Diamond's blog: "Just about me"

everyone keeps asking me, are you and elliott getting back together???WHY DO YOU FUCKING CARE??? if we do we do! ITS OUR LIVES NOT YOURS!!! so please dont put your nose where it dont belong!!!

coming home to an empty house will take it's toll... walking into this house and not hearing how was you day baby.... every night laying in bed alone and the memories overwhelm me... ever room i walk into...every step i take...every breathe i take... there's always something there to remind me... the pain you have caused... the heart you've broken for the last time.... the choice you made... the actions you took... the tears i've shade... i may be all alone in this house but atleast i'm happy with who i am and how far ive came... i won't let the memories of us hold me back... i won't give my heart to another man b/c of this shit you've done! i understand now why my girlfriend is who she is... with her i know i wont get hurt and she sure as hell wont break my herat! she may live in PA but we're closer than me and you ever were.. Forget a friendship or should i say friends with benefit as you would put it! that wont work and it wont be allowed by your girl... so have a great life with her... since shes what you want and what you need... so when you need money or need something.... just look beside you and ask your girl! i'm not gonna be your toy, i'm not gonna be your bank, i'm not gonna sit here and cry over you, and i sure as hell aint gonna worry bout you no more! you made your bed now lay in it.... keep me out your mouth, out your thoughts,and out of your dreams! I CANT STAND YOU!!!!

okay so im feeling a lil better....been thinking and some stuff came to me...one of my friends asked me when your in love when do you say enough is enough...i havent came up with that answer b/c i dunno...but have you ever notice in any relationship, if you try to walk away and not look back theres always that little something that holds you back..i think it's the good times you once shared together that keeps you going.....like hearing the first song you and them danced too...that first song that they sung to you without ever taking their eyes off you or missing a beat....when you close your eyes all you see is them smiling back at you...the one look that made you drop to your knee everytime...the way they said something over and over but no matter how much they said it to you it was always cute...the stupid little arguements you would have...so in the end i think the question should be how strong do you have to be to walk away and if you have the strength to walk away can you actually let go....

the pain i feel is overwhelming.... its eating away at me like a disease....... questions keep running through my mind over and over..... things i regret......people that i've hurt...... the feelings i have are to confusing for words..... i loved one and yet i wanted something more.... the one i love still stands beside me....how or why....is a question beyond me... the one i wanted probably rather see me dead....i dont blame you....for this i should be.... i couldnt keep it all inside any longer.... not only do i feel pain for myself and what ive done..... i regret hurting them....i regret putting them through this..... i regret not saying something sooner.... i was the one trying to live two lives...not meaning to...but i did..... this pain will not go away.... letting it go is harder than people think.... something i never thought i would do....yet i did.... to the ones i hurt i'm sorry.... sorry might not be good enough but its all i got.... ive learn a big lesson from this.... i dont know where ill go from here.... should i stay or should i go..... i dont want to go but yet i think i should..... the love will never be the same..... nor will that friend i thought i had...... nevertheless i just got to keep pushing through.... i'll get to the other side someday.....

well since my last blog, i'v found a new bf, got my eye brow pierced..next is going to ft myers and getting crazy for my friends b-day...things are a little easier to deal with..

i need a freaky women who isn't afraid to get down and dirty with me and my man...if you think your freaky enough to kepp up with us hit me up....

well it's sunday i finally have a day off from the drama of denny's...sometimes my job isn't worth all the bullshit and perverted cooks i work with..but i guess its better than anything