Fubar Blog Posts 2

Latino Friends!
WHITE FRIENDS: Never ask for food LATINOFRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food. WHITE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs. LATINOFRIENDS: Call your parents Mami y Papi. WHITE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. LATINOFRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying, Damn...we fucked up...but that shit was fun!" WHITE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. LATINOFRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget it's yours. WHITE FRIENDS: know a few things about you. LATINOFRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you. WHITE FRIENDS: Would knock on your door. LATINOFRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "estoy en casa!" WHITE FRIENDS: Are for a while. LATINO FRIENDS: Are fo life. WHITE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough. LATINO FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "Bitch, you better drink the rest of that, you know we don't waste!!"

Latin-rubbed Pork Loin Roast
Flavorful rub can be made ahead of time and stored in a tight sealing jar. Ingredients: 2-pound pork loin roast, trimmed 1 tablespoon ground cumin 1 tablespoon chili powder 2 teaspoons ground coriander 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1 teaspoon brown sugar 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon red pepper flakes 2 teaspoons ground black pepper Instructions: Pat pork dry with paper towel. Combine all seasonings for rub. Place in a jar with tight fitting lid; shake well to blend seasoning thoroughly. Store covered at room temperature. Apply 2-3 tablespoons rub seasonings to all surfaces of the pork roast. Place roast in a shallow pan and roast in a 350 degrees F. Roast for about 20 minutes per pound, or until internal temperture reaches 155 degrees F. Remove roast from oven and allow to rest 10 minutes before slicing. Nutritional Information: Calories: 151 Fat: 6 grams Cholesterol: 56 milligrams Carbohydrates: 2 grams Protein: 22 grams Sodium: 190 milligrams Saturated

Latin
Note: Some of the latin translations are loose. Carpe Diem - Seize the day Carpe Noctum - Seize the night Carpin Denium - There's a fish in my pants Carpe Ovum - Seize the egg Cave Canem - Beware of the dog Mundus vult decipi decipiatur ergo. (Screw the customer) Populus vult decipi. (The people want to be decived) Amor vincit omnia. (Love Conquers all) De mortuis nil nisi bonum. (Say nothing but good of the dead) Nil illegitimo carborundum. (Don't let the bastards get you down) - Good Omens Sic transit gloria mundi. (So passes away the glory of this world.) -Thomas a Kemp

Latino Vibe
You have seen them everywhere- in your favorite music videos con MTV3, on the internet, and winning at the Latin Grammys but you've never seen them up close- until now. 95.1 Latino Vibe presents- LATINO VIBE-RATION 2007! Coming to Phoenix May 19 and performing live at the Dodge Theatre: Residente Calle 13 Julio Voltio Illegales La Factoria Match & Daddy Addassa Toby Love Akwid Magic Juan Chelo Special Guest...DJ Kazzanova Tickets go on sale this Friday, April 13 @ 10:00am. Come out to the Dodge Theatre, enjoy free breakfast and drinks courtesy of Filiberto's and hang with the Latino Street Squad starting at 7:00am! Be one of the first to buy your way to LATINO VIBE-RATION 2007!

Latina
You Know You're Latina When.... You can fight two struggles everyday and make it look easy. You can make a child happy on Christmas Day even if he didn`t get a damn thing. You are admired and fantasized about by men of other races and know that when you do cross over it's done out of sincerity, not a political move. You watch other women pay plastic surgeons tons of money for physical features you were already born with. You curse a man out, make him feel like crap then, make love to him the same night and make him feel like a king. You can wear the hell out of spandex You can raise a Doctor, a World Class Athlete and an A+ student in an enviroment deemed by society as dysfunctional, broken, underprivileged and disenfranchised. You can heat a whole house in the winter without any help from the gas company. You can go from the boardroom to the block and "keep it real" in both places. You put a LATINO and his non-LATINA date on pins and needles just by wal

Latin
Non calor sed umor est qui nobis incommodat. It's not the heat, it's the humidity. Revelare pecunia! Show me the money! Die dulci freure. Have a nice day. Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam. I have a catapult. Give me all your money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head. Noli me vocate, ego te vocabo. Don't call me, I'll call you. Fac ut vivas. Get a life. Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem! Stand aside plebians! I am on imperial business! Romani quidem artem amatoriam invenerunt. You know, the Romans invented the art of love. Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant! May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy! Utinam barbari spatioum proprium tuum invadant! May barbarians invade your personal space! Re vera, potas bene. Say, you sure are drinking alot. Canis meus id comedit. My dog ate it. Vescere bracis meis.

Latina Mafia
Latinas and Latinos, We have a new artist!!!!!!! The tags will remain the same. The only thing that changed is the font. If you would like a new tag, please let her know!!!!! and remember to rate her Mafia ablum!!!!! lïckëTy§plïT~ØwnërÐï×ïëlï¶üØr§~cØ-Øwnër@§ØüThërnrëbël~Å§§Å§ïn@prïvÅTëbürrØw~ïnÐëpënÐënTfÅmïly~ @ fubar payneja01 aka "God-Father" of the Latina Mafia

La Times Questions Ashcrofts Concepts Of Freedom!!!
Los Angeles Times Wednesday, 14 August, 2002 Atty. Gen. John Ashcroft's announced desire for camps for U.S. citizens he deems to be "enemy combatants" has moved him from merely being a political embarrassment to being a constitutional menace. Ashcroft's plan, disclosed last week but little publicized, would allow him to order the indefinite incarceration of U.S. citizens and summarily strip them of their constitutional rights and access to the courts by declaring them enemy combatants. The proposed camp plan should trigger immediate congressional hearings and reconsideration of Ashcroft's fitness for this important office. Whereas Al Qaeda is a threat to the lives of our citizens, Ashcroft has become clear and present threat to our liberties. The camp plan was forged at an optimistic time for Ashcroft's small inner circle, which has been carefully watching two test cases to see whether this vision could become a reality. The cases of Jose Padilla and Yaser Esa

4/18/08... La/ Tickets/ And Psyc'hos
so yah. im in LA at the cyber cafe doin my online ticket sales b4 i get to coachella.. and goin bout my day. and of course.... u know who keeps chekn out my page. so..... i blocked her. atleast now she might get the point that i dont care about her at all. shes a slam pig. and as far as im concerened.... not to bright either. ppl told me to get rid of her for months. and i didnt listen to them. i really thought she was cool but of course....they were right. so here i am....in LA doin my shizzle. and tryin to do the best i can with what i got. i gotta killer pad offa hollywood n western... im happy. and wrkn my ass off... so ima get back 2 werk... and ill b online for a bit....so send me a shout/msg...blah :) ttyl muah ;) (feel free to copy n paste) lmao.

Latinos
LATINOS aren't cute, we're so FUCKIN BANGIN!! LATINOS don't just kiss, we make out. LATINOS don't relax, we chill. LATINOS don't dance, perreamos. LATINOS don't talk bad, we talk shit. LATINOS lips arent just hot, their the lips you wish you could kiss. LATINOS don't do it, we do it Suavecito. LATINOS are the people you could ALWAY'Z trust. LATINOS are the best REGGAET0N dancers LATINOS aren't nice, we're the shit. LATINOS aren't cool, we are a chevere! LATINOS are sexy! LATINOS have urges to fuck someone up.. LATINOS have bad ass tempers LATINOS is one nationality that u don't want to FUCK With!! LATINOS stick together... LATINOS are blessed when they are born because now were proud to tell everybody that we are LATINOS! LATINOS are...there isn't enough words that could explain how and who LATINOS are.! People envy us because they know we are better!!!! No nationality is more BANGIN then LATINOS!!!!!!!! && EVE

Latinos Are People Too
I bet you thought this was going to be a rant about Rush Limbaugh and how he said America does not need the Latino vote. WELL IT IS NOT - BECAUSE HE DID NOT SAY THAT... People seem to have alot of trouble stepping out from behind their own perceptions to hear the words coming from others in the spirit in which they were intended to be delivered. What Rush Limbaugh meant I am not even going to attempt to speak. He speaks for him. But I will tell you what I heard. I heard that what the dream is - from our Founding Fathers to Martin Luther King Jr. right on down to me is this - We want the AMERICAN VOTE. I WANT THE THINKING PERSON VOTING. THE PERSON THAT CAN PUT ASIDE THEIR GENITALS, THEIR SKIN COLOR, THEIR ETHNIC SORT OF CELEBRATIONS AND VOTE FOR WHAT IS GOOD FOR AMERICA AND UPHOLDS THE CONSTITUTION. So I was sorta disappointed when I saw a hispanic man of power talking on some pundits show, saying WELL, HOW DO YOU THINK THE REPUBLICAN LATINOS FEEL WHEN RUSH LIMBAUGH SAYS THE GOP

Latina Chick Naughty Gets Nude
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Latina Amateur Spreading In Kitchen
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Latina Girl Shows Pussy
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Latina Girl Shows Panties
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Latina Trany In Pantyhose
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Latin Stud Unzips Pants For A Nice Jack-off
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Latina Bisexual Foresome
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Latina Secretary In Stockings
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Latinus Horribilis Et Sempiternus
I don't know if any of you will find this as much of an "Oh God, it's like a train wreck and I can't look away" amusement as I do, but just in case... Terrible Latin tattoos! And hey, even if you can't appreciate the awful Latin, go look at the ugly tattoos! Just look at 'em!

La Times Report
- IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET................................1 - A JOB,2 - A DRIVERS LICENSE,3 - SOCIAL SECURITY CARD,4 - WELFARE,5 - FOOD STAMPS,6 - CREDIT CARDS,7 - SUBSIDIZED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE,8 - FREE EDUCATION,9 - FREE HEALTH CARE,10 - A LOBBYIST IN WASHINGTON,11 - BILLIONS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF PUBLIC DOCUMENTS PRINTED IN YOUR LANGUAGE,12 - AND THE RIGHT TO CARRY YOUR COUNTRY'S FLAG WHILE YOU PROTEST THAT YOU DON'T GET ENOUGH RESPECT.Fromthe L. A. Times1. 40% ofall workers in L. A. County ( L. A. County has 10.2 millionpeople) are working for cash and not paying taxes.This is because they are predominantly illegal immigrants workingwithout a green card.2.) 95% of warrants for murder in Los Angeles are for illegal aliens.3.) 75...% of people on the most wanted list in Los Angeles are illegal aliens.5.) Nearly 35% of all inmates in California detentioncenters are Mexican nationals here illegally.6.) Over 300,000 illegal aliens in Los Angeles County arel

La Times Gets It Right With The Gov.
http://articles.latimes.com/2010/jul/18/local/la-me-cap-20100719 if you dont want to read it all, here are the highlights The problem is California's unique and unworkable system of governing, an awkward contraption of conflicting parts created mostly by the electorate. In November, we'll elect another governor who's destined for more frustration and failure without significant systemic change in Sacramento. Change such as allowing state lawmakers to pass a state budget on a simple majority vote, overhauling a broken tax system, controlling runaway special interest initiatives with their ballot box budgeting, requiring a rainy-day budget reserve, easing up on legislative term limits and making local governments and schools less financially dependent on Sacramento Voters already have approved changes aimed at electing more centrist, pragmatic lawmakers willing to compromise. The changes -- snatching legislative redistricting from self-serving lawmakers and creating an open prima

Latley...
so thigs havnt been going that good. i want ot moveback to oxford or just out of this state all together cuz i hate it here now. on the plus side tho i died my hair this weekend it was great i did redish-pink highlights qwith the whole underneathe that color, yeh it looks pretty hot! but yeh other then that not much else has happened witch is sucky and boring but oh well! thats all for now, dezi

Latly/ Cross Country
ok so i havent been active on here for a little while hahah ive ben kinda busy hanging out with some kool people hahah i missed hanging out with anyways i just wanted to say that ill be selling my shit and getting out of here im going on a cross country roadtrip and i dont know if im coming back ..since ill be coming back to nothing whats the point ..i have a bed a tv , a computer a bunch of paintings and drawings and shit and cloths and stuff cds, records moviesand more you need anything let me know what youll give me for it and its yours

Latley Ive Been Talking To Jesus
When I made it there this morning . He was sitting on the edge of the bed, He had a suit case packed beside him, and his face was swollen red. The room seemed so cold, The years had finally took there course, And when he spoke he seemed so lonley , you could here it in his voice. He said latley , Ive been talking to Jesus , lattley I've been talking to the moon , talking to myself in public places , latley , I feel just like a fool . Sometimes just like a child, I wear my heart out on my sleeve , And latley , Ive learned that faith, Gives you the strenght, To do some awesome things. He droped his head to the floor.then he looked around this place, he said thoes pictures on the wall, remind him of her ways . He said he went to far a few times, and come close to the end, its like fighting an up hill battle, In a war that you can't win . Borrowing against time ,and barley getting by, Bitching over a dollar , and saving every dime . He said latley ,Ive been crying to Jesus ,latlety Ive bee

La Tortura By Shakira And Aljandro Saenz
Artist: Shakira Album : Fijacion Oral Song : La Tortura (English Translation) Lyrics : THE TORTURE (English Translation) Ay my gypsy Save the poetry Save the happiness for you I'm not asking that every day be sunny I'm not asking that there be a party every Friday Nor do I ask you to come back begging forgiveness If you're crying with dry eyes, Speaking about her Oh my love, it hurts so much It hurts so much That you left without saying a word Oh my love, losing you was torture I know I haven't been a saint But I can make it up to you Man doesn't live on bread alone Nor do I live on excuses We only learn from mistakes And today I know my heart is yours Better save that for yourself Take that bone to some other dog And let's say goodbye I can't ask winter to spare a rose bush I can't ask an elm tree to bear pears I can't ask the eternal of a mere mortal And go about casting thousands of pearls before swine Oh my love, it hurts so m

Latos Struck Out Four Straight At One Point
The Calgary Stampeders could soon know how long theyll be without the services of starting quarterback Drew Tate. T.Y. Hilton Womens Jersey . Tate has flown back to Calgary with an MRI scheduled for Tuesday to see the extent of the damage to his injured left shoulder. The 27-year-old pivot was injured rolling to his left in Saturdays loss to the Toronto Argonauts in just the Stampeders second possession of the game. He braced himself for a hit from Argos tackle Derrick Summers but was forced from the game after staying down on the field for some time. Stampeders head coach John Hufnagel told TSNs Katherine Dolan yesterday he expects Tate to be out indefinitely. The coach believed the injury to be either a separation or dislocation. The rest of the Stampeders, meanwhile, have flown to Kingston, ON for team workouts at Queens University ahead of the teams Week 3 match-up against the Montreal Alouettes. That game can be seen live on TSN on Thursday at 7pm et/4pm pt. Tate led the Stampeder

La Tristesse....
there within the darkness new i felt my tremble....i fear losing you if night falls deep as a shadow life grows then where can my star light~when clouds come~ my galaxie goes.... life is love....my angel above.... the butterflies beckon.... and i am so saddened....

La Trip 5/15-5/18
Thursday I got a phone call from a writer friend down in LA, he invites me to a screening of a military film. The film is a documentary called "Brothers At War". It follows a filmmaker, who's younger brothers are soldiers in the Army who have done stints in Iraq. He documents the family life here at home, his trip over to Iraq, his missions including a stakeout for five days on the Asyrian border and chasing terrorists, which result in him getting fired upon and two Iraqi soldiers shot. Damn good movie, funny, sad, exciting. Afterwards, they did a Q&A with the director, Jake Rademacher, and producers Norman S. Powell and Gary Sinise. All three are very accomodating and nice. Talk with them after the Q&A, tell them to give me flyers for the Playboy party. I'll upload the Q&A to my stash soon as I get it transferred. Oh, and Gary has a band, The Lieutenant Dan Band, and he referred me to his website when I mentioned we were doing a concert. So crossing my fingers! More to c

Latte?
What Your Latte Says About You You are easygoing and pretty simple to please. You don't put up a fuss... ever. You can be quite silly at times, but you know when to buckle down and be serious. You have a good deal of energy, but you pace yourself. You never burn out too fast. You're addicted to caffeine. There's no denying it. You are responsible, mature, and truly an adult. You're occasionally playful, but you find it hard to be carefree. You are sophisticated and daring, but you are never snobby. What Does Your Latte Say About You?

Latter Day Rant 9/2
Just came from a MuMM where someone was simply saying goodbye. I AM NOT blaming anyone. Didn't know the poster and they were gone before I came into the MuMM, but the goading and callousness that I read was a little scary. Have we all become so jaded that hurting someone's obviously bruised feelings is entertainment? I do frequently laugh at the stupid, the banal and vapid idiots who post MuMMs and even more so non-mumms. But, I think I am tasteful enough to know when to let up. I think we're growing into sharks/cannibals. We're not feeding to sustain ourselves or even for healthy culling, we're just being mean. I know people will complain... Luvs ya all but that's my opinion...

The Lat Thing I Ever Expected....... I Love You
That phone call... The one I never expected to get, The one with the familiar voice on the other end, The only difference is there's somthin different in his tone... Cold, Malicious with a touch of love for the one he cares about the most... That person being me. Than he tells me he's pullin out on the 20013-08-28. And there's a chance he may be killed, But if it happens I'll never hear anything about it and nor would anyone else I know you love me pit... I love you to, You lil shit.Your like my brother...Dispite you joke about not wanting to be my bro but wanting to be the homewrecker!! But god damnit to have to choke that down, That's the hardest thing I have ever had to eat.... Along with the side dishes of "I go it alone, If I die... I die alone, No one will be able to help me!" Were a team, You and I .... What happend to You jump... I jump? Your the only soldier I never had to think twice about it when I told you to take me to the big sand box with you. And when it come

La Tua Guida Per Smartphone Android
Seduto a destra in cima alla 'Best Smartphone OS' l'ambito titolo è l'Android. Android è fondamentalmente il frutto di Google. E 'stata lanciata nel 2007. Continuate a leggere l'articolo per saperne di più su smartphone Android. Questo sistema operativo Linux based progettato per gli smartphone oggi ha governato il settore mobile e tablet OS. Perché? perché il sistema operativo è un open source e non un proprietario. In questo modo quelle tonnellate di smartphone sviluppatori di software / hardware e gli appassionati per configurare il telefono in base alle proprie esigenze. Il primo telefono sotto la cintura era Androids HTC Dream. Google ha iniziato con la versione Android 1.5 (Cupcake) e poi rilasciato un sacco di versioni con più nomi di dessert e la versione corrente è 4.2 (Jellybean). Google ha fatto il suo dovere mentre si rilascia l'ultima versione del sistema operativo, e quindi il risultato è un sistema operativo slick e reattivo per qualsiasi smartphone. Il 2010 è stato an

Latvian Potato Salad
Latvian Potato Salad Ingredients: 6 potatoes 6 eggs 6 pickles (optional) 6 pickled beets, or equivalent in sliced pickled beets (optional) 1 apple (optional) Dressing: 3 large dollops of mayonaise (Hellman`s, if possible) 1 - 2 large dollops of sour cream 1 - 3 tsp. mustard 1 - 3 tsp. vinegar 1/4 - 1/2 tsp. salt 1/4 tsp. pepper 1 tsp. Worcestershire sauce (optional) Directions: 1. Boil potatoes until soft (but not until they are falling apart). Hard boil eggs. Remove skins from potatoes, and shells from eggs. Dice into fairly large chunks (about 1/2 inch in diameter). Dice optional ingredients into smaller pieces. Put all diced ingredients into a very large bowl. 2. Make salad dressing. Start with smaller amounts, and keep adding sour cream, vinegar, mustard, etc. until it tastes good to you. The salad dressing should taste somewhat salty and tart. 3. Add salad dressing to diced ingredients. Stir well. Cover. Refrigerate at least overnight. rating: 366

L'audace, L'audace, Toujours L'audace!
I won't be able to hide out in the bathroom anymore! Martha had just left for work this morning after we'd fed Jeffrey six ounces and laid him down for some tummy time and he fell asleep. I was in the bathroom taking care of business at about a quarter to nine when I heard some baby talk and thought it was Jeffrey. Then I heard footsteps and still sat until I heard a knock on the bathroom door. (I'm thankful my mystery guest -- OK, Sarah -- didn't open the bathroom door first.) I got up, washed my hands, and opened the door to see Sarah smiling at me! So now it is confirmed that she CAN turn the doorknob on her bedroom door and make it down the stairs. And when she wants to be, she is really polite! I'm reminded as I write this of when we were having lunch in Dakota Square Mall's food court Sunday afternoon and Sarah sat with her kids' meal. As she finished and gave every indication she wanted to get going, her aunt Mary next to her lifted her from the chair and she walked up

Laufey's Son
Laufey's Son In the beginning, there were the frost giants of of Niflheim and the fire giants of Muspellheim, and when the great flood came, many were washed away. Some found safety on a piece of Ymir's body that congealed into a new world, and they named it Jotunheim - the new home of the giants. Some say that it was formed of Ymir's spine and shoulders, for it formed itself into a land of great and imposing mountains, trees that nearly reached the sky, huge and fierce animals that roamed the dark forests, and lightning storms that split the sky. The surviving Jotnar found it welcoming, and they married each other and produced many new Jotnar - the mountain-etins, the woods-etins, the sea-etins. Some settled high in the cold northern mountains, or the western mountains by the ocean, or the islands, or the eastern rain forests, or the southern woodlands. And in one place in the south of Jotunheim, they settled in a strange forest. Its trees were shorter and harder than anywhere

Laugh 'n' A 1/2
by D-A-D I learned politeness on my mother's knee.. I learned by uprightness my number of friends Should increase... - When I think about the things I've done... I laugh out loud to noone ... - Yeah, to noone.. - 'Coz it's so hard to meet the eyes that I see When I try to open up my heart There's something inside me'n'I know it's good... - But understanding, it's misunderstood At the end of a smile, there's a laugh'n'a 1/2 - But I became honest Mr. Mistaken In spite of the curves my smile was makin'... Bumpers and kickers in one big stream I grew up in a life size pinball machine! Yeah! - They're mean!. 'Coz it's so hard to meet the eyes that I see When I try to open up my heart... There's something inside me'n'I know it's good.. But understanding, it's misunderstood At the end of a smile, there's a laugh'n'a 1/2 - On my behalf There's something inside me and I know it's good... But understanding, it's misunderstood At the end of a smi

Laughter Of A Child
Laughter arose from a garden in witch no one was in. A breeze blew from the fields and laughter came with in it. I looked from my window for miles in the direction from which the sound came from, but not one child or being was there. It was the laughter of children playing, which reminded me of the days I played as a child. But now, I was stuck in this house, cooped up with no where to go. Days went by and and days seemed to be the same. My house was full of people that didn't seem to care if I was there or not. But I still felt empty inside this house. People cared for me, but it was not the love and laughter I wanted out of life like when I was a child. I was just happy to have a friend who played with me. I cared to go back to those days, but we cant go back. I just hope and pray I one day find what I was looking for. The laughter of the child inside me again.

Laughter
Looking over my shoulder realizing I should be watching the lil ones instead of trying to figure this out lol I have come to realize that could be a big mistake giggles lets just say this pudding everywhere on their clothes...face..hands...floor..omg what I a mess and instead of being upset I am laughing...who said laughter was the best medicine is sorta right...peace

Laughter
"Laughter - that is something very sacred especially for us Indians." --John (Fire) Lame Deer, ROSEBUD LAKOTA Laughter is mental, laughter is emotional, laughter is physical and laughter is spiritual. Laughter helps us find balance. If we get too angry, laughter will turn that emotion in a balanced direction. If we have a mental picture of someone who is too strong, laughter will help ease the tension. If the body is stressed, laughter will release natural relaxants into our muscles and our nervous system. Laughter often changes our attitude. We need to lighten up and laugh more.

Laughter
A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery Â When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass." Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."

Laugh For The Day
When you occasionally have a really bad day , and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know . I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello." I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?" Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear, "Get the right f**in number!"..... and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a rea

Laugh Now Cry Later
~This or That~ by lazylizards63Hugs or Kisses: bothCoke or Pepsi: cokeSims or Myspace: myspaceChocolate or Gum: bothFriends or Family: familyQuad or Bike: quadCats or Dogs: bothLove or Money: loveSummer or Winter: winterHot Tea or Iced Tea: iced teaMilk or Water: waterChocolate, Vanilla, or Strawberry: chocolateMcDonalds or Burger King: in n outFast Food or Resteraunt: resturantMovies or Reading: moviesBeach or Lake: beachSleeping or Eating: sleepingCamping at a campground or Camping in your own backyard: campgroundGreen apples or Red apples: greenCookies or Cake: cookiesTalking or Listen to someone talk: bothFarting or Smelling it: ew lol ummmm farting lolTake this survey | Find surveysPimp My Profile

Laughing Me Socks Off
Just found a track by Ozzy Osbourne and Frank Zappa doing a cover of the Bee Gees Stayin Alive, its hilarious hahahahah that has cheered me up here u go monster specially for you i managed to work it out Ozzy Osbourne & Frank Zappa cover of Staying Alive by the Bee Gees

Laugh
Some laugh... Say I’m Crazy... when I know... Something bad is going to happen... But when I’m right... No one is laughing They are all too scared... It came true. I sincerely wish... I could be one of you... The “happy people”... Be all about bunnies and puppy love... But it’s kinda hard... When I close my eyes... I see all the wolds evil. Some say I was born defective... Even when I sleep... I see murder and rape... inside my head... So for now... Take joy in the fact... Your not like me. One of these days... I’ll beg you not to go... You’ll laugh it off... Like you always do. Laugh at me... Call me a freak... Go ahead... But just remember... One day... The joke... Will be on you.

Laught For The Day Ii
John woke up one morning immensely aroused so he turned over to his wife's side of the bed. His wife, Heather, had already awakened though, and she was downstairs preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Afraid that he might spoil things by getting up, John called his little boy into the room and asked him to' Bring this note to your beautiful Mummy.' The note read: The Tent Pole Is Up, The Canvas Is Spread, The Hell With Breakfast, Come Back To Bed. Heather, grinning, answered the note and then asked her son to 'Bring this to your silly Daddy.' The note read: Take The Tent Pole Down, Put The Canvas Away, The Monkey Had A Hemorrhage, No Circus Today. John read the note and quickly scribbled a reply. Then, he asked his son to take it back to 'The lady in the kitchen'. The note read: The Tent Pole's Still Up, And The Canvas Still Spread, So Drop What You're Doing, And Come Give Me Some Head. Laughing, Heather answered the note and then asked her son t

Laughter
“Life can be wildly tragic at times, and I’ve had my share. But whatever happens to you, you have to keep a slightly comic attitude. In the final analysis, you have got not to forget to laugh.” -Katharine Hepburn Most of comedy is built on tragedy – the slip on the banana peel, the pie in the face, the big misunderstanding. And we laugh because we can relate – we’ve been there. In movies there can only be so much drama before we’re offered up some “comic relief.” Writers know that audiences need a break in their emotions or they just go numb. Yes, life is tragic, and life can also be hysterically funny. Have you ever had one of those things happen where you say: “We’re going to look back on this and laugh one day?” We all have. And you know what? That day does come when we laugh – and it feels good.

Laugh And Die
I scream my own name. I brace myself for the pain. Now lay bleeding and looking at the feeling. transform before my eyes the faces disguse Show me the lesson in love and of faith above. The vison blurs like the world stirs. I watch it fade away, and cannot hear what you say. Hold on, you love me. But where where you when I was on my knees. You ask for forgiveness, for all of this, I would if I could. This is what I do, to show you, that you don't have it all, there are shots I still call. You hold me, to keep me here, call me beautiful, lovely, dear. But you still sit and watch with a lie. As I laugh and die.

Laughing
I may be in marketing, but if I *ever* create boring marketing coin phrases, please, get me to a pro wrestling show or a Madonna concert so I can come alive again. Thank you in advance, this has been your memo :) XOXX, Bam

Laugh Out Loud
have a laugh today.. I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown), who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish. I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only

Laughing Wind In My Ear
Cold half moon hurls through autumn skies The maple trees wave their sad good-byes Leaden clouds roll quickly into the east The stars reach out their lights to me While an errant wind laughs in my ear "what do you want here little man?" "why do you suffer and struggle so?" "Who do you think you are fooling friend?" "when will you give up your hopes and dreams?" "where did you think your life would go?" I sit numb and frozen in the open window, pondering, wondering, alone in the night I growl a warning at it's smirking leer Enough! I draw my weary frame upright, shoulders square, my teeth are bared. "No longer can I be swayed by doubt " "I am a man on a mission" I shout "I know my heart, and know my mind" "I seek loves must priceless treasure, " "that I was forced to leave behind" The moon completes it's nightly circuit the clouds have been long swept away, on the heels of the passing autumn wind The stars eclipsed by the dawning light of the rosy Septem

A Laugh
A guy walks into a Glasgow library and says to the prim librarian, "Excuse me Miss, day ye harv eni books on suicide?" To which she stops doing her tasks, looks at him over the top of her glasses, and says, "Fook off, ye'll no bring it back!" ************ ********* **** This is the story of Cinderella and her Sugly Isters Cinders and her Sugly Isters lived in a Marge Lansion. Cinders worked very hard. Frubbing Scloors, Weaning Clindows, Emptying Poss Pits and Shiveeling Shut! By the end of the day she was Nuckin' Fackered. Her Sugly Isters were fight Cucking Runts ! They did no Wucking Ferk, and had no Wucking Furries. They were right Bugly Astards. One was called Mary Hinge and the other was called Betty Swollocks. They were always Pucking Fissed. The two Sugly Isters had tickets to go to the Ball. Cinderella was Ducking Fisgusted when the Cotton Runts would not let her go. Buttons worked with Cinders. He was gifted with Nuge Hackers and a Shairy Hithole.

Laugh It Up, Son...
Since today, January 22, is routinely labeled by experts as the most miserable day of the year, here are some things that made me laugh today. They are headlines culled from Fark.com, the holy grail of weird news reporting. Hopefully, they will cheer you up as well. Cheesemaker appeals for return of equipment in caerphilly-worded statement. Brie on the lookout, edam well wants it back During a dispute do you A) punch a 3-year-old and a 9-month-old in the face, B) attempt to drag a woman from her car, or C) ask arresting officers where they live so you can molest their wives? This overachiever goes for D) All of the above What evangelical program has converted over 400,000 people through its ministry? Why, Karate for Christ, of course Drunk driver still blames everyone else. Yep, that includes the 76-year old deaf man he ran over, who "wasn't where he should have been." Study finds hopping on one leg 50 times a day can help women stave off osteoporosis, land Paul McCart

Laugh For The Day
A lady approaches her priest and says, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquires. "They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're Horny. Want to have some fun?'" "That's terrible," the priest exclaims, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship." "Thank you!" the woman responds. The next day, the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots, and the female parrots say, "Hi, we're Horny, want to have some fun?" One male parrot looks at the other male parrot and excl

Laugh !
One day old man Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the Illinois State Fair. There is this man selling plane rides in his single prop show plane for $10 per person. Stumpy looks to Martha and says, "Martha, I think I really should try that." Martha replies, "I know you want to Stumpy, but we have a lot of bills, and you know the money is tight, and $10 is $10." So Stumpy goes without. Over the next few years they return every year, and the same thing, Stumpy wants to ride, but Martha says no money. Finally, when Stumpy and Martha are both about 70 years old, Stumpy looks to Martha, and says, "Martha, I'm 70 now, and I don't know if I'll ever get the chance again, so I just have to have a ride in that there airplane." Martha replies in the same old fashion, and Stumpy kind of slumps down. The pilot is standing near by and overhears the conversation... The pilot pipes up, "Excuse me folks, I couldn't help but hear your situation, and I have a deal for you. I'll take both of y

Laugh Love Cry!
¢¾¢¾¢¾¢¾¢¾¢¾¢¾ As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back ¢¾¢¾¢¾¢¾¢¾¢¾¢¾

Laugh !!!
That’s a good girl let me see those cheekbones Shoot 16 times before I need to reload Drag your tongue up and down the “P” road Pin me down in a savage throat hold Press hard against an organ that won’t fold Press those glossy lips and never let go Turn off the lights and see your pretty face glow You don’t get to play on your chest until after you swallow Roll with the thrust you’re so impressive You know better then to try to caress it A nice brutal grip I need it aggressive Treat it like an adversary and beat it into submission Pucker those pretty lips let me see them glisten That’s it, right there, you’re gonna get a christening I’ll fill you up with something you know you’ve been missing Break me down and give me a fixing

Laughter
Laughter is a necessity in life that does not cost much, and the Old Ones say that one of the greatest healing powers in our life is the ability to laughLaughter is a good stress eliminator. Laughter causes healing powers to be distributed through our bodies. Laughter helps heal relationships that are having problems. Laughter can change other people. Laughter can heal the sick. Laughter is spiritual. One of the greatest gifts among Indian people has been our ability to laugh. Humor is natural to Indian people. Sometimes the only thing left to do is laugh. Great Spirit, allow me to laugh when times get tough. When we laugh we are releasing things that would otherwise make us ill. It is a way to get rid of toxic stress on our bodies. Don't you feel so good after a good laugh? The body tingles at times and this is helping the circulation pathways. So who says Laughter is not good medicine for the heart? Sadness and stress kills! Thank you for showing me I can l

Laugh A Little ;)
*If you're a dom who thinks a good buy is that puppy collar on special at K-Mart...You ain't. *If you're a dom and you think that a "crop" is this autumn's wheat harvest...You ain't. *If you're a dom and you think a sub needs lettuce, tomato and pickles...You ain't. *If you're a dom and you think your sub can stay underwater for weeks...You ain't. *If you're a sub whose idea of punishment is taking a bath before sex...honey...You AIN'T! *If you're a sub who thinks the "power exchange" is where you pay your electric bill...You ain't. *If you're a dom who thinks that "edge play" is spitting over the side of a bridge...You ain't. *If you're a sub and you think "taking it to the limit" is an Eagles' song...You ain't. *If you're a sub who thinks that "sub space" is a Star Trek communications mode...not only are you NOT...but you're a geek! *If you're a dom and you think "topping" is what Dairy Queen puts on your banana split...You ain't. *If you're a

Laugh Of The Day!!!!!!
Women's Ass size study > > > > There is a new study just released by the > American Psychiatric Association about women and how > they feel about their asses. The results are > pretty interesting: > > > > 1. 5% of women surveyed feel their ass is > too big. > > 2. 10% of women surveyed feel their ass is > too small. > > 3. The remaining 85% say they don't care; > they love him; he's a good man, and they would have > married him anyway. > > MyHotComments / HotFreeLayouts

Laughing Sky
This is a condensed combination of the Vampire Creation Myth. To my knowledge, there are five, three of which I have seen. All are based on Native American myth but two are based on 'The Book of Enoch' (about the fallen angels and the Watchers). To save time I have condensed the non-Christian ones here. To my knowledge the basis for these myths are deeply rooted in the religious lore and Shamanism of the Lakota Sioux, Cherokee and Black Foot Nations. The Myth There was once a brave and powerful Medicine Man and Healer who was kind and ruled his tribe with love. His brother was the Chief of the Ten Tribes. The Medicine Man loved a maiden named Laughing Sky. He and his love were wed and they lived among their people in peace and harmony with all. But Laughing Sky was barren and brought forth no children. One day the Medicine Man, in his anguish for the lack of a son, raised his head and challenged the Great Spirit. He declared that he would no longer obey all thin

Laugh & I'll Sock Yo A$$ In The Throat
Amongst Pairs and Duets, I do not belong-I do not belong....arranged on this path -lost in a world of ghosts...have I been so damn wrong....To believe in a word or a thought, i've never held or seen.....If I ever did, it was never within my reach....I'm sick with such sadness...I can not see....above this fog or beneath my feet....Astray are my daydreams, admist the ringing in my head...Such innocent belief with which I've been lead...>Surrounded within my walls of fear and discreat, hide my true destiny , so far from me.....Acceptence -go hand in hand.....with Denial and Defeat......So close to suffering and settling-regret nothing and longing everthing with smiles......This is what has been in me all the while.................................................................

Laugh
The Creation of West Virginia Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet ," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of earth, "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle Ea

Laugh 4 Today
My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Marriage is a three-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- For Sale : Wedding dress, size 8. Worn once by mistake. --------------------------------------------------------------------- There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman: Before marriage and after marriage. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Why were hurricanes usually named after women? Because when they arrive, they're wet and wild, but when they go, they take your house and car. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job. "Look Miss," said the foreman, "have you any actual experien

.laughing.
so im goin straight to hell. and i like it. the people that annoyed me earlier? not nice things happened to them. best part? i didnt do it. well cept for the ppl callin for mike...but they stopped...so i win. little miss grocery store bitch got in trouble with the manager. little miss ima tell you how you need to be cuz ima better person than you are and you shouldnt do this that or the other cuz it makes people not want to talk you fell up the curb n split her lip. no. i didnt laugh too hard. just...a uhm...ok fine i laughed sue me. it was funny dammit. and she's a bitch. i hate my neighbors. i love my friends. i want my friends to be my neighbors. that would solve everything. *laughs* so anyway. i hafta go...uhm...well eat. nobody hit me for mentioning food. kthnxbi :D

Laughing At Myself
So I was at work today,being the cook.(Oh my). When my manager tells me to double up fries. Well you know me, I put another fry pan on top of another. (doubling up the fries) Of course thats not what he wants me to do. He looks back yells and asked me what I was doing. I said doubling up the fries. He says no, pour the fries in one fry pan. I started laughing and I said well isn't that funny. Of course he didn't think so. He told me He didn't know to laugh or cry.

Laughing Silently...you Leave
You look at me And laugh in my face So just leave me be I need my space We were a team Two really good friends Or so it would seem We were together to the end What happened when you left my place On the day he brought you great pain Now it seems I have been replaced And the feeling nags at me, driving me insane He now comes before me Though you say its not true But obviously you dont see All the things I do You left my side to be with him And while you say you care You show differently because he fulfills your every whim And the time we had together we no longer share I have lost everything I care about I cant take the pain anymore I want to stand and shout Now I will no longer implore You have hurt me Just like everyone else So go and let me be Alone again, at last by myself Go now I dont want you here I dont want you around So you wont sit and peer go without making a sound

Laugh, I Did ! Lol
Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible." She sleepily replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that shit." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A husband and wife and their two sons are watching TV. She looks at her husband and winks at him, he gets the message and says, "Excuse us for a few minutes boys, we're going up to our room for a little w

Laughter And Smiles Part 1
The most wasted day of all is that on which we have not laughed. ~Nicholas de Chamfort Happiness is a form of courage. ~Holbrook Jackson A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. ~Phyllis Diller Don’t get your knickers in a knot. Nothing is solved and it just makes you walk funny! ~Kathryn Carpenter May all your walls know joy; May every room hold laughter and every window open to great possibility. ~Maryanne Radmacher-Hershey The little things are most worthwhile-a quiet word, a look, a smile. ~Margaret Lindsey All the statistics in the world can’t measure the warmth of a smile. ~Chris Hart I am the laughter of a newborn child on whose soft-breathing sleep an angel smiled. ~Richard Watson Gilder The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed. ~Bennett Alfred Cerf

Laughter And Smiles Part 2
You cannot always have happiness, but you can always give happiness. ~Anonymous Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place. ~Josh Billings~ Laugh at yourself first, before anyone else can. ~Elsa Maxwell~ A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition. ~William Arthur Ward~ Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing. ~Mother Teresa And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter and the sharing of pleasures. ~Kahlil Gibran A smile starts on the lips, a grin spreads to the eyes, a chuckle come from the belly; but a good laugh bursts forth from the soul, overflows, and then bubbles all around. ~Carolyn Birmingham Joyfulness keeps the heart and face young. A good laugh makes us better friends with ourselves and everybody around us. ~Orison Swett Marden Laughter is an instant vacation. ~Milton Berke

Laughter And Smiles Part 3
Smile, it is the key that fits the lock of everybody’s heart. ~Anthony J D’Angelo If you see a friend without a smile, give him one of yours. ~Proverb Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: All of them make me laugh. ~W.H. Auden Let there be more joy and laughter in your living. ~Eileen Caddy Laughter is the musical workout of the soul. ~Gerry Hopman We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can. ~Will Rogers Nothing is more silly than silly laughter. ~Catullus Laughter is the sun that drives the winter from the human face. ~Victor Hugo Joy is not in things, it is in us. ~Benjamin Franklin

Laughter And Smiles Part 4
Nothing shows a man’s character more than what he laughs at. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe A laugh, to be joyous, must flow from a joyous heart, for without kindness, there can be no true joy. ~Thomas Carlyle That is the best-to laugh with someone because you both think the same things are funny. ~Gloria Vanderbilt Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important. ~Janet Lane Laughter is the language of the soul. ~Pablo Neruda Laughter is the closest distance between two people. ~Victor Borge Peace begins with a smile. ~Mother Teresa The best things in life are silly. ~Scott Adams She knew what all smart women knew: Laughter made you live better and longer. ~Gail Parent

Laughter And Smiles Part 5
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. ~Lord Byron Laughter is not a bad beginning for a friendship, and it’s the best ending for one. ~Oscar Wilde One of the best things you can have up your sleeve is a funny bone. ~Anonymous The sound of laughter is like the vaulted dome of a temple of happiness. ~Milan Kundera Carry laughter with you wherever you go. ~Hugh Sidey The best blush to use is laughter: It puts roses in your cheeks and in your soul. ~Linda Knight Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. ~Mark Twain It was not a laugh but merely a loud smile. ~Anonymous Happiness is a direction, not a place. ~Sydney J. Harris

Laughter And Smiles Part 6 Final Installment
Humor is wit and love. ~William Makepeace Thackeray A laugh is a smile that bursts. ~Mary H. Waldrip Laughter translates into any language. ~Anonymous In every job, relationship, or life situation, there is inevitably some turbulence. Learn to laugh at it. It is all part of what you do and who you are. ~Allen Klein He deserves paradise who makes his companions laugh. ~The Koran Laugh and your life will be lengthened for this is the great secret of long life. ~Og Mandino He who laughs, lasts. ~Mary Pettibone Poole Some pursue happiness, others create it. ~Anonymous

Laughing All The Way To The Bank.
Dear Mr. President, I just wanted to say Thank You for the outrageous gas prices! I just paid $2.90 for one gallon; it was $2.78 yesterday so I just spent another 12 cents a gallon! I am sure this brings you joy as your bank account grows and mine diminishes. I didn’t really like when gas was only $1.69 when you came into office, made me feel like I was not supporting you and your administration in getting rich. You know my goal in life is to make sure your comfortable. So enjoy the million-dollar home, the fancy car, and the 7-figure bank account. My fellow Americans and I will continue to struggle just so you can live lavishly on the hog.

Laugh For July 12
Thanks Sharon for this one ... In Lebanon , men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* In Bahrain , a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror. (Do they look different reversed?) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. (A brick?) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Much worse than "going blind!") *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first tim

Laugh For July 13
Staff Meeting The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. (This is one pretty sharp boss!) When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest. The theme: Viagra advertising slogans. The only rule was they had to use past ad slogans, originally written for other products that captured the essence of Viagra. Slight variations were acceptable. About 7 minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and created a Top 10 List. With all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well for everyone! The top 10 were: 10. Viagra, Whaazzzz up! 9. Viagra, The quicker pecker picker upper. 8. Viagra, like a rock! 7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight. 6. Viagra, Be all that you can be. 5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone. 4.

Laugh For July 14
The 5 questions most feared by men are: What are you thinking about? Do you love me? Do I look fat? Do you think she is prettier than me? What would you do if I died? What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly(i.e., tells the truth). As a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible Responses. Question # 1: What are you thinking about? The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you." This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer,which most likely is one of the following: a...Baseball. b...Football. c...How fat you are. d...How much prettier she is than you. e...How I would spend the insurance money if you died. Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al

Laugh For July 15
David, the fisherman, had driven by the lake many times and had seen some other anglers about, so he decided to give his luck a try. On his first day of fishing he had no luck at all but noticed that another fisherman near him that was scooping in one after another. He had to know The Secret. "Excuse me sir, but would you mind telling me what sort of bait you are using?" he asked. The other man looked around a bit embarrassed. "Well, I am a surgeon, and quite by accident I found that human tonsil works very well." David thanked the man, thought about what sort of bait to try next time, and left. The next day, David returned to the lake, tried a different bait and still had no luck. Just as the day before, there was yet a different man reeling in fish after fish. "Excuse me," asked David, "but could you suggest a bait that I could try?" "Well, I can, but I am not sure it will do you any good. I am using a bit of human appendix." "Hmm," thought David. It seemed that the fi

Laugh For July 16
The LAPD, the FBI, and the CIA The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming. The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!

Laugh Out Loud
26 Tips to the perfect relationship...brought to you by my good friend Cody Current mood: indescribable This is soooooo fucking funny!!! Enjoy... 1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better." This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that. 2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really hard until she cries (this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are). 3. Once a month, sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs; they love to be roughed up. 4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say "you better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care. 5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement. 6. Recognize the small things, a

Laugh For July 17
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each proceeded to buy a pint of Guinness. Just as they where about to enjoy their creamy beverage three flys landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer from him in disgust. The Scotsman scooped at his beer until he washed the fly out and then continued drinking. The Irishman carefully picked the fly out of his drink, then held it out over the beer and started yelling "SPIT IT OUT YOU -------! SPIT IT OUT!!!!"

Laugh For July 19
Got Milk? A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons So he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?" The blonde said, "I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again." The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?" The blonde said, "No, just up to my tits. I can splash it on my eyes."

Laugh It Off...
A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone. A few days later, he received this report: MOST HONORABLE SIR: YOU LEAVE HOUSE I WATCH HOUSE HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH. HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE. I FOLLOW. HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL. I CLIMB TREE. I LOOK IN WINDOW. HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE. HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE. HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE. I PLAY WITH ME. FALL OUT OF TREE. I NOT SEE. NO FEE, CHEN LEE. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "You Can Be THE Man of Your House." He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go ups

Laugh For July 21
Idiots on the computer Any time you feel dumb, don't worry. Check out the following excerpts from a "Wall Street Journal" article by Jim Carlton. Lots of people are dumber than you. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the many calls asking where the "Any" key is. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes by rolling them into a typewriter to type on them. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the flopp

Laugh For July 24
A Lawyer in the Family For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap! "Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!" "Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer."

Laugh For July 25
Workman's Comp Dear Sir, I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In block number 3 of the accident reporting form, I put "trying to do the job alone" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully, and I trust that the following details will be sufficient: I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of brick left over. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which, fortunately, was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the brick into it. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tight to insure a slow descent of the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note, in block number 11 of the accident

Laugh For July 27
Simple Test The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a professional. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator? Wrong Answer. Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend... except one. Which animal does not attend? Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did not answer the first three

Laugh For July 28
Tattoo Art... A woman walks into a tattoo parlour. 'Do you do custom work?' she asks the artist. 'Why of course!' 'Good. I'd like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of my right thigh, and a portrait of Paul Newman on the inside of my left thigh.' 'No problem,' says the artist. 'Strip from the waist down and get upon the table.' After two hours of hard work, the artist finishes. The woman sits up and examines the tattoos. 'That doesn't look like them!' she complains loudly. 'Oh yes it does,' the artist says indignantly, 'and I can prove it.' With that, he runs out of the shop and grabs the first man off the street he can find; it happens to be the town drunk. 'Well, what do you think?' the woman asks, spreading her legs. 'Do you know who these men are?' The drunk studies the tattoos for a couple of minutes and says.'I'm not sure who the guys on either side are, but the fellow in the middle is definitely Willie Nelson!'

Laugh For July 29
Driving Home A man was driving home late one afternoon, and he was driving above the speed limit. He looks in his rear view mirror and notices a police car with its red lights. He thinks, "I can outrun this guy", so he floors it. The cars are racing down the highway - 60, 70, 80, 90 miles an hour. Finally, as his speedometer passes 100, the guy realizes he can't outrun the cop so he gives up and pulls over to the curb. The police officer gets out of his cruiser and approaches the car. He leans down and says "Listen mister, I've had a really lousy day, and I just want to go home. Give me a good excuse and I'll let you go." The man thought for a moment and said, "Three weeks ago my wife ran off with a police officer. When I saw your cruiser in my rear view mirror I thought you were that officer and you were trying to give her back to me!"

Laugh For July 30
Wags to Wagers One night a man decides to visit his local bar... He takes a seat and orders a beer. After polishing off his beer, he beckons the bartender over and says, "Betcha $20 I can bite my eye." The bartender scoffs and accepts the wager. The man then calmly removes his false eye and bites it. The bartender be grudgingly forks over the loot. Later that night, after a few more beers, the man wanders back to the bar and says rather drunkenly, "Hey barkeep, betcha another $20 I can bite my other eye." Wanting to win back his money, and seriously doubtful that the man has two false eyes, the bartender accepts the wager. The man calmly removes his false teeth and bites his other eye! Scowling, the bartender hands over another twenty. The man leaves and wanders around the bar as he drinks a few more beers. He strolls back over to the bar, leaning on it, again and calls the bartender, "Hey, barkeep," he burbles, "I'll give you a chance to win

Laugh For August 4
An actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a Fast Food Restaurant ...and they hired him because he was so honest and funny! NAME: Greg Bulmash SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person. DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. SALARY: Less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT

Laugh For August 5
How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb? Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp! Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry. Rottweiler: Make me. Shi-tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling. Let the servants. . . . Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I? Malamute: Let the Border collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch. Boxer: Who

Laugh For August 6
Redneck jokes .... hell, I live in Alabama now, what did ya expect? A redneck died and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow. However, she can't touch it until she turns 14. Down home, folks now go to some movies in groups of 18 or more. They were told 17 and under are not admitted. The minimum drinking age down home has been raised to 32. It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools. Down home, reruns of "Hee Haw" are called documentaries. How can you tell if a redneck is married? There's tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck. Down home, we've got a new $3,000,000 State Lottery. The winner gets $3 a year for a million years. Recently, the Governor's Mansion burned down. In fact, it took out the whole trailer park. The best thing to ever come out of my hometown is Interstate 40. A State Trooper stopped a pickup truck. He asked the driver, "Got any ID?" The driver said, "Boutwhat?"

Laugh For August 8
Alabama Dumb Laws It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. Dominoes may not be played on Sunday. It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church. Putting salt on a railraod track may be punishable by death. Boogers may not be flicked into the wind. Bear wrestling matches are prohibited. It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile. You must have windshield wipers on your car. You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time. Masks may not be worn in public. Men may not spit in front of the opposite sex. You may not drive barefooted. It is illegal to maim oneself to escape duty. It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy. Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men. Incestous marr

Laugh For August 10
Big 10 Inch Two friends were in a bar drinking a beer when one pulled out a cigar but he didn't have a lighter so he asked his friend if he had one.. "I sure do," he replied and reached into his pocket and pulled out a 10 inch Bic lighter. "Wow!" said his friend, "where did you get that monster." "I got it from my genie." "You have a genie?" he asked. "Yes, he's right here in my pocket." "Could I see him?" He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a very small genie. The friend says, "I'm a good friend of your master. Will you grant me one wish?" "Yes I will," the genie said so he asks him for a million bucks and the genie hops back into his master's pocket and leaves the man standing there waiting for his million bucks. About this time, a duck walks into the bar followed by another. Then more ducks come pouring in. Before long the entire bar has ducks everywhere. The friend tells his buddy, "What is going on here, I asked for a million bucks not ducks!"

Laugh For August 17
Bar Bet A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar. FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS OUR TEST! So the guy asks the bartender what the test is. The Bartender replies "Well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the whole thing at once and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a 'gator out back with a sore tooth...you have to remove it with your bare hands. Third, there's a woman up-stairs who's never had an orgasm. You gotta make things right for her." The guy says, "Well, as much as I would love free beer, I won't do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and then get crazier from there." Well, as time goes on and the man drinks a few, he asks, "Wherez zat teeqeelah?" He grabs the gallon of tequilla with both hands, and downs it with a big slurp and tears streaming down his face. Next, he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear the most frightening roarin

Laugh For August 18
Wedding Rehearsal During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the vicar with an unusual offer. "Look, I’ll give you £100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that part out." He passed the clergyman the cash and walked away satisfied. It is now the day of the wedding, and the bride and groom have moved to that part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it comes time for the groom’s vows, the vicar looks the young man in the eye and says: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes." The gr

Laugh For August 19
Gone Fishing There's a drunk guy who decides that he wants to go fishing. He packs up all his tackle and sets out in search of a suitable spot. Eventually, he stumbles across a huge area of ice and decides that he'll give it a go. Taking out a saw from his tackle box, he starts to saw a hole in the ice. Suddenly, a loud voice booms out at him, "There's no fish in here." The drunk looks all around him but can't see anyone. He decides to ignore the voice and carries on sawing. Again, the voice booms out, "I've told you once, there's no fish in here!" He looks up again but there's still no sign of anyone so he returns to his task. "Stop it!" shouts the now very angry sounding voice, "You'd better pack up your stuff and get out of here or there'll be trouble." "Who are you" shouts the drunk guy, "you don't scare me!" "Look," replies the voice, "I'm the manager of this Ice Rink!"

Laugh & Cry
A guy walks into a bar he's never been to before called the Crazy Horse Saloon. Walking in past the dime-store Indian, he sits down, and orders a drink. The bartender gives it to him and then goes to help other customers. As he's looking around at the novelty of the place, he notices a large basket at the end corner of the bar full of ten dollar bills. Every so often, he sees people walk up, toss in a ten, and go through this door at the back of the bar. He's quite puzzled by this, so he calls the bartender over for another drink, and asks him what the basket is for. "Oh that? That's the pot for our running bet. See, we've got a horse out back that's supposed to be crazy, but never shows it. So, the bet is: Anyone that can go out there and make him laugh wins the pile of money." "That's it? All I'd have to do is make him laugh? Well, count me in then!" The man sets his drink down, takes a ten out of his wallet, tosses it into the pot and walks through the door. The

Laugh For August 20
Drunk Test... A police officer pulls over this guy who's been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube." The man says, "Sorry, officer, I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that, I'll have a really bad asthma attack." "Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample." "I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death." "Well, then, we need a urine sample." "I'm sorry, officer, I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that, I'll get really low blood sugar." "All right, then I need you to come out here and walk this white line." "I can't do that, officer." "Why not?" "Because I'm drunk."

Laugh For August 20
Possible meaning for F.E.M.A. F**k! Evacuate! Move on. Apply blame F**k Every Minority in America F**k Every Man and Animal F**k Everything, Massive Anarchy Few Emergencies Merit Attention Flood Evacuation? Maybe After For Evacuees Missing in Action Fearing Every Mass Attack Federal Experts My Ass Federal Emergency Mismanagement Agency Fumbling Every Major Attack Failure to Evacuate and Manage Appropriately Federal Emergencies Managed Atrociously Funneling Everyone's Money Away Federal Excuse-Making Agency Falsely Exaggerated Management of Accidents Finally Emergency Men Arrive Finally Evaluating Messy Aftermath Failure to Effectively Manage Anything Flood Event Maims Administration Feeble Excuses Mounting All over Foreseeable Election Matter Already Forget Ever Managing Again Failure Eventually Means Asskissing Farewell Emergency Mike, Adios Former Equestrian Managers Association.

Laugh For August 21
Street Light Late at night, a drunk was on his knees beneath a street-light, evidently looking for something. A passer-by, being a good Samaritan, offered to help. "What is it you have lost?" he asked. "My watch," replied the drunk. "It fell off when I tripped over the pavement." The passer-by joined in the search but after a quarter of an hour, there was still no sign of the watch. "Where exactly did you trip?" asked the passer-by. "About half a block up the street," replied the drunk. "Then why are you looking for your watch here if you lost it half a block up the street?" The drunk said: "Because the light's a lot better here."

Laugh For August 22
The 10 Worst Gifts A Man Can Buy A Woman For The Holidays Never give a woman any kind of household appliance or something that is going to make "housework" easier. For instance, a blender, a toaster, a new vacuum, one of those mops they advertise on tv that does everything but suck the life out of you, anything in a informercial. The only appliance allowed is a vibrator with all of the various speeds, slow, medium, and who needs a man. Another wise choice is a new washing machine with a turbo spin cycle. (Makes laundry day go by pretty fast when you can at least sit on it during spin-dry and end up smiling the rest of the day.) Any bulk cleaning supplies, "honey, I got you that large box of Tide you have been wanting." "This Windex should last you a while." "I got a good deal on the industrial strength toilet bowl cleaner." All I can say is, be prepared to run. I have faith that if you would have at least stopped and thought about what would be a much more intimate gift, you

Laugh For August 23
Signs that you are too drunk would be... You lose arguments with inanimate objects. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. Job interfering with your drinking. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream. Career won't progress beyond Senator of Massachusetts. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat. Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not! Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem! You can focus better with one eye closed. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar. Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops. Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner! Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..." Your idea of cutting back is less salt. You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep

Laugh For August 24
Deaf Drunks A man was sitting in a bar and noticed a group of people using sign language. He also noticed that the bartender was using sign language to speak to them. When the bartender returned to him, the man asked how he had learned to use sign language. The bartender explained that these were regular customers and had taught him to speak in sign. The man thought that was great. A few minutes later the man noticed that the people in the group were waving their hands around very wildly. The bartender looked over and signed "Now cut that out! I warned you!" and threw the group out of the bar. The man asked why he had done that and the bartender said, "If I told them once I told them 100 times - NO SINGING IN THE BAR!"

A Laugh For Every One!
a little laugh never hurts! (Three Men) Three Men Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties. The first man had married a Woman from Texas and told her that she was going to do dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and dishes washed and put away. The second man had married a woman from Nebraska . He had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. Th e first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table. The third man had married a girl from Philly. He told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see an

Laugh For August 25
The Top 15 Signs Your Webmaster is in a Cult 15. Every link seems to take you to www.amway.com. 14. Repetition of same banner ads: Stoli, Mott's... Stoli, Mott's... 13. He brings twenty-three wives to the office Holiday Party. 12. Instead of counting up visitors, your site counts down days to the apocalypse. 11. Suddenly your travel agency's site is featuring inter-planetary excursions for comet watching and one-way tickets to Guyana. 10. His home page says "Best viewed from the Mothership." 9. Your website's "Hall of Fame" inductees required to do stint handing out flowers at airport. 8. Your website is honored as the David Koresh Fan Club's "Site of the Day." 7. She has 38 roommates, yet is oddly stress-free. 6. Insists that Sabbath actually begins when "X-files" ends. 5. Frequently mutters about the "Prophet Steve Jobs" returning to rescue the true believers. 4. Not only does he understand Unix, he *IS* one. 3. Big "N" on your browser replaced

Laugh For August 26
How To Identify Where A Driver Is From One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: CHICAGO One hand on wheel, one finger out window: NEW YORK One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: NEW JERSEY One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: BOSTON One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, gun in lap: LOS ANGELES Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in CALIFORNIA Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: ITALY One hand on wheel, one hand offering beer to police officer: NEW ORLEANS One hand on 12 oz. Double shot latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on steering wheel while stuck in traffic: SEATTLE One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between

Laugh For August 27
Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex By Larry Niven Things of the form (*text*) are footnotes in the original text. He's faster than a speeding bullet. He's more powerful than a locomotive. He's able to leap tall buildings at a single bound. Why can't he get a girl? At the ripe old age of thirty-one (*Superman first appeared in Action Comics, June 1938*), Kal-El (alias Superman, alias Clark Kent) is still unmarried. Almost certainly he is still a virgin. This is a serious matter. The species itself is in danger! An unwed Superman is a mobile Superman. Thus it has been alleged that those who chronicle the Man of Steel's adventures are responsible for his condition. But the cartoonists are not to blame. Nor is Superman handicapped by psychological problems. Granted that the poor oaf is not entirely sane. How could he be? He is an orphan, a refugee, and an alien. His homeland no longer exists in any form, save for gigatons upon gigatons of danger

Laughter - Chapter 1
Ok, I admit it... I'm a huge Will Ferrell fan. And since today was NOT a good day, I searched out a laugh on 'metube', and now I don't feel like taking candy from little children. Like you've never done it before... oh please. Just watch and laugh, then click the 'point-o-meter'. C'ya, ~David See? Told ya you'd feel better... now get back to work, and come back tomorrow.

Laugh For August 28
The Special Challenge A guy walks into a bar and notices a sign on the wall. It says "Ask about our special challenge". He asks the bartender what its all about. The bartender says points to two large pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling about three and a bit yards up and says "If you can jump up and touch those pieces of meat then you can drink in this bar free for a year. However if you don't manage to reach them then you have to buy everyone here two rounds each." The guy thinks about it and muses it over. He looks at the meat then at the barman then at the meat then looks at the barman and says "Nah, pal. The steaks are too high."

Laugh For August 29
The World's Shortest Books 25. My Plan To Find The Real Killers By O.J. Simpson 24. The Catholic Guide To Great Sex 23. To All The Men I've Loved Before By Ellen Degeneres 22. The Difference Between Reality And Dilbert 21. Human Rights Advances In China 20. Things I Would Not Do For Money By Dennis Rodman 19. The Wild Years By Al Gore 18. Amelia Earhart's Guide To The Pacific Ocean 17. America's Most Popular Lawyers 16. Career Opportunities For Liberal Arts Majors 15. Detroit - A Travel Guide 14. Different Ways To Spell Bob 13. Dr. Kevorkian's Collection Of Motivational Speeches 12. Easy Unix 11. Ethiopian Tips On World Dominance 10. Everything Men Know About Women 9. Everything Women Know About Men 8. French Hospitality 7. George Foreman's Big Book Of Baby Names 6. How To Sustain A Musical Career By Art Garfunkel 5. Mike Tyson's Guide To Dating Etiquette 4. Spotted Owl Recipes By PETA 3. Staple Your Way To Success

Laugh For August 30
Top Signs of Net Addiction You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed. You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Internet Explorer 6 or higher." You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom. You turn off your computer and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one. You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access. You laugh at people with dial up modems. You start using smiley's in your snail mail. Your hard drive crashes. You haven't logged in for two hours. You start to twitch. You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access number. You try to hum to communicate with a modem. And you succeed.

Laugh For September 1
Ways To Tell A Man His Fly Is Unzipped 20. The cucumber has left the salad. 19. I can see the gun of Navarone. 18. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out. 17. You've got Windows on your laptop. 16. Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave. 15. Your soldier ain't so unknown now. 14. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells. 13. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position. 12. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson... 11. Your pod bay door is open, Hal. 10. Elvis Junior has LEFT the building! 9. Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod. 8. Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir! 7. The Buick is not all the way in the garage. 6. Dr. Kimble has escaped! 5. You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary." 4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction... 3. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.

Laugh For September 2
Attention Bridge Buyers The most respected name in bridge sale is about to present an offer that no self respecting bridge collector can ignore. The Bradley Bridge Exchange is proud to introduce the Commemorative Bridge Series. Even if you have never collected bridges before this unique investment opportunity should interest you. The Bradley Bridge Exchange has been selling quality collectable bridges for fifty years. Now through this once in a lifetime Internet offer, you can purchase famous bridges. Think about it, everyone needs bridges: to go to work, walk across, jump from, get mugged under and to throw rocks from. Not all bridges go up in value, the Bradley Bridge Exchange guarantees that your own personalized bridge will retain its minimum value for at least one full year. The famous Golden Gate Bridge was originally offered through The Bradley Bridge Exchange for a mere 35 dollars. In the 57 times it has since been re-sold, its value has increased to an astoundin

Laugh For September 3
Funny Foreign English Phrases Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR. At a Budapest zoo: PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY. Doctor's office in Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES. Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner. Japan: COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF. In a Nairobi restaurant: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER. On the grounds of a Nairobi private school: NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION. In Aamchi Mumbai restaurant: OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO. The best! In a Tokyo bar: SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS. Hotel, Japan: YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETE

Laugh For September 4
The Top Internet Commandments Thou shalt not downloadeth porn on thine work computer, lest ye be cast out. Thou shalt *** EARN *** REDEMPTION *** FAST!!!! *** Thou shalt not make for yourself a graven image of that which is copyrighted. Thou shalt not pop up any unwanted windows before me, for I shall smite them immediately with a hasty click and read them not. Thou shalt use no browser other than Internet Explorer, for thy Gates is a jealous Gates. Thou shalt not forward chain letters. Instead, send these commandments to ten friends, and help save the life of a small child in Bogota! Thou shalt not act like a hot 18-year chick in a chat room when thou art a pudgy, pimply-faced Trekkie. Spam not, lest ye be spammed tenfold. Thou shalt not spill your kinky guts and then click "Reply to all." Thou shall not call thyself "Richard P. Smith" online when "Chesty LaRue" sounds so much better. Remember thou the Neimann-Marcus cookie recipe and kee

Laugh For September 6
Car Wreck A doctor and a lawyer got into a car accident, on a small country road. The lawyer had figured that nobody else would be on the road, and had raced through a stop sign. The doctor, on a cross street, had no time to react and couldn't have missed the lawyer if he had tried. Fortunately, neither driver was hurt. The lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up, helped him from his battered car and offered him a drink from a hip flask.The doctor accepted, took a deep drink, and handed the flask back to the lawyer. The lawyer held the flask for a minute or two, and gave it to the doctor again. The doctor took another swig. He again returned the flask to the lawyer, who closed it and put it away. "Aren't you going to have a drink yourself?" asked the doctor. "Not now," answered the lawyer. "I'll have something after the police leave."

Laugh For September 7
Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung? A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck! Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do? A: Shoot the lawyer twice. Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A good start! Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? A: His lips are moving. Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the dog. Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers? A: Professional courtesy. Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? A: Not enough sand. Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers? A: To practice. A command was given to a dog: "SPEAK!" The dog said in return: "Not without my lawyer present!" Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop? A: Becaus

Laugh For September 8
>Astrological Signs Like You have Never Seen them 1. Taurus (April 21-May 21) These people are earthy, natural, and have a direct approach to the opposite sex which can only be called tactless. The typical Taurus pickup line is "wanna fuck?" The typical Taurus comeback to that line is "no, thanks, I already have one asshole in my pants." But once a Taurus has his mind made up, there's no stopping him. He'll rent a $200-a-night hotel room, and a $500-a-night whore, and pretend he is having fun. At least half of Mastercard's business is done with Tauruses. A Taurus doesn't do anything unless there's something to show for it. Walk into even the most modest Taurus's home, and you'll see at least a whole wall of trophies. Never mind that they are for "Most Improved Bowler" or "Third Place, Rhubarb Pies" or "Fastest Sheep Catcher in Texas." It's the trophy that counts. Tauruses tend toward all kinds of excesses. Food, booze, sex. In all cases, the Taurus person

Laugh For September 9
Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness" Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog! Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that? Hand me that ... uh ... that uh..... thingie Oh no! I just lost my Rolex. Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before? There go the lights again... "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys.. and this guy's got two of'em. Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens! Could you stop that thing from beating, it's throwing my concentration off. What's this doing here? I hate it when they're missing stuff in here. That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?! Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us. Sterile, shcmedle. The floor's clean, right? What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change... OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a fr

Laugh For September 10
Wise thoughts on everything Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. Life is sexually transmitted. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection make him a sandwich. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks. Some people are like Slinkies... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs... Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing... A strict regimen of diet and exercise may not make you live longer, but it sure will feel that way. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you t

Laugh For September 15
Birthday Girl Joe was talking to his buddy at the bar, and he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday - she has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stumped." His buddy said, "I have an idea - why don't you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way she wants it - she'll probably be thrilled." So the that's what Joe did. The next day at the bar his buddy said, "Well? Did you take my suggestion?" "Yes, I did," said Joe. "Did she like it?" His buddy asked. "Oh yes! she jumped up , thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door, yelling "I'll be back in an hour!!"

Laugh For September 23
Parking the Rolls Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer, taken aback, requested collateral. "Well, then, here are the keys to my Rolls Royce," the man said. The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping, and gave him $5,000. Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank's doors, and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. "That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest," the loan officer said. The man wrote out a check and started to walk away. "Wait sir," the loan officer said, "while you were gone I learned that you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow $5,000?" The man smiled. "Where else could I park my Rolls Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?"

Laugh For September 25
Lost It A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches "Can I help you sir?" "Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr" the man replies. The cop asks "Where was your car the last time you saw it?" "It wasss on the end of thisshh key" the man replies. About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's weiner is hanging out of his fly for all the world to see. He asks the man "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?" Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and, without missing a beat, blurts out.......... "I'll be damned ----- My girlfriend's gone, too!!!!!"

Laugh For September 26
Bar Room Translations "You get this round and the next round is on me." (I'll be leaving before the next round.) "I'll get this round and the next one is on you." (Happy hour is about to end. Beers are now a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $3.50.) "Hey, where is that friend of yours?" (I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising position.) "Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (female) (I'm easy.) "Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (male) (I'm gay.) "Ever try a body shot?" (male to female) (I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you.) "Ever try a body shot?" (female to male) (If this is how wild I am in the bar, imagine what I'll do to you on the ride home?) "I don't feel well, let's go home." (female) (You are paying more attention to your friends than me.) I don't feel well, let's go home." (male) (I'm horny.) "Who's got the next round

Laughter Of The Soul >. Poem By Diana
As I surf page to page , meet new friends, almost everyday , I say prayers to Our Lord, For Jesus Christ be the gracious one. He sends to me; some that are aching and or lost , but thru his love; I try to say what beathiful things he want me too . I do always try to say the truth. but Im human also too. He places with in me ; such a beatiful world ,that I see , I wont be caught up in Satans lies and God gives me my strengt to survive. I go page to page smiling and such , trying to show of My lords love . I laugh and I do cry , for there are some that I know, wont be here long in fubar. They are being called home or they leave due to their own will. But me; I still laugh and still cry; I know God knows the reasons why . It,s not for one to question God , but accept His will and it will be done. God holds us all dear in His heart and soul . And we must learn to forgive, so we can do as he has done, for us . I laugh and I cry and, I

Laugh Out Loud
A woman in her 50's is at home happily jumping unclothed, on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while then asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?" The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, "I don't care what you think, I just came from having a mammogram, and the doctor says not only am I healthy, but I have breasts of an 18 year-old." The husband replies, "What did he say about your 53-year old ass?" She replied, "Your name never came up."

Laugh? I Almost Started....
I was speaking to a friend on here and the topic of music cropped up, then it hit me... You ever get the sudden urge to hear a certain song? Like for example, i was listening to (I think) a track by Limp Bizkit on a friends radio stream, when I got the sudden urge to hear Me And My Shadow byt Sammy and Frank. A strange link im sure you'll agree, but stick with me on this one... Everyone has a song they favour more than others...whether it be when their stressed or just in from work, or need a song to pep them up a bit. You have to hear a certain song or artist to fit into your life at that precise time. The other day I was having a big blazing row with my wife and i got the urge to hear "Kelly Watched The Stars" by Air. If you know the song you'll probably think WTF? Dont ask me, i dont know why that song at that time, but I just had to listen to it. As it happens, the song was on my wifes PC so that idea went out the window as if I even looked at the PC at that time,

Laugh For November 15
Really bad pick up lines I'm not trying to pressure you. I don't want to have sex without mutual consent; oh and by the way, you have my consent. I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start. I'm ugly, you're beautiful, lets make average children. Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off? Is you father a lumberjack [No, why?] Because when ever I look at you, I get wood in my pants. Baby your butts like a beer keg, I'd like to tap that ass Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her. Can i see something (look at tag on back of collar) Just as I thought "made in heaven." Do you have any Irish in you? (if no…) Would you like some? (if yes…) Want some more? Do you have rubbers at your house or should I pull out? Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time to write down my number? Do you know the difference between a h

Laugh For November 16
Some Gender Jokes... Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman: before marriage & after.

Laugh For November 21
The blonde Thanksgiving dinner It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went. "Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!" said the daughter. "Did it not taste good?" her mother asked. "I don't know," the blonde said. "It wouldn't sit still!"

Laughter Is The Best Medicine...
LIFE AFTER DEATH: "DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER DEATH?" THE BOSS ASKED ONE OF HIS EMPLOYEES. "YES, SIR," THE NEW EMPLOYEE REPLIED. "WELL THEN, THAT MAKES EVERYTHING JUST FINE," THE BOSS WENT ON. "AFTER YOU LEFT EARLY YESTERDAY TO GO TO YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S FUNERAL, SHE STOPPED IN TO SEE YOU! **** PALM SUNDAY: It WAS PALM SUNDAY AND, BECAUSE OF A SORE THROAT, FIVE-YEAR-OLD JOHNNY STAYED HOME FROM CHURCH WITH A SITTER. WHEN THE FAMILY RETURNED HOME, THEY WERE CARRYING SEVERAL PALM BRANCHES. THE BOY ASK WHAT THEY WERE FOR. "PEOPLE HELD THEM OVER JESUS' HEAD AS HE WALKED BY." "WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT," THE BOY FUMED, "THE ONE SUNDAY I DON'T GO, HE SHOWS UP!" **** CHILDREN'S SERMON : ONE EASTER SUNDAY MORNING AS THE MINISTER WAS PREACHING THE CHILDREN'S SERMON, HE REACHED INTO HIS BAG OF PROPS AND PULLED OUT AN EGG. HE POINTED AT THE EGG AND ASKED THE CHILDREN, "WHAT'S IN THE EGG?" "I KNOW!" A LITTLE BOY EX CLAIMED. "PANTYHOSE!! " **** SUPPORT A FAMILY

Laughable
I've been following a challenge against the Wisconsin state government by the FFRF over what to call the state Christmas tree. The FFRF wants to call it a holiday tree, as it has been called for a long time. The state legislature wants to call it a "christmas" tree to commemorate christian values. I find it utterly pointless and ironic, because obviously since these people spend a lot of time invoking the bible, you'd think they read it. In the bible is a reference to decorated trees being used by gentiles to celebrate the season. The book definitely comes across as being against these trees. Personally, I'm thinking about celebrating the holiday in July and calling it the "anti-christmas". I think that would be funny, aside from the part where I compare it to my feelings about satanists, that they are really just christians in disguise because all the ever do is reverse things to show how "rebellious" they are.

Laughing My Azz Off
damn~! some people are so damn stupid. They won't talk to me rather they want to use the status box to shout obsenities at me.....come on really....who is the dumbazz here? I am married to my hubby...not having an affair with a married man who SAYS he is going to leave his wife and daughter.....a man who sleeps with many women whom he meets online....hello?? dumbazz?? I find all this so funny and entertaining~! What a great birthday gift~! Thanks Kerri & Jay~~ You make me laugh~! ~~smooches~~

Laughter
In dreams, we may feel emotions and responses to them much as we do in waking life. This is especially true about very funny and very sad events. Dream laughter may often come from a deeper level than waking laughter in that our emotional expressions are often more outward and unrestrained in a dream. The interesting part is that dream laughter may also be very inappropriate. Since we often dream of ourselves as archetypal caricatures, we may laugh with a diabolical twist; whereas in waking, anger would be the more expected response. This sort of unchecked laughter can usually be an expression of the id. If you experienced laughter in a dream, did others laugh with you? Did you laugh at something inappropriate?Did you feel ashamed or somehow empowered by laughing at such?

Laughs For Today
Deep Thoughts For Those Who Take Life Way Too Seriously add some please 1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set. 2. A day without sunshine is like.....night. 3. On the other hand, you have different fingers 4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 6. Remember, half the people you know are below average. 7. He who laughs last thinks slowest. 8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap. 10. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have. 11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. 13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. 14. How many of you believe in psychokinesis? Raise my hand. 15. OK, . . . . so what's the speed of dark? 16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. 17. Hard work

A Laugh At My Expense
Several months ago, I had decided that I was tired of being a redhead, so I colored my hair dark brown. It didn't work....the red seeped back out within days and I was a redhead again. I decided to go a shade darker with the hope that the red would not seep through again..... (This was my FIRST mistake!) The box said...."Darkest BROWN!" (Yeah, right!) It was now super bowl Sunday....everyone was meeting at Bubba's for the game. I had purchased the hair dye several days prior, but never got around to coloring my hair, because I have not been feeling very well. I decided that I would real quickly color my hair that morning, before getting ready to go to Bubba's. (This was my SECOND mistake!) Now since I was coloring my hair dark brown, I decided that it was only right to color the eye brows to match.... (This was my THIRD and WORST mistake!) Up until this point....my worst hair trauma was when I had colored my hair one time and it turned out to look more like cherry

Laugh Already
9 WORDS WOMEN USE (1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. (2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. (3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. (4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! (5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.) (6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That is okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when

Laugh
After you take a step back and take a look at the reality of FUBAR you have to laugh at it, and realize what entertainment it is. Are people really as insecure as they come across on here. This stuff is freakin hellarious, you talk shit then do the exact opposite. I have to wonder what the percentage of people on FUBAR who are taking some kind of Psycological drugs, my guess it very high, what a fantasy world everyone is a 10 or 11, and everyone is popular, FUBAR fucking rocks!!!!

Laugh Will Ya
The other day I went to Starbucks for coffee and I was only in there for about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I went up to him and said, "Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break"? He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I upped the ante and called him a "Nazi." He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a "doughnut-eating Gestapo jerk." He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Personally, I didn't care. I rode to Starbucks on my bicycle. The car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said "Hillary in '08." I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. My doctors tell me it is important to laugh.

The Laughing Man’s Truth
The laughing man’s truth The dark thoughts of the laughing man are a dangerous and destructive truth,these thoughts are hidden by a fake smile and make belief laughter. He can not let anyone in because if they are allowed to see the truth they will know his secrets,and his secrets are his pain . So he puts on a show and this show is a believable one, he has trained himself to hide the pain so well that no one can ever tell that his smile is only a blanket to hide the sorrow and sadness that dwells in his soul. The laughing man will laugh and smile until the day his death comes calling,and maybe that day his sorrow and pain will fade away just like the false smile that lives upon his face.

Laughter
Laughter It's like I cant stand the world today You bring such laughter into my life You make me smile at night I wouldn't have it any other way This isn't to say I love you But more a way to show gratitude You are like a cold summer breeze To be around you, comforts me I'm at ease If you need me, you can find me This is the only way I can show it You make me laugh when everything's blurry Not quite sure, but i'm sure you know it I'll be there, even if you can't see me Hiding in the shadows Waiting till you can laugh with me A special request for Sazzy!!! Yw Babe!

'laugh-in' Comic Dick Martin Dead At 86
LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- Dick Martin, the zany half of the comedy team whose "Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In" took television by storm in the 1960s, making stars of Goldie Hawn and Lily Tomlin and creating such national catch-phrases as "Sock it to me!" has died. He was 86. Martin, who went on to become one of television's busiest directors after splitting with Dan Rowan in the late 1970s, died Saturday night of respiratory complications at a hospital in Santa Monica, family spokesman Barry Greenberg said. "He had had some pretty severe respiratory problems for many years, and he had pretty much stopped breathing a week ago," Greenberg said. Martin had lost the use of one of his lungs as a teenager, and needed supplemental oxygen for most of the day in his later years. He was surrounded by family and friends when he died just after 6 p.m., Greenberg said. "Laugh-in," which debuted in January 1968, was unlike any comedy-variety show before it. Rather than relying on a

Laughter Excersizes
Laughter Exercises for Tough Times By Lynn Shaw, Laughter Therapist Dare we laugh during tough times? Given soaring gas prices, news of home foreclosures, a recession, endless war... It can literally make you cry. But consider that laughing and crying are on the same continuum, both designed to offer release and relief. During tough times we may think that laughter is inappropriate or an indication that we're not as serious as we "should" be. My belief is that it is in tough times that laughter is especially helpful to move us from intense introspection to connection with others, perhaps through service and outreach. Laughter is about connection, and I can't think of a better time to connect outside of self than during difficult times. So go ahead and laugh - and weep - simply because you can. And, if you need a jumpstart, here are some ideas to help get you laughing: 1. Laugh with a friend - Call the one person you know will absolutely laugh - no preliminary conversations

Laughing Til The Cows Come Home
Its been on odd few months. Dealing with medical problems and emotional problems. But this past week has been forgiving people and realizing that I can laugh at myself. I look at things that I did and realize that some of the stuff was really funny at the time. But of course when it happened it didn't seem funny. I take alot of meds to due medical problems and one of them is for depression. Well I found out right after getting on those meds that my liver is not functioning. And all the meds I'm on have side effects that can cause liver damage. You got to admit it is ironic. I get on meds so I won't kill myself yet my liver is gonna kill me nice and slow. I have no insurance, no job which means no money. I can't work because of all the other medical problems. So I am barely making it. But if I was working right now I wouldn't be able to go to the DISTURBED concert tonight that I won tickets for. Or I wouldn't have been able to go to quite a few shows that were free lately. So

Laughin My Ass Off
I feel so privilaged that some idiot still feel the need to have to write comments to me even after he has blocked me ..I continually get these funny things left with bad spelling and all .I mean really spending that much time to worry about what I am doing ..boy oh boy do I feel important .lol just look at these comments KinkyMaste...: hello piggyfatcowcunt ... did you fucked any guys lately or is toy master you love to fucked and get pregnant KinkyMaste...: what do i smell oh yes fatcowcunt ........moew so well thought out and what he expects me to do block him well why would I ..I love to laugh and what is the best is he trys to be all smart ass but i read them and move on ..probably giving him a bit of entertainment by posting a blog but i guess since he blocked me its what he wants because I really dont know the point of it .outside of he has no balls to say it to me and let me reply ..what eles could it be .. I guess he must really care what goes on in my world to alw

Laughter Train
If you can make me laugh you can make me do anything! To get on this train r/f/a all members. Let them know that you are joining the laughter train in your friend request. If they are already a friend leave them a comment like "i love to laugh" or "make me laugh" and don't forget to re-rate them. And again my number one rule... NO DRAMA...NO DRAMA...NO DRAMA did i say NO DRAMA When new members add you rate them as well as leave them a comment. Don't just pass them by because you're already friends...let them know you're joining the laughter train. Rate this laughter folder and you'll get a laughter tag specially made by vitamin de~. Start with this picture Leave a comment on the last picture to let Vitamin de~ know that you finished. Don't forget to message Vitamin de~ when you've finished the train to be added....and rate the picture folder for your special laughter tag.

A Laugh For Today!
1. After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's licence to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too' And then the fight started..... 2. My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfrien

Laught And Dont Get Mad,smile! Joke'
'Honey' Said this husband to his wife,I invited a friend home for super'What. are you crazy?The house is a mess. I didnt go shopping.All the dishes are dirty,And i dont feel like cooking fancy meal.(((;Iknow all that;)))Then why did you invited a friend for super?;; Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married;;

(laugh 4 The Day) You Just Can't Fix Stupid!!
LMAO a friend just forwarded this to me. Gave me a laugh so I wanted to share is with you to help make your day better. You Just Can't Fix Stupid!! ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. 'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter. 'You don't?' I replied. 'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply. 'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?' 'That's right.' So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets . TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not fin

Laughingly Ture
thru the dark search for dreams reaching for those bright beams of light that peirce the night that false hope of sweet thoguhts while high on dope as really we die and choked on the reality of what we can't see thru the darkness we think it will end or does it just begin evil is in all that we find no matter if it 's dark or light as our screams fill the night

Laughable
What was once troubling has become laughable now. It amazes me, after talking to others that people who perform the “no talk” or “Cold shoulder” do that for several reasons. None of which I find to be genuine. They were certainly not genuine when I did them, and there are not now that others do them. Anyone that knows me knows that personal responsibility is a huge thing with me. It came about with my divorce; accepting responsibility for my actions is one of the few reasons that I made it through that in one piece. It, either fortunately or unfortunately, has left me with the focus of people accepting responsibility for their actions OR inactions. This is further complicated by a society that is content with zero accountability. Everything is always someone else’s fault, or there’s always an excuse. I have met VERY few people in my time where personal responsibility and personal accountability is paramount. I consider them to be my best friends. I guess this will always go back

Laugh
You can't read this and stay in a bad mood! 1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit? Unique Up On It. 2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit? Tame Way. 3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ? They Take The Psycho Path 4. How Do You Get Holy Water? You Boil The Hell Out Of It (I love that one!) 5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall? Dam! 6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long? Polaroid's LOL! 7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work? A Stick 8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours? Nacho Cheese. 9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers? Subordinate Clauses. 10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand? Quattro Sinko. 11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow? Spoiled Milk. 12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire? Frostbite. 13. What Lie s At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches? A Nervous Wreck. 14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Anyone Can Ro

Laughing Through Tears
I smile every single day I'm happy in each photograph He thinks that I'm okay He doesn't see through my fake laugh He doesn't see me when I cry For it is something that I hide he doesn't the see tears in my eye When I'm breaking down inside You'd think that after all this time It's something He would see That He'd look in these eyes of mine And see the pain in me Instead I'm laughing everday Like there's no pain at all For if I laugh then he won't see The hidden tears that fall

Laugh With Me
Laugh with me For a little while Grin at me I love your smile. Hold my hand In your firm, warm grasp Meet my eyes Fall to the grass. Laughing like before Rolling around like old times Just hanging out, having fun Please can I call you mine? Hold me tight like when we last met Don't ever let me fall or go I'm in your grasp, I'm in your life I love you so damn much, don't you know? Help me to find the comfort Hidden within your arms Let me feel vulnerable But don't let me go. Rejoice for the terror has gone The resentment and anger has passed But still don't let me go Hold me tight within your arms So I can finally feel safe. Kiss me, hold me Never let me go Please just hold me tight I cant let you go. Laugh with me Fall with me Walk with me Rejoice with me. Smile with me Hang out with me Hold my hand And love me true as I have you.

Laughter
Laughter In dreams, we may feel emotions and responses to them much as we do in waking life. This is especially true about very funny and very sad events. Dream laughter may often come from a deeper level than waking laughter in that our emotional expressions are often more outward and unrestrained in a dream. The interesting part is that dream laughter may also be very inappropriate. Since we often dream of ourselves as archetypal caricatures, we may laugh with a diabolical twist; whereas in waking, anger would be the more expected response. This sort of unchecked laughter can usually be an expression of the id. If you experienced laughter in a dream, did others laugh with you? Did you laugh at something inappropriate?Did you feel ashamed or somehow empowered by laughing at such

Laughter The Best Medicine
(I LOVE THIS ONE) Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight. When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills. The son said, 'I don't think you should take one Dad; they're very strong and very expensive.' 'How much?' asked Grandpa. '$10.00 a pill,' Answered the son. 'I don't care,' said Grandpa, 'I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow.' Later the next morning, the son found $110.00 under the pillow. He called Grandpa and said, 'I told you each pill was $10.00, not $110.00. 'I know,' said Grandpa. 'The hundred is from Grandma!'

Laughter & Joy
The past few days my teenage daughter(who just turned 13), just broke up with a boy. Now, I told her a little bit of what to expect..u know, hurt, anger, hurt, a little drama(considering the age, now), and..well u get my drift. I also told her how to handle this sort of thing, which comes from experience. Lord knows, I've gone thru that cycle, & embarrassed myself a bit with the drama thing..but that's a whole other blog. The last 2 days, she's actually listened to me as she sees this all unfold. Now given her age, she doesn't come out & say, "Oh Mom, u were so right, Thank You"...Wait I have to stop laughing at that thought..... Ok, she comes out & "pounds it"...if that's the right term..lmao. Her own little way of saying thank you to me(& don't burst my bubble on this one, let me have my moment)..At least she still comes to me. I didn't just tell her what you're supposed to tell a child from a parent about this sort of thing, I told her the truth. Better to break up with someone t

Laughing Boy
The people call him laughing boy with a painted smile on his face Simply because he has this title he gets invitations to every place. He doesn’t seem to mind at all when they call him character or clown. He always has a smile to share when someone’s feeling down But truly he doesn’t like to be alone try reading between the lines he plays the part of Laughing boy but when he’s alone he cries…

Laughter
It can make you happy and warm insideIt puts a smile on your face and fills you full of joyIt can also tare you down and fill you full of angerIt can turn love into hate in a dangerous wayIt makes you want to hate them all and treat them exactly that wayThey tell you that laughter is a good thing to do every day… but they never tell you how it feels to be laughed at It was fun at first then it is you that are surrounded by them all Laughing ,PointingWith every one staring your way you can try to hideJust about any whereBut you will never go far enoughBecause that feeling stays

Laughter
Lately, I've not been me, I've been someone everyone wants me to be. Today I picked up my Oracle cards (like Tarot) cards I've never used these to do a reading for myself but having seen the status messages of others I picked them up. I did a three card spread and the outcome of the reading was something I found not only relevant to me but to many of my friends as well. Th card I pulled was Launghter "Laughter" Find humor in life and laugh easily. Every cloud has a silver lining and a humorous side. Laughter allows us to see life from a different perspective. Three years ago my life was a living hell! I never laughed and rarely smiled, I had no reason. Bad relationships, poor health and a myriad of other things that caused my life to be less than a happy one. One day I met Bob. He brought the laughter back into my life. He loves to have fun and showed me that despite my poor health and the other things that bring me down. Everyday when I pray I than

Laugh It Up
Life's a joke and we're all laughing. Hope you're laughing with me instead of laughing at me. If not, it's ok. I'm use to the wrong side of everything. Days only bringing rain, death dominating my brain. All from the pain of living, life is the gift given to all those but only a few make the best of it. Most shit is irrelevant. Yet we waste time on the worthless and its evident. We have weak souls, our weak show and we cant better it. Maybe a doctor i better get. Prescribe me with the answers to fix this sickness. Choked up, i'm coughing. Fear rules, so life becomes haunting. Having trouble seeing the joke? Is it truth that i'm offering. We're so blind. Screaming for the best but always settling for the worse, its no wonder we've gone hoarse. Always whispering ideas of change but we wont stand and do work. It's only getting worse but i'm prepared myself so i'm doing dirt. Like you digging my grave, all roads unpaved so I wont walk down them. Crawling towards my history

Laughter's Rising
Laughter's Rising by Poet Robert J. Neal on Wednesday, March 14, 2012 at 2:12pm · The laughter is rising from deep within As others advise me...to wait again To allow Love...to pass me by Why not ask me to die To shrivel up...and pass away To slowly drift...into decay Haven't I waited...for all these years Amidst the pain...and falling tears Which quit falling...not long ago Dried up rivers...that ceased to flow One or two may fall...when I'm alone As i feel myself...turning to stone But only when sadness...is crushing me Which is something...that I hate to see But...it doesn't show on my face As the transformation's taking place Locking me inside...deep within... Where the laughter began...and returned again To echo loudly...where I cannot flee... Awakening the demons...which are tormenting me!!! Written By... Robert Neal

Laugh
Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity, but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat and worry with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come. never take yourself too seriously. When the sun goes down the stars come out. Whenever it feels like there is 100 reasons to cry, remember the 1000 of reasons that make you happy to be alive. Cheers William

Laughter When You Fall...
i am burning from the insidea piece of soul has diedi'm not a believer in much these daysand my vision slowly fadeshow else could i keepa wound that cuts so deepwhat else should i findinside a pessimistic mind?people lie to hurtthey rub your face in dirtthey find pleasure in your painand the never ending rainyet they turn to you for comfortwhen their rope is getting shortthey come to you with outstretched handsand beg your sympathy, uncannedthen they tell you that your life is wastedand there are things you should not have tastedand they have the nerve to tell you "hey i'm sorry friendbut yours ain't mine to mend"

Laundry Day
I had this posted earlier, but realized it was in the wrong blog, so I had to delete and move it. Sorry if you have already read and commented on it. I did post another one right before this one though. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You walk up behind me as I finish loading the washer. You place a kiss on the side of my neck and slide your arms around my waist. A shiver runs through me as you place kisses down along my neck to my shoulders. I can feel myself getting wet. You slide your arms up and cup my breasts in your hands. I raise my hands up over my head and reach back and cup the back of your head. I lean back into you, molding my form to yours as you squeeze my breasts in your hands and run my hard nipples between your fingers. I can feel myself getting wetter as you ignite the flames higher with your hot breath on my neck. I can feel the hardness of your cock against my ass through our clothes. I am totally captivated and amazed at how quickly and easily you c

Laundry
Okay so my mom walked in and she said... "Thats IT! I'm inventing disposable clothes so i don't have to do laundry!" HAHA my family is so great! lol! I think my brothers ones are better.. if you don't know what im talking about read my other blogs lol ~Christine~

Laundromat #1
The quiet hum of a deserted laundromat is lulling me to sleep. Sometimes this place is teeming with the scent of white trash and welfare mothers. I gave one of those moms my last dollar in quarters the other night. I immediately felt for the little girl, with her tiny pigtails bouncing, her soiled socks matted against her feet where shoes should have been. The father, I assume, dropped them at the door, said to call when the laundry was finished. How time distorts love. But today, it's quiet... nothing exciting to speak of, while I make attempts to balance my checkbook but sneak outside for another smoke instead, wanting to be swept away from such a lonely spot.

Laundromat #2
I feel judging eyes on me at the stoplight. I'm sitting directly across, indian style, on a bench that might have been new and inviting once, but now it's stripped down to shit-- the wood cracked and the bolts loose. An older couple watches my nicotine intake from their mid-size SUV, their gazes searing on me, as if they felt sorry. But I'm content in this moment, the breeze flows through me like peace flows through my heart. I can't help but wonder where you are, as I'm aching for you to watch clothes tumble in the dryer, holding out another handful of quarters with a smile, as if this mundane moment was all you wanted to share with me.

Laundromat #3
Outside, the world is turning-- love dies, business partners merge, people drive with no particular destination in mind. Staring at the blank lines in my check register, I know I've spent too much time thinking of you. Money can wait, darling. Let everything around us disappear. I'll no longer with to be anywhere else but in the gaze of your eyes, the calming hold of your arms. The change machines are clinking, the machines stay steady, humming... it's all circumstantial when you consider what we might have one day. I love you, but only on my own...

Laung And Smile With Me
The Kitchen Bitch > > A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5 -year- old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now... cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses on the train...cause we're going down the tracks."the horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house." "Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train...but I want you to use nice language. Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say... "All passengers, please remember your things, thank you and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She heard her little

Laundry Joke
A woman was unhappy with the way her laundry was done at the local Chinese Laundry, so she wrote a note and put it in the bag with the next collection of soiled clothes: "USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!" She got the clean laundry back, and was still dissatisfied with the results, so the following week she enclosed another note: "USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!" The Chinese laundryman became very annoyed, and when her clean laundry was delivered, it contained a note from him: "I USE PLENTY SOAP ON PANTIES! USE MORE PAPER ON ASS!!!"

Launch Preparations Going Smoothly For Sts-122 Atlantis.
Launch Preparations Going Smoothly Image Above: Atlantis delivers the Columbus Module to the ISS. The Columbus Module is the largest contribution to the ISS by the European Space Agency (ESA). From astronauts practicing shuttle landings to engineers and technicians running tests on space shuttle Atlantis, NASA's Kennedy Space Center is excitedly preparing for its fourth shuttle launch in 2007. The shuttle is scheduled to lift off at 4:31 p.m. EST on Thursday to begin mission STS-122. "Our preparations at the pad are going extremely well," said NASA Test Director Steve Payne. Technicians will conduct tests on the pyrotechnics installed aboard space shuttle Atlantis today. Later, liquid oxygen and liquid hydrogen will be pumped into spherical tanks inside Atlantis. They will power the shuttle's fuel cells during flight. There are numerous systems onboard the orbiter that are also being confirmed today and tomorrow for use during the mission. All the tests are goin

The Laundromat
It was an average night we always liked going to the laundromat at night it was usually dead at that time and we had free run of the place. So picking the machines you took the dark, I took the whites. Loading the cloths I noticed you have your play cloths in them garters thongs stockings. I started remembering the night before The fun we had Making Love over and over the playful bites and kisses. You glanced over at me and saw the grin I was wearing and you saw your things in my hands. You smiled saying be a good Boy. I laughed and we went back to doing the cloths. After loading the Machines we sat around talking and I leaned In to kiss you you looked so beautiful sitting there . I kissed you softly and you reached your hand around my neck pulling me closer to you. Biting my lip gently yet a light pain shot through me. You asked me what I had been grinning at I told you I was remembering our love making and it made me smile. You smiled and said to me Well we have never h

The Laundromat Fairies Do Exist!!!!
I know that for a fact. I went to my apt complex laundromat this afternoon for a wash. It had been longer than normal since I could do the last wash of whites, so I had bought a dollar & 25cents to purchase a longer wash,instead of the usual dollar. So I got in there as always,broght my basket with all the stuff, and put the clothes into the machine with the soap.But when the time to insert the money came,well to my surprise the machine display just prompted me to choose what type of SUPER-WASH CYCLE I wanted. It was pretty funny,since usually you're only lucky so much,I'd have thought the most I could have found would be a normal wash,IF that! a saved dollar is a gained dollar,Uncle Scrooge would say,but on the way back I found another gift! the drier only wanted 75 cents instead of a whole dollar,which is the normal fare. Oh well,THANK YOU LAUNDROMAT FAIRIES!

Launching A Product
Launching a Product Product Launch Formula 2 is HERE! Launching a product can be an arduous and difficult task, especially in competitive markets. Thankfully, there is a step-by-step product launch formula that you can follow to ensure success and beat out your competition. A good plan such as PLF2 can mean the difference between a hugely successful campaign, or a complete failure. Follow these simple steps to instantly increase your chances of a successful launch. 1) Buzz Marketing. Well before your product even goes live, you need to create some "buzz" for it. Create anticipation and scarcity with your marketing efforts to get people talking about your product and the launch in their favourite online forums. The more exposure you can generate, the more chance you have of being successful. This is just like the big film studios who throw out "teasers" months before a movie is even released. You want the public to be aware that your product launch is imminent and get th

Launching A Product
Launching a Product Click Here To Read A Product Launch Formula 2 Review As a Product Launch Formula 2 Affiliate you get to show others wonderful and real case studies of people who used the system to make some real good money. The first one is with Neil Stafford, who’s niche is teaching parents how to teach their kids to play soccer better at JuniorSoccerCoach.com. Their launch did almost $10,000.00 selling a low-priced instructional DVD. Chuck Smith did a product launch for a low-priced product in the “quilting” niche - it did approximately $3000.00, and then he followed that up almost immediately with another $4,000.00 launch. Kyle Battis did a launch of a $10 per month membership site in the “personal fitness” niche. The launch generated a continuity income of $15,000.00 per MONTH. product launch formula, product launch formula 2, product launch formula 2 review, product launch formula 2 download, product launch formula 2 affiliate, product launch formula 2 launc

Launch Of Rudetv
We have been waiting for Rude TV for about a year now!! I am soooo excited that it is almost live! I am so happy to announce will be in LA for the launch! YAY! I even get to meet the beautiful Sunny Lane again! I saw her about 8 months ago when she was a feature dancer one night at Deja Vu in Pennsylvania. Yes she is cute, bubbly, blonde and just my type!! I am really excited!! I hope you will show you support and be there for the launch! I will update ya’ll as soon as I know more about it! So far all I know is it will be in LA and that it will be around the 25th of April. (We are taking the week off!! LOL) We will be there early hopefully doing some behind the scenes filming and maybe some behind the scenes fun. Only here will you get the full scoop on Rude TV so check back often. Who is gonna be on Rude TV? * Wankus * Tony Batman * Sunny Lane * Kylee King * Powder * Alanna Thomas * Docporno Would you like to come to the grand opening laun

The Laundrymat
before I start I am not a superficial person really I am not. but some things..... I was at the laundrymat last night trying to get my laundry done and was texting a friend the attendant I have met before and is a little crazy but not the scary crazy kind. she greeted me and I said hello and that was that. then a guy came in and the attendant and him started to talk. this guy was at least a half foot shorter than me and like a quarter my size small guy. well he tried to engage me in conversation. I politely answered his questions in the shortest way possible while I continued to text this friend I like. this guy them starts talking to the attendant then who decided to sit next to me. so I was sandwiched between the two and now they are BOTH trying to engage me in conversation...I continue my back and forth texting and give them as short of answers as possible. when they start talking about all their health problems...I was not really paying attention. when this guy says "well the only

Launch Scrubbed For Wednesday
Wed, 11 Mar 2009 11:48:47 AM PDT The STS-119 launch was scrubbed at 2:37 p.m. EDT due to a hydrogen leak in a Liquid Hydrogen vent line between the shuttle and the external tank. The launch team is currently beginning the process of draining the external fuel tank. We'll turn around for launch attempt tomorrow at 8:54 p.m. EDT.

Launch Scrubbed After Slight Gh2 Leak
Wed, 11 Mar 2009 12:34:19 PM PDT NASA officials scrubbed Wednesday’s attempt at 2:37 EDT to launch space shuttle Discovery after a slight leak was detected in a gaseous hydrogen (GH2) vent line. The vent line is at the intertank region of the external tank and is the overboard vent to the pad and the flare stack where the vented hydrogen is burned off. The launch team is resetting to preserve the option of attempting a Thursday night liftoff at 8:54 p.m. EDT depending on what repairs are needed and what managers decide. The Mission Management Team is meeting at 5 p.m. today to discuss the issue.

Launch Team Prepares Plan To Evaluate Leak
Wed, 11 Mar 2009 05:08:16 PM PDT Shuttle Launch Director Mike Leinbach said Wednesday that workers will take their first up-close look Thursday afternoon at the gaseous hydrogen vent line that began leaking during the countdown to Wednesday night’s launch attempt. The leak prompted a postponement of the STS-119 launch to the International Space Station. The inspection could set a course for repair options that would allow another launch attempt as soon as Sunday. Leinbach said the leak developed on the piping that runs from the fixed service structure, or launch tower, to a valve at the intertank section of the shuttle’s external tank. The pipe moves hydrogen gas away from the shuttle and to a flare stack near the launch pad that burns it away safely. He said there was never any danger to the shuttle while it was being fueled, but that the leak allowed too much gaseous hydrogen to escape the vent line.

Laundry Night
Once - back when I was in the dorm at college I went to the laundry room late at night - it was the only time you didn't have to wait for a machine - when I got down there I was all alone - so - I figured I could throw in the undies I was wearing - so I took off my pants, and put them on a washing machine behind me then pulled down my undies and threw them in the machine - as I turned around to grab my pants to put them back on - one of the girls from the 2nd fl was standing there behind me with a big smile on her face holding my pants - she just laughed and ran out of the laundry room and down the hall - I had to go after her - she ran upstairs and down the hall banging on every door she passed into her room and closed the door - so – now all of the girls are opening their doors to see who was banging. They all stood there looking smiling and pointing at me standing there in the hallway in just a t-shirt that didn’t cover anything down there. I knocked on the door and her room mate an

Laundry Detergent
ANYWAYS I JUST GOT ANOTHER JUG OF DETERGENT, AND IT'S TITLE OF FRAGRANCE IS "APRIL FRESH" IT SMELL'S WONDERFUL!!. YA KNOW REALLY I WOULD LIKE TO MEET THE FUCKER WHO CAME UP WITH THE NAME AND PUNCH HIM IN THE JUNK, ITS A FUCKING LIE, U DON'T EVER SMELL WONDERFUL FLOWERS AND SUCH IN APRIL, I ALL GET IS THE SMELL OF UNTHAWING(SPELLING?....LOL) DOG SHIT!!...JUST SAYIN.

Laundry Day With A Twist
It was my turn to do the laundry, Mom and Dad where out so I decided to do theirs too since it would make my Dad happy. So I walk into their room to get there laundry to do when I hear the shower running in the bathroom. I stop died wondering who is home when the water stops and then a few minutes the bathroom door open and there stood my Dad in a towel. I don’t say anything but just watch him as he walked out of the bathroom still wet. When he stopped I knew he saw me looking at him since he let the towel slide a bit. “May I ask why you are in my room Angel?” “I came in here to get the laundry Dad. Why are you home Dad, mom told me you and her where going to a friend’s house for the day and won’t be back until late tonight.” I look around the room so I don’t look at my Daddy in just a towel since it was making me wet. When I happen to look at him again I notice that his t

Laundry Day
It was my turn to do the laundry, Mom and Dad where out so I decided to do theirs too since it would make my Dad happy. So I walk into their room to get there laundry to do when I hear the shower running in the bathroom. I stop died wondering who is home when the water stops and then a few minutes the bathroom door open and there stood my Dad in a towel. I don’t say anything but just watch him as he walked out of the bathroom still wet. When he stopped I knew he saw me looking at him since he let the towel slide a bit. “May I ask why you are in my room angel?” “I came in here to get the laundry Dad. Why are you home Dad, mom told me you and her where going to a friend’s house for the day and won’t be back until late tonight.” I look around the room so I don’t look at my Daddy in just a towel since it was making me wet. When I happen to look at him again I notice that his towel was tented and it made me blush and bit my lip before l

Launching The Revolutionary Variety Of Ghd Rare Hair Strengtheners With Exclusive Edition Special Weapons
Ghd has recently announced its latest special styler, the Ghd Rare. The Ghd Rare can be a leopard skin print styler with gold trim. The ghd Rare features a heat resistant pouch as well as a snap shut case to maintain your Ghd safe.Ghd is known as the new religion for hair. We will see its unique features ?Advance Ceramic Heaters - The Ghd Rare Iv Styler features a static free sheen.New Rounder Barrel - For perfect curls, waves or flicks, along with a perfect straight look ghd hair straightener, the rounder barrel in the Ghd Rare Iv Styler offers ultimate control. It?s very easy to use and build waves, curls and flicks that you'll will never need exactly the same look twice. You are able to create new styles and looks for your self.New Sleep Mode ? This feature automatically turns the heater off if your Ghd Rare Iv Styler is just not available in excess of Half-hour.New with Universal Voltage ? Often we face problems by not using our products due to the voltage problem particularly if w

An Launch To The Southern Assistance Organization Bee
The kind of assistance company bee most regularly discovered in the U. s. States of The usa of the usa of the united states is the typical southern assistance company bee; you will discover it is quite often regarded to be a huge bumble bee because of the likeness in their colour, figure and developed. This is one that many people who first see make and thus causes much worry because they think that they will act much like their bumble bee near near relatives associates affiliates associates. They are efficient pollinators and do very much like blossoms that are begin confronted although they also appreciate creating gaps in the edges of blossoms that have quite significantly corollas to be able to get nectar. You will often discover out out that they taken gaps in without treatment wood made developed and wood made developed designed and can become a insect to shut near relatives associates affiliates people because of the destruction they can cause. As they taken the gaps into this

Launched Last Year By Virtue Of Size Ipad Mini With Price Advantage
2, launched last year by virtue of size iPad mini with price advantage, iPad mini has achieved great success, these are to become Apple CEO Tim Cook according to market demand after changes are made, these moves also bring with them more profits, but also to Cook at Apple's position more firmly; cheap version of the iPhone if Apple can bring more profits, we believe that Cook will continue to make changes; From the configuration point of view, iPhone 5C not work with the current Android system cell phones, but you know Apple is supposed to be mobile experience, while for some people to buy Apple's iPhone is not the configuration and experience, but the face. In terms of price, this low-cost version of the iPhone, but the median price of many domestic mobile phone manufacturers vital ,3000-3500 yuan price, the absolute number of domestic brand mobile phones will bring a lot of pressure. The difference in the 200-500 million cases, consumers choose domestic or Apple iPhone do? This is a

Laurie
I did not know miss Laurie, For adulthood she will never see, She was cut down in the prime of her life, And all because of anger and strife. Her death she did not deserve, And to what purpose did it serve? And we'll never know the reason why, She thought Laurie deserved to die. Laurie was only sweet sixteen, But an early death she has only seen , I think it was going, way beyond mean To tie a rope around her neck and slit her throat, Just like she were as low as a goat. Both of her killers got life without parole, And I hope they sit there, grow old and rot, For I think they deserved what they got, For thinking she slept with her boyfriend, Is the stupidest reason to make her life end. Michael John Juneau

The Laura Peel Benefit Show
We've organized an event to help a good friend of ours out. Laura Peel is a 22 year-old mother of two whose been recently diagnosed with advanced melanoma. As she's almost constantly undergoing treament one-hundred miles away from her job, she's unable to work to pay for the medical bills she's racking up. She's going to need a community effort behind her to see her through this, and this is what we aim to achieve. She's been an active member of the local music scene since she's been able to get herself into bars(which was in early high school), and we've been friends for just as long. The great thing about this woman is her attitude about her affliction: her disposition hasn't been affected in the least. She's been facing her endeavor with courage and a smile, and she isn't asking for any of this. She doesn't have to. The event will be hosted @ Suck Bang Blow Four Corners in Garden City on saturday, April 21 @ 4 PM. 6 bands including AFTERMATH, CIRCLES IN AUTUMN, PRIMO NOCTIS

Laura Bush On Iraq: 'no One Suffers More Than Their President And I Do'
Raw Story | April 25, 2007 Ron Brynaert According to the first lady, when it comes to Iraq, "No one suffers more than their president and I do." During an interview on NBC's Today show Wednesday concerning Malaria Awareness Day, Laura Bush talked to Ann Curry about "other challenges her husband is facing." "You know the American people are suffering watching --," Curry said to the first lady. "Oh, I know that very much," Laura Bush responded. "And believe me, no one suffers more than their president and I do when we watch this, and certainly the commander in chief, who has asked our military to go into harm's way." Curry then asked, "What do you think the American public need to know about your husband?" "Well, I hope they do know the burden, the worry that's on his shoulders every single day for our troops," Bush said. "And I think they do. I mean, I think if they don't, they're not seeing what the real responsibilities of our president are." The first lady admi

Lauren
Chapter 6 Lauren November started out with a bang. The weather turned unseasonable quickly and the Indian Summer I had so enjoyed in October was a fading memory. I remember the second week of November well. There was a thin coating of snow on the roads and driving to school was an experience, but I made better time than the bus. It was third period and I was standing outside the English classroom, discussing with a classmate, Bill Frayly, about the complete trivialness of Mrs. Comf’s class. We were bitching about every aspect of the class, when a pretty little blonde excused herself as she went past us into the classroom. My jaw must have been visibly on the floor, because Bill whistled through this teeth and nodded, “Quite a piece of work, huh?” “Bill, that is the understatement of the world. That is the physical embodiment of Venus herself.” “All I know is, I’d sure like to find out what makes her tick and maybe wind her clock for her.” “Get real. Such is not f

L.a. Urgent - Please Help This Beautiful Mom & Baby
REPOSTING ONLY CONTACT JANE GARCIA OR GO DIRECTLY TO THE SO LA SHELTER FIRST THING IN THE MORNING AND SAVE THEM, OR MUNECA , IF BAMBI IS ALREADY ADOPTED!! URGENT!!! update from "Jane Garcia" critters911@gmail.com: I stopped in to say hello to this darling mama and puppy combo as it may be the last time I see them together. They both came to their cage door, tails wagging, and both gave me a kiss through the bars. Donations are up to $400 for a qualified rescue to save these two precious lives. Mama Muneca's impound number is A877344. Baby Bambi's impound number is A877348. They are both at the South L.A. shelter. Direct lines: 213-485-0117, 0119, 0227, 0303 (Phones answered 24/7; please get the name of the person you talk to.) With the shelter closed July 4th, there are only 2 days left before baby Bambi vanishes to goodness knows where. She's up for solo adoption at 8am Friday morning, and she is such a character, filled to overflowing with personality, that you know one of the many

Laura 'laura_ozz' Osborn
Laura 'laura_ozz' Osborn Apparently didn't like my "Fubar, A Place For Drama Whores" Tag and downrated it... LoL Guess she didn't like being talked about. View Downrater Block Downrater Leave Comment For Downrater

Lauryn Hill - Sweetest Thing Lyrics
Lauryn Hill - Sweetest Thing lyrics The sweetest thing I've ever known Was like the kiss on the collarbone Soft caress of happiness The way you walk, your style of dress I wish I didn't get so weak Ooo, baby, just to hear you speak Makes me argue just to see How much you're in love with me See, like a queen, a queen upon her throne Chorus Chorus It was the sweet, sweet, sweetest thing I know, It was the sweet, sweet, sweetest thing I know I get mad when you walk away (don't walk away) So I tell you leave, when I mean stay Warm as the sun dipped in black Fingertips on the small of my back More valuable than all I own Like your precious, precious, precious, precious dark skin tone Chorus It was the...Ah I tried to explain Ah...but baby, it's in vain Speaking on my mother's phone The touching makes me think I'm grown, (you ain't grown) Sweet prince of the ghetto Your kisses taste like armoretto Intoxicating, oh, so intoxicating How sad, how sad

Lauryn Hill - Killing Me Softly
Stromin my pain with his fingers Singin my life with his words Killing me softly with his song x2 Telling my whole life with his words Killing me softly with his song Yea yea yea do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do I heard he sang a good song, I heard he had a style, And so I came to see him and listen for a while And there he was this young boy Stranger to my eyes Chorus: Stromin my pain with his fingers (one time, one time) Singin my life with his words (two times, two times) Killing me softly with his song x2 Telling my whole life with his words Killing me softly with his song I felt all flushed with fever Embarrased by the crowd, I felt he found my letters and read each one out loud, I pray that he would finish But he just kept right on Repeat chorus Wooooooaaaa ohhhhhhhhhh laaaa la la la la la la ohhh la laaa woaaa laa Aaaalaaaaaa Repeat chorus until fade

Lauryn Hill - Cant Take My Eyes Off You Lyrics
CHORUS 1] You're just too good to be true. Can't take my eyes off of you. You'd be like heaven to touch. I wanna hold you so much. At long last love has arrived. And I thank God I'm alive. You're just too good to be true. Can't take my eyes off of you. Pardon the way that I stare. There's nothing else to compare. The sight of you leaves me weak. There are no words left to speak. But if you feel like I feel. Please let me know that it's real. You're just too good to be true. Can't take my eyes off of you. [CHORUS 2] I need you baby, if it's quite all right, I love you baby, you warm a lonely night. I love you baby. Trust in me when I say It's OK: Oh pretty baby, don't let me down I pray. Oh pretty baby, now that I found you, stay. And let me love you, oh baby let me love you, oh baby.... Repeat Chorus 1 [To fade] I need you baby, and if it's quite all right, I love you baby, you warm a lonely night. I love you baby. Trust in me when I sa

Lauria's Thank You For The Spotlight Help
This is a thank you to the wonderful people that helped support my quest for spotlight. Stop by and show them all some love! First of all, this wonderful fu did his best to push me over the hump. He sold his rates, did a silent auction, and I have a feeling he gave me every last fubuck he has. LoneWolf {H&L Bombers Founder}}@ fubar This beauty stickied my bully for me! She also made a donation to get me here so love her: ♀Wisħғuł Ŧħinқing@ fubar Everyone listed here made a contribution, the order is random, no one needs to know how much someone gave, just know that each and every one of them gave from their heart! ♥ BooBoo ♥ Founder of Shadow Levelers.Owned By Gary & WildCat..@ fubar Passionman71~ Shadow Leveler~ & Fu-Owner Of Lady Kate~&~ Juggalette Angel~&~Say~&~Sweetfox2007~@ fubar ~PURPLESKY~FU-WIFEY TO BASSTRACKER@ fubar ☺KatieBug☺Owned by Gary☺Shadow Leveler☺{{ H&L Bomber

Laura Branigan - Never In A Million Years
Oh, if I could touch you, It'd be a once in a lifetime dream come true. And oh, if I could have you, just one night, just one time, But I know I'll never get the chance, I'll never get a second glance Never in a million years, Never in a thousand tears, If I could ever hold you, I'd never let go, Never in a million years. How I need you, If you could only see inside my heart, And oh, to be near you, close enough, to reach and touch, well I've thought it over in my mind, If I could walk across the bridge of time Never in a million years, Never in a thousand tears, If I could ever hold you I'd never let go, Never in a million years. But I know, I'll never, never, never get the chance, I'll never get a second glance Never, in a million years, never in a thousand tears, If I could ever hold you, I'd never let you go, never. Never in a million years, Never in a thousand tears, If I could ever hold you, I'd never let go, Never in a million yea

Lauren's Memorial For Moxon
Sirius a good dog. Share Yesterday at 2:14pm I, a child Try to reach the stars. . . Sirius is so near. I run to the nearest hill My reach is always too short Wait till I am a grown man! Now, I am old and bent with years No more running to the hill and mountaintop-- Yet, a warm, steady, life-giving glow Reaches me from Sirius . . . the unattainable. I collect White iridescent and evanescent starbeams For my trip home to Sirius the dog star. --Boris Levinson "Dream" i love you, Moxon, and miss you terribly. sleep well.

Lauren
i called in. i didn't feel like going to work today, so i didn't. lauren, a co-worker and friend of mine text messaged me a couple of times. when i didn't answer any of her messages, she took it upon herself to stop by unannounced, which i didn't really mind. i mean it's not like i was busy or anything (just smokin). I went to the kitchen to make us something to eat. I was at the sink washing some grapes, the big kinds filled with seeds. Suddenly Lauren was behind me. She started rubbing my arms and shoulders. So I turned around to say something and before i can even get out a word she pulls down the front part of my tank top exposing my breast. i was kind of shocked but also kind of turned on by this. she took my left nipple into her mouth without any hesitation. i felt the soft wetness of her tongue move around it, playing with it. Her hands then moved down my hips gently caressing me, making their way down the small of my back and across the curves of my ass. She pulle

Laura Veirs
So I have a bit of a thing for female vocalists, especially of the singer-songwriter variety, and I've been lucky to see a number of great acts at our local Arts Centre - Erin McKeown, Kimya Dawson, Nina Nastasia, Thea Gilmore, Jill Barber, Piney Gir, Mor Kabasi, Isobel Campbell, to name a handful... And I would put last night's Laura Veirs gig on a par with any of those. I'd only heard a couple of songs of hers prior, it's not like I've been a fan, but she was a name I kept seeing pop up, and was keen to hear more, so when the gig came up I thought I'd take a chance, and I'm so glad I did. The two support acts, Old Believers and Cataldo, both turned out to be solo incarnations of larger bands, and doubled up as Veirs' backing too. Both were excellent, and if you like young men singing gentle acoustic songs about feelings and stuff, delivered high quality versions thereof. I leaned more towards Old Believers, simply because it was a little less polished, and therefore a little more

Laurence Fishburne's Daughter Does Porn Video
Van Halen has a song called “Dirty Movies.” He sings about a prom queen who does a porn video and who doesn’t like to see the prom queen do all those nasty things. For one actor Laurence Fishburne doesn’t want to see his daughter in a porn flick she made. Fish tried to buy up all the videos before they were released. Unfortunate for Fish, the videos had been released. Now that people know his daughter is a porn queen, I expect that video to be a big hit. The daughter, Montana, hopes dad will “view it as a positive.” Get it, “view it.” For the story http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2010/08/06/friends-laurence-fishburne-attempted-block-sales-daughters-porn-video-report/?test=faces BlastFM come to you if full stereo without videos. All you need is the music to enjoy yourself. Click it! www.live365.com/stations/blastcasterfm

Lauren Spierer Missing
MISSING: LAUREN SPIERER 4'11''90-100 poundsBlonde HairBlue EyesSmall FrameLAST SEEN: JUNE 3RD 4:30AM wearing black leggings, white shirt, no shoesIf you have ANY information please contact the Bloomington Police Department: 812-339-4477

Laura Neiva Posa Para Revista De Loja De Roupas
Laura Neiva foi convidada para estrelar a revista da loja Bobstore. A atriz foi clicada por Paulo Reis em um prédio antigo no centro de São Paulo e usou looks da coleção de primavera da marca. Durante as fotos, Laura falou sobre a atuação no filme O Menino no Espelho que foi adaptado da obra de Fernando Sabino. “O filme se passa nos anos 30 e a minha personagem usa roupas já com influencias dos 40: saia mais curta, paletózinho mais justo- roupa online portugal. O figurino foi quase todo feito especialmente para o filme por Ricardo Pereira, o Rica, figurinista que desenvolveu até sapatos e bolsas para reproduzir fielmente o estilo de época”, conta. Além do longa, Laura também estará nos curtas Mundo Invisível e Des, exibidos na Mostra Internacional de Cinema de São Paulo e no Festival de Veneza, respectivamente. Sobre possíveis trabalhos em novelas, a atriz conta. “Penso nisso agora pois tinha um trato com a minha mãe e a minha empresária. Combinei

Laus Deo
One detail that is not mentioned, in DC, is that there can never be a building of greater height than the Washington Monument. With all the uproar about removing the ten commandments, etc... This is worth a moment or two of your time. I was not aware of this historical imformation. On the aluminum cap, atop the Washington Monument in Washington, DC, are displayed two words: Laus Deo. No one can see these words. In fact, most visitors to the monument are totally unaware they are even there and for that matter, probably couldn't care less. Once you know Laus Deo's history, you will want to share this with everyone you know. But these words have been there for many years; they are 555feet, 5.125 inches high, perched on top of the monument, facing skyward to the Father of our nation, overlooking the 69 square miles which comprise the District of Columbia, capital of the United States of America. Laus Deo! Two seemingly insignificant, un-noticed words. Out of sight

Laus Deos
With all the uproar about removing the ten commandments, etc... This is worth a moment or two of your time. I was not aware of this historical information. On the aluminum cap, atop the Washington Monument in Washington , DC , are displayed two words: Laus Deo. No one can see these words. In fact, most visitors to the monument are totally unaware they are even there and for that matter, probably couldn't care less. Once you know Laus Deo's history, you will want to share this with everyone you know. But these words have been there for many years; they are 555feet, 5.125 inches high, perched on top of the monument, facing skyward to the Father of our nation, overlooking the 69 square miles which comprise the District of Columbia , capital of the United States of America . Laus Deo! Two seemingly insignificant, un-noticed words. Out of sight and, one might think, out of mind, but very meaningfully placed at the highest point over what is the most powerful ci

L'autunno E L'inverno Hogan Interactive Donna
Ieri pomeriggio, il famoso marchio italiano di lusso hogan outlet nuovo autunno e l'inverno moda mostra tenutasi a Wuhan Plaza boutique internazionali. Stilista di fama internazionale Zheng Jianguo, "Ruili Yi" fashion editor Xueqing Cheng, direttore della moda uomo "immagine Ni Asia," Bella Sposa "femmina ancora Wang Jing quattro pesi massimi della moda Daren è stato invitato a presiedere la speciale salone moda VIP attività. In seguito, la serie TV "attirato molti fan esclamò, passo dopo passo sorprendente" 13 principi attore Yuan Hong presenze per l'evento partì un altro punto culminante. Marchio HOGAN è stata fondata nel 1986, sotto l'italiano high-end di lusso del Gruppo TOD'S, è stato, l'interpretazione HOGAN elaborato di filosofia della moda propria volontà ', dalla calzatura dall'inizio alla occhiali borse, abbigliamento e persino, esplorazione HOGAN continua con sede in loro valori fondamentali, e il suo spirito città unica, lo spirito di innovazione, estetica e s

Lava Lamp
30 November 2004, Washington) Twenty-four year old Philip was found dead in the bedroom of his trailer home, with burnt remains of a Lava Lamp strewn over his kitchen. Puzzled investigators eventually pieced together a likely scenario for Philip's last moments. Lava lamps are a mesmerizing distraction. Philip couldn't wait to fire up his new Lava Lamp. He plugged it in and waited for the pretty globs to begin their surreal dance. But after several frustrating minutes, nothing happened. Then a bright idea hit him: "Why not accelerate this painfully slow process?" He took the lamp to the kitchen, placed it on the stove, and turned up the heat. In short order, the wax melted and began its sinuous dance. But the liquid was designed to be warmed by a 40-watt bulb. It was over-heated. Entranced by the display, Philip forgot that "heat expands". Whereas there was no room for expansion in the glass bottle, the Lava Lamp resorted to a violent explosion to relieve the pressure.* One th

Lava Lamp & The Living Tree
I see many things when the lava warms up writhing bodies knotty knees twisty legs appendages that start out as one thing and then turn into something else Cartoon hands guarding the expression on a face we cannot yet see On the other side there's a face it looks like a mask leering, intrusive and cruel insecure of his less interesting and simply round nose a blue rudolph I suppose Then there's the muscular thigh or is it just more twisting legs It's stopped moving for now till the lamp warms up more Sometimes if I twist it more comes writhing up from below adding yet more to the visuals eventually everything loses its shape and returns to what looks like primeordial ooze. First little bubble then big then finally just one or two large ones bobbing up and down avoiding the heat and drowning from the surface. Earlier there was what looked like an old tree trunk full of shadow, mysterious and aged at the top were faces of babies trying to escape o

Lavendar Stars
A smile... A glance... A whisper... watching as your fingers slowly trace the outline of your neck... your shoulder... your chest.... Your eyes... dark... deep... warm... revealing all that remains unsaid... Your mouth... lips full... soft... turned up at the corners... a perfect smile... I whisper, "Tell me"... Looking straight at me... your stare caressing my heart... "My God, you have no idea." ... One finger to my lips... kissing it softly...wanting to reach up and place it on yours.... soft sigh... I want lie next to you... my head resting on your chest... listening to your heartbeat...arms and legs intertwined... becoming one... Lying in the darkness surrounded by lavendar stars...red silk robe lying on the floor...there is no other place that I would rather be...

Lavender...lmao
Lavender(not letting mindless people get to me)@ CherryTAP This stupid Bitch thinks im brained washed from a good friend of mine... get a clue you stupid moron biatch...if i need saving...he'll be the first person i run too......LMAO! You really need to get a life ...its unhealthy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now Lavender be a good little girl/boy and go play in the street! Also I will delete ppl that are on my list and hers..She is using you to get to me... Been going on for along time...

Lavender
They say the scent of lavender soothes a troubled soul to sleep the aroma permeates and fills with calming peace. I say that laughter is like lavender a gentle trill over coffee or unguarded thoughts at lunch. Some people are lavender listening with quiet interest a balm of joining two minds in a moment into one however brief or fleeting the sweet settles into our fabric for a time, or times again. To change, forever the path we’re on. They say the sent of lavender…

Lavender Makes Me Smile
I was walking in the park dreaming of a spark When I heard the sprinklers whisper Shimmer in the haze of summer lawns Then I heard the children singing They were running through the rainbows They were singing a song for you Well it seemed to be a song for you The one I wanted to write for you, for you Lavenders blue, dilly dilly, lavenders green When I am King, dilly dilly, you will be Queen A penny for your thoughts my dear A penny for your thoughts my dear I.O.U. for your love, IOU for your love Lavenders green, dilly dilly, lavenders blue When you love me, dilly dilly, I will love you A penny for your thoughts my dear A penny for your thoughts my dear IOU for your love, IOU for your love For your love

Lavender Love
Lavender Love by LateNiteFantasy© From seed I grew, like lavender, soaking up sunshine. At night, I dozed under the watchful eyes of the Cosmos. Morning dew dripped on my petals. I blossomed and offered myself to you... my blooms pieced and dried, to scent your clothes and linens. From my essence, I gave you aromatic oil, to soften your skin, perfume your bath, Soothing you with me. For I am lavender, fragrant with love.

Laveau House
Laveau House ( . . Place: At the Laveau House - Location: 1020 St. Ann Street, New Orleans, LA. 70116. *Some people report that the spirit of Marie and her followers still conduct wild voodoo ceremonies this house. * Her detailed apparition has been seen walking down St. Ann Street, attired in a long white dress, wearing her tignon, which is a scarf with seven knots in it. * In a drug store on St. Anne Street, her apparition slapped a man in the face when he failed to acknowledge her presence. She then floated to the ceiling. The owner of the store witnessed the whole thing. Still Haunted? Yes.

Lavender And Rain
LAVENDER AND RAIN This is how I imagine love should be! I reach out for you Your hand reaches out for mine I shiver when you touched me Not understanding quite why And felt tears fill my eyes I pull you closer I can smell your perfume I can also smell you, all of you The smells that I will always remember The smells of your skin, your clothes and your hair You smell like lavender and rain Forever beautiful and refreshing to my soul I see hope and desire in your eyes And … Oh Your Eyes, so amazing to me I could look into your eyes forever And forever love the look your eyes have for me Our lips touch and I feel a soft lightning bolt Surge through my body and excite every part of me My skin seemed to tingle all over You make my heart ached for you Even as I kiss you passionately I know then I would never get enough of you No matter how many times I stared into your eyes And held you close to me Drinking the amazing taste of your kisses I would always

Lavender Honey ( Simple Really )
1 cup dried lavender flowers1 quart mild flavored honeyCombine the two in an airtight jar and sit on a windowsill in the sunlight for 2 to 3 weeks turning every couple of days. Once brewed warm honey in a double boiler untill honey is runny but not too hot. Using a piece of cheesecloth and funnel pour honey through and squeeze remainder of honey out of lavender through the cloth.

L'avenir D'android Est Clair
Los Angeles Times a rapporté que le système d'exploitation Android, développé par Google, a été consolidé le système d'exploitation dominant dans la catégorie smartphone, retrouvée dans environ 50% de tous les appareils intelligents dans la première moitié de 2012. Les chiffres se réfèrent à une étude réalisée par les Canalys cabinet de conseil dans 56 pays au cours du deuxième trimestre dans lequel il a été constaté que Android est le premier dans 35 de ces territoires.Android est devenu le système d'exploitation dominant dans les téléphones haut de gamme dans le monde entier à la fin de 2010, quand il a dépassé Symbian de Nokia, une société de logiciels en voie d'extinction. Technologie finlandaise a été remplacé par Windows Phone de Microsoft cette année. Apple avec son iOS, le système qui exécute l'iPhone, est la deuxième plate-forme la plus populaire, avec une part de marché de 19%, tandis que la société de Steve Jobs est le plus grand fabricant mondial de smartphones.L'élan d'And

* La Vista Bonita *
* LA VISTA BONITA * (DEDICATED TO RODRIGUES ADAZ; MY FATHER , WHEREVER HE MAY BE) BORN IN LOVE IN A SPANISH SONG. IT WAS FIFTEEN YEARS AGO YET IT DOESN'T SEEM THAT LONG MY NAME MEANS BEAUTY, I HOLD IT DEEP IN MY HEART. FOR IT'S THE NAME THAT MY PUERTO RICAN FATHER GAVE TO ME SEPERATED BEFORE MY BIRTH. I CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT AND MUTTER THE WORD "DADDY". MY BELOVED FATHER I ALWAYS WONDER WHERE YOU ARE AND HOW THINGS MAY HAVE BEEN HAD YOU KNOWN. WHEN I DIE MAY OUR BODIES MEET ON A FAR AWAY STAR, WHERE YOU CAN HOLD ME IN YOUR ARMS AND SING ME TO ETERNAL SLEEP WITH A SPANISH LULLABY. I NEVER KNEW YOU, BUT YOU KNEW OF ME SUPPOSEDLY. AND SOMEWHERE IN A DIFFERENT TIME MAYBE I WILL CROSS THAT BORDER LINE. UNTIL THAT TIME I WANT TO SAY "DADDY YOUR LITTLE GIRL IS DOING ALRIGHT" FOR NOW THOUGH AS ALL THE NIGHTS BEFORE AND ALL THE NIGHTS YET TO COME. I MUST CRY............................... CRY...................................... CRY.............

La Vie
I'm writing with loops and squares a shopping list of a life less lived, the road paved with signs, all the wants of Bohemia left behind for the thoughts that come with my next paycheck. I become this woman because it's what's hot right now. I pay my bills...hell yeah, I'm trendy! I service my car on time, I work until weariness consumes me. I conduct my social life with zero interaction, staring at artificial light as if it might stare back. But I know I can turn it off if it gets too hard. I smoke the final drag of the final awake moments, turn off my artificial life, pull the covers over a tired body, and, waiting for sleep to come, know in my heart that it was what I wanted all along.

La Vida Tombola
Singer : Manu Chao Song & Lyrics : Manu Chao Si yo fuera Maradona viviria como el Si yo fuera maradona frente a cualquier porteria Si yo fuera maradona nunca m'equivocaria Si yo fuera maradona perdido en cualquier lugar La vida es una tombola de noche y de dia la vida es una tombola y arriba y arriba... Si yo fuera maradona viviria como el ...mil cohetes...mil amigos y lo que venga a mil por cien... si yo fuera maradona saldria en mondovision para gritarle a la FIFA que ellos son el gran ladron ! la vida es una tombola de noche y de dia... la vida es una tombola y arriba y arriba... Si yo fuera maradona viviria como el porque el mundo es una bola que se vive a flor de piel si yo fuera maradona frente a cualquier porqueria nunca me equivocaria si yo fuera maradona y un partido que llamar si yo fuera maradona perdido en cualquier lugar la vida es una tombola de noche y de dia la vida es una tombola

Lavínia Vlasak: 'tenho Preferido Saias Longas E Vestidos Compridos'
Quase seis meses após dar luz à pequena Estella, a atriz Lavínia Vlasak (36) subiu na passarela, na noite desta terça-feira, para participar do desfile da coleção de alto verão da Karamello, no Rio. Ela usou um vestido verde - sua cor favorita - e com recortes nas laterais. Em conversa com CARAS Online, Lavínia falou sobre o próprio estilo. "Estou curtindo muito saias longas, vestidos compridos. Hoje gosto de algo mais confortável e que dê para abaixar e levantar sem problemas, por causa da criança", disse. Para a atriz, moda não tem segredo: é aquilo que cai bem. "Gosto de ver desfile porque é um grande show. Há peças usáveis, outras não. Gosto de ver essa mistura", afirmou. Lavínia confessou que ainda está perdendo, com muita malhação, os quilinhos adquiridos na gravidez. "Nada é de graça nessa vida. Tem que suar bastante", declarou a atriz, que também é mamãe de Felipe (3). As crianças são frutos do relacionamento com o economista Celso Colombo Neto, com quem é casada

La Volvo S60 Polestar Douche, L'audi Rs4 Et Bmw M3
Pendant des années, Volvo a mis l'accent sur la performance de leurs véhicules. La dernière Volvo a vraiment fait pour lutter contre leurs rivaux allemands était le S60R, et sortit de la production il ya quelques années. La nouvelle S60 et V60 T6 avec des versions 306 ch, mais en réalité ne sont que des voitures puissantes sans conduite dynamique fait jouir comme il peut être une BMW M3. Mais tout a changé avec le Polestar Volvo S60, une machine faite dans le seul but à l'esprit pour écraser leurs rivaux allemands mitigeur thermostatique douche . Auto, Motor und Sport Sverige (l'édition suédoise du célèbre magazine allemand) a été en mesure de tester le circuit de Göteborg, un circuit urbain utilisé dans le TTA, le championnat suédois de voiture de tourisme. Non seulement ils ont été en mesure de le prouver, mais j'ai fait face à la BMW M3 et l'Audi RS4, ses rivaux à battre. Parmi les informations d'identification Polestar Volvo S60, transmission intégrale permanente Hal

Lavoie Scored For Montreal. Hamilton Kicker Luca Congi Made One Of Two Field-goal Attempts, Missing His First From 32 Yards And Making A 22-yarder. Mo
PHILADELPHIA -- Zack Cozart went up swinging when Jonathan Papelbon figured hed be looking. Terrell Suggs Youth Jersey . Cozart won. Cozart hit a tiebreaking homer on Papelbons first pitch in the ninth and the Cincinnati Reds beat the Phillies 5-4 Tuesday night to snap a seven-game losing streak against Philadelphia. "I was looking to swing at the first pitch," Cozart said. "Usually when you face guys like that, theyll try to get ahead of you." That was Papelbons thought process. "I was just thinking too much about him being a leadoff hitter and trying to take one (strike) and look to manufacture a run off me," Papelbon said. "I cant overanalyze and I just have to execute my pitches." Kevin Frandsen hit a tying RBI triple off Jonathan Broxton in the eighth, but the NL Central-leading Reds went ahead to stay on Cozarts shot off Papelbon (3-5). Cliff Lee took a shutout into the seventh before allowing three runs to remain winless at home this season. "Lee was outstanding," Reds manager D

The Law@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WELL I JUST WANTED TO POST A BLOG TO LET EVERYONE KNOW THAT THE JUSTICE SYSTEM SUCKS ASS.. 4 MOTNHS AGO I FINALLY GOT THE NERVE TO GET RID OF MY OLD MAN AFTER 3 YEARS OF PHYSICAL AND METAL ABUSE .. HE THREATENED TO KILL MYSELF AND MY 2 CHILDREN ,, I MEAN HOW BLUNT DID HE HAVE TO GET ::: IF I CANT HAVE YOU NOONE WILL ,, ILL BURN THE HOUSE DOWN AND PUT A GUN IN MIKES MOUTH AND BLOW HIS FUCKIN HEAD OFF :: NOW HE DID THIS INFRONT OF 3 WITNESSES AT MY PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT ,, FOR 3 YEARS I PUT UP WITH HIM BEATING ME ,,, CHOKING ME ,, SMACKING ME .,, KICKING ME HAVEING SEX WITH ME WHEN I WAS SLEEPING .. SO I GOT HIM FOR 2 COUNTS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE WHEN I GOT THE NERVE TO GET HIM OUT OF OUR LIVES .. WHAT DOES THE COURT SYSTEM DO ??? THEY PUT HIM ON PROBATION!!!!!! YES CAN YOU BELIEVE IT PROBATION,. NO SLAP ON THE WRIST NO JAIL TIME NOTHING ... BIG FUCKING WHOOPDEEDOO... SO U TELL ME ONE THING .. THE LAW IS TO SERVE AND PROTECT RIGHT ?? WELL WE ARE WRONG IF WE THINK THAT .. SO MA

Law
common day officers of the law upholding our constitutional rights sitting up there fighting for these yet the criminals have more rights then we we idlely sit by and watch mystically irritable patriotism, boasting, and conceit they themselves bending this law for their own kind, no better then criminals we are all being victimized by this so called politically correct society while these common officers continue to capitalize on us laymen who feel morally right thinking themselves more decent, higher then those who employ them, detached cynicism among the leaders leading us to certain slaughter by protecting these criminals i believe in the right of basic human rights, yet i see the hatred oh their faces a double life of patriotism, politicians and the policing units must be instinctively dead skeptical of this freedom may or may not have taken from us...the citizens alas the victims continue to survive......... (written after a home invasion the police refu

The Law
*Q&A blog posts are here so I can get to know you better by throwing out a few ideas on a subject. This next subject; the law! 1 rules: here for our safety or made to be broken? 2 anarchy: is not a real form of government or let's start a riot? 3 cops: facist jock pigs who got bullied back in high school or just doing their job? 4 your congressman: genuine elected official with your best interest in mind or two faced corrupted S.O.B.? 5 jail: been there done that or oh no, that's for criminals?

Law
The process of a personal injury claim starts when you hire a Lawyer. The personal injury claim will be satisfied when you and your attorney reach the conclusion to your case. When your case will be concluded with the arrival of one of a few outcomes. There will be an out of court resolution for you, or there will be a judgment handed down by the court. Consulting with An Attorney When you consult with a personal injury Lawyer they will ask you questions about the accident and take a number of details from you, including asking you for a medical authority so that your Attorney can request your medical records. Your personal injury Attorney will act and believe as though your case is headed to the court room and for trial. This is to ensure that everything that could be needed or used in court is ready to go. Of course this is so your personal injury Attorney is in the highest position of advantage, for your sake, as your attorney is on your side. This is all set, because at time

The Law
No, I wasn't expecting any phone call from a bogus US Census worker and it is against The Federal Laws to present yourself as one. I do not have a pet but sometimes Sophie is here. Dare you to show up! Photo's will be taken of you and your vehicle with the DMV plates along with yout ID's. Glory to God N

Law And Shamrocks
by Dr. William Pierce I am pleased to see that the public reaction to Bill Clinton's last-minute pardons of so many Jewish criminals is continuing to snowball. How can even the dullest lemmings fail to notice that the two cases making the most headlines are, first, the case of Marc Rich and his partner Pincus Green and, second, the case of the New Square four -- Benjamin Berger, Jacob Elbaum, David Goldstein, and Kalmen Stern from the ultra-Orthodox town of New Square, New York -- and that everyone involved in these cases, except Bill and Hillary themselves, is a Jew? I think that's wonderful, but I hold out no hope that any mainstream commentator on these cases will draw the correct conclusions from them. Let us just be grateful that a perceptive few will be led to understanding, and the lemmings will be left with something to scratch their heads about. I mentioned in my broadcast last week that the reason the Clintons did what they did is that they thought they could get away w

The Law And Art Of Phhhttt!
I know i,m getting alot of funny looks from group members who've read the heading for this post...but after you get through reading,you might not be so confused. Too many people,especially those just starting out on a spiritual path,either start out guilty or end up guilty of the same crime...not knowing the law of PPHHHTTTTT.Well,what the heck is the LAW OF PPHHTTT....sounds like something straight out of MONTY PYTHON...I,d like to explain this LAW OF PPHHTTT....You wont find it in any text anywhere,because it hasnt been written down....its a lesson and a law most only learn when they are more experianced with their spiritual path...and ONLY if their minds are open enough to handle it....THE LAW AND ART OF PPHHTTTT is valuable though...prevents alot of frustration and stress and heartache,so let me share with you the LAW AND ART OF PHHFFTTT.. Ah,how many of us started out on our spiritual paths and were so eager to learn that we dashed headlong,reading at the speed

Law Advice
So I'm having issues with my dead beat of a father ex husband. He does NOTHING with our children. He's living with his parents and even when the boys are there, he stays in his room and his parents watch them. He pays for nothing for the boys...I have to pay for it all. I'm wanting to do something about it in family court, but I'm not sure exactly what I can do. I'm not really sure how I can prove it...or how I can even ask HIS mother to take my side in court. My boys are possibly too young to really even talk to the judge. I know for a fact that they are too young to tell the judge who they want to live with. They aren't infants, but just not at the age to really be taken seriously. Anyone have any advice? Ugh. I hate asking.

Law Enforcement...
A Senior's Advice on Law Enforcement... Pete, 65, of Homestead, Florida, Mississippi, was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. Pete opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked, "Is someone in your house?" and he said "no". Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available. Pete said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all." Then he hung up. Within five minutes three police cars, an armed response unit, and an ambulance showed up at Pete's residence and caught the burglars red-handed. One of the policemen said to Pete: "I thought

Law Enforcement & First Responders
This article came from Police One I thought it might be of interest to all public safety personnel. Personal Protecive Equipment: Terrorism & First Responders by Lt. Raymond E. Foster, LAPD (ret.), MPA Sponsored by ITT Night Vision Prior to September 11th, 2001, first responders generally agree that Chemical, Biological, Radiological and Nuclear (CBRN) incidents and threats were an issue for our brothers and sisters in the fire service. Indeed, standards for Personal Protective Equipment (PPE) were developed by and for firefighters in 1994. However, the WTC and Pentagon attacks, as well as the anthrax attacks of that September and October 2001, stirred our thinking on what PPE requirements were necessary for first responding police personnel as well as special units within the police service. What is CBRN and PPE? CBRN refers to the deliberate use of a chemical, biological, radioactive substance or a nuclear bomb, to harm someone. In chemical attacks it is the

Law Enforcement
This subject will never go away. It still puzzles me to this day, but anyway... The whole concept of law enforcement is interesting, I was watching an episode of Cops right before I wrote this, and I have to say; the whole concept of law enforcement is sad. We as people are supposed to be so advance and sooo civilized, but yet we need law enforcement. C'mon now that doesn't even make sense. I could see us needing some type of enforcement for children, and when I mean children I mean young children like 5-7 because anything past that you have a pretty good concept of right and wrong. We are adults people, but yet we need somebody to hold our hands because we don't know how to act. That is soooo sad its funny. When will people as a whole think about the stuff they do and be like "damn I have to be such an ass to do this" and stop...... But then again we are the HUMAN race so that will never come to be.

Law Enforcement Crack Down On Slavery
On news radio out of Dallas I heard that law enforcement just ran a conference to aid local police departments to crack down on slavery. The actually interviewed law enforcement officials who were shocked at the prevalence of slavery. How appalled they were to learn that a slave can be purchased for $90. To help police investigate slave situations, they listed warning signs that would give police officers a heads up on potential slave situations. These being high privacy fences, trash and junk strewn around the property, and a high number of people living in a single house.The big one was how so many of these slaves are used for sex, implying forced prostitution. So, Texas slaves may have local law enforcement fighting to liberate them and owners would have their doors knocked down and be carted off to jail because their fence is too tall, they did not clean up the trash that blew in over the weekend, and more than one person lives in a single house.

Law Enforcement Officer
basically im feeling more and more stronger to be one lately. This disturbing incident happened to me a few days ago, and the way they handle was very nice, polite, professional, and i really appreciate that. I was impressed. Ive always had a thing for them, and i once wanted to be an ASPCA officer (basically an animal cop). But being a japanese citizen, i dont have a right to be one in the US. I dont even know too much about them or if i even qualify to be one physically/mentally, but ive always thought about it. Even if i were to somehow get a US green card and then as a next step, take a citizenship test to be one, I would probably be too old to be one.....or wouldnt I???

Lawers And Cigars
LAWYERS AND CIGARS... This took place in Charlotte , North Carolina. A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost 'in a series of small fires.' The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued - and WON! (Stay with me, now) Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable 'fire' and w

Law Firm Interview
There was a job opening in the country's most prestigious law firm and it finally comes down to Robert and Paul. Both graduated magna cum laude from law school. Both come from good families. Both are equally attractive and well spoken. It's up to the senior partner to choose one, so he takes each candidate aside and asks, "Why did you become a lawyer? Only seconds after talking to them both, he chooses Paul. Baffled, Robert takes Paul aside after the interview. "I don't understand why I was rejected. When Mr. Armstrong asked me why I became a lawyer, I said that I had the greatest respect for the law, that I'd lay down my life for the Constitution and that all I wanted was to do right by my clients. What in the world did you tell him?" "I said I became a lawyer because of my hands," Paul replies. "Your hands? What do you mean?" "Well, I took a look one day and there wasn't any money in either of them!"

The Law For The Wolves
Now this is the law of the jungle, as old and as true as the sky, And the wolf that shall keep it may prosper, but the wolf that shall break it must die. As the creeper that girdles the tree trunk, the law brunet forward and back; For the strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack. Wash daily from nose tip to tail tip; drink deeply, but never too deep; And remember the night is for hunting and forget not the day is for sleep. The jackal may follow the tiger, but, cub, when thy whiskers are grown, Remember the wolf is a hunter—go forth and get food of thy own. Keep peace with the lords of the jungle, the tiger, the panther, the bear; And trouble not Hathi the Silent, and mock not the boar in his lair. When pack meets with pack in the jungle, and neither will go from the trail, Lie down till the leaders have spoken; it may be fair words shall prevail. When ye fight with a wolf of the pack ye must fight him alone and afar, Lest othe

L.a. Why
L.A. why you leave us so soon why you leave use without a clue man i miss you I'am lost without you Yeah we didnt keep in touch But you always know that you was my bro But know you gone What am i suppose to do Without you hear I guess i will go near the light So there will be no more crys But to let you know L.A Yeah you was shot and killed But know that i will find him for you And i will kill him so he will feel What you feel r.i.p L.A and for that nigga that killed you fuck you b/c when i find you your dead as fuck motherfucker

The Law Is The Law !
THE LAW IS THE LAW ! This is one of the better e-mails I have received in a long time! I hope this makes its way around the USA several times over!!!!! So Be It! THE LAW IS THE LAW So if the US government determines that it is against the law for the words "under God" to be on our money, then, so be it. And if that same government decides that the "Ten Commandments"are not to be used in or on a government installation, then, so be it. I say, "so be it," because I would like to be a law abiding US citizen. I say, "so be it," because I would like to think that smarter people than I are in positions to make good decisions. I would like to think that those people have the American public's best interests at heart. BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I'D LIKE? Since we can't pray to God, can't Trust in God and cannot post His Commandments in Government buildings, I don't believe the Government and its e mployees should participate in the Easter and Christmas celebrations which

The Law Is The Law
THE LAW IS THE LAW – So Mote It Be! (A Great Concept) If the U.S. government determines that it is against the law for the words "under God" to be on our money, then, so mote it be. And if that same government decides that the "Ten Commandments" are not to be used in or on a government installation, then, so mote it be. And since they already have prohibited any prayer in the schools, on which they deem their authority, then, so mote it be. I say, "so mote it be," because I would like to be a law abiding U.S. citizen. I say, "so mote it be," because I would like to think that smarter people than I are in positions to make good decisions. I would like to think that those people have the American Publics' best interests at heart. BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I'D LIKE? Since people can't pray to God, can't Trust in God and cannot post the commandments in government buildings, I don't believe the government and its employees should participate in the Easter and Christmas celebrations wh

The Law Is The Law
THE LAW IS THE LAW This is one of the better e-mails I have received in a long time! I hope this makes its way around the USA several times over!!!!! So Be It! THE LAW IS THE LAW So if the US government determines that it is against the law for the words "under God" to be on our money, then, so be it. And if that same government decides that the "Ten Commandments" are not to be used in or on a government installation, then, so be it. And since they already have prohibited any prayer in the schools, on which they deem their authority, then so be it. I say, "so be it," because I would like to be a law abiding US citizen. I say, "so be it," because I would like to think that smarter people than I are in positions to make good decisions. I would like to think that those people have the American Publics' best interests at heart. BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I'D LIKE? Since we can't pray to God, can't Trust in God and cannot Post His Commandments in

The Law Is The Law!
THE LAW IS THE LAW! I really love this one. This is one of the better e-mails I have received in a long time! I hope this makes its way around the USA several times over!!!!! So Be It! THE LAW IS THE LAW So if the US government determines that it is against the law for the words 'under God' to be on our money, then, so be it. And if that same government decides that the 'Ten Commandments' are not to be used in or on a g overnment installation, then, so be it. I say, ' so be it,' because I would like to be a law abiding US citizen. I say, 'so be it,' because I would like to think that smarter people than I are in positions to make good decisions. I would like to think that those people have the American public's best interests at heart. BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I'D LIKE? Since we can't pray to God, can't Trust in God and cannot post His Commandments in Government buildings , I don't believe the Government and its employees should participate in the Easter

The Law Is The Law.....
So if the US government determines that it is against the law for the words 'under God' to be on our money, then, so be it. And if that same government decides that the 'Ten Commandments' are not to be used in or on a government installation, then, so be it.I say, 'so be it,' because I would like to be a law abiding US citizen.I say, 'so be it,' because I would like to think that smarter people than I are in positions to make good decisions. I would like to think that those people have the American public's best interests at heart. BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I'D LIKE? Since we can't pray to God, can't Trust in God and cannot post His Commandments in Government buildings, I don't believe the Government and its employees should participate in the Easter and Christmas celebrations which honor the God that our government is eliminating from many facets of American life. I'd like my mail delivered on Christmas, Good Friday, Thanksgiving &Easter. After all, it's just another day.I'd like the US

The Law Is The Law
321.1 THE LAW IS THE LAW! I really love this one I hope this makes its way around the USA several times over!!!!! So Be It! THE LAW IS THE LAW So if the US government determines that it is against the law for the words "under God" to be on our money, then, so be it. And if that same government decides that the "Ten Commandments" are not to be used in or on a government installation, then, so be it. I say, " so be it," because I would like to be a law abiding US citizen. I say, "so be it," because I would like to think that smarter people than I are in positions to make good decisions. I would like to think that those people have the American public's best interests at heart. BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I'D LIKE? Since we can't pray to God, can't Trust in God and cannot post His Commandments in Government buildings , I don't believe the Government and its employees should participate in the Easter and Christmas celebrations w

The Law Is The Law
I really love this one This is one of the better e-mails I have received in a long time! I hope this makes its way around the USA several times over! So Be It! THE LAW IS THE LAW So if the US governme nt determine s that it is against the law for the words "under God" to be on our money, then, so be it. And if that same government decides that the "Ten Commandments" are not to be used in or on a government installation, then, so be it. I say, "so be it,"< /FONT> because I would like to be a law abiding US citizen. I say, "so be it," because I would like to think that smarter people than I are in positions to make good decisions. I would like to think that those people have the American public best interests at heart. BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I'D LIKE? Since we can't pray to God, can't Trust in God and cannot post His Commandments in Government buildings , I don't believe the Government and its employees

The Law Is The Law!
THE LAW IS THE LAW! I really love this one. This is one of the better e-mails I have received in a long time! I hope this makes its way around the USA several times over!!!!! So Be It! THE LAW IS THE LAW So if the US government determines that it is against the law for the words "under God" to be on our money, then, so be it. And if that same government decides that the "Ten Commandments" are not to be used in or on a government installation, then, so be it. I say, "so be it," because I would like to be a law abiding US citizen. I say, "so be it," because I would like to think that smarter people than I are in positions to make good decisions. I would like to think that those people have the American public's best interests at heart. BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I'D LIKE? Since we can't pray to God, can't Trust in God and c annot post His Commandments in Government buildings, I don't believe the Government and its employees should participate in the Easter and Chri

The Law Is The Law!
THE LAW IS THE LAW! I really love this one. This is one of the better e-mails I have received in a long time! I hope this makes its way around the USA several times over! So Be It! THE LAW IS THE LAW So if the US government determines that it is against the law for the words 'under God' to be on our money, then, so be it. And if that same government decides that the 'Ten Commandments' are not to be used in or on a government installation, then, so be it. I say, 'so be it,' because I would like to be a law abiding US citizen. I say, 'so be it,' because I would like to think that smarter people than I are in positions to make good decisions. I would like to think that those people have the American public's best interests at heart. BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I'D LIKE? Since we can't pray to God, can't Trust in God and cannot post His Commandments in Government buildings, I don't believe the Government and its employees should participate in the Easter and Christma

The Law Is The Law
THE LAW IS THE LAW! I really love this one This is one of the better e-mails I have received in a long time! I hope this makes its way around the USA several times over!!!!! So Be It! THE LAW IS THE LAW So " if " the US government determines that it is against the ! law for the words "under God" to be on our money, then, so be it. And " if " that same government decides that the "Ten Commandments" are not to be used in or on a government installation, then, so be it. I say, "so be it," because I would like to be a law abiding US citizen. I say, "so be it," because I would like to think that smarter people than I are in positions to make good decisions. I would like to think that those people have the American public's best interests at heart. BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I'D LIKE? Since we can't pray to God, can't Trust in God and cannot

Lawl!
Look what I got! One of your photos has been marked as NSFW (Not Safe For Work). Please make sure ALL your NSFW photos are flagged as NSFW and placed in an NSFW album. Your photo was marked NSFW because it was either offensive or NSFW in nature. Also, your primary photo and all your background photos may not be NSFW photos. NSFW CONTENT IS NOT ALLOWED in the public areas of the CT. You can define a new primary photo and background photos by clicking on images link. Continued violation of CherryTAP policy, will result in your account being deleted without warning. ---------------------- LOL WTF is this? None of my public photos are even CLOSE to NSFW...F&&$ING HATERS!

Lawless
I'm gonna take you, Lay you face down on my bed. On bloody roses see you smile. Ooh your screaming heart is bleeding black, and screaming loud. You got no prayer nowhere. There ain't no way out tonight. I feel your face embrace the sweat fall from my head. My name in vain and flames you cry. Ooh and your bloody lips you raise to kiss away goodbye. You wicked bitch I'll take you. Take you away and make you mine. I'll make you cry for mercy. I'll make you cry out loud. You're gonna lie and curse me. Hurt me, burn me now. Gonna make you cry for mercy. Nobody never gonna hear you now. I'll make you mine but first I I'll make you cry out loud.

Lawless
I can't take anymore I have no more wings I can't take anymore The gates of heaven sealed Don't you hear me... Don't you hear me... Don't you fear me... Of never coming back Do you know what it's like When heaven's hung in black I can't take anymore Our walls are black and bleed I can't take anymore No rooms here for your screams Don't you hear me... Don't you hear me... Don't you fear me... Of never coming back Oh, no more tears please Hanging heaven black No don't you leave me to die... Don't you leave me to die... Don't you leave me to die... No don't you leave me to die... And you'll know what it's like The wailing wall of sighs Hanging heaven black And you'll know what it's like When paradise is blind When heaven's hung in black Time - How can you say That I've no time Am I blind - now you say that Heaven's blind, yeah Across the bridge of sighs, blind, time, time Oh Lord, don't you leave me to die... No, don't you leave me to die

Lawlermobile Driver
I love you with my entire heart. Even though I don't possess it any more. You have it in the palms of your hands, Love. I pray only that it remains there. . . . . and that your heart remains with me. I Love You.

Lawmaker: U.s. Catching, Releasing Top Terror Targets
Please Use The Box To Your Left To Rate This Story WASHINGTON (CNN) -- The U.S. military already knows what half of its most-wanted terrorist targets look like because they have been apprehended and photographed in the past, a Republican congresswoman said Friday. The United States is operating "a catch and release program for al Qaeda in Iraq," said Rep. Heather Wilson, a member of the House intelligence committee. In remarks at the National Press Club, the New Mexico lawmaker said a senior official told her that the U.S. military already has photographs of "fully half of the high-value al Qaeda targets in Iraq" presently being hunted. (Watch how Congress is divided over whether to send more troops to Iraq ) "They're wearing orange jumpsuits in the mugshots we took of them when we captured them the first time," Wilson recalled the official telling her. "We are operating a catch and release program for al Qaeda in Iraq. This is inexcusable and frustrating ... for the

Lawmakers Urge Americans To Pray For Nation
(CNSNews.com) - A group of lawmakers who meet each week to pray in the U.S. Capitol called on the American people Wednesday to join them in praying for the country. However, supporters of a so-called separation between church and state said the lawmakers should "stop meddling in religion and get back to work." "There is an enormous power in prayer," Rep. Randy Forbes (R-Va.) told a news conference outside the U.S. Capitol. "This is a crucial time for those who believe in the power to pray that God would heal our land and sustain our nation." The Congressional Prayer Caucus Foundation, a group of lawmakers led by Forbes that holds a weekly prayer meeting in the Capitol, has launched a website asking Americans to commit to pray for five minutes every week. "Our nation faces enormous challenges that seem to grow daily," Forbes said, calling on Americans of all faiths to "build a spiritual prayer wall around America that will go 24 hours a day, seven days a week." Rep. Mike McI

Lawmakers Submit To Obamacare- Accidentally
If it's good enough for the American people, it should be good enoughfor Washington lawmakers, right? Maybe.In their haste to pass Obama's healthcare overhaul, liberals inCongress overlooked one detail-they have inadvertently madethemselves ineligible for the top-notch health care plans previouslyavailable to them through the Federal Employees Health BenefitsProgram, and instead have accidentally subjected themselves to thedisastrous effects of Obamacare.The Congressional Research Service released a report detailing theprovisions in Obama's healthcare reform bill that would requiremembers of Congress and their staffs to surrender their FEHBP coveragein exchange for nationalized insurance. This would leave Congress inan interesting quandary: since the federal exchange will not takeeffect until 2014, the members and their staff would be left withoutinsurance until then. Jerry Markon of the Washington Post writes: "The confusion was one ofseveral potential problems that congressional Rep

Lawn Gnomes: Placing Gaudy Ornaments Of Fear In Your Mental Garden
lawn gnomes....gardeners love 'em...the elderly adore 'em...and small children around the world are absolutely terrified by them. why, aside from scaring those little tots, would anyone enjoy plastic, petrified midgets wearing dunce caps in their yard? i want to know. if you want to know, join me as i venture deep into a metaphorical wildreness where a temple of truth awaits for us to explore and probably die in....temples have a lot of booby traps.alrighty...to first understand why lawn gnomes seem to be so cherished and beloved, you must first understand why children are deathly afraid of the hairy, dumb midgets. to understand why children are afraid, you must have the mind of a child....and alas, i have such a mind. you see, according to myself, children are frightened of lawn gnomes because they never stop smiling. nobody smiles all the time except for clowns, and children HATE clowns. if there's like a top five fear list, clowns is number one....it goes lawn gnomes, lima beans, gh

The Lawn Man
The lawn man…. I had been watching you for awhile, Had been thinking about you Your body your lips your touch. And today was no different as I set and watched you work out in the yard. My Body would tremble at the thought of your touch… but I knew it was not meant to be…you belonged to another…. But then I could always dream. As I’m standing in the widow daydreaming of you my eyes come back into focus and I realize that your are looking right at me. I could feel my face blush as I dropped the curtain and backed away from the window. OH god that look…in your eyes…it just took my breath away. I was standing in the kitchen and still shaking when you come in though the back door. I turned and faced the sink trying to look busy. “All done” you said from somewhere behind me. I could not bare to look at your eyes. It would be just too much. You would see it in my face how I long to feel your body next to mine. “The check is on the table, Thanks again for coming over a

Lawn Mowing Buddies
Ok, so I am sitting anger management(repaying my debt to society) and participating as usual. The idea is they show 18 of us guys a video on saturday mornings about how it is wrong to violate the Golden Rule. Excellent premise. In this video an african American couple are fighting. The fight goes south and and of course the dude gets pissed his wife will not let hime go joy riding in th car. Apparently they cannot afford fixing it every time he attempts to floss his whip. His only retort is his aleady spent tax check. Spent on things to "fix" the car. The ask us at the end of the video "What is he going to spend the money on?" I reply "Spinny hub caps." "Why spinny hub caps?" I reply - "He can't afford spinny rims."(From the looks of the video they are completely broke.) "Who told him to buy spinny rims/hubcaps?" I reply (with NO hesitation)"BET." These comments, though true, did not get a backlash. Everyone laughed and we all got a kick out if. Even the black dude 2 seats f

Lawn Care
All about gardening month by month. We cover what you need to do in your yard to keep it looking healthy and inviting. Many gardening articles covering everything you can think of for landscaping and garden care. Lawn Care | Fall Lawn Care

Law Of Three
The Law of Three The other "Law" of Witchcraft is the "THREE-FOLD LAW OF RETURN". Basically, this is the natural law of "cause and effect". The Goddess charges us to exercise great care in all that we, as Witches, do and say and even think. The Threefold Law takes the notion that "what we reap, we will sow", a few steps further..in fact, THREE steps further. For what we do "for good or for ill, shall be returned to us threefold." In light of this fact, Witches are loath to cause any harm, lest it be returned to them in spades!! When we come to really understand the Three-Fold Law and it's ramifications, we can see that although on the surface, it acts like a prohibition, it also serves as a source of blessing. Witches seek to heal and to help all of Life, and when we are working for "the good of all", it is natural that the "good" will come to us also. But it falls on us multiplied and empowered..three-fold is quite an increase no matter what mathematical method you use!

The Law Of Attraction, Service Related Quotes And My Views On Them
The Law of Attraction We are creating our reality, every moment, every day. There are three elements that go into helping us achieve our goals: our thoughts, our feelings, and our actions. When we understand the law of attraction and consciously use these tools to attract what we want into our lives. Just think of all the possibilities in life, all the potential that is available to each one of us all the time. Empathy “All altruism springs from putting yourself in the other person’s place.” - Harry Emerson Fosdick It’s all about empathy. We are all one. We share so much that we can understand another person’s heartache or sorrow. We can relate to each other. We want to do what we can to alleviate pain. This is how service begins. All the Good “In the time we have it is surely our duty to do all the good we can to all the people we can in all the ways we can.” - William Barclay I believe that it is our duty to serve. I also believe that it is our nature to serve. We ar

The Law Of Power
1.The Power shall not be used to bring harm, to injure or control others. But if the need rises, the Power shall be used to protect your life or the lives of others. 2.The Power is used only as need dictates. 3.The Power can be used for your own gain, as long as by doing so you harm none. 4.It is unwise to accept money for use of the Power, for it quickly controls its taker. Be not as those of other religions. 5.Use not the Power for pride full gain, for such cheapens the mysteries of Wicca and magick. 6.Ever remember that the Power is the sacred gift of the Goddess and God, and should never be misused or abused. 7.And this is the Law of Power.

The Law Of Power
The Law of the Power The Power shall not be used to bring harm, to injure or control others. But if the need rises, the Power shall be used to protect your life or the lives of others. The Power is used only as need dictates. The Power can be used for your own gain, as long as by doing so you harm none. It is unwise to accept money for use of the Power, for it quickly controls its taker. Be not as those of other religions. Use not the Power for prideful gain, for such cheapens the mysteries of Wicca and magick. Ever remember that the Power is the sacred gift of the Goddess and God, and should never be misused or abused. And this is the law of the Power.

The Law Of The Power
1. The power shall not be used to bring harm, to injure or control any other being or creature. But, if the need arises, the Power shall be used to protect your life or the lives of others. 2. The Power is used only as the need dictates. 3. The Power can be used for your own gain, as long as by doing so you harm none. 4. It is unwise to accept money for the use of the Power, for it quickly controls its taker. Be not as those of other religions. 5. Use not the Power for prideful gain, for such cheapens the mysteries of Wicca and magick. 6. Ever remember that the Power is a sacred gift of the Goddess and God, and should Never be misused or abused in any way. 7. And this is the Law of the Power.

The Law Of Repulsion
It has been said that 'God works in mysterious ways' That events come in to our lives, good and bad, and we have no control over what really goes on. Now, that's true, if that's the way you view Life. Law of Repulsion "Juxtaposed coherent aggregates vibrating in discord are mutually repelled." So what does that mean? A 'coherent aggregate' is the sum total of a group or collection of different objects that have 'decided' to act as one. So, we are indeed a coherent aggregate. All matter, sound, noise, etc. is comprised of vibration. Thoughts are vibrations Emotions are VERY strong vibrations The underlying fabric of creation, is Consciousness. Meaning that Mind itself, is at the base of all things. This mind has no thoughts of its own. It is the Universal Mind as a Field of Infinite Potential & Possibility What this means is that the Cosmos, the Universe, the One Mind(All the same thing) is receptive. It's what allows creation to take place, but thi

The Law Of Power
The Law of Power: 1. The Power shall not be used to bring harm, to injure or to control others. But if the need arises, the Power shall be used to protect your life or the lives of others. 2. The Power is used only as need dictates. 3. The Power can be used for your own gain; as long as by doing so you harm none. 4. It is unwise to accept money for the use of the Power, for it quickly controls its taker. Be not as those of other religions. 5. Use not the Power for prideful gain, for such cheapens the mysteries of Wicca and Magick. 6. Ever remember that the Power is a sacred gift of the Goddess and the God, and should never be misused or abused. 7. And this is the Law of the Power.

The Law Of Power
1. The Power shall not be used to bring harm, to injure or to control others. But if the need arises, the Power shall be used to protect your life or the lives of others. 2. The Power is used only as need dictates. 3. The Power can be used for your own gain; as long as by doing so you harm none. 4. It is unwise to accept money for the use of the Power, for it quickly controls its taker. Be not as those of other religions. 5. Use not the Power for prideful gain, for such cheapens the mysteries of Wicca and Magick. 6. Ever remember that the Power is a sacred gift of the Goddess and the God, and should never be misused or abused. 7. And this is the Law of the Power.

The Law Of Love
There is no snarl or intricate That love cannot adjust There is no hurt that love won't heal if love will fully trust Love overcomes in harmony, though subtle it may be Apply the principle of LOVE to dissolve disunity... Misunderstandings are cleaned up, Goodwill and peace appear, When you express God's Holy law You're freed from anxious fear There is no good you need to lack if you this rule apply; There is no need, however great That love cannot supply. *_dYaNiKa_*

Law Of The Garbage Truck
How often do you let other people's nonsense change and control your mood and life? Do you let a bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss, an insensitive employee or a grumpy mate ruin your day? Unless you're the "Terminator," they probably set you back on your heels. However, the mark of a successful person is how quickly he or she can quickly refocus on what's important. I learned this in the back of a taxi. Here's what happened. I hopped in a taxi and took off. As we were driving along all of a sudden a car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. The taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded & missed the car just by inches! This is what happened next. The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused the accident whipped his head around and started yelling bad words at us. Some of the words came with special facial expressions and nasty hand signs. Next is what blew me away. The taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. I mean, he was friendly

Law Of Threes
Why do bad things happen in threes? It's not just that famous people tend to die in bunches of threes, but even the little things happen in threes it seems. First my iPod breaks this week, then I find the bank screwed up paying one of my bills (I normally love electronically paying bills), and to top it off, my trip back to the states for a class has been postponed for a month due to the lack of someone else being able to do their job. So what started out as a good month has turned sour quickly... I just hope that I can work out making to my little sister's wedding next weekend. Work's going to owe me big time already, but if I miss that, there will be hell to pay.

The Law Of Motion
A crutch you say? As you shit on me.. Shit on my ideas. You claim to know? To know anything... You claim to know Understand my soul? If you were sage I would laugh Yet all I do is cry. And pity you and your shallow Thoughts. I pity you and your suit and your tie I pity you and your tiny cock already covered with all the filth of life. And once again here you are. Ready to shit on her like the last. While a true man holds on to the past. Eating himself like Ron Jeremy It can be done. Who has not seen it. Well those moments are fleeting We all know this by now. Once it is sucked it is Dry. To never be truly saturated again. It's nothing more than we deserve. It's nothing more than reaction. It's nothing.

Law On Softdrugs
I wonder what people think about why they make marijuana legal in The Netherlands and like for instance it's illegal in America,... Here in the Netherlands, you can buy marijuana or hashis in what we call "coffieshop" and magical shrooms and herbal energypills in "smart shops". above 16 you may buy sigarettes, and strong liquor and soft drugs above 18. science proove that marijuana is less bad than alcohol. the effect is less irritating and don't have a head ache the next day compared to alcohol. science proove as well that it also have a healing effect. it also lowers the crime rate and it gets people better informed of choosing to or not to use it. ----> What's your point of vieuw? do you think it should be leagal or illegal? have you tried before? :) what do i think,...? Love to be in the Netherlands! haha,... :p plz leave a comment (;-D)+[

Law Of Life
& Law of Mechanical Repair After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee. & Law of the Workshop Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. & Law of Probability The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. & Law of the Telephone If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal. & Law of the Alibi If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. & Variation Law If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time). & Law of the Bath When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. & Law of Close Encounters The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someon e you don't want to be seen with. & Law of the Result When you try to prove

Law & Order
Game Name: Law & Order Category: TV/Movie Buzz Level: High Directions: If you've ever seen Law and Order, you know the basic set up of the game: First half of the show is devoted to the cops and the second half to the lawyers. Anytime you see a lawyer in the cop half or cop in the lawyer half...drink! Every so often a black screen will pop up showing the time and location. See that and drink! Anytime someone is read the Miranda Rights ("you have the right to remain silent...yadda yadda yadda") -- drink! This last rule is the kicker: Every episode has a victim. Whenever the victim's name is said...drink! This can get ugly especially if the victim is a child and has a hysterical mother.

The Law Of The Garbage Truck (a Must Read)
One of the best emails I have read in a long time How often do you let other people's nonsense change your mood? Do you let a bad driver, rude waiter, inconsiderate boss, or an insensitive employee ruin your day? Unless you're the Terminator, for an instant you're probably set back on your heels. However, the mark of a successful person is how quickly one can get back their focus on what's important. Sixteen years ago I learned this lesson. I learned it in the back of a New York City taxi cab. Here's what happened. I hopped in a taxi, and we took off for Grand Central Station. We were driving in the right lane when, all of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car's back end by just inches! The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started yelling bad words at us. My taxi driver just smiled and

Law Of The Power
The Law of Power is a set of rules set to govern over the blessing of the God and Goddess. It is as follows: The Power shall not be used to bring harm, to injure or control others. If need arises, the Power shall be used to protect your life, or the lives of others. The Power is used only as need dictates. The Power can be used for your own gain, as long as by doing so you harm none. It is unwise to accept money for the use of the Power, for it quickly controls its taker. Be not those of other religions. Use not the Power for prideful gain, for such cheapens the mysteries of Wicca and Magick. Ever remember that the Power is a sacred gift of the Goddess and God, and should never be misused or abused. And this is the Law of Power.” Lastly, always remember The Law: We are of the Old Ways, among those who walk with the God and Goddess, and receive their love. Keep the Sabbats and Esbats to the best of your ability, for to do otherwise is to lessen your connection with t

The Law Of Giving
The Law of Giving Deepak Chopra February 1, 2008 Categories: Relationships, Relationships /Social Every relationship is one of give and take. Giving engenders receiving, and receiving engenders giving. What goes up must come down; what goes out must come back. In reality, receiving is the same thing as giving, because giving and receiving are different aspects of the flow of energy. And if you stop the flow of either, you interfere with nature’s intelligence. In every seed is the promise of thousands of forests. But the seed must give its intelligence to the fertile ground. Through its giving, its unseen energy flows into material manifestation. The more you give, the more you will receive, because you will keep the abundance of the universe circulating in your life. In fact, anything that is of value in life only multiplies when it is given. That which doesn’t multiply through giving is neither worth giving nor worth receiving. If, through giving, you feel you have lost s

Law Of Satanism
Lex talionis, the Law of Retaliation (lex/legis f. nom, "law" and talio/talionis f. gen, "retaliation, returning like unto like") informed much of LaVey's Satanic formulation. "Do unto others as they do unto you" supplanted the directive to "do unto others as you would have them do unto you", so that you are only to give compassion and sympathy to those who deserve it. It is a reactive rule, compared with the Christian proactive rule; by the rule, love, compassion, and sympathy are not to be wasted upon "ingrates"; these are to be given only to those who the practitioner feels deserves them. The religion of Satanism, as LaVey espouses it, is centered almost exclusively upon the concept of being one's own god; as such, values and attachments such as love, affection, and caring, along with opposing concepts such as hate and wrath, are to be disseminated at the discretion of the individual Satanist. LaVey felt that intelligent and strong people spent too much time caring for psychic vampi

The Law Of The Garbage Truck
Wings Over The Mountains of Life The Law of The Garbage Truck One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy; and I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.' He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wis

Law Of The Garbage Truck
Law of the Garbage Truck One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck. ' He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spr

The Law Of Fives
THE INSIDE STORY! THE LAW OF FIVES The Law of Fives is one of the oldest Erisian Mysterees. It was first revealed to Good Lord Omar and is one of the great contributions to come from The Hidden Temple of The Happy Jesus. POEE subscribes to the Law of Fives of Omar's sect. And POEE also recognizes the holy 23 (2+3=5) that is incorporated by Episkopos Dr. Mordecai Malignatus, KNS, into his Discordian sect, The Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria. The Law of Fives states simply that: ALL THINGS HAPPEN IN FIVES, OR ARE DIVISIBLE BY OR ARE MULTIPLES OF FIVE, OR ARE SOMEHOW DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY APPROPRIATE TO FIVE. The Law of Fives is never wrong. In the Erisian Archives is an old memo from Omar to Mal-2: "I find the Law of Fives to be more and more manifest the harder I look." Please do not use this document as toilet tissue The Nagas of Upper Burma say that the sun shines by day because, being a woman, it is afraid to venture out at night.

The Law Of Attraction
How Then, Do We Begin to Get Ourselves Out of Our Current Situation and Claim the Abundance We Seek? The Law of Attraction This is how Bob Proctor explains the Law of Attraction: We all work with one infinite power. We all guide ourselves by exactly the same laws. The natural laws of The Universe are so precise that we don’t even have any difficulty building spaceships; we can send people to the moon, and we can time the landing with the precision of a fraction of a second. Wherever you are – India, Australia, New Zealand, Stockholm, London, Toronto, Montreal, or New York – we’re all working with one power. One law. It’s the Law of Attraction! The Secret is The Law of Attraction! Everything that’s coming into your life, you are attracting into your life. And it’s attracted by virtue of the images you’re holding in your mind. It’s what you’re thinking. Whatever is going on in your mind, you are attracting t

Law Of Attraction
I am a firm believer in the law of attraction, this law gives us the power to get anything we want! We have to believe we are worthy to receive these things. You must be passionate, happy, joyful, positive to receive these things, the universe sees that you are happy and will send more of that feeling to you! Its all about how you feel! Having those feelings and giving those feeling to others help you to receive grat and wonderful things from the universe, it is yours for the taking if you just be happy!

48 Laws Of Power
Law 1 Never Outshine the Master Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. In your desire to please or impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite – inspire fear and insecurity. Make your masters appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power. Law 2 Never put too Much Trust in Friends, Learn how to use Enemies Be wary of friends-they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove. In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them. Law 3 Conceal your Intentions Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. If they have no clue what you are up to, they cannot prepare a defense. Guide them far enough dow

Laws Of Computing
1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen. 2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete. 3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you'd least expect to find it. 4. When the going gets tough, upgrade. 5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction. 6. To err is human...to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, its downright natural. 7. He who laughs last, probably has a back-up. 8. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions. 9. A complex system that doesn't work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine. 10. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.

Laws Of The Natural Universe
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. Law of the Telephone: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time). Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to som

Laws
...You delight in laying down laws, Yet you delight more in breaking them. Like children playing by the ocean who build sand-towers with constancy and then destroy them with laughter. ...But while you build your sand-towers the ocean brings more sand to the shore, And when you destroy them the ocean laughs with you. ...Verily the ocean laughs always with the innocent. But you who walk facing the sun, what images drawn on the earth can hold you? You who travel with the wind, what weather-vane shall direct your course? What man's law shall bind you if you break your yoke but upon no man's prison door? What laws shall you fear if you dance but stumble against no man's iron chains? And who is he that shall bring you to judgement if you tear off your garment yet leave it in no man's path? People of Orphalese, you can muffle the drum, and you can loosen the strings of the lyre, but who shall command the skylark not to sing? Kahlil Gibran

The Laws Of Magick
THE LAWS OF MAGICK This section contains 2 versions what could only be called the Laws of Magick. The first is by P.E.I. Bonewits, ; "Real Magic"; Creative Arts Book Company 1979. His URL is http://www.pagansonline.com/~bonewits/ As for the second version, I don't know who it is by, but if anyone can fill me in, I'll be happy to give credit. Law of Knowledge understanding brings control;the more that is known about a phenomenon, the easier it is to exercise controlover it. Law of Self Knowledge the most important kind of knowledge is about oneself; a magician must be familiar with her or his own strengths and weaknesses. Law of Names knowing the complete and true name of an object,being or process gives one control over it. Law of Words of Power there exist certain words that are able to alter the internal and external realities of those uttering them, and their power may rest in the very sounds of the words as much in their meanings. Law of Association if any tw

Laws Of Physics Warped On 9/11
Muslims Suspend Laws of Physics! Part I by J. McMichael jmcm5@lycos.com Some of the sources have departed since this essay was originally published on October 21, 2001. Where I could find substitutes I have indicated them with the word "or" and a reference to an alternative copy. This revision was published November 25, 2001. I tried to be patriotic. I tried to believe. I watched those quarter mile high buildings fall through their jaw-dropping catastrophes over and over again. I listened to the announcer and the experts explain what had happened. And I worked at my pitiful lack of faith, pounding my skull with the remote control and staring at the flickering images on the TV screen. But poor mental peasant that I am, I could not escape the teachings of my forefathers. I fear I am trapped in my time, walled off from further scientific understanding by my inability to abandon the Second Millennium mindset. But enough of myself. Let us move on to the Science

The 48 Laws Of Power
The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene and Joost Elffers Law 1 Never Outshine the Master Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. In your desire to please or impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite – inspire fear and insecurity. Make your masters appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power. Law 2 Never put too Much Trust in Friends, Learn how to use Enemies Be wary of friends-they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove. In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them. Law 3 Conceal your Intentions Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. If they have no clue what you are up to,

Laws To Live By
"He who apeals to the law is either a fool or a coward. He who Can not take care of himself with out that law is both. For a wounded man shall say to his assailant, "If I live, I will kill you, if I die, you are forgiven." --Such is the rule of honor." "peace is a lie, there is only passion.through passion, i gain strength.through strength, i gain power. through power, i gain victory. through victory, my chains are broken. the force shall free me." the Sith Code. "i 'd hate to advocate Drugs, Alchohol, or Insanity to anyone. but they've always worked for me." Hunter S. Thompson

Laws Of Stupid Attraction
im beginning to think that i attract stupid people, well in ireland anyway,. maybe peole are just stupid here. but i work in a supply store here and every day i get people returning items with some of the stupidist excuses ive ever heard, like my dog ate it, it wouldnt fit up my ass, oh i droped it and it broke, my wife thinks its ugly, my mistress bought me one already, my god its does weird, so im beginning to think i attract stupid people, is it just meor does anyone else have this problem?

The Law's An Ass
Well, it certainly is if you happen to be in the UK at the moment. If you aren't from the UK you might not have heard. The eminently incompetent politician (I know, that describes all of them) and British Home Secretary, John Reed MP, sent out a memo to all judges to tell them about the chronic overcrowding in the decrepit prisons and asking them to only sentence those who have committed serious violent crime or persistent criminals to jail time. Now that memo in itself raised plenty of comment in journalistic circles but what happened over the last two days has, hopefully, made the Home Secretary realise what a complete muppet he is. First a case featuring a man accused of downloading and having possession of child pornography; he was given a suspended sentence. Then today yet another paedophile was released, this time on bail. Now since the first man was only in court for downloading the filth, he may have gotten that sentence anyway, maybe. However in the second instance the jud

Laws Of Reality ;)
The laws of reality 1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee. 2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. 3. Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. 4. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal. 5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. 6. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time) 7. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. 8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. 9. Law of the

Laws Of Neuromuscular Therapy
Laws of NeuroMuscular Therapy The NeuroMuscular Therapist also operates under a system of laws known as Pfluger's Laws, which illustrate acute to chronic pain patterns and how pain is distributed throughout the body. The nervous system is designed to produce normal muscle tonus at 30 stimuli per second. If, due to trauma, the nervous system is suddenly innervating the damaged tissues at perhaps 75 stimuli per second, it must respond in a more creative homoeostatic way to distribute the pain. The first step, according to the Law of Unilaterality, states that "if a mild irritation is applied to one or more sensory nerves, the movement will take place usually on one side only and that side which is irritated." As an illustration, if I were involved in a motor vehicle accident, injure my left shoulder and decline treatment of any kind, then my left shoulder would probably be very tender within a matter of minutes. Assuming that I continue without treatment and to ease the pain, drink s

Laws
I'm generally a law-abiding type. I admit it. OK, I speed (generally 15 mph over the speed limit), but not because I enjoy breaking the law. I'm just impatient. Generally, I push my speeding to the edge of what might be termed "acceptable speeding" but not further. Sitting at a stoplight with a No Right on Red sign in the middle of the night, when there's no traffic, always causes me agony. Do I comply with the (stupid at that hour) law and wait patiently the three minutes it takes for the stupid light to change, or do I do the illegal thing and turn? Typically I wait. But, as with speeding, it's not because I feel I have to adhere to the law (i.e. No Right Turn, or speed limits). It's more that I'm scared of getting caught if I violate the law. As it turns out, I don't always follow laws because I believe in those laws. I believe in the concept of a speed limit, but somehow feel it doesn't really apply to me. Do I always speed 15 mph over the speed limit? Well, no. I

The 12 Laws Of Karma
THE 12 LAWS OF KARMA THE GREAT LAW As you sow, so shall you reap. This is also known as the Law of Cause and Effect. Whatever we put out in the Universe is what comes back to us. If what we want is Happiness, Peace, Friendship, Love... Then we should BE Happy, Peaceful, Loving, a Friend. THE LAW OF CREATION Life doesn't just HAPPEN, it requires our participation. We are one with the Universe both inside and out. Whatever surrounds us gives us clues to our inner state. BE and DO yourself... what you what to have in your Life. THE LAW OF HUMILITY What you refuse to accept, will continue for you. If what we see is an enemy, or someone with a character trait that we find to be negative, then we ourselves are not focused on a higher level of existence. THE LAW OF GROWTH Wherever you go, there you are. For us to GROW in Spirit it is we who must change and not the people, places or things around us. The only given we have in our lives is OURSELVES and that i

Laws Of Man
Man's Law (about 30 of them) 1. Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers. 2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. 3. It is OK for a man to cry under the following circumstances: a. When a heroic dog dies to save it's master b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse c. After wrecking your boss' Ferrari d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into The Crying Game e. When your Date is using her teeth 4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours. 5. Acceptable excuse for not helping a friend move: a. Your legs have been severed in a freak threshing machine accident. 6. Acceptable excuse for not helping a friend of a friend move: a. You'd rather stay home and watch swamp buggy reruns. 7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her. 8. The minimum amount of time y

Laws Of Attraction
Ok…I was thinking about what makes the community have so much drama or even so much illness. Well I think I have found the key to prevent the issue and this is up to the individual to listen and learn…Now, I can talk till I am blue in the face, but that isn't going to make the difference of a change. The change must come from each and every person. We are the only ones that can make our future or change it. For example, you have a leader in the community that always seems to have drama fallow him or her and that person may not do anything to cause the actual drama, but it was who he or she hung out with "Inner Circle" Or two the person just seemed to attract it, kind of like a forum of feeding. What do we call it…? "The Law of Attraction" What is the law of attraction? Simply put, the law of attraction states that "Like attracts like." What this universal law tells you about your own life is that the thoughts you think, feelings you feel, words you say, and actions