Sweetmomma luvs her chocolate MEN's blog: "Just a Thought"

George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said "no". Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available. George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them." Then he hung up. Within five minu tes thre e police cars, an Armed Response Unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red-handed. One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!" (True Story) I LOVE IT - Don't mess with old people!!

1 . Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2 . Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? 3 . If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? 4 . If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? 5 . Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? 6 . Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing? 7 . Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing? 8 . Why do "tug" boats push their barges? 9 . Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there? 10 . Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting? 11 . Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"? 12 . Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected? 13 . Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites? 14 . Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things? 15 . Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds? 16 . If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it? 17 . If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? 18 . If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 19 . If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right? 20 . Why is bra singular and panties plural? 21 . Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead? 22 . Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase? 23 . How come abbreviated is such a long word? 24 . Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? 25 . Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? 26 . Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one? 27 . Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks .

> >Your Tongue is Your Worst Enemy > >If you keep saying you can't stand your job, you might lose your job. > >If you keep saying you can't stand your body, your body can become sick. > > If you keep saying you can't stand your car, your car could be stolen or > >just stop operating. > >If you keep saying you're broke, guess what? You'll always be broke. > >If you keep saying you can't trust a man or trust a woman, you will always > >find someone in your life to hurt and betray you. > >If you keep saying you can't find a job, you will remain unemployed. > >If you keep saying you can't find someone to love you or believe in you, > >your very thought will attract more experiences to confirm your beliefs. > >Turn your thoughts and conversations around to be more positive and power packed with faith, hope, love and action. > >Don't be afraid to believe that you can have what you want and deserve. > >Watch your thoughts, they become words. > >Watch your words, they become actions. > >Watch your actions, they become habits. > >Watch your habits, they become character. > >Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. > >The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settle for. Watch how your circumstances and situations begin to change when you change the way you speak. > >'Life is like melted butter. . .once things cool down, it can be reshaped!'

Too many people put off the things that bring them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming, or are too rigid to depart from their routine. I got to thinking one day about all those people on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible. How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word "refrigeration" mean nothing to you? How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched 'Law and Order' on television? I cannot count the times I called my sister and said , "How about going to lunch in a half hour?"She would stammer, "I can't. I have clothes in the washer. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, "And my personal favorite: "It's Monday. "She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together. Because Americans cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches.... We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect! We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Steve toilet-trained. We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet. We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college. Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning,we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of "I'm going to," "I plan on," and "Someday, when things are settled down a bit." When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Rollerblades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord. My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker.If my car had hit an ice-berg on the way home, I would have died happy. Now...go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to... not something on your SHOULD DO list.If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask "How are you?" Do you hear the reply? When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, "We'll do it tomorrow." And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say "Hi"? When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift....Thrown away.... Life is not a race. Take it slower Hear the music before the song is over. It's National Friendship and FAMILY WEEK Show your friends how much you care. To those that are my friends... I cherish our friendship and appreciate all you do. "Life may not be the party we hoped for... but while we are here we might as well dance!"