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Happily In Love's blog: "fuk it all"

created on 03/05/2008  |  http://fubar.com/fuk-it-all/b194768

to my stalker friend

You say Im the one with the pathetic life and so on yet you have been pretending to be my friend on here for who knows how long and for what reason? Do you think you are going to fuck my life up? Cuz if you do you are wrong! At first you annoyed me, then you pissed me off, then you just straight up became a nobody...yet here you are still talkin shit, still tryin to fuck my life up. I dont know what I ever did to you to make you want to be such an ass but it doesnt matter cuz I really dont care. And go talk shit to my boyfriend all you want, hes not going to listen to your bullshit, he already knew of you before he got a sight. You know nothing of me so keep talkin shit and makin yourself look even worse cuz its only makin me laugh.

the bitch

Things were finally starting to straighten themselves out. My life was falling into order, or at least I thought it was. For once I have a good boyfriend who even though we have our issues is tryin to show me he really does care and Im not alone, my daughter is growin to be a beautiful lil girl...just all about everything has been pretty good. Hell even my family has left me alone like I wanted them to...until tonight. She just couldnt respect my wishes and leave me alone...but than again why should that be a surprise, she neverhas respected my wishes. What does a person have to do in order to make a person understand they want nothing to do with them, that they are no longer important in even the slightess way??? I have ignored her, told her to go to hell, straight up told her to leave me alone...and many other things. Yet she still insist on fuckin things up, makin my life hell. When she refused to give me my daughters baby pictures I told her I wanted nothing more to do with her and she was no longer my mother in my mind. But no she still has to come along and start problems. I block her and ignore her phone calls so she uses my family to get me, tearing me away from them all. Now I have nothing to do with any of them, refuse to speak to them cuz of her....God how did I end up with such a dumb bitch in my life. Most people would realize after 14 years of being told they were unwanted in a persons life that they were really unwanted....I just want to give up. Happiness seems to be so impossible. Something always comes along and fucks it up

Stalker

Ok I know many are wondering why I am considering leaving fubar. Well here is the answer to all of your questions. "Congrats on getting knocked up again. you cant afford the one you got now youre trying to trap a guy that treats you like shit..get a job and make something of your life and work on your self esteem. what do you have to offer a man besides a piece of ass? Work on your self worth and get off your ass and be a mom to the daughter you have.If you spent as much time looking for a job and doing something with your life.not worried about the level your on or some dum ass website.Get a life you fat ugly bitch and quit youre whining and complaining..get some meds for depression.stop letting your life be dependent on others.Think about the ones close to you that you've let down and disappointed.Hope that babys daddy runs for the hills cause hes trapped now with your lame ass.dont know what to think cause you have no sense to face reality.Get off the web and get a life!" I seem to have a stalker on here. They left me alone for about two months but are now back to harassin me and talkin shit bout stuff they dont know. NO I am NOT pregnant. Yes I had a scare but mother nature has made sure to let me know I am not. I am happy with the way my life is going and my boyfriend does not treat me like shit. We all have our problems, whats a relationship without them. My boyfriend is doing everything he can to help improve our relationship and overcome our problems. I actually am online to look for a job during the day, and even though Im signed on doesnt mean Im at my computer. So yeah Im sick of the bullshit drama, I have enough of that in real life. I am still deciding whether I am leaving fubar for good or not...

Whats its matter??

Ok so yeah he fucked me over. But ya know I dont have anything to do with him now so get over the fact that what happened between us was fucked up. And yes I now talk to his wife, have actually become friends with her. Sure there are probably a lot of feelings on both sides that havent been said but at least we are adult enough not to fight all the time cuz he decided he wanted to be a dick. Yeah I still talk to my ex. And yes if he wants to hang out Im probably gonna do it. It doesnt matter to me what everyone else thinks. Its our lives if we want to continue to be friends we will. When we were together we had something truely special and just because we arent together any more doenst mean we dont care for each other. Im not tryin to take him from her and dont want to take him from her. He made his choice and thats all there is to it. And yes shit between me and my babys daddy are fucked up but ya know we are who we are and what happens happens. You know how I am and my feelings on everything if you cant handle that then I guess I dont need you as a friend. We have been through a lot together but Im done letting you get to me. I never thought I would wonder if caring about you was a mistake but you have definitely made me feel that way. You have been one of my most treasured friends for the last couple years. If you think you need to start tryin to run my life then well Im sorry but Im not having it. So in all honesty what does it matter to you what I do with my life. Im tryin to turn things around but its not easy when you got the shit going on that I do. You should have enough faith in me to believe I can do it and if you dont well then Im sorry but thats all there is to it. Im not gonna go out of my way to make you proud of me any more. If you or anyone else cant accept me for the way I am then I dont need you in my life The person who this is directed towards knows who they are but if you are reading this then you may know some shit thats going on. If you have any questions just hit me up

hurt

wow he swore hed never hurt me. yet right now i feel like my heart is being shredded into lil pieces. ya know it wouldnt have mattered much if it was him i heard it from...hell at least i would have heard from him. but no i hear from a friend that he went to his wifes house to see the baby...which fine hes spending time with his daughter thats great. but i still havent heard from him and well if hes there hes been there all day. and now his phone is shut off....he tells me not to worry that hes not going anywhere but what the hell am i supposed to think. right now all i can think is hes with her again...i dont want to beleive it i dont want it to be true but my mind and heart are telling me something just isnt right here. why the hell would he be with her all day and not get ahold of me at all. what is he hiding? every time i let a guy in i get hurt im so fucking sick of it. and then men wonder why im a bitch.....

Losing him

My heart is breaking Nights drag on forever Barely sleeping now Not knowing whats going on So many thoughts going through my head He tells me he loves me I believe he does But then I dont understand Why it seems things have changed Its still early in the relationship It shouldnt be like this already I love him more than ever Yet I fear theres something I dont know My heart is breaking And tears are starting to fall No longer can I hold it all in The fears I have Of losing him.

sick of it

Im doing my best to trust him. Tryin to believe the things hes telling me but its so hard. I have this feeling that something just isnt right. Hes changed....a lot and i dont know why. I didnt think I did anything wrong but maybe I did. All I know is I cant take much more of this. Its tearin me apart inside. Our ex's sure as hell arent making it any easier and I dont want to let go of him but Im sick of being so paranoid all the time with no way of really shutting it out. When we are together I believe its just me, that Im his only one but then something comes up and all that paranioa comes back...100 times stronger. I act happy around everyone cuz I dont want them to know Im really falling apart. Just incase it is just me over reacting I dont want them to hate him or think he did something wrong. Hes never really gave me a reason to doubt him but lately things just havent seemed the same. I really dont understand any of it and its not something I can really talk to him about when we are together in person and cuz of work its hard for us to get that time. All I want is to be his girl, his one and only. He made me feel special all the time when we first got together. Now I feel it when we are together...sometimes. I just dont know what to do anymore. Im so sick of doubting everything in my life.

dont understand

i just dont understand this shit anymore. i mean things were going great. maybe my mind has been working overtime and nothing is wrong at all but it defintiely seems like things arent the same. not since we got into it yesterday. its like i barely here from him and when i do it takes forever for him to respond...i mean like hours. i just dont understand it. how come everytime shit is going good for me something seems to happen and fuck it up. i know he tells me not to think like this but its so hard when ive been down this road so many times. im tryin to trust him and believe him but its so hard. i dont want to get hurt again but i am afraid thats exactly what is going to happen. and i know he can do that cuz well ive let myself fall for him. damn i just dont understand this shit anymore

items on here

if you have an issue with something i put up here dont just go say something to fubar shop turning it in as nsfw....you know maybe trying to talk to the person first would help. had a stash item reoved this morning...not sure which one cuz it doesnt tell you but someome said it was either offencive or nsfw. didnt think there was anything wrong with any of my stash. so if you feel it should be marked nsfw why dont you take a minute to send me a shout, let me know you feel theres soemthing wrog with it. i will take a minute to go check it out. no reason to be so imature about it

Family

I found out on Friday that my neice was born last month. Not sure exact date dont even know her name. My brother wasnt even the one who told me. I actually heard about it from an old friend who knew me back when I was in McGraw school...so before tenth grade. No one in my family could get ahold of me to let me know. They all fucking hid it from me and I dont understand why. I seriously never thought I would hate my brother so much. He used to be the one person I looked up to and was proud of. Hell I was even gonna a tattoo for him and my grandfather but that is no longer whats gonna happen. If he wants to shut me outta his family Im gonna shut him outta mine. My lil angel is almost two and hes never seen her and for all I care he never will. She will know about him but thats it cuz Im not gonna deal with him and sure3 as hell wont make her. Never thought Id see the day when I didnt want my brother part of my daughters life but its here. Hes pushed me too far finally. Little does he realize Im done getting walked on by everyone...including family. Im moving forward with my life with or without my family. And as far as Im concerned they all can go to hell. None of them but him and my aunt were ever really there for me anyways. And my aunt is still here for me. I just hope that as my lil one is growing up she has a better family behind her then I had/have. She will know the importance of family!!!
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