhower More info at Arocoun's Wikipedia User Page...Justice (Fairness)90%Hedonism85%Existentialism80%Utilitarianism60%Kantianism55%Strong Egoism55%Divine Command40%Nihilism30%Apathy20%What philosophy do you follow? (v1.03)
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I will be holding a contest for the best morph on CT. This contest is open to anyone and everyone on CT. There will be many prizes given out. It will run for 3 days! Starting on Thursday the 10th at 12pm and will run till Sunday at 12am. Each contestant will recieve a random gift for just participating in the contest. The Prizes!!!!! A prize will be handed out for 1st, 2nd and 3rd place! First place: You will recieve a corvette, a rolex, and diamond ring (female) or a mens ring (male) Second place: You will recieve a Silver motorcycle, a rolex and a ring Third Place: You will recieve a rolex and a ring. A few rules for the morphs: 1. Cannot be NSFW. 2. Must be a morph of you. Ok, those rules aren't that bad :) You can rate and comment on your own morph also! If you are interested in participating in this contest, please stop by my page and let me know which morph you want to use for the contest! DrunkenAcid **Fan me, rate me, add me! :) **@ CherryT
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Attorneys Questions Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses: "Now Doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?" ------------------------------- "The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?" ------------------------------- "Were you present when your picture was taken?" ------------------------------- "Were you alone or by yourself?" ------------------------------- "Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?" ------------------------------- "Did he kill you?" ------------------------------- "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?" ------------------------------- "You were there until the time you left, is that true?" -------------
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Courtesy of MsTags.com
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Fun + Shizet
Which Vampire Clan from The Masquerade do you belong to?created with QuizFarm.com You scored as TremereYou belong to Clan tremere: Power lies in the supernatural which many doesn't understand. You wish to seek knowledge within book and your montor/teacher. Perhaps you seek to much Brujah 100%Toreador 100%Ventrue 100%Tremere 100%Lasombra 86%Malkavian 86%Gangrel 71%Tzimisce 57%Nosferatu 43%
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EJP's Summer Bash Has Just Got Better! Saturday, August 4th This year's Bash is going to be the biggest and baddest one yet. This event is open to all 4x4 Jeeps/trucks, and spectators. You can bring your 4x4 and try out all of the different obstacles... Mud pits, obstacle course, hill drags, and RTI ramp. This event is for all experience levels. Experienced drivers: Come out and have some fun. Drivers that are new to four-wheeling: Don't worry, there will be people at each event to help you out, and a tractor to pull you out WHEN you get stuck. If getting dirty isn't your thing, we are also having a Show 'n Shine. Trophies will be given out for categories like: Best-in Show, Most Trail Ready, Muddiest, Ugliest, etc. As the offroad events wind to a close, there will be two AWESOME local bands playing: Moneyshot and Next of Kin! Once the sun goes down, there will be overnight camping and a bonfire. See www.eriejeeppeople.com for more details!
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A 6 year-old and 4 year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. 'You know what?' says the 6 year-old. 'I think it's about time we started cussing.' The 4 year-old nods his head in approval. The 6 year-old continues, 'When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with 'hell' and you say something with 'ass.' The 4 year-old agrees with enthusiasm. When their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year-old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, 'Aw hell Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios. Whack! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, jumps up and runs upstairs crying his eyes out with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. She locks him in his room and shouts, You can stay in there until I let you out.' She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year-old and asks with a stern voice, 'And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?' 'I don't know,' he blubbers, 'but you can bet your fat ass it
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hey all my fubarian friends and such! I am gonna make a new album here on fubar entitled "My Fubarians". I would like to rip a photo from my nearest and dearest so that all can see who holds my heart here. If you are up for this idea, let me know which pic I can rip so I can place in my album and more so into my heart! lixx and such to yall running a contest of my own, person to show me the most luv in an unusual fashion by my b-day will get a nsfw pic folder. try: comments blasts links well, i never thought about it before but there is a comfort in the single life. I have one friend who could be more, but why push it? We are comfy doing things or just kickin back doing nothing. If I throw in a relationship, will that comfy old t-shirt feeling stay? i doubt it. Soo I say yea for the single life, easier to stay Sane this way! lixx and such
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My result for Are You a Music Buff? is You are the Greatest Music BuffMusic flows along with the blood in your veins. You cannot imagine life without music. With such a great passion for music, you could seriously think of building a career around music. That is certainly your idea of the happiest life.Are You a Music Buff? created by QuizCat.Com - Quizzes, Surveys, Tests, Trivias I saw this pic and laughed....it's a good one for me!!!LOL!!! ok...this one too.... lol..ok and this one.... So, I found a game on someones page that is incredibly addicting to me. Especially if you are bored and just aimlessly staring at your pc. Thought I'd share with everyone else that may be bored. Trust me,once you start you have to play more than once...lol...
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The porno of Hailey's life will be called ... "Celebrity Strip Poker" 'What will the porno of your life be called?' at QuizUniverse.com Hailey will go to jail for ... Sunbathing naked without sunscreen 'What sexual activity will you go to jail for?' at QuizUniverse.com You have a sexual IQ of 134 When it comes to sex, you are a super genius. You have had a lot of experience, and sex interests you so you know a lot about it. You pride yourself on being a source of information and guidance to all of your friends. Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com Hailey -- [adjective]:Insatiable to the point of crazy 'How will you be defined in the sexual dictionary?' at QuizUniverse.com
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BOOTY CALL APPLICATION The Booty Call Agreement: This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to herein as the “Agreement”) is entered into as of the _________ day of __________, 20____. 1. No sleeping over. 2. No meeting in public. 3. No calls I will call you!! 4. None of that “love making” shit. 5. No emotional discussions… (Where are we heading with this? You know where we it is heading!! Straight to the bedroom or truck.) 6. No plans made in advance… that’s why you’re called the “backup”. 7. No non-sexual gifts. (Altoids and candles not included.) 8. No baby talk. (However, dirty talk is encouraged.) 9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers (In fact, no conversations are a plus) 10. No kissing (too intimate) 11. No calling each other “friends with benefits” (We are not friends, and we never will be.) 12. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK. (Phrases such as, “honestly I was thinking about “Orlando Bloom/Brad Pitt” are complete
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TRUTH OR DARE So here's the deal...You get to ask me *How Ever Many Questions You Want!**, no matter how crazy, inappropriate, or just random, and I promise to answer it 100% truthfully (thats the "truth" part) ....now I dare you to repost this and see what people ask you. _________________________________________________ Yes Im bored oh well thats what this is for have fun with it. ask your ?s lol Ill send anyone who ask a message with the answer or answers depending on the amout of ? s you all ask, keep in mind for those of you that do know much about me. Its a great way to get to know ;) take care all you lovly peope have a GREAT day! ~XOXOX~ Natalie
Fun Stories By Her
It had been two weeks, so I was really excited to see him. I got in the car and just as I went to buckle my seat belt, I felt his hand resting on my thigh. With one hand on the wheel, his other hand fiddled with my skirt and slid over my soft, waxed cunt. For the rest of the ride back to his house he kept sliding his fingers back and forth along my pussy. We desperately needed to be alone, so after a few hellos we snuck downstairs. He kissed me sensually as he took off my skirt. His pants dropped to the floor as he pushed me forward, making me bend over the leather chair. He circled my nipples with his fingertips and then slowly pushed my legs apart. I felt his cock rubbing up against my ass. I looked over my shoulder and saw him stroking himself, inching towards me. I pushed away his hand when he started to press his finger in my ass hole. I didn't need any preparation. I wanted to feel his hard cock in me; I wanted him to use me. My hands and knees on t
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THESE ARE SOME WONDERFUL PEOPLE TO YOUR LIST. IF IT WEREN'T FOR THEM WE WOULDN'T BE FREE.. BE SURE TO THANK THEM TOO.. SUPPORT UR TROOPS@ CherryTAP
Funster Dripped Here... Plz Rate Or Comment
Anyone know who wrote this....?? We lose our health in search of wealth. We scheme, toil and save. Then squander wealth to keep our health All we get is a grave. We live and boast of what we own. We die and only get a stone. If anyone can shed some light on the original author please do.... Thanks WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline) Linda B. 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The man called the paramed
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Men See You As Desirable Men often find you immediately attractive and sensual You're honesty is refreshingly beautiful ... it draws guys in You are also able to be open with your feelings with no emotional baggage Packing light means you enjoy new relationships easily How Do Men See You? NAUGHTY APPLiCATiON" ***Best one will get a reply*** 1. Your Name: 2. Age: 3. Favorite position (s)? 4. Do you think I'm hot? 5. Would you have sex with me? 6. lights on or off? 7. Would you have to be drunk? 8. Would you take a shower with me? 9. Have you ever thought about having sex with me? 10. Would you leave after or stay the night? 11. Do you like cuddling afterwards? 12. Condom or skin? 13. Do you give Oral pleasures? 14. Do you like to receive Oral Pleasures? 15. Have sex on the first date? 16. Would you kiss me during sex? 17. Do you think I would be good in bed? 18. Threesome? 20. How many times would you like to cu
Fun Stars 5-10-07
Being a masochist stinks, especially when it's happening over a situation you've encountered before. However, the stars say your luck is about to change if you're willing to own up to your part in what's happened. thought this was funny seemings how i'm supposed to go to church (HA!!!!!) and have marrital councelling with a man that won't let me have my divorce a man that is so delusional, he actually thinks he stands any hope of ever being aloud back into my life again. maybe he should have thought twice before becoming violent
Fun Stars 5-11-07
Waiting, wishing and hoping are all fun as hobbies, but they can get pretty frustrating if no action is taken. It's time to get grounded and figure out a game plan so you can get there instead of fantasizing about it. So, ok folks......if your in the Austin area and need extra help ie- housework or daycare.....or even know of an employer that would consider hiring me plz give me a buzz
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Me: Queen of the hop, belle of the ball, all the above or none at all. She'll fringe your leather, chap your hide. But make no mistake, the bitch can ride. Tequila's her poison, no salt, no lime, While others pass out, she's reachin' her prime. Her badge of honor, her source of pride, when brothers admit, the bitch can ride. She has her daddy's wanderin' way, has her momma's soul, But when she's backed against the wall, the girl can rock n roll. And if she takes you for your word, then finds out that you lied, Best you stay off of the road, you know the bitch can ride. Likes to wear her leather tight, as if it had been sprayed. Ain't no use in judging 'cause her dues have long been paid. Righteous is the lady, who will never be denied. Pound for pound, toe to toe, it's known the bitch can ride. Those who try to 'make a move' find themselves frustrated. She quickly makes it known to 'those,' I'm unaffiliated. Leaves 'em all with egos, that want to run and
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A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar..the priest says "Have you heard the one about us". NAUGHTY APPLiCATiON" ***Best one will get a reply*** 1. Your Name: 2. Age: 3. Favorite position (s)? 4. Do you think I'm hot? 5. Would you have sex with me? 6. lights on or off? 7. Would you have to be drunk? 8. Would you take a shower with me? 9. Have you ever thought about having sex with me? 10. Would you leave after or stay the night? 11. Do you like cuddling afterwards? 12. Condom or skin? 13. Do you give Oral pleasures? 14. Do you like to receive Oral Pleasures? 15. Have sex on the first date? 16. Would you kiss me during sex? 17. Do you think I would be good in bed? 18. Threesome? 20. How many times would you like to cum? 21. Would you use me as a booty call? 21. Can I use you as a booty call? 22. Do you like foreplay? 23. What is foreplay to you? 24. Can we take pictures of the act? 25. Will you post thi
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Fun Stuff For The Adventurous
i missed some of this....disappeared before i could capture it: ->The Carver: it isn't required to have a conversation The Carver: sorry im not hot ->The Carver: sorry i'm married The Carver: sorry im not hot female ->The Carver: yes and not turning it on ->The Carver: it isn't required to have a conversation the part i missed was him asking: "can i ask a favor" lol...and it isn't even noon yet. i just got a friend request along with this fu-mail. i guess he didn't read the profile. Date: Sun, 14 Oct 2007 23:04:56 -0700 From: Size: 2 KB To: sorcery@fubar.com Reply-To: how are you you are so beauty and charming liked to talk with you do u use msn or yahoo messenger? if u wanna add me reistarik@msn.com and reistarik@yahoo.com mines...wait your reply....!!! i have a cam too if u wanna see em !!! it's good for a bit of the giggles though after four years together (which we were fortunate to have made it to)it appears the marriage is ending. it is
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Your Movie Buff Quotient: 88% You are a movie buff of the most obsessive variety. If a movie exists, chances are that you've seen it. You're an expert on movie facts and trivia. It's hard to stump you with a question about film. Are You a Movie Buff? What Dava Means D is for Delicious A is for Alert V is for Vigorous A is for Astounding What Does Your Name Mean? You Would Choose Love Money may buy a little happiness, but not the happiness of true love. You rather have a true soulmate than a private jet. And while many people may claim they would choose love too... You're one of the few who would really do it. Would You Choose Love or Money?
Fun Stuff...quizzes, Ect
You Are Lacy Panties You're one seductive chica, but you've also got a ton of class. You are like a pinup girl, with timeless beauty and sexiness. Men are afraid to talk to you, knowing they'll be addicted to your charm immediately. Only a true manly man, confident in himself, is your perfect match. What Kind of Panties Are You? Grab your cell phone and get ready! What is your current ringtone? THE WAY I ARE~Timbaland What is your current wallpaper?Dallas for my main Do you own a picture phone? Yes If so, what was the last picture you took?A picture for Dallas yesterday Go to your inbox and type what the 10th text message says? Ok you have fun *lol* How many contacts do you have on your phone? lol a few Who was the last person you spoke to on your cell phone?Will my bouncer at the club here What service do you have? Sprint At this very moment, how many bars do you have for your service? bars? lol Who's on your speed dial numbers?Dalla
Fun Sex Facts
1) 94% of men lie about their penis size. According to condom manufacturers, only 6% of men need to use extra large condoms. 2) The average man is 4-5 inches long when erect; no matter what you have heard ladies, that's the truth. Incidentally the average vaginal capactity is only 6 inches, for you women who think you can handle king dong. 3) 80% of American men are circumsized, though Pediatrics say it is not necessary. 4) No matter what all the ads say nothing but time can make your penis grow. (most men reach the end of their growth by the early 20's) 5) There is no correlation between penis size and shoe size, hand size, or nose size. 6) Blue balls does exist! It's technically called "prostatic congestion." 7) Only 16% of men shave their privates. - THiNGS MEN MiGHT WANT TO KNOW - 1) Only 9% of women around the globe consider themselves "attractive" (20% of British women do). 43% of women use the term "natural", 24% say they have "average" looks, 8% prefer
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I'M A CAPRICORN!!!!!! LOL ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Taurus (April 20 - May 20) --Don't tease them. It will only piss them off. Taureans are realists. If you say that you are horny: Prepare to be fucked. Taureans are heavy indulgers, though. All forms of indulgence: Sex-drugs-wine-food...whatever their vice may be: they simply cannot get enough. They do not believe in moderation. They will fuck until they are sore. Taurus likes to have sex just for the sake of having sex. What they lack in originality, they make up for in stamina and endurance. Okay...so they may not be into bondage, okay? But they WILL lick you until you have at least three orgasms or until you pass out...whichever comes first. Taurus uses their tongue for EVERYthing...and I mean that. They love to lick people in whipped cream, alcohol, chocolate, flesh and candy???Bring it on! Caution: They are looking for a relationship so be kind to them. They also have a BIG wet th
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Okay so heres an update i havent been on here in a while, i had to make a new cherry tap profile cause i couldnt remeber the passowrd and shit to my old one. Anyways i finaly got a job, i work at pudgees its a bar and resturant as a waitress on the airforce base where i live, I love it so far the girls i work with are really nice i make decent money and decent tips too. I needed a job, and it feels so good to work again. Scott and i are doing absoulutly wounderful he and i went to pudgees tomeet up with a few friends, and he danced with me which he never does cause he hates dancing lol. I had so much fun tho dancing, like noone was watching and even if they were oh well i aint embarrased, i admit i CAN dance very well just ask "vickie" lol. My legs are killing me tho. hehehe. Ive met some awesome people in the past 3 months too, chad, leezy, lester, amber H, jen, they have been amazing friends and awesome drinking buddies. I have also gotten more self confidence and self esteem, too in
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What Do Boys Like About You? (real answers) Boys like that you're charming!You have that 'sexy' appeal about you that make boys crazy!You seem to connect w. everyone you meet.MEEEOOORRRWWWW!!! (=^.^=)Take this quiz! Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code You Are 50% Redneck You're just about as welcome up in town as a hair in a biscuit. Ain't no hidin' your redneck roots! How Redneck Are You?
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You have a sexual IQ of 157 When it comes to sex, you are a super genius. You have had a lot of experience, and sex interests you so you know a lot about it. You pride yourself on being a source of information and guidance to all of your friends. Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com
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She whispered "will it hurt me?" "Of course not" answered he "It's a very simple process, You can rely on me." She said "I'm very frightened, I've not had this before. My friend has had it five times And said it can be sore." It was growing rather painful Tears formed in her eyes It was hurting quite a bit now It must have been a size. "Calm yourself" he whispered "His face filled with a grin "Try and open wider So I can get it in." "It's coming now" he whispered "I know" she cried in bliss Feeling it deep within her now She said "I am glad I'm having this." And with a final effort She gave a frightened shout He gripped it in anguish And quickly pulled it out. She lay back quite contended Sighed and gave a smile She said "I'm glad I came now You made it worth my while." Now if you read this carefully The dentist you will find Is not what you imagined It's just your dirty mind!! 1. Your Name: 2. Age:
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A totem animal is different than a birth totem. A birth totem is just that, a totem animal that follows the sign of your birth. A totem animal is your "power animal", one which comes to you in different situations such as: A dream A vision A quest But it must come to you more than once, and never display anger. Its purpose is to guide you on your path. The next time you dream of your power animal, or see it in a vision, talk to it and allow it to guide you. ~Totem Animals~ WOLF - Earth wisdom, protection BEAR - Healing, Inner knowing FOX - Elusiveness, ogility, cleverness HAWK - Perception, Focus, protection MOUSE - Innocence, faith, trust EAGLE - High ideals, spiritual philosophy DOLPHIN - Psychic abilities, initiators HERON - Intuition, organization HORSE - Stability, courage RABBIT - faith, nurturance JAGUAR - shamanic wisdom, focused power DEER - physical pacing, body awareness RAVEN - Inner journeys, dreams OWL - symbolic wi
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if you like to be on line and you like to chat with people and share you stuff blogs pics ect check this out click on the banner
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Get Your Own! | More Flash Toys Will yall vote for my pooch, Panzy please??? http://www.spaydayusa.org/bin/Rate?image_id=1003141486 .)Q. Can you cook? 1.)A. Yes very well too 2.)Q. What was your dream growing up? 2.)A. to have lots of horses...i do too 3.)Q. What talent do you wish you had? 3.)A.sing 4.)Q. If I bought you a drink what would it be? 4.)A. beer or sweet tea 5.)Q. Favorite vegetable? 5.)A.broccoli or corn 6.)Q. What was the last book you read? 6.)A. dark horse 7.)Q. What zodiac sign are you ? 7.)A. Leo!!! 8.)Q. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? 8.)A. ears ...no ink 9.)Q. Worst Habit? 9.)A. bein lazy 10.)Q. If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride? 10.)A. dunno 11.)Q. What is your favorite sport? 11.)A. horse racing' 12.)Q. Negative or Optimistic attitude? 12.)A. optimstic but sometimes not so much so 13.)Q. What would you do if you were stuck in an el
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[x] You were born in SA [] You drink Farmer's Union Iced Coffee [x] You meet people at the "Malls Balls" [] At least half of your neighbours were born before 1950 [] You grew up on Fritz & sauce sangas? [] You eat Fruchocs [] You've never watched NRL [x] You've been to the Christmas Pagent [] You drink Coopers...(if hav to drink beer lol) [] It's the best beer in the world? [x ] You consider 40 degrees to be a bit warm [] You've eaten a Balfour's frog cake [] You find it hard to tell whether or not marijuana is illegal [] You know that a berliner is something you eat [] You miss Magic Mountain [x] You've driven a Holden or its your family car [] You like YoYo biscuits [x] You have a Hills Hoist in your backyard [] The opening of a new airport is an exciting event for you [x] You can drink SA tap water without noticing any unpleasant flavours [] You call the corner store a 'deli'? [] You pronounce graph as "grarph", plant as
Fun Surveys
1. What's the worst thing about hugs? NOTHING, EXCEPT THEY ALWAYS END. 2. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? YES, OFCOURSE 3. What did your day consist of? IT'S JUST BEGINING 4. Did you talk to anybody random? YES 5. Did any particular thing brighten up your day? HUG AND KISS MY LOVE 6. What's the stupidest thing you've ever done? MAY 18 2001 7. Did your last outing involve the police? NOPE 8.What color are your eyes? BROWNISH GREEN 9. Do you make every decision as if your parents are watching you? NOPE 10. Do you love any body more than words can say? YES I DO! 11. Have you ever gotten the butterflies? EVERYDAY! WHEN I LOOK INTO MY HUSBANDS EYES. 12. What were you doing at 12 AM four days ago? PROB SLEEPING, LOL 13. Do you sleep with socks or shoes on? NOPE 14. If you could change anything about your past would you? NO I WOULDN'T - I JUST WISH SOMETHINGS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED. 15. Do you bail on people often? NOPE
Funseeker
The ULTIMATE NAUGHTY QUIZ! Fill it out and send it to me in a message, and repost to see what people put for you! 1. Your Name: 2. Age: 3. How often do you maturbate? 4. Favorite position (s) ? 5. Do you think i'm hot? 6. Would you have sex with me? 7. lights on or off? 8. Would you have to be drunk? 9. Would you take a shower with me? 10. Have you ever thought about having sex with me? 11. Would you leave after or stay the night? 12. Do you like cuddling afterwards? 13. Condom or skin? 14. Do you give Oral pleasures? 15. Do you like to recieve Oral Pleasures? 16. Have sex on the first date? 17. Would you kiss me during sex? 18. Do you think I would be good in bed? 19. Would u have a 3-some with me? 20. How many times would you like to cum? 21. Would you use me as a booty call? 22. Do you like fore play? 23. What is fore play to you? 24. Can we take pictures of the act? 25. Would you send me nude pics if I gave
Fun Stuff
http://fubar.com/viewimage.php?u=165131&albumid=721539&i=1447304278 click on the link, i need help with comments in this contest...please come bomb...thanks 20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on, and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds" 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." 8. Don t use any punctuation 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water with a serious face whenever you go out to eat. 11. Specify Tha
Fun Stuff
The Right Brain vs Left Brain test ... do you see the dancer turning clockwise or counter-clockwise? If clockwise, then you use more of the right side of the brain and vice versa. Most of us would see the dancer turning counter-clockwise though you can try to focus and change the direction; see if you can do it. LEFT BRAIN FUNCTIONS........ RIGHT BRAIN FUNCTIONS uses logic........................... uses feeling detail oriented............."big picture" oriented facts rule.......................imagination rules words and language..............symbols and images present and past................present and future math and science.............philosophy & religion can comprehend......... can "get it" (i.e. meaning) knowing.................................. believes acknowledges...........................appreciates order/pattern perception........spatial perception knows object name............knows object function reality based........................fantasy based
Fun....sort Of
Fun Stuff To Do!
1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with? Yes 2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night? doesn't matter....when the mood strikes! 3. What side of the bed do you sleep on? in the middle mostly I think, but sometimes on the edge one side or the other 4. Pork, beef, or chicken? depends on the dish 5. Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke? YES 6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money? guess you could say that, if you wanted to get real technical about it 7. Shower or bath? Shower 8. Do you pee in the shower? I Have..NOT if someone else is in there with me..lmao 9. Mexican or Oriental girl? I'm not real sure what this means, so I won't answer this one! 10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed? aggressive...but also slowly romantic..thats a hard question to answer.. 11. Do you love someone on your friends list? Yes 12. Do you know all the people on your friends li
Fun Story
Entry for March 12, 2007 ok i wrote a short adult story awhile ago and figured i could post it here. it is all fiction from my demented mind! enjoy! You come in from a long day at work, and just want to relax. You take off your shoes and sit in your chair in front of your computer. You turn and log on and feel tense and tired, your eye lids are only half open. You feel hands gently start to rub your neck and shoulders, and they make you start to relax and your head rolls forward to give better access. The rubbing gets harder and deeper and then the hands move down over your chest. The rubbing continues to rub your tits thru your shirt, but then you feel a mouth kissing and licking the back of your neck. A moan of pleasure escaped your beautiful lips. The hands on your tits move towards the buttons on your silk blouse, and then they grab each side and rip the shirt wide open as the mouth on your neck bites down and starts to suck hard. The hands pull down the cups of your lacy
Fun,sports,etc
Knight Rider Returns - The funniest home videos are here
Fun Stuff
It's harder than it looks! *Use the 1st letter of your LAST name to answer each of the following...(*They have to be real places, names, things...nothing made up!) Use different answers if the person in front of you had the same 1st initial. (WHICH BY THE WAY IS HARD IF YOU ALREADY READ THEIR ANSWERS) You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl. 1. What is your last name?............... Wisnefske 2. 4 letter word.............................. Word! 3. Vehicle: ..................................Willys Custom 4. City / Neighborhood: ...............Waunakee, WI (only one of that city in america) 5. Boy Name: ...............................Wayne 6. Girl Name: ................................. Winona 7. Occupation: ............................Welcomer 8. Something you wear:..................Water Skis 9. Food: .....................................Wok Style Stir Fry 10. Found in a bathroom:...........Water... 11. Reason for Being Late...........Wasn't the
Fun Stuff
What Natural DISASTER are you? Firestorms Report this image (frstrm)n. A fire of great size and intensity that generates and is fed by strong inrushing winds from all sides: the firestorm that leveled Hiroshima after the atomic blast. An intense or violent response: The discovery that your child has a learning disorder can set off a firestorm of emotions (Judith Harkness Richardson). You are friendly and fun but you also hold your ground. you're awesome and you would look good with blue hair. rock on Which Swear Word Are You? fuck Report this image you got fuck... fuck has always been a fun word. Your ResultYour Result Ironic Retro Canned Beer You are an urban hipster, but do you drink a hip, urban, trendy beer? No, you drink cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon or Schlitz because it's ironic. And it's cheap! Ironic Retro Canned Beer
Fun Stuff!!
1 ) Answer the questions below 2) Take each answer and type it into Photobucket 3) Take any picture from the first page of results and post. (click on the picture and copy the HTML code) 4) You can't copy the persons answers who posted this before you! 1. The age you will be on your next birthday? 2. Your favorite place? 3. A place you'd like to travel? 4. Your favorite object? 5. Your favorite food? 6. Your favorite animal? 7. Your favorite color? 8. The town in which you were born? 9. The town in which you live? 10. The name of your pet? 11. Favorite non-alcoholic drink? 12. Your nickname/screen name? 13. sports team? I don't follow sports. 14. Favorite pastime? 15. A bad habit of yours?
Fun Stuff
Name: ___________________ Age: ____________________ Phone: ___________ Occupation: ____________________ Height______ Weight______ Married(Y/N)__ Single(Y/N)___ Other_________ Sexual Orientation: __________ How often do u wanna have sex?(check appropriate answer) Daily__ Weekly__ Monthly__ As much as possible_ How long can u last? (check appropriate answer) 1min ___ 15min__ 30min__ 1hr__ all nite___ Do u like Giving oral sex? (Y/N)___ What could you do for me that no one else could?: Which do u prefer? (check appropriate box) One on one__ Doubles__ Group___ While having sex, what do u do? (place "X" in all appropriate boxes) Faint__ Cry__ Moan__ Wiggle__ Twist__ Jerk about__ Pant__ Sweat___ Scream__ Hum__ Whistle__ Just lie there__ List three positions u like: 1. 2. 3. What is ur preferred pace? (place "X" in appropriate spaces) Slow__ Fast__ Very fast__ Rigorous___ Do you like rough sex? No__ Sometimes__ Always__ Do you like to talk dirty? No__ Sometimes__ Alwa
Fun Stuff
Fun Stuff
Well I'm a little bored and I thought this might be fun and interesting. I want you to tell me something about you that I don't already know. Good or bad, stupid or silly. Anything you want. Here's mine: I have a half brother  who I've only seen 5 times in my life. We just recently reconnected on myspace & facebook :) and I'm happy. 1) I have a half brother I've only seen five times. 2) I know more useless facts than anyone I know. 3) I sing along to the radio. 4) I am obsessed with serial killers-real or made up. 5) I never get hangovers. 6) I've been with women but I don't consider myself bisexual. 7) I am completely addicted to chocolate. 8) My guilty pleasure is reality shows. Any reality show, doesn't matter what the premise. 9) I had two separate cats give birth on me when I was growing up. 10) I don't believe in soul mates. 11) My husband is truly my best friend. 12) Every close female friend I've had has blown me off for a guy before. 13) I've had three best fem
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Black women beware of this guy: stretchnutz@ fubar apparently,he thinks "Black pussy taste like shit". His exact words.... just a heads up on this stupid fucktard!!! No one has diddled my midget yet???LMAO!!! Take a second to go rate this photo also if you would like to own me for a whole month you can bid right there in the commnets. Thank you ~KARMA~ XOXOXOXO
Fun Stuff
Between Friends Sometimes in life, you find a special friend; Someone who changes your life just by being part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop; Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world. Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it. This is Forever Friendship. http://www.thescreamingo.com/ Just what the url says! Buy awesome toys that will make you scream with pleasure! http://www.quibblo.com/user/br0ken71 http://www.xanga.com/br0ken71 http://www.fubar.com/join.php?friend=1975099 http://myspace.com/eradicational
Fun Stuff
You Scored as The High PriestessDivinatory Meaning: Be guided by your intuition. Reverse Meaning: Superstitious. Deluded. You feel energy around you…everywhere. You are aware of things that others are not. You listen more to your inner voice or feelings than most people. Concentrate your efforts on this gift. It is a talent that will develop as you focus on it. You Scored as AphroditeYou are connected with Aphrodite, Greek goddess of pleasure, sexual love and passion. Was born from the union of the sky and the fertile sea womb. Married to Hephaestus. Aphrodite teaches women who are seeking partnership, union, love, and pleasure that you must first learn how to love youself before you can ever love another.
Fun Stuff
1. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during Happy Hour. 2. Always toast before doing a shot. 3. Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast. 4. Change your toast at least once a month. 5. Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake. 6. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb. 7. Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one night. 8. When the bartender is slammed, resist the powerful urge to order a slightly-dirty, very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half martini with a lemon twist. Limit orders to beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails. 9. Get the bartenders attention with eye contact and a smile. 10. Do not make eye contact with the bartender if you do not want a drink. 11. Unacceptable things to say after doing a shot: Great, now Im going to get drunk. I hate shots. It's coming back up. 12. Never, ever tell a bar
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1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for the entire period. 2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life." 3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work." 4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson. 5. Learning lessons does not end. There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned. 6. "There" is no better a place than "here." When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here." 7. Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate someth
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Just in case you need to feel good about yourself today. . . Number One Idiot of 2008 I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the emergency room right away. Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride. Number Two Idiot of 2008 Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. I
Fun Stuff
You Can Only Type ONE Word. Not as easy as you might think. Now copy and paste into your blog and tag 5 ppl to do the same. Leave a comment to let us know you have done it, AND LEAVE THEM A COMMENT TO LET THEM KNOW THEY HAVE BEEN TAGGED. It's really hard to only use one-word answers! 1. Where is your cell phone? ear 2. Your significant other? Ugh 3. Your hair? brown 4. Your mother? shopping 5. Your father? hmmmmm 6. Your favorite thing? dancing 7. Your dream last night? weird 8. Your favorite drink? tea 9. Your dream/goal? happiness 10. The room you're in? crowded 11. Music? All 12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Alive 14. Where were you last night? home 15. What you're not? evil 16. Muffins? ewwwwww 17. One of your wish list items? Money 18. Where you grew up? VA 19. The last thing you did? ate 20. What are you wearing? nothing 21. TV? Dora 22. Your pets? none 23. Your computer? Sucks 24. Your life? sucks 25. Your mood? sucks 26. Missing s
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Only a person in Texas could think of this. From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story. Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Austin, Texas after last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off--it was a fine, dry summer night--,flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left. At last, whe
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hey don't know if anyone will read this... but I wanna know if I should do my hair? it's hella windy here. Like really bad. but I kinda wanna be girly. Should I curl it? I dunno.... I don't normally do my hair. Do you know what happened this week in California back in 1850?? 158 years ago California became a state. The State had no electricity. The State had no money. Almost everyone spoke Spanish. There were gunfights in the streets. So basically, it was just like it is today, except the women had real breasts and the men didn't hold hands. Woman’s Poem Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep, one who's handsome, smart and strong, one who loves to listen long. One who thinks before he speaks, one who'll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he's gainfully employed, when I spend his cash, won't be annoyed. Pulls out my chair and opens my door. Massages my back and begs to do more. Oh! Send me a man w
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Ready For A Pre-Valentines Day Auction? SixtyNineMunch Is Holding One! Auction Will Run From January 25th Until January 31st There Is No Entry Fee And All Bids Start At 100K You May Offer Anything You Like The Better The Offer The Better The Bid! You Will Be Owned For A Month Rules Of This Auction Are: 1.NO DRAMA! If You Start Any You Will Pulled ASAP 2.If Bidder Pulls Their Bid Or Doesn't Pay The Bidder With The Prior Bid Will Be Given The Offer 3.It Is Not My Responsibility To Get Your Bid For You, I Will Email The Winner One Time To Let Them Know Their Offer Was Accepted 4.You Must Send Me Your Pic and Offer In Private Message 5. I Will Promote The Auction But You Need To Promote Yourself For Better Bids 6. You May Accept Bid At Any Time 7. Have Fun SixtyNineMunch@ fubar (repost of original by 'SixtyNineMunch' on '2009-01-18 11:55:08') (repost of original by '
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ELMAZ ABINADER's ~ Profile of an Arab Daughter THE EVENTS OF SEPTEMBER 11, 2001, produced grief and fear in many people. And they raised questions about how one's country of origin can become important. In spare, imagistic prose, this piece gives us a snapshot of a dutiful and fearful Arab daughter after September 11. Elmaz Abinader (b. 1954) is a memoirist, poet, and performance artist. Her collection of poems, In the Country of My Dreams (1999), won the 2000 Oakland PEN Josephine Miles Award, and she has been awarded a Fulbright Senior Service Scholarship for study in Egypt. "Profile of an Arab Daughter" was first published in the Fall 2001 issue of Ai Jadid: A Review & Record of Arab Culture and Arts. Mother has fallen and fractured her pelvis. She was reaching for a jar in her kitchen and lost her balance. This is not her first fall. She has two artificial hips and was just recovering from the last time her foot gave way -- that time, her toe caught on the edge of the carpe
Fun Stuffz
Instructions...... Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird or random things, facts, or habits about yourself. At the end, you choose at least 5 people to be tagged, listing their names . Don't forget to leave a comment that says, "You're it!" on their profile and ask them to read your blog. You can't tag the person who tagged you. 1. I am terrified of clowns 2. I have met a few people from the fu, and hope to meet more 3. I am obsessed with panties, I think it's a fetish. Everytime I go shopping I have to get more, I have over 500 pairs lol 4. I used to be a 38DD breast size but had a reduction a year ago, and am now a VERY happy and comfortable 36C 5. My lifelong dream is to open a pub in Ireland and call it Tiff's Place 6. I sing along to commercial jingles, really loud and obnoxious too. 7. I cuss like a sailor at football games.. the only time really lol. I'm worse than a man. 8. My favorite band of all time is Def Leppard.
Fun Stuff
Fun Stuff
We've been with each other all day and we've had a really great time and since iwe really don't have anything to do I check into a hotel for the night and i ask if you would like to stay with me, you agree and so we head up to them room, we get our showers and start talking some more, but then i notice that i'm strangely drawn to you and i ask if i could give you a neck rub, "I give good ones" ,I add. you let me and i ask you to lay on your stomach. You do and i stradle you. I start rubbing your neck and your back and you seem to be enjoying it because i could swear that you are moaning,so I lean over and whisper in your ear, "You're really starting to turn me on." You get this devious little smile on your face as look back at me and say "oh really?!?!?!" in a very sarcastic manner. I reply "yes you are." and i get off of you and lay by you. I gently grasp your hand and i kiss it. and then i moave down to your wrist where i gently nibble at it. after wards i climb over you and i  start
Fun Stuff
Fun Stuff
Fun Survey
Copy & Paste this into a Private Message to me w/your answers! :)     1.Your Full Name:2. Age:3. Single or Taken:4. Favorite Movie:5. Favorite Song:6. Favorite Band:7. Kinky or Clean:8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...1. Do we know each other outside of Fubar?2. What song reminds you of me?3. Would you have my back in a fight?4. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?5. What is your favorite memory of us?6. Have we ever been drunk/stoned together?7.Would you do me?8. Tell me one odd/intresting fact about you:9. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?10. Do you want to tell me something that you couldn't before?11. Have you heard any rumors of me lately?12. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me?13. Do you think I'm a good person?14. Would you drive across country with me?15. Do you think I'm attractive?16. Are there ever times when you want to call me but don't?17. If you could change anything about me, would you? what wou
Fun Stuff
Fun Stuffs!!!!
♥ CUSTOMIZED FOR YOU AND YOU ALONE♥   OK so we all see people that have awesome profiles or those cool name Tags on their pages.... and you think hey i like that i want one.. well come to me... I can make you what you want and how you want... or if you want give me the reigns to make you something awesome...   And yes before you ask.. I do charge. But not really money, give me that fake shit.. the bucks - fubucks®. I dont ask for anything you have to pay real money for, all i ask for is fubucks and to pass the word around.   This is my way of making money for spotlight and other free fu stuff without begging for it and you getting nothing out of it.. so if you want one my many customized pics and skins i can do or know someone who does - just hit me and let me know.. I am willing to negotiate [[to some extent - lol]].
Fun Sex
where is the most dangerous place you have had sex ( specify if outdoors where )
Fun Stuff
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Aquarius    - I Can Make You Love Me Gemini      - I'm A Lover Not A Hater Cancer      - I'm The Best At Sex!       LEO  - I **** Like No Other! Virgo       - I'm The Wifey/Hubby Type Libra       - I'm Sexy As Hell! Scorpio     - I' m Great In Bed! Sagittarius - Baby I'm freaky Taurus      - I fuck Better Than You Capricorn   - I Can Have Sex All Night Long! Pisces      - When I Put It On You, You'll Be Sprung For Life Aries       - I Love Sex   blue eyes People with blue eyes last the longest in relationships. They are kind, pretty or handsome, very good kissers and are really hot. They always fall in love with their closest friends and never understand why. They are very funny, outgoing and don't care what people think or say. They love to party.They are very satisfying and love to please. Are straight up WARRIORS((aka wolves)) when they need to be.They are bad to the bone. If you repost this and you have blue eyes you will h
Fun Stuff
THIS WAS LONG BUT FREAKING FUNNY...ONLY A MAN WOULD ATTEMPT THISJust try reading this without laughing till you cry!!!Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased hislovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparkedmyinterest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for alittle something extra for my wife, Julie. What I came across was a100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer weresupposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on yourassailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed thebutton and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get theblue arc of electricity darting back and forth between
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RED: People who like red tend to be tigers in the sack. They are easily aroused and enjoy sex in every way imaginable. Once the sexual spark is ignited, it may take hours to extinguish. When two reds get together, the ensuing erotica could make Lady Chatterly blush. Lovers of red tend to be aggressors and weaker colors should be aware.   YELLOW: If you tend to favor yellow, your sexual drives are complex and turn toward the adaptable. In most cases the person will consent to the stronger partner's desires in a passive manner. You will never enjoy sex to the fullest, but you will never turn down an invitation from somebody you enjoy or admire.   PINK: Persons who like pink show a reluctance to mature in sexual matters: women tend to tease, to promise more than they intend to deliver. In some cases they flaunt their femininity -- but because they secretly hate men. A great percentage of prostitutes boast entire wardrobes in pink. Men who like pink are the philanderers and flirts.
Fun Stuff
Fun Things....
20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. I n The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds" 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." 8. Don t use any punctuation 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." 12. Sing Along At The Opera 13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme 14. Put Mosquito Netting Aroun
Fun Times & Games!
Ok so I am leavin for Jamaica in bout two hors but I have noticed two problems. I have 160 points to level up so help me out ppl. and also I am sitting with 666 freinds I can't leave like that it would be bad luck so quick sombody send me atleast one new freind. THANX as always S~E~X~Y! P.s. I have about two hours so I am headed off to rate a fewe pps I have missed if you are one of them shout at me quick I will run right over and fix the problem thanx. Hey all just wanted to invite you all to be apart of my new contest. "FUNNY ROOT BEER PICS CONTEST" there are only a few simple rules: 1. All pics must contain a ROOTBEER or ROOT BEER content. 2. No NUDITY please. 3. Winners will be chosen based on RATES & COMMENTS, You may comment as often as you like. The contest will beginas soon as I have sufficent entries. Just click the dancing banner below to link to my page and leave me a message if you wish to enter. THANX S~E~X~Y. Ok So just wanted to let e
Fun Times
Fun Time
Fun Thing
Your Celebrity Boob Twin: Anna Nicole Smith Who's Your Celebrity Boob Twin?
Fun Things To Do
You are 71% kinky You are kinky. You are always up for trying something new in the bedroom... or wherever else you chose to. Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com
Fun Times
Fun times.. what does this mean, for you dirty minds out there, it means sex on the beach, and wild under the sheets. Others it means diner and a movie, or perhaps a game of pool... Then there is Wild times.. is it playing with a tiger or sex in the craziest positions.. what do you think??
Fun Times
Hey guys, i finally did it, i went out to a bar with a few friends last night. Lets see, i got drunk, i was cornered in a booth where a drunk n drugged up girl thought it was alright to feel me up, not just over my clothes, she went straight for my pussy, i was so stunned, i didnt know what to think, i just got out of there before she got any other ideas. So i left the bar around 2:30am n went to a friends house where we got stoned, than it got so hot in there i had to leave, another friend decided he would drive me home, but before we left the parking lot, we had a little fun. He started kissing me, than he moved his way down my pants n started to give me the best orgasm i had in months, than i gave him the best bj of his life n than i came home. Now i think that was a good night don't u guys think hehe http://www.redtube.com/2398 Hey guys, well this night couldn't have come at a better time, i was feeling lousy at the beginning of the night, than a knock at the door came a surp
Fun To Be My Friend
Check out http://www.guessyournumber.com A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, "T-G-I-F." He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T." She looked puzzled, and repeated, "T-G-I-F," more slowly He again answered, "S-H-I-T." The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so, she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F." The man smiled back to her and once again,> "S-H-I-T." The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain, 'T-G-I-F' means "Thank Goodness It's Friday". Get it, duuhhh?" The man answered, 'S-H-I-T' means "Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday".....L-M-A-O...... YOUR AGE BY EATING OUT Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway-but your waiter may know! YOUR AGE BY DINER & RESTAURANT MATH This is pretty neat. DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST! It takes less than a minute. Work this out
Fun Things!!
plllease comment and rate me thank you! just click the picture! Link to my newest contest entry (the blue eyez starts tomorrow Ill post a link to that one as well!!!! thanks everyone I'm in a fantastically good mood this morning..NO work for me today...All play, I took Zeusy to his second doggy training class and he did VERY WELL!! I was so proud of my lil man!! YAY!!!!! Mark is here with me *sleepin at the moment but here no less* which always makes me smile! Zeusy is sleepin ontop of mark hehe so cute!...Spring Break is comin up in about two weeks and NY here me and mark come! CANNOT WAIT!!! even tho its gonna be cold, guess that gives me a reason to buy some warm gloves and hats n stuff..but just felt like sayin hey to y'all and tell ya about my great day so far...hope all is well w/everyone!!stay sweet!!! Sexy & Romantic glitter graphics from www.sexiluv.com Sexy & Romantic glitter graphics from www.sexiluv.com
Fun Things
You scored as Rocker, Mosher, Your A Rocker!Rocker, Mosher80% Goth60% Chav, Townie, Rude Boy, Ned, Kev50% Skater30% Emo30% Prepy20% Trendy15% What Group Are You? What Group Are You? Chav, Rocker, Skater, Emo, Goth, Trendy, Prepy Ectcreated with QuizFarm.com You scored as Mermaid. Mermaid: Mermaids are also known as Sirens. These creatures were beautiful women who tricked sailors into becoming completely entranced by their haunting voices and found death soon after. Not all stories of Mermaids are about gentle loving sea people. They are mystical, magical, and extremely dangerous. They have a way about them that brings anyone they are around to seem enchanted. They are very mysterious creatures and to meet one... Would mean certain Death. Let the song of the Sea fill your soul, for you are a Mermaid.Mermaid
Fun Things!
You opened your wallet, and found no coins. I opened my purse, and found no money. We opened our lives, and found each other. Now we know how rich we really are. ~annonymous % SEXIEST FEET CONTEST% WHO’S GOT THE SEXIEST FEET? VOTE NOW!! BOMBS AWAY!! CONTEST RUNS A FULL 7 DAYS ENDING JUNE 11TH @ NOON (CST) – TOP 3, WINS!! Help Me out, Not my best Pic, But vote a lil if u want. LilMissVixen For contest prize and info, please check out my blog: http://cherrytap.com/blog/87454 Thanks and much love to all!! Please repost!! Luscious♥Mami 1) DAMN SEXY LIPS CONTEST: Comment and Rates count as 10. I need comment bombing ppls help me out, show me some love, you can do comments rates or both. Thank you soo so much. 2) 7 Day Blast Contest Plz Plz Plz rate an comment would mean soo much if i won an got a blast, Comment Bomb Families are welcome too :) TyTyTy much love, Help a sista out
Fun Times
just when i thought things were just starting to finally look better for me.....i end up having a personal crisis sorry if i'm going to be a little unattentive, i will try to get back to everyone but i'm in lots of pain currently and my face is all swollen i have a really bad abscessed tooth.....have already been to the emergency room , so i'm on penicilin and hydrocodone if you get the chance to talk to me...i will be either rather irritable or very flighty depending on where in the cycle the meds are at when we chat so plz be a little patient with me plz understand.....if you are looking to help me in my search for work, i am not going to let this issue stop me or slow me down so plz contact me i am still willing to do odd jobs
Fun Time
I am here for something new. It sems to be an ok place.
Fun Time
OKAY, I WANT TO HIT LEVEL 20 OR 21. I WANT BULLETINS POSTED AND EVERYTHING..I JUST WANT MY ASS PIMPED THE FUCK OUT! I WANT TO SEE WHO WILL PIMP ME OUT THE MOST AND GET ME TO WHERE I NEED TO BE AT. MY RIFAL HAPPY LEVEL 20. THERE WILL BE THREE WINNERS..IF THERE IS MORE THEN THAT IS FINE. 1ST PERSON I SEE KICKING ASS TO GET ME TO THAT LEVEL WILL GET OF THERE CHOICE A HAPPY HOUR OR A 30 DAY BLAST. CARRY ON AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK THIS SHOULD BE DAMN EASY. Click the link below to begin! MASTER XEROMANCER666*ACE CAFE DJ*@ fubar
Fun Time
12 Fun Things To Do At Wal-mart
Run up to an employee, 'preferably male, while squeezing your legs together and yell,' "i need some tampons!" TRY ON BRAS OVER YOUR CLOTHES While walking around the store, sing' in ''your voice "sex and candy" [by marcy playground] Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone,'"i'think'we've got a code three in house wares, and see what happens. WHILE WALKING THROUGH THE CLOTHING DEPARTMENT ASK YOURSELF LOUD ENOUGH FOR ALL TO HEAR, "WHO BUYS THIS CRAP ANYWAY?" Put m&m's on layaway. Move "caution: wet floor" signs to ''carpeted areas. RANDOMLY THROW THINGS OVER NEIGHBORING ISLES When two or three people are walking ahead of you run between them yelling, "red rover!" Dart around suspiciously while 'humming' the theme to mission impossible. FILL AN ENTIRE CART WITH BOXES OF CONDOMS AND EVERYONE'S JAW DROP WHEN YOU ATTEMPT TO BUY THEM. Two words: marco. polo.
Funtime !!!!
Fun Things About Me
You Are A Cypress Tree You are strong, adaptable, and striving to be content. You're good at taking what life has to give - even if you don't like it. A passionate lover who can't be satisfied, you are quick tempered at times. You hate loneliness, want love and affection, and need to be needed. A bit of a live wire, you love to gain knowledge any cost... and you can be careless at times. What Your Favorite Color Purple Says About You: Intuitive --- Seeking --- Creative Kind --- Self-Sacrificing --- Growth Oriented Strong --- Very Wise --- Rare Your Mind is PG-13 Rated Your mind is definitely a little dirty. You're naughty, but not trashy. You don't shy away from a dirty joke, and you're clearly not a prude. See i told you all I am an angel lol
Fun Time
i HAVE A GREAT TIME WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS. PEOPLE CONSIDER ME THE LIFE OF THE PARTY WHEN WE GET TOGETHER WITH EVERY ONE. I LOVE TO SPEND TIME WITH MY SON WHEN I PICK HIM UP FROM HIS MOTHER WE ALWAYS GO TO THE PARK ANS CHILL.HE IS MY WORLD AND EVERY THING I DO REVOLVES AROUND HIM. AND THERE WILL NEVER BE ANY ONE THAT COMES BETWEEN ME AND MY SON.
Fun Times
So went out Friday night had an ok time. Now Saturday night went out with Susan and Michael good grief someone should have stopped us. She had 8 shots of Gold and was ready to go home but prior to that we fell down a couple of times showed more than we probably should have and probably bugged way to many people. While Michael was taking her home I had my 9th shot and I lasted until 2:30 before I was ready to go home and pass out. Guess couple people came over I dunno I was passed out. The best part I woke up with no hangover again!!!!!!!! Go me I love that. Sunday we had a few people over and bbq. I didn't drink but we had a fun. Now onward until next Saturday Susan and I have plans to go see Steph at her new job then meet up with everyone that has to work at Harmony. Should be fun!!!!!!!! And there is no way I am even taking one shot next weekend I gotta take care of myself!
Fun Times
to guys girls are like toys they only want us when they want to play. This is crazy and darn just ticks me off. Are there any good guy's out there? come by my page rate me, fan me, add me. If you do I shall return the favor.
Fun Times With A Twisted Mind
I love you with my entire heart. Even though I don't possess it any more. You have it in the palms of your hands, Love. I pray only that it remains there. . . . . and that your heart remains with me. I Love You. There is so much I want to say. So much I want to tell you and explain to you. I wonder if you'll understand. I wonder so many things. . . .yet why can't I ask the questions. . .? I feel so many things. . . . Good... Bad. . .neutral. . . . For now. . . until. . . I see you. . . . I guess they'll remain only thoughts. . . You are The Star Hope, expectation, Bright promises. The Star is one of the great cards of faith, dreams realised The Star is a card that looks to the future. It does not predict any immediate or powerful change, but it does predict hope and healing. This card suggests clarity of vision, spiritual insight. And, most importantly, that unexpected help will be coming, with water to quench your thirst, with a guiding light to the
Fun Times
Well, after all I have experienced so far, there's no doubt in my mind that I haven't reached my true potential yet, although I am witnessing some of the power I once had, and to me, it's very hard to believe because it's very unique what I think I might be, or what I have already become. I'm not going to say much about it on here, because the reader might only get confused. People, if I shall call them that, people like that don't even exist anymore, let alone the technology we once had. Could it be me coming back again, to be prepared for another war to wipe out humanity? Or could it be something else altogether? Yes I am pure Atlantean although my mother and father in this life are not, one of my distant relatives are also like me, or she was. Yes I'm German, Irish, all that too but that is from my mortal parents in this life. I have to somehow unlock her gift of what she had to give. The parents in this life are not my original parents. They are now, but the first ones left
Fun Time For Adults!!!!
"!!NAUGHTY APPLICATION !!! Your Name: Age: Location: 1.Favorite position: 2.Do you think I'm cute?. 3.Would you have sex with me? 4.lights on or off? 5.Would you have to be drunk? 6. Would you take a shower with me? 7.Have you ever thought about having sex with me? 8.Would you leave after or stay the night? 9.Do you like cuddling afterwards? 10.Condom or skin? 11.Have sex on the first date? 12.Would you kiss me during sex 13.Do you think I would be good in bed /? 14.Would you use me as a booty call? 15.Can I use you as a booty call? 16.Can we take pictures of the act? 17.How long would we have sex? 18.Would you tell your friends about me? 19.Would you want me for a b/f , g/f or friend? 20. Will you fill this out & send it back to me?" Also < IF YOU HAD ME ALONE, LOCKED UP IN YOUR ROOM FOR A WEEK & I HAD TO DO WHAT EVER YOU WANTED ME TO DO, WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH ME? TELL ME IN MY INBOX... CUZ ITS A SECRET
Fun Things
CHEERLEADERS ARE DANCERS THAT HAVE GONE RETARDED-BRING IT ON MAYBE IF YOU MISS ENOUGH MEALS THEN MAYBE YOUR BODY WILL EAT YOUR ASS-BRING IT ON I WISH I KNEW HOW TO QUIT YOU-BROKEBACK MOUNTIAN PEOPLE NEED A PASSPORT TO COME DOWN HERE-SWEET HOME ALABAMA NO ONE FINDS THEIR SOULMATE AT 10-YEARS OLD-SWEET HOME ALABAMA SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND-SCARFACE NOBODY PUTS BABY IN A CORNER-DIRTY DANCING I'M NOT A HOMOSEXUAL, I'M A CHEERLEADER-BUT I'M A CHEERLEADER YOU HAD ME AT HELLO-JERRY MAGUIRE YOU WANT THE TRUTH? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH-A FEW GOOD MEN WHAT ARE THE 3 SEA SHELLS FOR?-DEMOLITION MAN YOU NEVER PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH-WHITE CHICKS BETWEEN A WOMAN'S LEGS IS THE PASSPORT TO HEAVE-SCENT OF A WOMAN NO MORE DRUGS FOR THAT MAN-FACE/OFF SO WHAT DO YOU LITTLE PERVERTS WANNA DO FIRST?-WEIRD SCIENCE MY BALLS ARE HALF WAY UP MY ASS BUT OTHER THAN THAT I'M PERFECT-WEIRD SCIENCE DON'T MESS WITH THE BULL OR YOU'LL GET THE HORNS-BREAKFAST CLUB
Fun Times...fun Times
YOu know its so much fun being single again after so many years! Im out enjoying life and working on myself getting healthier, trying to quit smoking (which is damned impossible), cranking the music in the house, and wishing for more times out getting drunk! woohoo! yea ok so im not a party animal but its nice when you get hit on lmao... in either case now that the heart is healing i can finaly be myself and do the things i enjoyed so long ago.. of course many of you are single and do enjoy your life as such and others not so much due to the feeling of loneliness but hey! atleast enjoy it while you can..cuz your gonna end up in shackles (maybe pleasurable for some ;)) one day wishing that you were single again. lmao.. of course isn't it funny that when your single you wish you had someone and when you have someone you wish you were single again?! seems we can never truely be happy unless we find our soulmate or fall madly in love with someone.. kind of depressing realy i think. but h
Fun Trip
So where do I start. Well I went down to San Diego over the weekend. I was finally able to spend some time with a girl that I have been chatting with on here for a little over 6 months I think. I got there Friday afternoon. I saw her get out of her car and was instantly excited and giddy like a school boy. I have not felt excited like that in along time. It felt kind of weird. So we were able to spend some good quality time toether. A movie, dinner, quality time, and just hanging out. I could not have asked for a better time or a better girl to spend my time with. I just had to share my joy.
Fun Time
no love on fu it seems anymore!!! hit me up some time and prove me wrong
Fun Times
Im getting bored with this site once again. It is no longer fun anymore, its all about rates and making other people feel special for liking them, not to mention its promoting prostitution for bling, boomerangs, god modes etc.... Would be nice to have good fun chats with people but unless you wanna pay for it, it aint happening!!!! Peace out Dicks
Fun Try It
1. Pick 15 of your favorite movies. 2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie. 3. Post them here for everyone to guess. 4. Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie. 5. NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search or other search functions. 6. No looking at my favorite movies on my online profiles (all 4000 of them). ````````````````````````````````````````````````````` x1 The Bull god MsBettieMonroe A: Well, "Name one thing you're gonna need this stupid fucking rope for." B: That was way easier than I thought. A: Aye. B: You know, on TV you always got that guy that jumps over the sofa. A: And then you gotta shoot at him for ten fucking minutes, too. B: Aye. A: Christ. B: We're good. A: Yes, we are. 2 A: You don't have jurisdiction here! B: We aren't here, which means when we open up on you and shred your bodies with automatic fire then this will never have happened. 3 A: So? B: You want to do w
Fun Time!!
Have fun with me here ;)
Fun Times
Fun Time~
Her flesh was hot from her Master's touch the cool mist from the rain wetting her naked created steam which she breathed in with every intake of breath. she was lost, she was lost in a place outside her mind and body floating in a place her Master made safe for her. Her desires were His today and that made all He would do, perfect. His hand wrapped tightly in her hair His fingers gripping strongly limiting her mobility making it easy to guide her exactly as He wished. Being taken from her chair where she was quietly reading by the hair so suddenly awakened every inch of flesh, there was no fear for she knew her Master's touch. she had settled in to her quiet place having tasted her Master's cum that morning, she felt content even though she as always, anticipated His need for her again. The tugging of her hair set her mind into motion, it was then she began to fly i could barely stay on my feet and keep with His pace. Already i could feel the wetness licking at my thighs. Master
Fun Times In Florida
Ok so I'm fairly new to Florida and Well I already have some stories to tell from being here only a month and a half. Day two after arriving in Florida from a 31 hour bus ride from syracuse ny. While playing catch with a football with a newly found friend of mine Frank in my brother Bob's front yard Frank happens to overthrow the football. Well I'm an athletic crazy person and I looooove football and I go balls to the walls pedal to the medal non stop crazy fun goofy shit thats me ok? Well in Florida there are trees fucking EVERYWHERE seemingly sporadicly for no reason. Well like I said Frank isn't the most accurate quarterback and he overthrew the football me... I ran for it head turned looking back at the football arms extended sprinting and then jumped balls in my hands the WHAMMMM!!!! LIGHTS OUT I'm like what the fuck. "Oww oww that fucking hurt" Supposedly were my exact words I don't remember saying them but I went face first into a fucking tree so ya never know. Y
Fun Time~
I sat in the bonus room of our home, logged into my favorite on-line game, intently playing while also aware of the dog sleeping at my feet. Daniel was in the shower, I was supposed to be checking the e-mail for anything important that may have come, but I trusted the dog to alert me when she heard him head up the stairs. At the first wag of a tail, I was prepared to shut down the game and bring up the mail file. "Is that what I sent you up here to do?" His voice from the doorway was the first indication I had that he was done in the shower. My big dog lifted her head and wagged her tail – a little too late to do me any good. "Let's go" was all he said. I logged out of the game without saying good bye to the other players, something I never did, and reached to shut the computer off. "Leave it," he said. "I'll be back up to finish." I got up from my chair, walked past him to the head of the stairs, I knew there was nothing I could say to change what was going to happen. I had been ca
Fun Things To Do...ok So I Think Its Fun :p
Anyone can be a cat. All you have to do is follow the rules. Rules For Being A Cat. 1. Anytime you go in or out a door you must pause at the threshold and contemplate whether you deign go through that door. You must do this until a much larger being is ready to give you a boot in the ass. You may then go through the door. 2. Anytime any flat object is laid upon the floor, you must go to the exact center of that object, lie down, and go to sleep.3. If you see any space anywhere that is just about your size, you must get into it and look around. 4. Kill. 5. Want a good place to be a cat? Try anyplace it would be inconvenient to have a cat. 6. Anything that was OK the last time is not OK anymore. If you wanted to be picked up the last time, you no longer want that. If you liked Swiss cheese the last time, you no longer like it. If you wanted your head scratched the last time, you now regard anyone who wants to scratch your head as a mortal enemy of cats. 7. If two doors lead into t
Fun Times
having a blast getting to know all the wonderful people on here...you really make me smile...
Fun Time
Fun Things To Do On A Rainy Day In London (expect Regular Entries)
Graphics for Funny Picture Comments   Graphics for Funny Picture Comments   Graphics for Funny Picture Comments
Fun Thoughts And Convos!
So to introduce this conversation, I need to explain the story. Back about 3 years ago I put a profile up on AFF so I could find partners to make amateur videos with for my website. When I stopped working for the company, I put the profile on there on "standby" so it wasn't viewable and ppl couldn't contact me.   After I moved back to Michigan, I realized that I was missing a few pics that were on my demolished (during the move) laptop. So I went onto AFF to get the pics and it said I had to re-establish my profile to see the pics. So I did, and never shut if off... didn't care to. So after a while I went on there just for curiosity and I had a few emails from guys who seemed to have a little personality substance... this is my convo with one, and tell me if it makes any sense!   Btw, he lives about 2 hours from me                                                                 Mike: Hey there, you seem to be pretty interesting and I like how straight forward your profile is, if
Funusladybug Chat
COME CHAT WITH ME SOMETIMES Get your own Chat Box! Go Large!
Fun With Bettie!!!
I have to come clean with you all. I am here to make new friends and to HELP MY BAND IF I CAN!!! I hope that none of you are pissed that I whore my band on here and that you will take it for what it is. I wall talk to anyony who wants to talk to me at anytime that I am on!! I love all the people that have commented on my pics and page. Please feel free to chat with me anytime. I love all of you!!! BASS BETTIE
Fun With Food
¢¾ღ*theGIRL*ღ¢¾ ¢¾ENJOY YOUR LAST WEEK OF SUMMER¢¾ The 'Be' Attitudes Be understanding to your enemies. Be loyal to your friends. Be strong enough to face the world each day. Be weak enough to know you cannot do everything alone. Be generous to those who need your help. Be frugal with that you need yourself. Be wise enough to know that you do not know everything. Be foolish enough to believe in miracles. Be willing to share your joys. Be willing to share the sorrows of others. Be a leader when you see a path others have missed. Be a follower when you are shrouded by the mists of uncertainty. Be first to congratulate an opponent who succeeds. Be last to criticize a colleague who fails. Be sure where your next step will fall, so that you will not tumble. Be sure of your final destination, in case you are going the wrong way. Be loving to those who love you. Be loving to those who do not love you; they may change. Above all, be yourself.
Fun W/ No Stress
~~fun Ways To Kiss Your Lover~~
Types of Kisses Given below is a variety of kiss that you may find interesting. You could feel free to try them out with your partner. Angel Kiss A comforting kiss. Kiss your partner very gently, delicately on their lips or eyelids. Cheek Kiss A friendly kiss. With you hands on your partners shoulders, brush your lips across their cheeks. Be gentle. A kiss preferred on the first date. Chew Kiss While kissing tell your partner to place their tongue in your mouth. Very VERY GENTLY chew on their back of the tongue. Do not suck. This creates a sensation that can be very exciting. Copy Cat Kiss Just imitate the way your partner kisses. Copy every act of their kiss. Cordial Kissing (Hot/Cold Kiss, Trickle Kiss) Sip a very small amount of your favourite drink, either hot or cold and when you just begin to kiss, pour the drink into your partner's mouth. It will leave behind a sensational feeling. Some love this type of kiss and some cringe with the thought of it.
Fun Way To Burn Calories
CALORIES BURNED DURING SEX CALORIES BURNED DURING SEX! REMOVING HER CLOTHES: With her consent 12 Calories Without her consent 2,187 Calories OPENING HER BRA: With both hands 8 Calories With one hand 12 Calories With your teeth 485 Calories PUTTING ON A CONDOM: With an erection 6 Calories Without an erection 3,315 Calories POSITIONS: Missionary 12 Calories 69 lying down 78 Calories 69 standing up 812 Calories Wheelbarrow 216 Calories Doggy Style 326 Calories Italian chandelier 2,912 Calories ORGASMS: Real 112 Calories Fake 1,315 Calories POST ORGASM: Lying in bed huggi
Fun, Wild, And Kinky Place To Chat
come and bid on this hot woman the bidding is currently at 175 k do i hear 200 k. http://www.fubar.com/new_lounge.php?w=1&lid=53587 come and join our happy lil wild family and enjoy some real fun in here with a great sense of humor chatting witha tasteful sexual atmosphere, http://fubar.com/viewimage.php?u=264296&i=2079114385 kat is a very pretty woman up for auction and s he will be your fu slave. just hit her up rate and comment. place bids in comment box below her pic and let her know Lt. sent ya
Fun Whilst Clothed Xxx
This is what I do for fun at weekends when I am not drinking or having fun elsewhere
Funweb
Hello im new on here just leting you know come and check out http://joinweb.ning.com Must be over 18 please thank you
Fun With Nerds
Tuesday, January 10, 2006- Class 1: Unit I 1) Introduction: a) Baroque: cloudy period concept. Comes from Art History, describes characteristics in Art. i) Goals: are these art concepts applicable to history. b) 1598-1680: c) Required texts: Half.com, Amazon, abebooks, powells, alibris. MUST have specified edition. d) Must about religious anxiety: possession witchcraft, and demonic possession. e) Book to choose by Tuesday 17th. Buy on line, cerrteau and fox are paperback. i) De Certeau: the possession at Loudun, series of events that took place in 1632, in Poitou- the outcome of the events, burning at the stake by Fr. Grandier. Certeau died recently. Nuns accused Grandier of possessing them by devils. Great analysis- very difficult to read, oblique and abstract. French. ii) George Fox: primary source- founder of the quakers, this is his journal of the first years of his movement. From 1645-1652, odyssey of Fox takes place during the revolutionary war. Good insight into his
Fun Web Stuff
Your result for The Could You Be A Good Dominatrix Test...GoddessYou scored 77% Dominance and 74% Technique! You are, quite simply, mind-blowingly and unbearably hot. You would not just be a "good" dominatrix. You would be - hell, you *are* - a stunning and breathtaking sexual experience for whatever man is lucky enough to be captured by you. Whatever you do, don't let your talents go to waste. Use them. Nurture them. Impart them to others. And, if all else fails, call me ;-) Thank you for taking my test, Ma'am - I hope we can meet someday.Take The Could You Be A Good Dominatrix Test at HelloQuizzy ImageChef.com Poetry Blender
Fun With Flag Poles
One night down at the town swimming hole a some friends and I decide to climb the flag pole. Person A climbs up and yells in triumph. Now of course there was booze involved so the rope was soon grabbed and pulled on vigorously. Since there was now about 160 pounds of extra weight on the top of the pole it was soon swaying very nicely. What fun! I soon was yelling “I want to try it!” Ok, up I go. It was pretty exciting being about 20 feet up in the cool night air on top of a flag pole. Top of the world Ma! Shortly the rope was grabbed again and off I went! Wow! This was better than an amusement park ride and the laughter was intense from all involved. Things were starting to get out of hand because it was getting harder and harder to hold on as the pole swayed more and more violently. Then, just when I though I was going to fly off, the pole bent! Of course the rope was pulled more until I was standing on the ground still holding the pole! Ever seen a flag pole bent to the ground? Stra
Funy
Fun Zone
You Should Get A Butterfly Tattoo Sweet and sassy For you, tattoos are a thing of beauty - not toughness What Tattoo Should You Get? You Are Silly Panties You're a goofy, fun loving girl who is always smiling. You like your panties to be a silly secret - even if only you know. Men feel instantly relaxed around you, with a little instant chemistry too. Even though you're a goofball, you can be sexy when you want to. What Kind of Panties Are You? Your Passion is Orange Your sex life is driven by your wild fantasies. For you, sex is a dramatic performance where you are the star. And you love putting on a wild act for your lover, trying to top last night's show. Whether you enjoy the actual sex is irrelevant... it's all about putting on a good act! What Color Is Your Passion?
Fuobservations
Here we go, I have rated literally Thousands of pics since arriving on Fubar, but every time I get close to leveling I get the same 5 or 6 people showing up to rate my pics. Some people claim to give blings for going through their folders but then if you lose your way & forget what folder your on & ask your message is ignored (yes i'm thinking about 1 person specifically). another complaint is people who name themselves something sexually suggestive & have no NSFW pics! Why would you have the word cum in your name & be a prude? Done Ranting, I wonder how many will read this O.K. time for a short rant. I've been able to buy a few Bombs & I've bombed some of my better Friends. Now for the rant, if someone Bombs your album i'm not asking for much but I think a "Thank you" is appropriate. I thought that people that i've had conversations with would say it but evidently I was wrong. Mostly everyone (even the non-friends) says thank you am I wrong to want a message or a shout saying "Thank y
Fu-orphan
As you may know I have listed myself as a Fu-Orphan up for adoption to anyone that wants me. I am hoping someone will gift me a VIP since mine is running out in less than a week. If I get a VIP I will put your name as my adopted owner/parent/slave whatever you choose. I will for the length of the VIP give you 100 11's per week. Rate all your stash/blogs and such. Keep you shit-faced. Comment you daily. Repost all bullies posted by you or about you. All during HH of course. We can discuss more depending on what you are offering. Thanks...Cherise "Bottoms UP"
Fu Or Luv
I met this girl in the store , she asked me was I married , I said no.. but why? She replied ...well i'm looking for someone for my dad. I asked well how old is your dad? She says 60 yrs old. I'm feeling like wtf do I look 60? Shit.. I met her dad , he seemed pretty cool , nice cadillac. We took a walk around the park by half a mile he was tired. So I asked do you feel like jogging? He thought I was joking!! Next a man came to me introduced himself as Pastor blank and blank. Gave me his business card with church location and contact information. As I walked away , Pastor blank and blank says give me a call witcha fine ass. Did he just say ass? Whatever , I called him a month later only to get some type a spiritual guidance. After talking to him for a week on the phone ,  I forgot he was a pastor. Also well over 55 , but what was the joke? I never heard a Pastor say nucca's be tripping , or you fine ass hell ,and let me take you out for ice cream!! Can I meet someone I actually like?
Fu Own Me For A Month!!!
WANNA OWN ME FOR A MONTH?? ENDS DEC.6 @ MIDNIGHT PACIFIC TIME. ONLY GOT 2 DAYS TO BID CLICK HERE NOW TO FU OWN ME FOR A MONTH: DON'T WASTE TIME..GET YOUR BIDS IN NOW WHILE YOU STILL HAVE TIME!! Got any questions or concerns. please contact me through message only. Fubar Auction Hostess: ¢¾heartme¢¾ aka dinarocks **FU OWNED BY TEXAS CAMARO NUT**@ fubar I will have info soon on how YOU can OWN ME for a full month! Keep watching! Details, hopefully, later today! All I know is the auction starts at MIDNIGHT tonight, Tuesday, December 4th and ENDS MIDNIGHT Thursday, December 6th. I was in an auction and starting December 7, 2007 I am fu owned for a month by Lonestartxcowboy. . . go check him out; he is one awesome cowboy baby! :D lonestartxcowboy@ fubar
Fu Own Me For 1 Month....
Wanna Fu Own Me For 1 Month.... This is what i am offering to my Owner... -fu owned for a month with name in screen name -rate all pics an 11 during hh -rate all stash -rate all blogs -weekly pimp out by her -graphics made by her -1 sfw salute and 1 nsfw salute AND MORE! Just click the pic and start your bidding...
Fu-owned
I am Fu-Owned by this wonderful man. RATE/FAN/ADD HIM PLEASE Mikey The ▪▫Pіŧßułł ­­­­МãҒiã ▫▪ Hitman@ fubar What can I say about this guy?? Well, he is absolutely amazing :D He always stops by to top me up when I'm dry...lol...and he is always there for his friends...he is so friendly and such a sweetheart...he'll do anything to help you out in a pinch :D And, of course...the Godfather list...he puts so much work into this list...to show us all how much we have to go, and to get us help from our friends...and even after my reset, I had all the points to go....and he still included me on the list :D He has been such an amazing friend to me....
Fu-owned!!!
I AM FU-OWNED FOR THE NEXT 31 DAYS BY THIS GREAT LADY, SHE'S A LOVELY LIL BIT OF FUN AND A GREAT FRIEND SO PLEASE SHOW HER LOTS OF LOVE AND SPANK HER HARD. RATE, FAN, AND ADD HER AND SHE WILL RETURN THE LOVE, TRUST ME SHE'S ALL THAT AND MORE!!! MISSLILBIT of T.H.U.G.S.@ fubar COME ON FU-FOLKS SHOWER HER WITH THAT FAMOUS FU-LOVE WE ALL HEAR ABOUT
Fu Own Me Lol
Fu~own Me...bids Are Open!
Fu-ownership
AMber420Nicole says: 150,000?!?!?! Don't you think I'm worth more than this??? If you can't bid at least leave me a rate and a comment. Click The Pic & Please Bid or Rate: < Show these fubarians some mad love!!! My owner and slaves are the awesomest!!! My fu-owner and R/L B/F babysatan♥™AMber's RL/BF & Pain in the ass♥™I own my AMber!@ fubar And my two fu-slaves! LOL babygirl_01 owned by "™AMber420Nicole♥‡Sisters4
Fu Own ???
Fu_own Me
here is how to won me click on the photo below and bid
Fu-owned Me
Fu Own Me Possibly Real Own:d
http://fubar.com/viewimage.php?u=1377182&albumid=856137&i=2967891273&idx=0 Please visit this page and bid on me, Highest Bidder may be luckier than she knows:D

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