Ok so have you ever been so close to that someone you know you shouldnt be? But as much as your mind tells you to back off you cant help but be their best friend and be there for them no matter what. Some times things in life arent fair and it seems like everyone who should have no say in your life are trying to run it. And then you decide to turn and do your own thing knowing it may cause problems down the road. Yeah thats kinda where I am. I know I shouldnt be so close, shouldnt let him in the way I have but hes a great guy and a wonderful friend. I guess if any one has a problem with us being close they are just going to have to deal cuz Im not giving up my friendship with him no matter who likes it or who doesnt.
Have you ever had that one person who just makes your heart skip a beat and a smile appear on your face without even trying. Yet there are still things that keep your gaurd up cuz you are afraid somethings going to go wrong and you will once again be hurt. He has my heart I can honestly say that. But there are a few things that make me wonder if I really have his the way he says I do. Theres the best friend who has openly addmitted she wants him and even though he is with me she still calls him baby and all that shit. And then theres the random ex who just happens to show up at his new place only 24 hours after he moves in. Sometimes things tell me its too good to be true and theres no way I can really have it so good. But then theres other things that tell me I deserve this.
My friends dont understand what Im dealin with even though they try. I really cant tell anyone exactly whats going on in my head. And of course theres nobody who knows whats in my heart. But I dont know what to do or what to think. I have so many amazing people in my life. So many people trying to help me get on track for once. Yet there are lil things that just make me wonder if my life is ever gonna be the way I want it to be.
Ok so enough venting for now. If you dont know exactly what Im talkin about here just send me a pm and I may answer you or I may not.
