Fubar Blog Posts 2

,l, (-_-) ,l, How Do You Fly The Fu?!?!?! Contest
I'm gonna have my first contest!!! All it will take to enter it is lettin me rip or recon a picture like good ole Johnny Cash's!!!When i get 250 entries for my How You Fly The FU! album I'm gonna have a Happy Hour and give away two 35 credit blings. Ya can choose between the auto 11 or the cherry bomb. One bling will go to the entry that has the most rates after the Happy Hour. So its up to you to promote your picture... I'll repost bulletins for everyone as i am fair and well it helps me out as well. The second bling will go to people who bomb the album durin my Happy Hour. How's I'll do that is Fubar sends a message for every bomb and the order in which i get bombed is the number that person receives. I'll put the numbers in a hat and draw then on cam in Bad Habitz Radio lounge after The Happy Hour... Disclaimer- Its my first contest so bare with me... I think my rules are fair but open to suggestions to make it better!!!!

Llife
just letting you know I might be taking a break from here. I will still be around..but not like before. Things have just changed for me on here. I am not enjoying it like I use to. Like I said.. might be around...might not. If I am lit up ad do not answer..its for the fact that I just havnt logged off.

A Llil Song I Wrote About Life I Have And Ppl In It
___________________Harsh words_______________________ You wanna put me down?, You wanna see me frown? Well this is the last time you'll ever see me around. I was true to you, I gave you my life on a plate, And all i got in return is a life thats full of hate. You once gave me everything and then took it all away, I thought i was your everything what more can i say?. And now i see the truth in you, Your hate it made me see, Deep down inside, what you really thought of me. Im a fuck up, a screw up nothing better than you, Well guess what bitch i got some news for you. Im a better person then you will ever be, and all you are is pissed your not, like, me. i tried and tried more and more everyday. all i got was put down so what can i say? (verse 2 ) All i know is that i grew up. And your just pissed that im not a screw up. Im not like you and i will never be, How could you want that fucked up life for me? Im better than you and i will allways be, So you can go to

Llisten To The Wind
When i see you in my dreams, I know that your with me, i cant see why u left me, i cant understand why listen to the wind, life for me begins, listen to the rain, i know you have gone away, i can try to stop the pain, i feel so helpless, i know you are with me now, but i cant see, that you cant be listen to the wind life for me begins, listen to the rain i know your back again free me from these eternal tears, i cant forget you, all i see is pained memory of when we were listen to the wind, life for me will bring listen to the rain i feel no more pain shadows fade, i hear no tears, i have found peace, thankyou for all of the years that you have made listen to the wind, m life now will bring, listen to the rain, my tears will form again` echo's of your last goodbye, whispers in the shadows, i can now finally smile now that you have rest in peace listen to the wind, my new life now begins, listen to the rain, ill be with you one d

Lllll A Poem
Love lays low lifes little losses letting light luminate'lusts lows. Let loose leaving long lasting lustre. Let love lift life's letdown's, lance loneliness leaving loathing looking labored. Let love lead lionheartedly leaving long lines lingering, lasting lifetimes. Long lifeless lies looking like loves long lost. Let love last, live, longing luxuries layed low, left to lapse

L.l.l.=life's Lessons Learned
There's some things that I regret, Some words I wish had gone unsaid, Some starts, That had some bitter endings, Been some bad times I've been through, Damage I cannot undo, Some things, I wish I could do all all over again, But it don't really matter, Life gets that much harder, It makes you that much stronger, Oh, some pages turned, Some bridges burned, But there were, Lessons learned. [Chorus:] And every tear that had to fall from my eyes, Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night, Every change, life has thrown me, I'm thankful, for every break in my heart, I'm grateful, for every scar, Some pages turned, Some bridges burned, But there were lessons learned. There's mistakes that I have made, Some chances I just threw away, Some roads, I never should've taken, Been some signs I didn't see, Hearts that I hurt needlessly, Some wounds, That I wish I could have one more chance to mend, But it don't make no difference, The past can't be rewritt

Áll Mý £îƒè
All my life, I've longed for someone like you. so warm and tender with a love so true. You light up my life with each passing day. Now that I have found you I will never let you get away. The beauty of your smile the warmth in your heart the greater inner beauty you posess. Is what won me over and did from the very start. As I sit here and thing of you the memories of how we met are ever so strong. You came into my life At a time I felt so alone. All my life I've longed for someone who would love me for who I am and nothing more. You captured my heart and soul so you, my love, you are the key to my hearts door. Each day we are together is another day in paradise. Knowing I have finally found someone to love me surely does feel nice. This day I pledge my love for you for always for better or for worse till death do us part. Our hearts will blend into one you and I will always be the reality that dreams do come true.

Llove/like
Have you told the one you love, that you like them too. If not isn't this time to do so. Or have you sat and thought do I like or just love them. Most parents love their children, and tell them so frequently, but how often do you tell them that you like them. I can say I love to eat, and believe me my profile is an indication of it when I look in the mirror. Though I love to eat I like chocolate cake, chocolate icecream, chocolate doughnuts, and chocolate candies. You see like is a bit more than just love. You can love the people around you, but doesn't mean you trully like all of them. Yet, some of them you do like and you like some more than others. No matter how fair we try to be as human beings we do not treat everyone or thing equal. When you see your significant other, child, or friend or just anyone you love try tell them you like them. Learn what it is you like about them and watch your love for them grow even more. I thank my love, My Jan, for pointing out

Llove Hurts
Forget his name, Forget his face, Forget his kiss & warm embrace. Forget the way he use to walk Forget the way he use to talk. Forget the way he said your name. To him it was all a game Forget the times he once was there. Remember now he's not there. Forget the times you two were alone. Remember now you're on your own. Forget the way he held you tight. Forget the way he said "Goodnight". Forget the way he said he loved you true. Remember now it wasn't true. Forget the way he said it was forever Forget the way he said he'd leave you never. Remember now he's gone forever. Remember if the love is true. The love will stay and never shall you be blue

Lloyd Marcus Tea Party Singer Does Benefit
If you are into politics you know about the Tea Party. What you may not know is there is a black singer by the name of Lloyd Marcus who wrote a song called “Take Back America.” Marcus subscribes to what Tea Party member espouse namely tradition American values. Now he is launching a group of singers to do a CD of patriotic songs to help benefit families of solders. As Marcus sings, “I am not an African-American. I am Lloyd Marcus, American.”http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2010/04/27/tea-world-tea-party-lloyd-marcus-take-back-america/ BlastFM is grounded in reality of great music. Listen 24/7 to get your head right www.live365.com/stations/blastcasterfm

L.l.p.
Lust, love, passion fills my mind.. As I yearn for you to be with me tonight. To savor each sensual kiss that will bonds us tonight for the first time. My body aches for your tender touch I have to be honest, you're the only man I've ever wanted. Feeling your warm soft breath on my neck, as you whisper sweet words I've been longing to hear you say. Words that prove the love you possess for me. As our love flowing through us is not mere fantasy Your lips brush my eyes, my lips, my ear I feel your heart beat next to mine Right now, the line between right and wrong is so fine You kiss my chest, my stomach, my legs "I want all of you," my body begs You kiss me hard and so passionately As you finally take me I can feel you....I can feel all of you My body begs for more As my thighs grow sore I scream out in ecstasy Feeling the tightness grow inside of me I feel the tightness burst And it quenches my sexual thirst As our bodies unwind I feel your lips on mine Moving

Llp Bully 1
COME ON IN TO LIL’S LIL GOTHIC PLAYGROUND!!!!!WE ARE WAITING FOR YOU!! WE LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU THERE!! STOP IN AND PLAY AND HAVE A FEW DRINKS!! ^^^ CLICK PIC TO ENTER LIL’S LIL GOTHIC PLAYGROUND^^^

Lmao How Pussy Was Made? Lmao
Seven wise men with knowledge so fine, created a pussy to their design. First was a butcher, with smart wit, using a knife, he gave it a slit. Second was a carpenter, strong and bold, with a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole. Third was a tailor, tall and thin, by using red velvet, he lined it within. Fourth was a hunter, short and stout, with a piece of fox fur, he lined it without. Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell, threw in a fish and gave it a smell. Sixth was a preacher, whose name was McGee, touched it and blessed it, and said it could pee. Last was a sailor, dirty little runt, he sucked it and fucked it, and called it a cunt.

Lmao
oh the joys of people on msn..... jay says: you have fantastic boobs i must say Vikki says: ahhh thanks jay says: no thank you for sharing Vikki says: lol jay says: so what are the chances of me seeing the pics or am i being too cheecky Vikki says: hmmmmmm lol jay says: i can beg if you wish lol Vikki says: lol jay says: pleaseeeeee Vikki says: lol jay says: on knees Vikki says: lmao jay says: hands together praying Vikki says: lmao jay says: to the dark lord too if hes your god of choice Vikki says: jay lmfao jay says: is it working jay says: the skies are all turning black here he must be listening jay says: oh dark lord please help viki take pics of herself in panties Vikki says:lmfao jay says: please grant your follwers wish jay says:lol Vikki says: lmfao Vikki says: hahahha jay says: please help her take loads Vikki says: lmfao jay says: whats that you can make her take her panties off too j

Lmao 2
If you read my other lmao blog this is the next bit to it..... hes still trying 30 mins later!! jay says: plus you look so damm fine Vikki says: thanks jay says: i could look at you all day jay says: not in a stalking way lol jay says: lmao Vikki says: lol jay says: just an apperciate way Vikki says: hehe jay says: and drooling lol Vikki says: lmfao jay says: its not that bad is it? jay says: lol not everyday i get to talk to someone so sexy Vikki says: what about jane? jay says: she sexy too jay says: but your gorgeous jay says: dark!! Vikki says: lol jay says: you would have me worshiping at your feet Vikki says: lmfao jay says: honestly Vikki says: lol no you wouldnt jay says: try me jay says: sexy bum in jeans hun Vikki says: lol jay says: no you have my full attention jay says: did i spell that wrong jay says: erec jay says: very impressive jay says: wow viki you do rock Vikki says: lol jay says: fantastic boobs hun jay says: you should see how

Lmao New Husband Wanted
New Husband Wanted!!! >> > >> >A lonely widow, aged 70, decided that is was time to get married >> >again. She put an ad in the local newspaper that read: >> >HUSBAND WANTED: >> > MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's), >> > MUST NOT BEAT ME, >> > MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME, >> > AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED! >> > ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON. >> > >> >On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, >> >she opened the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheel > >> >chair. >> > >> >He had no arms or legs. >> >"You're not really asking me to consider you, are you?!" the >> >widow said. >> > >> >"Just look at you ... you have no legs!" >> >The old gentleman smiled, "Therefore, I cannot run around on >> >you!" >> > >> >"You don't have any arms either!" she snorted. >> >Again, the old man smiled, "Therefore, I can never beat you!" >> > >> >She raised an eyebrow an

Lmao
A Guy walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job." The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter you'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, and he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips and you will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The salary is $200,000 a year." The guy, wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!" The social worker said, "Yeah, well . . . you started it."

Lmao
Shes eating my belt loops on my jeans. I had to put jeans on cause yesterday she crawled up my skirt and wouldnt come out lmao. And now she wants my banana but i wont give her it so shes biting my stomach lmao.

Lmao
Jim decided to propose to Sandy, but prior to her acceptance Sandy had to confess to her man about her childhood illness. She informed Jim that she suffered disease that left her breasts at the maturity of a 12 year old. He stated that it was OK because he loved her soooo much. However, Jim felt this was also the time for him to open up and admit that he also had a deformity too. Jim looked Sandy in the eyes and said...."I too have a problem. My penis is the same size as an infant and I hope you could deal with that once we are married. She said, "Yes I will marry you and learn to live with your infant size penis." Sandy and Jim got married and they could not wait for the Honeymoon. Jim whisked Sandy off to their hotel suite and they started touching, teasing, holding one another...As Sandy put her hands in Jim's pants, she began to scream and ran out of the room! Jim ran after her to find out what was wrong. She said, "You told me your penis was the size of an infant!"

Lmao
Ya know I just have to laugh at all these "contests" run on here. And the accusations or whatever of cheating and whoring. Whatever people. To each their own. Guess I am just tired of all the whiney babies that are supposed to be adults. If I wanted high school crap I would go to my reunions!

Lmao
During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband: Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn't talk for an hour?" The hubby replied: "Yes, honey, that was the happiest hour of my life."

Lmao Haha Ponder This
Ponder this... A young boy went up to his father and said, "Dad, the teacher gave us anassignment to determine the difference between potentially and realistically. Can you help me?" The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then, ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that." So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!" The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?!?!?!" The boy then went to his b

Lmao
You scored as Jigsaw. You are Jigsaw. You dont enjoy killing people at all. You instead love to see how far people will go to live. However if it ends in a bloody death, you still sleep with a smile on your face. You are intelligent, and know how to outwit just about anyone. And that spells bad news for anyone who falls into your games of death and torture.Michael Myers80%Candyman80%Jigsaw80%Freddy Krueger70%Pinhead65%Hannibal Lecter50%Leatherface50%Captain Spaulding40%Buffalo Bill30%Jason Voorhees30%Whic

Lmao.
I think all the studying got to my brain. Cause im listening to: Back street boys. Nsync. Britney Spears. And Spice girls lmao. Kim said ew.. I dont wanta cry a tear for you so forgive me if i do if only you were here tonight i know we could make it right i dont know how to live without your love i was born to make you happy

Lmao!!! Im Going To Jail For Being Freaky!!!!
Kelli Laffey will go to jail for ... Making an erotic cake for your cousins first birthday 'What sexual activity will you go to jail for?' at QuizUniverse.com LOL Now whats wrong with that?? You cant put me in jail for that!! If you wanna put me in jail,..Do it for something good!!! Like when I was drunk and took this guy home &.......(uh huh) lol!!!!

Lmao
Are you Naughty or nice Your Result: your Naughty! wild thing! You were born to be bad. Naughty by nature, you've tried everything at least once and aren't afraid to get your hands - or the rest of you - dirty when opportunity knocks. Whether that means plotting for advancement at work or toying with somebody's affections, you're willing to break the rules. As long as you're having a laugh and getting ahead, anything goes. And it is fun to defy convention every once in a while, but you're walking a bit of a tightrope. Every so often, try listening to that little angel on your shoulder who keeps saying "no!" - it's okay to be nice sometimes. In the meantime, keep being bad and enjoy yourself. Just don't throw caution entirely to the wind. Your Nice! all sugar, no spice! Are you Naughty or nice

Lmao
A couple go on a winter break..to a log cabin The morning they arrive the man goes out choppin logs... he comes back and says to his girlfiend his hands are freezing so she says put them between my legs...to warm up.. After lunch he goes out chopping again.. and the same happens. After tea off he goes again when he gets back he says his hands are freezing again.. This time the girlfriend says.. dont ya fuckin ears EVER get cold?

Lmao
A man was having problems with premature ejaculation. This was affecting marital relations with his wife so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what could he do to cure his problem. In response the doctor said, "When you feel the urge to ejaculate, try startling yourself". One the way home the man went to a sports store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try out this suggestion he runs home to his wife. When he gets home he is surprised and delighted to find his wife in bed, already naked. He’s so horney and keen to try out his new ’system’ that he doesn’t think twice and leaps on board. After a few minutes ‘slap and tickle’, they find themselves in the ’69’ position. Sure enough, only moments later the man feels the sudden urge to come. Following doctor’s orders, he grabs the starter pistol off the bedside table and fires it. The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, "How did it go?" The man answered, "Just gr

Lmao.... In Training
Are you a Nudist? Your Result: Nudist in Training You are a nudist at heart and only to yourself. You want to go on and explore all but not sure if your ready. Take some time to gain the courage and strip away the chains. Go out and have fun!Wannabe Nudist Full Time Nudist Textile Are you a Nudist?Quizzes for MySpace

Lmao.....
A dwarf gets on an elevator and pushes the button to go up, just before the door closes, a hand comes through and opens the door. In steps a very large black man. The dwarf stares and says "You’re the biggest man I have ever seen". The man nods his head, and replies " I’m 6-9, weigh 259 lbs., and I have 16 inches, I'm Turner Brown.” The dwarf faints! After coming too, the dwarf asks the man to repeat himself. So he does, "I said I’m 6 - 9, 259 lbs., with 16 inches, my name is Turner Brown.” The dwarf looked relieved and started laughing. “For a minute there, I thought you said ‘Turn Around’

Lmao
THATS RIGHT IM LMAO AT THE GIRLS THAT KEEP POTING THE SAME BULLETINS OVER AND OVER AND OVER BECAUSE NOONE IS PAYING ATTENTION TO THEM HAVENT YOUR GOTTEN THE POINT ALREADY IF THEY HAVENT COMMENTED YET THERE NOT GONNA. SO CHILL A LITTLE...STOP SOUNDING SO DESPERATE AND IM SURE THEY WILL SEE YOU EVENTUALLY.OH AND THIS ISNT FOR DAISY DUKE..YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE FUCKING HOTT..

Lmao....funny
A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. > > However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his crotch. Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn't told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable. Taped firmly across his pubic hair was three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily. Written in large black letters was the sentence. "Get well quick..... from the nurse you gave a ticket to last week."

Lmao..
A guy goes into a bar and orders a shot of whiskey, after downing that one orders another, and another, and other. The puzzled bartender ask him "What are you celebrating?" "I just had my first blow job" The bartender says "Congratulations, heres one on me!" The guy downs that one and says "Thanks! This sure takes the taste out of my mouth!"

Lmao
A first grade teacher had twenty five students in her class, and she presented each child in her class the first half of a well known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their nsight may surprise you. While reading these keep in mind that these are first graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is classic! 1. Don't change horses..........................until they stop running. 2. Strike while the........................................bug is close. 3. It's always darkest before.....................Daylight Saving Time. 4. Never underestimate the power of ...... termites. 5. You can lead a horse to water but ......... how? 6. Don't bite the hand that ..................... looks dirty. 7. No news is .......................................... impossible 8. A miss is as good as a ............................. Mr. 9. You can't teach an old dog new ...

Lmao
100 Miles an Hour A young couple is out carousing one evening. While driving down the highway the guy says to the girl, "If I go 100 miles an hour, will you take off your clothes?" She agrees and he begins to speed up. When the speedometer hits 100 she starts to strip. When she gets all her clothes off he is so busy staring at her that he drives off the road and flips the car. The girl is thrown clear without a scratch but her clothes and her boyfriend are trapped in the car. "Go get help.", he pleads. She replies, "I can't, I'm naked." He points to his shoe that was thrown clear and says, "Cover your snatch with that and go get help."She takes the shoe, covers herself, and runs to the gas station down the road. When she arrives she is frantic and yells to the attendant, "HELP! HELP! My boyfriend's stuck!" The attendant looks down at the shoe covering her crotch and replies, "I'm sorry Miss. He's too far in."

Lmao This Was Funny As Hell
MAKES YOU WONDER > > > > > > > > > >Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll > > squeeze > > > >these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" > > > > > > > > > >Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there...I'm > gonna > > eat > > > >the next thing that comes outta it's ass." > > > > > > > > > >Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a > > horrible > > > >crisp, which no decent human being would eat? > > > > > > > > > >Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? > > > > > > > > > >If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about > him? > > > > > > > > > >If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a > > coconut, > > > >why can't he fix a hole in a boat? > > > > > > > > > >Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but > don't > > > >point to their ass when they ask where the bathroom is? > > > > > > > > > >Why does your OB

Lmao
DARN MEDICATION! A woman asks her husband, "Would you like some bacon and eggs? A slice of toast and maybe some grapefruit and coffee for breakfast?" He declines. "Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's this Vi#gra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite." At lunchtime she again asked if he would like something. "How would you like a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?" Again he declines. "The Vi#gra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food." Come dinnertime, she once again asks if he wants anything to eat. "Would you like a juicy porterhouse steak and scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken?" And he once again declines. "Naw, still not hungry." "Well," she says, "would you mind letting me up? I'm starving."

Lmao
WHAT PART OF YOUR BODY GOES TO HEAVEN FIRST? The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven...which part of your body goes first?" Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands." "Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?" Suzy replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes you hands first." "What a wonderful answer!" the nun said. Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think it's your legs." The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. "Now, Little Johnny, why do you think it would be your legs?" Little Johnny said, "Well, I walked into Mommy and Daddy's bedroom the other night. Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying, "Oh God! Here I come . . ." If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her." The nun fainted.

Lmao
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven." The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said. The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates". The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize? The man replied," "These are Carols." And So The Holiday Season Begins....

Lmao!!!
NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN DAMNITOL Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours. EMPTYNESTROGEN Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out. ST. MOMMA'S WORT Plant extract th at treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days. PEPTOBIMBO Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception. DUMBEROL When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks. FLIPITOR Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. < SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana','sans-serif'"> MENICILLIN Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such

Lmao
wat the fuck should i say i gots no ideas but im bored off my ass so i guess ill fill this screen wit sum shit so as i walk down the road to meet superman so we can rob spiderman house we want his web ride it starts to snow patroll chasing cars is wat my pixie n i played cards lass nite i ate sum cheese n crackers lmao hope u juss look at this shit n say wtf enjoy life all

Lmao..convo With My Sis
A convo with my sis LOL ..[Nicole].. it's sooooo colddd don't wanna work tonight says: yeah well..i'm getting surgery on my face x0x..(((.l|l.I.Lub Him..l|l.)))..x0x.. ..x0x....{{..He.Makes.My.Heart.All.Scribbley..}} says: =/ ..[Nicole].. it's sooooo colddd don't wanna work tonight says: so I think ur life is goin a lil better than mine lol x0x..(((.l|l.I.Lub Him..l|l.)))..x0x.. ..x0x....{{..He.Makes.My.Heart.All.Scribbley..}} says: nope x0x..(((.l|l.I.Lub Him..l|l.)))..x0x.. ..x0x....{{..He.Makes.My.Heart.All.Scribbley..}} says: i have rob x0x..(((.l|l.I.Lub Him..l|l.)))..x0x.. ..x0x....{{..He.Makes.My.Heart.All.Scribbley..}} says: id rather be cracked in the face with a mallet ..[Nicole].. it's sooooo colddd don't wanna work tonight says: LMFAO ..[Nicole].. it's sooooo colddd don't wanna work tonight says: can I please put that in a blog? LOL

Lmao - I Guess I Need A Little Help From My Friends Like Yesterday!!!
LMAO....... Well I got an email from Chaotic Dragon ... I must have missed the first one.... ~~Rocket~~L.O.D. Member has made a morph of me, that has been entered into Chaotics' morphin contest.... poor little morph of me is sittin there in this contest with only 2 comments on it... kinda embarrassin for me, one of the best contest comment bombers here on cherry eh? Thank you so much! Luv&Hugs, ~Mz Mic~ Click Here 4 Morph of Me!!!!

Lmao..... Funny Shit
Tequila! A Mexican is strolling down the street in Mexico City and kicks a bottle lying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle pops out a Genie. The Mexican is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello master, I will grant you one wish...anything you want." The Mexican begins thinking, "Well, I really like drinking tequila." Finally the Mexican says, "I wish to drink tequila whenever I want, so make me pee tequila." The Genie grants him his wish. When the Mexican gets home, he gets a glass out of the cupboard and pees in it. He looks at the glass and it's clear. Looks like tequila. Then he smells the liquid. Smells like tequila. So he takes a taste and it is the best tequila he has ever tasted. The Mexican yells to his wife,"Consuelo, Consuelo, come quickly!" She comes running down the hall and the Mexican takes another glass out of the cupboard and fills it. He tells her to drink it. It is tequila. Consuelo is reluctant but goes ahead and takes a sip. It is the best

Lmao
One late night, Mark came out of the local pub a little drunk. He got into his pickup and started driving home. He was on a lonely stretch of the road when, all of a sudden, a piston blew right through the engine hood! Mark got out of his truck, angry as hell and kicked the door out of sheer frustration and started walking down the deserted road. About twenty minutes later, a pickup loaded with guys riding in the back came along and stopped. One of the men yelled, "Hey man, what happened?" Mark replies, "Piston broke." The man calls back, "Oh hell, buddy! We're all pissed and broke. Get in the fuckin' truck." Following the birth of my second child, I called our insurance company to inquire about my short-term disability policy. "I just had a baby," I proudly announced to the representative who picked up the phone. "Congratulations! I'll get all of your information and activate your policy," she assured me. After taking down basic facts like my name and ad

Lmao
Body: In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin Advil is also called Ibuprofen. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of mycoxafloppin. Some of the other names also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin. ********* The New Pepsi Drink ************* Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highball

Lmao To Funny...
Ok just to let everyone no. My cable modem went down on me on monday, I get back on here and my friends are telling me that there is a certain person saying that I am meeting the last jerk.. That is not happening I met a real man right here in kentucky and things are really going good. He is a great guy and I will be posting pictures tonight of us together, to show everyone that I am happy and this is one true love that no one can take away from me. So keep dreaming moron you no who you are and who you told the bull to...

Lmao.. Now This Is Funny!!!
LMAO... maybe you guys will get a laugh out of this as much as I did!!!! The other day, we had gotten a couple cans of cat food and set them (unopened) on the counter in the kitchen... We took one of the cans and opened it up and fed it to the cats... Ok, just a few minutes ago, we had asked my brother if he had seen the other can that was on the counter... he said, "no, but there was a can of Tuna Fish sitting there, so I opened it up and ate it" !!! Needless to say, my brother ate the can of cat food!!!! LMAO I was talking to my friend Les about this, and he said something that is so true!!! Here is what Les said "lol you only see that in comedies, I didn't think it could happen lol" Well Les, now you know that it doesn't only happen in comedies!!!! LMAO

Lmao And These Kids
I love it when i turn yonger gys down and they pll my age opt lol I may beolder bt stll close enff t prrrrrrrrfect for who I choose to be and if can t handle my preferences GO FCK RSELF as wont be doing me

Lmao
A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his Mom on top of his Dad bouncing up and down. The Mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him. The son sees his Mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?" The mother replies, "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it." "You're wasting your time," said the boy. "Why is that?" asked his Mom, puzzled. "Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up.

Lmao--types Of Ummmmmm.......hehe
Types of Pussy...... LAZY PUSSY- this is when there is no movement on the woman's part except trying to stop full thrust of the dick into the pussy. She says faster; faster but still is not putting any effort into the action at hand. THE WENDY'S WINDOW PUSSY- This is the girl you pick up around 12:30 am, when everyone is sleeping and she knows that you are coming so she is waiting by the door. You don't have to beep the horn or call her from the car because she knows the deal. She usually is not the best looking girl. You are never seen with this girl in public places and you hate that she mentions your name to her friends. There is no reason to ask how your day was because it is too late for conversation. It is all agreed upon before she even gets in the car. Nine out of ten times, there is no talk of relationship, because that might spoil the mood. THE CONQUERED PUSSY- This is the girl who teased you for about two or three years and finally you do get your chance and you p

Lmao! Who's Smarter Here???
subject: LMAO! Who's smarter here??? date: 2007-03-01 18:31:28 When girls don't put out!! This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart. Girls -- Please have a sense of humor! I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that not

Lmao! Who's Smarter Here???
When girls don't put out!! This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart. Girls -- Please have a sense of humor! I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very ne

Lmao
A woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks. While > >>>>they're sitting there having a good time together she starts > >>>>talking about this really great new drink. The more she talks > >>>>about it, the >more > >>>>excited she gets, and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into > >>>>having one. After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink > >>>>for him. >The > >>>>bartender brings the drink and puts the following on the bar -- > >>>> > >>>>A saltshaker, a shot of Baileys and a shot of lime juice. > >>>> > >>>>The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman > >>>>explains. > >>>> > >>>>"First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink > >>>>the >shot > >>>>of Baileys and hold it in your mouth, and finally you drink the > >>>>lime juice." > >>>> > >>>>So, the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her, goes for it. > >>>> > >>>>He puts the salt on his tongue -- salty but OK. > >>>> > >>>>He drinks the shot of B

Lmao
The year's "Best Comeback" line If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. & nbsp;The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility.... Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?" A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away." Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?" A: "The officer who responded to the scene." Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?" A: "Yes, sir. With my life." Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?" A: "Yes sir, we do!" Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?" A: "Yes sir, I do." Q: "And do you have a lock on your

Lmao
Sex Advice From A Friend Two friends, a white guy and a black guy, both work together. The white guy came in late one morning and his black friend asks where he had been. The white guy says, "My wife gives me good sex every night and she kept me up really late last night". The black guy says "I can't get my wife to have sex with me, no matter what! How do you do it?" The white guy says, "I read her poetry every night." His black friend then asks, "What kind of poetry?" The white guy replies, "Blondie, blondie, eyes so blue, how I want to make love to you." Then the white guy tells his friend to go home and try it - it's a sure thing! The next morning the black guy was about 2 hours late. When he comes in, he has a black eye and his arm is in a sling. The white man asks, "What happened?!" The black man says, "Man, don't ever speak to me again!" The curious white man asks, "Well, what did you say to her?" The black man replies, 'Nappy head, nappy head, ey

Lmao
Ok so I love CHERRY TAP!! But come on............. why do you have to fake it.... and be a girl when you are a nasty guy!! They have doctors for that.. I do not thing cherry tap has any on staff but you might want to ask. And if you calling me a bitch is supposed to hurt me............. yeah you are wrong.. I have many people on my profile and I have never been a bitch to any of them.. so yeah if you are comeing to me as a girl when i know you are a guy ( because of the fact that a guy was asking the same questions and I said NO) thinking you are going to get in my privates... you are mislead. there are very few that I let in and you best believe you are not one of them.... and always remember you will never have a true friend when you are faking who you really are the whole time. so i suggest that anyone that has to fake who they are to get satisfaction then you need to go on the dr. phil message board and get the fuck off of cherry tap cause no one wants you here. and I feel bad for

Lmao
Five reasons not to be a penis: 1. -------- You're bald your whole life. 2. -------- You have a hole in your head. 3. -------- Your neighbors are nuts. 4. -------- The guy behind you is an ass hole and... 5. -------- Every time you get excited, you throw up and then faint.

Lmao!!!!!!!
FELT LIKE FUCKING YOU TODAY SO... YOU'VE BEEN FUCKED! Spread the legs and go at it! Pick any of your friends and FUCK THEM! This is for any one you think is hot! Keep reading and you will find out that this is not some gay thing. RULES: 1- You can fuck the person who fucked you, of course. 2- You can fuck the same person as many times as you can (c'mon, ENDURANCE)! Be creative!* 3- You -MUST- spread the sex! At least 1 fuck is fine and dandy! 4- You should fuck in public! Be adventurous, damn it. Paste it on their user page so they feel slutty! 5- Random sex is perfectly okay! 6- Please, don't worry about same gender fucking, it's HOT. 7- You should most definitely get started fuckin' right away! This is about showing everyone how much you care for them and HOW BAD YOU WANT THEIR ASS! Make everyone feel a little loved (and roughed up!). Please don't take this too personally, BUT I JUST FUCKED YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! F.U.C.K Stands For: Friends U Can Keep. So promise me we'll

Lmao I Laughed So Hard I Cried On This One!
Subject: cold wax All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. Read on......... My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out th

Lmao,,,you Chicken Ass Ppl
LMAO,,,,,,YOU CHICKEN SHIT PPL GOTTA RATE SOMEONE'S PROFILE AND OR PIC A 1 OR 2 CAUSE YOU ARE JEALOUS YOU DONT LOOK AS GOOD OR YOUR WOMAN DONT. GET OVER IT. AT LEAST YOU CAN BE MAN OR WOMAN ENOUGH TO SAY WHO YOU ARE.

Lmao... Yeah... Ok...
It looks more like it's supposed to be a heart attack during sex.... which goes well with my kind of luck.... But I guess I could see both happening... LOL You'll die from a Drug or Alcohol accident. Let's face it - when you get drunk/high you lose all control and do stupid stuff. Unfortunately in your case those propaganda anti-escapism commercials prove true. 'How will you die?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Lmao
THE PRIEST AND THE VODKA. A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. the monsignor had earlier advised him to put a glass of vodka next to the water glass on the pulpit and take a sip when he got uptight. that sunday the priest had taken the monsignor's advice, and whenever he felt anxious delivering the sermon, he took a drink. he then proceeded to talk up a storm. upon his return to his office,the priest found this note on the door: 1. sip the vodka , don't gulp. 2. there are ten commandments, not 12. 3. there are 12 disciples, not ten. 4. jesus was consecrated, not " constipated". 5. jacob wagered his donkey, he did not" bet his ass." 6. we do not refer to jesus christ as"the late j.c." 7. when david was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say, "he was stoned off his ass." 8. when jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said,"Take this and eat it, for it is my body."he did not say, "EAT me." 9. the virgin Mary is not" Mar

Lmao Wtf
trust in a lie that keeps you from the pain of the truth that hurts to the bone that sheds the core to reveal the scared emotions you once bore on the sleeve of your arm to show you gave no shit about the lie that you thought would hide you from the truth to rebound the truth you told to hide the lies of the life that you wanted that you destroyed only to backlash to the pain and mistust of the valiant ones who tried to save your soul in the mist of time while stuck in your own thoughts of forgetfullness you should have remembered to dispell the lies and bring forth the truth of the past to save the future while your paranoid sitting in the present..... hahahaaha wtf? im trippin yall

Lmao
Most of this is true, but I NEVER have to reverse! I'm an expert! haha Body: MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender." MALE PROCEDURE: 1. Drive up to the cash machine. 2. Put down your car window. 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt. 6. Put window up. 7. Drive off. ******************************* FEMALE PROCEDURE: Unfortunately, most of this part is the Truth.!!!! 1. Drive up to cash machine. 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align

Lmao...maybe I Need To Do This
A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000. He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be married," she said, my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll." The little old man was so mo

Lmao
What kind of lover are you?BarbaricYou have a wild, fierce, and strong animal-like nature behind your lovemaking and that makes you very passionate. When you find the "one" you can give your whole heart to, you give that and then some! It's true that most people say there's no love behind that much fire but that's quite the opposite. You love who you're with and have no problem slamming them down on the sheets and showing them the time of their life! For this, your lover will respond back with the same animal nature and that will show you how much they love you back! For you, it's rough all the way and always very heated and intense!!!How do you compare? Take this test! |

Lmao
A fire fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl is wearing a fire fighter's helmet. The wagon is being pulled by her dog and her cat. The fire fighter walked over to take a closer look. That sure is a nice fire truck," the fire fighter says with admiration. "Thanks," the little girl says. The firefighter looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles. "Little Partner," the fire fighter says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar too, I think you could go faster." The little girl replies thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren. "

Lmao @achilles
THIS IS A PERSONAL DEDICATION TO THE MAN WHO TRIED TO MAKE THE VIC MEMBERS BOYCOTT THE SITE AND TO THE MAN THAT TRIED THE RED X BOYCOTT AND TO THE MAN WHO TOLD THE WHOLE SITE HE WAS GONNA GET ME BOOTED AND ONCE AGAIN TO THE MAN THAT CANT KEEP A REAL TIME NEVER MIND AN ONLINE WIFE ONCE AGAIN HE SO FOLKS PLEASE SEND HIM A SYMPATHY CARD HES MORE PATHETIC THAN MR RUSH EVER WAS SO HERE YA GO A PERSONAL MESSAGE FROM THE ONE THEY CALL FAT SONNY HEY MOTHER FUCKER IM STILL HERE AND AS FAR AS YOU GO EVERYONE SHOULD SEND A SYMPATHY CARD TO THIS LOOSER HES THE QUEEN OF ALL BOYCOTTS THAT FAIL Achilles@ CherryTAP AND SOMEONE PLEASE TAKE HIS MAN CARD AWAY CAUSE HE AINT NOTHING BUT A BITCH THIS SONGS FOR YOU THERE BUDDY Beck Lyrics

Lmao Check Out My Horoscope, Soo Funny
Rubbing elbows with the creme de la creme of society casts a rosy glow over your self-esteem, and no wonder -- these people just adore you! Keep hold of your common sense and you won't get knocked off your feet. Well by fucks guess that says it all

Lmao ...mental Hospital...just Read It...lol
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays that you have a sound mind. The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt r

Lmaoooooooo
THIS, my friends is called entertaining yourself....... waaaaaaaahooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee runs , jumps and lands on the slip n slide whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa *splat* ouch , dammit that hurt! lol let's go again! LOL! (over loud speaker I say: to the one that was 'entertaining me last night, you are being paged, beep beep lmao ) hahahahaaaaaaa ;)< giggles >

Lmao Check This Out
Is it possible to have too much of a good thing? There are warring impulses going on within you: extreme courtesy and total extravagance. Walk the line and you'll indulge just enough to have fun without going overboard.

Lmao Got To Love This One, Oh I Have A Real Blog Coming Up Later
Flex your creative muscles. If you're willing to go deep, you'll discover that you have more to contribute than you thought possible. If all these ideas aren't viable now, write them down and save them for later

Lmao 2nd Time Today!
Damn go get a shower and here she is again today, when I left she was off the board! Who viewed me I viewed Blocked Tinadel22 (On TAP) "Totally Happy&#... (Watchin US are U?) Badestbiotch Nyte Ryder (CT Hubby... (On TAP) CherryCodes.com (On TAP) See All

Lmao
You scored as Cinderella, Your alter ego is Cinderella! You often find yourself doing a lot of housework, but if you are patient, your hard work usually pays off. You are prone to losing things, so dont rush through everything.Cinderella88% Goofy81% Sleeping Beauty81% The Beast63% Pinocchio50% Peter Pan50% Cruella De Ville25% Snow White25% Ariel25% Donald Duck13% Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego?created with QuizFarm.com

Lmao
Body: Go to this site & enter your name in the box & hit the Sloganize button. DON'T CHEAT, KEEP THE FIRST ONE THEY GIVE YOU. Add yours to the list and re-post. www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi 1. Ben- "Better ingredients, better Ben." 2. Laura-"Aaahh, Laura!" 3. Gary - "Nobody Better Lay a Finger on my Gary." beat that! 4. biscuit- "Happiness is a cigar called biscuit" 5. Diana - "Leave the Diana To Us" 6. Julie-"Hands that do dishs can be as soft as your Julie" 7. Tim - Its Tim Time! 8. Diana-"It's a Beautiful Diana" 9. MARLENA-Strong and Beautiful, Just Like Marlena. 10. If You Like A Lot Of Rebekah On Your Biscuit, Join Our Club. 11. Try Kelli. You'll like it! 12. Make someone happy with a Sean. 13. With a name like Sarah, it has to be good. 14. Splash Scott All Over. 15. Stop. Go. Lisa. - My slogan sucks! 16. The dirt says hot, the label says Jared 17. Misty-Lickin' Good [I LOVE MINE!] 18. Laney- Good to the last Laney 19. Veronicunt - "Fresh from the Cap

Lmao @ People Who Fill Up Their Photo's With Fake Pictures
I find it hilarious that this guy fills up his pictures with photo's of this bald headed guy and it's not even him! He told a friend of mine it isn't him! He makes fun of fat women and says most of the women who come here are fat but yet he can't use his own photo! I think somebody has something to hide, eh Mister Fatboy!

Lmao I Dont Know About This One But It Was Fun
You Are a Tiny Tease You like to flirt and show off your body, but what confident woman doesn't. You enjoy male attention, and you're usually pretty good at not leading men on. However, there are times when you get carried away with your sexy behavior. It's okay to use your amazing flirting powers for good - but never for evil! Do Men Think You're You A Tease?

Lmao They Never Take The Hint
->billybonez: i'm happy with what i got still billybonez: if you like too sexy billybonez: well look anyways billybonez: ya i have that too ->billybonez: nope i don't go by size of cock i go by size of heart and brains hun billybonez: well ill add you to my friend list you look at my cock then ill be the winn ->billybonez: lmao nope and that's telling the truth got to guys fighting over me and i don't need a third lmao billybonez: whats good sexy is ther room on that bed for me ? ->billybonez: hi billybonez: hi

Lmao
I just wanted to say I was deleted and blocked from a friend on here for putting up the pics...anyone else want to do that? More than welcome..thats the good thing about being my own woman..I get to do what I want..Love you all and enjoy..I will be posting more soon..:)

Lmao
Monday, July 09, 2007 10:05 AM PT Posted by Steve Bass Gotcha! Geek Squad Caught Stealing Porn In a three-month sting, the Consumerist loaded a PC with porn, set it up with a keylogger, and asked the Geek Squad to install iTunes. Consumerist said the hidden program recorded everything and produced a very revealing video. Watch as the tech pokes around, finds what he wants, and copies files to his flash drive

Lmao Me And My Sister
ahaha another random funny convo with my sister Nicole: my ass hurts Nicole: ive been sittin in this chair since about 7 ME: lmao ME: i sit in my chair way longer than that Nicole: yeah but you have more cushion Nicole: lol ME: stfu Nicole: I mean on the seat Nicole: ours is like Nicole: just material Nicole: I didnt mean ur ass ahaahaha

Lmao Who's Been Givin Out My Secrets!?!
L • I • B • R • A: The sex addict Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique sexiness. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing n Bed..!!! Did I say Amazing in Bed? not the kind of person you wanna fuck with... u might end up crying... the most irresistible.Rare 2 find. Funny. Talkitive. Erotic. Smart. loves sports. gets what he/she wants. Loves to be in a relationship.

Lmao I Am None Of Them!!
ANNOUNCEMENT: Mattel has recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Long Island, NY market. They are:___________________________________________________________North Shore, Nassau County Barbie :This princess Barbie is sold only at Roosevelt Field Mall and Walt Whitman Mall. She comes with several Prada and Louis Vuitton handbags, a Guess watch, Lexus SUV and a foreign dog named "Honey". Her Glen Cove mansion and Gotti family neighbors sold separately.Manorville Barbie:The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind Star Mini-van and matching gym outfit. Included is a King Kullen grocery store and Hunter's Run or Frontier Trail Dream House When you press the button on her back she screams at her kids "Hurry up and get in the van, we have to go pick up your father up at the 6:20 train in Ronkonkoma!" Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.North Bellport Barbie:This Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, and 4 summons to appear in Islip Central Court

Lmao July 29th , 2007 Libra Horoscope
Sometimes you look at your current place in life and marvel. This is miles away from what you said you wanted -- but face it, this situation suits you right down to the ground. Funny how the universe works, isn't it?

Lmao Funny See What Ct Does To A Person Life
~BROWN EYEZ~@ fubar This is proof that I dont love you, and the ct people can read why I dont cause I dont care anymore [22:08] 17@sbcglobal.net: its cherrytap [22:08] princess_sonia_marquez28: but i miss u on it [22:08] princess_sonia_marquez28: come back [22:09] princess_sonia_marquez28: please [22:09] 17@sbcglobal.net: why [22:09] princess_sonia_marquez28: so we can be on eachothers page [22:09] 17@sbcglobal.net: you can get off it [22:09] princess_sonia_marquez28: no u can get back on [22:10] 17@sbcglobal.net: why cant you escape it [22:10] princess_sonia_marquez28: i am addicted [22:10] princess_sonia_marquez28: i told u [22:11] princess_sonia_marquez28: babe? [22:11] 17@sbcglobal.net: ya [22:11] princess_sonia_marquez28: come back to ct [22:11] princess_sonia_marquez28: please [22:11] princess_sonia_marquez28: :( [22:11] 17@sbcglobal.net: nah sorry hun [22:12] princess_sonia_marquez28: for me? [22:12] princess_sonia_marquez28: i guess u dont love me

Lmao
I just got threaten by some loser claiming to be a cowboy, he said he is gonna have 2000 people block me. LMAO 2000 people that i dont give a fuck about so heres a Salute to the 2000 losers that will be blocking me today.

Lmao... Guess Soo...
LMAO.... gotta luv this place!!! I guess its official.. lol... I'm a slut for wanting to know if there were guys here that didn't talk shit about their size.. whine about 'come see my cam'.. then back out at the first hint of 'yeah-show me'.. And yeah FTR... just cuz I want to chat.. doesn't mean I want to see what you got... I'm a slut.. because I perferr to show off my legs instead of flash my tits or anything else nature gave me. Sorry but never once have I said.. 'hey come see my tits.. come watch me shake my ass'... You want to 'see me'.. then get to know me first.. If I'm a slut for that.. well then.. I guess so...... ~Candyce~

Lmao Ummm.. New Spin On Ur Zodiac
Hornyscopes!! AQUARIUS Jan 21 - Feb 19 Ruling Planet: URANUS. The God of unexpected sexual twists and turns Aquarians make much better friends than lovers, but when a typical Aquarian gets some bang-bang, it's more an intellectual experience than an emotional one. Looks aren't important to Aquarians in a relationship, it's the mind and spirit of a lover that turns Aquarius on.They are very entertaining in bed and are probably the most inventive of all the signs.Mental stimulation is more important to them than physical, which means that pornography gets them hot! Aquarians are impatient and like sex to be fast and satisfying. They are very particular about hygiene and contraception and sleeping around holds little interest for them. FAVE POSITION Mutual masturbation. BEST SEX TOY A Dildo. Whether gay, straight, male or female, Aquarians will have some fun with this. AQUARIUS MALE IN BED He has amazing staying power in the sack. He can keep at it and control hims

Lmao I Have To Say One Thing To Guys And Their Rudeness
GUYS WHOM THINK ASKING ME , IF I WANT TO SEE THE WILLEYS , " GET A CLUE " I HAVE BEEN IN THE NURSING FIELD " SINCE THE AGE OF 16 YRS OLD. YOU SEE ONE YOU HAVE SEEN THEM ALL . SO, IF YOU THINK SHOUT BOXIN ME IS GOIN TO IMPRESS ME THINK AGAIN . BECAUSE ITS NOT . 2 GET A WHORE OR GET A LIFE . BECAUSE YOU MUST BE PRETTY BORED WITH YOUR LIFE . AND IM VERY CONTENT WITH WHOM IM WITH . AND CALLIN ME A " BITCH " WELL , YOU GOT THAT RIGHT , BECAUSE IM A BITCH WHEN , YOU DISRESPECT ME .

Lmao Ok This Is Just Retarded
(ohhhhh and i left him a message on his page) this guy i rated a ten yesterday i believe went and told another person i rated him a one so sends her over and she downrates me......i ask who the person was after askin why she downrates me and what her prob is and she says his name is stewed screwed and tattooed...i look him up and go to his page and low and behold my rate for him is sittin at a ten....straight up i have the convo in mail can post that to if needed but this guy don't have his facts straight as to who downrated him b4 assumin check the shit out.....heres Mr.ASSUMIN.....unless he just a hater. if ya want the mail let me know won;t have a prob addin it. Stewed-Screwed & Tattooed™Fubar hubby to AngelicThor™@ fubar

Lmao
Some point whore came to my page yesterday day and did the typical "I rated and fanned you, now please do the same!" Well I didn't. So she took the time and effort to come back to my page and give me a 1. Talk about pathetic!

-lmao-
1. When choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself. 2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop. 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink 4. To treat high blood pressure: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer. 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. 7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. 8. When confused remember, everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Lmao
Well, hell...I did it again. Went and got myself blocked from the mumms. That sucks cause I had so much fun last night. Oh well. I am so stupid sometimes. Stayed up until 5am drinking, got drunker than a skunk. My boss calls at 8:20 and wakes me up. LOL I have a good boss and am very thankful for that. Missed two hours of work....still drunk, got the shakes. Will I ever learn? Hmm, I think it might have been worth it! Oh btw, I am marking every damn thing NSFW. Damn bouncers.

Lmao!
Q. Why do men become smarter during sex? A. Because they are plugged into a genius Q. Why don't women blink during sex? A. They don't have enough time Q. Why does it take 1 Million sperm to fertilize one egg? A. Because they don't ask for directions Q. Why do men snore when they lie on their backs? A. Because their balls fall over their butts and they vapor lock. (You're laughing, aren't you!?!) Q. Why were men given larger brains than dogs? A. So they won't hump women's legs at parties Q. Why did God make man before woman? A. You need a rough draft before the final copy Q. How many men does it take to put a toilet seat down? A. Don't know....it's never happened (come on we laugh at your blonde jokes) Q. Why did God put men on earth? A. Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn or fix the car

Lmao Check This Out!!!!
LOL ok now this is some funny stuff!!! I think we have all been there... looked at someones profile and not done anything .. ie rate comment etc... well check out this comment I got just cause I didn't do anything for her! LOL check it out!!! LOL How should I respond to this??? I mean she did give me points by leaving me a comment! LMAO

Lmao
Two ladies talking in heaven: 1st woman : Hi! My name is Wanda. 2nd woman : Hi! I'm Kelly. How'd you die? 1st woma n : I Froze to Death. 2nd woman : How Horrible! 1st woman : It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? 2nd woman : I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. 1st woman: So, what happened? 2nd woman : I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died. 1st woman : Too bad you didn't look in the freezer-

Lmao To Funny
you gotta see this , he thinks hes king dong, mr player , yet hes engaged. but wanted to hook up with me and has hooked up with a few from site..girlfriend must not be doing her job well,lol!whishin 4 u@ fubar

Lmao At This One
A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 60 miles per Hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at Her and speaks in a clear voice. "I know we've been married for twenty Years, but I want a divorce." The wife says nothing, Keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 65 mph. The husband speaks again. "I don 't want you to try and talk me out of it," He says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, And she's a far better lover than you are." Again the wife stays quiet, But grips the steering wheel more tightly and Slowly increases the speed to 75 He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he Says insistently.. Up to 80. "I want the car, too," he continues. 85 mph. "And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards And the boat!" The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes Him nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anythin

Lmao!!
My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.

Lmao!
Columbus, OH (AP) - A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Franklin > County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over > who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by > his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in > keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family > unity be maintained to the highest degree possible. > > The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him > more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When > the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy > cried and said that they also beat him. > After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning > that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the > judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who > should have custody of him. > > After two recesses to check legal references and confer wit

Lmao
A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother > asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location. Too > embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a > photo in half and mails it. The next day he discovers that he had > accidentally sent the bottom half of the photo. He's really worried but then > remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, so hopes she won't notice. > A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his Grandmother. > > It says: Thank you for the picture. Change your hairstyle. It makes your > nose look too short. > > Love, Grandma

Lmao Convo With Sis
haha so me and my sis had a lil convo in the shout box and i thought it was kinda funny. read it from bottom to top ♥-N...: pfft lol..fuzzy navel lmao (her) ->♥-N...: lmfao i kno right (me) ♥-N...: thats a drink?..wouldnt it be like a hair belly button? (her) ♥-N...: fuzzy navel lmfao (her)

Lmao Too Funny...a Must Read.....
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: I do physical labor. I work at great depths. I plunge headfirst into everything I do. I do not get weekends or public holidays off. I work in a damp environment. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation. I work in high temperatures. My work exposes me to contagious diseases. Sincerely, P. Niss The Response: Dear Penis: After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons: You do not work 8 hours straight. You fall asleep after brief work periods. You do not always follow the orders of the management team. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift. You don't alway

Lmao ... Some May Say Nsfw!
FIRST TESTIMONY: I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.

#5 Lmao Nsfw ??
FIFTH TESTIMONY: Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. The realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No" I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearl

Lmao
->GrASShoppe...: I dont think so can I call you asshat GrASShoppe...: can i be your kid and call you momma ->GrASShoppe...: lmao just my kid GrASShoppe...: thats good........i gotta tell you a secret.......for some reason i want to call you momma.....do anyone on this site say that to you? ->GrASShoppe...: Im good GrASShoppe...: how r u doing this night ->GrASShoppe...: hello GrASShoppe...: hey

Lmao.... You Will Get Tired Of Me Doing This
Help me please!!!!!!!! http://fubar.com/viewimage.php?u=276006&i=3962737862 This was written by the contest holder.... not me. I am not in this family... thanks!These are the rules as follows: """ANYONE out of my family AKA Night Walker Bombers are NOT ALLOWED to comment or any thing. There will be no drama if there is drama i will pull you out of the contest. NO cheating as in PROGRAMS. No DownRating others in contest. If a tie I will use the most rates. 1st place is . a one month vip or 7day blast 2 place is what the first doesnt take. 3. place is big pimpin gifts 4. place is big pimpin gifts EVERYONE WILL GET A TROPHY FOR JOINING You will get your prices at first happy hour after contest. START DATE 09-26-07 700PM EST ENDING DATE 10-03-07 700PM EST THANKS EVERYONE FOR JOINING JAMES (JAMESFLORIDA)"""" I need to get the most comments!!Please help me... you know you want to. Ok, I want you to, but I will return the love best I can. Thank

Lmao
* 1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it. 2. Extension to rule #1 – So if you get one, be grateful. 3. I don’t care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it is not standard practice to cum on someone’s face. 4. Extension to rule #3 – No, I DON’T have to swallow. 5. My ears are NOT handles. 6. Extension to rule #5 – do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick? 7. I don’t care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart. 8. Having my period does not mean that it’s "hummer week" – get it through your head – I’m bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don’t feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can’t have sex right now. 9. Extension to #8 – "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls – if you’re that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol. 10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth,

Lmao
Last May, Boudreaux married an attractive woman, Lola, half his age. After several months, Lola complained that she had never climaxed during sex; and according to her Grand Momma, all Cajun women are entitled to a climax once in a while. So, to resolve the problem, they went to see the large-animal Vet since there was no trustworthy doctor anywhere in Carencro. The Vet didn't have a clue, but he did recall how, during the hot summer, his Momma and Daddy, would fan a cow that was having any difficulty breeding with a big towel. This would cool her down and make her relax. So, the Vet told them to hire a strong, virile, young man to wave a big towel over them while they were having sex. This, the Vet said, would cause the young wife to cool down, relax, then climax. So the couple hired a strong young man from the big city of Baton Rouge to wave that big towel over them as the Vet suggested. After many efforts, Lola still had not climaxed! They went back to the Vet. The Vet said for L

Lmao
YES ITS A BIT CHILDISH---ok damn-i found it on some girl's page but I laughed. 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares".... and see what happens. 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask

Lmao I Really Do!
I am just going to write about a bulletin I just saw that said "We Got Class" It kind of struck me as funny.. I think I have class...Just cause I am not afraid to show my shit, and am proud of what I have for my age...LOL SO there..I do have class...just a different way of showing it..LOL One other thing..it should read "We Have Class" LMAO My input for the day...:) Hugs and kisses!

Lmao
Your Happy Hour Summary Hide header Date: Tue, 16 Oct 2007 00:00:00 -0700 (PDT) From: Size: 16 KB To: baby_boy232006@fubar.com Reply-To: Congratulations! Your happy hour was a great success: lots of people gave lots of love. 80 members leveled up during your happy hour: ??? 'Newfu' (1) campbellof2005 'Newfu' (1) crybaby 'Fu-Fighter' (5) Silly Sibin 'Newfu' (1) its me 'Newfu' (1) B Mc 'Fu-ling' (2) M. Elena 'Newfu' (1) GoldenTouch 'Fu-ling' (2) robertstull82 'Fu-ling' (2) angledustbabe 'Fu-ling' (2) Blondie 'Fu-ling' (2) the1andONLYmolly 'Newfu' (1) Sassy 'Grasshopper' (3) RedHotRedhead 'Newfu' (1) Nick 'Grasshopper' (3) Vivid 'Newfu' (1) ~HAWAIIAN_ANGELZ~ 'Fu-gee' (16) iolite11 'Bad Fu' (13) Stevezonline 'Twisted Fu' (6) whtgurl_4_blk 'Psycho' (8) DJ Sunshine~Full Throttle Radio¢¾DJ Tigger's Fu Wifey*Chita's A$$ kicker 'Assassin' (18) chand 'Fu-Fighter' (5) Radissongirl 'Freak' (9

Lmao What A Day
Sexxy_Beast420@ fubar Sexxy_Beast420 rated your photo a '1'! 18 min ago · Sexxy_Beast420 rated your photo a '1'! 18 min ago · Sexxy_Beast420 rated your photo a '1'! 18 min ago · Sexxy_Beast420 rated your photo a '1'! 19 min ago · Sexxy_Beast420 rated your photo a '1'! 19 min ago · Sexxy_Beast420 rated your photo a '1'! 19 min ago · Sexxy_Beast420 rated your photo a '1'! 19 min ago · Sexxy_Beast420 rated your photo a '1'! 19 min ago · Sexxy_Beast420 rated your photo a '1'! 19 min ago · Sexxy_Beast420 rated your photo a '1'! 20 min ago · Sexxy_Beast420 rated your photo a '1'! 20 min ago · Sexxy_Beast420 rated your photo a '1'! 20 min ago · Sexxy_Beast420 rated your photo a '1'! 20 min ago · Sexxy_Beast420 rated your photo a '1'! 20 min ago · Sexxy_Beast420 rated your photo a '1'! 21 min ago · Sexxy_Beast420 rated your photo a '1'! 21 min ago · Sexxy_Beast420 rated your photo a '1'! 21 min ago · Sexxy_Beast420 rated your photo a

Lmao
I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red,orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?" Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one. And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response. "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."

Lmao!!!
A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well. "What's the matter?" he asks. "I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice. "What the hell is anal glaucoma?" "I can't see my ass coming into work today."

Lmao
Jot this down! Boycott WalMart has entered a rare giveaway! Prizes are phenomenal!!! Everything from tickers all the way to HH's and everything in between! As You all know, I lost my VIP, and this is a great chance to not only get it back, but I could get a years VIP!!! WOOT!!! Comment one of theses pics is all I ask! 10, 20, 100, 1000?...How many you wanna do is up to you! Pic #1 Click here! Pic #2 Click Here! Thank you all who have helped and all who are going to!!! Pleez Help!!! Please Repost!!!!

Lmao...tell Me Why
Ok, can someone tell me why half the people on here older than me act like they back in High School with their childish actions? I just don't get it honestly. I can see the BS and the crying and whining coming from most of the young prissy ass "I'm better than you are" type of humans up on this site and I just ignore those people (I mean dam if you can't handle internet drama without crying your stupid ass off, then lawd knows what you do when you encounter REAL drama in real life) but can the adults that are older than me...act like they are older and mature adults? I just don't understand what the major problem is...are your lives that boring and non-existant that you must boo hoo over Fubar shit? There's hatred everywhere and especially on here, and it's probably cause you pretending to be someone you really aint, but either way...GET OVER IT and move on!

Lmao..fubucks..lmao
Messed the title up..LMAO This is the last thing I can think of to get help. I will give a 1,000 Fubucks to anyone that drops 100 comments on this contest page..count them out cause I can check..We really need help! Can't you help a poor girl out?..:(

Lmao Funny As
A new priest at his first mass was so Nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door from the monsignor: 1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp. 2) There are 10 commandments, not 12. 3) There are 12 disciples, not 10. 4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated. 5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass. 6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C. 7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook. 8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of him. 9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey

Lmao Im Such A Thief Lol
Superstore A store that sells new husbands has just opened in Sydney, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. >The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs. She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor,where the sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. That's nice", she thinks, "but I want more." So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep goin

Lmao Funny Stuff Brings New Meaning To The Word Kissing Ass
If I were in this situation I sooooooooo would sit with chocolate and watch and grin! (...no... Not ALL mother-in-laws are evil... but here's one for those of you that aren't as fortunate as others) A married couple was in a terrible accident where the Man's face was severely burned. The doctor told the Husband that they could not graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty! One day, he was alone with his wife, and he wa

Lmao
So the newest site feature is the status message. Most sites have had this since day one, but Fu was a little reluctant to add it, maybe because of the nature of the site. So when I see this, I naturally change my status to "in a relationship". Something I think anyone who has asked me, or talked to me already knew btw. Of course I get some of my fun joksters shedding tears over my unavailability. However I also had some people decide they didn't want to befriend me any longer. And I don't mean people I never hear from, I am talking about people who I have talked to and known on here for a year or more. I started to ask one of them what the deal was, but then I stopped. I alredy knew the deal. I just find it really ridiculous that someone would invest pretending to be friends with someone in hopes to hook up, or something. A day, two... ok. But when they are upfront about being happy with someone else, whats the point? And why does a website status make it more serious than when I sa

Lmao
A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job." The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, and he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips and you will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The salary is $200,000 a year." The guy, wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!" The social worker said, "Yeah, well . . . you started it."

Lmao...@public Arguments!
OK... I went to YouTube... I was looking for a sexy song... Kinda in the mood here... Have to admit, used the search term "fuck" But came across these videos... And started laughing my ass off... (Someone I know likes to keep arguments private) LMAOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Lmao...i'm A Statistic!
I am one of 156 million... Presidential candidates Hilary Clinton, Barack Obama, and John Edwards were flying to a convention. Barack looked at Hilary, chuckled, and said "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy." Hilary shrugged her shoulders and replied "I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy." John added "That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy." Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot "Such big shots back there. I could throw ALL THREE of them out of the window and make 156 million people happy!"

Lmao...automotive Safety!
A married couple are driving along a highway doing a steady speed of 60 miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice: "I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce." ~~~~~ The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead, but slowly increases her speed to 65 mph. ~~~~~ The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it," he says "because I have been having an affair with your best friend, and she's a far better lover than you are." ~~~~~ Again the wife remains quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and increases the speed to 75 mph. ~~~~~ He pushes his luck, "I want the house" he says insistently. ~~~~~ Up to 80 mph. ~~~~~ He continues "I want the car too." ~~~~~ Up to 85 mph. ~~~~~ "And" he says, "I'll have all the bank accounts, the credit cards, and the boat!" ~~~~~ The car slowly slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. Thi

Lmao...simulator!
Instructions: After the webpage loads, click the "male button" first... THEN click the "female button!" KEEP CLICKING!!! It WILL come to an end, but it's hilarious! http://www.bitoffun.com/weirds-orgasmic_simulator.htm

Lmao... Anger Management
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying 'Hello.' I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?' Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear 'Get the right f***ing number!' and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled 'You're an asshole!' and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad d

Lmaoooooooooooooo Just My Luck
A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing. "Damn, that was stupid," she thought as she fell. "What a way to die." As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms. While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you suck?" "No!" she shrieked, aghast. So, he dropped her. As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her. "Do you screw?" he asked. "Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself. He dropped her, too. The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. "I suck! I screw!" she screamed in panic. "Slut!" he said, and dropped her.

Lmao
ok so I doubt this really qualifies as a blog but I don't care it's hilarious!!! There are a lot of words that you can use to describe men - strong, caring, loving - they'd be wrong - but you could still use them. Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes. It's our job to stomp them, and then keep them in the dark until they mature. And hopefully they'll turn out to be something we would like to have dinner with. Men-tal Anxiety. . . Men-opause. . . Men-tal Breakdown. Ever noticed that all problems start with MEN? Q: What's the best way to kill a man? A: Put a naked blonde and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one. Q: What do men and pantyhose have in common? A. They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch! Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe. Q: What is the difference between men and women? A: A woman wants one man to satisfy h

Lmao... A Story With A Moral!
There IS a moral to the story! In the dead of summer, a fly was resting among leaves beside a stream. The hot, dry fly said to no one in particular, 'Gosh... If I go down three inches, I will feel the mist from the water and be refreshed.' There was a fish in the water thinking, 'Gosh... If that fly goes down three inches, I can eat him.' There was a bear on the shore thinking, 'Gosh, if that fly goes down three inches, that fish will jump for the fly and I will grab the fish!' It also happened that a hunter was farther up the bank of the stream preparing to eat a cheese sandwich... 'Gosh...' he thought 'if that fly goes down three inches, And that fish jumps for it, The bear will expose himself And I will shoot the bear and have a proper lunch.' A wee mouse by the hunter's foot was thinking, 'Gosh... If that fly goes down three inches, And that fish jumps for the fly, And that bear grabs for the fish, The dumb hunter will shoot the bear an

Lmao: Huck Man Supports Ron Paul, Plus Fox's Losses
LMAO: Huck Man Supports Ron Paul, PLUS Fox's Losses Thanks The Farmer Formerly Known AS Prince Date: Jan 5, 2008 3:09 PM ----------------- Bulletin Message ----------------- From: woody Date: Jan 5, 2008 3:47 PM ----------------- Bulletin Message ----------------- From: Philo-sophia Date: Jan 5, 2008 2:39 PM This is soooooooo mine for some video fun! Love it - notice how weak he says Huckabee's name after he did Ron Paul. ----------------- Bulletin Message ----------------- From: Will To Power Date: Jan 5, 2008 12:25 PM ----------------- Bulletin Message ----------------- From: Jennifer Date: Jan 5, 2008 1:12 PM Huckabee spokesman bloopers for Ron Paul ----------------- Bulletin Message ----------------- From: Matt (Pro U.S. Constitution, Pro Ron Paul 08) Date: Jan 5, 2008 11:56 AM his whole speech supports Ron Paul... especially at the end! and FOX is losing $$$. From: Republican Liberty Caucus Of Texas Date: Jan 5, 2008 2:38

Lmao~~~pill Pic Made It So Funny!
FUKITOL~~~~1000mg (too bad the pic of it didnt show up!!!) ?? NEW ?DRUGS FOR WOMEN DAMNITOL? Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.? EMPTYNESTROGEN? Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out!? ST. MOMMA'S WORT? Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.? PEPTOBIMBO? Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.? DUMBEROL? When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.? FLIPITOR Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.? MENICILLIN?? Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as,

Lmao... The Little Pianist
A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag. The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about one foot high and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well. He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench, which he places in front of the piano. The little man sits down at the piano and starts playing a beautiful piece by Mozart! 'Where on earth did you get that?' says the bartender. The man responds by reaching into the paper bag. This time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says: 'Here. Rub it.' So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of smoke and a beautiful genie is standing before him. 'I will grant you one wish. Just one wish~~ each person is only allowed one!' The bartender gets real excited. Without hesitating he say

Lmao... Onestone, The Indian
There once was an Indian who had only one testicle, and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, "If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!" The word got around and nobody called him that any more. Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning, Onestone." He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion. The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do. Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away. Yellow Bird,who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone." Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the for

Lmao... I Love My Job!
If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won. Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite co

Lmao
LMAO ........."""There was a cucumber, a pickle, and a penis sitting around talking about how their lives sucked. The cucumber "Man, my life sucks. When I get big, fat, and juicy, they cut me up and stick me on a salad." The pickle looks at him and says, "You think you have it bad? When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick me in vinegar, put spices on me, and stick me in a jar." The penis looks at him and says, "You think you have it rough? When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick a rubber strap on my head, stick me in a dark room, and bang my head against the wall until I throw up and pass out!. Send to eight of your freakiest friends. If u get 0-2 back you are average If you get 3-5 you are a freak If you get 6-8 then you are a major freak, and need a leash"""

Lmao... You Know You're A Real Nurse When...
1) The front of your scrubs reads "Nurses... here to save your ass, not kiss it!" 2) you occasionally park in the space with the"physicians only" sign...and knock it over. 3) you believe some patients are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. 4) you recognize that you can't cure stupid. 5) you own at least three pens with the names of prescription medications on them. 6) you believe there's a special place in hell for the inventor of the call light. 7) you believe that saying "it can't get any worse" causes it to get worse just to show you it can. 8) you wash your hands BEFORE you go to the bathroom. 9) you believe that any job where you can drive to work in your pajamas is a cool one. 10) you consider a tongue depressor an eating utensil. 11) eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly natural. 12) you've been exposed to so many x-rays that you consider it a form of birth control. 13) you've ever heard a patient with

Lmao~! All You Stupid...
phucks. "Ohh, please repost this bulletin. Help find "ILuvSporks" babys killer. Yeah, yeah. Blah, fuggin blah. The day I saw all the "Baby Alijah Support Ribbon" icons popping up along with the bulletin repostings I clicked the links in the bulletin. I read that "Sporks" had stopped cooperating with police. Duh, no schit. That wasnt a surprise to me. I posted on HER page, "Why have you stopped cooperating"? Some other douche on here sent a message along the lines of, "Hey asshole (or some other profanity) why are you fuggin with Sporks asking why shes not cooperating"? Well, now you know why. Charged with child endangerment. Schitbags lie with schitbags. All you low rent, trailer park, Jerry Springer fugg ups (which in my month? on here appears to make up at least 80% of the membership here) can eat crow and fugg off and die.

Lmao
TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN. AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL. THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, "GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT A BLOW-UP DOLL IN EACH BED. THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE." THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS. AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS, "YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!" 'DEAD?' SAYS HIS FRIEND, 'WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?' 'WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER.' HIS FRIEND SAYS, 'COULD BE WORSE, I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH.' 'A WITCH ? WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT?' THE OTHER FRIEND HOOTED. 'WELL , I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK, AND I BIT HER ON THE HOOTERS. SHE FARTED, FLEW OUT THE WINDOW AND

Lmao
A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country. ~~~ Well, there's a very simple answer. ~~~ Nobody bothered to check the oil. ~~~ We just didn't know we were getting low. ~~~ The reason for that is purely geographical ~~~ Our OIL is located in ~~~ ALASKA ~~~ California ~~~ Coastal Florida ~~~ Coastal Louisiana ~~~ Kansas ~~~ Oklahoma ~~~ Pennsylvania and Texas ~~~ Our DIPSTICKS are located in Washington, DC!!! An

Lmao
I deleted someone associated with sonny 'cause of her status and sent her why I had, this is part of the reply, and sorry to go back to the drama but this cracked me up. PS. Sonny said he's sending your addy out to all the biker lounges on fubar! Have a nice day! :) WTF?

Lmao!
OK, I commented on like 2 pictures of some random girl, and her b/f was apparently behind the computer. The convo that followed was just too funny not to post, I honestly could not believe I could bait him for over 5 minutes before he blocked me. Read from the bottom up of course. Enjoy :). babygirl_2008: fuck you ->babygirl_2008: ah...anger management issues...common in young growing boys babygirl_2008: dude you are really pissing me off ->babygirl_2008: tell me all about how having a small pee-pee makes u feel like less of a male ->babygirl_2008: little boy...wait...don't run away like that...u need to open up and express ur feelings babygirl_2008: fuck you good bye ->babygirl_2008: did ur step-daddy "touch u down there"? ->babygirl_2008: but all little boys are...tell me how u got this way ->babygirl_2008: lmao!! god ur easy to bait babygirl_2008: dude you don't want me to come down there ->babygirl_2008: no, ur an insecure little boy babygirl_2008: fuck you ass

Lmao
Here you go i found alot so hope you like!!!! Again, in keeping with my on-going losing battle with OCD, I wrote down all the outrageous, inspiring, offensive, enraging, insipid, bewildering, or hilarious statements made in 2007. Enjoy. -JPS "Yeah, they got the eyes like they're Oriental, and, you know, it's all pulled. So make sure you do it right." - Pat Robertson, noting that people like Fox News host Greta Van Susteren who get plastic surgery have strange-looking eyes "Welcome to Scotland" - Scotland's new slogan, which is what an ad agency came up with for a new "exciting" slogan after spending six months on the initiative and getting paid 125,000 pounds -- about $258,750 -- by the Scottish government "Since when did I become the spokesperson for nappy-headed hos?" - Wanda Sykes, on being contacted by every media outlet for her views on Don Imus. She also added, I "thought Imus died, like, nine years ago. ... [He has] one of those faces that belongs in the

Lmao
how's this for stupidity... My dad hated this one neighbour in particular so one day decided to lob a rock through his window, and followed through on said plan. Now here's the dumb part. A certain amount of minutes later he went back and repeated said process, only to nearly hit a policeman standing inside looking over the damage. How I came out smart no one knows

Lmao
->Smilez: dude you don't have to be a perv to be on this site so you go away and don't talk to me again Smilez: u go away ->Smilez: why you say that for. sheesh i'm a decent woman and if you don't like it go away. i don't show things because i respect my bf and myself not to do that Smilez: fuck that ->Smilez: nope i respect my boyfriend to much to do anything like that Smilez: why no nakies ->Smilez: accept my friends request ->Smilez: i don't have any that are naked it's just funnies Smilez: can i see your nsfw pics ->Smilez: not much just trying to get people to help me with my contest pic. been out of comment rates since 7 this morning Smilez: whats up honey ->Smilez: hello Smilez: hey

Lmao Finally
· your fubar level just increased to '22' (Henchman)! · your fubar level just increased to '22' (Henchman)! · fubar shop just sent you a message! Favorite American Idol offer approved You have been awarded 7,500 points for the Favorite American Idol offer.

Lmaoo New Anti - Love/lust Shot , Check It Out!
MEDICAL BREAKTHROUGH!!IT'S AMAZING!! FIRST EVER TO GET NEW ANTI-LOVE SHOT!!JADE SAYS SHE'LL NEVER GO BACK! A Beverly Hills woman, 40 year old Jade (last name not provided), is the first American to receive a new vaccine developed by Whittier Labs, a Florida research facility. Dubbed "the Marriage Vaccine", Whittier Labs is quick to point out that the breakthrough, whose chemical trade name is "nyetsx4moi", is not really a vaccine at all, but rather a chemical which, when injected intramuscularly, inhibits a person's interest in the opposite sex. "What nyetsx4moi actually does," says company spokesperson Deborah Viccors, "is totally negate the body's automatic responses to the opposite sex. Men can take it, and so can women. In effect, it makes the opposite sex virtually invisible to the user. What I mean is, the user of this drug will view persons of the opposite sex as though they were persons of the same sex---there will be no sexual or romantic interest at all."

Lmao Kingpin Is A False Flaggin Fake Nigga!!!!!
READ FROM BOTTOM UP....IM IN ALL CAPS.....HE BLOCKED ME RIGHT AFTER HIS LAST MESSAGE I ADDED AFTERWARDS THAT SINCE HE WAS "ON PAROLE FOR A LIL SNITCH" THAT HE PROBABLY WAS SOMEONE'S BITCH IN PRISON.....HE BLOCKED ME kingpin: your a fucking looser ooo im in a gang im cool have fun in prison u will be someones bitch ->kingpin: OK WATS YER FAVORITE COLOR? kingpin: ha you dont even know ->kingpin: YEAH NIGGA LOOK AT MY PICS YOU SEE THAT GREEN? WEST SIDE PIRU ->kingpin: DO THAT SHIT OUT HERE YOUR ASS WOULD GET KILLED ->kingpin: YOU A FALSE FLAGGIN ASS NIGGA ->kingpin: EVERY BLOOD WHO HAS EVER BEEN BLOOD CAN TELL ME WAT THAT RED BE LIKE kingpin: you shits different then how we do things here ->kingpin: WAT THAT RED BE LIKE? ->kingpin: CUZ YOU AINT REAL BLOOD EVERY BLOOD IN THE WORLD KNOWS THE ANSWER TO THAT kingpin: you shits different then the way we run ->kingpin: I SAID SCALES YOU FAKE ASS NIGGA kingpin: what are u a 1 ->kingpin: WRONG PUSSY kingpin: 4 st

Lmao
A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone. "No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?" His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat: I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache.' It worked! The headaches are all gone. " Well, that is wonderful", says the husband. His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?" The husband agrees to try it. Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his

Lmao Ok So I'm Easily Amused This Morning
All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal- The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair, and now... the wax. My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (Y A THINK!?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and

Lmao
Officially the most desperate and awful pick up line in my SB: "hi are you single? do you like to talk on the phone? do you have yahoo messenger? what's your id? can you please answer all 4 of my questions please?"

Lmao
Sasquatch ~ Loved by many Hated by none sent you a Hershey Kiss received: 06/30/2008 11:31 am replied: no block this member Flag as spam "Your husband is a very lucky man. You are a knockout. Have a funny day!" ---- I replied saying.. "you do realize this picture is NOT me right.. ffs" lmao

Lmao
A man walks into a bar and sits down for a drink.Behind the bar he notices a large jar full of money with a sign taped to it "Win this whole jar." He asks the bar tender "so how do I win that jar full of cash?".The bar tender replies,"well there is three things you have to do to win this money." "The first is,do you see that large man sitting at the end bar stool down there,you have to punch him off the stool..if you can" "The second is,there is a viscious dog around back,you have to rip all his teeth out and bring them back here to the bar and have em' counted." "And the third..there is a 90 year old woman in the back room who hasn't been laid in 60 years,you have to have sex with that." The man thinks about it and says "fuck that!" but after 12 beers and some shots.The man gets up and walks over to the man at the end of the bar and knocks him clean off the stool with one punch.He then goes out back for the dog.After about a half hour of yelling and barking,the man walks back inside t

Lmao : A Study Of The Effects Of School Girl Uniforms
A Study of the Effects of School Girl Uniforms... by SensitiveSuccubus© A Study of the Effects of School Girl Uniforms on Adult Males It had been an enigma over time, a complicated puzzle of forced femininity on creatures who by all rights are already feminine, a torture impressed upon helpless young people in order to eliminate individuality and promote mindless conformity. The mystery in question is the Catholic Girl School Uniform (or CGSU). The mystery is not in its use or effects on discipline, but rather the arousal effects on adult males, and more inexplicably, the desire by many women including fifty-something housewives to wear them for their hubbies (or just about anyone else). This discourse is to declare our findings to get people thinking about this odd medical condition and its possibly dangerous effects on the male population. The Division for Irresponsible Studies polled 4107 adult males ages 18-56 on their sexual interest in women wearing the CGSU. Each of

Lmao Too Funny !!!!
A jumbo jet is making its final approach to Tampa Airport. The pilot comes on the intercom, 'This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Tampa. I want to thank you for flying with us today and hope you enjoy your stay in the Tampa Bay area'. He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit. The copilot can be heard saying to the pilot, 'So, Skip, whatcha got planned while we're in Tampa?' 'Well,' says the skipper, 'first I'm gonna check into the hotel, take a big crap....then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge tits out for dinner.... I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and give her a ride on the baloney pony all night long.' Aghast and amused, everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisle, trying to figure out who is the new stewardess who the pilot is talking about. Meanwhile, the new stewardess is seated at the very b

Lmao
well lets see i posted a blogg and thought i would get threats on here but 1n control some how got my cell number and is maken threats well anyone who knows me knows i aint right and to bring it to dorr and reynolds and get whooped im tired of the games i am talken to y2little she is my friend and for you to call my phone and told me he was gonna shoot me am i scared fuk no i am for not scared of some punk aszz wack azz dude you sing shoot this and shoot that well dawg i can play guns too but i am better then that use your fist get your feelings hurt you are twice my size i am not scared now nor will i ever be scared of a living anything i am me and i trust that when you threaten me that your all talk ur old skool im old skool lets box like old skoolers for sure or stop sweaten me and stop singin th blues get ur head out ur ass and stop maken un promisen threats to me compared to you im a lil ass dude so u should have nothing to worry about lol but dinomite comes in small packages an

Lmaoo Ok , Yes, I'm A Dorkette Or Dorkalene!!
Had a shower, didn't shave me legs soooo figured ain't gettin back in just to do that, I'll just shave em , dry! :-S BIG MISTAKE , I wasn't thinkin whatsoeverrrrrrrrrr cuz I shoulda learned this lil lesson before!!! so, razor burn starts, "I" decide to grab the lotion , BAD BAD IDEA!!!!!! burningggggggg freakin legggggggg.... oh oh ICE! yea , ICE works!! ........ NOT IF YOU DONT' FREAKIN WASH THE LOTION OFF FIRST!!!!! OMG WHERE *IS* MY MIND : GIGGLES : LMMFAOOO @ MESSELF!!

Lmao
Black hurricanes.... Well, it appears our African-American friends have found yet something else to be pissed about. A black congresswoman (this would be Sheila Jackson Lee, of Houston ), reportedly complained that the names of hurricanes are all Caucasian sounding names. She would prefer some names that reflect African-American culture such as Chamiqua, Tanisha, Woeisha, Shaqueal, and Jamal. I am NOT making this up! She would also like the weather reports to be broadcast in 'language' that street people can understand because one of the problems that happened in New Orleans was, that black people couldn't understand the seriousness of the situation, due to the racially biased language of the weather report. I guess if the weather person says that the winds are going to blow at 140+ MPH, thats too hard to understand I can hear it now: A weatherman in New Orleans says... Wazzup, mutha-fukkas! Hehr-i-cane Chamiqua be headin' fo' yo ass like

Lmao....stalker Type Tendencies? *shrugs*
Your Love is Represented by a Orange Rose When you're in love, you tend to be overwhelmed and consumed by desire. You develop fascinations with people easily, and they're sometimes even borderline obsessions! You tend to come on strong. Your love is as hot as a flame. What Rose Represents Your Love?

Lmao
You Are a Total Brainiac You're amazingly brilliant. Some would even say genius. You're curious, thoughtful, analytical, and confident. You take on difficult subjects because you want to... not because you have to. No field of knowledge is too complicated or intimidating for you. You've got the brains to do anything you want. It's possible you end up doing everything you want. Are You a Brainiac?

Lmao!
When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume " The Stance." In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance." To take y our mind off your

Lmao!
A linguistics professor was lecturing his class. "In English," he explained, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language in which a double positive can form a negative." A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

Lmao
Yo motherfucker What the fuck you lookin at? Yo, get out my motherfuckin face right now Yo man, trip this I was out on the ave man This nigga lookin at me wrong So I pulled out my motherfuckin nine And I SMOKED HIS ASS Woke up, didn't choke up Saw my AK, it was broke up Put it together like a jigsaw Got my nine, and my Rambo knife off the floor Went to the bathroom, and beat the rush Yo, who the fuck used my toothbrush? Went to my sister's room, yo bitch, wake up You stupid ass, dirty ass, nasty ass slut Shot her in the leg, shot her in the thigh Kick her in the pussy and punched her in the eye Slapped her in the head, stepped on her corns Don't fuck with mine bitch, word is born Went downstairs to eat wit my folks Ma, you broke my fuckin egg yoke! Punch her in the chest, cut on her cheek Then I did a sweep, knocked the bitch off her feet Knee to the pussy, kick to the skull AK yo I shot the bitch in the temple Pops got mad cause mom got licked I didn't g

Lmao @ The Skanky Azz Downraters Out Today
HERE ARE SOME LINKS OF DOWNRATERS THAT CAME BY MY PAGE TO DOWNRATE ME TODAY... LOL THIS IS SO FUNNY!! GO SHOW THEM YOUR THOUGHTS PLEASE!! LOL miss mariah rated your photo a '3'! 16 mins ago miss mariah@ fubar ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ pretty leigh rated you a '1'! 15 mins ago pretty leigh@ fubar ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sexy Bi Babe Mandy rated your photo a '1'! 9 mins ago Sexy Bi Babe Mandy@ fubar **************************************************************** now take for granted after the first one rated me a 3 I politely went to her profile rated her a 3 (she does not have a verified salute) then left her a comment saying "thanks for the 3 here's a 3 for you downrater" Next thing I know Ive got 2 more coming and rating me a 1.. LMAO what sad sad lives they must have.. apparently they are either jealous or just havent a clue how things usually go on here.. or the way

Lmao
4. DAN 343 up, 207 down love ithate it A MASSIVE PENIS. A PENIS LARGER THAN ANYTHING EVER SEEN. EVERYWHERE, EVERYTHING, MASSIVE. Can also be used to describe anally pandering someone and can really mean anything you want it to. I'm going to DAN you so hard your DAN falls off and DAN will thoroughly DANicate on your DAN. MASSIVE. dan massive huge everywhere penis dick shlong viagra creambasin tail willy snake all-knowing d a n by DANISMASSIVE Dec 25, 2007 share this 1 comment 5. Dan 277 up, 148 down love ithate it stone cold pimp, mac daddy. Dan is thee coolest dude I know stud big playa player dunno by jesus32432 Jan 30, 2008 share this add comment 6. Dan 305 up, 217 down love ithate it The bestest friend you could ever have everrr ! dan is too amazing for examples

Lmao Dumb B*itch
OMG LAUGHING TO FUCKING HARD......I LOVE HOW JUST B/C I'M NOT DATING HIM YOU THINK YOUR SOO MUCH BETTER THEN ME CUZ UR SO CALLED DATING HIM NOW....HMMM FUNNY BiTCH PLZ KEEP TALKING UR SHIT I'M LOVING THE ATTENTION.I THINK ITS SO SWEET OF YOU TO KEEP ME ON UR MIND.SO SWEETIE PLEASE TRY TO PUT HIM ON LEASH TELL HIM TO BLOCK ME,TELL YOU NOT TO TALK TO ME.LOL GO AND THINK I'M HEART BROKEN....BITCH PLZ I HAVE NO REASON TO BE AND I HOPE I REALLY HOPE YOU DONT THINK I'M JEALOUS..B/C YOU DONT GOT SHIT ON ME!! Kelz A.KA. ONE HATED ON BITCH LOL I

Lmao!
U know more money is spent on boob jobs and viagra then alzeimers research??? By 2040 the elderly will have perky tits and stiff dicks and no fucking idea why!!! DARK HUMOUR I KNOW...BUT FUNNY AS HELL! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Lmaoooooooo Crack Is Whack..
CLINTON TOWNSHIP, Mich. – A 25-year-old Detroit-area man literally spilled his guts to police and was arrested on a drug charge after officers found crack cocaine in his vomit. Police said the man swallowed the drugs after a short car and foot chase Tuesday about 20 miles northeast of Detroit. Clinton Township police caught and were questioning the man when he threw up the crack cocaine and other contents of his stomach. The drugs were picked from the mess. The man was jailed after being arraigned Wednesday on a controlled substance charge. He has requested a court-appointed attorney. LMAO I would of hated to be one of those cops LMAO

Lmao!!!
So most people never saw this...minus people on my family list. Almost 2 months ago I came across a poem I had started writing. I didn't even remember it BUT it was my handwriting. lol The odd thing is it was basically a porn-ish poem. Nothing really hardcore but kinda funny. Until now I forgot that I needed to finish it. And so tonight that's what I did. And here it is...the finished version. lol Once upon a time there was a boy who was horny all the time, He’d do all the little girls in the front or the behind. Perverted as can be he thought of all the ways they could be fucked, Even being so horny he’d settle for a girl who’d swallow after she sucked. Porn after porn the horny boy he’d watch on his big screen, Stroking and jacking like a maniac to a threesome with anal scene. Moans and groans from the porn chicks filling his ears, Afterall he loved seeing girls taking it in their rears. The horny boy stroked and stroked as he started to cum, Wishing there

Lmao!!!!!!
Body: If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome, including toilet flush burials for dead Goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD! Overview: I had to take my son's lizard to the vet. Here's what happened: Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was 'something wrong' with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room. 'He's just lying there looking sick,' he told me. 'I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?' I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do. 'Honey,' I called, 'come look at the lizard!' 'Oh, my gosh!' my wife exclaimed. 'She's having Babies. 'What?' my son demanded. 'But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!' I was equally outraged. 'Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we

Lmao This Is So Funny, It Contains Some Nsfw Content!
love is my life says: hiii baby aMMo= Michele's FU-Wife! says: hi love is my life says: how r u aMMo= Michele's FU-Wife! says: I'm ok, you? love is my life says: so hot aMMo= Michele's FU-Wife! says: as in the weather? love is my life says: no love is my life says: in sex aMMo= Michele's FU-Wife! says: oh love is my life says: what u doing aMMo= Michele's FU-Wife! says: chatting on here love is my life says: did u make any sex today aMMo= Michele's FU-Wife! says: um no love is my life says: whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy love is my life says: do u have bf aMMo= Michele's FU-Wife! says: because I have no one to do it with! love is my life says: realy where u live aMMo= Michele's FU-Wife! says: Melbourne love is my life says: do u have cam or mic aMMo= Michele's FU-Wife! says: nope aMMo= Michele's FU-Wife! says: they broke love is my life says: oh fuck love is my life says: how old r u aMMo= Michele's FU-Wife! says: 37 aMMo= Michele's FU-Wife

Lmao...oops!
I almost had the spotlight today. I bid at about 1:30am EST just to be funny because it was so low. Then I checked back at like 2:50am and I still had the high bid. I was freaking out! I kept thinking, crap...I don't have a good spotlight picture. LOL And I hadn't made my thank you pictures. Crap, I haven't even started on my thank you pictures. I guess I should at least start that. Back to the story, I was getting frantic at 2:58 when I still had the high bid. I kept hitting refresh. Then at the last second the chick in spotlight came in and bid a couple hundred more fubucks than me for it. Thank goodness. Although, I have nothing to do all day Friday until 5:30pm. Well, other than the gym and some homework. Ok, enough rambling. I'm going to bed now. :)

Lmao - An "about Me" I Just Had To Post
I saw this on a guys Myspace "About Me"... Which he got from George Carlin.... "I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke-free. A diversified multicultural, postmodern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been uplinked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a hightech lowlife. A cutting edge, state of the art, bicoastal multitasker, and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! "I’m new wave, but I’m old school, and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hotwired, heatseeking, warmhearted cool customer, voice-activated and biodegradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive. "Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, ridin' the wave, dodgin' the bullet and pushin' the envelope. I’m on point, on task, on message and off drugs. I’ve got

Lmao, I Knew I Wasn't Girly
below 40 = not girly above 40 = girly above 55 = paris hilton []My fingernails/toenails are almost always painted. [x] During the summer pretty much the only shoes I wear are flip flops. [x] My favorite toy as a child were barbies/bratz. [ ] My favorite color is pink or purple. [ ] I did Gymnastics. [] I love skirts. [] Hollister is one my favorite places to shop. [] Tight jeans are the only jeans I'll wear. [] I love chocolate. TOTAL SO FAR: 2 [x] My hair is mostly always straightened [] I usually go shopping once a week. [X] I love to hang out with friends. [x] I have a real diamond ring or diamond necklace. [] I've gone to a tanning salon. [] I've gone to the beach to tan - not to swim. [x] I have at least 10 pairs of shoes. [] I watch Gossip Girl [] I change my profile picture weekly. [] I wear a shower cap

Lmao
Chicks make me laugh. They fall for these douchebag guys and are so "in love" when last week your man was in my shoutbox telling me how interested he was in me. rofl. I am one catty bitch today. I really should up my prozac.

Lmao
The Poopie List Ghost Poopie The kind where you feel the Poopie come out, but there's no poopie in the toilet. Clean Poopie The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper. Wet Poopie The kind where you wipe your butt fifty times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't runie them with a stain. Second Wave Poopie The kind that happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize you have to poopie some more. Turtle Poopie The kind of poopie that pops out a little and goes back in a few times before it finallly comes out Pop-a-Vein-in-your-Forehead-Poopie The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke. Lincoln Log Poopie The kind of Poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the plunger. Gas-sy Poopie

Lmao
lmao ->nestore7500: peoplenestore7500: they? they who->nestore7500: no I dont; they dont have computers in my villagenestore7500: oh God, you're a piece of heaven!!!! I'm Ivano from Italy, I work for italian television....do you have skype, msn or yahoo messenger? It's better for talk....Ivano

Lmao
1. saying "hey micro dick get off....." isn't nice... neither is "are you in yet?"2. dont ask the pussy how "it" feels3. if the vagina has teeth stay away...4. When in the middle of sex, making whale calls is not suggested.5. Medication is available for sudden erection loss...6. Ladies, if the mans penis is about to enter the vagina and goes limp... be sure to varify what "team" he is playing for.7. When having sex, be sure to know the girls name...8. When thinking of how many people you slept with, those who lasted less than 5 minutes don't count...9. When a guy says he is "as big as a horse," you will be dissapointed...10. Men who talk about them having a very large penis, naturally have a very small one.11. casual conversation about the wheather is a sexual turn off...12. Herpes: The gift so nice, you should give it twice.13. eating during sex isn't a good impression...14. sex at "super-sonic" speeds is not a fun experiment...15. farting during sex will kill the mood 9 times out of

Lmao, Someone Is Angry
Letter from Dana: Shut the fuck up you hideous, disgusting cunt. I hope and pray with all my might that you fall down on a sharp metal object, taking it in the eye and piercing that rotten, fetid fatty tissue you consider a brain, and as you bleed out in death throes... your last fading memory is my face grinning and laughing.

Lmao And Shes Still A Hussy She Says
now i lay me down to sleep i pray the lord my shape to keep please no wrinkles please no bags and please lift my butt before it sags please no age spots please no gray and as for my belly please take it away please keep me healthy please keep me young and thank you lord for all you have done five tips for women 1. its important that a man helps you around the house and has a JOB. 2. its important that a man makes you laugh 3. its important to find a man you can count on and who wont lie to you 4. its important that a man loves you and spoils you 5. its important that these 4 men dont meet each other loll one saggy boob said to the other saggy boob; "if we dont get some support soon - people will think we are nuts" omg she is too cute at 80 years old i swear

Lmao
my mumm got reported......... I love it when people are losing an argument and have to resort to repoting a mumm as nsfw just to feel better, what losers lol. FYI the mumm was this: now the micheal jackson has died are the kids safer? or are they in just as much danger due to the stupiditiy of their parents?

Lmao
Nursing Home SafetyEthel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic the other residents tolerated her and some of them actually joined in.One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. "STOP!," he shouted in a firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?" Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. "OK" he said and away Ethel sped down the hall.As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Harold popped out in front of her and shouted "STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?" Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said "On your way, Ma'am.

Lmao
A certain male wannabe mummer came and checked me out this weekend. He rated me a 10 and that is all. What makes this funny is that I am still blocked and it was a shock to see him online after all this time off. The doctor is back and it will only be a matter of time before he does one of two things... 1. Post a mumm 2. Go check out Bounty to bask in BH's naked glory...this ought to be fun

Lmao
Just humming along… I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was staring at me.Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

Lmao
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What’s are these, Dad?"To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex.""Oh I see," replied the boys pensively. "Yes, I’ve heard of that in health class at school."He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"The dad replies, "Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.""Cool!" says the boy. He notices a 6-pack and asks, "Then who are these for?""Those are for college men," The dad answers, "TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday.""WOW!" exclaimed the boy. "Then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a12-pack.With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March..."

Lmao Look What Haters Do
DEVILS GODDESS: who said thatDEVILS GODDESS: i had a falling out?DEVILS GODDESS: so why did u delete mecensored: i was told something along those lines, that something happened between yall and that you werent friends anymorecensored: i did it to prove a point to them, but i kept you on here because i didnt want to lose touch with youDEVILS GODDESS: prove a point?rcensored: i am actually searching on FU for you right nowDEVILS GODDESS: wat pointcensored: i wanted to work for SER and they thought i wasnt trust worthy since i had you in my top family and suchDEVILS GODDESS: oh gee thanksrcensored: they thought that i was a spy for you and i wanted to help you bring down SERDEVILS GODDESS: DEVILS GODDESS: who said that this was a convo between me and a long time friend who wanted to volunteer his time at snake eyes radio but since I was his top friend he wasnt allowed cuz I was a top friend of his.so he had to delete me from his friends list.. You guys are PATHETIC.... GET A LIFE!

Lmao
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 25 years. He breaks into a house looking for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair. while tieing the woman to the bed, he kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While hes in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably hasnt seen a woman in years, and i saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex dont resist,, dont complain, do what ever he tells you to cuz if he gets angry, hell probably kill us both! Be strong honey, I love you and always will!" the wife says to her husband "He wasnt kissing my neck, he said he was gay and thought you were cute. He asked if we had any vaseline and i told him it was in the bathroom! Be strong honey and I LOVE YOU TOO!"

Lmao
A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. HeMarched straight up to the counter and said, " Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have aJob." The social worker behind the counter said, " Your timing is excellent.We just got a job opening from a veryWealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautifulDaughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, and he'll supply All of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expectedTo escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips and you will haveTo satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment Above the garage. The salary is $200,000 a year." The guy, wide-eyed, said, " You're bullshittin' me!" The social worker said, " Yeah, well . . You started it."

Lmao
he sooo doesn't remember snuggling up to me at the bar... he was at work so i didn't go into detail.. i told him that i was MORE than happy being just friends... and i will... thats all i really need out of ANYONE right now.. yes i am crushin (told him that too... i grew some balls tonight) but i really just need the friendship :D i told him we could talk tomorrow and i would tell him all he did or whatever... I don't know if he is interested.. but i did make it clear i really want friendship even if he WASN'T interested.. :D

Lmao
Ok so the following happened in Baby J's blog. I'm amused. Is this the type of person he really thinks I am? Sedu FuEngaged ...17 mins -- 85 of 86 Sedu FuEngaged to Sexxie Bitch said: So basically what this means is that those of us who aren't point whores and actually appreciate and value what little bling we have will no longer be able to appreciate them because this crap is going to be over the top of them? That's ridiculous. Is there going to be any option for us to not have that appear on our bling at all? I don't want people spending money or wasting time on me, but at the same time, I don't really want my page to look like crap as a result of it. babyjesus said: i guess if you view the cup as half empty, have your head up your ass and like to talk to your 'friends' about the depressing life you live and how you wish it would all end in a bloody massacre, yes-- that is exactly what it means. jesus christ, do the rest of us a favor and lig

Lmao
If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hopefor you. I was literally crying by the end. For those of you who have lived / traveled in Texas, you know how true this is. I no longer let any Texan pick a restaurant.20 These folks do not like the flavor of anything, they just like the burn.Sometimes truth really is stranger than fiction….and a lot more amusing. *********************************** ********************************They actually have this Chili Cook-off at Halloween time. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park. Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who wasvisiting from Springfield, IL. Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chilicook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and Ihappened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking fordirections to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I wasassured by the other two judges (Native Te

Lmao
A trucker who had been out on the road for three straight weeks stopped at a brothel outside Vegas. He walked straight up to the Madam, plopped down $500.00 and said, "I want your ugliest woman and a bologna sandwich" The Madam was astonished. She said, "OK, sir, but do you know that for that kind of money you could have two of my finest ladies, plus a three-course meal??" The trucker replied, "Listen, sweetie. I ain't horny....I'm homesick!"

Lmao
My roommate and her bf are having really loud sex right now. Should I A) Turn on cheesey porn music really loud while knocking on the door and telling them I need to do an amateur porn movie as a project for my human sexuality class or B) Find some nasty song about buttsecks and play it at full blast?

Lmao!!!
This morning! Him: I could never live with you! Me: Ok! Him: what do you mean ok? Me: oh, is that where i'm supposed to say ... why? Him: Well yeah, it is. Me: Ok, why? Him: Well, i'd just never be able to relax when I got home knowing you were here .... /dies WEED, goodtimes, just don't give a fuck times.....

Lmao
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every oncein a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills fallingout of that bag." "Oh really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go backand see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer." Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?" "Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next tothe Golf course.On Golf days, a lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in thefence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Killsthe flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it? So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, Isurprise him, grab hold of it and say

Lmao - Gooooooo Marines!
Augusta, GAOrville Smith, a store manager for Best Buy in Augusta , Georgia , told police he observed a male customer, later identified as Tyrone Jackson of Augusta , on surveillance cameras putting a laptop computer under his jacket... When confronted the man became irate, knocked down an employee, drew a knife and ran for the door.Outside on the sidewalk were four Marines collecting toys for the "Toys for Tots" program. Smith said the Marines stopped the man, but he stabbed one of the Marines, Cpl. Phillip Duggan, in the back, the injury did not appear to be severe.After Police and an ambulance arrived at the scene Cpl. Duggan was transported for treatment. The subject was also transported to the local hospital with two broken arms, a broken ankle, a broken leg, several missing teeth, possible broken ribs, multiple contusions, assorted lacerations, a broken nose and a broken jaw...injuries he sustained when he slipped and fell off of the curb

Lmao
BREAKING NEWS. OAKLAND,CA-Raiders football practice was delayed nearly 2 hours after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach, Jackson, immediately suspended practice & called the police & federal investigators. After a complete analysis, FBI experts determined that the white substance unknown to players was the GOAL LINE. Practice resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again this season.

Lmao
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup." "No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?" ARE YOU GOING TO PASS THIS ON, OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE?

Lmao
When I see a hot guy, a few thoughts go through my mind: Heeellooo, handsome. HOOOOOTTTTIEEEEEEE. Whaddup, sexy? I'D TAP THAT .. with protection, of course. I WANT TO HAVE YOUR CHILDREN. YOU'RE TOO SEXY FOR YOUR SHIRT. Marry me? I'm already planning the honeymoon, babe. KISS ME IN THE RAIN. I could cook LETTUCE on your abs, you SEXY BEAST. WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE? Finders, keepers; SCREW YOUR GIRLFRIEND. I love you. I WILL GRAB YOU, AND SAY HEY. YOU SEXY BEAST. DID YOU STEP OUT OF MY HOLLISTER SHOPPING BAG? AHHHH, please be a british guitar player. OR AT LEAST SING ME TO. YOOOOUUUUUUU AREEE SOOOOOO HOT. ... why are you staring at me like that? DON'T LOOK AWAY. WE'RE GONNA GET MARRIED. STOP KISSING THAT GIRL. YOU BELONG WITH ME, EVEN TAYLOR SWIFT THINKS SO. COME BACK HERE. ..you're gone. I. will. hunt. you.down. Mr. Sexy man.

Lmao Dumb Walmart People.
I was at Wal-Mart buying a bag of Purina dog chow for my dog , in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog chow, RIGHT ??? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again, and that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in inten......sive care, with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car

Lmao
this is probably one of those "you had to be there thangs" but omfg im in tears. ash posted the wrong comment inna football mumm... EvilA said: Most people will never get their happily ever after because they are too focused on Hollywood's version of what that is.To get to your happily ever after in the world of normal people, you have a certain level of dedication and commitment. MASokYst said: so... you're picking pittsburgh? EvilA: I am doing bio work. We have fake patients with fake symtoms pop up. While I was in the MuMM, I lost my patient to cardiac arrest because I failed to take the proper measures in accessing him. 10:28am more To EvilA: LMFAO 10:29am reply EvilA: Now you go tell his fucking family! 10:29am To EvilA: /ded

Lmao
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (O.M.G.!!!) A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy. I'm still not over the pig.) The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home . What the...?) The flea can jump 350 times its body length.It's like a human jumpingthe length of a football field. (30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?) The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?) Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still can't believe that pig ...quality over quantity.) Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.) Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (Okay, so that would be a good thing.) A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.) An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.) Starf

Lmao Gals Go Jump On His Offer Lol Not!!
from: ynnoj http://youtu.be/jgSOb9M4S98 Beverly Hills, CA subject: RE: hi received: 12/21/2012 09:33 am replied: no block this member lol...i get girls showing me anything i ask wenever i ask...i pay 1000 credits and 5000 dollars u.s. ive NEVER had to pay ANYTHING before playing...so its cool, i dont NEED u, just wanted to spoil u, but not at least without a peek at them titties bare...bye hun=

Lmao
Fubar's song( to red dirt road by brooks and dunn) It's where I wrote my first books, Saw pictures of men's penis. Women with their wild pictures, That site don't owe nothing to Jesus. I know theres more before me, Down that damn sites road. I left it for awhile, But went back again. And even more than before, Staring at naked women again. It's where I got a first tear, And those damn men's penis. Those womens pics so hot, Better hide them all from Jesus. I know theres more before me, Down that damn sites road. Now I'm dragging in moco, Into fubar's wake. I hope all my friends, Our friendship they don't forsake. At the bar you can buy a beer, The owner calls himself baby Jesus. Just hit my link and fire up, With coughs chokes and weezes. I know theres more before me, Down fubar's road.

Lmao
Out of the cool quickly, Into the warmth of the room. The warm glow of heat, Added to the mornings perfume. Things began to sizzle slowly, As I softly licked my lips. I dreamt deeply in my mind, Of those beautiful wonderful hips. Hotter the room became, More aroma filled the air. As for everything else in the world, For nothing else I did care. Now laying before me, Hotter than sands from the sudan. With my tongue and soft nibbles I began to eat you, My sizzling,sweet crispy bacon.

Làm Chìa Khóa Vespa
Công ty TNHH Phúc Nguyên nhận làm chìa vespa, chìa piaggio tại nhà ở Hà Nội và bất cứ nơi đâu trên tổ quốc . Đội ngũ thợ nhiệt tình chuyên đến tận nhà sửa chữa và làm lại chìa khóa xe máy Vespa LX, ET, Zip…Phúc Nguyên nhận làm lại chìa Vespa khi bạn mất cả 2 chìa xanh và nâu, làm lại chìa xanh, làm chìa nâu Vespa. Trường hợp xấu hơn là mất cả hai chìa, Phúc Nguyên Piaggio sẽ cấp lại cho bạn bộ ổ khóa bao gồm cả 2 chìa khóa mới. Bạn không cần phải mang tới các trung tâm với giá cả đắt đỏ, mà chỉ cần nhờ thợ sửa xe tháo bộ MIU (hay IC liền chế) gửi tới Phúc Nguyên. Chúng tôi sẽ xóa trắng MIU và cấ

Lmfao
Geriatric Halloween There was an old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long time, so they decided to dress up and go out. The old woman went in her bedroom, stripped naked, and tied a string between her legs with a lemon at the end of the string. When she walked out of the room her husband yelled, "You can't go out like that!" "I can go out as whatever I want and so can you!" The man agreed and went into his room. Soon he came out naked with a string tied to his penis and a potato at the end of the string. The woman said, "You're going out as that?" ''Yes,'' said the old man. ''If you can go out as a sourpuss, I can go out as a dicktator."

Lmfao
What You Really Think Of Your Friends James is your soulmate. You truly love Kristin. You consider AxL your true friend. You know that Sabby is always thinking of you. You'll remember Billy for the rest of your life. You secretly think Tomaran is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times. You secretly think that Harley is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker. You secretly think that Timothy is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Timothy changes lovers faster than underwear. You secretly think The Caj is shy and nonconfrontational. And that The Caj has a hidden internet romance. What Do You Think of Your Friends?

Lmfao Some Of These Are Really Good.
Q. What do you call it when someone farts in a gay bar? A. A love call. Q. How do you give a blind queer a thrill? A. Leave the plunger in the toilet. Q. How do lesbians handle their liquor? A. By the ears. (Lick her) Q. What do tight pants and a cheap motel have in common? A. No ball room Q. What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? A. Doughnuts. Q. What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together? A. 100 people who don't do dick. Q. What's the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before he leaves the factory? A. Two test tickles Q. Why did God create alcohol? A. So ugly people would have a chance to have sex. Q. What's the speed limit of sex? A. 68 because at 69 you have to turn around. Q. What's the ultimate rejection? A. When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

Lmfao
Job Application This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny! NAME: Greg Bulmash. SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person. DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. SALARY: Less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intim

Lmfaoooooooooo !!
You be 95% random UBER-RANDOMNESS ACHIEVED! w00t! also...ARIBA RIBA RIBA! You just won an imaginary horse! You're either among the random-est peeps around, or really good at fooling tests ;) [It (the result message) has gotta be 100 characters, though, so time for random symbols: @$$^@#^@Â²Ã«DÃ?7Ã?Ã¹ZÂºOÃ¿%vâ??*()&%$^$#^?|{}:" that oughta do it...] Shiny's Randomness Quiz

Lmfao
So i went onto another site im on n i hate the site i never go on it.. u have to earn like bang bucks n tha site is so confusin so i started sending links to my friends on that site to join here so far i think mayb 5 hav joind thru it which is awsome im hopin more doo. this site is so addictin n yea well u guys no .... n-e i sent the link to someone who helps run it cuz u no i havent been on the site so i really could care less n i forgot but she sends me a comment bak sayin shes goin to have me suspended on the site for sendin her this "crappy site" well i didnt wannna start shit cause well i really dont need it but i thought to myself that sight is alot better than this fuckin site n idk if u suspend me i never go on the site anyways lol idk i thought it was madd funny n thought id share n-e who hope u all had a good turkey day! n didnt get to stuffd or drunk! well leave me some comments i'll do my best to return the favor much love!

Lmfao @ This Family Post... These Morons Think They're The Mafia...lmao!
THERES ONLY 10 PEOPLE THAT CAN ASK ME FOR FAVORS ALL OF U HAVE NO PROBLUM ASKING I RARELEY ASK IN RETURN UNTILL NOW SO THERES A PIECE OF PAPER ON MY DESK WITH THE NAMES OF EVERYONE THAT HELPED US WITH THIS THOSE PEOPLE CAN ALWAYS ASK ME NOT MANY OTHERS NOW ITS 9 AM EST HERE NOW YOU GOT TILL 12 NOON EST TO HELP AND HELP BIG ANCIENT IS ONE OF THE TRUE REAL PEOPLE ON THIS SITE ID LIKE TO SEE THIS PIC COMMENT BOMBED TO HELL IF ANYONE DESERVES TO WIN HE DOES! JUST CLICK THE PIC AND COMMENT THE HELL OUT OF THIS GUY HERE COME ON FOLKS ITS EASY MAKE SOME POINTS AND CHERRY BUCKS EACH TIME U COMENT YOU MOVE CLOSER TO LEVELING SO TAKE AN HOUR AND LEAVE 100 OR SO CHECK YOUR POINTS YOULL SEE THEM GETIN BIGGER AND KEEP GOIN IF U WANNA LEVEL! Stang seldom does personal salutes but somehow she's been talked into doing a personal salute for everyone who leaves 500 comments!! When you do, you let her know and she will verify it...oh yeah, we're watchin...LOL. She will have all personal salutes fin

Lmfao
*Broken Angel...: can I ask you why you came to my page...I dont mean it badly or with attitude but but wondered............. HERE YA GO HONEY I JUST WANTED TO CHECK YOUR FINE ASS OUT BUT EVERYONE KNOWS I LIKE WOMEN.....BUT SINCE YOU DONT PLAY NICE AND BLOXCKED ME I FIGURED ID ANSWER U HERE ,....MUCH LOVE!!!!! OKAY INCASE SUM OF YOU THINK HMMMMMMM ABOUT THIS THERE IS AND WILL BE A REASON FOR THIS SOON TO CUM I DONT JUST LIKE TO LOOK AT WOMEN EITHER WE ALL NO I LIKE MEN ALOOOOOOOOOT AND THERE WAY BETTER EQUIPED TO SUIT MY NEEDS!! QUICK QUESTION HOW MANY OF U PLAY GAME ON HERE ISNT IT WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT.......ITS THE INTERNET AND IVE MADE SUM DAMN GOOD FRIENDS ON HERE AND HOPE TO MAKE PLENTY MORE LIKE BLOOD SUGAR BABY SHES MY MASTER ILL DO WHAT SHE SAYS HAHA!!! AND DEEDEE I LOVE HER SO LISTEN LETS FACE IT FUCK I LOVE EVERYONE AND PROBLY GET IN TO A LIL TROUBLE OVER IT HERE AND THERE!! BUT STAY TUNED BET THIS WONT BE THE LAST OF THIS!! XOXOXO

Lmfao
Hahaha I'm talkin to one of my CT friends on here..I find this convo hilarious!..She said she couldnt post the bulletin..So this is where it started...read from bottom up! ->*Tiff* -Ni...: it was seriously moving???? LOL *Tiff* -Ni...: serioulsy lol.... it wouldnt let me hahaha... i fought it hard and i won LMAO ->*Tiff* -Ni...: lmfao thats funny *Tiff* -Ni...: lmao it wasnt lettin me at all... it kept movin hahahaha.... i swear im sober ->*Tiff* -Ni...: you cant click "repost bulletin"?? lol

Lmfao The Future ( A Place In The Future)
The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech, and walked out into the lobby where he met President Bush. They shook hands, and as they walked the Iranian said, "You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America ." President Bush said, "Well, anything I can do to help you, I will." The Iranian whispered "My son watches this show 'Star Trek' and in it there is Chekhov who is Russian, Scotty who is Scottish, Uhura who is Black and Sulu who is Chinese, but no Arabs. My son is very upset and doesn't understand why there aren't any Iranians, Syrians, or Iraqis, on Star Trek." President Bush laughed, leaned toward the Iranian ambassador, and whispered back, "It's because it takes place in the future." HAHAHAHAhahahaAHAHaha! :P

Lmfao
HAHAHAHAHAH ISNT MY SISTER SUCH A LADY?? ..[Nicole].. ι мιςς γоū ςоооооо мūсн вaвy ιсн Ľιεвε đιсн says: I have to terd LOL x0x..(((.l|l.I.Lub Him..l|l.)))..x0x.. ..x0x....{{..Deep.Inside.The.Corner.Of.My.Mind.Im.Attached.To.You..}} says: lmfao ..[Nicole].. ι мιςς γоū ςоооооо мūсн вaвy ιсн Ľιεвε đιсн says: haha these pills make me constaly poop x0x..(((.l|l.I.Lub Him..l|l.)))..x0x.. ..x0x....{{..Deep.Inside.The.Corner.Of.My.Mind.Im.Attached.To.You..}} says: lmfao i should post this in a blog mwhaha ..[Nicole].. ι мιςς γоū ςоооо&#

Lmfao - Colt 45
wait a minuite man check this out. There was this blind man right. there was this blind man right. he was feelin his way down the street . with his stick right. hey he walked past this fish market . you know what im saying . he stoped he took a deep breath. he said Whoa! Good morning ladies. You like that shit man? I got a gang of that shit man. I'll tell you what My man on the guitar Dude on the drums Everyody gather 'round the mic I'll tell ya all these muthaf**kas First I'mma start it off like this Help me sing it homeboy! C'mon! **Sings** Colt 45 and two zig-zags Baby that's all we need We go to far at the dogs. Smoke that pound of weed As the marijuana burn we can take our turn singin' them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong and sell tapes from here to hong kong i said roll, roll, roll my joint pick out the seeds and stems, feelin' high as hell flyin' through palm dale skatin' on dayton wheels so roll, roll, the '83 c

1975/2006 Lmfao (from A Bullitin)
1975 : Long hair 2006 : Longing for hair 1975: KEG 2006: EKG 1975 : Acid rock 2006: Acid reflux 1975 : Moving to California because it's cool 2006 : Moving to Arizona because it's warm 1975 : Tryin to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor 2006: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor 1975 : Seeds and stems 2006: Roughage 1975 : Hoping for a BMW 2006: Hoping for a BM 1975 : Going to a new, hip joint 2006: Receiving a new hip joint 1975< FONT face=Verdana color=maroon size=6> : Rolling Stones 2006: Kidney Stones 1975 : Being called into the principal's office 2006 : Calling the principal's office 1975 : Screw the system 2006: Upgrade the system 1975 : Disco 2006: Costco 1975 : Parents begging you to get your hair cut 2006: Children begging you to get their heads shaved 1975 : Passing the drivers' test 2006: Passing the vision test 1975 : Whatever 2006 : Depends Just in case you weren't fee

Lmfao..sisterly Conversation
..[Nicole].. it's sooooo colddd don't wanna work tonight says: yeah well..i'm getting surgery on my face x0x..(((.l|l.I.Lub Him..l|l.)))..x0x.. ..x0x....{{..He.Makes.My.Heart.All.Scribbley..}} says: =/ ..[Nicole].. it's sooooo colddd don't wanna work tonight says: so I think ur life is goin a lil better than mine lol x0x..(((.l|l.I.Lub Him..l|l.)))..x0x.. ..x0x....{{..He.Makes.My.Heart.All.Scribbley..}} says: nope x0x..(((.l|l.I.Lub Him..l|l.)))..x0x.. ..x0x....{{..He.Makes.My.Heart.All.Scribbley..}} says: i have rob x0x..(((.l|l.I.Lub Him..l|l.)))..x0x.. ..x0x....{{..He.Makes.My.Heart.All.Scribbley..}} says: id rather be cracked in the face with a mallet ..[Nicole].. it's sooooo colddd don't wanna work tonight says: LMFAO.

Lmfao
Got a problem with me? Solve it.... Think iI'm trippin? Tie my shoes.... Can't stand me? Sit the fuck down.... Can't face me? Turn the fuck around.... If you don't understand this... Don't FUCKIN read it then BITCHES!!!!!!

Lmfao... Read And Just Smile Hell Its Humpday!
The mental ward nurse entered a room and found a patient sitting in a chair pretending to drive a car. The nurse asked, "What are you doing, Charlie?" Charlie replied, "Driving to Chicago!" She wished him a good trip and left. The next day, she entered Charlie's room just as he stopped driving his imaginary car and asked, "How are you doing today, Charlie?" Charlie answered, "I just got to Chicago!" "Great," she replied. The nurse left Charlie's room and went across the hall into Bob's room, and found Bob sitting on his bed, masturbating furiously. Shocked, she cried, "Bob, what are you doing?" Bob said, "While Charlie's in Chicago, I'm doing his wife!"

Lmfao
DisorderRatingParanoid Disorder:LowSchizoid Disorder:LowSchizotypal Disorder:HighAntisocial Disorder:LowBorderline Disorder:LowHistrionic Disorder:LowNarcissistic Disorder:LowAvoidant Disorder:HighDependent Disorder:ModerateObsessive-Compulsive Disorder:Low-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! ---- Personality Disorders --

Lmfao
I got this from a bulletin from a good friend of mine, it's great! Enjoy...... Redneck Man's pick up lines 1) Did you fart? cuz you blew me away. 2) Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special. 3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea . I can't hold it in. 4) Do you have a library card? cuz I'd like to sign you out. 5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? cuz I can see myself in em. 6) If you was a tree I were a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole. 7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away. 8) Man - "Fat Penguin!" Woman - "WHAT?" Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice." 9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock. 10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went inta this cheap motel room. 11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner. 12) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten u

Lmfao Convo With Me And Dev
DeViN: god i love beer ((..Ashley..)): me too ((..Ashley..)): i wish i had some ((..Ashley..)): some nights i like whiskey some nights i dont DeViN: i dont know how you drink that shit all the time DeViN: my guts would be ripped out my asshole ((..Ashley..)): yeah that would probably hurt a little bit LLLOOOOLLLL

Lmfao Wtf?? Poor Lil Guys
It sounds like the plot to a bad B-movie. Meat-eating killer frogs have invaded a pond in San Francisco's Golden Gate Park, leaving environmentalists wondering how to stop their deadly march before they move on to bigger waters. The African clawed frogs have chomped through everything from turtles to fish in Lily Pond, near the California Academy of Sciences, the San Francisco Chronicle reported. • Click here to read the San Francisco Chronicle story. The frogs, which can grow up to 5 inches in length, have even gone cannibalistic. "They've eaten everything they can get their mouths around, and now they're eating each other," Eric Mills of the animal-rights group Action for Animals told the newspaper. Park officials have pulled some 2,500 of the frogs from the pond since 2003. They are taken to a fish and game facility where they are euthanized by a nerve poison, the paper said. But the frogs keep coming back. Last week, the city's Animal Control and Welfare Commis

Lmfao
Now, I have gotten a couple of dirty messages on here but this guy's message takes the cake! Luckily I have a sense of humor and I'm too amused to be insulted, lol. ================================== from: the devil dick date: 2007-04-08 06:46:29 subject: hELL oooo read receipt: Yes replied: No block user wow!!!!! let me know when you will be ready to talk about our futur honey!!!i will give you the riden you need!!! right in the ass!!!am so ready to make you cum like know never had you will beg me for more and more sex so bendover for your master...dont be mad at me am the DEVIL and am here to do my job... i will keep a eye on you from hell xxx

Lmfao...i Made Myself Pee!!!
So I am going through, checking some videos and putting them in my stash. I came across Enuffz Enuff video to Fly High Michelle and I about pissed my pants! This is one gay video. I think the band members were actually trying to look hotter then the blonde in this. If you still didnt think they were gay even after seeing hearts in the one guys pupils, the 3,857 rainbows that flew through the screen should have tipped you off! Cool song though, where is my spandex!

Lmfao!!!!
Too Funny.......... A man, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to his wife, "I feel horrible, I look fat, ugly and out of shape. Pay me a compliment." The wife replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

Lmfao
teddy sent me this i had to share it will you all its so funny FEMALE "COMEBACKS" Attention female readers! Are you sick and tired of those stupid old pick-up lines that men continue to use? Here are some great comebacks! ----------------- Man: "Haven't we met before?" Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic." Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore." Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down." Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?" Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?" Man: "Your place or mine?" Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine." Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" Woman: "It's in the phone book." Man: "But I don't know your name." Woman: "That's in the phone book too." Man: "So what do you do for a living?" Woman: "I'm a female impersonator." Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Wom

Lmfao!!! Smart Ass Remarks
And your cry baby whiny assed opinion would be.....? Do I look like a fucking people person? This isn't an office, it's hell with fluorescent lighting. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. Sarcasm is just one of the services we offer. If I throw a stick will you leave?? YOU!.... Off my planet! If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet I'll put shoes on my cats. Does your train of thought have a caboose? The bible was written by the same people who said the earth was flat. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe? Errors have been made, others will be blamed. Ohhh, let me turn on the part of my brain that gives a damn. A hard on doesn't count as personal growth. Whatever look you were going for, you missed. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up . See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil. Are these your eyeballs, I found them in my cleavage. I'm