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Saturdayfigured why not , So here is my first attempt at blogging.
A relaxing day , free of work and aggravation , enjoying the beautiful weather here
My PageDo u like my page? What would u change on it?
An Ode To My Fellow "ambulance Drivers"I'm not sure who wrote this, but....it's freakin' hilarious and SO true!!!!!
Recently I was on the ambulance and we made a call, and I heard a lady tell the person she was on the phone with "OKAY I AM GOING NOW, THE AMBULANCE DRIVERS ARE HERE."
STOP. For those of you who work in EMS or have anything to do with EMS, you are going to appreciate this. For those of you who call "EMT's and Paramedics" "AMBULANCE DRIVERS" please read this carefully and completely. Now I was hoping this was going to be short and sweet, then as I was driving, I kept thinking more and more what to put. So if you have to read this in parts, I want you , if you have made it this far, to completely read this post. Please do not notice my grammar errors, as I can assure you, there will be many.
The whole idea of this post was to make people think of what "AMBULANCE DRIVERS" really are and do.
1). AMBULANCE DRIVER = An EMT, EMT-I, or Paramedic. Right... What is that all about? EMT is EMERGENCY MEDICAL TE
The PondAN ELDERLY MAN IN NORTH CAROLINA HAD OWNED A LARGE FARM FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HE HAD A LARGE POND IN THE BACK, FIXED UP REALLY NICE, ALONG WITH SOME PICNIC TABLES, HORSESHOE COURTS, AND SOME APPLE AND PEACH TREES. THE POND WAS PROPERLY SHAPED AND FIXED UP FOR SWIMMING WHEN IT WAS BUILT. ONE EVENING THE OLD FARMER DECIDED TO GO DOWN TO THE POND, AS HE HADN'T BEEN THERE FOR AWHILE, AND LOOK IT OVER. HE GRABBED A FIVE GALLON BUCKET TO BRING BACK SOME FRUIT. AS HE NEARED THE POND, HE HEARD VOICES SHOUTING AND LAUGHING WITH GLEE. WHEN HE CAME CLOSER, HE REALIZED IT WAS A BUNCH OF YOUNG WOMEN SKINNY-DIPPING IN HIS POND. HE MADE THE WOMEN AWARE OF HIS PRESENCE AND THEY ALL WENT TO TEH DEEP END TO SHIELD THEMSELVES. ONE OF THE WOMEN SHOUTED TO HIM, "WE'RE NOT COMING OUT UNTIL YOU LEAVE!" THE OLD MAN FROWNED AND REPLIED, "I DIDN'T COME DOWN HERE TO WATCH YOU LADIES SWIM NAKED OR MAKE YOU GET OUT OF THE POND NAKED." HOLDING THE BUCKET UP HE SAID, "I'M HERE TO FEED THE ALLIGATOR."
MO
Better Then Paying The InsuranceThe car edged forward and then it edged forward again. Too close, the man thought. It was too close.
There was nowhere he could go. The traffic was too heavy. He had to stay where he was and still the car came even closer.
It was inevitable. The bumper of the car hit the wheel of the motorcycle. For a moment, the bike stayed upright, wedged as it was under the bumper of the car and then it began to fall.
The rider jumped clear as the bike came down and then he was looking back at the car that had hit him. He jerked at the straps of his helmet and then he pulled his gloves off. He was pissed and he was going to let the driver of the car know just how pissed he was. There was no excuse for driving that recklessly.
But then the driver of the car came out and suddenly, he had other ideas.
"I'm sorry," the girl said. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
The man stuffed his gloves inside his helmet. "Didn't you see me," he asked.
"I'm so sorry," the girl said. "I thought you'd go
SeriouslyOK, I am at and end... end of what i am not sure. I am empty and alone... i am falling apart. I had hoped (past tense) life would show me that proverbial "light and the end of the tunnel" but am now certain, as certain as any person can be certain about anything, that there is no end to the tunnel.... this just hurts to much, for to long now...
Poemworries and temptaion, thoughts but no ambition; walking alone at nightfall, waiting on a false sence of euphoria...alone.
calling to the morning sun-beckoning its arrivial. afraid i wont make it till daybreak...learning to not give up, enjoying my survival.
awake and crying, aware-but not trying. take this part of me away from its clutch. dont decive me yet again-even tho to you...im not meaning much.
"the best is yet to come" i utter with a frown. seems no matter what i try i stumble to the ground.
try as i may, and hurt as i might-nothing is worth this-i'm done with this fight.
so hate me more today, break my strength tomorrow, let me suffer a little more, and drown in tears of sorrow.
*~rebecca gardner~*
Coffee Houseunaware of whats going on, people around, unseen lies. old foes, old friends, new alibies.
screaming, screetching, it consumes the room. fighting, laughing, the band plays soon.
making scenes, in highschool stil, waking up from nightmares, reborn thru thier very dreams.
unidentifiable, no name, no face. new to thier way of life, new to this place.
trying hard to find thier "nook", trying despratly to fit in. going on with life, not sure what ther're feling within.
observing straight facces, fake smiles, white lies. moving forward, so we think, falling backwards, breaking our ties.
impossiable to understand it, no one can repremand us.
i stand alone in a crowded room, away from the faces, the unfamilliar places. alone in this room, but arent we all? waking up from dreamscapes...in a building full of big futures, but right now, life is so small...
*~rebecca gardner~*
August 28,2006
Great Advice About Men..!!!!!!1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
13. If he asks wh
RelationshipsWhy is it so hard to find a man that i can have fun with inside and outside the bedroom.
Just curious is better to go with out or have bad sex???
Rollin' Over[intro]
Rolin' over, Hell muthafuckin' yeah bitch. Hatchet chop straight to your muthafuckin' face. Rollin'
over. I look up ther's still so far to go? Wicked clowns got that real shit. What up though.
[verse 1]
I come floatin' in this bitch with some wings like a pegesies, got a shiny ass V on my cheast wut up
i'm Violent j the clown, I'm goofy for a second, but when your bitch headless i'm on top of her
necket. Yo know my status, I'm juggalatis, and we the baddest here to sever your melon it's wicked
shit that we sellin' we off the track now give your bitch ass a bitch slap now nobody never steppin
down we bout to enter second round. Running backwards on the walls shaggy 2 dope in this muthafucka.
You talkin through your but cause silence is for suckers. So i'm out there throughout the year i'm
right here don't stare like a bitch bitch buy me a beer nobody wicked like me i do this terrifically
and my mutahfuckin pimp slap will knock down a tree so clown love bitch, I seen
LomasIs Nico living today?
Yes. She calls herself Lomas (maybe a short for Life On Mars)
She is always overfriendly and seems to have a need for control. You get a feeling that she is afraid of not being wanted, but it has a totally different explanation.
Every step she does is done with the knowledge of what she has done, at the same time she fights that feeling back.
That is how people are when they fight for a lie and wins.
Like a overfriendly guest you've brought to bed?
No, absolutely not Jim.
What is Nico's main theory?
That she can get to bed with Brian Jones if she sleeps with all his friends (this is not possible, Hendrix died years ago) and that she will make good music once she has infiltrated the music business totally (as we seen that is not true either, music dropped drastic in quality once Brian died).
The theory springs from the suggestion that Alan Delon is nearly/almost the father of her child.
Seen in the view of eternity this might maybe come true.
Need A Ride?It was a cloudy Saturday morning and I was doing my normal shopping and running errands. I decided to stop for some lunch before finishing the rounds. As I sat there waiting for my food, he walked in. I had to look twice, for it had been years since I seen him. He was alone, so I took a chance and whispered his name as he passed my table. He looked back and, to my amazement, remembered me with one look.
I invited him to join me for lunch and he sat across from me. We talked about what we had been doing the last ten years and remembered some old times, too. Our lunch arrived and we continued to talk. I took a deep breath to remind my body of his smell. There was this spark in his eye that I only recall seeing a few times in the past.
As we finished our lunch, I excused myself to the ladies room. My panties were so wet at this point I decided just to take them off. I couldn't stop thinking about some of the things we used to do, and the things I would like for us to do. After a few
If We Could....This is the "If We Could Fuck..." Test...Re-posts this as If We Could Fuck Test.... You will be surprised on all the results you get...Put the [X] which best suits ur answer....or all that apply...() mean explain
1.Where Would We Be?
[ ]My House
[ ]Ur House
[ ]Pool
[ ]Shower
[ ]Parents Room LOL
[ ]OTHER....Please Explain ()
2.What Position?
[ ]Doggy Style
[ ]Missionary
[ ]69
[ ]OTHER...()
3.What Would You Use??
[ ]Chains And Whips
[ ]Choc. Syrup And Whip Cream
[ ]Strawberries And Whip Cream
[ ]Cherries And Chocolate
[ ]Ropes And Handcuffs
[ ]OTHER...()
4.Lights?
[ ]On
[ ]Off
5.Where Would You Take Me For A Date Before All Of This?
()PLEASE EXPLAIN
6.Would U Go Downtown?
[ ]Yes
[ ]No
7.Would U Want Me To?
[ ]Yes
[ ]No
8.Protection?
[ ]
Yes
[ ]No
9.Day Or Night?
[ ]Day
[ ]Night
10.What Song Would We Fuck To?
( )PLEASE EXPLAIN......
11.Top Or Bottom
[ ]Top
[ ]Bottom
12.
[ ]Norm
You...You can always make me smile
No matter what mood I'm in
I guess it's been a while
Since I've let someone make me grin
But you understand me
There's a connection there
Not something you see
It just makes us aware
However we don't make sense
We should be more than friends
But that's not how we are; hence
This is how the story ends
HypocrisyHypocrisy
A way of life
Simple truth
In a lie
The very definition
Of everything
Explanation
Campaign Level 3This is to certify that
Nyagwai Limpingbear
in taking positive environmental action around the world, is now a
Level 3 Campaigner
I've been busy!!!
Pretty VacantTheres no point in asking us youll get no reply
Oh just remenber a dont decide
I got no reason its all too much
Youll always find us
Out to lunch !
Oh were so pretty oh so pretty vacant
But now and we dont care
Dont ask us to attend cos were not all there
Oh dont pretend cos I dont care
I dont believe illusions cos too much is real
So stop your cheap comment
Cos we know what we feel
Were pretty pretty vacant
Were pretty pretty vay-cunt
And we dont care
SexThere is nothing wrong with a healthy sexual appetite in a young man or woman.
Just as long as you play it safe!
Waitingto meet you in the dark
to undress you lovingly
to sear hot kisses onto your skin
to have your scent fill my head
to let my lips and tongue taste you
to feel your body awakening to my touches
to slip my hand around your cock
to have my mouth follow in pursuit
to make the anticipation end
to hear you go breathless as I suck you for the first time
to hear your delicious moans as i tongue your head
to feel your desire as you entwine your hands deeply in my hair
to obey your command as you urge me to take you deeper
to sink my greedy hot mouth down onto your shaft
to move in rhythm up...down...deeply...harder...faster....more...
to feel your cock throbbing as you fuck my teasing mouth
to feel your uncontrollable explosion
to savor your taste in my mouth
to swallow your essence
to have a part of you inside of me
your finally here
i'm waiting no more
i cannot wait until tonight
kissssss
Vicious RealityThe killer sun rises in the sky;
That light that seperates you and I.
The air blows with a chilly wind-
I would give anything to feel it again
As I strolls down the streets and think
Of how I am on the brink
Of madness.
And as I watch the Moon Goddess fall,
My mind remembers them, each and all.
I lay within the shelter of my tomb,
Saftley hidden from dusk's evil doom,
I reflect on the events of the night,
Convincing myself again that killing is right-
For a savage.
Alone again in the darkness- empty and hollow;
Damnation- a bitter pill to swallow.
The walls whisper memories of the first night,
And salty red tears cloud my perfect sight
As I settle into slumber in a lucid haze;
My hardened heart locked in an eternal daze
Of sadness.
On Our BedYou were sitting in your king's chair relaxed and drinking your coffee. You were watching me lay on the bed as we talked a few minutes ago, but as your hard on started to grow, you decided you wanted to see my ass and pussy. You told me to get up and stand on the bed and then take my panties down. You wanted me to bend and show you what belonged to you.
I slid my panties down slowly, pushing my hands down my thighs in a seductive way as I assumed this position of your request. My cheeks were pink with embarrassment that I was showing you me in this very vulnerable way, even though I was hot and loving this thrill of exposing my most private parts to you. You sat there so calmly feeding your caffeine fix, as I bent all the way down looking at you from around the side of my leg. I knew that you could see all...my tight asshole and pussy shaved smooth.
I heard your sigh, and watched as you unzipped your trousers and pushed your hand inside deep. You commanded me to spread my legs a
The Man On The MountainImagine this:
Three persons are sitting round a fire.
One is a genious, the other concidered one and the third is a skilled guitarplayer.
The first has written a song. It is his way to say goodbye to the others and they start to sing.
"I'm the man on the mountain, come on up.
I'm the plowman in the valley with a face full of mud.
Yes, I'm fumbling and I know my car dont start.
Yes, I'm stumbling and I know I play a bad guitar."
Suddenly a person is running out from the woods. He seems desperate.
He start to yell.
"Give me little drink from your loving cup.
Just one drink and I'll fall down drunk."
The others give him a glass of white wine and continue singing.
"I'm the man who walks the hillside in the sweet summer sun.
I'm the man that brings you roses when you ain't got none.
Well I can run and jump and fish, but I won't fight
You if you want to push and pull with me all night."
The uninvited guest is still standing there. He does not seem satisfied.
The Pretty GorillaWhat lies under Nicos story?
Under her story lies death.
She lost her father during world war 2.
Alan Delon was a fatherfigure.
But he was never there.
Nico knew Delon was not the father of her child.
She made a fake lifestory.
By living between the two possibilites (Delon and his lookalike) her history is covered up.
By going for Dylan in 1964 the confusion of her story was total.
Brian Jones was the only person who could fully understand her problem, he was therefore the only threat to her life. His first girlfriend had lied about him being the father of her child. It had been this that made him start his group. Brian was the real creator of the 60's.
The moment she met him in early 1965 his fate was sealed.
By hiding Brian Jones away from our history so is ours.
Girls PoemI shave my legs,
I sit down to pee.
And I can justify
any shopping spree.
Don't go to a barber,
but a beauty salon.
I can get a massage
without a hard-on.
I can balance the
checkbook;
I can pump my own gas.
Can talk to my friends,
about the size of my ass.
My beauty's a masterpiece,
and yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit,
to others when I'm wrong.
I don't drive in circles,
at any cost.
And I don't have a problem,
admitting I'm
lost.
I never forget,
an important date.
You just got to deal with it,
I'm usually late.
I don't watch movies,
with lots of gore.
Don't need instant replay,
to remember the score.
I won't lose my hair,
I don't get jock itch.
And just because I'm assertive,
dont call me a bitch.
Don't say to your friends,
Oh yeah, I can get her.
In your dreams, my dear,
I can do better!
Flowers are okay,
but jewelry's best.
Look at me you idiot...
Not at my chest????
I don
Hellojust wanted to say hello to all my cherry budies ,salute
My First Blog.. Nothing Special.Okay, so I finally got on here and updated my page. I don't know if its worth reading, but I'm me and that will not change. I do not change for anyone and do not expect others to change for me.
I am willing to communicate with anyone who would like to talk. I do not, however, associate with those who only like talking about sex, drugs, or anything else that I would rather not associate myself with. I'm not a goodie goodie, but I'm not a nympho or a druggie either. Thanks.
As I have stated, I am somewhat new to this website, which means I have not yet been rated. Sooo, get to rating people! =P
Later.
--Amanda--
Tuesday Links: Rock Scream Tuesday, Traveling Virus This Weekend, New O&a Video, What The Hell Is That, Norton In Chicago, New Videos OnlineLISTEN TO TODAY'S SHOW ON AUDIBLE (link usually active by 3pm EST)
Good morning, kids! Have yourself a hot beverage, warm up your vocal cords, watch Mr. Gim Gillette, and put on your best concert T-shirt, because it's Rock Scream Tuesday on the Opie and Anthony Show! Call in to the show (866-212-5762) and do your best Metal God impression. It's also Hummer Tuesday, so ladies... if you feel so inclined, hit your knees and give your fella a wonderful hummer.
Speaking of hummers, if you're lucky, you might see a girl giving one to her fella on Paltalk. Obviously, we promote them because you can see the Opie and Anthony Show live every day, but the more we tune in the more we see all kinds of pervy shit going on. Hell, we see women showering, women getting dressed, women sleeping nude, and much much more. Fire up yer Paltalk and check out the Opie and Anthony LIVE room now!
Thanks to Sam we have a new O&A Show video online. This one features the return of intern Jared and the infamou
Well Another Day It IsHey all.. well its another day again. Well yesterday sure sucked. I just could not get motivated at all at work and really got nothing done all day. I guess that I have been a bit down latly and not really in all that great of a mood.
Had a date on sunday night and went and saw the new Harry Potter movie. It was pretty good, not to bad at all. That date did not end well although so that kind of ticked me off. oh well thats life.
The back yard project is coming along. We did not finsih on sunday like I had hoped. Did you know that it takes a LOT of bags of concrete to make a fairly small pad. We need almost 80 bags of #80 pound bags to do the job. We only got 30 and got a little less then half of it done. I will post a few pics of the work so far.
I have a question for those who read these and there are a few just not many. What would you like to to write about? come on and leave me a comment and let me know what you want to hear about in my life?
Washing Clothes RecipeWashing Clothes Recipe (Given a Young Bride By
> Her Grandmother)
>
>
>
> Never thought of a washer in this light
> before..what a blessing!
>
>
>
> ' Washing Clothes Recipe' -- imagine having a
> recipe for this ! ! ! Years ago an Alabama
> grandmother gave the new bride the following recipe:
>
>
>
>
> This is an exact copy as written and found in
> an old scrapbook - with spelling errors and all.
>
>
>
>
> WASHING CLOTHES
>
>
! >
> Build fire in backyard to heat kettle of rain
> water. Set tubs so smoke wont blow in eyes if wind
> is pert. Shave one hole cake of lie soap in boilin
> water.
>
>
>
> Sort things, make 3 piles
> 1 pile white,
> 1 pile colored,
> 1 pile work britches and rags.
>
>
>
> To make starch, stir flour in cool water to
> smooth, then thin down with boiling water.
>
>
>
> Take white things, rub dirty spots on board,
> scrub hard, and boil, then rub colored don't boil
> just wrench
Grandma's CuresGRANDMA'S CURES
Did You Know that Drinking two glasses of Gatorade can
relieve
headache pain almost immediately -- without the
unpleasant side effects
caused by traditional "pain relievers."
Did you know that Colgate toothpaste makes an
excellent salve
for burns.
Before you head to the drugstore for a high-priced
inhaler
filled with mysterious chemicals, try chewing on a
couple of curiously
strong Altoids peppermints. They'll clear up your
stuffed nose.
Achy muscles from a bout of the flu? Mix 1 Tablesthingy
of
horseradish in 1cup of olive oil. Let the mixture sit
for 30 minutes, then
apply it as a massage oil, for instant relief for
aching muscles.
Sore throat? Just mix 1/4 cup of vinegar with 1/4 cup
of honey
and take 1 tablesthingy six times a day. The vinegar
kills the bacteria.
Cure urinary tract infections with Alka-Seltzer. Just
dissolve
two tablets in a glass of water and drink it at the
onset of the
symptoms. Alka-Seltzer b
Vodka Isnt For Just Drinking Anymore1. To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka. The
solvent dissolves the adhesive.
2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a trigger-spray
bottle with vodka, spray the caulking, let set five minutes and wash clean.
The alcohol in the vodka kills mold and mildew.
3. To clean your eyeglasses, simply wipe the lenses with a soft, clean cloth
dampened with vodka. The alcohol in the vodka cleans the glass and kills
germs.
4. Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka and letting your
safety razor blade soak in the alcohol after shaving. The vodka disinfects
the blade and prevents rusting.
5. Spray vodka on vomit stains, scrub with a brush, then blot dry.
6. Using a cotton ball, apply vodka to your face as an astringent to cleanse
the skin and tighten pores.
7. Add a jigger of vodka to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo. The alcohol
cleanses the scalp, removes toxins from hair, and stimul
New To ThisHowdy yall I'm new to this whole CherryTab thing lol. So everyone bare with me on me getting to their pages and rating them as well as becoming friends with alot of yall. I love making friends so if you come cross my page then add me as a friend. Well everyone take care..
Read AloneRead
Alone.....
Especially the Poem!
I believe whatever is in store for us will be for us.
The poem is very true, unfortunately.
Make sure you read the poem!
CASE 1: Kelly Sedey had one wish, for her boyfriend of three years, David Marsden, to propose to her. Then one day when she was out to lunch David proposed! She accepted, but then had to leave because she had a meeting in 20 min. When she got to her office, she noticed on her computer she had some e-mail's. She checked it, the usual stuff from her friends, but then she saw one that she had never gotten before. It was this poem. She simply deleted it without even reading all of it. BIG MISTAKE! Later that evening, she received a phone call from the police. It was about DAVID! He had been in an accident with an 18 wheeler. He didn't survive!
CASE 2: Take Katie Robinson She received this poem and being the believer that she was she sent it to a few of her friends but didn't have enough e-mai
Truth Or DareTruth or dare
Body: TRUTH OR DARE
7 questions.
7 chances.
7 honest answers.
Thats all you get.
You get to ask me 7 questions.
(Private Message Me) Any 7 questions,
anything, no matter how crazy
they are.
And I promise to answer them truthfully.
No catch.
But I dare you to repost
this and see what people ask you...
Bet you won't do it... :]
I Do What I Want!!Im so ready to go out this weekend. I dont know where to go....Seymore, Austin, Scottsburg, Louisville...lol Its time to dance, karaoke and skinny dip...If you see me and Im having to much fun, dont stop me just try and keep up...lol
What Your Name MeansYou entered: EVIS MARIE (LUCAS) BUCHANAN
There are 22 letters in your name.
Those 22 letters total to 86
There are 10 vowels and 12 consonants in your name.
Your number is: 5
The characteristics of #5 are: Expansiveness, visionary, adventure, the constructive use of freedom.
The expression or destiny for #5:
The number 5 Expression endows with the wonderful characteristic of multi-talents and versatility. You can do so many things well. The tone of the number 5 is constructive freedom, and in your drive to attain this freedom, you will likely be the master of adaptability and change. You are good at presenting ideas and knowing how to approach people to get what you want. Naturally, this gives you an edge in any sort of selling game and spells easy success when it comes to working with people in most jobs. Your popularity may lead you toward some form of entertainment or amusement. Whatever you do, you are clever, analytical, and a very quick thinker.
If there is too mu
AfraidI am afraid to show you what i look like.
I hide behind the shadows.so you won't be laughing at me.
Am crying for someone to hold me and tells me they love me.
Yes im BloodAngel,
I'm afraid you going run away like the others.
I'm afraid you gonna make me feel worthless.
I want to be hidden forever in here
I feel safe and no harm is done to me.
What you going to do Lestat?
I need to feel beautiful and wanted...But i don't.
(this is something i came up with...lol
I hope you like it.)
I have more and gonna try and put them on.)
The Cornerstone SpeechThe Cornerstone Speech was delivered extemporaneously by Vice President Alexander H. Stephens, and no official printed version exists. The text below was taken from a newspaper article in the Savannah Republican, as reprinted in Henry Cleveland, Alexander H. Stephens, in Public and Private: With Letters and Speeches, before, during, and since the War, Philadelphia, 1886, pp. 717-729.
I am indebted to Justin Sanders and Ed Frank for sending me photocopies of the speech from the Encyclopedia of the Confederacy, and to Joe Hartley for scanning it in.
====================
At half past seven o'clock on Thursday evening, the largest audience ever assembled at the Athenaeum was in the house, waiting most impatiently for the appearance of the orator of the evening, Hon. A. H. Stephens, Vice- President of the Confederate States of America. The committee, with invited guests, were seated on the stage, when, at the appointed hour, the Hon. C. C. Jones, Mayor, and the speaker, entered,
Speech To The State Legislature Of MississippiJefferson Davis
December 26, 1862
Printer-Friendly Version
Friends and Fellow-Citizens, Gentlemen of the House of Representatives and Senate of the State of Mississippi:
You have been involved in a war waged for the gratification of the lust of power and aggrandizement, for your conquest and your subjugation, with a malignant ferocity, and with a disregard and a contempt of the usages of civilisation, entirely unequalled in history. Such, I have ever wamed you, were the characteristics of the Northern people—of those with whom our ancestors entered into a Union of consent, and with whom they formed a constitutional compact.… After what has happened during the last two years, my only wonder is, that we consented to live for so long a time in association with such miscreants, and have loved so much a Government rotten to the core.…
You in Mississippi have but little experienced as yet the horrors of the war. You have seen but little of the savage manner in which it is waged by
Wednesday Links: Whip 'em Out Wednesday, Boobies On Paltalk, Rich Vos, New O&a Video, Traveling Virus This Weekend, New Videos Online, What The HeHappy Whip 'em Out Wednesday Ladies of Paltalk, and thank you for the early morning boobies! (log in and check out the 'Opie and Anthony LIVE' room to see them now!)
LISTEN TO TODAY'S SHOW ON AUDIBLE (link usually active by 3pm EST)
It's hot as hell in the New York area, and it's PERFECT BOSOM WEATHER! If you want to get WOWed, you might need to get your hands on a WOW STICKER. There's a few ways to go about it:
1. GO TO THIS LINK FILL OUT THE FORM, AND WE WILL MAIL YOU ONE.
2. Send a self-addressed, stamped envelope (NOT A SMALL ONE, DUMMIES) to:
The Opie and Anthony Show
WOW Sticker Requests
111 West 57th Street
Suite 500
New York, NY 10019
3. Get yourself an OFFICIAL WOW T-SHIRT!. They come in all sizes, so no matter how much pizza, pasta, and cheesesteaks you like to eat, you can get one that fits you. CLICK HERE AND GET A SHIRT...DAG NABBIT... and then eat some beef and cheese.
Speaking of shirts...
(Check out what Carmen is wearing!)
The l
Magic With A "k"Why do you spell magic with a k?
Aleister Crowley is the one responsible for adding the word "magick" to the occult vocabulary. He wished to separate "real magic" from stage magic and also gave reasons being the mystical significance of the numbers.
Many Wiccans aren't really familiar with Crowley or his numerology, and tend to use the spelling because it looks cool. Or, the reason Crowley first did it, to separate real magic from stage magic, which is a little silly. Like there are no other words that are spelled the same but have different meanings? Not that Im picking on people who use it, I use both magic and magick depending on my mood.
Altar Tool BasicsFirst and most importantly you do not NEED any of these things. Magick comes from within and the tools are only a guide for you use to focus your energy and power. There are so many tools and items, it can be a bit overwhelming to know which is which and what you need. Tools can be purchased or made, whichever works better for you. All tools as they are collected, should be cleansed of all negative energies and past use influences. Unless you purchase them brand new you won't know how or for what they may have been used before you acquired them.
Athame
The correct pronunciation is ATH-amay, not A-THAME. The athame is a ritual knife or dagger. Traditionally it is double-edged blade with a black handle. The athame is a tool of command, used to direct the power we pass through it. The knife is never used to cut anything physical. It is used to cast circles, charge and consecrate objects and to banish negative energies. It's symbolic only and many suggest you dull the blade to preven
The Pentagram Or PentacleThe Pentagram or Pentacle as called by some, is commonly the most famous symbol of Witchcraft, and is symbolic of the power of Spirit as the overriding power controlling elements.
One of the frequent confusions regarding Wicca concerns our use of the pentagram, which is thought of by some as a Satanic symbol. The Pentagram has been employed by a variety of cultures for thousands of years to represent numerous different things. Christianity, in fact, employed it for considerable time to represent the five wounds of Christ. To assign it so absolutely to a single group is illogical.
Many religions hold one symbol above all others to represent the religion. For Jews it is the star of David, for Christians it is the cross, for Wiccans it is the pentagram.
The pentagram has existed for thousands of years through a variety of cultures. It has had numerous meanings, but mostly it has been a symbol of protection and invocation.
The pentagram symbolizes the union of the five basic
The Witches' CreedThe Witches' Creed
By Doreen Valiente, 1978 Witchcraft for Tomorrow
This can be confused with the Wiccan Rede.
The two are separate documents, although they both have similar intentions.
I personally find the Creed to be much more effective and certainly more poetic.
Hear now the words of the witches,
The secrets we hid in the night,
When dark was our destiny’s pathway,
That now we bring forth into the light.
Mysterious water and fire,
The earth and the wide-ranging air.
By hidden quintessence we know them,
And will and keep silent and dare.
The birth and rebirth of all nature,
The passing of winter and spring,
We share with the life universal,
Rejoice in the magickal ring.
Four times in the year the Great Sabbat Returns,
And the witches are seen,
At Lammas and Candlemas dancing,
On May Even and old Hallowe’en.
When day-time and night-time are equal,
When sun is at greatest and least,
The four Lesser Sabbats are summoned,
Agai
Threefold LawThe Three-Fold Law is the belief and principle on which magic is used.
This law relates to the use of power and energy. When used, power is returned to the sender at three times the level it was sent out.
The most commonly used comparison is that of "The Golden Rule". Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.
You put out nastiness and nastiness will surely return to you.
Charge Of The GoddessCharge of the Goddess
written by Doreen Valiente
Listen to the words of the Great Mother,
who of all was called Artemis, Isis,
Astarte, Diana, Hecate,
Demeter, Kali, Inanna, Aphrodite, Cerridwen,
Arianrhod, Brigid and by many other names.
Whenever ye have need of anything,
once in the month and better it be when the moon is full,
then shall ye assemble in some secret place,
and adore the spirit of me,
who am Queen of all Witches.
There shall ye assemble,
ye who are fain to learn all sorcery,
yet have not won its deepest secrets;
to these will I teach all things that are as yet unknown.
And ye shall be free from slavery;
and as a sign that ye be truly free,
you shall be naked in your rites;
and ye shall dance, sing, feast, make music and love,
all in my praise.
For mine is the ecstasy of the spirit,
and mine also is joy on earth;
for my law is love unto all beings.
Keep pure your highest ideals;
strive ever towards them,
In Loving Memory Of My Old Dog Alex :)Knew a man Bojangles
And he'd dance for you
In worn out shoes
With silver hair a ragged shirt
And baggy pants
He would do the old soft shoe
He would jump so high
Jump so high
Then he lightly touch down
He told me of the time he worked with
Minstrel shows travelling
Throughout the south
He spoke with tears of fifteen years
How his dog and he
They would travel about.
But his dog up and died
He up and died
And after twenty years he still grieved
He said "I dance now
At every chance in the Honky Tonks
For my drinks and tips
But most the time I spend
Behind these country bars
You see on I drinks a bit"
Then he shook his head
Oh lord when he shook his head
I could swear I heard someone say please
Mister Bojangles
Call him Mister Bojangles
Mister Bojangles come back and dance please
Come back and dance again Mr Bojangles
Thank You SoldierThank You Soldier
Have you stopped to thank a veteran today?
For the price of freedom they had to pay?
Did you gaze into those distant eyes?
Did you see the ghosts he can't deny?
Did you think a soldier's heart was made of steel?
Because he was trained to kill, he couldn't feel?
Did you see the guilt written on his face,
For the loss of life he can't replace?
Did you know he mourns the lives he couldn't save,
And walks with comrades in their grave?
Did you remember the boy with innocence lost?
Do you really know war's ultimate cost?
Have you felt the blast of artillery fire?
Do you have the courage it would require?
Have you stood in trenches consumed with fear?
Felt the enemies breath so very near?
Have you walked with God on a battleground?
Seen your brothers dead or dying all around?
Have you stopped to thank a vet today,
Or did you just turn and walk away?
From the pain he'll carry for the rest
In My DreamsIN MY DREAMS
In my dreams
Reality shapes itself
From the flowing contours
Of my mind.
In my dreams,
Kaleidoscope people shift with
Every turn.
In my dreams,
Longings are fulfilled I wasn't
Aware of;
How cruel, then,
To awake.
Friends ForeverWhen we first met you were annoying.
Who knew we would become the bestest of friends.
Talking on the phone. Chatting on the net.
Every minute thanking God that we met.
My heart grew for you. It begged.
It pleaded for your love, not knowing how to tell you.
Two years later we met in person.
My heart leaped for joy.
For the life of me I couldn't remember my name.
I totally forgot how to speak.
I sat there and watched your every move.
My heart melting with every smile.
"Do you believe in love at first sight?" you asked
"I don't believe in love," I lied
When I had to leave my heart fell to the floor.
Why did I have to leave so soon?
Friends Forever
So I could return later that year.
To see your smiling face and maybe express what I feel.
The truth is I do believe in love.
I believed in it the moment I saw you.
Now as you read this poem you probably have mixed feelings.
Not only did I write this to say I love you
But to thank you.
Love On The InternetLove On The Internet
Though I wasn't looking for anyone new,
One day I got e- mail and in it was you.
Charming, sensitive and so debonair,
I strongly resisted it go anywhere.
But letters and stories captured my heart,
Filled me with passion almost from the start.
Love on the Internet, how could it be?
These things just don't happen to people like me.
But doves and butterflies flew into our lives,
Carrying messages we could not deny.
Each person has meaning and love to express,
And we could deny our hearts nothing less.
It's a beautiful love that has grown between us,
Something beyond any words we discuss.
Much deeper than LOL, cyber kisses and such,
Far down to our souls, beyond human touch.
My love's not confined by what it can see,
I feel you, I taste you, I experience your dream.
Close my eyes, and I envision what in my heart I can hear,
"Love knows no boundaries, no distance, no fear."
It's the soul that captures God's love in a way
That eternally
Thinking Of YouThinking Of You
I sit here quietly and watch the sun set
Thinking of someone that I've never met
I wonder does she think of me too
Needless to say I am thinking of you
Wanting to hold you, to see your face
To take you away to a better place
You feel so right, too good to be true
I just can't stop thinking of you
My friends say that I might regret
Losing my heart to a guy I've not met
I say there is nothing I can do
I cannot help thinking of you
I believe you were made special for me
But wonder if that could possibly be
I'm tired of being so alone and blue
But I always smile when thinking of you
Everythingu know its funny how every one sits here and acts like your friend just to get stuff out of you...and yet.. you trust them with every heart filled word that comes out of your mouth. then the next is pissed becuz they think your the one that told the person that your talking about.. every thing they said... and you get called a fat ass bitch that needs a life..yet i olny disagreed with the damn woman...and shes prego maybe thats why shes a bitch? i feel so much better geting that out
This Is Really BeautifulJust copy the link into your browser...This is really awesome! Please send this to those you love and care about including the one who sent it to you. If you care.
http://www.passionup.com/fun/fun4528.htm?e=louiseungro@hotmail..com&f=froggiemad1@cox.net&h=bb08c6204ace9eec&mp=1&confirm=1
Why It's Important To Understand EnglishWhy it's important to understand English
I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to
the currency exchange window at the local bank. Short line.
Just one guy in front of me . . . an Asian guy who was trying to exchange
yen for dollars and he was a little irritated . ..
He asked the teller, "Why it change?? Yestoday, I get two hunat dolla fo
yen. Today I get hunat eighty?? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations".
The Asian guy says, "Fluc you white people, too!"
Tough Day TodayWell it was a bit of tough day today. I had an all day long meeting that was just the most boring meeting that I have been in a long time. along with that I have been having trouble sleeping and have been staying up all hours into the night. This cannot be good with having so much work to do. To top that off.. breakfest meeting tomarrow.. But the good thing is that is a review for my bi-annual bonus so this is usally a good meeting..
but now what to do tonight.. to be perfectly honest here.. I JUST WANT TO GET LAID!!! Is this such a bad thing? I dont think so.. I would have to think somone I know would want to also but just does not seem that way tonight. So here i am having to .. well self indulge.. but its just not enough dam it!!! So I am going to be here surfing the net trying to goto sleep but nope.. no help there.
Plus I have decided that I want to level up on this site but its so dam hard if your not a woman with tits.. I mean nothing wrong with you gals and I do enjoy the
You Know You Are Living In 2007 When....1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom y
They Do Things Differently Down South...Kentucky:
The owner of a golf course in Kentucky was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Kentucky and I need some help.
If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings."
You gotta love those Kentucky women.
Louisiana:
A senior at Louisiana State was overheard saying... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana." When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.
Mississippi:
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!" Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?" The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the
Proper Job Placement...Methods from Human Resources...
1. Put 400 bricks in a closed room.
2. Put your new hires in the room and close the door.
3. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours.
4. Then analyze the situation:
a. If they are counting the bricks, put them in the Accounting Department.
b. If they are recounting them, put them in Auditing.
c. If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in Engineering.
d. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.
e. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.
f. If they are sleeping, put them in Security.
g. If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.
h. If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.
i. If they say they have tried different combinations, they are looking for more, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in Sales.
j. If they have already lef
SpotlightSo yeah I wanna do that again but because I deleted my old profile it aint gonna happen. I am going through a lot of your profiles, mumms. pics and stash so I can get there but I could use your help
Everything I Do (i Do It For You)Artist: Bryan Adams
Album: Waking Up The Neighbours
Title: (Everything I Do) I Do It For You
Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more
Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you
Look into my heart - you will find
There's nothin' there to hide
Take me as I am - take my life
I would give it all I would sacrifice
Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for
I can't help it there's nothin' I want more
Ya know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you
There's no love - like your love
And no other - could give more love
There's nowhere - unless you're there
All the time - all the way
Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
I can't help it there's nothin' I want more
I would fight for you - I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you - Ya I'd die for you
Ya know it's true
Please Hold OnArtist: Chicago
Album: Chicago Xvii
Title: Please Hold On
Do you love me
Do you need me
Tell me the truth tonight
Do you love me
Do you need me
Can i still call you mine
I've heard the same old story
So many times
For every lie you've told me
I'd be a righ man if i had a dime
Why do you take me
Why do you rake me
Over your red hot coals
Why do you scold me
After you hold me
Why do you turn so cold
The lad's constant cruisin'
Expains the tears
The lonely path she's choosin'
If i didn't love her would i still be here
Please hold on, stay with me
Tell me what you have in mind
Please hold on, stay with me
Baby, don't you leave me behind
Do you love me
Do you need me
Tell me the truth this time
Do you love me
Do you need me
Can i still call you mine
Soft lights and quiet music
Forgets your name
Some people try to use it
But loneliness chooses the rules to the game
Please hold on, stay with me
Tell me what you have in mind
Please hol
Behind The WheelArtist: Depeche Mode
Album: 101
Title: Behind The Wheel
My little girl
Drive anywhere
Do what you want
I don't care
Tonight
I'm in the hands of fate
I hand myself
Over on a plate
Now
Oh little girl
There are times when i feel
I rather not be
The one behind the wheel
Come
Pull my strings
Watch me move
I do anything
Please
Sweet little girl
I prefer
You behind the wheel
And me the passenger
Drive
I'm yours to keep
Do what you want
I'm going cheap
Tonight
You're behind the wheel, tonight
The Only Thing You Did Was A Butcher CoverJuly 10 1969.
Canon Hugh Hotkins read an extract from a telegram Brian Jones sent to his parents at the time of his 2nd drug bust. This was read at Brian's funeral.
'Please don't judge me too harshly'.
Headline from a Brian Jones Yahoo group:
"This group is for Brian Jones, one the greatest musicians ever! Not matter what he did we Brian fans love him, uncondinially! The Golden Stone's memory will live forever."
Was Brian guilty in drugabuse?
Maybe. As Brians father says:
"And it was at that time I think, that he got mixed up with drugs, perhaps, if he indeed he was, whether he got mixed up with the wrong kind of people.
Or whether he just took to drugs or (sex), in the way many people take to drink."
Brian never touched a joint in my opinion.
Was Brian guilty in childabuse?
No.
The only time Brian comments on the accuse is when the Beatles release the album Yesterday (And Today) in june 1966.
By placing his song together with butchered babys Lennon manage to ki
An Open Letter From A WitchAn Open Letter from a Witch:
I am a witch. I do not worship Satan; I am not interested in Satan. Satan was invented by the Christians. Satanism is a form of Christianity. I am not a Christian. I don't go to church on Sunday. Jesus is NOT my savior. He was simply a holy man who lived 2,000 years ago. I am not afraid of going to Hell because I don't believe in Hell any more than I believe in Satan. I believe in reincarnation; that I will come back to this world or another and live out another life. I am not evil. Telling people I am a "good witch" or asking me if I am a good witch implies that there are evil witches. There are evil people in the world and there are people who chose to work with the forces of nature in a way that harms others; those people are NOT witches.
The central law of being a witch is: "if it harms none, do as you will." Please don't ask me about sacrificing cats or desecrating churches. I love my cats! And I don't go into churches or synagogues unless a friend f
ProblemsYa know I was introduced to this site by a friend , and I primarily stay on the site in order to keep in touch with her and show interest in what she likes . However I have never been on a site which has as many and recurrent problems as this one does ! I hope the folks that run this thing can get it together !
BsWhy do people lie about themselves. I try to be true to every one about who I am and about what I want. Then you get these people who lie. What do you really want? what do you really look like? I am so forward with me that I feel like a fool. I dont mislead anyone. I dont expect anything more than friendship from anyone. People are trippers. I sometimes want to tell them all to fuck off.
What ever!!!
The 1986 Crossroad Movie(blues)This is one of the greatest movies i seen since i was a teenager.It's about selling your soul to the devil,and being a great blues musician,but as always the devil plays tricks on you.So this kid want to learn great blues,and he helps this man get his soul back.Well it's a great movie.It's call "Cross Road".It's not that stupid Britney Spear's movie.Boy that was stupid thou nameing a movie after the name been taken thou.Anyways i consider this an awsome movie thou.Althou i haven't found it on Dvd.
Get Me.....I just created a playlist - yay me! I also have one on my myspace http://www.myspace.com/chick2606
later
Rockchick!
Fantasygo any where be anyone, be with any one you choose your fantasy
Hahahahathis is all very new to me i have no clue what the hell im doing
"almost""Almost"
[Verse 1]
Can you tell me
How can one miss what she's never had
How could I reminisce when there is no past
How could I have memories of being happy with you boy
Could someone tell me how can this be
How could my mind pull up incidents
Recall dates and times that never happened
How could we celebrate a love that's to late
And how could I really mean the words I'm bout to say
[Chorus]
I missed the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there
I miss the times that we use to kiss
At least in my dreams
Just let me take the time and reminisce
I miss the times that we never had
What happened to us we were almost there
Whoever said it's impossible to miss when you never had
Never almost had you
[Verse 2]
I cannot believe I let you go
Or what I should say I should've grabbed you up and never let you go
I should've went out with you
I should've made you my boo boy
Yes that's one time I should've broke the rules
I should've went on a
Deftones-be Quiet,and Drive(far Away)"Be Quiet And Drive (Far Away)"
This town dont feel mine
I'm fast to get away-FAR
I dressed you in her clothes
Now drive me far - away, away, away
It feels good to know your mine
Now drive me far - away, away, away
FAR away
I dont care where just FAR - away [x3]
And I dont care
FAR - away
And I dont care where just FAR - away [x3]
Let Me To Be Telling You Something.You cannot give 110%. You just can't, you tool.
Let me splain so as for you to understand.
If'n you's got a pie... and then you'ns eat the pie. 100% of that there pie am et. T'other 10% were taked by the boogey man.
It's late. I can't be expected to make sense.
*wanders off*
I Didn't Think I Would Say Or Think It.But I am getting kinda tired of fat girls on here with big boobies. You know what I am talking about. Big girls who are showing off the only thing they got going on for themselves. Also when I click the I'm bored link, I've always been tired of dudes without shirts. I could shave my chest and take pictures too if I wanted, but I'm not gonna ad to that madness.
I didn't feel like doing laundry today so I wore my swim trunks. Its completely wrong and I don't care. You see that's my problem I don't care.
Virus Alertt Just Came In By EmailVirus alert
Beware!Hi All,
I checked with Norton Antivirus and they are gearing up for this virus, so I believe this is real. Sent to me last night. I checked snopes.com and this is for real.Get this sent around to your contacts ASAP...we don't need this spreading around. PLEASE FORWARD THIS WARNING AMONG FRIENDS,FAMILY AND CONTACTS
> >> >>>
You should be alert during the next days: Do not open any message with an attached file called "Invitation" regardless of who sent it, It is a virus that opens an Olympic Torch which "burns" the whole hard disc C of your computer.. This virus will be received from someone who has your e-mail address in his/her contact list, that is why you should send this e-mail to all your contacts. It is better to receive this message 25 times than to receive the virus and open it. If you receive a mail called "invitation", though sent by a friend, do not open it and shut down your computer immediately. This is the worst virus announced by CNN, it has be
News Just InThe New Intel® AMT Setup and Configuration Service is Here
Dear Subscriber,
If you are writing a manageability application designed to run on the newest versions of either Intel® vPro™ processor technology or Intel® Centrino® Pro processor technology, check out the latest release of the Intel® Active Management Technology (Intel® AMT) Setup and Configuration Service (SCS), which is now available with new features and improvements.
Intel® AMT SCS provides your customers with the tools to set up and configure Intel AMT devices through a remote management console. The service package consists of a configuration engine and installer in binary form, plus a reference graphical user interface that you can integrate into your own software.
So, what's new in this version?
Support for Intel® AMT 2.2, 2.5, and 3.0
Support for Intel AMT certificate store
Support for Intel AMT wireless profiles
Support for 802.1x protocol
Support for Remote Configuration
Support for Cisc
News Just InHello,
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Testimonial:
"It's great to be abl
This Pitbull Needs Some Serious Love And AttentionFrom: Chris Murphy!From: ~A Voice For Those Who Cannot Speak~From: Tina-Marie - Rescuer for LifeDate: Jul 21, 2007 12:55 PMThis pittie desperately needs a rescue to step up for her or she will be euthed. She came into the shelter severely emaciated and will only be released to a rescue because of her condition. She is very sweet and is starved for affection. THIS IS A PLEA FOR HER LIFE. HER DAYS ARE NUMBERED IF A RESCUE DOESN’T COME FORWARD FOR HER IMMEDIATELY. IF YOU CANNOT HELP HER, PLEASE REPOST. Moultrie-Colquitt County Humane Society 1412 1st NE P.O. Box 2915 Moultrie, GA. 31776 Phone: 229-985-5463Tina Patael tinamdd909@yahoo.com
Broken Hearted Dog Needs Some Love-----------------From: Lingo DivaDate: Jul 19, 2007 11:54 AM***********PLEASE REPOST*************Attention West Coasters, Los Angeles Dog Left Alone Los Angeles- Pretty little dog left alone! Please help!PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 10:27 am Post subject: ATTN West Coasters - Los Angeles Dog Left AloneReply with quote Maybe the west coasters have leads for this sweet girl...EMERGENCY -- OWNER WENT TO NURSING HOME, 10 YEAR OLD DOG IN HOUSE ALL ALONERachel is a 10 or 11 year old dog who weighs 25 pounds. She loves to go on walks and play fetch in the yard. She has no medical problems, just a heart aching for love and attention. Rachel is calm, well mannered, lovable, adaptable, adorable and housebroken.Rachel is dying of a broken heart. Her owner had to go into a nursing home. People come to walk and feed her, but she is alone almost all the time. She stays vigilantly on the bed that her owner used to sleep on wishing he would come back.Contact Arlene at 310-657-0313 This is a cr
Sign GuestbookPlease you sign my guestbook....&& Thanks for sign guestbook...
UpgradesOnce i start leveling up more i will be doing some of my favorite art pics....so there's a little more coming...oohh i can't wait lol.
Lmfao Very Funny Joke Must Read Haha............LOL VERY FUNNY JOKE MUST READ CHEERS GANG.........
Current mood: crazy
Category: Parties and Nightlife
Wanna laugh? this is funny
One morning this little old lady walked into the Canadian National Bank to make a deposit. She insisted on only making her deposit with the President of the bank.... so after some arguing.... she got her wish and they walked her into the President's office.
The President asks her how much money she would like to deposit and the little old lady answers, " I have $165,000 to deposit."
The President says, "Thats quite the amount of cash to be carrying around... do you mind if I ask how you accumulated this amount?"
The little old lady does not hesitate to asnwer and says, "I place bets."
"Bets?" The President asks... "How did you manage to make this kind of money placing bets?"
The little old lady thinks for a moment and then says, " I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are in the shape of squares."
The President laughs to
Ok Cherrys When Does A Boy Become A Real Man...........OK WHEN DOES A BOY GROW INTO A REAL MAN VERY TRUE!!!
Current mood: amused
Category: Life
I am contemplating the idea that if it hasn't happened past age 30 (or at if it hasn't at least begun to happen), then there's a good chance it might not...he is probably pretty set in his ways by this point...but who knows, it still might... and I think the same is true for women. Yet as I say this, I am realizing that this is based on the idea that people can change and grow... but only if they want to, and only when they realize that the benefit of changing one's ways outweighs the risk of changing them. I only started "coming into my own" and thinking about what I really wanted and needed to do to "grow up" as I was approaching 30...in some ways I was already very independent, in others, very needy...probably something to do with my upbringing... had divorced parents, latch-key kid...lacked a secure father figure in my formative years. I don't know...there could be many factors involv
Sad Poem About Life For The Small Kids With Parents That Love Abuse So Sad......................SAD TRUE POEM CALLED..DADDY IT HURTS....................
Current mood: angry
Category: Life
July 22, 2007 4:48 PM
Subject "daddy it hurts"
Body: Body: THiS iS A TRUE STORY AND iF YOU DONT PASS THiS ON YOU DONT H AVE A SOUL!!!OR HEART.............
My name is Chris
I am three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I cant do a wrong
I cant speak at all
Or else im locked up
All day long.
When im awake im all alone
The house is dark
My folks arent home
When my mommy does come home
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe ill just get
One whipping tonight.
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Chariles bar
I hear him curse
My name
All I Wanna DoAll I wanna do,
is be free like the sky you see
memories with the wind in your hair
Kisses so sweet you dare not tell
All I wanna do
be something in this tiny world
having nothing to everything indeed
everything you want and desire in me
All I wanna do
is have you and me
just us plus three
one happy family
All I wanna do
Is be loved by you
Free of pain and sin
you holding me deep within
All I wanna do
Is be forgiven too
Seen for who I am
And loved for just me
ALL I WANNA DO
Screaming Inside MeAnger runs cold as emotions grow bold
Devilish grins become midnight sins
And evil spawns a new days worth
In my heart, in my soul, I know this to be so
Anger runs cold as emotions grow bold
Faithless wonder, I explored in your eyes
Found something I was missing inside
Thought you was here to die
Anger runs cold as emotions grow bold
In your thoughts I have found
Things to be diffrent then reality
Almost good for my fantisy
Anger runs cold as emotions grow bold
Time we spent does have a concenquent
Nine months to grow, eightteen years to go
Fire burning so high before that day
Anger runs cold as emotions grow bold
On last time to say goodbye
Invisable you walked on by
To a place that I would cry
Anger runs cold as emotions grow bold
Sinful EyesHere is my feelings, my thoughts, my words
I am who I am and I will never change
Love me for me, Hate me for who I am not
Your words have no meaning, and I
Will no longer be the reason I bleed
Your anger is my hate, and my love is your misery
Forever one you and me,
Sorry but I can never be saved
Hurry true love come rescue me
I am in love with some one who doesnt know me
They see an imaige of fantisy and lust
Your reality of me is I am all you wish and desire
Made from evil carnet I walk in the dead
Wishing you where in my head
I dont care tell them all my fears
My nerves are my words, and I want to speak
I saw you watching her, I sen it from the start
Watched your eyes go up and down
All day I felt like your clowen
My dream to stay alive, is your nightmare to die
My anger is your love growing inside me
Please my Dark Knight free me from your ties
Now you can swallow all my pride
Why cry for me, my soul was already
The Mask InsideHis words cut through me like knives and give my soul a chill
Climaxed we part in sarrow, meeting smiles of hated faces and bitter eyes
As the night becomes day, he does try to walk his owen way
Odd as it is he ask me to beg him for his please
With a look of lust and grin coverd in sin I say it once then twice more
And his eyes glow envies of men before
To his head the air does go, on top of the world evil in glote
When all is said done, I leave him with a sting like non other
Wanting more then just me above and forever
Like his puppet he pulls my strings, playing silly games for me
I watch as they beg him to stay, even when he wants to play
Comming home to me he does try freely
With a smile and a word my hole world goes with him
All the while I do grin from the pain within
As he walks by with no wonder why
I do not cry
Spells Of LoveTender tears run down her face, as his memorie does fade
All the silence in his world just in her finger tips
Softly she calls for who she can not see, just to feel his imbrace
Love and lust are one to her, oh and how she holds it in well
In her mind she does pray
Just one more day....
Like the wild fire she runs and plays
Only to say....hey (dont) come my way
Her arms open and doors locked
He who has her key will set her free
And when that day does come
All Hell is his etrinty
Free Blogs 2Blogs | Free Software Magazine
Top 10 Free Software Daily stories this week! By admin. Online on: 2007-07-21 ... Download tested, rated and reviewed shareware, freeware, commercial demos ...www.freesoftwaremagazine.com/blog - 55k - Cached
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Bloghints Blog Directory- TRAVEL BLOGS > Guides
Bloghints Blog Directory is a free to submit and fun to browse blog directory. ... Top Hits " Top Rated Blogs " Late
Go Buy Stock In Del Taco Immediately!I'm just getting home. I stopped on the way home for some food cause I remembered that I hadn't really eaten all that much today. As I was sitting in line at the drive-thru, it dawned on me. I need to buy stock in Del Taco. So do all of you. I live at Del Taco. I have them sometimes before work. Usually at work. And, almost always after work on my way home. I freggin' live in Del Taco! So ... go out, buy some stock in the company and see what happens. I know as long as I am alive, they will be getting a good portion of profits from me.
It's sad really. To the point where I think I'd base my decision to move to another state, city, town, country or whatever ... on whether or not they had a Del Taco (and maybe a Wendy's and Carl's Jr. too). It's that important to me to have available. Without this manna from heaven I call the Del Beef Burrito or the life-blood of the Orange and Cream shakes I don't know what I would do for my five food groups. I'd starve. No, no ... no I would not end
Two Souls, One VoiceTwo Souls, One Voice
by Paulus
although two souls are meeting
there is but one voice
capturing the moment
captivating and controlling
the thoughts, actions, words
leading the way for conscious
desire and decisive emotion
stories and daily goings- on
are frequently passed
between the one voice
and the intermixed beings
creating a warm happiness
a sense of belonging
an aura of completeness
a comfortable existence
time, a distant memory
fading in and fading out,
its power and autonomy fall
on blissfully ignorant,
yet distinctly aware,
ears - focused and true
with the quantity
of well spent hours
adding up and summarizing
the feelings and beliefs
shared and opposed,
comes an ability
to confide and uphold
moments, eternities
abundant with understanding.
Money!!!!!!!!!!!!!go to this website if you want to make money i just joined and am having fun....... http://www.vemmabuilder.com/6855594
How Naughty Are You?1. Your Name:
2. Age:
3. Favorite position (s)?
4. Do you think I'm hot?
5. Would you have sex with me?
6. lights on or off?
7. Would you have to be drunk?
8. Would you take a shower with me?
9. Have you ever thought about having sex with me?
10. Would you leave after or stay the night?
11. Do you like cuddling afterwards?
12. Condom or skin?
13. Do you give Oral pleasures?
14. Do you like to receive Oral Pleasures?
15. Have sex on the first date?
16. Would you kiss me during sex?
17. Do you think I would be good in bed?
18. Threesome?
20. How many times would you like to cum?
21. Would you use me as a booty call?
21. Can I use you as a booty call?
22. Do you like fore play?
23. What is foreplay to you?
24. Can we take pictures of the act?
25. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?
LoveThat's not love, baby. That's a giant, evil warthog trying to chew your left buttock.
How many times do we have to go over this?
More Than A MomentMore than a moment
The exhale of her breath across your chest is almost enough to send chills through you
You take turns inhaling and exhaling, to feel the full effect of each others breaths
Her warmth spreads through you like the sun on the first day of summer
You both feel invincible, united and time almost stops
You hold her tighter not wanting the moment to ever end
Nothing matters or exists but the two of you and this moment
You lean in and kiss her forehead and catch the heart stopping smell of her hair
You make eye contact and every thing stops
Youre breathing, time and the world all freeze as you gaze deeply into each others eyes
Slowly you move closer until your lips almost meet
You kiss her lightly first then again whole-heartedly, passionately and with the up most care
Again eye contact is made and you are over whelmed by warmth
Knowing that you have someone that youre happy just holding and being close to
You realize this isnt just lust, passion or a brie
Dating..Well I found a man that has everything that a woman looks for in a man EXCEPT I am not physically attracted to him? Do I settle for no looks and good qualities or keep on fishing???
Angry MonkeyMonkeys are angry. Don't think for one moment that they wouldn't fling poo at you.
My Name Is...Some days I wish my name was Cletus.
There's just something special about being able to say, "yup?" when someone yells, "HEY! CLETUS!"
Zone AlarmI give all of Program Control's Component the green check. You can use it to limit applications or security risks. When the WMF security risk was out and I was waiting for the security patcj (like everyone else) I just found the item in the list and gave it a question mark. I stop the avnotifier.dll as well to stop the advertising screen when the AntiVir av does it's update. At the very least, the Windows OS, the security applications and the most used software should have green checks.
This could be the reason why the Sophos has trouble updating. Look in the list and the right click will give enough info to determine that it belongs to the antivirus.
Also try this method>
-turn off the Sophos
-delete all entries of the Sophos in the Program list in the Programs panel
-Reboot
-use the always and allow for all of the new popups
-run the updater and the scanner
-open the Program list of the Programs and in the right -click use the Options and give as many rights for the i
Harry Potter And The Chamberpot Of ShiteIt's become clear to me over the last couple of days that there is huge problem in the world. That problem is nerdy adults who read Harry Potter. It has gotten to the point now the release of a new book by Ms Rowling is greeted with the sort of fervour generally seen by stone mad crazy people at evangelical services who are hoping to be healed of some minor affliction such as athletes foot. And this, people,is fucking scary!
Last friday night/saturday morning our local store opened at midnight so that the looney's could be the first to get there hands on this manuscript of gold. At about 11.45 a truck arrived and some boxes were taken off it. Of course the fuckwits presumed these were the books and went wild, trying to grab a peek at the cover through their fake glasses and cowpat wigs. I'm pretty sure I saw a guy having multiple orgasms. The Rolling Stones never got this sort of adulation. Now the interesting thing about the people queuing is that try as I might I could only see fiv
Can I Give U Ecstasy?Not only are you fine, but damn ma you one of a kind,
I mean you sexy not only in looks but in yo mind.
You got them inviting eyes...tellin me you want my head between yo thighs,
Baby girl lay yo seductive ass back and let me give my surprise.
Damn the way you moaning and squirming is giving me butterflies,
Ohh I really got your juices flowin, let me give you pleasure till sunrise.
You wanna take a ride? Ill lay back and on my face I let you drive,
From the look in your eyes I can tell its time for your orgasm to arrive.
So excited, you explode, gracing my tongue with your sweet load,
Lost in our seduction we fall asleep with each other to hold.
Now I ask again...Can I give you ecstasy?
$olo 4/07
Blondes Do It Better.I see shirts and the like with that phrase all the time. "Blondes do it better" or "Brunettes do it better".
What the hell is "it"? And better than what?
Bagels. Yeah, Right.Please to be stopping the charade. We all know that bagels are just bastardized donuts.
They have no place in a perfect world.
Secret......Its quarter past 10 and Im still thinking the same as before.
I think that I like you, but I just cant be sure.
Im pretty sure I do, but I dont wanna get hurt again.
Thats why I wont tell you, I wont say anything.
If I tell you these feelings, youll say you dont feel that way.
And if you say you do, youll end up leaving anyway.
I cant see my heart break; I dont want the tears to fall.
I wanna feel your love, but I dont want pain at all.
I wish that I could tell you, but I cant get the words out straight.
I wanna love you, I wanna be with you, but I dont wanna lose my mate.
One day I will tell you how I feel, but that day is not today.
Because I dont know how you feel and I guess thats okay.
Ill just keep the secret in my heart and you will never know.
Ill hide it in my smile, but I wont let it show.
I will pretend that I dont love you anymore than just a friend.
Because if I dont tell you how I feel, I cant get hurt again
Texas Hold-emhttp://portal.pokerdream.com/signup.aspx?sid=717&rc=4524146
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Here is a site for all you poker players out there. If you just want to play poker for fun or money.Don't let this one slip through your fingers.
Have you wondered what it would be like to own your own online poker room.Now it is possible.Just check out this site and find out how.
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Check out the bonus offer they have.
100% Sign Up Bonus up to $300 - Bonus Code 1STDEPOSIT
Sign up now & we will raise you up to $300 when you make your first deposit. Just download the game and follow the simple steps to create a new account and play! Sign up now & we will raise you up to $300 when you make your first deposit. Just download the game and follow the simple steps to create a new account to play! You are required to play 10 times the amount of your deposit before your bonus is credit
12 Roses For Something That Will Never BeThe first rose holds the joy that's in my heart today,
The second is the feelings I feel in every way
The third rose is the sunshine around me when your near,
The fourth holds the shedding of every joyful tear.
The fifth rose is the patience in your heart for me at times,
The sixth makes up for waiting for the words you love in rhyme.
The seventh rose holds the caring I give so full and free,
The eighth it holds the loving you give so much to me
The ninth rose is to forgive me when I'm harsh or wrong
The tenth is to thank you for choosing me through your whole life long
The eleventh rose is to say I love you each and every way
The twelfth is to carry these feelings from day to day to day.
Another dozen roses, a dozen reasons shared,
Of love, life and friendship with my love who always cared
Old Flame Dies Hard...some Graves Don't Go Deep EnoughSituation: Ex contacts me and says he misses me and still wants to be with me.
Problem: He was a horrible boyfriend, and emotionally abusive at that.
Why He's Not Winning My Heart: Has another girlfriend right now. He's a cheater. And will ditch this girl he's with for one more chance with me.
Honestly, I broke up with you. You even admit you were horrible. What makes you think I'd want you back after all the shit you put me through. You took me away from my family and friends, you made me cry and belittled me, scaring me by throwing and breaking things. You were a serious disappointment and I think you deserve to be lonely.
Answer: I have someone else now that is 10x better than you. I'll talk to you, but their is no way in hell that I will give you a second chance to make me miserable.
PleasureI am all abot pleasure, pleasing a women sexually is a very simple task just as leaving someone in suspense is simple. giving oral sex is a pleasurable thing that women tento enjoy. Most women sww a man with his tongue peirced will make the assumption that he is a " pussy eater" are they correct? I hope so. I know the reason i have my tongue peirced is to try to enhance my skills at eating pussy. this blog is not to offend any one but to the women dop you feel as though a guy with a tongue ring enhances his skills?
The Cop And The KidOn Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
The kid replies, "Yeah."
The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike."
The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.
The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."
The kid continued, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."
Stray Thoughts1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."
2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
3. The difference between the Pope and your boss...the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.
5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.
7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
9. My next house will have no kitchen -- just vending machines and a large trash can.
10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me al
What Job Ads Really MeanWhat Job Ads *really* Mean
"Competitive Salary"
We remain competitive by paying you less than our competition.
"Join our fast-paced company"
We have no time to train you.
"Casual work atmosphere"
We don't pay enough to expect that you will dress up; a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
"Some overtime required"
Some every night and some every weekend.
"Duties will vary"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"Must have an eye for detail"
We have no quality assurance.
"Career-minded"
Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
"Apply in person"
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told that the position has been filled.
"Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience"
You'll need it to replace the three people who just quit.
"Problem-solving skills a must"
You're walking into perpetual chaos.
"Requires team leadership skills"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"Good c
A Dozen CondomsA father and his little boy went into a local drugstore to pick up a prescription. While in the store. the little boy was browsing around and came upon a rather large display for condoms. The little boy looked at all the brightly coloured packages and the different types and quantities.
Then, suddenly, the little boy finds his father and asks him, "Daddy, what are all those condoms?" The father, stuttered, and said, "Well, they are for protection, son. Protection from diseases when a man and a woman make love."
The little boy contemplated the concept for a few moments and then asked, "Then why do these come in a package of three? The father coyly answered, "Those are for young men in high school. One for Friday night, Saturday night, and Sunday afternoon."
"UH-HUH" said the little boy, "then, why are these in packages of six?" The father smirked, "Those are for young men in college. There are two for Friday night, two for Saturday, and two Sunday afternoon."
"WOW" said the
Horrible Road Head AccidentIn an appalling blowjob accident, a man had his penis severed when he hit a tree while his wife was giving him a blowjob while he was driving their car.
His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery, since it was considered cosmetic. He said the cost would be $4,500 for "small", $9,500 for "medium" or $16,000 for "large".
The guy thought he'd get a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision.
The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected.
"Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor.
The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen".
The Hotdog Blowjob TrickOne night these two men wanted to go out for drinks, but they didn't have any money. The first man said, "No problem. I have an idea".
So the two proceeded to the closest bar and ordered their drinks. The second man finally asks, "Now what's your plan?"
The first man said, "I'm gonna put this hot dog down my pants and then you unzip me and suck the hot dog right before we have to pay the bill. Once the staff sees this, we will be thrown out of the bar for sure."
The second man was unsure but agreed. As soon as the bill came he dropped to his knees and began to suck. His plan worked. After the 2 men were spotted, they were quickly thrown out of the bar. They proceeded to do this all night in bars all over town without ever having to pay.
Finally the second man said, "Man, I'm drunk enough. That was a great plan."
The first man said "Yea it was, but I lost the hot dog three doors back." laughing
The Wealthy HookerOne day a man went on a buissness trip to Florida .
He had saw this hooker and he asked "How much for a hand job?"
The hooker replied "100 Bucks"
The man said "100 Bucks, That's a lot of got damn money"
So the hooker pulled him to the side and said "See that Mercedes, I paid for that by giving hand jobs."
So he gave her the money and received the best hand he had ever had.
The next day he sees her and asks "How much for a blowjob?"
She said "200 dollars"
"200 dollars that's a lot of money"
She pulled him to the side and said "You see that yahat by the pier, I paid for that yahat by giving blowjobs."
So he gives her the money, and get the best head job of his life
On hist last day in Florida he returns to the hooker and says "The hand job was good, the head job was great how much for the whole package."
"1000 dollars'
"1000 dollars that's a lot of god damn money"
So she pulled him to side and said "You see that island, I could afford that if i h
A Mess Of PunsWhen she saw her first gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.
Freudian slip. When you say one thing and mean your mother.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
I used to work in a blanket factory but it folded.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
A breakfast boiled egg is hard to beat.
A lot of money is tainted. It t'aint yours and t'aint mine.
His photographic memory was never developed.
When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
Those who jump off Paris bridge are in Seine.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Bakers trade bread reci
Recall Of Castleberry Food CoIn case you hadn't heard the news regarding a massive recall of Castleberry Food Co. canned goods due to botchalism poisoning, here's the story...
recall of Castleberry Food Co
First dog and cat food then children toys, now food. What next
More Deep ThoughtsHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
If you were a poor Aztec with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don't think it would be a good idea to say, "I swallowed it. So sue me."
When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.
Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking
Top 10 Things To Say On A DateTop 10 Things to Say on a Date
10. "I sure like chicken."
9. "What a wonderful day. Did I mention I was in a car accident on the way over?"
8. "This is so exciting! I've never taken two showers in one week before!"
7. "How about them Reading Phillies? ;)"
6. "That's quite interesting... (yawn)"
5. "I sold my entire 1999 set of baseball cards last week!"
4. "Do you watch Pokemon? I like Pokemon!"
3. "How 'bout them kidneys on eBay?"
2. "Do I smell tacos? I wish we could have tacos!"
1. "My pet monkey gives you two thumbs up!"
OxymoronsAct naturally
Happily married
Microsoft Works
Holy war
Found missing
Resident alien
Minor Catastrophe
Affordable housing
Near miss
Great depression
Canadian army
Phone sex
United nations
Advanced BASIC
Genuine imitation
Death benefits
Airline Food
Good grief
Same difference
Almost exactly
Sensitive man
Government organization
Everything except
Civil War
Good kid
Sanitary landfill
Alone together
Legally drunk
Silent scream
British fashion
Living dead
Small crowd
Business ethics
Soft rock
Butt Head
Military Intelligence
Software documentation
New York culture
New classic
Sweet sorrow
Child proof
"Now, then"
Synthetic natural gas
Passive aggressive
Taped live
Clearly misunderstood
Peace force
Extinct Life
Temporary tax increase
New and improved
Computer jock
Plastic glasses
Terribly pleased
Computer security
Political science
Tight slacks
Definite maybe
Pretty ugly
Twelve-ounce pound cake
Diet ice cream
Rap music
Working vacatio
Viagra Advertising Slogans10. Viagra, It's "Whaazzzzz Up!"
9. Viagra, The quicker pecker upper
8. Viagra, Like a rock!
7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there tonight.
6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.
5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.
4. Viagra, Strong enough for a [woman], but made for a [man].
3. Viagra, Tastes great!........More filling!
2. Viagra, We bring good things to life!
And the unanimous number one slogan:
1. This is your penis. This is your penis on drugs. Any questions?
Angry SexA woman went to her psychiatrist because she was having severe problems with her sex life. The psychiatrist asked her many questions but did not seem to be getting a clear picture of her problems.
Finally he asked, "Do you ever watch your husband's face while you are having sex?"
"Well, yes, I did once."
"Well, how did he look?"
"Very angry."
At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere and he said, "Well that's very interesting, we must look into this further. Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your husband's face once during sex; that seems somewhat unusual; how did it occur that you saw his face that time?"
"He was looking through the window."
My Lovewhen i say i love you i mean that to the fullest and i know that no matter what i will always love you.
i often question myself at times like do i love a person more than i love myself or do they even know how much love really grows inside of me when it comes to them.
my love is unconditonal deeper than anything on this earth my love is what makes me grow each day just that love and that person or persons is whats right
my love is the one thing that lets me know that that when i give piece of my heart to you that i want you around for as long as we both live
for me to say i love you daily is a gift from god to you to let you know im there no matter what and thats as real as i can ever get
i always think like when i say i love you do they know how powerful the sound of that coming from my voice is.
does that person know not to play with those words and the many differant context of that word that can come from me
all in all it comes down to loving you caring for
Stupid InternetGrr. So I have no clue why my internet is going from super fast to super slow to the point where I need to actually reboot it. So to those who I was talking to via messenger and who I was returning rates etc. I'm totally sorry. I'm going to get back to ya as fast as I can go. So that's about it folks.
Me No Espeaky.I don't leave a lot of comments. Since I can't type or read and all that crap.
No MoreI am hurt,
I feel like dirt,
Thinks to him
Now I can't trust,
There's lust.
I am crying,
Just dying,
Lying here on the floor bleeding.
The truth I'm seeing,
Being,
No more singing.
My heart is tired of it minding.
No more for you will it be bending.
Give me a break,
Just take a moment and see what you did.
Don't fib
On what you did.
You have a kid.
Now see what you did.
you will have ot
just no more
no more pain
dont hit me with that cain
your just insain
Your The.....your the PEANUT to my BUTTER ,
your the STAR to my BURST,
your the M to my M,
your the POP to my TART,
your the MILKY to my WAY,
your the FRUIT to my LOOP,
your the MILK to my DUDS,
your the LUCKY to my CHARMS,
your the ICE to my CREAM,
your the GHETTO to my BOOTY,
but mostly. You're the BEST to my FRIEND
No Where 2 Hideno where 2 hide
always in side
tears running down my eye
as the bulets fly bye
we will all die
after we get high
no one will lie
lie awake in side
with all the hurt and pain
is there anything we can gain
from all this bull crap
all i hear is a loud tap
threw these hollow halls
i sit in the stalls
covered in my own blood like stuff
i just had enough
i have no where to hide
from this hell i call a life
i might need that knife
to end this nightmare called a reality
Thursday Links: Les Stroud From Shark Week, Lazlow, Larry The Cable Guy, Joel Mchale, New O&a Videos, New Photos, Traveling Virus In Detroit, New VideLISTEN TO TODAY'S SHOW ON AUDIBLE (link usually active by 3pm EST)
Happy Thursday, everybuddy...we have a busy, busy, busy show in store for you today, so buckle up and prepare for hilarity...or something that closely resembles hilarity. Today on the POgram, Les Stroud from Shark Week is stopping by to chat with the boys. We'll also hear from Larry The Cable Guy, who is playing Jones Beach tonight!. Our pal LAZLOW is also stopping by to talk about some techy-stuff. We'll also check in with our buddy Joel McHale from The Soup.
Remember, if you want to see all of the in-studio action LIVE as it happens, Turn on your PALTALK. (of course, you may already be doing that watching all the lovely Ladies of PALTALK, who spend their mornings showering, sleeping nude, getting dressed, or having the morning sex. We watch them, and you should too!)
We have some brand new photos from the O&A Show online:
Bret Michaels Visits the Opie and Anthony Show
Sexbagel tests out the new stripper pole
Stealers And ThiefsJUST A LITTLE VENTING TODAY... WE ARE FIXING A HOUSE UP FOR MY HUSBAND'S BOSSES SON.. HE HASN'T LIVED IN IT IN OVER A YEAR AND A HALF.. ANYWAY WE HAVE TAKEN TWO 15 YARD DUMPSTERS OUT OF THE HOUSE AND GARAGE AND STILL SOME TO GO... WE PLAN ON MOVING IN FOR ABOUT A YEAR UNTIL MY HUSBAND RETIRES THEN WE WILL MOVE BACK TO HIS HOME TOWN IN KANSAS TO BE NEAR FAMILY THEN MY SIS AND I CAN RAISE SOME KANSAS HELL... WELL THE SON, FATHER AND MOTHER AND THE SON'S FRIEND CAME OVER LAST SATURDAY TO GET WHAT THEY WANTED OUT OF THE HOUSE... I CAUGHT THE FRIEND ON A 5 GAL. BUCKET LOOKING INTO THE GARAGE.. MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED THAT ALL OF OUR STUFF WE HAD IN STORAGE (WHICH IS A HUGE AMOUNT)... ANYWAY I ASKED HIM WHAT HE WAS DOING... HE SAID.. JUST LOOKING... SO I INFORMED THIS FRIEND.. THIS IS OUR STUFF NOT ADAMS... WELL AFTER WE LEFT THE HOUSE SUNDAY.. WE GO BACK MONDAY NIGHT TO WORK A LITTLE... HUM... KEN'S TOOL BOX IS GONE... OH MY... THERE IS A SHIT LOAD OF STUFF GONE... SOME VERY EXPENSIVE
Don't Fluff In BedIf this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let
me know and I'll pray for you.
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for
years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit
farting loudly every morning when he awoke The noise would wake his
wife and the smell would make her eyes water
and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off
because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and
that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was
concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to blast them out!
Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey
for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl
where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all
the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the
bowl and went upstairs where her husband
Never Have I FallenYour lips speak soft sweetness
Your touch a cool caress
I am lost in your magic
My heart beats within your chest
I think of you each morning
And dream of you each night
I think of your arms being around me
And cannot express my delight
Never have I fallen
But I am quickly on my way
You hold a heart in your hands
That has never before been given away
Harness Our Own PowerThe greatest hope for change is a difficult relationship begins when someone changes tact. Don't spend your time running on the same old train tracks bowing scrapping or begging trying to earn an eventually surrendering all you have to win something that should have been a gift. Acceptance and appreciation. You may be doing the same thing it may help to know you lose less when you arent afriad of losing. You lose who you are when you shy away from the issues because what you avoid controls you and your very emotions. The power of mind games comes from facing the issues straight in the eye being straightforward and not arguing.
Remember these three things:
1. you lose less when you aren't afraid of losing
2. you lose when you try to avoid issues
3. What you avoid controls you.
How To Fight Fair With Unfair PeopleThe key to this is to sit down and talk through your problems with the person you are fighting with no matter how it is for you all to get along at this point. You need to be a team be supportive of one another the change in he or she may be a challenge. He or she may attack you verbally withdraw and ignore. The important thing for you to do at he or shes attack is how you respond:
1.Name calling won't get you anywhere
2.Im sorry you do not understand my point. Le me state is again.
3. You agreed to hear me out
4.There must be a problem or I wouldnt be here and you wouldnt be so defensive.
5. I care or I wouldnt talk to you about this
6. I believe you want a good relationship too
7. I know you are a caring person and I am sure your goal is the same as mine to support each other.
8. I wont accept your labeling
9. Please lets keep the topic
10. This does not involve others we are talking about you and me.
11. It's not okay for you to talk to me that way
11 Firefighters Injured In Indian Hill House Fire Official Says Some Injured Have Third-degree Burns11 Firefighters Injured In Indian Hill House Fire
Official Says Some Injured Have Third-Degree Burns
POSTED: 7:29 pm EDT July 25, 2007
UPDATED: 10:56 am EDT July 26, 2007
INDIAN HILL -- Eleven firefighters were injured while fighting a house fire in Indian Hill on Wednesday night.
The fire broke out at a home at 9550 Cunningham Rd. shortly after 7 p.m.
The homeowner, James Jaeger, told News 5 that he and his wife were alerted to the fire when an alarm went off while they were eating dinner.
Jaeger said he went upstairs and found some smoke, then suddenly a lot more smoke.
"When your house is on fire and you call 911, it's hard to even talk. And I just said, 'This is Jim Jaeger, 9550 Cunningham Road, and the house is on fire," he said.
Fire Chief Steve Ashbrock said there was a flashover explosion inside the home, injuring six firefighters, burning at least one of them seriously. Ashbrock could not say where the firefighters were in the home when the flashover occ
Wft Mate????STOP dissing NSFW pics with your holier than thou fucking attitude ESPECIALLY if YOURE the one checking them out!
I'm so sick of you people crying about self respect vs sluttiness vs "I love looking at your body but don't want you looking at mine" mid-western puritan BULLSHIT.
don't post?? then don't view. or keep your mouth shut about how you feel about.
Something Must BeSomething must be wrong with me
with all this hurt inside,
always bursting with anger,
and never any pride.
Something must be wrong with me
if all I do is cry,
I can't stop this pain
all I want to do is die.
Something must be wrong with me
if my emotions run wild,
all this confusion does
is make me feel like a lost child.
Something must be wrong with me
with all these terrible things,
always there and never gone
depression is what it brings.
Something must be wrong with me
if I can't stop these thoughts,
all this pain does
is turn my stomach in knots.
Something is truly wrong with me
when I think there's only one way out,
"Let this pain end,"
is all my heart will shout.
Please Read And Repost Thanks!!!okay this is basically my first blog and i am ticked!!! because some moron went and said that one of my photos was not NSFW what a bunch of crap! so as for who ever you are watch out because i dont post sexual content on my pages or anything like that! and just a fair warning to the person that did this to me if i find out who you are i will do the same thing to you because what you did was not right and if you did it because of my religion then you are very wrong for it.
i am as of right now going through my lists of people and i am cleaning it up except for my family list you that are my family know who you are and i will not take you off i am leaving you there it is all the other lists that i will be cleaning up.
now that i have gotten this out i do feel better and just in case someone gets a brainy idea i made this blog NSFW also. thanks for your attention.
Poor Little Timmy...Teacher asked Tim, " Why is your cat at school today?" Tim starts crying and says, " I heard my daddy tell my mom I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids go to school."
Dirty And Rude Pick Up Lines1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.
2. Nice legs...what time do they open?
3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher: have you seen one?
8. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
13. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?
14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is on
Female ComebacksMan: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Son Of A B***h!Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bit**."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bit**?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bit**."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bit**."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bit**."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bit**."
Girl:
Let Me Ask You A QuestionA little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, "Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many
blackbirds are left?"
The little boy thinks for a moment and says, "NONE!" The teacher replies, "None, how do you figure that?" The little boy says, if I shoot one, all the other birds will fly away scared, leaving none on the fence." The teacher replies, "Hmm, not exactly, but I do like the way you think!"
The little boy then says, "Teacher, let me ask you a question.
There are 3 women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone, another is biting it and the third one is sucking it. How can you tell which one of the women is married?"
The teacher ponders the question ncomfortably and then finally replies, "Well, I guess the one sucking her cone."
To which the little boy replies, "Actually, its the one with the wedding ring, but I do like the way YOU think!"
What Happens When You Cheat On A Marine..lolA Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a
letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept
with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. AND, she wanted the pictures of herself back.
So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find. He then mailed about 25 pictures of women (with clothes and mostly without) to his girlfriend with the following note: "I don't remember which one you are. Please remove your picture and send the rest back."
Condom JokeA young man goes into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, “Hello, could you give me condom. I’m going to my girlfriends for dinner and I think I may be in with a chance!”
The pharmacist gives him the condom and as the young man is going out; he returns and says, “Give me another condom because my girlfriend’s sister is very cute too. She always crosses her legs in a provocative manner when she sees me and I think I might strike it lucky there too.”
The pharmacist gives him a second condom and as the boy is leaving he turns back and says, “Go on, give me one more condom because my girlfriend’s mum is still pretty cute and when she sees me she always makes eyes, and since she invited me for dinner, I think she is expecting me to make a move!
During dinner, the young man is sitting with his girlfriend on his left, the sister on his right and the mum facing him. When the dad gets t here, the boy lowers his head and starts praying, “Dear Lord, bless this dinner and Thank you for
Actual Classified AdsIlliterate? Write today for free help.
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Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
Stock up and save. Limit: one.
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3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00
For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
For sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautif
The New PriestA new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:
1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say h
10 Way To Know If You Have Pms1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says, "How's my driving - call 1-800-***-****."
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. You're convinced there's a God and he's male.
8. You're counting down the days until menopause.
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The Motrin bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
12 Step Program Of Recovery For Web Addicts1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I used to, before the Web.
2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.
3) I will get dressed before noon.
4) I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Web.
5) I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Web-deprived.
6) I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Web.
7) I will read a book...if I still remember how.
8) I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Web.
9) I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.
10) I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not.
11) I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Web.
12) Last, but no
134 Redneck Warning Signs (yes!! It Says 134)1. You've ever cut your grass and found a car.
2. You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't.
3. You think the stock market has a fence around it.
4. Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in-Theater.
5. You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.
6. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
7. You own a homemade fur coat.
8. Chiggers are included on your list of top 5 hygiene concerns.
9. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
10. Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I
can take a bath."
11. You refer to the time you won a free case of motor oil as "the day my ship came in."
12. You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.
13. The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
14. You've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.
15. Your entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from
the Governor to spare a loved one.
16. Your grandmother has ever been asked to leave the bingo hall
because of her language.
17. Someone
19 Putdowns And Rejections!1
man: "Haven't we met before?"
woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."
2
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
3
Man: "I'd really like to get into your pants."
Woman: "No thanks. There's already one asshole in there."
4
The most memorable rebuttal to a turn-down (used by the guy who used to live across the hall from me in residence) when he asked a girl to dance and she refused:
Man: "Want to Dance?"
Woman: "No, thank you."
Man: "Don't thank me, thank God because somebody asked you."
5
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
6
Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "Female impersonator."
7
Man: "You know, I'd really love to travel to exotic places with you."
Woman: (tries to ignore him)
Man: "You know what? I also love sex. What do you say to that?"
50 Facts About Women1. Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control.
2. Women especially love a bargain. The question of "need" is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.
3. Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you "just don't understand".
4. Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.
5. Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.
6. Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.
7. Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.
8. Women don't need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is more physical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that the man *wants* to have sex with
50 Things To Do In An Elevator1. make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to
other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering:
"Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the
elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask:
"Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors
open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you A
Friday!Thank god it's Friday. Long week. Not a lot going on at work. Friday we're having a pizza party to celebrate our sales last month. We often have these. Not a bad deal really. Still, I'll be glad when I can get out of there for a couple of days. Even if I don't plan on doing anything this weekend. It's just nice to be able to relax.
Have a good weekend everyone.
Sweet DreamsAm lying here dreaming,
Closed eyes and bated breath;
Your scent all over me,
Feels like a smoke ring . . .
Untouchable, unattainable,
Uncatcheable;
In your arms I am nothing and everything . . .
Will you kiss me?
Like this,
I fall,
Tears dripping from helpless lashes
That rise and fall like
Hunting lips,
Wide open to reveal my eyes;
Like the searching tongue that caresses
And pursues,
My open, seeking eyes are revealing you.
And if you will only understand me,
Believe me when I promise you I am
Not going to destroy you,
Not going to break you . . .
We shall fly untouched, unbreakable,
Undeniable . . .
Be not afraid when I kiss you,
Do not fear that I shall hurt you,
But, more truthfully,
Do not fear the pain,
For pain in love between two hearts
Is what makes love far more exquisite
Than lust or temporary need . . .
And I need you,
But like oxygen,
Pure and clear,
You grant me light,
You give me crystalline e
Don't Lie To Your MotherMrs. Smith had always suspected her son, Mike, was having an intimate relationship with his roommate, Jennifer.
One night, Mike invites his mother over for dinner. All thru the night, Mrs. Smith watched Mike and Jennifer interact, and was pretty sure there was more than met the eye. Mike saw his mother watching them and assured her that they were just roommates.
A few nights later, Jennifer went to Mike with a problem.
"Ever since your mother was here for dinner, I have been unable to find the gravy ladle. Do you think she took it?"
Mike replied, "I doubt it, but I'll e-mail her and ask her anyway."
Mike sat down at the computer and composed the following e-mail:
Dearest Mother,
I'm not saying you did take the gravy ladle, and I'm not saying you did not take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains, since you were here for dinner, we have been unable to find the ladle.
Love always,
Mike
Two days later, Mike received the following reply from his mother:
Dearest Michael,
I
SupermanThis girl walks into a bar and sees this really cute guy sitting at the bar. She walks up to him and asks him what he's drinking. He replies "magic beer." The girl looks at him weirdly and says that he is crazy, so the guy says watch this and takes a sip and jumps out the window flies around the building three times comes in and sits back down. The girl grabs his beer and jumps out the window falls to the ground and dies.
The bartender looks up and says, "Superman you're such an asshole when you're drunk!"
Ok Cherrys Real Life Cyber Sex Haha This Is Great Lmfoa Lol Enjoy Peace............real life cyber sex
Posted: 7/27/2007 1:08:58 PM
Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "cybersex." Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does...
Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day. I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.
Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?
Wellhung: OK
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft m
Get Off The FenceThe indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this-Decide what you want.
New Video ExperimentMy latest video experiment.A bit more time consuming make but I like results thus far.More to come...
That Am A Bad Idear.About 90% of actions that started with the thought, "I bet I could fit that up there," end very badly.
This Is A FarewellAfter today I will no longer have a cherry tap/fubar account. If any of you would like to reach me you can email me at either yepitsmen07@yahoo.com or tazzlilgirl@aol.com. It has been fun but I have not had a lot of time to get on here and chat. Hope you all have a great time. Thanks for all the fun times.
Christy
Anyone Who's Into Rock, Metal, Punk, Emo, Goth, Etc Music..Does anyone know about any good upcoming shows that are worth attending in the Arizona area? I've been pretty disappointed with the ones i've been to recently and i thought i'd try some recommendations instead.. :D Ty Anyone who gives me their suggestions..
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Ok Cherrys The Wedding Ring,true Story Live And Learn Lol...............The Wedding Ring.. 07-28-2007
Body: True Story from Houston Medical Center
A man went to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his
penis.
According to the Nurse attending, the patient's girl friend found the
ring in his pants pocket and she got so mad at him, she used petroleum
jelly to slip the ring on his penis while he was asleep.
I don't know what's worse:
1) Having your girl friend find out you're married.
2) Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your penis.
3) Or finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring. OMG WOW FUNNY BUT TRUE MM OK CHEERS(DIAMOND DANDY RANDY)
Phone FuckToday is our day. I can't even describe the complete excitement I feel when I know you are going to call. I dreamt of you all last night, and woke up deliciously wet and needy...for you. You are my cyber lover, but I know that the online chats, the cam, and now the phone calls are the very hot and exciting steps we are taking until we reach the ultimate goal in our relationship...our live meeting.
My phone rings, right on time and I answer. Your "Hello" sends an incredible ache right down to my pussy making me so wet and my heart beat fast. I close my eyes and let your voice take me right to where you are.
You open the door to the motel room, and pull me inside. We are breathless as we see each other for the very first time, and our mouths waste no time but to instantly lock in a passionate kiss. Our lips crush together and tongues explore and become intimately acquainted. You taste more lovely than I ever imagined. Our hands roam everywhere, hastily removing each other's clothi
S W E E T 6 9You are late coming home from work, as you had a business meeting to attend. It is getting late, and although I do love my "alone" time, I find that I am missing you. I jump on our bed and lay across it, catching up on my reading. The girlie novel that I am engrossed in, gets so hot that soon I find I am turned on and wet..so horny and wanting you to hurry home.
I call your mobile phone, and you are in the car just a few blocks from our house. I purr into the phone that I am missing you so much, and that I am very needy for your cock. You tell me you have been thinking about me all night as well, and to be ready for you. You left before the dinner was over and didnt' get your dessert, so you are craving a taste of my sweet pussy.
I hear you enter the house, throw the keys on the table, and soon your footsteps are on the stairs. I have already dressed in a sexxxy nightie for you, and have been masturbating since our phone conversation. You come in through the doorway to our bedro
Hand In My Pantiesim thinking of you
right now
hand in my panties
thinking about your
9 am meeting
wondering what she is like
lucky lady
wondering if she is sitting close
wondering if you are speaking to her
with your sexiest tone in your voice
although i do not think you can help that at all
I am wet
thinking about her
thinking about her looking at you
such a lucky lady to be able to see you in the flesh
she has no idea how much I would love to be her right now
next to you
in that chair
talking some BLAH BLAH BLAH about whatever...it wouldn't even matter
as long as I was near you
right there
next to you
my leg
accidentally touching yours
i wonder
what is she thinking of you?
does she notice those naughty eyes
undressing her?
looking at her nipples through her shirt
wondering if her panties are wet
at hearing you
seeing you
knowing about your talents
of course...
she doesnt know about your talents the way i do
but i wonder
i have to wonder
if her hand
slipped into y
Brickyard 400well it's the brickyard time here in indiana and i can't wait big huge party in speedway tonight and the race tommarrow right now it's raining here but i dont care a little rain never hurt anybody i think it's funny when whinnyass people run from the rain,anyways just as long as it don't rain dureing the race i dont care.anyways you all have a great day
Quote Of The DayInjuring your enemy puts you below your enemy revenging and injury makes you even forgiving it sets you above.
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Jer's Favorite Song..This Song Has Become Something I Listen To Alot Now. Since Tuesday Anywayz...My Best Friend Jer Left For Basic For 4 Months...And He's Been Helpin Me Thru Alot Of Stuff Lately So When I Think Of This Song Or Hear It...It Helps Thru Things...Cuz Of Him..
PLAIN WHITE T'S LYRICS
"Hey There Delilah"
Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true
Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me
Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we kne
Hustle No More?... Almost...The Hustle almost checked out for good.
So y'all know I had my tonsils removed on Wednesday. And last night i had a hemirage in my throat. Puked blood for like 3 hours it was pretty much awesome. Blood pressure dropped to 83/42 and my hemoglobin level dropped to 30/10 pretty much awesome.
It looked like I was in the Exsersist. Projectile puking straight blood. Covered myself it in. Passing out...it was awesome. I guess I am lucky to be here though. So hooraa keep the party rockin lol!
LifeLife
By: Jen Peterson
Life doesn't always seem to go our way,
it being hard to forget the pain,
choosing whether to laugh or cry.
My mind travels far, in a sea of emotions,
sometimes wondering to run through a feild of dreams.
Most of your feelins you tend to hide,
not letting them out and locking them up in side.
You act like nothings wrong,
wanting to let loose your feelings and not care.
Putting up a front and pretending to be strong,
thinking all alone wishing to be dared.
Someday your feelings will shine and only then true happiness you'll find.
GoneGone
By: Jen Peterson
Yesterday is gone, today is here and tomorrow is to come.
You may not know it but you live with fear,
you never know when your life will end.
With your family more time time you'll spend,
you fear today and you'll fear tomorrow before your life is through.
Your family and friends will be in sorrow,
it's not our fault; well most of the time.
Enjoy your life now, relax and unwind.
Some of us aren't so lucky, some of us don't even have a chance.
If your mischievious with the devil, you'll dance.
But like you who came from above,
someday you'll go back up there assending like a dove.
GOD will accept you with open arms,
He'll accept all your grace and glory.
We'll never forget you and we love you until the end.
The saddest part about this is that you were my friend.
*~* In Loving Memory of Ardyce *~*
Midnight AngelMidnight Angel
By: Jen Peterson
Looking up at the stars late at night.
A shooting angel flys by,
make a wish!
Floating up in the sky as high as a kite,
close your eyes, say amen,
blow her a kiss,
considering and believing anything is possible,
waiting for the wish you made to come true.
If it shall be granted,
a dream never nonprofitable, so priceless,
fragile and full of grace.
Knowing the night is filled of black magic,
the shinning stars collide,
as if it were tragic!
Seeing the earth evolve around the moon,
watching as daylight will come out soon,
dreaming of that night.
Didn't want it to end,
awaiting as your dream will soon turn to dust of love.
Midnight Angel leaves in peace,
as she floats up above.
11:09 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
thinking
Category: Writing and Poetry
If I Knew
by: Jen Peterson
If I knew what the world was like,
would I st
Daily Horoscope: AquariusFor July 29,2007
Do something radical: practice total self-acceptance. That means no judgment, no rush to 'improve.' Just see yourself and accept yourself exactly as you are. It takes practice, but the rewards are worth it.
You Are So SpecialYou are so special!
Today is ".. Buddy Day".
Send this to your ..
friends - even me, if I'm one of them - and see how many you
get today! ~xoxo!!
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Free Christian Clipart for your website. Quality Christian clipart to supply ... a list of other Christian web sites offering free clipart. Christian Poetry ...
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Why Would You Do It?Why would you do it?
You turned me black and blue,
what the hell , was I to do.
you did it to me now and then,
I still rember way back when,
you slamed my head agenst that wall,
I didn't want you to kill your self thats all.
i told you suiside was not the way,
that is Always what you heard me say.
you didn't beleave then ,
you don't beleave me now,
fine it is two clicks and one pow,
But I won't show you how.
done by Jason Borchard
Baby GirlBaby girl
You walked into my life from out of the blue,
I had no clue what to do.
You make my heart skip a beat,
it was as though as I was on lonely street.
When I look at your face,
You send my heart to a beutiful place.
Me and you seem so right,
we never will fight.
we may bicker, and bitch,
But I will always fill rich.
I want you by my side,
To watch the ocean tide,
Roll in and out,
So I will be there to hold you, when you cry and shout.
I hope you feel what I feel,
Beacuse you make this life so real.
Done by Jason Borchard
New VidMy experimenting continues.This clip is only 1:30 but it took me about three hours to make.
Wytches WrathA warning plank is hanging there to go not past,but if you dare
Tread lightly on the forest path;
provoke not the witch's wrath.
Look just beyond the fallen pin.
Lines that mark the witch's realm.
A magical place, a sacred ground
be silent stay be honor bound.
For sisters the circle tends...
chanting spells into the wind.
Herbs and roots, a healing prayer gold or silver is the fare.
And as you go the secret keep or visions come to you in sleep.
Tread lightly on the forest path do not provoke the witches wrath.
Improve Your Sex LifeFive tips to improve your sex life right now!
Does your sex life lack luster and imagination? Need a way to give it a kick start? Try one of the five ideas below guaranteed to inspire passionate play tonight!
Communicate
You'd be surprised to learn how many couples don't talk about what they want, or don't want, in bed. This is one area that can always be improved. Talk about your fantasies together, play a game of truth or dare or take turns telling each other what you'd like to do to the other person.
Read Together
Inspiration comes in many forms, and many times it is from a great book. Get yours going by starting a library of sensual books. Make sure your collection has a variety of topics such as how-to topics, prose and idea books.
Make A To Do Jar
Separately write twenty things you'd like to try. Cut them out and fold them up. Put the forty ideas in a jar. Each week, individually take out a slip of paper. Don't show each other your slips of paper. Before the week i
Sometimes...You scored as Biting, When it comes to being kinky, your biggest turn on is biting. You love the ectasy of teeth sinking into your flesh, and are probably willing to return the favor. Sex just isn't sex without using your teeth.Biting100% Bondage92% Chains/Handcuffs83% Whips83% Blind Folds75% Blood33% What's Your Kinky Turn On?created with QuizFarm.com
With Exception To The Gold... I'm More Of A Silver ChickWhat Your Black Outfit Means
You're a sophisticated woman with big city taste.
You have a strong creative force - even if you don't wear the boldest clothes.
You tend to intimidate people. But the right guy won't be intimidated by you!
Designer match: Dolce & Gabbana
Signature accessory: Gold framed sunglasses
How Your Favorite Outfit Tells What Kind of Girl You Are
A Three Word EmotionA four letter word
Combined with I and You
Just to tell someone
That powerful word
To someone else
And to them, it could only mean so much
Like a child and a mother.
Love combined with I and You
Is not just to tell someone
But would also describe something else
An emotion that would fall between happy and calm
But you would never know which
Until you take the time.
Love brings joy to everyone that thinks about it
But would then, just then
Would the not have any worries
Because they thought about love
That three word emotion
As to what I refer to it as
That emotion you share and say,
I love you
Love Your Friends Day........I WROTE YOUR NAME ON A PIECE OF PAPER BUT I ACCIDENTALLY THREW IT AWAY. I WROTE YOUR NAME ON MY HAND, BUT IT WASHED AWAY. I WROTE YOUR NAME IN THE SAND, BUT THE WAVES WHISPERED IT AWAY. I WROTE YOUR NAME IN MY HEART, AND FOREVER IT WILL STAY."""" SEND THIS TO EVERYONE U LOVE, INCLUDING ME. IF U SEND THIS TO 10 PEOPLE IN THE NEXT 45 MINUTES, THEN TOMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY EVER!! """ Today is love your friends day. Send this to all your friends and me if I am one. If you get 7 back then you're LOVED
PassionateWe lay hand in hand, head to head, eye to eye
The stars staring down, as if they were in envy
The moon radiating light upon us, as if it we were a showcase
The passion which was united, a passion of true love
Passion which wrote upon paper, can never portray my passion for you
True passion is like a song, A never ending list of cords and notes
An innovation of a creative mind, written from the soul and heart
A never ending canvas of joys and memories
True passion can never die, it can never fade away, for it lies deep down
You are my true passion, my true calling, my true love
Love You Solove you so
I love you for being a source of motivation
I love you for your dedication
I love you for your advice and your corrections
I love you for your devotion
I love you for bringing waves of hope
I love it when you crack me up with your jokes
I love you for encouraging me when my back is against the rope
I love you for strengthening me to go over the sloop
I love you even when you make me angry
I love you because you always make me happy
I love you for your sincerity
I love you for always keeping me and my life clean and tidy
I love you for your compassion
I love you for your love and affection
I love you for your goals and your ambitions
I love you for always being there for me with no hesitation
Fuck Itfuck it
This is my four-letter word poem.
You know the one
That gets you hits.
And it goes something like this:
F-U-C-K IT!
Want to be it?
Don't know how to do it?
Just tell it
Like it is.
Only you can do it.
If it's from the heart,
It's a start.
If they don't like it,
Hey, no sweat,
Never mind.
F-U-C-K IT!
Life's too short
to waste time on idiots.
Bigots
Who criticize all the time.
Anal retentive!
Everything's relative.
Profanity, Vulgarity,
Telling, spelling,
Subject, reject,
Hey lighten up, baby!
This is poetry!
It's free,
Meant to be,
Not to please.
So tell them,
Like me:
F-U-C-K IT!
You're in love.
Happens to the best of us.
When it works,
It's bliss.
If not,
It hurts.
Can't miss.
And worse,
It's really hard
To say
F-U-C-K IT!
Life seems vain.
You're in pain.
Want to open veins.
Get run over by a train.
Blow your brains.
Don't think I don't know it.
I get it.
I've been there before.
Sometimes
Lust Lust LustHe lusts for her
Her apple breasts
Beneath her vest
Taste the best
Lust, Lust, Lust
Three women on the go
Yet happiness does not flow
It is only
Lust, Lust, Lust
Her apple breasts
Beneath her vest
Taste the best
The natural flow of wetness
He hopes to taste once more
Maybe its vanilla flavor
Will be one better than before
Lust, Lust, Lust
Lost in focus
Lost in defense
Can't do his job
Till he scores once more
Now humble, no longer hardcore
Only suffering from lust hangover
Her apple breast
Beneath her vest
Has just put him to the test
The sweet fluid of sex
Displaying something complex
Lust, Lust, Lust
Save him
He is an emotional wreck
For he still lusts after his Ex!
What Is Lovewhat is love
What is it with Love
That makes me
then breaks me?
When in love
Do I truly love?
Is it really love
Or do I think that I love?
Maybe I just love being in love
Or love the idea of being in love?
I spent my whole life chasing love.
In the end the one thing I truly love
Could just be the meir pursuit of love
Understand The NightHow Smokes the Smolder
at neck, at
shoulder, that
stokes a man
as he grows
older. Nothing
rages, nothing
fumes. No one
races through
the rooms,
alarmed. How
casually he's
armed. How
gradually arises
what surprises
in his mirrors.
Unawares, as
fall runs colder,
pulls he only
slightly tighter
his good wool
sweater, thinner
than ever now
at elbow,
at shoulder.
What Is BeautyBeauty is the weather,
Beauties in the rain,
Beauty is his smile
Beauty is insane.
Beauty needs no explanation
No reason of being there
Beauty is his love for you
He’s the one that’s always there
Beauty is his talent
One of many blessings
His smile is beauty in pure form
At least that’s what in guessing
His beauty is my addiction
His laugh my obsession
His eyes are my kryptonite
He’s the drug I must take without succession
Without him I’m hopeless
Like an alcoholic without drink
There’s nothing I can do without him
He’s my one and only shrink
Beauty is the weather,
Beauties in the rain,
Beauty is his smile
Beauty is insane.
A Marriage Of TwoA marriage of two
is for love that is true
A marriage of two
is always something new
A marriage of two
happens sometimes out of the blue
A marriage of two
is worth it when its due
A marriage of two
is a marriage of trust
Many can find themselves lost
It can be an expensive cost
They are only very few
who have a clue
of when love accrues
A marriage of two
is about love making
It is not about
money raking
A marriage of two
can be bad
A marriage of two
can be sad
You should only be glad if
A marriage of two
is for love that is true
What Is RomanceRomance is like love, it has no color nor an age,
It cannnot be explained in a single word or phrase.
Romantic or not, anyone can relate,
especially those with any affection to anyone or anything.
Romance is overrated, or overrated is exaggerated,
meaning, evryone has their own opinion, on its definition.
To have some affection towards another,
or a interest in your own contributions, is like the feelings
of romantic persuader, dwelling to their own mechasisms.
Romance is passion, the involvement of strong feelings.
It may also be a burden if obsession has penetrated.
But, who can define what Romance really mean?
is it the young couple's who use it as pass time,
or the old folks, who say it is their secret.
I honestly cannot say, for romance to me is like trying to
explain, what makes a rose an attribution to my opposite sex.
I do not try to infer on own life, but this word has brought
an attraction to my mind.
Romance is a facination, like a magicians dedica
The Moon And MeIn the solice of the moon
beneath it's shimmering light
all the world is still
atleast it seems....tonight
the whisper of the wind
as it rushes over me
sounds like voices chanting
when it rustles through the trees
alone in thoughts
I ponder
existance
reality
alone there
my heart is peaceful
once laden with fear and wonder
for all the tears I've cried
are sunk and now asunder
I feel a power rise in me
as it shimmers upon my skin
alone like me; it radiats
and manages to force a grin
we're not so different
the moon and me
both mysterious
and haunting
and bound
to the lives we lead
both secretly powerful
not flaunting our wears
both distant
and lovely
ever-changing
and fair
outwardly alone
but like secret lovers
we sneak
into the darness of the night
to comfort
to empower
to dream
Fare Thee Wellyour kryptonite (for rjb)
Category: Writing and Poetry
man of steel
you make me swill
and soar and swoon
so intoxicating
words
enticing
and invigorating
making me moist and warm
so deep in thought
with a swarm of emotion
tempting you
to take a swim in my ocean
let me fuel your passion
make your fires burn
be the object of your fantasies
teach me
I can learn
let me be
the whispers in your ear
the sweat upon your skin
let me push you away a little
just to pull you close again
i wanna make you weak
make you lose control
bewitch your mind
and make you mine
even if it takes some time
don't ask me why
don't tell me no
don't try to fight
I wanna be your
kryptonite
" A "Abracadabra- A word from the Jewish mystical tradition of Qabala. Its root is the name of the Gnostic deity Abraxas, meaning "hurt me not". It is said to possess magickal powers, especially of protection from illness.
Adept- An individual who through serious study and accomplishments is highly prficient in a praticluar magickal way.
Aeromancy- Divination by the stars.
Aisling- Ireland: Dream or Vision. In the many Irish tales having this title, the person who dreams sees a speir-bhean or vision-woman from the Otherworlds, pronounced "ash-leen".
Aka- The cord between the astral body and the physical body, most likely this concept is derived from the biblical reference to a "silver cord" connected the body and the soul.
Akasha- The fifth element of magick and the occult, this is the spiritual ether, often called the "Otherworld".
Akashic Records- Edward Cayce's concept which states that somewhere there is a universal hall of data about past lives, magic, healing,
Fire Bad....and that was the last time I lit my head on fire. I mean, the last time I did it on purpose. Accidents do happen.
The Purina DietThe Purina Diet
I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh!
I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices
and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head.
I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her. Horrified, she aske
About The Boys• Construction Began: 2006 • Opening: Summer 2009
• Cost: $1 Billion • Location: Arlington, TX
• Capacity: 80,000-100,000 • Surface: Grass
This will be the largest NFL venue ever built, spanning twice the distance of the St. Louis Gateway Arch, with a domed roof structure high enough to house the Statue of Liberty.
Cowboys Stadium
When the Dallas Cowboys leave Texas Stadium after the 2008 season they will be leaving many memories there, but the signature hole in the roof will go with them to their new stadium. For more than 30 years, the Cowboys have been playing at Texas Stadium, one of the most recognizable stadiums in football. However, just like every other team in the NFL, the Cowboys are constructing a new state of the art stadium in Arlington. Since the late 1990s team officials have been traveling the country, visiting the newest stadiums in order to develop the greatest stadium in the league. Designed by HKS Architects, Inc. the new home of the Cowboys will beco
My Head HurtsMy head hurts. Mostly because I've been using it to hammer nails.
I Miss Our Funi miss our fun call:ASTROWORLD i mean how can these asshole take down our only fun place to be in and hang out while riding rides and stuff.NOW ITS FUCKING GONE.THE WHOLE FUCKING PROPTERY IS PROBABLY GONNA TURN INTO FUCKING STORES.BOOOOO
What The Hecki had a old profile which was deleted somehow so i am sending out a blog for all my friends to hook me up on the new 1 i made thanks for all ur help
The GuaranteeLast year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy-efficient kind.
Yesterday, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the windows had been installed a whole year ago and I hadn't paid for them yet.
Now just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So I told him just exactly what his fast-talking sales guy had told ME last year... namely, that in just ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves!
"Helllooooo"? (I told him). "It's been a year"
There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up....
He hasn't called back, probably too embarrassed about forgetting the guarantee they made me. Bet he won't underestimate a blonde anymore.
The Gloves JokeA young man wished to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note -- romantic, but not too personal.
Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he bought a pair of white gloves; the younger sister purchased a pair of panties for herself.
During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents first, he sealed his package and mailed it to his sweetheart along with this note:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Darling,
I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears short ones that are easy to remove.
These are a delicate shade, but the lady I
The Pickle-slicerA husband went home after working at his job in a restaurant. His wife noticed he seemed a little bit aggravated so she asked him what was wrong. After some coaxing, he finally told her that he had been having an urge to put his dick in the pickle-slicer at work. His wife was astonished and told him he should really do something about that. An urge like that could not be healthy at all. He said that he would and they left it at that.
A week later, the husband came home smiling and completely happy. His wife asked him what happened that would put him in such a good mood. He said, "I finally did it! I put my dick in the pickle-slicer." The wife asked, "Well, what happened?" Husband: "Oh, well I was fired." Wife: "I mean, what happened with the pickle-slicer?"
Husband: "Oh, she got fired too!"
One Night A Guy & A Girl WereOne night a guy & a girl were
driving home from the movies. The
boy sensed there was
something wrong because of the painful
silence they shared between the..
that night. The girl then asked the boy to pull over
because she wanted to talk. She told him that her
feelings had changed & that it was time to move on.
A silent tear slid down his cheek as he
slowly reached into his pocket & passed her a folded note.
At that moment, a drunk driver was speeding down
that very same street. He swerved
right into the drivers seat, killing the boy.
Miraculously, the girl survived. Remembering the note, she
pulled it out & read it.
"Without your love, I would die."
If u post this on a bulletin in 5 minutes
someone special will message or call you.!!!!!! !!!!!!!!
put this on 4 video comments within 15 mins,if u do, sum one u love will surprise u sum how!! If u don't , u will lose ur love.!
its so scary coz it works xxxx
Call Me Crazy.Call me crazy if you must. But I stand by my statement that some nipples are neat.
Help Her TooHow about this pretty lady too...She has been nice to me and deserves some more love too! J
bethnlt@ fubar
Please Help Amie For Me...Amie is a sweetie too...Such exotic eyes, she has been so polite when I have spoken to her. The least I can do is help her out...J.
Amie@ fubar
My Little Soldier...My little soldier I know you miss me so
Cause I miss you too
I am sorry but, Santa cannot bring me home this
year for you
I have to stay so other little soldiers
are safe too
I long to hold you close to me
see how much you've grown
I have to stay, I just wanted you to know
My little soldier,
I love you too.
67Today's Quote
My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just to enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate.
-Thornton Wilder
The Perfect DayPerfect Day for a Woman:
8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses.
8:30 Weigh 5 lb. lighter than yesterday.
8:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants.
9:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil.
10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer.
10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, and comb out.
12:00 Lunch with best friend at an outdoor café.
12:45 Notice ex-boyfriend's wife, she has gained 30 lbs.
1:00 Shopping with friends.
3:00 Nap.
4:00 A dozen roses delivered by florist. Card is from a secret admirer.
4:15 Light workout at club followed by a gentle massage.
5:30 Pick outfit for dinner. Primp before mirror.
7:30 Candlelight dinner for two, followed by dancing.
10:00 Hot shower. Alone.
10:30 Make love.
11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling.
11:15 Fall asleep in his big, strong arms.
Perfect Day for a Man:
Two Starving Bums,,,lol,,,eeewwweeeThese two starving bums are walking through an alley when one of them sees a dead cat. He runs over, sits down and starts to eat the cat, tearing the meat from its limbs.
He says to the other bum, "Hey, I know you're hungry, too. Why don't you eat some of this cat?"
"Hell no!" replies the second bum, "That cat's been dead for days, he's all stiff and cold and smelly!"
The first bum says, "Okay, suit yourself," and continues to eat everything, skin, muscle, guts, all but the skeleton.
A few hours later as they are walking down the street the first bum says, "Oh, I don't feel so good. I think there might have been something wrong with that cat." And just then, he pukes up a huge puddle of rotten cat flesh and guts with stomach bile mixed in, all half digested and looking like mush.
The second bum sits down next to the puddle and says, "Now you're talking! It's been months since I had a WARM meal!"
BeautifulOne day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word 'beautiful' in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said.
"Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny.
"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!'"
Vengence Is Mine!One day a construction worker left the job a little early, and when he got home he found his wife in bed with another man. Purple with rage, he hauled the man down the stairs and into the garage where he proceeded to secure his dick in a vice.
Utterly terrified, the man screamed, "Stop, stop! you're not going to cut it off, are you? ARE YOU?"
"Nope," replied the construction worker, "You are...I'm going to set the garage on fire."
An Excellent Costume Party IdeaThere was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party... Then he had a bright idea.
When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on.
"What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host.
"A premature ejaculation," said the man. "I just came in my pants!"
Tell Tale Signs Of A Single ManA guy walks into a supermarket and buys the following items:
1 toothbrush
1 tube of toothpaste
1 roll of toiletpaper
1 frozen dinner
1 can of pop
1 box of cereal
The woman behind the counter says, "so you are single huh?"
The man replies very sarcastically, "why would you guess that, because I am buying 1 of everything?"
The woman replies, "no, because you are ugly."
What's The Difference...What's the difference between a penis and a prick?
A penis is fun, sexy and satisfying... A prick is the guy who owns it.
Come Judegement DayEverybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. The Lord comes and says "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter."
Said and done, the next time The Lord looked the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man.
The Lord got mad and said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"
And the man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here"
The Smartest Man In The WorldThere were 3 people in a crashing plane, the smartest man in the world, the president of the USA, and a little girl. There were only two parachutes.
The smartest man in the world stood up and said, "The people who would benefit the world the most should be the ones who get the parachutes and I being the smartest man am one of those."
With that he grabbed one and jumped out.
The president looks at the little girl and says "I've led a good long life, you take the last parachute."
And the little girl replies, "Don't worry, we can both have one, the smartest man in the world just jumped out with my backpack."
A Close ShaveA man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.
"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."
The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced.
After a few strokes, the client asks in garbled speech, "And what if I swallow it?"
"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."
One Dark Night In The Small TownOne dark night in the small town of Garfield , NJ, a fire started inside the local sausage factory. In a blink the building was engulfed in flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.
When the first volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the sausage company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All of our secret sausage recipes are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will donate $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out and delivers them to me!"
But the roaring flames held the firefighters off. Soon more fire departments had to be called in because the situation became desperate. As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer to extricate the secret recipes was now $100,000 to the fire department that could save them.
Suddenly from up the road, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the fire engine of the nearby Lodi , NJ volunteer fire departmen
On The Construction SiteThere was this Spanish guy, this Korean guy and this Russian guy all working for the same construction company.
At the beginning of the day the boss comes out and says to the Spanish guy, "You're in charge of the cement."
Then he said to the Russian guy, "You're in charge of the dirt."
Then he said to the Korean guy, "You're in charge of the supplies."
Then he said, "I'm gonna be back at the end of the day to check on your work. It better be good or you're fired." So they all go off to go get their work done.
At the end of the day, the boss comes back to check on their work. He looks at the big pile of cement and goes, "Good work," to the Spanish guy.
Then he looks at the big pile of dirt and says, "Good work," to the Russian guy.
Then he couldn't find the Korean guy so he asks, "Where the heck is the Korean guy?"
All of a sudden, the Korean guy jumps out from behind the big pile of dirt and yells, " SUPPLIES!"
The Top Ten Things Not To Say To A Naked Man1 This explains your car.
2 I never saw one like that before.
3 But it still works, right?
4 Are you cold?
5 I guess this makes me the early bird.
6 Ahhhh, it's cute.
7 Can I be honest with you?
8 Maybe it looks better in natural light.
9 Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
10 Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
Blaming The DogA guy goes to pick up his date for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents. He has a bad case of gas and really needs to relieve some pressure.
Then, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides that he can let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think that the dog did it.
He farts, and the woman yells, "Spot, get down from there."
The guy thinks, "Great, they think the dog did it." He releases another fart, and the woman again yells for the dog to get down.
This goes on for a couple more farts.
Finally the woman yells, "Dammit Spot, get down before he shits on you."
I Hate.I hate your guts.
Not you, just your guts. Because guts are gross.
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This Knot I KnitThis knot I knit,
To know the thing, I know not yet,
That I may see,
The man that shall my husband be,
How he goes, and what he wears,
And what he does, all days and years.
Crow Omens
One's lucky,
Two's unlucky,
Three is health,
Four is wealth,
Five is sickness
And six is death.
Whenever the cat of the house is black,
Its lasses of lovers will have no lack.
Spell of Power
One-ery, two-ery,
Ziccary zan; Hollow bone, crack a bone,
Ninery ten:
Spitery spot,
It must be done;
Twiddleum twaddleum
Twenty ONE. 1
This Knot I KnitTo know the thing, I know not yet,
That I may see,
The man that shall my husband be,
How he goes, and what he wears,
And what he does, all days and years.
Crow Omens
One's lucky,
Two's unlucky,
Three is health,
Four is wealth,
Five is sickness
And six is death.
Whenever the cat of the house is black,
Its lasses of lovers will have no lack.
Spell of Power
One-ery, two-ery,
Ziccary zan; Hollow bone, crack a bone,
Ninery ten:
Spitery spot,
It must be done;
Twiddleum twaddleum
Twenty ONE. 1
Another SurveyAnother survey released today
Why they bother I fail to see
Saying that men prefer sex it seems
On days beginning with the letter 't'
So is it Tuesday’s and Thursday’s
Or tomorrow and today
Partying Or ClubbingSaturday night on the town
Either partying or clubbing
The object to get someone into bed
Some sights turn you on
Some just turn your stomach
While others turn your head
Long legged fillies
With a skirt so short
It’s little more than a belt
Loose gaping blouses
And breasts unrestrained
Looking like they’ve just been felt
When alcohol takes over
People are then attracted
To all that comes into view
The good looking and the fit
Say they never bed an ugly partner
But they wake up with a few
Each long slender beauty
Has a man on her arm
Or a short dumpy friend
As alcohol slowly takes its toll
It’s the short dumpy bird
Gets the guy in the end
Here Is Something Different For You Guys...Rose are red pickles are green i love your legs & what's in between.
I like your style i like your class but most of all i like your ass!
I'm a cool girl in a cool town it takes a real mother fucker to put me down!
Kissing is a sport, fucking is a game guys get all the pleasure girls get all the pain! The guy says "i love you" believe it's true, 9 months later he says hell with you! The baby is a bastered the mother is a whore all this wouldn't of happen if the rubber wouldn't of torn! Sex is when a guys communication enters a girl's information... If you need a demonstration lie down!!!
__________________
FuCk WhAt YoU hEaRd ReCoGnIzE WhAt YoU sEe LoVe YoUr HaTeRs ThEy'Re YoUr BiGgEsT FaNs..
Reply With Quote
The Theory Of Multiple IntelligencesSternberg's Conceptions
Robert J. Sternberg has devoted much of his career to the study of various conceptions of human intelligence. Starting with his Triarchic Theory of Human Intelligence (Sternberg, 1985), he has expanded on his view of human ability and success. Successful intelligence is defined as that set of mental abilities used to achieve one's goals in life, given a socio-cultural context, through adaptation to, selection of, and shaping of environments. Successful intelligence involves three aspects that are interrelated but largely distinct: analytical, creative, and practical thinking (Sternberg, 1998). Practical Intelligence is the ability to size up a situation well, to be able to determine how to achieve goals, to display awareness to the world around you, and to display interest in the world at large (Sternberg, 1990; Sternberg et al., 2000; Wagner, 2000). Prof. Sternberg is working on several projects that examine the interrelation of his various conceptions of a
We've All Been HereWhen the truth is found to be lies
And all the joy within you dies
Don't you want somebody to love
Don't you need somebody to love
Wouldn't you love somebody to love
You better find somebody to love
When the garden flowers baby are dead yes
And your mind is full of red
Don't you want somebody to love
Don't you need somebody to love
Wouldn't you love somebody to love
You better find somebody to love
Your eyes, I say your eyes may look like his
But in your head baby I'm afraid you don't know where it is
Don't you want somebody to love
Don't you need somebody to love
Wouldn't you love somebody to love
You better find somebody to love
Tears are running ah running down your breast
And your friends baby they treat you like a guest
Don't you want somebody to love
Don't you need somebody to love
Wouldn't you love somebody to love
You better find somebody to love
Love This Shit...Its the time of the season
When love runs high
And this time, give it to me easy
And let me try with pleasured hands
To take you in the sun to promised lands
To show you everyone
Its the time of the season for loving
Whats your name? whos your daddy?
Is he rich like me?
Has he taken any time
To show you what you need to live?
Tell it to me slowly; tell you what
I really want to know
Its the time of the season for loving
Its the time of the season
When love runs high
And this time give it to me easy
And let me try
*oh, rock you in the sun
*oh, rock you everyone
Oh, loving
Whats your name? whos your daddy?
Is he rich like me?
Has he taken any time
To show you what you need to live?
Tell it to me slowly; tell you what
I really want to know
Its the time of the season for loving
Its the time of the season
And its time for loving
Stolen My HeartWe watch the season pull up its own stakes
And catch the last weekend of the last week
Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced,
Another sun soaked season fades away
You have stolen my heart
Invitation only, grand farewells
Crash the best one, of the best ones
Clear liquor and cloudy eyed, too early to say goodnight
You have stolen my heart
And from the ballroom floor we are in celebration
One good stretch before our hibernation
Our dreams assured and we all, will sleep well
You have stolen
You have stolen my heart
I watch you spin around in your highest heels
You are the best one, of the best ones
We all look like we feel
You have stolen my
You have stolen my heart
PoemOur love springs eternal,
Warm as an open flame.
When we're in eachothers arms,
My heart only he can claim.
The time we spent together,
Is forever on my mind.
I've never been in love like this,
A man like him I'll never find.
We love eachother completely,
He'll always have my heart.
Whenever he comes near to me,
I never want to part.
Now heed these words I tell you,
If you find true love hold on.
Don't let go for anything,
Don't treat him like a pawn.
PoemCome take a walk with me,
Along the moonlit sand.
No words need be spoken,
Joined together hand in hand.
The full moon is rising,
The waves crashing around.
The sound of the ocean soothing,
Only our footprints left on the ground.
I study you in the moonlight,
Your face etched in my mind.
Your hair tumbles over your forehead,
How are you so beautiful and kind.
I know that luck is with me,
When I look into your eyes.
All I see is perfection,
From the sand you begin to rise.
So on this moonlit beach,
My heart begins to race.
As you kiss my lips,
A single tear rolls down my face.
PoemStormy clouds are brewing,
There's bad weather on the way.
Just like our emotions,
Making things harder to say.
For every two steps forward,
We have to take one back.
No road is ever paved with gold,
Peace of mind is what we lack.
Of course there's always bad times,
But also there is good.
But if we stick together,
Accomplish anything yes we would.
Since the beggining of time,
People have always fought.
Still they toughed it out,
Eachothers love is what they sought.
So everything is alright,
I know that we'll be fine.
As long as we remain true,
your love will always be mine.
102 Dalmations .........lmmfao Ok, I must be realllly super a$$ bored cuz I came up with THIS, for all their names .......
This one
That one
The other one
The lazy one
The crazy one
The cute one
This one here
That one there
The first one
The last one
The middle one
The dumb one
The smart one
The first male
The first female
The one that drools
The one that craps all over
The one that brings mud in the house
The messy one
The clean one
The dopey one
The mean one
The nice one
The one that hates his food
The one has to have special water
The one that bites
The one that barks
The one that's always bored
The artistic one
The musical one
This one has a lot of gas
The bitchy one
The one that has too many fleas
The one with the most spots
The one with the most white
The one with the most black
The one with his 'special' collar
The one that loves to chew
The one that is color blind
The one that eats everything
The one that pukes all over
The picky one
The snotty one
The ski
Very Funny Joke Now Laugh Live A Little Haha Lmfoa Lol Cheerys Cherrys..............."I really shouldn't be asking you , i feel shy, but i want it so bad, don't get me wrong it's just that i haven't had it for a long, long time. I could already feel it going in so hard and coming out so soft and wet. No one has to know about this. I need it. I'm desperate, but your help WILL be very grateful you must think i have a lot of nerves asking you for this, but i can feel my tongue around it sucking all the juice out until there's no more left, this has been on my mind all day long. I hope i'm not being forward, i'm usually not like this, but ....... can i have a piece of gum??????????
LOL" LMFOA............
(DIAMOND DANDY RANDY)
Another Deep Thought.....If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
Another Deep Thought.....Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.
You Know You're From Maryland When* You know how to pronounce 'Towson'
* You remember what the Inner Harbor looked like before it was the
Inner Harbor.
* You ate at Haussner's..
* You remember Friendship Airport.
* You remember driving over the old Kent Narrows Draw-Bridge that
snarled weekend traffic coming home from the Ocean.
* You love the Domino Sugar sign you can see across the harbor.
* You remember the rotating restaurant on top off the Holiday Inn on
Light Street.
* You know Annapolis and Hopkins are national treasures and you get a
kick out of hearing them named in movies or TV.
* You know B&O is not body odor
* That downtown smelled great near McCormicks.
* Every kitchen has a can of Old Bay .
* You refer to your state as "Marilyn."
* You and your Mom shopped at Brager Gutmans, Hutzlers, The Hub
Stewart's, The May Company .
* You know where "Downey Ocean" is.
* You remember the Civic Center .
* You know P
Sign InI put a guestbook on my profile, sign in, so I can see where everyone is from that I'm talking too.
Things I Like...I like the following not in any real order of any kind...
Women who wear farmer style bibs
Women who are over size 12 under this size is nice I just like more to kiss
Women who like me
Women who would like to start up some kind of relationship or use me for sex...LOL..
near meSomeone who actually lives somewhere...
Two Tall TreesTwo tall trees a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods.
A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"
The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the little sapling. The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."
Now wipe that smile off your face.
From My Best FriendOn Feb.14th, 07 I rcvd the BEST Valentine EVER...from my BEST FRIEND---Bookie called me on my cell phone and we was talking. The next thing I NEW someone else was on the phone. I asked who it was and the person said his name. I had to ask who did you say this was and he repeated it.."THIS IS MARION BARBER" I had to repeat what he said and added "Marion Barber of the DALLAS COWBOYS? He said "YES RITA, this is me!"
OMG..I screamed so loud and everyone in my office thought something was wrong. When I got home there was a pendant with his autograph and a picture of him for me. Knowing that my BEST FRIEND thought of me while at the barber shop and having this other man call me knowing I am a VERY BIG DALLAS FAN is unbelieve able. Considering I do not celebrate V_DAY.
So thanks to my BEST FRIEND...BOOKIE!!!!!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!!
A HandA hand reaches out through the despair
No questions asked - No judgments made
From the depths, her light clears the darkness
Her soft smile brings with it a warmth
A gentle, knowing look - and hope rises.
No words need be spoken
An unconditional love is seen
Her compassion - brings me strength
And have lightened the once heavy burdens.
I emerge from the darkness whole
and with the knowledge--
That one true friend will be at my side
As we travel the hills and valleys
And continue our walk down the path of life.
Office Life1) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
2) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after you boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender.
3) Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Cha-cha."
4) Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
5) Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as much since you did this.
6) Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee or a printout or whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way.
7) Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document·
8) Every time someone asks you to do something, anything, ask them if they wan
Please Rate My Photohello everyone Leo here was just wondering if all my friends would help me out I am in a photo contest and I have a link to where my photo is and you can rate it and send the link to all your friends, but I can't win if no one votes for me so what the heck check it out Thanks Leo
Rate my photo, Click here
73Today's Quote
Understand that the right to choose your own path is a sacred privilege. Use it. Dwell in possiblity.
-Oprah Winfrey
2nd August 2007Dear Alexa,
Here is your AstroSlam
for Thursday, August 2:
Your boss is the root of evil today. Before you engage in any office warfare keep in mind that you may be dealing with a force stronger than your sweet bunny rabbit optimism. If it was a contest of cute you'd win.
Omg Fireman Joke Hehe Lmfao Lol Enjoy Sorry I Need Water Or Beer Wowwww............FIREMAN 08-02-2007..
Body: A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have
a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our
jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and
we're on the fire truck ready to go.
"From now on when I say BELL 1
I want you to strip naked.
When I say BELL 2
I want you to jump in bed.
And when I say BELL 3
we are going to make love all night.
" The next night he came home from work and yelled
"BELL 1!" The wife promptly took all her clothes off.??
" The next night he came home from work and yelled
"BELL 1!" The wife promptly took all her clothes off.??
When he yelled "BELL 2!", the wife jumped into bed.
>When he yelled "BELL 2!", the wife jumped into bed.
When he yelled "BELL 3!", they began making love.
After a few minutes the wife yelled "BELL 4!"
"What the hell is BELL 4?" asked the husband???
"ROLL OUT
NurplesSome nurples are more better than other nurples. But the original nurple am most awesome.
I need more sugar, dammit.
Let's Prey For Them All¢¾~Angela~¢¾Date: Aug 2, 2007 8:38 PMKids on a bus were able to get of the bridge 2 secs before it collapsed they are lucky cause a truck pushed the bus off Dedicated to all people who lost their lives today during the bridge collapsion in Minnesota on August 1st 2007. And all the firefighters who saved many lives today. The bridge collapsing, in front of peoples eyes. people in cars being thrown into the waters.Rescuers, carrying out people with broken backs, necks, jaws. And some just tramatized.Cars dangling off the side of the bridge, flooding with water.And some cars just stopped short from the edge, just feet away from the fast pace Mississippi River. More people getting escorted out of the water with broken bones, being transported to local hospitals close to the scene. Cars and trucks smashed, as rescue workers help every person they can to get to safety.
Various Pics,,,rip Away,,,,/www.freemyspacegraphics.com" target="_blank">Hot Myspace Comments / /www.freemyspacegraphics.com" target="_blank">Myspace Graphics
Big Pimpin/www.freemyspacegraphics.com" target="_blank">Hot Myspace Comments / /www.freemyspacegraphics.com" target="_blank">Myspace Graphics
Im Rick James Biotch!!/www.freemyspacegraphics.com" target="_blank">Hot Myspace Comments / /www.freemyspacegraphics.com" target="_blank">Myspace Graphics
True Art,,,,lol/www.freemyspacegraphics.com" target="_blank">Hot Myspace Comments / /www.freemyspacegraphics.com" target="_blank">Myspace Graphics
Ignore Email From StalkersIGNORE EMAIL FROM STALKERS
Stalkers get a major thrill from making you angry and then convincing you that it was your fault (control). It is a cycle that repeats over and over again. Each time the threats and guilt trips get worse (A bigger thrill for the stalker).
So the simplest way to stop a stalker (in the early stages) is DON'T REACT. Make them get bored.
For instance, some victims of online stalkers change their screen names. This makes the stalker angry, but they get a thrill out of trying to find your new screen name (Playing detective). To them it is like a game. If they force you to change screen names that means they are in control. If you send them nasty emails or threats, you are reacting and they are in control.
If they know that you are deleting the emails, they may try a second screen name. So what you need to do is open the emails they send (don't download the file), but don't send a response (don't even read it). But when they check, they will see you open
Cajun DuiDon't let anyone tell you that Cajun's aren't smart!!!
Only a person in Louisiana could think of this. >From the parish where drunk driving is considered a sport comes this true story.
Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Houma , Louisiana .
After last call, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.
After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it.
He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started the car, switched the wipers on and off-it was a fine summer night-, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn, and then switched on the lights.
He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as som
Sexual IqYou have a sexual IQ of 146
When it comes to sex, you are a super genius. You have had a lot of experience, and sex interests you so you know a lot about it. You pride yourself on being a source of information and guidance to all of your friends.
Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com
New PicTell me if you can see the new NSFW pic I added, if you can see it, rate it so I know.
Florida BoundHEY YA'll JUST WANTED TO REACH OUT TO THOSE OF YOU IN THE SUNSHINE STATE !!! I WILL BE HEADING OUT THERE THIS COMING TUESDAY TO HOUSE HUNT AND TO LOOK FOR A LOCATION FOR OUR NEW AND UPCOMING CLUB ..........HOPE TO MEET AND GREET MOST IF NOT ALL OF YOU ONCE WE GET SITUATED .
JUST TIME FOR THIS JERSEY GIRL TO HEAD BACK TO THE "BEACHES" AND SUN .........TEXAS IS OK BUT JUS AINT BEACHY ENOUGH LOL . SOOOOOO BE SEEING YA'LL SOON ENOUGH AND CHEERS TO YA'LL !!!!
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND !!!!
Raise Your ExpectationsIt can be tempting to lower your expectations when things are not going your way. Yet the most realistic response is not to lower your expectations, but in fact to raise them higher.
It may seem that lowering your expectations so they're more in line with your reality would protect you from disappointment. Yet lowering your expectations is sure to bring on even more disappointment.
If you're disappointed with the results you're getting, it's not because your expectations are too high. It's because those expectations are not high enough to pull you forward.
Raise your expectations to the point where they become so meaningful and compelling that you cannot help but fulfill them. Choose those expectations that will drive you in each moment to do what must be done to reach them.
When the going gets rough, the answer is not to give up on your dreams. The answer is to grab on to those dreams, and to put them front and center in your life.
Set your expectations high, connect so
Have To Let Go......Chasing the memories away
Inside I die with the waking of each day
Haunting memories... Random thoughts
Running away from all the good things in my life
Pulling the bad in closer
The weight on my chest is getting heavy
Wishing the pain would just go away
It's getting harder to breathe
I wish you could just leave
Leave my thoughts and my dreams
My cheeks stained with tears
I can still taste them after all these years
Trying to sugar coat the truth
Hiding the scars of my wasted youth
Years of being lied to and used
Chasing myself trying to find out who I am
Always changing the plan
Can't seem to keep in touch
Still being in love with you is making this tough
But I have to let you go
LatelyLately, I've been sick, I had a gastro-intestinal bug, I guess you could call it. After two weeks I am starting to feel better! Whoopie!!!!!! Then I had to go to a new neurologist this past Monday for my RSD...he is going to refer me to a pain mangement clinic...oh joy! *SIGH* I also re-connected with a friend from downstate.....which has greatly helped my mood! And that is what has been going on with me....how about you?
Nothing ReallyHi! I am Sheree and I am new to Fubar! I am very excited about the chance to meet others! So check me out...
Who WillWHO WILL B MY FAN OR FRIEND CUM LET ME KNOW I'LL B HERE WAITING TO SEE WHO WILL FAN ME OR FRIEND.
10 F--k You's Of FubarFuck you number ONE
Fuck You number ONE.
To the people who have like 25,000 friends;
Are you fucking serious?
You're stupid.
Go play in traffic.
Fuck you number TWO.
Don't ever post pictures and say:
"OMG, I'm so ugly"
because if you were, you wouldn't post them.
If you do you're a fucking moron.
Fuck you number THREE.
NOBODY cares about threats over the internet,
so don't try to act hardcore with the keyboard.
Fighting online is like racing in the Special Olympics;
Even if you win, you're still retarded.
Fuck you number FOUR.
Quit crying because you're not on someones Family.
Who cares?!?
ITS FUBAR!!!
If you really cared that much, you would
pick up the damn phone!
Fuck you number FIVE.
Who really cares if I don't accept you as a friend?
MOVE ON!!!
Don't send me another request or message asking
"What's up with you not adding me?"
I don't want you as a friend, that's what's up,
Asshole....
Fuck you number SIX.
6th gra
Death & DarknessLIKE SIT MY ROOM THINK ABOUT DEATH HOW COOL IT WOULD BE TO DIE. SOMETIMES WOULD DAY DREAM ABOUT KILLING MY SELF WONDER WHO WOULD CARE THAT I WAS GONE WHO WOULDN'T. TO BAD WE CAN'T KILL ARE SELF'S AND THEN COME BACK TO LIFE!
RATHER LIVE IN DARKNESS THAN THE LIGHT, SEE SO MUCH MORE IN THE DARK THAN YOU DO IN THE LIGHT! LIKE BEING GOTHIC PEOPLE TREAT YOU SO MUCH BETTER THAN TRYING BE SOMEONE UR NOT!!
GOTHIC,VANPIRES,PEOPLE WORSHIP THE DEVIL, THERE SO MUCH COOLER THAN YOU THINK, JUST DEPPENDS WHAT YOU BELEAVE IN!!
To All Who Wants HimOur GOD can read each falling tears...
HE sees the heart thats needing cheer..
HE knows the path thats hard and dear...
dont ever give up for HE is near in you...
he is waiting in you right now to be with HIS child...
GOD cares you!!!
GOD LOVES you!!!
GOD BLESS!!!
The Intruder Part 1Eva lay in her bed reading a book while the ten p.m. news played in the back ground. She was so engrossed by the trashy novel, that she wasn't paying attention when the news announcer spent a good two minutes on a story about a series of assaults on single women in the metropolitan area! All of the women were between the ages of twenty two and forty, and either lived alone or were alone at the time of the attacks! Entry was usually made through an unlocked window, although unbelievably, a few women reported that the intruder entered through and unlocked door!!! After finishing the next chapter, Eva brushed her teeth, turned off the television, and turned in for the night, if she had been more alert, she would have gone around and made sure all of the windows and doors were locked up tight, unfortunately though, she did not!!!
A little past two a dark figure used a sharp pocket knife to cut the screen to the back porch window, seconds later, now inside the single story bungalow, the fi
Stranger On The Shore(wings of a dove the next title is wat,ermm stranger on the shore,stranger on the shore)
woha am stranger on the shore, and you dont love me no more, am stranger on the
shore and you then dont love me love me no more now that you have finaly reached
your destination, none of that fancy talk sweat explanation now i no i need your company
yes she does feel it not here with me ,not there no more am stranger on the shore knocking at your door
you dont want me no more oh the no love no more now that you have finaly reached your destination
destanation none of that fancy talk sweat explanation when a first met you oh yeah now i know i miss your company
yes she does i see you not here with me! whoa no more am a stranger on the shore no you dont love me no more....
Assholes On FubarWHAT THE FUCK!WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU GUYS?DO I HAVE PLEASE COME FUCK WITH ME AND PUSH ALL YOUR PSYCOTIC SHIT INTO MY LIFE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD OR SOMETHING?I AM SO SICK OF EVERYBODY DUMPING THEIR FUCKED UP SHIT ON ME.HOW MANY TIME DO I HAVE TO SAY THIS,FIGHTING ONLINE IS LIKE BEING IN THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS,YOU MAY WIN,BUT YOU ARE STILL A FUCKING RETARD.I AM NOT DRAMA QUEEN,NOR DO I WANT DRAMA IN MY LIFE.I DON'T SLEEP AROUND,I DON'T DO THE BAR THING,I DON'T MEET STRANGE MEN OFF THE INTERENT,I DON'T DO THE FUCK BUDDY THING,I DON'T DO DRUGS,I DON'T DATE PEOPLE OR BE FRIENDS WITH PEOPLE THAT DO DRUGS AND THAT INCLUDES BEING ADDICTED TO PAINKILLERS OR DRINK THEMSELVES RETARDED ALL THE TIME,I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING BABYSITTER, AND I DON'T FUCK DIRTY SICK PERVERTED 50 YR OLDS.WHAT I DO IN MY LIFE IS NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS,UNLESS I MAKE IT YOUR BUSINESS!SO KEEP YOUR SHIT TO YOURSELF AND FUCK OFF LOSERS,AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE TOO!
The Price Of ConfessionA man enters a confessional.
He says to the Irish Priest, "Father, it has been one month since my last confession. I've had sex with Fannie Green every week for the last month."
The priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's'."
Soon, another man enters the confessional. "Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Fannie Green twice a week for the last two months."
This time the priest asks, "Who is this Fannie Green?"
"A new woman in the neighbourhood," the sinner replies.
"Very well," says the priest. "Go and say ten 'Hail Mary's'."
The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his sermon when a gorgeous, tall woman enters the church. All the men's eyes fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down in front of the Altar. Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes. The priest and altar boy gasp as the woman sits down with her legs sl
Barbie's Christmas ListBarbie
c/o Mattel, Inc.
El Segundo, CA 90245
Santa Claus
North Pole, North Pole
December 23, 2004
Dear Santa:
Listen you ugly little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT'S DEFINITELY PAYBACK TIME!
There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I'm gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you won't wanna be around to smell it).
So, here's my holiday wish list for 2004:
Santa:
1. A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker. How much smaller are these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels like to have nylon and velcro crawling up your butt?
2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white. What bonehead at Mattel decided to cheap o
Sonnets 31-40XXXI
Thy bosom is endeared with all hearts,
Which I by lacking have supposed dead;
And there reigns Love, and all Love's loving parts,
And all those friends which I thought buried.
How many a holy and obsequious tear
Hath dear religious love stol'n from mine eye,
As interest of the dead, which now appear
But things remov'd that hidden in thee lie!
Thou art the grave where buried love doth live,
Hung with the trophies of my lovers gone,
Who all their parts of me to thee did give,
That due of many now is thine alone:
Their images I lov'd, I view in thee,
And thou (all they) hast all the all of me.
XXXII
If thou survive my well-contented day,
When that churl Death my bones with dust shall cover
And shalt by fortune once more re-survey
These poor rude lines of thy deceased lover,
Compare them with the bett'ring of the time,
And though they be outstripped by every pen,
Reserve them for my love, not for their rhyme,
Exceeded by the height of happier men.
O!
Gee, Your Hair Smells TerrificA woman was at work when a man said, "You're hair smells nice."
She went straight to her boss and said, "A man said my hair smells nice."
He in return said, "What's wrong with that, it does."
She said, "The man who said that was a midget."
9 Things I Hate1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.
I know where my watch is, pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3. When people say, "Oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it too."
Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say, "It's always the last place you look."
Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film "Did you see that?"
No Loser, I paid $8.00 to come to the movies and stare at the damn floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"
... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it?
Guts Vs. BallsWe've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each, is listed below ....
GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the boys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"
BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the boys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the backside and having the balls to say: "You're next!"
I hope this clears up any confusion on the subject.
Thingz That Annoy Me Part I1.Paris Hilton- Go Away!!!! Noone Cares!
2.RC Cola Machines-..i wanted a Coke..
3.Bad Tans- NEWS FLASH! U look like a carrot
4.Old men that stare at me- old + wrinkly= no!!
5.When the belt loops from your jeans are visible from your shirt- looks ugly!!
I'll continue to write 5 every day!
How To Clean A Cat1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and lift both lids.
3. Take the cat and soothe him while you carry him toward the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape. Caution: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for anything they can find.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash and rinse" that I have found to be quite effective.
6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside, where he will dry himself.
Sincerely, the Dog
An Italian HoneymoonAfter returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride, Virginia, Luigi stopped in his New York neighborhood barbershop to say hello to his friends.
Giovanni said, "Hey, Luigi, How was a da treep?" Luigi said, "Everything was a perfect except for da train a ride down."
What'a you mean, Luigi?" asked Giovanni. "Well, we boarda da train at Grand Centrala Station. My beautiful Virginia had packed a biga basket a food with vino and cigars for a me, and a we were looking a forward to da trip. All was OK until we gotta hungry and opened up a da luncha basket. The conductor came by, wagged his a finger at us and a say, "no eat in dese'a car. Musta use a dining car." So, me and my beautiful'a Virginia, we go to dining car, eat a biga lunch and begin to open a bottle of vino.
Conductor walk by me again, wag his a finger and say, "No drink'a in dese'a car. Must'a use'a club'a car, so we go to club'a car. While'a drinking vino, I start to light'a my big'a cigar. The conductor,
Momma Always Said...# My Mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you are going to kill each other, do it outside because I just finished cleaning."
# My Mother taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
# My Mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."
# My Mother taught me LOGIC 101- "Because I said so, that's why."
# My Mother taught me LOGIC 102 - "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you are not going to the store with me."
# My Mother taught me FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you are in an accident."
# My Mother taught me IRONY - "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
# My Mother taught me about OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
# My Mother taught me about CONTORTIONIST - "Will you 'look' at the dirt on the back of your neck."
# My Mother taught me about STAMINA - "You will sit there 'til
A F#@%ing Checking AccountA crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the woman at the teller window "I want to open a f#@%ing checking account."
The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"
Listen up, dammit. I said I want to open a f#@%ing checking account now!"
"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this bank."
The teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to inform him of her situation. The manager agrees that the teller does not have to listen to that foul language.
They both return to the window and the manager asks the old geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"
"There is no f#@%ing problem," the man says. "I just won 50 million bucks in the f#@%ing lottery and I want to open a f#@%ing checking account in this f#@%ing bank."
"Oh, I see," says the manager. "And is this f#@%ing bitch giving you a hard time?"
Moral: Money talks.....
A Man's Thoughts On Fellatio Aka Rebuttal Etiquette (by A Male)1. First of all, yes you're obligated to do it. If you don't, we will find someone (younger, prettier and dirtier) who will.
2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish.
3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean anything to you?
4. I will use your ears as I see fit. don't worry about it and be thankful I'm not pulling your hair.
5. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop you from bitching and moaning. Suck it up!
6. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get. trust me.
7. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the short end of the stick in flavor country.
8. At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth.
9. Play with the balls.
10. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
11. Caress the ass, too. We like that!
12. Mak
Things Not To Say To A Naked Man...That's it?
Wow - look at all the hair on your back!
Maybe you should start going to the gym more.
That was fine, dear...pass me my vibrator?
Thats a shame, maybe we should grab a video instead?
Wake me when it's over, ok?
I think the condom's too big.
Zzzzzz....
You want me to what?!?
Well, that explains the padded pants.
Did you take out the garbage yet?
My husband's in the Marines.
He's due home any day now.
Is that a toupee?
So THAT'S what your ex warned me about!
No.
Surgery might be able to help.
Not until you've showered.
That must be my mother on the phone.
Your brother's bigger.
Your best friend's better.
Are you done yet?
Wow! Look at the size of your.....beer gut!
Size doesn't REALLY matter, dear.
You might want to see a doctor about that.
Hahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!
The Women's Guide To Men's English"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry
"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy
"I'm tired" = I'm tired
"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!
"You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you
"What's wrong?" = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this
"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
"I'm bored" = Do you want to have sex?
"I love you" = Let's have sex now
"I love you, too" = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair" = I liked it better before
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair" = $50 and
Wazzup?/www.freemyspacegraphics.com" target="_blank">Hot Myspace Comments / /www.freemyspacegraphics.com" target="_blank">Myspace Graphics
Mymes Suk...lol/www.freemyspacegraphics.com" target="_blank">Hot Myspace Comments / /www.freemyspacegraphics.com" target="_blank">Myspace Graphics
An Italian Bidet..../www.freemyspacegraphics.com" target="_blank">Hot Myspace Comments / /www.freemyspacegraphics.com" target="_blank">Myspace Graphics
I Was Sittin There Gramma.../www.freemyspacegraphics.com" target="_blank">Hot Myspace Comments / /www.freemyspacegraphics.com" target="_blank">Myspace Graphics
Uncle Paul"Hello?"
"Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?"
"No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul."
After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul."
"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now."
(Brief Pause)
"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do: Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just
pulled into the driveway."
"Okay Daddy, just a minute."
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone. "I did it Daddy."
"And what happened honey?" he asked.
"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"
"Oh my God!!!! What about your Uncle Paul?"
"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into th
Tongue TwisterSee if you can do this:
Read each line aloud
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is retard cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each linefrom the top.
Betcha you can't resist passing it on.
Hair Long Or Short?Check out my Pics and let me know do i look better with long hair or short hair.
Thanks
Grandma In CourtGrandma Goes to Court
Defense Attorney: What is your age?
Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.
Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?
Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down beside you?
Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: W
Relationship Secrets1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women don't know each other.
Camel TimeThere was a tour bus in Egypt that stopped in the middle of a town square.
The tourists are all shopping at the little stands surrounding the square.
One tourist looks at his watch, but it is broken, so he leans over to a local who is squatted down next to his camel. "What time is it, sir?"
The local reaches out and softly cups the camel's genitals in his hand, and raises them up and down.
"It's about 2:00", he says.
The tourist can't believe what he just saw.
He runs back to the bus, and sure enough, it is 2:00. He tells a few of the fellow tourists his story,
"The man can tell the time by the weight of the camel's genitals!"
One of the doubting tourists walks back to the local and asks him the time, the same thing happens!! It is 2:05.p.m.
He runs back to tell the story. Finally, the bus driver wants to know how it is done.
He walks over and asks the local how he knows the time from the camel's genitals.
The local says "Sit down here and gr
Stress ReliefAn office manager arrives at his department and sees an employee sitting behind his desk totally stressed out.
He gives him the advice, "I went home every afternoon for two weeks and had my wife give me a blowjob. It was fantastic and it really helped, you should try it too!"
Two weeks later when the manager arrives at his department he sees the man happy and full of energy at his desk. The faxes are piling up and the computer is running at full speed. "I see you followed my advice?"
"I did", answers the employee, "It was great! By the way I didn't know you had such a nice house!".
New Hooker .. Lol Omg This Is So Funny!The new hooker just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details.
She said "well, he was a big muscular and handsome marine".
"Well, what did he want to do?"
they all asked.
She said " I told him that a straight lay was $100, but he said he didn't have that much".
"So I told him that oral sex would be $75, but he didn't have that much either".
"Finally I said, well, how much do you have"?
The marine said that he only had $25.
The new hooker said "well, for $25 all I can do is service you by hand"
He agreed and after getting the finances straight, she said "he pulled it out and I put one hand on it, and then the second hand above the first and then the first hand above the second hand..."
"Oh my god" they all exclaimed, "it must have been huge, then what did you do?"
With a big smile on her face, she said.
"I loaned him $75!"
Johnny DeeperA little boy was being bad in class and the teacher asked to see him after school. He stayed there and was sundenly puting moves on the teacher. The teacher hasnt had any in a while so they start to have sex. Whlie they were doing it the Johnnys family came in. The mom screams, "JOHNNY DEEPER!!". The dad screams, "JOHNNY DEEPER!!!!". The sister walks in and goes , "JOHNNY DEEPER, JOHNNY DEEPER, JOHNNY DEEPER!!!!". He screams, "IM TRY'N, IM TRY'N!!"
Whats Upneed held ,my sis is kicking my ass on points .please stop by and help me
Something Like Blackened Lovesilent years gone
caught as your curtain closes
deeply formed within you
something like blackened love
pressed between silk sheets and sweaty skin
this stirring in my belly is sickening
small tears in my eyes
succeed this
upon the pillow they fall
upon me again; you
Feeble Fetusan involuntary loss
by no means pretense
falsely accused - labled criminal
executing only the veracious thoughts - flooding.
i am deemed unacceptable
unlikely to never become the one who....
i lie humble in humility
crumpled in a fetal-piled-position
on the coldest floor called reality
spinning world
spins uncontrollably - leaving all to feeble
try to keep up
turning
and not get dizzy
a revolved-revolution
it is
i think -
only sometimes to understand
even my own thoughts are sometimes
uninterpretable
Days Go ByMusic Video:
Days Go By by (Dirty Vegas)
Music Video Code by Video Code Zone
Drunk TextThe Rules of Drunk Dials & Text Messages
1. Only drunk dial when you are drunk. Everything else is false
advertisement.
2. It is okay to call someone 27 times in one night. If you don't
remember it, it didn't happen.
3.If you are going to drunk dial a family member, say something nice. Ex. "Mom I'm in McDonald's and they're playing our song. I love you"
4.Dirty talk while drunk dialing is always preferred. Who doesn't want to hear your best raspy, phone sex voice at 3 in the A.M. asking them to bend you over something. Especially call your lover, they will get a kick out of you and your new found kinkyness.
5. Voicemails are always better. This way your friend can let their
friends have fun at your expense for days, even weeks to come.
6. Drunk texting is all right... If you are prepared to read what you
wrote the next day when you are sober.
7. It is definitely a good idea to call all of your exes and remind
them that you were the best lover they've ever had
Aquarius!When the moon is in the Seventh House
And Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peace will guide the planets
And love will steer the stars
This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius
The age of Aquarius
Aquarius!
Aquarius!
Harmony and understanding
Sympathy and trust abounding
No more falsehoods or derisions
Golden living dreams of visions
Mystic crystal revalation
And the mind's true liberation
Aquarius!
Aquarius!
When the moon is in the Seventh House
And Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peace will guide the planets
And love will steer the stars
This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius
The age of Aquarius
Aquarius!
Aquarius!
Smuggler's BluesThere's trouble on the streets tonight, I can feel it in my bones
I had a premonition, that he should not go alone
I knew the gun was loaded, but I didn't think he'd kill
Everything exploded and the blood began to spill
So baby, here's your ticket, put the suitcase in your hand
Here's a little money now, do it just the way we planned
You be cool for twenty hours and I'll pay you twenty grand
I'm sorry it went down like this,
And someone had to lose,
It's the nature of the business,
It's the smuggler's blues
Smuggler's blues
The sailors and pilots, the soldiers and the law,
The pay-offs and the rip-offs, and the things nobody saw
No matter if it's heroin, cocaine, or hash,
You've got to carry weapons 'cause you always carry cash
There's lots of shady characters, lots of dirty deals
Every name's an alias in case somebody squeals
It's the lure of easy money, it's got a very strong appeal
Perhaps you'd understand it better
Standin' in my shoes
It's the ultimate enticem
And Then There Was YouSo cold and dark, so empty and alone,
Never knowing what real love was.
So fragile and closed, so hateful and cruel, never to open my heart to anyone, and then there was you.
So scared, so new, not knowing what was to come, I gave you what little I had left. Hoping that you would want me the way that I am. Timid and frightend, wanting to love again, and then there was you.
A little relief from the beating that my heart took, trying to remember what it was like. You showed me that it was real and true, you touch so gentle, you saw right through.
All the pain and distrust disappeared that day, the love that consumed me felt so perfect and so right. Still hesitant to let anyone see who I really was, and then there was you.
Believing in me, trusting me, loving me unconditionally, letting go of all the fear, anger, and regret. Knowing that it is ok just to be who I am.
Crying, laughing, talking, sharing emotions that I tried to hide for so long, All because there was you.
Awoke In LoveMy friend once told me
Love is like a dream
Strewn rose petal pathways
And sand soft as cream
Blue green meadows
Sprinkled with dew
Whispering winds
That whisper How d'ya do's?
Tall oaks with plain shade
But enchanted lullaby's
Fruit full of flavor
Cornstalks and fireflies
I said plainly,
Tis truly a lie!
Till he picked me up gently
And we flew to the sky
I flew with him til
My cheeks were bright as day
When the moon came up slowly
The stars shooed the sun away
And soft as a breeze
My heart did flutter
When I stepped in the ocean
And slipped like as butter
For I fell in a reverie
Full of pixies and such
When Love did talk to me
And whispered, I love you this much.
I love you like cherries
That burst in your mouth,
I love you like wisteria
That blossom down South,
I love you like dolphins
Love to jump free,
I love you like tall pine
So high beyond that you can see,
I love you like a mountain
Loves to drink from the
Parte De Mi Corazon (part Of My Heart)Yo naci marcado con tu amor
Ya sentia tu respiracion
Yo creci soñando con tu piel
Aprendi a amarte sin querer
Lo presenti tu tenias que ser
Supe que te iba a conocer
Y una noche al fin
la luna se encendio
Te vi, fue magico
Te llevo en mi por siempre
fui hecho para ti
yo te imaginaba asi
estabas dentro mio
desde antes del amor
ya eras parte de mi corazon
Pensando en ti mil noches pase
El alma abri y te encontre
eras tu la unica la misma
Desperte mi sueño es realidad
descubri la felicidad
el destino no podia fallar
Hoy estas aqui
y se que no te iras
seras mi musica
Te llevo en mi por siempre
fui hecho para ti
yo te imaginaba asi
estabas dentro mio
desde antes del amor
ya eras parte de mi corazon
Cada caricia amor estaba escrita
con mi pasion tenia cita
en tu mirada yo lo veia
te conoci y ya eres mia...
Te llevo en mi por siempre
fui hecho para ti
yo te imaginaba asi
estabas dentro mio
desde an
I Know You From The PastAahh… just give me a second please,
precious…
I'm sure I know you from the past
I have seen those eyes before
I know you from the past
Perhaps in a time where
my memory cannot reach,
Perhaps in a time where
it did not even existed
Perhaps in a time where
the language did not speak
Perhaps in a time where….
I know you from the past
and this makes me think of you
I know you from the past
Like when and where it was
I want to know it is vital to understand it
perhaps you're the lady in my dreams
or just a revelation that I cannot understand, noo!
Tell me if you know it
I do not wait for anything in return, precious…. no
I'm just attempting to understand
because my feet fail every time I see you
I can't even speak because of you
I'm shaking and sweating. I can't stop
I believe that your elements mixed with mine
may cause an explosion
I don't need to look at you to feel you
the sparkles that are born of your being
your tones color my song
an
Just Around The Corner.Love, when we meet it, comes in many guises.
But nevertheless when we do meet love, we come to a crossroads.
It does not have to be a real crossroad with a stoplight , pedestrian lanes, and heavy traffic.
It could be at an office, a park, a train station, a house.
The landscape differs but the truths behind it remain the same.
Love, though it may seem hard to think of at first, is a choice...to jump on that imaginary train, to enter the door, to hold a hand. We stand at our crossing carrying nothing more than our faith, our hopes, our trust, and that human capacity to selflessly give without counting the cost.
It's not always rosy but we can choose to look beyond the cloudy skies, weather the storm.
Love is just around the corner...if we're patient enough to wait and to search.
SupportIf I were an eighteen-hour support bra, I'd join a union. That is a hell of a long work day, even next to boobs.
Week 42- Trickster has a guilty nightmare of the Rogues murdering Bart, and wakes up handcuffed to Pied Piper and surrounded by Deadshot and Multiplex. In an attempt to break free, Trickster stuns his captors with a bomb hidden in his tooth and runs out of his cell…which happens to be a jet, and seemingly falls to his doom with Pied Piper in tow.
- Mary Marvel investigates a bank robbery in Gotham City and finds the Riddler standing out front. Without knowing about his current state of good guy/bad guy affiliations, she starts to do her “beat up the criminal” thing but Riddler convinces her he’s on her side…for now. They start to follow a mud trail left by the culprits and find out it’s actually a trail left by Clayface. During an ensuing fight, Mary hurls Clayface into outer space. Riddler recommends she get some “help,” all the time with a certain Gotham-based superhero detective watching …
- While Batman spies on Riddler and Mary Marvel’s fight, Karate Kid comes to talk to him about
Awesome Guynot many guys take care of the things they should, but my new friend steve, stood up to it and did the right thing, i am so prous to say hes my friend and taking care of his baby girl coming and her momma.....
Having A Rough Day?Just in case you've had a rough day, here's a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts.
The funny thing is that it really works.
1. Picture yourself near a stream.
2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.
3. No one but you knows your secret place.
4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic place called "the world,".
5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
6. The water is crystal clear.
7. You can easily make out the face of the person you're holding underwater.
8. See, you're smiling already.
Whats Your Flavor??WHATS YOUR HOBBY???
That's right I want to see your hobby pics
I don't care if it is photography,knitting,drawing,painting,your husband or your wife or even making morphs or tags... I wanna see them...
This contest will run for 2 weeks straight...
Must be a SFW PIC
NO BLANK COMMENTS ALLOWED
MUST BE A LEVEL 3 OR HIGHER TO BOMB
IF CAUGHT WITH BLANK COMMENTS I WILL WARN YOU AND TAKE 10 COMMENTS AWAY IF I HAVE TO WARN AGAIN YOU WILL BE REMOVED FROM THE CONTEST...
NO DRAMA JUST HAVE FUN!!!
1st place will recieve a 7 day blast!!!
2nd place will recieve 75,000 in gifts!!!
3rd place will recieve 50,000 in gifts!!!
Let me know if you want to join xoxo
~Tracy~ CO-OWNER OF THE BIGSEXY BOMBERS AND PROUD FU WIFE OF BIGSEXY@ fubar
Love & Hate"Hate is often an obverse form of love.
You hate someone whom you really wish to love but whom you cannot love."
~~~
"Hate is a disguised form of love.
You can only hate someone that you have the capacity to love because if you are really indifferent,
you cannot even get up enough energy to hate him"
Penis StudiesIn 1991, Duke University funded a study to see why the head of a man'spenis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000.00, theyconcluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to givethe Man more pleasure during sex.After Duke published the study, Stanford decided to do their own study.After three years of research and $250,000.00, they concluded that thereason was to give the Woman more pleasure during sex.The University of Wisconsin, unsatisfied with these findings, spent$13.27 (for a Playboy, Penthouse, and a case of Old Milwaukee) andconcluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hittinghim in the forehead.
Grandma And SisThere are times in your life that you think of or just happens when things really gets you down.
For me has been trying to get threw this months in one piece, emotionally in one piece. In my past August was a fun month cause it was a reason to celebrate, a reason to be happy. It was the month that held two people that I can say without any doubt, truly and whole hearty that I loved birthdays, my grandmother and my sister. I been slowly dreading this time of years for a few months now, knowing what I have to deal with, not a celebration anymore but the sadness of the loss, the sadness of what could have been and just thinking of whom I lose and that just makes it very painful.
My grandmother would have been 99 years old and my sister 38 this month. And it hurts knowing that they not here to enjoy those events, it hurts that I have to think about these days, its hurts that right now I can’t hug someone as I cry in the early morning missing them.
My grandmother I m
If You Have ThemLadies,
If you have a nice set of twins, just add yourself as a friend.
I love a nice set of twins and enjoy to look.
And if you like to show them off, just im me.
show_d_twins@yahoo.com
..and Then...I take my finger and go like this... and then the thing and the other one, but not the one thing with the stuff.
No squirrels either. Amazing.
RedeemRedeem.
Unknown to thy self
Silent guessing
The inside speaks out
For untold needs
Following guilt
And pain within me
The promises made
The devil keeps
Slowly but surely
Time constrains me
To keep to those promises
I once made
Heavenly father
Looking down upon
A lowly sinner
Awaiting the grave
I hear you calling now
Your words so deafening
I feel you crying out
My soul still questioning
“Redeem yourself!
In the eyes of those you love!”
“Redeem yourself!
And drink of my blood!”
Despite all his efforts
And his fantasies
His fear overwhelming
He hides from the light
Following His wisdom
He still sees no hope
Desperate for forgiveness
But he still puts up a fight
Over and over
Thoughts wont give a clue
And every step he takes
Leads him back to one
Heavenly teacher
All but given up
Hope and pray for him
Until his suffering is done
He hears you calling now
Screaming toward the sky
His tears are pouring out
Begging to know why
Custom NamesI will be making custom names for those of you that want them...I expect nothing in return...this is just a favor for those of you that want them.
Real PeopleIt's becoming harder to be real these days. So many cowards and ass holes on the internet. Shit is saturated with fucked up nasty ass folks all looking to pass their misery off on someone else. I like Fubar cause people can express themselves without being censored. But it is still sad that the very reason that I got on this site, is the same one used for some of these sick ass folks I have encountered so far. I got a message from some ass that wanted to know my personal shit. Fuck off. Truth is some of the women on here have been so harassed that you can expect them to be a bit bichie, cause of all the pricks sending messages about fucking them, and hooking up. I like to flirt, but I have the good sense not to push shit. I hit some girl up on the IM the other night and she fucking bombed me out. She thought I was this shit head that's been stalking her online. She apologized, but I understood her need to be that way, cause you get so fucking annoyed with punk ass, shit talking little
Looking For FriendsHEY EVERYONE, I'M NEW ON HEAR.PLEASE SEND YOUR FRIENDS TO ADD ME. I'M A FUN LOVING GIRL WHO LOVES TO PARTY OR JUST HANG OUT, I ALSO LOVE BIKES ESP,HARLEYS. SO PLEASE HELP ME GET SOME FRIENDS. THANKS ALL
Yep.. I Knew ItYou Are a Bad Girl
You are 30% Good and 70% Bad
You're a total bad girl, from your wild hair to tattooed toes.
But you're too badass to even care if you're labeled "bad"!
Are You a Good Girl or a Bad Girl?
Here And Now.There Comes a Time...
A time comes in your life when you finally get it...
When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!
Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening. You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
Y
Maxi PadsAN OPEN LETTER TO:
Mr. JAMES THATCHER
BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE CORPORATION
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core (tm) or
Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will a
If'n I Was A Stripper...If I were a female stripper I'd be out of work.
I seem to have misplaced my poll.
I'm also not naked, don't like glitter and the thought of wearing tassels on my nipples makes me cringe.
And I'm not much of a woman. What with me being a man and all.
Yes, I said tassels. I've never actually been to a strip club so I have to rely on dated and vague imaginings as to stripper attire. Tassels feature rather often in my addled brain.
Ok, that was far too much of a glimpse inside my mind.
My Current StatusThis entry deals with the current bullet points of my life and I shall edit and update where they apply.
~REVAMPED~
I guess I never truly wanted to believe it but I assume that the reason I'm so quiet and why sometimes I can't answer certain questions is because in the past I unknowingly let people change me. Overall I think it was definitely a change for the better (though I do wish I still had some of my old assertiveness back...) but damn do I hate awkward silence! so many times I want to just chat away with folks but I have not the words or I rely on feeding them random general questions and it just feels so forced and phony. I guess that's why I prefer talking to people who have a lot to say or talk about themselves and their life the majority of the conversation as that way I can emphasize my strengths (Listening, nodding and occasional agreeing) and hide my conversational weaknesses. If it's something I can relate to or know a great deal about I have no problems at all but
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