Dan727's blog: "just blogs"

Handcuffed and shackled being lead down the hall Sterile room, gurney waiting Strapped in ready to go knowing im gonna meet my maker soon Last words saying im sorry Hoping for a call that never comes Eyes closing, lethel drugs running into my veins Time to sleep Closing my eyes forever

well now that i have had time to let all this sink in i am just as happy as i was the day i found my kids nothing has changed in that regard i love the fact that every night i get to chat with my kids on yahoo messenger and call them take them out to dinner never thought this will b a reality hearing my daughter tell me she loves me and my son calling me dad it feels funny hearing my kids call me that because i havent been in there life for such a long time ( people who know me know the reasons why) but im gonna love getting used to hearing them call me daddy i look forward to getting to know them and love them more each day learing what makes them click and what dosent and i cant wait till the nexttime i see my kids so i can hug and kiss them and sit and talk with them and my son is gonan b hell on wheels just like i was oh well mom always said me son would put me through hell guess now i get to find that out lol

well its been one week now since i found my kids after almost ten years i really hadnt slept till last night more then 2 or 3 hrs a night i took them out to dinner last night too and as i was sitting there looking at their 3 faces seeing them talking and teasing each other i had this feeling of total euphoria inside me i dont think i have ever been this happy in my life also i also relized how my son is just like me at his age 12 i used to tease and mess with my sisters just like he was doing my middle daughter just sat there smiling all night looking so happy my oldest daughter just sat there and gave it back to my son teasing him to me it as heaven watching all this unfold my ex wife not sure what she ws thinking i didnt ask her yes she was there too and no i didnt make her pay for her dinner my son picked the place tgifridays wasnt too bad i enjoyed the food cant wait for tomorrow im going to my ex wifes and me and her are taking the kids over to my moms

5 mins and what seemed like a lifetime i hurt bleed and should have died i made a terrible mistake ten years ago and ive spent what seems like a lifetime paying for it maybe now i know the reasons why i havent died as the lord know i should b dead havent heard of many people surviving hitting a concrete wall in excess of 100 mph like i did on thanksgiving eve 2003 with no selt belt on and live to tell about it i was in my own hell and didnt care who i hurt or not my mother bless her somehow has still put up with me and the hell i put her through ive lived through a personal hell of not seeing my kids for over 9 years and because of a sudden burst of rage i have spent the last 9 plus years in hell i dreamed of today and had nightmares of what my actions have cost me something that can never b replaced no matter how many stories i hear from her about my kids the scrapes the 1st days of school 1st loves and seeing them opening christmas presents ive lost it so i guess i will contuine to pay in my own way but now i ahev what i have wanted for as long as i can remember my daughters and sons back in my life thank you whatever power that made this nightmare and personal hell end

Saturday July 7th 2007 was the day ive waited for over 9 years i found my kids and on sunday july 8th i seen them for the 1st time since may of 1998 im in heaven i cant explain this feeling except to say im in heaven i have given up hope that this day would ever become a reality i got to hug my kids again talk with them see them make plans with them i even had to talk to my ex wife and that wasnt as bad as i thought it would be ive hated her for a long time but that hate seemed to just slide away. i always thought in like maybe 6 years or so from now that my kids when they was old enough would just show up with a knock on my door and i see these kids standing there not knowing who they are im stilll in a state of shock i cant believe i saw them i think someone is gonna pinch me and wake me up and it was all just a dream to my ex wife even tho i told u this if u read this thank you so very much and to cassie jordan and dylan i love u more then anything in this world ive missed u every day we been apart and thought about u every day words cant explain how i feel and what its like not knowing the person who is my flesh and blood sitting right beside me but i do love u and i hope u never thought i didnt To robbie and cathy thank you two so very much for being there for me all these years u guys where right hope is a good thing maybe now i will believe it (i get back to u on this one tho) i love both of u dearly and u two are my best friends in the whole world thank you so much and u know what was the best thing i didnt have to sell my soul to the devil for it to happen lmao and robbie thank you so much for last night i really needed that thank you hun u where a godsend

1. never loan money to a friend it may come back to haunt you #2. never promise anything you cant keep #3.murpheys law always applies #4.if you show any weakness someone will take advantage of it #5.love and hate there is a very thin line seperating the two #6.pretending to be happy is not being happy #7money is the root of all evil #8.you can always hope for the best but you should prepare for the worst #9.there are no guarentees in life #10.if at 1st you dont succeed, try again #11.only the strong survive #12.life inst fair you make your own breaks #13.dont settle, there is always more #14.the one you love may not always love you #15.being rich wont make you happy #16.everyone has a bad day sometimes #17. if it seems to good to be true about a 99.9 percent chance it is then #18.if someone says "i will always be your friend" dont count on it #19.watch who toes you step on , you may need them someday #20.leave a comment if you read this and you have a life lesson that you are willing to share

In my life I have fucked up many things just like the song its been awhile "its been awhile since i gone and fucked up just like i always do its been awhile but all that shit seems to disappear when im with you". Anyways ive learned no matter how hard you try or all the good u do u do one thing wrong and its over just like the old saying a 1000 attas boys are wiped out by one aw shit Ive learned that no matter what you do its never enough people always want more. Ive learned you can never please your mother, girlfriend or wife.( common thread here they are all women). Ive learned no matter what you do people will always remember the 1st impression of you or the last thing you did that was bad. Ive learned no matter how long you stay good one thing can trip you up and you are right back where you started. Ive also learned (no matter what people think ) there are no such thing as a true friend.( because there is always a condition to their friendship). I thought I had 3 of them in my life if im lucky i might have one right now. She knows who she is. As far as I know there are no conditions with her friendship but then again it took me years with the other 2 to figure out there was. The funny thing was one of them is a women too and the other one I have know since the day he was born he is like (was) family to me. Ive learned you can have a " heart of gold " and it wont matter. Ive learned you can run from your deamons but they always find you. Ive learned those demons dont care about what if they only care about right now. Ive learned no matter what you a tell a person they only hear what they wanna hear or change what you say to fit them. Ive learned there is nothing perfect. that you can only count on yourself and then you may not always be able to do that either. Ive learned that women and men always try to change the person who they are with but yet they fell in love with the person they met, and try to change them. They say love is blind im not so sure this is true. In some ways it is but sooner or later you try to change something about the person you love. Ive learned that the people who you think that will be there for you at the end usally are no where to be found. Ive learned never to borrow money to a girlfriend or friend .( I must be stupid because i still do it sometimes). Ive learned people can see more potential in you then you can see in yourself. Ive learned that life isnt always fair. Ive learned that nothing in life is perfect.

I am in search of the dark matter that surround's us yet is unseen everyday. You may not know me but you feel me in the air. My word's carry like a song long forgotten in time. I will be a soul for the souless, an orator for the mute, and an angel for the wicked. I am a seeker of unknown knowledge, a soul not yet complete on my journey thru the universes. Come away with me into the arena of the unknown and we will walk together into eternity