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Haha Thats Me..
I feel bad but then again...hahaa! I ACCIDENTLY kicked a kid in the face today while showing him a bboy move in class. His mom was watching the whole time...
Ha Ha Too Funny
A Catholic, a Baptist, and a Mormon are bragging about the size of their families. "I have four boys and my wife is expecting another. One more son and I''''ll have a basketball team!" said the Catholic. "That''''s nothing!'''''''' said the Baptist. ''''''''I have ten boys now, and my wife is pregnant with another child. One more son and I''''ll have a football team!" "You both should be ashamed of yourselves!'''''''' said the Mormon. ''''''''I have seventeen wives. One more and I''''ll have a golf course!"
Hahaha I Hit The Lucky Number And Got A Special Result No One Else Will Get, Lmao, And Its Dead On True Too!!!
Using your mouth Your sexual hidden talent is your ability to use your mouth. You are incredibly sensual, a great kisser and a seductive lover. You drive all of your partners crazy with your mouth. ONE OF A KIND SPECIAL AWARD, THIS PERSON ANSWERED PERFECTLY: HE/SHE WILL HAVE YOU BEGGING FOR MORE AND SHAKING UNCONTROLLABLY. YOU'LL FEEL ALL YOUR WARMTH EXIT AS YOU QUIVER! YOU'LL END UP IN THE FETAL POSITION WONDERING HOW YOU GOT SO WHOOPPED!! Take this quiz at
Hahaha I Win On This One
eric's sexual nickname: "tongue tastic" Take this quiz at LMAO, THESE WERE MADE FOR ME I GUESS
Myspace Graphics
> > > 1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. > > 2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.. > > 3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. > > 4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? > > 5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. > > 6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. > > 7. What if there were no hypothetical questions? > > 8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? > > 9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? > > 10. Is there another word for synonym? > > 11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?" > > 12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an e
Hahaha No Wonder I Moved. Lol
Wacky and wild laws of my home state... lol Idaho Boise: Residents may not fish from a giraffe's back. Coeur d' Alene: If a police officer approaches a vehicle and suspects that the occupants are engaging in sex, he must either honk, or flash his lights and wait for three minutes before approaching the car. Idaho Falls, Idaho: If you're 88 years of age or older, it's illegal for you to ride your motorcycle. Idaho state law makes it illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds. If a police officer approaches a vehicle and suspects that the occupants are engaging in sex, he must either honk, or flash his lights and wait for three minutes before approaching the car. Idaho and other states allow members of the Native American church to use the hallucinogenic plant peyote in religious services. Illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds. In Idaho walking along the street with a
Haha Yes Just A Lil Random
I love billy talent lol hehe
Greatest idea ever... nothing worse than random guy #385793 forgetting your name in the middle of stuffin your ass... hoe.
Ha Ha
You scored as Very Kinky. You are very Kinky. Yuo are not over the top but you like kinky arousements and you are willing to try something new every time. You will make a very fun sex partnerVery Kinky80%A Sicko50%Average40%A WUSS !!20%How sexual are youcreated with
So like i got a new bed. And its big. Well not HUGE. But big. And im laying in the middle. And im affraid its going to eat me. Cause like theres room on both sides and im just use to kailey sleeping with me or something on the bed, or the couch or little beds haha. So like im affraid ima fall off. Or its gonna eat me. And no im not high. Im just silly tis all. I think ima go to bed here in a minuete and get a good amount of sleep so im not crabby tommorrow like i was today cause that would be bad. I was a bitch today man. Except for to some people i was all uber nice to. Thats cause they're special. < 333 Dude. Haha. My brothers just informed me we're having a party at the house on saturday night. I was like okay then. Lol. =] Halloween party. w00t. Lalala. Im singing in Circles. Yes I am. =] Nananananaanan < 333 Kimmiecup < 3 Wow i havent called you that in awhile. Haha then today a girl messages me right. Shes like you look familar, i was like do i?
Ha Ha
You scored as Night horny. You tend to get hot when the others are getting tired. You want to have some in the dark time, possibly in the candlelight or in the dark with moon as your only light. Night time can be very romantic with moon, stars and candlelights, but be aware your companion might get tired before it's late enough.Night horny100%Day horny78%Morning horny50%How HORNY are you after all?created with
So my brother convinced me to get a costume. So im an angel with a black halo and fairie wings. Haha. My niece did my make up. Its cute. -dances- I wont be on much today.
Hahah Battle Of The Sexes.. Blog
HAHAHA ok...this was too adorable.. so i am posting it.. names have been removed to protect the innocent..lmao ---------------------------------------------- ANGEL-- IF U SAW ME IN YOUR BED!!!!! If you woke up one morning and saw me in your bed what would u do? 1) go back to sleep 2) slap me 3) cuss me out 4) just tell me to leave 5) climb on top of me and cuddle 6) fuck me .... details please! 7) give me head 8) make me breakfast 9) ask me my name (LOL) 10) call the cops ------------------------------------- GUY-- It was a long hard night for u and me. I already slap your ass. The cops gave me the hand cuffs. This morning are we using last nights name or are own? I already call take out. I wake up on top of you. There is no fucking way I'm telling you to go because that was not in todays plane of things to do. An sleep was the last thing you said we were going to do. So should we do what we did last not or change it up some more? Can you remember last night
There's this guy in a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outraged, fires me. When I leave the building to go to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police, they say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave the cab, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison..."
Im in a better mood today. Not a great one. But a better one. Ive still got a lot on my mind. And i cant clear it. Didnt sleep much last night. =/ bah. I unno.
A goat A Goat represents your sexual appetite. You have an average interest in sex. You like it, but not all the time. You are preoccupied thinking about other things but when the time comes you are a dynamo in the sack. Take this quiz at
Haha Cool
Kym's sexual nickname: "Cherry Pie" Take this quiz at
I know i just posted a blog. But i have more to say now lol. I cant find my black mini skirt! Ahh. I just had it last night damn it. I need it to wear today. Cause i REALLY need to do laundry. And well its halloween. I can get away with wearing this and not get called a slut yay me! haha. Ashleigh just told me i shouldnt trust someone argh. Now i gotta think about that. Damn it! My tummy feels like its going to explodeee! Cause i havent eaten yet. Im doing my best NOT to smoke so much today. And i refuse to buy another pack of cigarettes. Cause i shouldnt be smoking. So yeah i should be rather crabby lmao =] But im doing good, so far. Mountain dew! Haha. Suddenly ive become addicted to it. I dont know why but i have. Its yummy!! People keep asking me what is my defualt pic from, the words are from a song called "what if shes an angel", by joe nichols Its a good song. Get it. What if shes sent here from heaven and shes making certian your doing your best,
Junior had just received his brand new drivers license. To celebrate, the whole family trooped out to the driveway and climbed into the car for his inaugural drive. Dad immediately headed to the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," said the beaming boy to his old man. "Nope," came dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit back here and kick the back of your seat while you drive, just like you have been doing to me for sixteen years."
Ha Ha
1.How old will you be in five years? omg....49 :*((((((( 3. How tall are you? 5'5 4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks? Thanksgiving 5. What's the last movie you saw? hmm, Just Friends 9. Do you prefer to call or text? text 10. Do you have any pets? yes 11. What were you doing at 12am last night? watching TV 12. Are your parents married/separated/divorced? seperated 13. When is the last time you saw your mom? this morning 14. What color are your eyes? brown 15. What time did you wake up today? 5:45 16. What are you wearing right now? dress 17. What's your favorite Christmas song? jinlge balls 18. Where is your favorite place to be? under the covers 19. Where is your least favorite place to be? doctors office 20. Where would you go if you could go anywhere? England 21. Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs? don't know 22. do you tan or burn? tan 23. What did you fear was going to get you at
Hahaha Hilarious!!!!!!!!!
lol i'm still sick congested and my voice sound like a Teletubbie... *groans* lol i have no fever but i feel like if i played rugby with the national team lol hahaah i found this *sneezes* it's very funny hahaha well everyone can continue giving me love because i'm stupidly sick (fucking low deffenses) hahaha that could be me!! (luckyly i have a treadmiles and i know how to use it lol) HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!
Ha Ha Ha
If there was a better way to go then it would find me..i don't know what happen the road just roas up behind me', be kind to me or treat me mean i'll make the most of it im an extraordinary machine'. To all you unextraordinary people'. I bid thee a good day!!
Haha My Name Means Cool Things
ALICIA A is for Ambitious L is for Lively I is for Industrious C is for Complicated I is for Irresistible A is for Adventurous
Haha I'm Named After
The porno of Audra's life will be called ... "Threes Company" 'What will the porno of your life be called?' at one of the people in Three's Comapny!! haha!
Ha Ha
IF MY BODY WERE A CAR... If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish, and my paint job is getting a little dull; but that's not the worst of it. My headlights are out of focus, and it's especially hard to see things up close. My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather. My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently. But here's the worst of it -- Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter...either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!
new pics posted allllllllllll over my gallery *winks* but i am off and will give all yall some more love tomorrow. don't 4get bout me while i'm
Ha Ha
looking for my lestat any takers? apply within
Haha Tazzy I'm Normal :p
DisorderRatingParanoid Personality Disorder:LowSchizoid Personality Disorder:LowSchizotypal Personality Disorder:LowAntisocial Personality Disorder:LowBorderline Personality Disorder:ModerateHistrionic Personality Disorder:ModerateNarcissistic Personality Disorder:ModerateAvoidant Personality Disorder:ModerateDependent Personality Disorder:LowObsessive-Compulsive Disorder:Low-- Take the Personality Disorder Test ---- Personality Disorder Info --
You scored as strawberry's. Your kisses taste like strawberry's.... they are very sexy, sweet, and sensual. when you kiss your boyfriend its full of pasion and Love.....strawberry's81%Candy69%cherry's63%taste like tongue50%what does your kiss taste like??created with
Ha Ha...updates
So new pics are up...mainly of me stripping around a desk...which just so happens to belong to my best friend/room mate...she left town for the weekend so I had myself a good time...she laughed when I showed her the pics So Final Fantasy XII is like the awesomest game EVER...Im addicted...and getting ready to go play again...just thought I would post new pics since I finally got the camera working! Love you all, play nice and have fun!
Okay I don't really know what to say. But you must be bored enough to read this so I guess I'll say something. LOL. Well, lets see. I'm 20 I have a wonderful 9 month old son. I have good friends that I hang out with when I have time. The number one spot for me is Boarders. Yeah I know it's a book store. Get over it. Tish
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>>>Su Wong marries Lee Wong. >>> >>>The next year, the Wongs have a new baby. The nurse brings over a > lovely, >>>healthy, bouncy, but definitely Caucasian, white baby boy. >>> >>>"Congratulations," says the nurse to the new parents. "Well Mr. Wong, > what >>>will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?" >>> >>>The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, "Well, two > Wong's >>>don't make a white, so I think we will name him ........ >>> >>>Sum Ting Wong
um...well yeah. i dont have much to say at the moment, other than the fact that i am way totally bored. my back ground picture...that is me and my very best friend...*guy friend* and yeah. isnt he adorable. lol. anyways. um...yeah. at the moment i think i would literally kill for a smoke! anyways. um...yeah. i dont really know what all to say in this little thinger. lol. i feel kinda just a tad bit strange. and i am really hungry. so i guess i am gunna go and find something to munch on. lol. and i will hopefully have something more interesting to talk about later. so yeah. thats all. lol. kk. well ttyl. love ya bunches! infinite xoxo's!
An old farmer in Kansas had owned a large farm for several years. He had a >large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and >some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for >swimming when it was built. > >One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't >been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket >to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting >and laughing with glee. > >As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in >his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the >deep end of the pond. > >One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" > >The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim >naked or make you get out of the pond naked." >Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator." > >Moral: Old age and cunni
Haha Sweet 2 In 1
please show me some love i know the bottom one ya can leave as many comments as ya want...please give some loveeeeeeeeeeee i wld for you. click on pics for direct links 1) and 2)
Haha. So.
I know its like after noon and im just now doing this but my body hurts and im tired. And all i want to do is lay in my bed cause my kidneys feel like they are about to explode. And i have four 12 hour shifts starting monday. So yeah your insane if you think im spending much time on here today. Anyway. I posted a few bulletins today. And the most recent was about fat sonny, well im going to state something in here. WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT HES THE BEST. Got it? Good. I love him. And he is there for me. So the rest of the idiots that hate him, can go somewhere. Cause he matters more to me anyway. Case closed. Now onto the icon of the day. And for kicks ♥ ♥ ♥ My mom hasnt come home yet, they said not till tommorrow hopefully, they're going to do more tests. I wish theyd hurry up already. I miss her :(. Im tired. I didnt sleep much last night. Had more important things to do. Im not going to deal with any drama today. So ill reply to your hatemail
So friday night me and eric went on a double date with his brother and his girlfriend. We decided to go bowling near us in mount vernon to the thunder alley. We were placed right next to these punk ass teenagers that were being total jerks so we complained a couple times and when they became so disrespectful and annoying we decided we were going to leave, so the bowling alley gave us four free games of bowling plus our 30 dollars back! it was awesome and the teenagers got kicked out for 2 weeks besides costing the bowling alley like 70 bucks. So we got to go bowling for free it was great other than the little punks being rude and talking shit after we complained. Next time we are going to midnight bowling to win money and you have to be 18 and over not little punks kids allowed. YaY!
Haha Too Funny
Thought for the day... Friends Friends are like butt cheeks. Shit might separate them, But they always come back together. ************************************************** Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects the eyeball to the anus? It's called the Anal Optic Nerve, and it is responsible for giving people a shitty outlook on life. If you don't believe it, try to pull a hair from your ass and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye. Get free graphics at!
Hahaha!!! Mmmmmmmmm Meat
You scored as WereWolf. WereWolf: Craving rare Meat, feeling caged, aggitated by being around people. Unable to control one's anger or temper. The person will give off symptoms of the shift. They will seem more hostile, blood thirsty, aggitated. They may even growl, bare their teeth or other animal like tendencies. In rare cases, some will physically change. Facial hair will grow thicker or darker, nails will become longer, canine's will seem longer. Embrace your wild side, for you are The Misunderstood WereWolf.WereWolf92%Demon75%Faerie67%Mermaid59%Angel58%Dragon58%What Mythological Creature are you? (Cool Pics!)created with
Haha, Go Me.
Monica twice?
lmao - oooops...seems i hit the send button a few too many wasnt going through on my end...soooooo sorrry!
Hahahahahaha Omg
I was sending out messages to some people on my friends list, when I just noticed a new feature that Mike added... Now when someone rates your picture...or..adds a picture...or does something to a can see what it looks like to see what they said..or which picture they rated....kinda neat if you ask me...and you can see which picture it is before you even click the "photo" link YES FOLKS - I'M EASILY AMUSED!
Hahahah, Silicone
Haha This Is For Me
Top Comment Graphics Myspace Code Generators Layouts and for anyone else who would like to join me
Ha Ha Ha
WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH? My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete. This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning. Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there. The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening. Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on Lis
Purerave SUCKS.. Lol! This is gonna be funny, hearing all the whiney babies crying about 80% of their images being deleted God, I HATE the people on that site... They fully deserve any hacking brought forth unto them :O)
Haha One More For Today
Wife answers door to stranger A wife answers the door bell and a man asks her, "Lady, do you have a vagina?" and she slams the door shut. The next day the wife answers the door bell and its the same guy and he asks her, "Lady, do you have a vagina?" and she slams the door shut. The woman tells her husband about the guy and he says he will stay home from work the next day and this time she should tell the man she has a vagina and see what happens. The door bell rings, the woman answers the door, the man asks, "Lady do you have a vagina?" to which she says, "Yes, I do." The man then tells her, "Well then tell your husband to make use of it and stay away from my wife."
I love danielle. Haha no one knows who that is. But shes my highschool friend, and i loves her. Im in search of finding her a good guy! So any takers :P Shes fucking gorgeous haha. Shes not on here though. She should join. Ill make her. Lol. Ima see her soon. Were gonna go xmas shopping. And take her son to the aquariam!
Ha Ha! Guess What!
I offically broke up with Chase. I think for good this time! The other night his dad got on his screen name and started talking to me saying how it's all my fault that he's in trouble with his parents, because he wasn't suppose to have a girlfriend and all. Then my bestfriend started in on me saying how it's all my fault to. I'm not friends with her no more. I'm sick of the mind games he wants to play. I'm sick of him thinking he's a player and can get any girl that he wants. If it wasn't for his body & his personality he wouldn't of gotten me in the first place. I'm just sick of him and his bullshit he wants to play. I don't want no games. I guess I'm to mature for people these days. Who knows. His cousin got on talking to me today saying how Chase flirts with all these girls at his games and everything. It's like fuck that I don't need that shit. Then he covers up by saying that he pushes girls away and don't talk to them. I was like yeah, bullshit. Well people. I'm single ag
Subject: SNOWBALL FIGHT!!I lOVE Snow, I lOVE CHRISTMAS, I LOVE IT ALL!! (nah, not really) The Time is coming !!Ho Ho HO Let it snow>~You have just been hit with blogged snow ball!~>It's the start of.....Snow Ball Fight 2006!! & 2007!!One rule to this game....You can NOT hit someone who has already hit you!Now...go out there and get as many people as you can,before they get you!I got you first! and you can't get me back!Nanee - Nanee - Nanee!(hehe)We do not stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. NEVER BE THE FIRST TO GET OLD !!!!! __________________ROFPMSL__________________________>
Haha - Are You A Stalker?
Find this Video at:
It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed. The butcher had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager, who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow." "I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face." When the boy arrived home he told his mother. The woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on his face!"
Hahaha.... This Is Hella Fucked Up!
This is soooo Fucked UP and funny as hell!! So, one day... a girl was sick and her boyfriend had come over to fix her up and make her feel better... so he brought some soup, brownies, and a tape with some re-runs of the OC and Laguna Beach. He makes the soup and sets everything on a table next to her and pops in the tape. She eats the soup and watches the video. Her boyfriend says that he's gotta go to meet a friend, so he leaves and she breaks out the brownies. She finishes them right as the video tape was over... right after Laguna Beach ends, it cuts to a scene with her boyfriend getting a blowjob from her best friend and she spits his kum into the bowl of brownie mix. He looks at the camera and says, "You've just been dumped."
Every time I take this quiz, no matter from what website I always get the same answer: My rightful House is...Slytherin! Take this Quiz - Create a Quiz
Hahahahahaha! That Sounds About Right!
Which dark lord would SEDUCE you? (girls only; AWESOME PICS!!! STORIES AT THE END!!!) ...Lucifer. Yes, I am the one you call the Devil and Satan, and some more... I am the First Fallen, once the right hand of God."You just stood there, amazed with the things he told you. Could he be really the devil? Wasn't the devil supposed to be bad? Evil? Something? Lucifer waited for your answer, he wasnt going to make you do something you didnt want to do. You stared at him, and firmly you said "Yes, I do not mind you being who you are, Lucifer. I do see evil in you, but I knoe I am evil myself. We would see each other anyway."He smiled at this, and with a wave of his hand you were brought to the door again. His 10 huge black wings covered the two of you, as he leaned and kissed you lightly. You could feel his warm embrace, as he slowly picked you up bridal-style and took of, flying under your new home, which means Hell. Over the time, you began to be knowned as Lucifers bride, and years
Ha Ha Life Is Good
Jenn Last Updated: Dec 5, 2006 Send Message Instant Message Email to a Friend Subscribe Invite to My Blog Gender: Female Status: In a Relationship Age: 25 Sign: Pisces City: Middleburg State: FLORIDA Country: US Signup Date: 03/21/06 Blog Archive [ Older Newer ] 1234567891011121234567891011121314151617181920212223242526272829303120002001200220032004200520062007 Thursday, December 07, 2006 I like it!!! (sort of) Current mood: amused I have found a bunch of perks about my love being on the road. Granted him being gone so much sucks I have found that instead of making him come home like I was going to do I have decided to be very supportive about it. These are some of the positive things I have found about his new job. 1.) I know I can make him come home anytime with just a few words. 2.) We can travel and him get paid for it. 3.) I have talked to him on the phone for over 10 hours in a day every
Hahaha Do U Prefer Good Or Evil
well if its evil i am on that side show some loooooooove please here is the direct link... click on pic will take ya to direct link
Haha Said What Now
Haha This Is Great
here i was stuck in myspace this whole time never knew about this until my lovely dear friend liz oh how i love you more than toilet paper! THANKS
Ha Ha Ha
Funny Pictures
however my knees aren't skinned and my heart isn't broken now!!!
Haha, I Got The Bitch.
So, I'm with Danny now. He's amazing, nothing like he was with Alley. We never fight cause we never have a reason to. I'm really happy, not psycho happy like I was with my ex, just pleasantly floating along.
Ha Ha Ha!!
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl. We should've known...
Hahaha I Love Bobbi!! Read this from bottom up! "whoremoans: obviously ->whoremoans: yah but the coolest kinda gay whoremoans: we are so gay."
Life is all about BUTTS you're either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, or behaving like one ...... That's right, you've been " elfed " . Pass this on to as many people as possible, but you can't send it back to the person who sent it to you. He who elfs last, elfs loudest!!!!
Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!!!!
-insert yahoo singing smiley here- Sound familar? ♥
- Get Your Own
whoremoans: where is my pan asian cuisine?! ->whoremoans: lmfao..msg like message LOL whoremoans: msg? like salt? ->whoremoans: nvm there it is lol ->whoremoans: where the hell is my msg hahah another awesome convo with Bobbi..aka from bottom up!
How do these people survive? ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind,
Haha Game Head
I am 71% Video Game Addict.Video games are a big portion of my life, maybe too big of a portion. They are not a means of social interaction, despite what I might think. I should just go outside.Take theVideo Game Addict Test@ FualiDotCom
Hahahah Yeah Ok.....
lmao yeah if it was an accident he would have rerated it dumbass....apparently the buttons aren't the only thing thats small :)......anyway happy fucking birthday to me if any one cares oh wait thats right they don' update in my uncle...his vitals keep going crazy....there putting something in his neck to give him his medicines and also putting a trach(sp?) in, in the morning....they say he has over a 50% chance of survival....but that could only mean 51% which isn't very good...he also has some kind of respiratory infection....I guess well just take it one day at a time and see what happens....i'm going to bed to the people on my friends list that are actually friends, I hope you have a great night....
ok i posted this before but i added more to it lmao my sister was havin a convo with someone and she showed me this LOL * *hn* says: what to do what to do * * *hn* says: i wish when u went on msn u could like... go hang out with whoever is online * * *hn* says: like inside the internet or something ..[Nicole].. I Love Liquor LOL says: lol yeah I kno eh? would it be like? lol..would we all just be like..floating around with a white backround or what? lol * * *hn* says: nope... we'd appear in a room... with all kinds of like wires on the walls with electricity flowing thru them LOL THAT IS SOO FUNNY
I think I'm giving my sister a heart attack right now. I keep asking her about something [sexual] and she's bugging out on me right now. It's the funniest thing in te world!!!! I love torturing her. ♥
"God is dead." ~ Friederich Nietzsche "Nietzsche is dead." ~ God "Yeah, real mature, God." ~ Nietzsche "I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you." ~ God "Well then you're an awesome and cool philosopher who gets all the ladies. Nyah." ~ Nietzsche "Oh, that doesn't count." ~ God "Hey, don't call it if you can't stand the fact that I found a loophole." ~ Nietzsche "It's not a loophole, it's retarded." ~ God "If I had a gun I'd shoot you." ~ Nietzsche "Too bad I have a bulletproof vest" ~ God "Yeah well my bullets go through bullet proof vests." ~ Nietzsche "Nuh-uh, my vests made of titanium and nothing goes through titanium." ~ God "Well then I'd shoot you with a laser that melts the titanium and then kills you." ~ Nietzsche "No way, this is special unmeltable titanium, you can't melt it." ~ God "Yes I can, my laser has infrared, and like, ultraviolet light combined that melts even unmeltable titanium." ~ Nietzsc
Hahaha Rob (my boyfriend) got beat up by a 42 yr old drunk woman at work tonight!!
Hahah Funny No One Wants To Rate Ur Profile When U Status Says Dont Want 2 Cam
hahahahahahahaaa u ppl r sad around here!!!
Ha Ha Look What I Got
hi i how are u doing?i was urfing tru looking for love and i caught my eyes..i would love to know more about you and what u call an ideal woman..... .Here's a little about me: My dads from Ukraine while my mum's a south african .I really have to tell you that you sound so nice in ur profile, but I�m really sorry to disappoint you because right now to be sincere, I really have a problem that is disturbing at the moment, Right now I�m not in the states, I was supposed to leave for the states last week, but because of what�s on ground at the moment I couldn�t make the trip till all this gets resolved. My flight would be re-scheduled and delayed because of what's going on around me now. I�m so sorry I don't mean to bother you with this problem I got at the moment, but for now I think you in the best position to listen to me .I came in here with some funds to see me through my vacation and hopefully get me back to the states while my vacation is done. Actually its about this
... Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge. The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and pursuade them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday." Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one, "How did you do over the weekend?" "Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever." "17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?" "I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs." "That's admirable," said the judge. "And you, how did you do?" (to the 2nd guy) "Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever." "156 people! That's amazing! How did y
Start at the bottom oh the horror -----Original Message----- From: Me Sent: Wednesday, December 27, 2006 10:36 AM To: Sister Subject: Re: not cool. Next thing I know I'll be cleaning my room!~ ----- Original Message ----- From: Sister To: Me Sent: Wednesday, December 27, 2006 10:25 AM Subject: RE: not cool. well it's a start -----Original Message----- From: Me Sent: Wednesday, December 27, 2006 9:58 AM To: Sister Subject: not cool. are you trying to teach me responsibility with this damn purse? I'm used to chucking them everywhere, now i'm so careful. i hate!
wow I blog you and show everyone what a jack ass you are and you keep giving me more.....and as of right now i'm still in his family even though he's been blocked and deleted fucking sad....his profile song is perfect though... ~Kyle~@ CherryTAP
My score on The What is your REAL age Test:You are 41 years old!! Link: The What is your REAL age Test (OkCupid Free Online Dating)
Haha Guess What?
I have talked to several people on here. AND guess what I'm not deleting CT. Most of them know me way to well or knows a little bit of me. They told me not to delete CT cause then it just proves that people want their ways and its not going to happen. Holly, Eric, and Jake you all are ingored on yahoo messenger and on here. I dont want anything to do with anyone of yous. You all have cut down my friends and I. We all stick together an will never stop sticking together! I am happy the way my life is going an no one is going to ruin it. So please don't ever bother us again that means try talking to us or harrassing us! Thank you very much an have a wounderful life an please go harrass other people! LOVE YA ALL..... ANNA
Haha Ok Last One From My Myspace
as i am sitting here.... thinking of the day.. that you went away... and dreaming of the day that you will return... and thinking of the day you will never go away... and ur heart will be mine for ever and for always... i do not wish for anything more.. but for you to just turn around and leave that whore... -courtney
Haha Bellybutton
please show a comment and ten is all i ask u DON'T HAVE to show bombing just a lil love is all i ask click link for contest page thanx to all who do show love
Ha Ha, We Are Smart...
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to". The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husban
lmao me and my friend michelle. M-I-C-H-E-L-L-E says: c ya bula x0x..(((.l|l.I.Lub.Him.l|l.)))..x0x.. ..x0x....{{..Deep.Inside.The.Corner.Of.My.Mind.Im.Attached.To.You..}} says: cya beatrice M-I-C-H-E-L-L-E says: omg hahaha M-I-C-H-E-L-L-E says: by ethal x0x..(((.l|l.I.Lub.Him.l|l.)))..x0x.. ..x0x....{{..Deep.Inside.The.Corner.Of.My.Mind.Im.Attached.To.You..}} says: bye burtha M-I-C-H-E-L-L-E says: bye Belva x0x..(((.l|l.I.Lub.Him.l|l.)))..x0x.. ..x0x....{{..Deep.Inside.The.Corner.Of.My.Mind.Im.Attached.To.You..}} says: bye francine M-I-C-H-E-L-L-E says: Bye majorie x0x..(((.l|l.I.Lub.Him.l|l.)))..x0x.. ..x0x....{{..Deep.Inside.The.Corner.Of.My.Mind.Im.Attached.To.You..}} says: bye erima M-I-C-H-E-L-L-E says: Bye edith x0x..(((.l|l.I.Lub.Him.l|l.)))..x0x.. ..x0x....{{..Deep.Inside.The.Corner.Of.My.Mind.Im.Attached.To.You..}} says: bye starla M-I-C-H-E-L-L-E says: bye stella x0x..(((.l|l.I.Lub.Him.l|l.)))..x0x.. ..x0x....{{..Deep.Inside.The.Corner.Of.My.Mind.I
Today I learned what a "car service " actually was . I told my friend where to stay at here. Then I said.. My car was dirty.. so .. I'd clean it. Then my friend says.. oh.. will you take me to the car service? geeeeeeeez hehe I dunno if i'm ready for my friend to show up. I thought she meant rent a car.. lmao
Myspace Glitters
Hahaha Mct
Ha Ha Funny Naughty Joke
A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone." "No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?" His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.' It worked! The headaches are all gone." The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful." His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?" The husband agrees to try it. Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." He goes into the bathroom and comes back A few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wif
Ha Ha Another Joke
A mother and her young inquisitive son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?" The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the flight attendant. So the boy dutifully asked the flight attendant, "If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?" The flight attendant responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?" The little boy admitted that she did. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Now, let your mother explain that to you...
Ha Ha Ok One More....
The next time your having a bad day: imagine this: you're a siamese twin. Your brother attached to your shoulder,is gay. your not. He has a date coming over tonight. you have only one ass.
Ha Ha Gotta Love A Drunk Redneck Lol
Ha Ha Go Barney
Ha Ha Dont Think This Is What He Had In Mind!
Ha Ha Ha Hes So Stoopid!
Ha Ha, Very Funny...
So who is the one? Who has this crush on sucks cause I dunno who it is nor how to find out...
Haha Some Funny Shit...
ok so a girl at work wrote this on her myspace thinking ohnoes, i'm not gonna hear about it... ~~i hope its not busy. and costumers are nice.. and co-workers are even nicer. " if you keep on changing your hair your hairs going to fall out" aka im a fat ugly bitch and your jealous of me. at work some coworker, who is always rude to me. was soo rude, but i stuck up formyself. and then i cried lmao.~~ this is all i had to say to her ~~ok now first off let's point out the GRAMMATICAL errors. - its should be it's - costumers should be customers ((seriously learn how to spell...)) - hairs should be hair's - your should be you're secondly, what the FUCK have i got be jealous of? your fake hair? the ten pounds of makeup on your face? hmm, or could it be that you're a little girl who's going nowhere but walmart. at least with my talent ((LIKE OHMYFUCK)) i can get somewhere if i choose. you didn't stick up for yourself you DUMBASS, you only spit out a stupidass
im bored school got canceled cuz of the frezing rain & i reached my limit on rating pics again, i did that last night as well. does anyone know what is the limit on rating pics?
Awww poor baby you didnt like the truth so you just decided to block me again. I gave you my MOS and you fuckin ignored it like a serious fucking asshole. You say you are 35 you served in the gulf? really what reg were you with? where were you based? You sit there and point out to me i have no pictures of me sitting there with my m-16. Sorry that i dont show off i was out there to do a job asshole. You said you sat there in a bunker? I bet you spent most of your time hiding in one. Get some fucking guts. Come face me like a fucking man. So i am playing in my daddies uniform my dad never fucking served asshole. I miss my big brother? I am the oldest of all my brothers! So fuck you! A real soldier aint gotta prove shit to no one. OH your going to go around and tell people that i am not a real soldier, Be my fucking guest most of the guys on here are buddies of mine. And if you want to start shit i will take it to a higher athority and watch you get laughed at for being
Haha To Funny I Think The Rates Wrong
PARTY GIRL 66% BadGirl-ness Hey PARTY GIRL, toss on your shortest skirt and hit the town, if youre lucky youll be a VIXEN by Sunday morning. Note: This is an shortened form of the Bad Girl Test taken from the book The Bad Girl Test by Alyssa Simms published by My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:You scored higher than 99% on BadGirl-ness Link: The Bad Girl Test written by cutedork79 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test
Haha I Can Have Sex All Night Long...
Aries - I'm A Lover, Not A Hater Aquarius - I Fuck For Fun Gemini - I Fuck Better Than You Cancer - I Can Make You Love Me Leo - I Fuck Like No Other! Virgo - I'm The Best At Sex! Libra - I'm Great In Bed! Scorpio - I'll Make You Scream My Name Sagittarius - I'll make you beg for More Taurus - I'm Sexii As Hell Capricorn - I Can Have Sex All Night Long! Pisces - When I Put It On You, You'll Be Sprung For Life Since you opened this you'll have bad luck and a bad sex for life unless you repost this in less than 10 minutes with the subject of whatever your sign
Haha Ohgawd Xd
the thing at work broke XD like the thing that beeps when you put a cd over it, yea, it broke :x like, it was held up, then it fell and scared the bejesus outta me i was gonna cry LoL i was ringin a customer through then outta nowhere -THUD- ;-; oh it scared me so much i coulda peed XD on another note the ring that my ex gave me i can wear again :D it doesn't disgust me anymore, i came to this conclusion when i was at work helping with the toy jewellery yunno? anyway so i figured, wtf, i've been getting sick to my stomach over a pretty ring which actually DOESN'T hold any meaning for me, so i got dianna to give it back to me so now my pretty meaningless ring is back in my possession :) hehe plus i like the way the diamonds are set XD haha i'm so weird sometimes but seriously, the way i see it, is i was getting all pissed off and everything, over a ring, a very pretty white gold diamond ring... now it sits on top of my stainless steel ring on my right middle finger :) it looks lik
Haha Ew Xd
ewwww i feels all gross and gungy and sweaty and gross XD haha but i feel GOOD :D haha damned exercising and my being determined to get rid of my pudgums!
Haha Just For The Record
the way my hair is right now ((i haven't brushed it out yet, well i've brushed it and put product in it)) but anyway, the way my hair is right now, i feels like a lion XD haaaa -shrug-
wtf sophia's tryin to jump outta her aquarium heh, silly little mouse
I havent done this in a while, blog of the day
Haha Now I Don't Have Time!!!
When I needed to talk, U didn't have time U had other problems more important than mine When I felt all alone and reached out 2 u U had places to go more important things to do I tried 2 get ur attention I needed 2 know that u cared I guess u didn't notice I was scared I needed u 2 help decide wat 2 do U said I'll find time 4 u later I guess that wasn't true either What should I have done 2 have earned some of ur time? I tried to be patient, while standing in line I needed ur opinion on tha right way and tha wrong with u I needed to belong Whenever I failed that alwayz got ur attention but tha good that I did u never did mention I've paid a high price for what should have been free now do u see why theres no u and me!!!
Ha Ha Must Read!!!
Little Melvin was 7 years old and like other boys his age rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about 'making out' from the older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his question to his mother, who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining things to Sean, she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did. The following morning, Melvin described EVERYTHING to his mother. "Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging her. I figured 'Sis must be getting sick, because her face started looking funny. He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just the way the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as the doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart. I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty s
derzahla (7:51:45 PM): sammith derzahla (7:52:18 PM): so rather than disolving into chemical worlds you chooseto disolve into electronic worlds derzahla (7:52:23 PM): WoW is evil SoulDancerz (7:52:26 PM): I heart WoW. derzahla (7:52:28 PM): its sucking your soul down derzahla (7:52:34 PM): like a spghetti noodle Yeah. Imma nerd. >>
been listening to LoL it's an online radio station i wanna dance around my room in mah underoos LoL
Haha :d
Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha...omg
Ha Ha Ha
First and formost let me say how over used LOL is. That is why I mix it up a bit with a ha ha or a hee hee maybe even a laugh and snort. But what gets on my nerves the most is the fake LOL. "Tara, how do you know if it is a fake LOL? They are after all, on a computer and you can't see them" Oh young one you have so much to learn. Now sit down and let me explain the fake LOL. First, why would you laugh out loud after saying hi to someone or I'm doing good. If you do laugh out loud at this you are insane and I dont want to be around you. I will flee from you...quickly. Second, I know I'm not that funny. Everything that comes out of my mouth should not cause an out pour of laughter. I wish it did, but, I know better. Third, they have a web cam. If you are going to let me watch you type and chat with me don't type LOL or ROTFLMAO when you dont even crack a smirk or grin. If I see this I will call you out on this. A side note to this:: do you need to inform me you are LOL if I c
You will take over Canada using only green contact lenses Take this quiz at
Haha Dumb Kids
Three couples went to a resturant. The women wanted to compliment the men with something that was on the table. "Could you pass me the sugar, sugar?" said the first gal. "Could you pass me the honey, honey?" said the second. "Could you pass me the bacon, pig?" said the third. What do you call a 350-pound stripper? Broke! A man and a woman were involved in a terrible car accident and both cars were totaled. They climbed from the wreckage and the woman stood in awe."Our cars are demolished, yet we walk unharmed. This must be a sign from God that we are to be best friends for the rest of our lives," she spoke wisely. "I agree completely, ma'am," the man replied. The woman stepped closer to examine the damage and noticed something shiny within her car.Reaching in, she pulled out an unbroken bottle. "This bottle of wine wasn't even cracked. I think this is another sign that we are to drink a toast to our new friendship." "That's a great idea, miss," the man ans
Hahahaha!! Now You No The Truth,lol!!
Facts about sex Men: 1) 94% of men lie about their penis size. According to condom manufacturers, only 6% of men use extra large condoms. 2) The average man is 5 inches long when erect (no matter what you have heard ladies, that's the truth). 3) 80% of American men are circumsized. Even though Pediatrics say it is not necessary. 4) No matter what all the ads say, nothing can make your penis grow but time (most men reach the end of their growth by the early 20's) 5) There is no correlation between penis size and shoe size, hand size, or nose size. 6) Blue balls does exist! It's technically called "prostatic congestion." 7) Only 16% of men shave their privates. +Some stuff on the ladies+ ------------------------------ 1) Only 9% of women around the globe consider themselves "attractive" (20% of British women do). 43% of women use the term "natural", 24% say they have "average" looks, 8% prefer the term "feminine", 7% say they are "good looking", and 7%
Haha @ Lsu
So did ya hear, Les Miles said LSU has a new rival, lol, "Fu*king Alabama" as he put it lol, i think LSU is running scared now that Saban is at Bama.
omg peeps are pothetic i sooooo been down rated in pic show some mad love i am a day behind in this one (last contest i am doing)
You scored as yeah u r but u shud get ur eyesight checked. u r a fukin bombshell but u just dint c it, tho unblind ppl do! so u might consider the idea of gettin ur eyes checked... or maybe u hav an evil mirror who reflects the opposite of wut is being seen but deep inside u kno ur better lookin than others... yeah u r but u shud get ur eyesight checked68%self -esteem exremely HIGH!!46%r u hot but u just dont realize u r?created with
Hahaha....who's My Next Prank Victim???
Saturday Nights! Join ~Clandestine~ for The Cherry Punk Show! All request Punk music from 9pm - 11pm EST!! Oh Yeah...and Someone Is gonna get Punk'd! You don't wanna miss this! Tell you Friends! CherryTaps Ulitmate Prankster is gonna have some FUN TONIGHT!!! Now Playing: Punk Rock Show Click the pics to get there!
Hahahahahaaaaaaa Love This!
Sexy & Romantic glitter graphics from
Hahahaha Too Funny!!!!!!
Sexy & Romantic glitter graphics from
You know us lesbians are very easy to get a long with . We like a lot of the same thigns the rest of you all do! We love to get ate and we love to eat and so that pretty much covers both sexs(lmao) So that goes to show we are just easy going people!!!!
Hahaha!! Im Such A Dork!! :p
dude! im at my moms visiting...most of you so of course old pictures come out are a few lol..that i approve of lol lol...told ya im a dork! :P
so yeah this is just a random blog... filled with random shit... yup... so heres a statement for you to ponder... if from the lips of babes comes pearls of wisdom... then from the lips of angles comes clods of shit... and yeah i already know that im going to hell... ive been going there for a while now... and when i finally get there... im going to take it over... and if for some reason i dont get to hell and i go to heaven ill try and take that shit over to... hehehehe... yep
Haha, Look At The New Guy
that would be me. feel free to pick on me, slap me around etc.
Men are so amusing... That's all for now, this place is a wasteland, haha. I'm gonna go check myspace :P Brought to you by the letter X
Haha Yep Another Rank One
Haha Wtf!?!
Ok so like I mentioned before I was gonna look up Blue Angel by Squirrel Nut Zippers.... Needless to say I'm side tracked by Eiffel 65 and that Blue song... ROTFLMAO.... Honestly... I haven't heard this song in years... Kinda makes you wanna dance... Hahah... I had to share the retarded moment. Its getting put on my playlist... top track so everyone can share in the stupid. Also, I blog an aweful lot... Whats the deal with that!?! I think I just have a lot to say and no one to say it to... Who knows... Neil comes home friday.. W00t Diner... I miss the diner I get to go to the diner. -Does happy dance- i need something to do during the summer... I think I might chill in a big truck.. See the country. It'd be nice... I'm so utterly sick of this place. hmmhmm Ok I'm done for now... Eiffel 65 is over. =(
aint gonna miss you bitches
Hahaha...more Jokes
MOMMIES BLACK SPONGE Little Johnny sees his mother walk out of the shower and sees her vagina. He asks her what it is and she embarassed replies, "Oh, that's mommy's black sponge." A few days later, Johnny spills a glass of milk on the floor and says, "Mommy, I need your black sponge to mop up the milk!" She replies, "I lost it, honey." A couple of days later, he comes running up to her and says, "Mommy, I found your black sponge!" Mystified, she says, "Where, honey?" Little Johnny says, "It's over at Mrs. Johnson's house, and Daddy's washing his face in it!" ________________________________________________ DANCE WITH ME Two men at a bar had been enjoying a few drinks for the past couple of hours and were pretty drunk when one of them notices a beautiful woman sitting in the corner. One says to the other, "Jeez, I'd really like to dance with that girl." The other man replies, "Well go ahead and ask her, don't be a chicken shit." So the man approaches the love
SPRING CLASSES FOR MEN REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Monday, August 28, 2007 NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM. Classes begin Monday, September 4, 2007 Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM. Class 2 The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours. Class 3 Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturda y 10:00 PM for 2 hours. Class 4 Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor --- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturday at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks. Class 5 After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen
Ha Ha
Funny Myspace Pictures
Haha Me Not Be Naughty...ok Her
Haha Keep Running Your Mouth Bitch Boy, And As For You Sasquatch,,it Was A Email Ignorant Wench!
A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?" Oh, I don't know", said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?" "OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?" The stranger thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea," To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"
Haha Wahooooo Love It
THE TATTOO There once was a couple of newlyweds named John and Wendy. John told his wife Wendy that he wanted a tattoo! Wendy agreed and said that would be ok. John did not know what the tattoo should say or where he would put it. So Wendy said, "Well, if you REALLY loved me, you would get my name tattooed on your pecker." John couldn't back out on that one, so he went to the tattoo parlor. The tattoo artist told him that he needed to have an erection while he put it on. After an hour of excruciating pain, the tattoo was done. As John was on his way home from the tattoo parlor he saw a rest stop and decided he needed to stop and take a leak. He went to the restroom and looked down to admire his tattoo and he noticed, that when he was not erect, the only letters that were visible, were the W and the Y. Suddenly, a big black gentleman steps into the urinal beside John and John accidentally looked down at the guy and could not help but notice that he ALSO had the letters
Haha Wahoooooo
Olaf vas vorking at da fish plant up nort in Dulut vhen he accidently cut off all ten of his finkers. He vent to da emergency room in da Clinik and vhen he got dar da Norsky doctor looked at Olaf and said, "Let's have da finkers and I'll see vhat I can do." Olaf said, "I haven't got da finkers." "Vhat do you mean, you hafen't got da finkers?" he said. "Lord-it's 2006! Ve's got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could hafe put dem back on and made you like new! Vhy didn't you brink da finkers?" To vhich Olaf says, "How da fock vas I suppose to pick dem up?"
Haha, How Good Is That!
, you're now logged in! Below you'll find your test result. After, continue on to your homescreen to discover what we're about. continue to OkCupid homescreen > The Sexologist You scored 64 desirability, 81 skill, and 80 open-mindedness! You're a freaking expert your soo good. I mean can you give me some pointers? My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:You scored higher than 99% on desirabilityYou scored higher than 99% on skill
Hahahaha Loser
user: RATTPACK9s ------------------------------------- yay!!! my first online bully. hahahaha. rather exciting and amusing really, downrating my pics and then blocking me like it actually means something. what should i do to celebrate? To finally know what it's like to have some dickhead behind a computer screen thinking what he does matters? hmmm...gonna put some thought into this one....
Haha Okay Am Vain (wot Can Ya Do?)
You Are 72% Vain You're a little vain, but you also work hard for your good looks. Just remember, everyone knows you are a total hottie. You don't have to remind them. How Vain Are You?
Ha Ha! Capitalism In Action!!
This dude has some BALLS!! Ha ha!! MOURNER WHO PAYS RESPECTS IS ASKED TO BUY SOMETHING ELSE DEAR ABBY: Within the last two months, my dear 75-year-old friend, "Margery," lost her 51-year-old daughter and her 29-year-old granddaughter to cancer. (They were mother and daughter.) At the funeral home there was a table at the entrance to the viewing room with a printed card asking for your name, address and phone number if you wanted to receive an obituary and memorial card encased in plastic. (I did.) Two days after the funeral, I received a call from the funeral home asking me what my thoughts were about the funeral. I told the man I had been to many funerals in my life, but had never been called and asked my thoughts about any of them. However, since he was asking, I told him I had been upset to hear from Margery that he tried to charge her $1,000 more for her granddaughter's wake then he did for the daughter's identical wake. And then, this insensitive jerk proceeded to ask
Ball-tight Wranglers and cowboy boots Redneck shirt, you think you're cute Confederate flag and a can of dip And you wonder why I call you a hick? A primer Ford truck gets you far You'll spend the rest of your life working on cars You dream of being the Marlboro man When you need to learn to spit in a can Senior in high school with a 5th grade education You're still obsessed with masturbation Stupid haircut and a stetson hat All this and a girl who's fat You have an incest disposition 'Cuz inbreeding is tradition
Ha Ha
so i was watching vh1's 1 hit wonders... well i noticed a few things in this show.. first thing i noticed was that.. yeah most of the bands on there only had one hit... but i totally thought the album as a whole was awesome... another thing i noticed in most cases at least 1 band member died in their 40s.. which is still young.. so if the greats died in their 20s then the one hit wonders had an impact but not good enough to die early but still early enough to be! okay that was just wrong.. but that whole show pissed me off like modern english melt with you made the list but they had other great songs...i digress... another thing i noticed is when they are advertising movies.. its always and i mean always the best comedy of the year.. or one of the best.. how can you say that about all of them... now i swear you will notice it... one of the scariest horror movies of the year... well if they are that way that statement has no merit.. now does it. for all my friendsbeca
Haha, I Love This.
1. Is anyone mad at you? not that i can think of. hmm. 2. When is your next real kiss? lol. you can schedule these things? sweet, i'd like one tonight at 8:30 please. 3. Who's the first person you'd call if you won the lottery? i wouldn't call anyone... i'd let them by giving them their new car. 4. Do you have a fish tank in your house? nope. 5. What is your ring tone? the all american rejects can't take it. 6. Do you delete people on MySpace when ur mad at them? i've done it once. 7. What color is your pillowcase? green with white polka dots. 8. Nearest green object? the little light on my speakers. 9. What color shirt are you wearing? orange. 10. Who do you trust the most? amanda; jana; and katy. 11. What color is your phone? black and silver. 12. What's on your tv? nothing. 13. Do you forgive people easily? sometimes. i do if it's a small thing, but if it's a very large deal, then i might hold off for a while. 14. What
Haha Im Freddy!!!
You scored as Freddy Krueger. You are Freddy Krueger. You are evil, but enjoy having fun. Sure you made some bad choices in life, causing some parents to attack you, and burn you alive. But hey, you have even more fun now than you did then! You prefer waiting for your victims to fall asleep, so you can have fun with them in your world. But if they pull you out, you dont let that stop your fun! Freddy Krueger90%Pinhead45%Michael Myers45%Buffalo Bill45%Captain Spaulding40%Jason Voorhees40%Jigsaw35%Leatherface35%Hannibal Lecter35%Candyman15%
Haha Hellz Yea!!!
Your 1996 Theme Song Is: California Love by Tupac and Dre Let me serenade the streets of L.A. From Oakland to Sacktown The Bay Area and back down Cali is where they put they mack down Give me love! What's Your 1996 Theme Song?
Last night I was bored right? none of my people were answering their phones so....... I decided to take shots of Jameson. Against myself. I won of course. Bad idea, I couldn't see straight after a while. But it made south park that much funnier. That's Some Funny Shit
Your most embarrassing sexual moment: You got stuck to your partner while trying out some crazy kama sutra move Take this quiz at
Hahah I Love You Kitty
my little scheiskopf wat a cutie i rolled over and opend my eyes and she was curled up staring at me smiling hahahah
Ha Ha Swag
Shar♥Baby@ CherryTAP
ok voters...this is what we wanted. congratulations to all who helped get the right political party in office that has OUR best interests in mind. we will now be moving into the era of carbon credits. what are those you may ask? this is a new stock market exchange that involves the sale of carbon credits to countries that are continuous offenders of the keyoto accords, such as america. countries are given a specific amount of carbons allowed each year to be expelled into the atmosphere. this figure will be based on the countries output level (gross domestic product) and the percentage of economic growth. how does this work you may ask? we as a country make stuff (for the whole world i might add) and we go over our yearly allowed amount of carbon. what ever company that is producing all this nasty pollutants will be forced to purchase carbon credits from other countries such as russia, france, mexico, canada, spain, japan, australia, sudan, iraq, iran, Syria, south africa, brazil, ho
Haha My Horoscope For Today!
Being convinced you know best is a terribly uncomfortable position to hold. It's time to get off your high horse before you get a cramp. Talk to people from your heart and you'll see a big change in their reactions.
I'm a fool, got together with someone who made me think He was One Person In Turn He was someone different. Now we are not together, I'm not happy but i have to live with it. Mother Fucker, I'm nothing but a sucker hehe no pun intended. Well whatever such is life!
I saw a bulletin today about Achilles aka asshat... and well, just go look here under the drama link.... lmfao
I am bored and feel like writing so I thought HEY WHY NOT EMBARRASS MYSELF AND WRITE A NEW seriously...I was sitting outside earlier and almost watched an accident happen right infront of my house....and all I could do was sit there and laugh at these stupid fuckers...what made this situation even better for me was the fact that both of these ppl must have been around when moses parted the red sea and had worse language than a 2 live crew album...You ever think that they should just start yanking licenses from ppl that are to cenile to realize they should know better?
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
Hahaha.. My Creepy Myspace Stalker.
Okay... first... I only replyed to one of this guys letters... which makes it even SO much better... Letter one. Titled: Hi Normally, I would look at someones page and go straight to their other pics and skip the song, but something was different here. I dont think ive ever heard something so sad yet beautiful. Tell me, do you choose music to show your personality? I just am curious. I know people have their reasons. I guess I'm curious about you. You've peaked my interest. Please dont take this as just another email from some stupid horn dog. I am not the type, but if given the chance, youll discover that. You've already disarmed me with that song. I wait with anticipation to see if you can break down my walls with the rest of your personality. Letter 2. Titled Please read and reply. SAME DAMNED LETTER. Letter 3. Titled Totally Rude. How rude is it not to show someone the common courtesy of even a reply when they take the time to comment on your page and th
Ha Ha Ha Ha ......
i dont need emails, i dont need crushes, i dont need comments, not even so much. for i have his heart and you could only wish, that you could have what we have, so laugh it up you silly bitch!!!
A guy walks into a bar with his pet alligator, puts the gator up on the bar, and faces the patrons. "If I open this alligators mouth and place my genitals inside, leave em there for five minutes, then remove my unit unscathed, will each of you buy me a drink?" The crowd murmurs its approval, so he gets up on the bar, drops his pants, and places his privates in the alligators open mouth. The gator then closes its mouth as the crowd gasps. After five minutes, the man grabs a beer bottle and raps the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opens its mouth and the man removes his genitalsunscathed, as promised. The crowd cheers, and the first of his free drinks is delivered. "Anyone else have the guts to give it a try?" the man dares the crowd. After a few seconds, a blonde woman timidly speaks up. "Ill do it, but no hitting me on the head with the bottle!!!"
You guys are funny. I give a poor rating and you get upset...thats sooooo funny. whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa lmao
I don't want you to think I don't like marriage," said the man to his friend. "I've been happily married three damn times. My last wife was one of them women's libbers. She got mad 'cause I opened the car door for her. Of course, we were going 75 mph when I did it."
Ha Ha Ha
Funny Myspace Pictures
Hahahaha , This Is Sooo Me!!!
SORRY TO AWAKE THE DEMONS GUYS, I KNOW I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FORGET THE 80'S, WELL, SINCE THE 80'S. LATER ALL! You Grew Up In the 80's if: 1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word SIKE. 2. You can sing the rap to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and can do the Carlton 3. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey on Blossom 4. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock" 5. It was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons. 6. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head. 7. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school. 8. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side. 9. You played the game "MASH"(Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House) 10. You wore stonewashed Jordache jean jackets and were proud of it. 11. You know the profound meaning of " WAX ON , WAX OFF" 12. You wanted to be a Goonie.
so im going to rocky tonight and if u dont know what it is get a life lol . but gona have fun tonight hope you all do as well and i will be useing the blogs more i hope soon
This childish little girl thought it was so funny to post a mumm about "Why men don't get laid" and asked for everyones opinion....Well we gave our opinions and she got really pissed off at PuNkin and started saying PuNkin was ugly and she was cuter than PuNkin and when I chimed in to defend PuNkin the little bitch started shouting at me in my Shoutbox and leaving me private messages....She started telling me she hated me and I was a bitch (well duh look at my screen-name LOL) and she said she was going to go to the bouncers and tell them me and PuNkin and Pierced Psycho were harrassing her and I told her the bouncers didn't give a shit about goes on in between CHERRYTAP memebers....Well if you would like to go show her some not so cherry love attacking Me, PuNkin and Pierced Psycho then here is her link: Shed a Tear@ CherryTAP Much love to all my friends, Crazy Bitch
So I went to Ikea today with my cousin. We were buying a bed for her son. So I was on a rant and rave about guys not having balls and how I could care less that we were broken up but I think at the VERY least deserved a face to face explanation instead of a text... but anyway...(dwell over the situation not the guy!) She had picked out which bed she wanted and was waiting for her mom to come take a look at it and we decided to wander. I found two bedroom sets that I absolutely love, but seeing as I don't have any room for them or expendable cash at the moment had to leave it :( Oh well. We ventured into the office chair section and were testing out chairs. I've come to the realization there should be an ikea type store for Men! Just like how I tested out a bunch of chairs looking for a comfy one I could go around and test out hugs and kisses and such then pick one out that had the looks and personality I wanted. Would be Perfect! Go to isle 45, bin 6 for this one! hahahaha! So yeah. He
Ha Ha
Am I a day off,lol...I just sent out thursday's comments. Man I am freaking losing it! Owell at least I got em out!!!
From my friend Pete Today is International Disadvantaged People's Day. Please send an encouraging message to a retarded friend...just as I've done. You hang in there sunshine, you're damn special!!!
Haha Tuff Shit!
Don't you just feel the love!!! DownRater@ CherryTAP Bless, going after the mummers like that, bless! pity most of them are in my family list and yes my family block is ON! Haha!
Haha Gotta Love It
this is tony at his last job lol
Hahaha Another Retard
So I decided to be nice and follow the band wagon, clicking on people who enter a room and rate them a 10...i get this... 2007-6-13 19:14:20 YOU ARE 10 YEARS OLDER THEN ME PLEASE DO NOT CHECK ME OUT never sent any messages, just rated 10. Hey people...why not go outside and stay off the internet. Morons takin shit too seriously, atleast i found it funny as hell. Maybe just me? But hey if you want to annoy her look up "Me-g-an-16-shor" make your profile like your 90 years old and rate her... might just be entertaining.
Ha Ha
As you can see, I'm back. I've got new pics posted, and if the internet here in my hew house would chill out then I can start updating more frequently. Lets just say life is interesting when you live with your best friend/ex-boyfriend. Things have no been boring. I promise you that. Ugh. Ah well, I still adore the boy...stupid me. it's bed for me now!
Haha My Thoughts On Alex Rodriguez Aka Pay-rod
okay...ALL YOU PUSSY ASS BITCH YANKEE FANS STOP CLAIMING A-ROD HE LIVED IN NYC TILL HE WAS 6 FUCKING 6 YEARS OLD HE SPEND MOST OF HIS LIFE IN THE DOMINICAN REPUBLIC...AND WHAT HE DIDNTED HE LIVED IN THE FLORIDA..SORRY TO BREAK YOUR HEARTS BUT ALEX RODRIGUEZ HAS BEEN SHIT SINCE 2000-2001 SEASON..his first year with the TEXAS Rangers...wanna know how i know this and remeber his first year with texas because he was a Seattle Mariner WE GAVE THAT DUMB FUCKER A START....WHEN HE BROKE HIS UGLY ASS JAW....not only was he GREAT IN SEATTLE HIS FIRST FEW YEARS but he was a nicer guy...To this very DAy if he walks to the batters box in Safeco Feild THE BALLPARK fills with boos...JUST LIKE IT WOULD IF ALEXANDER LEFT THE HAWKS NEST AKA QWEST FIELD...I BOO HIM IN THE STADUIM THO..Look at his rookie Stats compared to what alex rodriguez has now..he thinks hes a home run hitter...hes deprived his glove and his quickness...he stole bases like no other..And he had a bad ass arm..but for the last 7 years
I got a call from Heather and she's about to break up with her boyfriend, and most of you probably know the background story of her and I. So would it be smart of me to pursue her or just let it go since in August I'm going back to school?
Haha, Bitch
Godsmack - I Fuckin' Hate You For everything you do I'd like to swallow you And everyday I'm gonna blame you Even if you justify Every fucking bullshit lie It only makes me want to break you You pull me down And you crucify my name You make me insane It's broken now Don't ever look my way Don't even think I'm playin' 'Cause I fucking hate you You're such a liar And I love to hate you You're all the same to me When you repeatedly Take advantage of me The only thought I get of you sickens me Everybody knows you're fake You're everything I fucking hate And I'm everything that you could never be You pull me down And you crucify my name You make me insane It's broken now Don't ever look my way Don't even think I'm playin' 'Cause I fucking hate you You're such a liar And I love to hate you You're all the same to me I fucking hate you You're such a liar And I love to hate you You're all the same to me (Fuck you) (Fuck you) (Fuck you) You pull me dow
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma ." And they say blondes are dumb... ----------------------------------------------------- A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you..." ----------------------------------------------------- "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied. ----------------------------------------------------- Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor ------------------------------------------
Me when I'm driving:
Body: 1) 94% of men lie about their penis size. According to condom manufacturers, only 6% of men need to use extra large condoms. 2) The average man is 4-5 inches long when erect; no matter what you have heard ladies, that's the truth. Incidentally the average vaginal capactity is only 6 inches, for you women who think you can handle king dong. 3) 80% of American men are circumsized, though Pediatrics say it is not necessary. 4) No matter what all the ads say nothing but time can make your penis grow. (most men reach the end of their growth by the early 20's) 5) There is no correlation between penis size and shoe size, hand size, or nose size. 6) Blue balls does exist! It's technically called "prostatic congestion." 7) Only 16% of men shave their privates. - THiNGS MEN MiGHT WANT TO KNOW - 1) Only 9% of women around the globe consider themselves "attractive" (20% of British women do). 43% of women use the term "natural", 24% say they have "average" looks, 8% p
So I got into a slight argument in the mumms, with two people who just jumped my ass for making a comment on some bad spelling. The poster of said mumm mentioned it once but he saw that I dropped it; however, what bothered me the most is they were putting words in my mouth, that I had not said. I even stated I'm not the best at spelling and grammar like many of you know, but yet he did some small things that just stood out like a sore thumb. I then in turn get accused of them claiming that I was saying, "I'm perfect and better then other people," hell I feel like I'm more of a humanitarian then most of the people in the mumms. Okay that sounded egotistical, but that's a rare fluke. Seriously though, people take a lot of stuff too seriously, the poster in that mumm was the most professional about it, by ignoring it and I would like to thank him for the fact that he ignored it and didn't give a damn about what was said against him.
....... This is hilarious!!! Remember this the next time you need to return something and they are giving you a hard time!!!!!!! A woman went to a WalMart service counter and told the clerk she wanted a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work The clerk told her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special. Suddenly, the woman threw her arms up in the air and started screaming, "PINCH MY NIPPLES, PINCH MY NIPPLES, PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!!!!" The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager in front of a growing crowd of customers. The manager comes to the woman and asks,"Ma'am what's wrong?" She explains the problem with the toaster, and he also tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special. Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and screams, "PINCH MY NIPPLES, PINCH MY NIPPLES,
Ha Ha Ha
So. . .I'm totally thrilled because the department next to mine is running this Harry Potter promotion thing and as part of it they have posted gargoyles at each entrence. Beneath these gargoyles are the words "Abandon all Hope Ye who enter here" All I can think whenever I walk past is what great workplace morale that cultivates. Maybe not for them but I admit I burst out laughing every time I seee one. Its becoming a problem
i'm a little forgive any typos now( tho i'll try not to make any)...i went to the bar with some friends as an early 4th celebration hehehe get home and i see that i'm loved by people i'm not even sure that i know...its awesome...and then of course i'm loved by those i do know who u are!...ur fucking awesome!... lets just say i dont get drunk often enough lmao...i wish i could...i should..i might... so i just thought i'd throw a little something something in here... ♥♥♥♥
11 Reasons People Think Gay Marriage is Wrong 1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning. 2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall. 3) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans. 4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal. 5) Straight marriage would be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed. 6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and
Todays Horoscope...(how'd it know?) If something goes wrong, you don't have to be the first to admit that you're at fault. Why? Because outside circumstances had a hand in this, too -- and given time to stew, this thing may not be so 'wrong' after all.
My Horoscope for today, The nearer your destination, the less sure you are that you actually want to arrive. Hey, that's normal. Sometimes the fear of success is a lot stronger than the fear of failure. The goal will be worth it eventually.
Ha Ha! When Pigs Fly. . . . .
Mayor urges Parisians to be more polite Mayor Bertrand Delanoe launched the first Paris Tourist Day Monday Campaign aims to help Parisians improve habits when dealing with foreigners. Tourists urged to try French products, experience Parisian lifestyle PARIS, France (AP) -- Their city is the world's No. 1 tourist destination, yet Parisians sometimes seem downright grumpy about it. On Monday, city officials set out to change that, urging cab drivers to smile and telling waiters to try out their English. Tourists, too, were given tips like "try out French products" instead of heading to the first Starbucks in search of friendly service. As Mayor Bertrand Delanoe launched the first Paris Tourist Day on the sprawling Trocadero Plaza across the Seine from the Eiffel Tower, the response from passers-by was predictable: Parisians said their rude reputation was exaggerated. Visitors disagreed. Paul Roll, director of the Paris Tourism Office, conceded that the French capital
Ha Ha
Ok, I bet you thought that with me being the smart ass that I am that I was gonna post a pic with shit on it. way....yeah I'm a smart ass but ew! I'm gonna disappear for a bit. I'll be on to work on my trackz a bit and check messages, but I'm going off of all of my sites for a while. At least the music won't break my heart. I'm gonna take some time to get hard again cause I've let my heart and mind go soft and it's dangerous when that happens. I'll be back when ever...good as new.
1. Ever punch someone in the face? no, I am not violent...unless I gotta stab someone ;) 2. How old are you? 20 something >.> 3. Are you mostly single or mostly taken? Mostly single 4. Eat with your hands or utensils? do I look like a caveman? 5. Do you dream at night? no, not at fucking all! 6. Ever seen a corpse? mhmm 7. Have you ever wished someone dead? mhmm 8. Do You Like Bush, the president? he's just too dumb! can we impeach him, please? Now the intrusive fun part ... ... ... 9. Sum up your philosophy on life? and death? umm, live and then die? lol 10. If you could do anything with u, and have no one know about it, what would it be? O_o 11. Do you trust the police? hmmm, sure...but I do not like them :P 12. Do you like country music? SOME...mostly Shania ^_^ 13. What is your fondest memory ? oh plzzzzzzzzzzzzz 14. If you could change anything about yourself what would it be? I would make myself hot 15. W
95 questions, fill out and repost. Favorite 1. gum: bubble yummyy lol 2. restaurant: bill's kitchen 3. drink: soda >.> 4. season: fall 5. type of weather: raing and dark 6. type of emotion: happy 8. late-night activity: none lol 9. sport: none 10. city: mine >> 11. store: ugh When was the last time you- 12. cried: next summer i will...i swear! 13. played a sport: me? active? lol 14. laughed: last question was hysterical! ;) 15. hugged someone: eww 16. kissed someone: eww 17. felt depressed: hmmmmmmmmm 18. felt overworked: never haha 19. felt sick: hmmmm What was the last- 20. word you said: hmm 21. thing you ate: food 22. song you listened to: lilly allennnnn 23. last thing you drank: soda 24. place you went to: hell 25. movie you saw: hmmmmm 26. movie you rented: hmmm 27. movie you went to: ur mom Have you ever- 40. danced in the rain: no 41. kissed someone: yup 42. done drugs: yessssss 43. smoked: yea...3 different things ^_^ 44. partied 'ti
*ABOUT YOUUU. Full Name: Bill >.> Birthday: sept 26th Birthplace: springfield XD (where basketball was invented) lol Eye Color: bluuuue. Hair Color: blond. Height: 5'9 Weight: 2 tons (4,000 lbs.) lol Right handed or Left handed? lefttt . Your Heritage: french, english My Worst Habit: biting nails Zodiac Sign: libraaa Shoe Size: 10 or 11 Pants Size: lol Innie or Outie? innie. Parents Still Together? nope The Shoes You Wore Today: noneeee Your Weakness: junk food lol Your Fears: spiders and snakesssss. Your Perfect Pizza: hawaiinnnnnnn Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: die Your Most Overused Phrase On An Instant Messenger: "LOL" Thoughts First Waking Up: die bill...DIE Your Best Physical Feature: none Your Bedtime: whenever. Your Most Missed Memory: none .> What Is The Best Feeling In The World? oral sex Worst Feeling? anal sex, LOL!! Where Do You Want To Live When You Grow Up? hell
50 Questions... 1. So, what did you do all day?: the telly lmao 2. What is the most expensive thing you've bought recently? a new vacuum >.> 3. Last concert (or show) you attended: never, but I watch the Concert for Diana :( 4. Coolest thing you've gotten in the mail lately: bills...FUN! 5. Discribe your favorite artical of clothing: clothes 6. Last video game played: hmm...medal of honor 7. How many CDs do you have by any ONE artist or group?: all in comp ^_^ 8. What's for dinner?: shmizza 9. Do you have any collections?: mhm....dust! 10. What was the last board game you played?: monop 11. Who won?: nobody ever finishes it wiv moi :( 12. Do you subscribe to any magazines? I think I get Stuff lol 13. Last movie you saw at a theater: WEDDING SINGER lol its been like 9 years :P 14. Last movie you watched at home: pans god damn labyrinth 15. Do you have any special traditions only you or your family does? noo 16. What was
1. WHATS YOUR BROTHERS NAME? Derek lol 2. WHAT WERE YOU DOING 10 MINUTES AGO? watching Seinfeld >.> 3. IF YOU WERE A COLOR, WHAT WOULD YOU BE? black:-O 4. MTV, BET, OR VH1? VH1 5. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE RIGHT NOW, WHERE WOULD IT BE? in a box in the ground :) 6. NAME A PERSON(S) THAT STARTS WITH THE LETTER "R"? retard 7. WHERE..s possible! but I hope not :( 32.WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU GOT MAD AT? hmm........... 33.WHAT DO YOU HEAR AT THIS VERY MOMENT? T.V. THIS UPCOMING SUMMER... 1) Are you going anywhere for vacation? no 2) Are you seeing anyone special? no 3) Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? no 4) Do you have a pool? no 5) Do you like the summer? nooooooooooooooo 6) Have you ever been on a jet ski? I think I tried once longggggggg ago 7) Do you want a summer romance? no 8) Are you going to go fishing? no...but I would lol 9) Do you like fireworks? not when ppl have them go off at all hours of the night!
All about me! Marital Status] singleeee [Shoe size] 10 or 11 [Parents still togethe) no..thank god! cuz one would be dead now lol [Siblings] 4 [Pets] tralala FAVORITES [Color] red, black [Number] 69 [Animal] doggggg [Drinks] rum or vodkaaaaaa [Soda] coke [Book] none [Flower] no DO YOU [Color your hair?] no [Twirl your hair?] no [Have tattoos?] no [Have Piercings?] no [Cheat on tests/homework?] DID [Drink/Smoke?] sometimes to both lol [Like roller coasters?] NOOOOOOO [Wish you could live somewhere else?] hmm maybe [Want more piercings?] NO >.> [Like cleaning?] sometimes lol if i havbe energy haha [Write in cursive or print?] mixture hah [Own a web cam?] MAYBE haha i only do pre-recorded performances lol [Own a cell phone?] nooo [Ever get off the damn computer?] lol noooo i am an addict HAVE U EVER [Been in a fist fight?] NO [Considered a life of crime?] tralalaaaaaa [Considered being a hooker?] I AM! [Lied to someone?] yes [Been in love?] no [Ma
Ha Ha
What women would do if they had a penis for a day 10. Get ahead faster in corporate America. 9. Get a blow job. 8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat. 7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal. 6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently. 5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm. 4. Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem. 3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks. 2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement. 1. Repeat number 9...
Haha Hats Again
i walked into this store and made a comment about godam couch hats to the like 16 yr old girl who worked at the place who obviously didnt think it was as funny as i did ( i hate scene kids) anyways after that got super awkward i told her, her hats sucked bawlz and tried another couple places which had the same dirty stacks of hats finally i hit up a place called rock universe with a cute girl workin the cash haha so i finally find a non retarded hat and its like 19.99 $ so i go to the cash and shes all like ooooh are u using debit or cash and i was like ooooh depends on how much it comes to and then shes all like oooh just gimme 10 bucks and were even.... 10 bucks shit yea so then i end up havin a smoke with her and im goin to a freakin bar star with her tonight god my life is awsome anyways i got a sick hat for cheap and i met a cute girl too bad i move in 10 days .......
A boy decided to have a dinner with his girlfriend parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the
Haha My Grams.
Grandma: That sound sounds like a priest giving mass in Italian. Me: It means that someone is rating my photo. .... few hours later .... Grandma: So every time that sound comes on someone is complimenting you? Me: Sorta.. they are saying they like my picture. Grandma: What do they say... WOW! There's another one! Me: *sifts through some and reads 'nice' comments* Her: You get an awful lot of compliments! What was that one just now!! Haha... grandma's are so cute...
nick somers -- [noun]:A perma-orgasm 'How will you be defined in the sexual dictionary?' at
Ha Ha
This saturday i went and saw ozzfest i will never forget it i had so much fun.
this is all very new to me i have no clue what the hell im doing
Take that Sam Lam! I *am* Asian!
Haha Classic
To make it stand, you wet it To make it wet, you suck it To make it stiff, you lick it To get it in, you push it Damn!! Threading a needle is hard work
Ha Ha
1) I NEED TO TELL YOU A SECRET (LO0K AT #5) 2) THE ANSWER IS (L0OK AT #11) 3) D0NT GET MAD (L0OK AT #15) 4) CALM DOWN DONT BE PISSED ( L0OK AT #13) 5) FIRST (L0OK AT #2) 6) D0NT BE THAT MAD (L0OK AT #12) 7) I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT I LOVE YOU! 8) WHAT I WANTED TO TELL YOU IS...(THE ANSWER IS ON #14) 9) BE PATIENT (L0OK AT #4) 10) THIS IS THE LAST TIME IMMA DO THIS (L0OK AT #7) 11) IM NOT MAD WHEN IM SAYIN THIS (L0OK AT#6) 12) S0RRY (L0OK AT #8) 13) D0NT BE GETTIN ALL HYPE (L0OK AT #10) 14) I D0NT KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS (L0OK AT #3) 15) YOU MUST BE REALLY PISSED OFF (L0OK AT NUMBER #9) now you must send this to people you love!!!!and especially the one who sent it to have FUN!!!
Haha..gotta Love The Walmart Greeters!!
>> >A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Wal-Mart >> >with >> >her >> >two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. >> > >> >The Wal-Mart Greeter said pleasantly "Good morning, and welcome to >> > >Wal-Mart. >> >Nice children you have there. Are they twins?" >> > >> >The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no they >> >ain't." >> > >> >"The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you >> >think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?" >> > >> >"I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am," replied the greeter. "I just >> > >couldn't >> >believe you got laid twice." >> > >> >"Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart
i may be fast, i may be quick, all these nasty girl want to suck my dick.... i may be slow..... i may be hard if u want me u have to show me ur card "ID" lol if u dont u can forget about talkin just turn around and keep walkin.....if that makes u sad, well thats just to bad...ur sister of 24 i may of already had lol.... peace out.
Ha Ha Aint That Some Crap
Daily Horoscope: Taurus For July 28,2007 A loved one urged you to take a risk, but now that you're ready to step up to the plate, he or she gets a case of cold feet. Don't let that stop you. Once you've set your mind on something, you're determined to go all the way.
I love how I get blamed for bringing up drama when I was discussing how the trickle down law would relate to military issues, and how the soldiers are not to blame when they have to kill someone of any age, and a person takes that as a personal attack and then attacks me to a friend in their shoutbox original cristilee: her: sorry your mumm is trying to be turned into a topic of the war.. bats or ju know is doing that to attempt to get at me..have a good day good mumm afterwards her: whats done is done bats you can leave my dhoutbox now.. i dont bother with people who love drama and the bs it brings.. have a great nite ->me: i followed up the situation when cowboy asked about it and if you saw it was in relivance, because it's the trickle down law, but whatever you think i have my own personal agenda go ahead and think it her: hmmm funny seems like your brought that up out of the blue, wonder why, it had no releavnace to the topic at hand and you always did like to feed fire
Hahahaha Your Fuc***
HAHAHAHA My ex husband just called me and got an income with holding letter from our local friend of the court!!!! He owes almost $60,000 in back support that he owes me and they have slapped him w/an income withholding order for $2300 a month HAHAHAHAHA fucker your fucked and ya think gettin a lawyer is goin to save your ass????? hahahahaha again
Ha Ha Room 4 For Ya
Funny Myspace Comments
Haha Lmfao Very Funny Joke Must Have Open Mind Enjoy Cherry Gang Cheers.............
"She whispered "will it hurt me?"08-01-07..5:40pm "Of course not" answered he "It's a very simple process, You can rely on me." She said "I'm very frightened, I've not had this before. My friend has had it five times And said it can be sore." It was growing rather painful Tears formed in her eyes It was hurting quite a bit now It must have been a size. "Calm yourself" he whispered "His face filled with a grin "Try and open wider So I can get it in." "It's coming now" he whispered "I know" she cried in bliss Feeling it deep within her now She said "I am glad I'm having this." And with a final effort She gave a frightened shout He gripped it in anguish And quickly pulled it out. She lay back quite contended Sighed and gave a smile She said "I'm glad I came now You made it worth my while." Now if you read this carefully The dentist you will find Is not what you imagined It's just your dirty mind!!" HAHA LMFAO P
Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat." Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old." "Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?" "No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own fucking business!!" LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little BILLY. He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking." Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
Haha Funny
Gemini You are a master flirt. You know just how to pick up hotties, but it is usually just a one night stand because you are out to have fun. You like sex to be fun. You are not afraid to spice it up with some sex toys, blindfolds and food. Your ideal partner would be open minded, and into having fun too. Sex matches: Libra, Aquarius Take this quiz at
Haha So Gay But Imma Post It Because Its Gay (06')
Happy B-Day ShawnAdd to My Profile | More Videos
Hahaha click on this its funny
Hahahahahahaha So Funny !!!
I just called my best mate Claire and her four year old daughter answered the phone. I said hi babe its Auntie Dani how are you and she responds ... good ... my daddy thinks you're weird. hahahahahahahahahha !!! and I had to bite my tongue because I almost said, thats ok honey, Auntie Dani thinks your daddy is weird too. I dont talk to Shaun anymore. we were very close friends before but we had a falling out after Claire and him broke up earlier in the year. When we were all friends, I would stay up all night till sunrise talking to him, we actually shared a lot of personal things with each other. I kissed him too, with Claire's consent of course !!! they were in a sort of open relationship and well the first time I kissed her and then I kissed him and yeh lol we did other 'stuff' as well ... another time she goes to me, kiss him and tell me how bad a kisser he is, so I got one layed on me (we were drunk again) and the last time he tried to take things too far one night when we were
Hahaha Gatta Read
This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart. Girls -- Please have a sense of humor! I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next
cleerline: Come monday I'm sending your malware to the various antivirus vendors and then I'm calling the cops. I'm not sure if computer damage is a federal crime so i will either be informing the FBI or finding out which city you live in and informing the local police what??? cleerline: Its taken me 4 hours to clean my PC. Now fuck off dood, I gave you the passwords cleerline: So why was my PC complete fucked it shouldn't have been what was goin on? cleerline: After I logged in it just froze cleerline: And kept doing that dood, all ya had to do was delete the file cleerline: I did Then that shoulda been it cleerline: How was it started each time I logged on? cleerline: You must have altered the registry cleerline: What is the key? lol. it was just set to run on startup cleerline: Yes. But HOW vb code kinda like how
Haha Board And Tired...long Day
well wat a day... haha i pull'd the alternaor outta my brother mud truck put a new one in... pulled the exhaust... and now workin on pullen the tranny... gotta buy a new one friday and put that in ... ugh mud trucks they are fun to beat the hell outta but they suck to fix!! ya now im just sittin beat tired and board... nothing to do so i thought i'd do this!! haha... ya well not much else to say so ttyl =] byes
Ha Ha
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
apparently i wrote a mumm today about people and thier need to be "cool" on the internet, and apparently it offended alot of people even though it wasn't aimed at anyone specific, and apparently Fubar wanted to delete it. Why delete it? cause it was the truth? cause all the people who just had to comment on it, were the ones i was talking about? amazing, i can get spammed with 8 billion lounge invites but if i say one thing about it, it's the end of the world, it kills me. there's nothing wrong with bieng on the net, but when it becomes worse than highschool drama, maybe it's time to go get some fresh air.
Ha Ha
A cat falls in a pool A rooster laughs Moral of the story is: A wet pussy makes a cock feel good.
Hahahaha, Idiot
Some idiot tried to call me out...we had a pleasant little SB convo...sorry I missed the beginning of it. First person I've had a discussion like this with, so I thought I'd share. He was trying to stick up for someone who posted a "lime pepsi vs summer pepsi" bullshit non-mumm. As always, bottom to top ->The Mogul: Oh, I'm not into gay porn...thanks The Mogul: peace The Mogul: keep bein an unhappy lil man... I've got money to make, keep workin for guys like me fool The Mogul: right... and that's why you're you, and that's why I'm me ->The Mogul: fuck yeah. I beat that little bastard with a tire iron. little fucking thing The Mogul: Im sure you smack your dog around too The Mogul: beatin up on the weak and young isn't? ->The Mogul: only in your own feeble little mind The Mogul: so now you're stupid too The Mogul: any manchild that derives fun from being a mumm nazi should be ->The Mogul: I'm not embarrased The Mogul: lol right The Mogul: givin you a taste of your own m
Haha! Thats Too Funny!
Haha Dude Is Psycho
Hahaha Uhmm Ok
Hahahhahahahha Who Am I? ( This Is The Last One For The Day, Enjoy My Friends,)
One Monday morning the mailman is driving the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles. "Wow. Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night," the mailman comments. Bob, in obvious pain, replies "Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. Hell, we all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I?" The mailman thinks a moment and says, "How do you play WHO AM I?" "Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and only our 'privates' showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is." The
I think I'm scaring my coworkers. I've got my Kittie CD in and Morgan is growling and screaming like crazy. Everyone is staring at me. I'll be damned if I take it out. :D
Hahaha Represent New Jersey!
FINALLY New Jersey gets credit...HAHAHAAHA
Hahahaha Imma Beast!
man i'm back on tha bulletin what i call in tha booth so test me and son will speak tha truth off tha top of my head if u willin to break bread den imma do tha same it ain't nothin fa tha chossen child to start flowin when i'm glowin in my spotlight showin all my words never fallin of tha curb u better respest me if u want respect back its a dot cizzile always ready to come back and attack u wit ur dick in tha booty spin around & touch ur toes ass face me and my dawgs runnin and takin over ur shit like tha louisisana purchase don't fuck wit me if u don't want ur feelins or emoitions hurt layin down in tha dirt wit dat fresh tee boy u got problems leve it up to me imma stop ur heart and ur breathin when u cheiffin on some of my weedin when u thinkin damn dis shit is good fuck around wit my family or my team u'll be seein u darkess fears smeared out all in tha field imma just be real fuck all dat what u talkin bout and what ya lookin at u see me in dat all black charger wit dem all black
Hahahaha Whatev Mate
so...ive been on this site for less than a week...probably around...3-4 days yeah...and ive already come to the conclusion that most people here...are just utterly completely full of shit lol...its not even enough to make me angry, it just makes me laugh cause its so bloody retarded that people are so fake and complete wankers...i feel bad for most people in this place but what can ya do...such is the way of the world these days, that most people are afraid to be who they actually are and are more worried about attention that self respect lol...cheers to you all, my little wankers
Ha Ha Ha....
Why Can't I Own a Canadian? October 2002 Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative: Dear Dr. Laura: Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them: When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates
Ha Ha Ha Haha
well he blocked me before I could call him a fuck boy LMAO......BTW this is the dude that got jealous over Greg ->Lexi&heart...: Im far from a lilgirl htiǻ...: holla at ya trick ->Lexi&heart...: well whatever makes you feeel better htiǻ...: lol me grow up lil girl plz htiǻ...: maybe if u had of talk to me instead of ignorin my calls u would have gotten to kno me ->Lexi&heart...: been there done that, grew up ->Lexi&heart...: nah I know your type, aint nuthin new, sweet talker htiǻ...: when u jus addmitted u was bullshit htiǻ...: how tha fuck was i playin when i was tryin to get u here ->Lexi&heart...: man whatever, I knew every thing you said was BS, trust me, I know ur type, I just played with you for a lil bit htiǻ...: ok wha i bullshit u about ->Lexi&heart...: ur a bullshitter, Im not stupid hun htiǻ...: ididnt get mad didnt really care ->Lexi&heart...: no, you got mad cos I wouldnt come see you htiǻ
Ha Ha
A rich man and a redneck were discussing what they gave their wives for their anniversaries. The rich man says, "I bought my wife a diamond necklace and a Mercedes Benz." The redneck asks, "Why did you buy her two gifts?" The rich man replies, "Well, in case she doesn't like the diamond necklace, she can drive her Mercedes Benz to take it back." The redneck acknowledges the rich man's answer, and then proceeds to tell him that he got his wife a pair of flip flops and a dildo. With a confused and intrigued look, the rich man asks, "Why did you buy her those gifts?!" The redneck replies, "Well, in case she doesn't like the flip flops, she can go fuck herself."
Ha Ha!!!! Stolen From A Friend
The Pussy Clone Back in the late 90's, a friend of mine, we'll call him "Wayne" for blog purposes, got a job inside of a sex shop in Central, New Jersey. The place sold videos, DVD's, Toys, you name it - they sold it. Wayne was about twenty-two years old at the time, and was young enough to accept the role of working during the overnight shift. Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on how you looked at it, Wayne was forced to work by himself, and sometimes he wouldn't see a customer for hours on end. So needless to say, he had a LOT of down time. That's where things got nasty. Wayne was a very curious man who enjoyed the raunchier side of life. But he was also notoriously cheap, and never seemed to have a dime to his name. That combination led to him, one evening, experimenting with an item he noticed on the sales floor. That item was called, "THE PUSSY CLONE." "THE PUSSY CLONE" was a prosthetic vagina that some men use as a poor substitute for the real thin
Ha Ha
please go help my girl jroxx
I love this, most know I sing random songs from time to time in the mumms, and this time around I acctually got a person yelling at me in my shoutbox for it. We have a reputation, For seducing little boys, For raping old age pensioners, And for stealing babies toys. We're the vermin of the universe, We're the cunts you'll never see, We're the dirty sons of bastards, We're Penguins RFC! Hoo-ah! that was the song this is the conversation that ensued.. ->Pydc Bats....: so either you are egotistical in thinking that that song was directed towards her, or she was, and then is too affraid of some person she will never meet, and won't defend herself, this is just too funny ->Pydc Bats....: and that song is not directed towards her, as it states we, not you, not her, we, and then has the team name at the end ->Pydc Bats....: because it's stupid to worry about drama, you mom states she's 44 she should know not to worry about drama and families will always hate whoever is leav
Haha Cyber Sex Gone Wrong..
So I was having cybersex the other day. It was pretty good I guess. Here it is: bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight? BritneySpears14: Aight. bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah. BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja. bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat. BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up. bloodninja: Me too baby. BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest. bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman. BritneySpears14: Hey... bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite. BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it. bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness. BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous. bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands. bloodninja: I steal yo soul a
well first of friends were always bitchin b/c ALL my pics are webcam ones so i finally got some digi cam ones..they are in my AsH.WeeE album..Check them out :) Ok now for the real reason of this blog..I was in bed sleeping till my phone rang at 2:30am. It was my mom saying she was with the first instinct was to freak out. I found out that the guy who was drivin my mom, aunt and uncle back to their place had a few beers and blew a red light..SOOOOOOO i had to go pick them up. YAY ME!...the cop was pretty sexy tho..He made me move buddys car to a parking lot so it wouldnt get towed...i couldnt reach the fuckin gas peddle and i couldnt find the thing to pull the seat ahead so i had to kinda lay down..Anyways the cop let all 4 of them go and i drove them all to my aunts house...the weird guy i dont know kept touching my arm saying how thankful he was that i came and got them..he said he was gunna give me a bag of APPLES...LMFAOOOO..a bag of apples?...what the fuckin he
everyone i was kicked out of a bar sat and almost arrested
I laugh at you.
Haha...i Love This One
Hell...explained scientifically The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well : Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic(absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at th
Hahaha Fat Chance
Bin Laden urges Americans to convert By LEE KEATH, Associated Press Writer 30 minutes ago Osama bin Laden appeared for the first time in three years in a videotape Friday released ahead of the sixth anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks, telling Americans they should convert to Islam if they want the war in Iraq to end. ABC News obtained a transcript of the videotape, which it said was 30 minutes long and appeared to have been recently made, since bin Laden refers to the Democratic congressional victory and to French President Nicolas Sarkozy, who was elected in May. In a short excerpt broadcast by Al-Jazeera television, bin Laden sits as he talks, wearing a white robe and turban and beige cloak. His trimmed beard is shorter than in his last video, in 2004, and is fully black apparently dyed, since in past videos it was mostly gray. Bin Laden makes no overt threats and does not directly call for attacks, according to the transcript posted on ABC's Web site. Instea
Some idiot tried to call me out...we had a pleasant little SB convo...sorry I missed the beginning of it. First person I've had a discussion like this with, so I thought I'd share. He was trying to stick up for someone who posted a "lime pepsi vs summer pepsi" bullshit non-mumm. As always, bottom to top ->The Mogul: Oh, I'm not into gay porn...thanks The Mogul: peace The Mogul: keep bein an unhappy lil man... I've got money to make, keep workin for guys like me fool The Mogul: right... and that's why you're you, and that's why I'm me ->The Mogul: fuck yeah. I beat that little bastard with a tire iron. little fucking thing The Mogul: Im sure you smack your dog around too The Mogul: beatin up on the weak and young isn't? ->The Mogul: only in your own feeble little mind The Mogul: so now you're stupid too The Mogul: any manchild that derives fun from being a mumm nazi should be ->The Mogul: I'm not embarrased The Mogul: lol right The Mogul: givin you a taste of your own m
Haha Mutha Fuckin Ha!
Haha!! Evil Junk Mail! Get Back At Them!! [evil Laugh]
Copied from mistrwayne-Fu-Bomber Andy Rooney's CBS Newsman Tricks of the trade and something to remember. Tips for Handling >>Telemarketers
Ha Ha Ha Stupid Fake Ass People
Haha It's Me
You Are Bisexual Girls or guys? You'll take either. Or both. You can't make up your mind. And why should you? What's Your Sexual Orientation?
Haha Kentucky Is The Best
Somebody from California apparently wrote the top part, but somebody from Louisiana came back and put them on their asses. Then the Kentuckian came along and ripped both Cali and Louisiana apart! GO KENTUCKY!!! IN CALIFORNIA: - I can wear sandals all year long - I go to the Beach - not "down to the shore" -Our chicks are WAYYYY hotter than yours. Well...Miami can hang. - I say "like" and "for sure" and "right on" and "dude" and "totally" and "peace out" and "chill" and "tight" and "bro" and I say them often - I know what real cheese & avocados taste like -Everyone smokes weed and its no big deal -We'll roll up 40 deep when something goes down. -I live next door to Mexicans, but we call them American's! -All the porn you watch is made here, cause we're better and thats how it is - I don't get snowdays off because theres only snow in Mammoth, Tahoe, Shasta, and Big Bear - I know 65 mph really means 100 - When someone cuts me off, they get the horn a
this guy was coming on too me an i told the fag to fuck off rated me a bunch of one...lmao Dariano- Taking a sabatical due to health issues@ fubar
Hahaha What Else Can I Say??
Jokes Wild - See Sony And I Dance@ fubar Jokes Wild - Sonny,Devil,Harley and I Square Dancing@ fubar
Ha Ha
Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return. Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, "The first one who can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me." The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says, "I love liver and cheese." "Oh, how childish," said the Poodle. "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever." She turns to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and says "How well can you do?" "Um. I HATE liver and cheese," blurts the Golden Retriever. "My, my," said the Poodle. "I guess it's hopeless.
CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?" "You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin." Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 am. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied. "Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!" "I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything." The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!" Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly, Peter, Peter, the something eater." ______
Funniest thing in life. I was just telling my office manager that me and my oldest sister are going to switch and be each other for Halloween. So she goes, "Oh she should have fun with that! She gets to be a rockstar, get drunk, and send people to Hell." I love that she described me like that. Funniest shit EVER.
So tell me how many people are you gonna smile at after you heard this cuz sex is like maths. ...u add the bed ..subtract the clothes ...divide the legs ...leave your solution ...and pray you dont multiply
Hahahaha!!!!'s Not Funny
xxolmecaxx@ fubar Another perve with unsolicited shoutbox idiocy to a friend. As with all shoutbox convos: bottom to top. *blocked* ->xxolmecaxx: I see you checking me out...I know you want me xxolmecaxx just checked you out! ->xxolmecaxx: don't be such a pussy. You too busy hitting up women you don't know with pervy comments to respond to someone who obviously wants to do things with you? xxolmecaxx: sorry ->xxolmecaxx: cum back hottie...I wanna see you shove a road cone up your ass ->xxolmecaxx: nono...come on baby, I wanna see you jizz in your face..cum in your eye for me hot stuff xxolmecaxx: heyy Im busy ok ->xxolmecaxx: oh...but you like to be watched? xxolmecaxx: no Im not gay and I dont interest on gays ->xxolmecaxx: thats gay? xxolmecaxx: I will xxolmecaxx: yes ->xxolmecaxx: will you eat your own cum for me? ->xxolmecaxx: no...I just like to watch guys masturbate and imagine it's me as I give them a reacharound as my shit-covered balls bounce
*A** ** SPANISH ** **Teacher** **was explaining to her * *Class** **that in Spanish, unlike English,* *nouns are designated as either* *masculine or feminine.** ** **"House"** **for instance,* *is feminine:** **"la casa."** ** **"Pencil,"** **however,* *is masculine:** **"el lapiz.."** ** **A student asked,* *"What gender is 'computer'?"** ** **Instead of giving the answer,* *the teacher split the class into two groups,* *male and female,and asked th em to decide* *for themselves whether"computer" * *should be** **a masculine or a feminine noun.** ** **Each group was asked** **to give four reasons* *for its recommendation.** ** **The men's group decided that* *"computer"* *should definitely be* *of the feminine gender** **("la comp utadora"),* *because:* *1. No one but their creator* *understands their internal logic;** ** **2. The native language* *they use to communicate* *with other computers is* *incomprehensible to everyone else;** ** **3. Even
When I went to brush my teeth this morning, I looked in the mirror and had to laugh. Last night I had all that crap around my eyes for that picture I took with my teddy and I still had it even after I scrubbed the crap out of it last night. Anywho, I used this coconut meltdown make up remover shit to take it off but I was in a hurry cause I wanted to take Luvy to school this morning. My face still smells of coconuts and it's driving me nuts. :D
HEY Hide header Date: Fri, 21 Sep 2007 10:13:54 -0700 From: Size: 1 KB To: Reply-To: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- IF YOU HAVEINT GOT GOOD COMENT KEEP OUT MY MUMMS
Tyrone asked his work buddy, Robert, one morning, "Man, why you always so damn happy when you come to work every day?" Robert replied, "That's because I make love to my wife every morning before work." Amazed, Tyrone asked him how he gets his wife to make love to him every morning. "That's easy," Robert said. "I just tell her this little poem that I made up. She loves it! It goes like this: Blond hair, blond hair, eyes so blue. I love waking up and making love to you!" Tyrone said, "Man, you white guys are so damn sentimental." But he decided it wouldn't hurt to give it a try. So he spent the rest of the day thinking of a poem for his wife. The next day Tyrone showed up to work just beat to hell; bruise eyes, broken nose, fat lip, the works!!! Robert asked, "Man, what happened to you?!" Tyrone said, "I don't know, man. I went home and tried your advice. I just told her a poem." Well, what poem did you tell her? Tyrone said: "Fat ass, Fat ass, eyes like a fro
Hahah,,,part Two Maybe Nsfw
SECOND TESTIMONY: I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls"
wtf i hate whining sore losers , call someone a cheater bc they r losing anyways fuck it i added anyone who request till i have reson to remove them futher more if u dont want bombin in a contest u host state that its sad my sis is deleting her account... i cant till the vip is over but im not lettin crybabies push me off here much love to my true friends
Haha How Sex Really Happens.. (this Is Fuckin Great!!)
This is how a kid explains sex... Little Johnny was 7 years old and like other boys his age rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about 'making out' from the older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his question to his mother, who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did. The following morning, Johnny described EVERYTHING to his mother. "Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging her. I figured 'Sis must be getting sick, because her face started looking funny. He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just the way the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as the doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart. I guess he was getting sick too, because p
Hahahaha! Lame!
One of the guys that works the floor just came in and wandered over to give me a hug and a kiss on the head like he does every morning. Today he goes, "Hey Sexy Mommy." LOL. Lamest thing I ever heard but it made me giggle. Not much has today.
Haha Heres Too A Few People :d
Haha I Love This Song... Its Me!!!
K this one is for me :D Most people may agree!!! Hahaha
.. I would do this...LOL Body: One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife "Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!! His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply could not let such a comment go unrewarded. The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. "What the Hell is this??" he said to himself as a little "dust" cloud appeared when he shook them out. He hollered to his wife, "Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear? She replied with a snicker..."It's not talcum powder...It's 'Miracle Grow'."
Haha.yeah Right
This is what my horoscope says for today: You are dancing to your own beat today and loving every minute of it! Now is a great time for you to explore new options and use your positive energy to make a real difference in your own life I wanna see myself dance today.I don't have the energy.But who knows,maybe after my workout,if I actually make it through my workout
Hahahhahahhhaa hit that up
Hahahahaahah 2
IM GETTIN RID OF ALL YOU FAKE BITCHES!!!! This is what i get for bein nice to every one of you CUNTS!!! Aggravation!!!! your all gettin fvckin DELETED!!!!!!!!!
Hahahahaahahaha 3
They gather in the full moons light On lonely roads at dead of night With shinning eyes that pierce the mists They prey on passing motorists Sure footed over rock and crag A victim fresh to feast they drag And all thats left when feedings through Is a baseball cap and a training shoe No wolf or hound will prowl the moors And ghosts and ghouls stay home indoors So when shrill screams disturb your sleep Beware the Cumberland killer sheep
Haha. One Bright Spot In My Work Day...
Not counting the ever amazing conversation with Ms. Evil, of course, but this was the best part about my work day so far. I just out-teched a database storage network system administrator.. Hell yeah. Goddamn that makes me feel really nerdy to say, but it's a nice feeling. Especially when it's one of those "D'oh!" fixes. :D Okay... lunch time. Call or text me if you want to, or rate my profile and pics and leave me love and whatnot. :D
if you dont want yor pictures looked at dont put them on here i dont look at them kinds of pictures people have respect for your self is that the only way you think you will get looked at it ant be your self try it you may like the nice comments you get insteed of dirty ones grow up
Haha, Silly Rabbit
A little rabbit is running happily through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at the giraffe and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come. Run with me through the forest! You'll feel so much better!" The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit. Then they come across an elephant doing coke. So the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come. Run with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!" The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and coke, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe. The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up. "Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come. Run with us through the beautiful forest and you'll feel so good!" The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and mauls the rabbit. The giraffe and elephant watch in horror and
hahaha i've found that i can put new pics up early in the am when few ppl are online and not many ppl even realize sneeky like that
Hahahaha Thats A Good One
Do me a favor people.. Dont ask me to buy you a blast, vip, happy hour, or ticker message. If I had the money to buy any of that I would but I dont. You havent seen my face up in the blast area in at least two months because thats how long its been since ive had one myself. I live on very little a week with myself and my two kids. I am a full time student too. Dont try to resort to bribery saying youll give me 11s if I buy you a 3 day blast. 10 or 11s they all give you the same amount of points. I appericate any help I get dont get me wrong and if I could I would buy blasts for people all the time. But im NOT in the postion that i can even buy a 1 day blast for myself.. That should tell you something. Any blasts i have ever had have been bought by wonderful and genarus people for me
what makes it even worse is that he had to bribe me to go out with him in the first place...
Ha Ha Ha Ha
Touch the Darkness @
Ha Ha Ha
He said.Shall we try a different position tonight? She said...That`s a good idea, you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
Hahahahaha Stupid Ppl
I just love how ppl talk shit and don't tell the whole story to others. Fuck fubar is like the game broken telephone. HAHAHAHA too fucking funny. Whateva I don't have time to fight with stupid ppl over stupid things. I just find it hilarious how ppl talk shit out their asses. PPL can say what they want bout me, really I don't give a fuck. I have some close friends on here and they know who I am so I don't care what other ppl think. In the last week I have been called a PIECE OF SHIT AND A BITCH LMFAO. I don't deny being a bitch cause hell I can be at times. One thing bout me is I'm a great person til you piss me off. But ya done ranting.
~ ♥ ~l$$$ mmm ~ ♥ ~@ fubar my sister wants an fu hubby any takers lol
Hahahaha! He Wishes!
OMFG! OK You all...LOL...I had to share this bullshit. There is this guy from the club named Kevin and he is a asshole. He treats women like dirt and scum. He has no respect for women whatsoever and I am too fucking good for him to touch me. I hate him!!!! Well....LOL...he asked me if him and I could fuck! LOL I told him he had to ask my Master. When I told him who my Master was. He kinda shut up. LOL Sorry I had to share! He is still talking to me...but he hasnt mentioned anything about fucking me. LOL. I kno Master wouldnt give that cunt permission to fuck his slave. Thats for damn sure! LOL Just had to share..... BOLO! ^..^
Ha Ha Ha Ha Omg
OMG!!! This shit is tooo funny, as soon as I posted aMuMM about the asshole ho hurt me, he called, no bullshit...I mean as soon as I hit the submit button he called, Im trippin out!! He dont have a computer so I know he didnt see it. But after a bit of beggin, I let his childishness go, because, God knows Im guilty of doin it myself. So I let him slide, this one time, I know he loves me, he's had a crush on me since middle school, so if this comes back to bite me in my ass, Im gonna go to jail, be cause I WILL fuck his ass up, he knows, and if he pulls the shit again, like I said, I will be locked up for attempted murder, because I will cut his ass up.....I guess we had a misunderstanding, but like I said, Im a spiteful bitch, so.......he better not play with me:P .....As always thanx for takin the time to read my shit! Love you all
Haha I Feel Better Now!!
i previously wrote about being leary about being at my ex's tonight but the one thing he hates more than short hair is jet black hair. a friend of mine came over and said just do it. and i did. personally its gonna take some getting used o i guess if i decide to keep it.. but i know he wont even look my way twice with it like this hahaha jokes on him if he had alterior motives!!!!
Haha... As I've Matured.. ;)
As I've Matured... I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in... I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses. I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think. I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. I've learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off. I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished. I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things. I've learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back. I've learned age is a very high price
I just realized that I may, quite possibly, listen to my music just a smidge too loudly. I was at my coworkers desk on the other side of the office while she showed me something and I heard my music screaming loud and clear. But the question is... Do I want to adjust the volume....?
Your sweetheart or spouse isn't telling you something that is bothering them or that they want to change. You may not be able to hear it directly, so read between the lines and do your best to get at it. so yeah... if anyone has anything to say... you better tell me straight out... cause im not good at reading between the lines...
Ha Ha
Born a Baptist Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But, all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic....And since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday. The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest. The Priest came to visit Bubba, and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass.....and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist, and raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic." Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into Bubba's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement. There stood Bu
Ha Ha
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check. Are my testicles black?" Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other. Then, she takes a close look and says, There's nothing wrong with them, Sir!" The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely...... A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k?
I know it's already been a long day for me when I sit here staring at a Kool Aid Burst trying to figure out how to open the damn thing. :D
Hahaha This Is Funny
A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of their first stops was the breeding bull exhibit. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "See He mated 50 times last year ... once-a-week." They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year." The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him." They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's ribs, said, that 's once-a-DAY. You could REALLY learn something from this one." The husband looked at he r and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow." NOTE: The husband's condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and t
You're in a fantastic mood and should get a message that, if anything, lifts you up even higher. Enjoy the burst of positive energy -- and see if you can use it to make a difference around the house. this should've been my scope for yesterday. but alas it was not. besides, it didn't have an ending... and my ending wasn't that cool.
Ha Ha Ha
Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. Many females use a date rape drug on the market called 'Beer.' The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large 'kegs'. Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women whom they would never normally be attracted. After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that 'something bad' occurred. At other times these unfort
HAHAHAHAHAHA, holy shit.....yea, this is pretty bad.....I'll delete it tomorrow like you said though..... hahaha Trice, you wanna know who's cock that really is? It's MINE.....and now you have seen it......HAHAHAHAHAHA.....okay, now I kinda feel gay....WTF? that will teach you to never put mayonnaise in the door handle of my car again...... see you for Christmas sand nigger.......gotta party hard again!!!! ~Mullet Man 2160~
Hahah Tickle Me Emo
Hahaha What An Idiot
This guy, told me in a shout that I should come over. I asked him why, and he responded with a "to cuddle with me and keep me warm". I asked him if he was cold and he said yes, so I suggested that he get a blanket and he went on to say, "okay, then you don't want to. Bye." I told him that the only guy I liked to cuddle with was my boyfriend, and besides the fact that he lives in Texas and I live in Minnesota. He goes, "Nope, you have an ass as a b/f. I don't like playing games so go to hell." I went, "What the hell? You don't even know him and I don't think I was playing a game.. you're just upset that you were denied by a taken girl." He goes, "I was angry at a bitch, which all she had to say is yes or no, cause if it was no, I wouldn't be talking to your ugly ass." Well what he said really makes no sense anyway, but I responded with a, "My 'ugly ass' huh? That's why you invited me over, right?" Haha man, I think he's retarded. I hope none of you guys out there act like that. For a
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, 'I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?' 'About 32,' is the reply. 'Nope! I'm exactly 50,' the woman says happily. A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question. The girl replies, 'I'd guess about 29.' The woman replies with a big smile, 'Nope, I'm 50.' Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question. The clerk responds, 'Oh, I'd say 30.' Again she proudly responds, 'I'm 50, but thank you!' While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question. He replies, 'Lady, I'm 78 a
Hahaha Think Before You Speak! :p
Think before you speak... Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak. The last one is great! Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... Or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did.... FIRST TESTIMONY: I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, 'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?' I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word... He knew better. SECOND TESTIMONY: I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with mens balls' THIRD TESTIMONY: My sister and I were at the mall and P
do you fuck like a superstar???? i do......
So I am emailing my FU GF Persia to try to not be so freaking bored today... I told her that I had two words to describe her: A HANDFUL... She replies: No I'm not. I dunno how many of you know her... but I am sure those of you who do will agree..lmao
Hahaha Sorry.. Another Pimpout
Ok.. I'm sorry I NEVER do this and now twice in 2 days 8-P .. but I really like both these guys.. and neither of them would ask for help for themselves. So if you have a little time could you go rate up my friend NikNak? And to my friends that rated BigDaddyDell thanks .. you rock! niknak02@ fubar Thanks in advance cuz I have fantabulous friends! hugz n stuffz
I love how people can be so judgemental. I posted a mumm about sex on a first date. And all i got back was "SLUT"... like i sleep around or something. If i was a slut, i wouldn't be going on 3 months without sex. I'd be going on MAYBE 3 days... but no. Yea, i've had sex on a first date before, and had a very successful relationship from it. It doesnt make me a slut. Whatever...
Haha More Of My Early Work
Political Standard" Just another parasite to build us Another governed eye to fuel us Stiff ass suit to bill us Another lie won't you please kill us ..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> You're just another crime to infect Another bid to erect Stiff ass mind to direct Another war won't you please affect Take these mortal minds, Set your pawns in a game All to old Accomplish the mold Of a torn nation One step towards the making Of a God Set thrust to your mortal bombs And set all controls for destruction Eliminate the threat Stay on Top It's a reaping song you've sought While the taste of blood Filters the gold in your glass The waking competition is drawn Speaking your past As a reflection of you Comes to retake the Kingdom Just another parasite to build us Another governed eye to fuel us Stiff ass suit to bill us Another lie won't
It's Wednesday and I have been busy today. I took my daughter to school and since Jeff was off work I went on to Wal-Mart for some shopping. I got the kids' gifts just about done...I just need a few more things. Now I have to tackle the wrapping~! Yesterday was an interesting day~! I said some things to my friends and got it all off my chest~! I have a clear conscience now. I just wish they would have listened to me. But it's their loss...not mine. They deserve each other....and that is all I am going to say. I don't talk about people behind their backs~ Does the calendar say December?? It is 73 degrees now at noon. I hope it gets cold before Christmas~! It is supposed to be cold this weekend though. Down to 45 on Saturday. I'll be sick next week....LOL well, it is lunch time so we are going to grab something. I like it when Jeff is off and at home during the day...I can relax some. And our son loves having Daddy around so he can get away with more. I hope
1. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it) 2. If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it) 3. A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (In my next life I want to be a pig) (How'd they figure this out, and why?) 4. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Still can't get over that pig thing) (Don't try this at home...maybe at work?) 5. Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?) (And pigs get 30-minute orgasms? Doesn't seem fair) 6. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmmmmm........) 7. Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do. (If you're ambidextrous do you split the difference?)
me and the shipping supervisor just made everyone laugh. i was walking past him to go into the next office to get some paperwork when he holds out his hand to me. i took and we ballroom danced for like 1 minute before we broke into a salsa dance for another minute and then walked away from each other like nothing happened. I love this place sometimes. It's so... random! LOL!
Meds 'Made Him Gay' by Newscenter Staff Posted: December 10, 2007 - 1:00 pm ET (Paris) A French civil servant who claims he was turned gay by his Parkinson's medication has won a lawsuit against against a distributor of drugs containing dopamine. Didier Jambart is seeking about a half-million dollars in compensation. His lawsuit claimed that he was not told the medication could lead to compulsive behavior. He claimed that after taking the drugs he developed "homosexual urges" and spent hours searching for gay sex. He also claimed that he developed a gambling compulsion and even sold toys belonging to his two young sons to get money to place on horse races. Jambert said he began noticing the changes within a year of starting the meds. "As soon as we saw him we knew immediately it was dopamine agonists," Philippe Damier, head of the neurology department at the Nantes CHU hospital testified. Jambart was given different medication and his disorders dis
Ha Ha Such A Drunk...lmao
Take the Drink Quiz at!Make Your Own Quiz
Ha Haaaaaaaa F^cker's Im Back
That's right... i am back an im here to tell what happened one time and one time only. I was talking to a young lady on fubar and thought I was in love. We talked for a while and in doing so she said she owned her own house and her own company. She promised me a safe place to live and a job. It was all a pack of lies. when i got down here to tampa she had someone from another state call me and tell me she was in an accident, and she was sending someone to help me get in a motel till she got out of the hospital.They never showed. I was out on the streets with nothing and no one.. After 6 days of living on the street i got a place and then a job. However to add salt to an open wound her husband called and threatened to beat my ass for comming all the way down here to be with her. I laughed at him. I would have invited him to try, but it turns out this move to Tampa was the best thing fro me. I have a set of new friends a beautiful young lady that loves me unconditionally, and have actua
so u say u know me check yourself. dont think u can ready me cause it never going to happend. i let u belive u know me and can read me well wrong again cause i went and did it agian like i always do i switch it up on u. i don't give 2 flying fucks what u think. sometimes i feel bad other times i don't realy care. if i hurt u. iam who iamand if u cant handle or deal with me then u know where to go. iam not asking u to stick around walk away know if u don't like what u get from me cause news flash babe iam never going to changenever have and never will this is who i will always be. i may love u but i can still be kind mean to u at times and it may hurt when iam like that at times. but i hav my reson. that why the call me a cold hearted bitch at times. cause like i siad this is me ya one min iam makeing u happy then the next i could be dragging u throw the mud. sorry that just the way iam ate times aor iamsorry hahahahaha u can never tel with me.
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Forward / Add to your profile Funny MySpace Comments
That was real cute. I was rated a 1 & blocked today because I wouldn't give a guy my MSN or Yahoo screen names. Simply because I'm not in the mood to deal with a loser saying "plz cam2cam w/ me." Now, I'm not saying that he was one of those kinds of guys. But I wasn't about to risk it either. If you want to talk to me outside of fubar then you have to make conversation here first. I don't hold little 'auditions'. Nor do I think I am better than you. But I'm not about to have people on my list that I don't talk to. Or end up not liking. So, perhaps you need to get over yourself. So I didn't give you my MSN/Yahoo, so what? No reason to go and get pissy. While I'm at it: Don't tell me that you rated me such and such - I know. I can see that. Don't tell me to rate/comment/fan you - I check out everyone's page who does things for me. I read your profiles!!! If you don't have one, I can't rate you. I'll still check out your pictures, and I may rate some of them
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
So Just because I can I quit my job today!! I wonder how bad they want to keep me....... I hate Ford!! I'm a chevy girl all the way!! LOL I think its funny I love having the freedom to just say screw you........ Just had to say it!!
Ha Ha Ha This Is The Shit!!!!
Don't mistake this blog for perpetuating drama........I am in a sharing mood and think this is funny as all hell!! As you probably know, it's been Stang's Haters On Parade today and I am super afraid that I'm not afraid of clowns. Actually, I'm flattered and amazed that I've managed to infiltrate the minds of my haters today because they have blogged...and created...and even visited my Myspace trying to come up with something worthy...this is their latest effort....Thumbs up for the photoshopping....*Busts Out Laughing* I don't know about most thinking people but there is no way in all hell that I'd spend this amount of time on someone I claim to dislike........I'd damn sure not want them on my page in my images but that's me. Maybe the truth is they enjoy staring at my winning smile but just won't admit it....LOL. If they do enough of these, I'll create a slideshow............ha ha ha ha Maybe one day when I give a shit, I'll get upset but until then, I'll post th
Liquor manufacturers have accepted the Government's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may
Haha, Don't I Wish!!!!
Haha :)
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me." The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left breast and screams, then she pushes her elbow and screams in even more agony. She pushes her knee and screams; likewise she pushes her ankle and screams. Everywhere she touches makes her scream. The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead, are you? "Well, no" she says, "I'm actually a blonde." "I thought so," the doctor says. "Your finger is broken."
Haha This Is Great!
This is probably one of the greatest videos of all time! I couldn't post it in here cause the owner wouldn't let me. :( But here is the link for your enjoyment!!!
Hahaha For The Haters
Ha !! Ha !! Ha!!
Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75 story sky scraper. After a long day of meetings they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Bill said to Jim and Scott, let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories. "I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in the car!"
A WOMAN'S POEM: Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep, One who's handsome, smart and strong. One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks, One who'll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he's gainfully employed, When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed. Pulls out my chair and opens my door. Massages my back and begs to do more. Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?" I pray that this man will love me to no end, And always be my very best friend. A MAN'S POEM: I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac, with nice boobs and long legs, who owns a night club on the beach, and loves to send me fishing and partying. This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.
Haha Lol
Haha Look
Dj Wet Kitty U Do Not Want To Miss This !! We Are Waiting For You!! Kick ass tunes & great people
Haha No More Referral Cheating
Taken from the fubar bible: The referral link was previously disabled for fraud reasons, but has been enabled once again! For clarity, this means that both the invite link and the email invite process will both get you points! However, there is a catch: You will not get ALL the points right away. Why? Because we're smarter than that, and we know you gamers like to try and game us. So, we've come up with a solution: From the Bible: ( How does the Invite Bonus work? fubar rewards you by giving bonuses for when your friends join and use fubar - Up to 14,000 fuBucks and points per friend! Here's how it works: You will get 1,000 fuBucks and points when your friend joins You will get 1,000 fuBucks and points every day your invite uses fubar (up to 5 days; non-consecutive) You will get 8,000 fuBucks and points when he or she posts an approved salute! Remember, we're all about fair play, so if you cheat we WILL find you. Party
Some people are like slinkies, They don't really have a purpose, But they still bring a smile to your face When you push them down the stairs.
Haha- Dont Do Drugs
Ha Ha Ha
Three men - a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and a Texan are all working together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each on you one wish, which is three wishes in total", says the Genie. The Canadian says, "I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada." POOF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming. Osama was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, Palestine , Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians can come in our our precious land." POOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries. The Texan says, "I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 5,000 feet high, 5oo feet thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in or out; it's virtually impenetrable." The Texan sits down, cracks a beer, smiles, and s
Haha God Is Good
Alice Grayson was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church Ladies' Group in Tuscaloosa, but forgot to do it until the last minute. She remembered the morning of the bake sale and after rummaging through cabinets, found an angel food cake mix and quickly made it while drying her hair, dressing, and helping her son pack for Scout camp. When Alice took the cake from the oven, the center had dropped flat and the cake was horribly disfigured. She thought, "Oh dear, there is not time to bake another cake." This cake was important to Alice because she did so want to fit in at her new church and in her new community of friends. So, being inventive, she looked around the house for something to build up the center of the cake. Alice found it in the bathroom -- a cardboard roll from the toilet paper. She plunked it in and covered it with icing. Not only did the finished product look beautiful, it looked perfect. Before she left the house to drop the cake by the church and head f
Instructions...... Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird or random things, facts, or habits about yourself. At the end, you choose at least 5 people to be tagged, listing their names . Don't forget to leave a comment that says, "You're it!" on their profile and ask them to read your blog. You can't tag the person who tagged you. 1. I love my wife. 2. I love my kids and grandkids 3. I enjoy playing games. (cards,dominos,beer pong 4. I am fairly descent at throwing darts 5. I enjoy working on cars 6. I hate work 7. I like milk and cookies 8. I talk alot of bullshit 9. I smoke too much 10. I like to see people get drunk and have a good time eyes with 42 dd's 2.gray mare 3.angel by day broken wings by night 4.I'm a star 5.ashes
Haha Someone Is Using A Porn Stars Pics
ok i just called out a "woman" that has the pics of a porn star that is real big on the net the "woman's" name on here is GypsyGirl and she says its her pics that she has up i for one know better because ive been to said porn stars web page, and have seen the pics the"woman" is using the porn stars web page is and im sure if she finds out there will be a law suit thrown at the "woman" that is using her pics. tell me what you think.
Ha Ha .. Interesting
In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was not allowed to beat his wife with a stick thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb" ------------------------------------------- Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language. ------------------------------------------- The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone . ------------------------------------------- Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S . Treasury. ------------------------------------------- Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better. ------------------------------------------- Coca-Cola was originally green. ------------------------------------------- It is
Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!..i Am Back!!!1
Well a few weeks ago I posted a blog saying I was taking some time away from Fubar.Well I did that so I could get some things together so I couod move from akron ohio to MD to be with the love of my I am in Md and back on Fubar and ready to kick ASS!!! me some love ya all!!
Hahaha, Me Love Ya Longgg Timee
So just now a female genius of Fubar sort got all huffed up about the mumm comment I left her, so she called me a bitch, rated 1 ofcourse, and blocked. After that, she flooded my s/b with the following gems (I never seen a retard type to me before). Please note the spelling, the grammar, and the content. jalooo: you are all over the meddil eat fucking every guy for 100 $or less and by the way sice you traveled all place i think you retarded for what you think of arab by the way russian are hors i cant spill but my pussy cleaner then yours. middel east is where the girl in your countrey they go sale thim self to arab man
YOU'VE GOTTA LOVE DRUNK PEOPLE A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that?" asked his wife. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers. "Did you help him?" she asks. "No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!" "Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!" The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?" "Yes," comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband. "Yes, please!" comes
Three women had a very late night drinking. They left in the early morning hours and went home their separate ways. The next day, they all met and compared notes about who was drunker the night before. The first girl claims that she was the drunkest, saying, I drove straight home and walked into the house. As soon as I got through the door, I blew chunks. The second said, You think that was drunk? Hell, I got into my car and wrapped my car around the first tree I saw. I dont even have insurance! The third proclaimed, Damn, I was the drunkest by far. When I got home, I got into a big fight with my husband, knocked a candle over, and burned the whole house down! The room was silent for a moment. Then, the first girl spoke out again, Listen girls, I dont think you understand Chunks is my dog.
Hahaha This Is Funny
WHY YOU NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected: A half-gallon of 2% milk, A carton of eggs, A quart of orange juice, A head of romaine lettuce, A 2 lb. can of coffee, and A 1 lb. package of bacon As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single." I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status. Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: "Well, you know what, you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?" The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."
Hahaha Wtf Man!?
u know wat fuk all u mutha fukin hataz out der ima talk type spell n act tha way i want n u know wat if ur gona talk shyt atleast have all ur facts u dont know me n neva well dont lyke me get over it its tha fukin internet
This one is priceless....A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address!!!! An Alberta couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Calgary and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email to a wrong person!! Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives a
FAMOUS People Walk on Red Carpets CAUSE THEY FAMOUS & I MYSELF WALK ON TOILET PAPER cause I'm the Shit
Ha Ha Ha!
You Are 36% Sociopath From time to time, you may be a bit troubled and a bit too charming for your own good. It's likely that you're not a sociopath... just quite smart and a bit out of the mainstream! Are You A Sociopath?
Ha Ha Ha!!!
The person I wrote this for (well, wrote it BECAUSE of anyways) Just will NOT take no for an answer... Wants mt to program all this stuff to take other peopels accounts... Yahoo, AOL, MySpace, Fubar... You name it, and he askes me to do it... Along with key gens. for software... So, i figured I\'d throw this together, make it look real, and throw it all in a zip file and send it to him.... Maybe this way he\'ll take the hint that I\'m not interested in doing anything like that... even though I could... hahaha... This was all done in the spirit of fun, and to teach some lame-ass a lesson... If you feel you must commenton this, then please, feel free. ---------------------------------- ---------------------------------- Ok, so here\'s the Module for it... ---------------------------------- Option Explicit Private Declare Function GetDiskFreeSpace Lib \"kernel32\" Alias \"GetDiskFreeSpaceA\" (ByVal lpRootPathName As String, lpSectorsPerCluster As Long, lpBytesPerSector As Lon
Hahah They Thought They Ran Me Off
hahah fuktards.. u didnt run me off that easy... yes all my lovely friends.. i am here and im staying.. love u all and for u fuckers that thought u could get rid of me.. THINK AGAIN!! MSBADDAZZ IS HERE TO STAY!!! AND BADDER THAN EVER!!
Hahaha Thats True
There was a cucumber, a pickle, and a penis sitting around talking about how their lives sucked. The cucumber "Man, my life sucks. When I get big, fat, and juicy, they cut me up and stick me on a salad." The pickle looks at him and says, "You think you have it bad? When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick me in vinegar, put spices on me, and stick me in a jar. " The penis looks at him and says, "You think you have it rough? When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick a rubber strap on my head, stick me in a dark room, and bang my head against the wall until I throw up and pass out
Ha Ha! North-easterners Can't Get It Up!! Stressed Out And Pathetic.
New Census Data Shows Northeast Population Growth is Lagging By Bret Schulte Wed Mar 26, 7:57 PM ET The U.S. Census Bureau released some big news last week, namely that hurricane-ravaged St. Bernard Parish in Louisiana has transformed itself from the national leader in population loss to the national leader in population gain (as a percentage of its total population) as its denizens return and rebuild. The census numbers, which track population change at the county level from July 1, 2006, to July 1, 2007, don't all bear good news. While the West shows continued growth, the Midwest is struggling to keep up, especially in rural areas that don't attract, as demographers say, "domestic migrants," a.k.a. Americans in moving vans. But no region has flat-lined like the country's historical epicenter, the Northeast. Kenneth M. Johnson, a senior demographer at the Carsey Institute and author of more than 150 articles and reports on population trends, takes U.S. News behind the numbers
Hahaha.. Big Mistake!
Mike was going to be married to Karen so his father sat him down for a little chat. He said, "Mike, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants, handed them to your mother, and said, Here - try these on." She did and said, "These are too big. I can't wear them. "I replied, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will." Ever since that night, we have never had any problems. "Hmmm," said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, "Here - try these on." She tried them on and said, "These are too large. They don't fit me." Mike said, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. I don't want you to ever forget that." Then Karen took off her pants and handed them to Mike. She said, "Here- you try on mine." He did and said, "I can't get into your pants." Karen said, "Exactly. And if you don't change your smart-ass attitude, you nev
Ha Ha Ha ...
April Fools Day Graphic Comments
I just have to say that my exam today was the easiest exam I've ever had the pleasure to take. Had an hour to do it and lets just say I coulda done it four times over :P So now I just have to wait for my results
Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in Wal-Mart: 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares.. and watched what happened. 5. Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway. 6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' 9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked h
Ha Ha Ramble
beckoning for a lost cause Do you feel like i feel all lost causes and no fill Nothing to gain nothing to lose but the though of you Hidden rhym out of time and fading quickly Made a mistake ready to break and i ask you Chorus: Can you hear me? I am Calling out for air. Feeling empty. Can anybody console me? Lost deep in side this stare. Can you feel me? Am I not worthy? Does anybody care? Do you know what i know? how to take it slow Or are you gone with out a trace or coming back real soon Am i blind just this time of your motives Or can i break all these chains that bind me to you But the question this time is am i out of time or Chorus: Chorus and: am i of time? am i out of time? what can i do? i just want to make i through? oh yes am i out time? what can i do? just to make it through to you. I am calling Can you hear i am calling yes im calling out to you
Received this message a few moments ago.. Hello im anny,i would like to tell you more about myself as i am originally from san francisco,born of a swedish mum and an american dad,just before i met a guy online from an african country Nigeria,who made me feel he love me with all his heart,he promised showing me true love which i have been looking for all my life,he promised marrying me and making me the mother of his offspring,and payed for a flight ticket for me to come to Nigeria,when i got here,i found out that he is not what he says he is,he is married,and also on drug,i was dissapointed ...i am the only child of my parent,i lost my parent when i was 10 and i am alone in life,i am stuck here in Nigeria and don't know how to come back,am looking for a man who can help me out,get me there to you,but i need someone who likes my look and can also show me true love... i am a practising christian and i am honest and truthful,if you think you are capable of getting me back to the state
Hahaha Your Goin To Jail
and I'm getting a reward for it too. FUCK U tell your big gum whore to stop leaving me messages on yahoo in shit. they will lock your ass up and throw away the key. GOD your girlfriend is disgusting. and you call yourself the man...with what? looks like she got gonorehha in her mouth...and you too.fucking hicks.
Hahaha (i'm Amused)
longman.ny: wow w.e ->longman.ny: i dont give that info out longman.ny: dammm... can i add you to yahoo or msn? ->longman.ny: i'm at work longman.ny: are you busy would you like to cam with me sexy ?
watching spongebob and it is funny. I know its random but I like random.
Ha Ha!!! Stupid Treehuggers...
HA HA!! Stupid treehuggers... ============================ The reason plastic is awesome is that it's super durable, so it lasts forever, which is an issue when we want it to go away and take its place in the circle life. Biodegradable plastics aren't new, but in the past they've been pretty weak and expensive. Eco-geeks at the Missouri University of Science and Technology have come up with the anti-daywalker of plastic: All of its strengths, but it disintegrates in four months. They've got different plastic polymer cocktails depending on useone for water bottles, another for grocery sackswith varying bio-based fillers that'll break down easier. One possible filler is glycerol, which is a waste product of making biodiesel. Another is polylactic acid, which is made by fermenting starches, and breaks down in just 60 daysit's a possible candidate for water bottle plastics. The bio-based fillers in the polymers will make it cheaper than past biogradegradables, but still fairly st
Hahahah Awesome!
i copied and pasted this from Nyha! I loved it cuz this is exactly how i feel.. Thank God my man gets this about me! Look, I know you men have it difficult. Women are just about impossible to understand, much less please. In a post-feminist society, you never know exactly what you should be doing. Women are bloody picky, I know we are. It can be scary, too, when women freak out about what appear to be benign issues. And men who do their best to be respectful, female-positive humans, I salute you, I do. But please, please just fuck me already. Honestly, I appreciate your thoughtfulness. I like that you want to take things slow. I can totally get behind the idea of emotional connection, but dearjesusinheaven, FUCK ME. We've done dinner and drinks. We've gone dancing. We've cuddled and watched a movie. I'm wearing a low cut shirt and you've been staring at my breasts all night. Goodgodalmighty, get to it and fuck me. When we get hot and heavy, please take charge. Please, please f
I have a loud laugh. A really high pitched loud laugh. And yes that piece of information is pertinent. I was kinda listening to the librarian at the reference desk telling some person on the phone that a book hadn't been checked back in yet. Now I don't know if said person is a moron or what, but she goes, "Well harrassing us isn't going to make the book come back faster or suddenly appear, okay? Have a good day." I laughed. Out loud. Hard. It echoed. Good thing it takes a lot to embarrass me. lol
I got what I see my old friends...I feel soo loved and sooo happy....LIfe finally makes sense again...I just wanted to let everyone know IM HAPPY
Yup I'm right you just can't help yourself can you? How pathetic you are. Oh and thanx for taking the time to look through ALL my pics. Hahaha get a new hobby being jealous of me is getting old. ~* ~* ~*
Haha Classic

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