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Ninja's blog: "Ask the Ninja"

created on 04/25/2011  |  http://fubar.com/ask-the-ninja/b340747  |  78 followers

First Prize

Lulabelle Schlitz  http://fubar.com/dianne

 Dianne is one of those people that lays aside her own problems and gives herself unselfishly to others to lift them up when they're down, make them smile, laugh, lend an ear for conversation. She's truly a good soul, it shines through when she talks about her grandbaby and her children. She uplifts her fellow woman and encourages you to be just as lovely as you are through her eyes. I've always told Dianne, if we ever met, I would want to photograph her, to show her exactly what others see, that she is a warm and beautiful person, through she ardently refuses to see that in herself. As I cannot fly all the damn way across the world (I often joke with her about how far she is)I want to do something nice for her and this seems a good opportunity. Aside from her being one of those fubar members who have been here since the very beginning of Lost Cherry, Dianne is one of those rare people who come here for friends and conversation rather than for status and bling. Though I know it would tickle her pink to win this and be up there flashing brilliantly for all to see. I love this woman.

Dianne, Dianne, your smirk is contagious,
You love clicking those nubie nudes, don't try to dissuade us

 

Nominated by http://fubar.com/138275  

 

Dianne was nominated 3 other times as well. Your friends truly think the world of you, and you deserve a place in the spotlight, as you have a solid place in their hearts.
So the happiest of Valentine’s to you, as you are loved for the way you love others, without any hesitation at all.

 

Congratulations!

 

Second Prize

NiteOwl http://fubar.com/9343561

Jack (Niteowl) should win the contest. I believe he deserves it as he does tries to brighten lady's days. To make them realize they are special and beautiful. He works as a Candian Wildlife Rescue so he rescues and tries to save the animals that have been hurt either by nature or by humans. It is not an easy job, he has seen some pretty bad things and yet he still gets on here to make other peoples days happier and to let them know they are appreciated.

He never leaves obscene or derogatory comments. He doesn't view, nor does he have an NSFW photos. He is a gentleman through and through. He always treats the women with respect. He treats them as if they are human and not just part of this game.

He also started a support team on here and a group of us send words of encouragement and keep the people in need in our thoughts and prayers. We were there when Loreal's daughter passed away on mother's day to give her support. We were there when Leona Ojalvo found out she had cancer and thought she was not going to make it - as it is she is now cancer fee. We have helped support Carle27 and many others on Fubar. All of this love and support is thanks to Jack (Niteowl) for starting the support team.

Nominated by http://fubar.com/9635959

 



Third Prize

Fan Secrets  http://fubar.com/516416


I have chosen to nominate, Secrets (Lori) . Not just because she is my Fu wife, but because of her overwhelming dedication to others. I have been in a rough patch in my life, and I am sure everyone has. If i wanted someone to be by my side during this time, It would be Lori. She has taken care of people who are sick, and dying. People with ALS. People who couldnt move, have had the will to move but couldn't do it. These people who she has taken care of could finish living the rest of their lives doing what they pictured because of her. Not everyone could pick their vegetables or change the channel on the TV to watch their favorite Team play. Its not easy being this person as well. It takes a mental and physical toll. You get attached to people who you love and care for. My idol in life was always my grandfather, not because of his acomplishments in life, but for how much he cared for people . In return the love he shared with others was never forgotten. I see the same qualities in Lori. She is an amazing person, inside and out. Thank you so much for your time reading this.

 

Nominated by Ryan http://fubar.com/3116156

CONTEST ENDED!!

So, it's been a good while since I've done any kind of contest, and I think it's a good time to do one.

 

First prize will be a Happy Hour and 1 ability bling of winner's choice

Second prize will be ability bling of winner's choice

Third prize will be a boomerang

 

Now, here's the catch, you can't win it for yourself. You have to nominate someone else, and tell me why they should win. The more details the better. Remember, this is a contest, so the more background you can give me on why they should win, the more likely it is they have a shot!

This is your chance to do something genuinely nice for someone else, and not have to fork over your own funds to do it. And don't lie. I'm actually pretty good at detecting bullshit.

 

RULES: (yep, there's rules)

1. Both submitter and nominee must be saluted. I don't care if they are a top level member, no salute, no chance. Period.

2. All submissions must be received by Feb 13, 2015 by 12 pm FU time. Send via Private Message

3. Winner can't have me blocked. (Sorry, can't send a prize to someone who has me blocked)

 

Submissions should be in the following format (to make them easier to read/follow)

1. Person's Funame

2. Link to profile (to check and make sure they are not blocked, and so I can award the prizes)

3. Reason for nomination

4. Whether you'd like the gift to remain anonymous.

 

The person who submits the winning nomination will also receive a special ability bling of my choosing.

 

Any questions or comments, leave them below. Please share.

 

~Ninja

 

*Update*

Higgs AKA POKEY has donated 25 credits to the contest.

Jerseyboy has donated 65 credits to the contest!

Ryan is an angel for making this banner! Please repost it!!

 

Due to the overwhelming support of the contest, I will be sweetening the deal for the winners. Haven't quite decided what the prizes will increase to, but the wheels are turning. Every repost you guys do gives me more and more faith in people here to think of others first.

 

Keep spreading the love! Thanks!


Click here to Repost this Banner!!!

 

Dear Ninja,

My girlfriend recently returned back to the workforce and wants a foot rub tonight. Should I give her the foot rub before or after she gives me a blow job?

This question is way too important to leave to the MuMMs. They fuck up everything.

~Dr. X

 

Dear Dr.

I don't see why it can't happen simultaneously. Although, if one must come first, I'd have to say the rub before the tug.

Most guys hit the sheets quickly after release, so unless you have a ball of energy behind that ball of spunk, she cums first, every time.

 

PS, to make your spunk sweeter, make sure you get your daily pineapple.

Or you can try this Super Spunk Smoothie:

  • 1 cup of pineapple, fresh or canned
  • 1 banana, frozen
  • 1 cup of apple juice
  • 1/2 teaspoon of ginger
  • 1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon
  • 1/4 teaspoon of nutmeg
  • 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract
  • 2 tablespoons of honey

Good luck ;)

~Ninja

Dear Ninja,

Almost a year ago I met an attractive, educated and polite woman and we began dating. We enjoyed each others' company very much (or so I thought) and within a few months she was spending many nights in my home. She was shocked by my overactive libido and it got to where she was practically living here. We were having sex as many as ten times per day. Then without warning, she just quit seeing me, answering my phone calls or the letters I sent to her home.

A few months later, she began visiting again, but told me she didn't want our relationship to be just about sex. I was OK with that and was eager to continue our relationship platonically.

A couple of weeks after our reunion, she stood me up for my birthday, then asked me a few days later to spend the day with her, driving her around to look for a pair of shoes for her sisters' wedding (to which I'd been invited to accompany her both by her and her sister). During that day (in April), she called me another man's name twice, introduced me by that name once and told a friend of hers on the phone that she was being driven on her shopping trip by that other man. I didn't register my anger to her at that time, but after thinking about it, I decided (on the day of her sister's wedding) to call her and tell her I wouldn't be going. That I didn't want to take that other man's girlfriend anywhere.

Since that time, she's yet to apologize, but has told mutual friends that I was completely at fault for standing her up for the wedding. She's also told them that it was entirely my fault we were no longer involved.

I had some Molly Maids cleaning my house recently and gave one of them some of her belongings that she left here. She has acted like I stole those objects from her and has acted like a spoiled child about it. Despite this, she has recently been telling those mutual friends that she wishes I would call her and try to patch things up

Am I being unreasonable to see it as good riddance to bad garbage?

 

Thank you for your response,
Indignant

 

Dear Indignant,

You have been in a cycle I call "Revolving-Door Relationships" where you leave out of it, then turn and go right back into the drama. That is some dumb shit too. It's like returning crappy Christmas presents, then walking right back in the store and buying the exact same ones.

You should have gotten the red flags when she just abruptly ended contact the first time that this bitch may just be a resident of Crazy Town. Either that, or this mindblowing sex that you think you're having, is really just convenience sex for her. And I call bullshit on 10 times a day. You're not young, so unless you pop Viagra like skittles. it's not happening. 

Also, she's using you. She needed a ride that day, and you happily obliged. Hell, gas is expensive. I'd love someone to drive me around. What are you doing for the next few forevers?

Then, as she called you another man's name, you allowed it instead of correcting her. It is possible that she's so spread out that she actually forgot your name (as wedding can be super stressful shit), but more than likely, you're just another one.

However, you did wrong by not informing ahead of time that you weren't going to be her date for the wedding. Feelings aside, you had apparently committed that to her sister, and that bitch was the bride! And replacing a date for a wedding isn't a quick phone call. So, yeah, douche move bro.

So, to sum it up:

Crazy Town, used you, drop the bitch, and douche.

 

~Ninja

Dear Ninja,

Well, I was with her for about 6 months. She always flirted with other guys, but I never said anything. She left and got with another guy three times. The last time, I was with her and a guy started to talk to her, and she told him that she was single. Then she walked off. I called it then. Now, she wants to get back with me.

Should I?

 

~Tommy

 

Tommy,

Not no, but hell nah! Someone who is willing to be unfaithful to you in front of you is definitely going to spread her vagina behind your back. You also made her cheating acceptable by not telling her anything when she flirted.

And since I highly doubt her pussy is worth the possible STDs she will inevitably bring you, I'd run before that twat becomes radioactive.

There are plenty of respectable women in this world who won't be such a skank. Don't waste your time on the same chapter. The rest of the book is much better without her.

 

Good Luck

~Ninja

 

Contrary to popular belief, it does not take a villiage to raise a child, it takes a good parent.

I see kids running the streets at night. I see them violating my property, my neighbor's, threatening adults, they have even burglarized homes to just "hang out" in them. I was informed today that they will break in, hang out, have sex, leave condoms and drug paraphenalia around, then set fire to the house before they leave.

And all the while, where are the parents? The police finally round up a few of them, and the parents then threaten the person who had their home violated. Are you kidding me? What the hell kind of parent lets their child be trash.

Once upon a time, parents were held liable for the actions of their children. Parents actually cared and knew where their kids were, who they were with, and taught their kids to respect people's property.  At one time, the worst thing you could ever do is talk to someone's mother about their behavior, and momma would handle it. Now, momma is too busy with baby daddy # (insert number here).

I have to come home almost daily to trash thrown in my yard, kids in my back yard, and threats by children. And I'm supposed to just take it because they are kids. I have told these kids, their parents, the neighbors that I am ALWAYS armed. And I will not hesitate to protect myself or my home.

I have to install a 2000 dollar security system because these people can't keep control of their trashy little punk kids, and I need to have it all on tape. I'm tired of this crap. Parents need to raise their kids to have respect for other people's property, or they need to be held responsible for what their idiot offspring does.  I don't give a crap what color their skin is, or who they think they are. This is MY home, and I will take care of what's mine.

 

/End rant


Consider this my good deed for the decade:

If you don't want people to judge you, stop posting everything on social media sites.

No one is judging you for having random sex with 19 guys at a time. They are judging you because you were stupid enough to post that shit.

No one is judging you for being in a relationship. They are shaking their head at your stupidity because yesterday you statused about how big a piece of shit he is and how horrible he treats you, and today, you got engaged. Are you fuckin serious?!

You should probably stop tweeting every shit you take, and learn how to refrain from posting about smoking a bowl.

You are aware that current and potential employers are actually doing their social media homework on their potential hires?

EVERYTHING that you post can and will be used to show that you are a jackass, and not fit to do anything productive.

Remember kids, we live in the age of information. And sometimes, the less incriminating crap you post, the better you will be.

~Ninja
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