Lady Lucifer's blog: "just another thought"

the thing is when vic i knew that i was in love with him and one day i would love me, but little did i know just how deeply that love would grow to be! it is so fucking hard to describe in words how badly my heart hurts each and every time that i wake up and realize that hey man victor's gone. i know this may all seem very wrong to some you who read this because i am currently in a relationship but i cant help how i feel about vic and it might sound wierd but i love ci and they have nothing to do with each other i mean i love ci TOTALY but vic will always be a huge part me!any ways back to the subject..... i wish i had a way to tell victor how it feels to have been left completely alone without ever hearing good bye how my heart breaks every single time i hear his friends or some random person just happens to bring him up and say his name telling a story to tell him that so many days i feel like i'm empty that it hurts or how sometimes i wake up crying out his name my face soaked with tears and how every time i think of him i hurt and cry and pray that i could just die because i cant find any other reason to live for how without him i'm just not complete or happy maybe then he would see that my heart wont stop hurting for him...this pain is becoming to much.

i thought of you today, i remembered how it felt to hold you, and to be held by you. for a split second i could taste you sweet lips pressed so passionately against mine, then i came to relize it was just another thought in time. my heart broke and my very soul just died because your memory is i have left of the love that has become less than just another thought of everything that got left behind.