Midgit RIP TEDDY J's blog: "sleep?"

thats silly i got on around 4 or so and there was no movement and now the pervs are roaming like a giant colony of ants

i am really fucking tired of it.im up front with pretty much everything when i meet new people because ive been fucked over a lot.you know what ive found out? people are just going to keep fucking me over and making me feel like shit, and people are going to keep letting me down.im fucking sick of crying over jerks and im sick of crying period.i guess thats really all i will ever have in store for me, people who just want to hurt me and if thats the case then ill just be a fucking lone for the rest of my life.

this sucks i cant sleep

last night i couldnt sleep i stayed up all fucking night thinking about today. i slept a little but no real rest was had. i was sitting on the couch trying to fall asleep and i had this flashback i was frozen i couldnt move or say anything i was stuck remember this bullshit like it was happening all over again. when i snapped out of it i ran to the bathroom and cried i fucking hate memories and dreaming and all of these stupid things.dreaming and daydreaming and flashbacks all used to be so much fun to me it was my time to escap4e all the crap going on but now it just is there all the time and its not fun anymore

i went to bed around 12 and woke up around 320, i tried to go back to sleep but i couldnt so at 400 i went for a drive! one thing i like about being up so early is that driving is actually nice.it reminds me of when i used to go to apple valley and come back early in the morning and i get back and go to earls. i miss that so much i miss my earls family.it really sucks not to be able to go there during times like this when i cant sleep.when earls closed a big part of me died.i guess it was time for us to leave our safe place though,now everyones growing up.i would love to be asleep right now or at earls welcoming the sunrise with squinted eyes and a cup of coffee complete with a thick layer of earls grease followed by a drive to the beach before going to school hahah

they do ! each dream gets more intense than the one before it and increasingly more realistic.it fucking sucks

i flew last night in a dream i had for the first time in 7 years it was amazing and scary

i dont understand i was doing so well hadnt had a nightmare in a while and then the same two reoccuring dreams why do they keep coming back im so sick of it i want to forget those two event s and never even think of them but then i dream about them and its like i relive them the man with the deep sharp voice whithout a face ...and that guy from david from elementary school... i wish i could forget them so that i can feel better but it seems like i cant and it hurts really bad

so i had this crazy dream i saw drake and whn i saw him i got pissed and toook his keys and i took his car jesse was in the dream and we had a uhaul so i told him to follow me and so imade off with a 1964 dodge dart and drake was pissed and started crying and i laughed at him and said now you know ...what it feels like to be fucked over so dont fuck people over anymore ..then i had a dreamm we got our newfridge but it wasnt the one we ordered so i freaked out hahahah

my little scheiskopf wat a cutie i rolled over and opend my eyes and she was curled up staring at me smiling hahahah