Midgit RIP TEDDY J's blog: "old songs/writings hahaha"

my heart still bleeds my body still aches tears still fall but life goes on with out you i live it makes me sad to know your just like them you used to be sweet but now your just mean i used to care but now your nothing just as i was nothing to you

close your eyes as i fade don't watch me drift away laugh with me as the moon comes and the day fades to darkness cry with me as you sleep for tears shall not interrupt all the joy you'll have when you awake dance with me as the cool rain falls grin with me as you sin love with me as hatred spills embrace the lies and turn your pain into the beauty they'll never know make every kiss your first and last remember your future and never your past and notice me by your side even when you cant see me

hands feel the scars the eyes don't see they know so well the pain within me the tears fall freely as i embrace the cool cotton shell that is my comforter my only comfort in the whole world i toss and turn in the hopes that the sandman will bring me joy or nothing at all and when he takes me on my journey i wish there to be no return in sight as bright as the stars shine as blue as the light the moon cast on the weary i weep in silence for all the joy that has escaped me

http://solair.eunet.yu/~gamax/ read it. its a lot to take in but its great and you can find alot of his music on imeem

I thought the future held a perfect place for us That together we would learn to be the best that we could be In my naivety I ran I fell and lost my way Somehow I always end up falling over me And one day I woke to find The future had no place for me I was unwanted in a world that with my hands I helped build Where once was honesty and pride I now stand broken and alone Just a shadow of what I was meant to be They say that "Time will heal" "The truth shall set us free" Well that depends on what it is that you choose to believe In this prison made of lies We see what it is we want to see And find comfort in this broken hall of dreams Does anybody feel the way I do? Is there anybody out there? Are you hearing me? I believe in you Will you believe in me? Or am I alone in this hall of dreams? I believe in you You believe in me But I have no trust in anything Somehow I'm always always falling over me Somehow I'm always I'm always falling over me

Put your hand into my hand Put your head against my head Put your lips against my lips Put self consciousness aside No redemption No confessions No distractions No possessions Let your blood run through my veins Blade shall numb you from the pain No tomorrows Just submittance No remorse of self indulgence Just your body Just your body Just your body Just your body Just your body on my body Want your thoughts of me inside Let your hands run on my skin Let me be the one you need I shall be the one you feed All I am and all you see Is all I will and ever be Invigoration Angulation Mortal acts of indignation Put your lips against my lips Put self consciousness aside Invigoration Angulation Mortal acts of indignation Crave it all Know no other Crash your dreams and fall forever Show me no place you hide behind Only body soul entwined Let me be the one you need I shall be the one you feed All I am and all you feel All that will and ever be Invigoration Angulation Mortal acts of indignation Just your body on my body Want your thoughts of me inside No redemption No confessions No distractions Or possessions No tomorrows Just submittance No remorse of self indulgence Invigoration Angulation Mortal acts of indignation Mortal acts of VNV Nation

it beats as you betray.it mourns when thou are lost. it aches at the silence and quivers in the darkness. child like in so many ways it yearns for the calm collected freedom that is sheltered by the hand of love.we all perish when what we know.. becomes the unknown.agonizing are the depths of the dark uncharted nothings.the hatred not really hatred but fear.inevitably it shall come.coldness settles. brittle tears and crumbling hearts disintegrate

the lives that we share through friendship and .. life.. are just pieces of death that accumulate until we die ... thats why all the nice people die first"

i dont know exactly when this was from but i think i it was from 07 or maybe the begining of 08 look at this place remember how it used to seem great now all we do is grow and run is that what adulthood is all about being big enough to run? its no wonder everyone is divorced nobody really believes in love anymore or honestly anything its so sad i wish people would appreciate things like love and companionship and how special it really is breaking up sucks but the beginning is like magic I dont even remember what prompted me to write this i was probably fucking stoned and ronery hahah. i found a couple other things i wrote too.i might post them later.

I think about you everyday. i think about all the things you and i could have done and what life would be like if you were here with me.i dont talk about you very much because its hard and it makes me hurt so much because i feel like its my fault and that i didnt protect you the way i should have.when i found out about you i started taking care of you and i the best i could.he hurt you worse than he hurt me though.if i could go back and change things i would but i cant. all thats left for me is to live the best that i can and to never make the mistake of dating an asshole again.your on my mind almost every second of every day.