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Man: “Haven’t we met before?” Woman: “Maybe. I’m the receptionist at the VD Clinic.” Man: “Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: “Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.” Man: “Is this seat empty?” Woman: “Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.” Man: “So, wanna go back to my place ?” Woman: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?” Man: “Your place or mine?” Woman: “Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.” Man: “I’d like to call you. What’s your number?” Woman: “It’s in the phone book.” Man: “But I don’t know your name.” Woman: “That’s in the phone book too.” Man: “So what do you do for a living?” Woman: “I’m a female impersonator.” Man: “Hey, baby, what’s your sign?” Woman: “Do not Enter” Man: “How do you like your eggs in the morning?” Woman: “Unfertilized !” Man: “Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason” Woman: “Yeah! Let’s pick up some chicks!” Man: “I know how to please a woman.” Woman: “Then please leave me alone.” Man: “I want to give myself to you.” Woman: “Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.” Man: “If I could see you naked, I’d die happy: Woman: “Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing”. Man: “Your body is like a temple.” Woman: “Sorry, there are no services today.” Man: “I’d go through anything for you.” Woman: “Good! Let’s start with your bank account. Then the door.” Man: “I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: “Yes, but would you stay there? It’s a good thing I have my library card, because I’m checking you out. Oh, sorry, I’m reserved for someone else. -------------------------------------------------- LOVED THAT MOVIE! This may be the all time most memorable response to a pick up line. From Erin Brockovich movie, starring Julia Roberts. Remember this scene? George: Can I get your number? Erin Brockovich: My number? Which one do you want? George: How many numbers you got? Erin Brockovich: Oh, I got numbers comin’ outta my ears. For instance: ten. George: Ten? Erin Brockovich: Yeah. That’s how many months old my baby girl is. George: You got a little girl? Erin Brockovich: Yeah. Yeah, sexy, huh? How ’bout this for a number? Six. That’s how old my other daughter is, eight is the age of my son, two is how many times I’ve been married - and divorced; sixteen is the number of dollars I have in my bank account. 850-3943. That’s my phone number, and with all the numbers I gave you, I’m guessing zero is the number of times you’re gonna call it!
Well as of today I deleted a certain person from EVERYTHING in my life. If you can't act like a REAL MAN then don't fuckin bother me. I gave this person a second chance cause I thought people deserved them..well not this guy.. don't have time for ignorance, lying and worthless men. He told me he needed space well become a fuckin astronaut then! I guess he gets bored with one woman and moves onto the next one...what a guy! I know a few like that..get a life! No MAN is worth the DRAMA ladies! Like I always say and is sooo true...WHAT COMES AROUND GOES AROUND. Asshole from beginning to end is more like it!!!! YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT AND YOU'VE JUST BEEN FLUSHED!!!
Black Eyes People with black eyes spend the shortest time in relationships except for the one with their current addiction. They are leg humping friendly to borderline sleazy. They always fall in love with anything that that has two legs, a pulse and a wet spot. They are great kissers----until they vomit all over you. They are very easy to please unless they haven't had their latest fix of alcohol, meth, cocaine, or prescription medicine. If you repost this and you have black eyes you will either O.D., spend the night in jail, or wake up next to some skank you've never seen before within the next 2 days. Blue Eyes People with blue eyes last the longest in relationships. They are kind, pretty or handsome,very good kissers and are really hot. They always fall in love with their closest friends and never understand why. They are very funny, outgoing and don't care what people think or say. They are very satisfying and love to please. Are straight up WARRIORS when necessary. if you mess around with them, they'll knock you out. If you repost this and you have blue eyes you will have the best kiss sometime in the next 5 days. Green Eyes People with green eyes have the most passion put into relationships,honest and trust worthy, they have long lasting relationships. People with green eyes are also the most beautiful, are fun and outgoing, love to make people laugh, random as hell. They long for the touch of another. They are very laid back. People with green eyes are very sexy and very attracted towards other people. LOVES to party. Tend to cover up true feelings, get scared over relationships.You will meet/stay with the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with if you repost this. Hazel Eyes People with hazel eyes are very loveable. They are really hot & sexy and are awesome to be around. They love 'pet names'. They don't care what people think or say. They are lovers, not fighters. But if you mess around, they'll knock you out. They are very satisfying and they love to please exept bitches. They can exceed your pleasure standards if they like you . They are very laid back, chilled and love to just be around. If you repost this and have hazel eyes then you will be happy soon with the person who is on your heart. Brown Eyes Either sexy as hell or are adorable. Loves to make new friends. Their relationship tends to be very honest because if they aren't truly in love, then the relationship won't work. They fall easily for their best friends. Will do anything for that special person. Kind and polite. Enjoys being with their guy/girl. LOVES to party. Great in bed. Can make ANYONE laugh or cheer them up. Loves to please the one they care for or love.Is not the kind of person that you want to piss off. Repost this if you have brown eyes and you will find the one that you are meant to be with within the next 7 min
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