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Bear's blog: "Just wondering!"

created on 03/16/2007  |  http://fubar.com/just-wondering/b65358

Heavenly Intervention

Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty. The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer hoosband 2 years ago?' She replied, 'Aye, that ye did, Father.' The Father asked, 'And be there any wee little ones yet?' She replied, 'No, not yet, Father.' The Father said, 'Well now, I'm going to Rome next week and I'll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband.' She replied, 'Oh, thank ye, Father.' They then parted ways. Some years later they met again. The Father asked, 'Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?' She replied, 'Oh, very well, Father!' The Father asked, 'And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?' She replied, 'Oh yes, Father! Three sets of twins and 4 singles, 10 in all!' The Father said, 'That's wonderful! How is yer loving hoosband doing?' She replied, 'E's gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin' candle.'
You gotta love Robin Williams...... Even if he's nuts! Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect Plan. What we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this Message. I am just not sure I agree with #10 . . . you decide! Robin Williams' Plan... (Hard to argue with this logic!) "I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for Peace. So, here's one plan." 1) "The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those "good ole boys", we will never "interfere" again. 2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany , South Korea , the Middle East , and the Philippines They don't want us there, anyway. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence. 3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be Gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are. They're illegal!!! France will welcome them. 4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide Here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers. 5) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby. 6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while. 7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling Up the storage sites would be enough.) 8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything. 9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens. 10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH...learn it..or LEAVE...Now, isn't that a winner of a plan? "The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses." She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'you want a piece of me?' "

Anal anyone???????

I am reposting this because I know you great people as a whole have some wonderful opinions and I would like to hear them. As I sit here trying to produce an OPORD for some upcoming hi-speed event, I was pondering why some people have anal sex phobias. Countless porn movies are dedicated to anal sex (a few are about really extreme anal sex!!!!!!!!!!!!). There are many publications about having anal sex with your partner. As for myself, anal sex is alright if I'm in the mood for it. (I'm a giver!) During my travels of the globe, I have come to this conclusion: 15% of women crave it in the butt, 30% will do it but won't tell their best friend, 5% only do it when the have had alcohol, and 50% won't even consider it (this demographic includes those prudes that won't suck a dick or get on top!) That leaves a 50-50 chance that the girl you meet will have anal sex. I know you are thinking, "why is this idiot thinking of anal sex while on the the job?", because at least once during the course of any work day there is always a discussion that focuses on sex and it leads to the dreaded anal sex question. being a keen observer of human behavior, I tend to notice which female secretly like anal sex, and the Hell No group. I have spoken about about my research to my colleagues and they have mixed reactions to my numbers. 45% say that I hit the nail on the head, 30% say that the number of prudes are way higher, 20% say the number of alcohol aided women are a lot higher, and 5% say that I'm just plain 'ol nasty. I want to here what you have to say about my research. I have a thick skin so please don't hold back. All responses will be considered for use in my book that I am writing in my spare time. I want to thank you for dropping by. Bear

Anal anyone???????

I am reposting this because I know you great people as a whole have some wonderful opinions and I would like to hear them. As I sit here trying to produce an OPORD for some upcoming hi-speed event, I was pondering why some people have anal sex phobias. Countless porn movies are dedicated to anal sex (a few are about really extreme anal sex!!!!!!!!!!!!). There are many publications about having anal sex with your partner. As for myself, anal sex is alright if I'm in the mood for it. (I'm a giver!) During my travels of the globe, I have come to this conclusion: 15% of women crave it in the butt, 30% will do it but won't tell their best friend, 5% only do it when the have had alcohol, and 50% won't even consider it (this demographic includes those prudes that won't suck a dick or get on top!) That leaves a 50-50 chance that the girl you meet will have anal sex. I know you are thinking, "why is this idiot thinking of anal sex while on the the job?", because at least once during the course of any work day there is always a discussion that focuses on sex and it leads to the dreaded anal sex question. being a keen observer of human behavior, I tend to notice which female secretly like anal sex, and the Hell No group. I have spoken about about my research to my colleagues and they have mixed reactions to my numbers. 45% say that I hit the nail on the head, 30% say that the number of prudes are way higher, 20% say the number of alcohol aided women are a lot higher, and 5% say that I'm just plain 'ol nasty. I want to here what you have to say about my research. I have a thick skin so please don't hold back. All responses will be considered for use in my book that I am writing in my spare time. I want to thank you for dropping by. Bear
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