So i yelled at my manager today.yes i know thats not a good idea but it was one of those long awaited blow ups where the person is so rude and inconsiderate on a constant basis you just cant take it anymore.i didnt even really yell at her i just told her that my problem was with her and the fact that she doesnt allow me to finish what im saying,the majority of the time its when im giving other people in the office a heads up on an angry customer who may call back. she thought that i was upset with her telling me how to handle different things and what the procedure is...on things i already know.the point of this is just to say shut the fuck up, allow someone to finish what they have to say before you open your fatass mouth and yell at them when you have no grounds to and hear the entire story before you start yours... mmmmk? awsome-this blog is brought to you by a now happy midgit
do you ever get the feeling that life is just going to be one big dissapointment ?i used to be so optimistic ... about people, about life , about everything. but over the years ive been let down so many times.all i see now is failure and deceit. i wish i could go back in time and be the silly happy little hippie chick i used to be. i had so much potential. so much love to give and so many smiles to share.i welcomed people with open arms. not that i don't know.it's just that the way i think now is how is this person going to screw me over in the future.i try to accept things and people for who they are but time and time again i get dissapointed. i know know i didnt turn out the way my parents wanted me too and for that im dissapointed in my self. i wish i could be what they want and i wish that other people could fulfill there parents hopes and dreams as well but im tired.blah! i just wish things were differnt
i don't know why.i wish i didn't because it just makes me feel bad, maybe its because your not around hahahah how silly.ive just been in a strange mood though too because of all the shit people keep trying to fuck with me about.i haven't really hung out with anyone since all that shit went down.i miss hanging out , having fun, being silly and eating junk food.i miss snuggling too i think thats what i miss most of all hahaha awwww nooo :)it was fun. but i don't do that anymore cause everyones mean.
its so strange, i wake up because i smell you... but nothing here has your scent. i taste you on my lips although they haven't met in ages.i feel your hands touch my skin as i sleep and i awake drenched in sweat with my heart pounding out of my chest.when i realize your not there and the scent begins to fade my heart sinks deeper.when i cant feel your hands or taste your lips, the tears come.they well and they puddle but they never fall. i hold them back and smile knowing that im free but my im still bound within me.
Don't touch me, i don't want to feel anymore,don't be around me because you make me feel like a whore and don't look at me because you fucking disgust me. you keep saying your not pushy but you are.when you keep saying you want something you know you can't have you've gone too far.you don't respect me , or the things i ask. you say its teasing but its much more than that. i bet if your sister or your mother came to and said someone tried to do these things to them you'd feel these actions were pushy. am i correct?your a disgusting person and you know what you did was wrong. if you didn't think it was then you wouldn't keep calling me and saying you weren't pushy. you were!people like you are the reason women and girls are afraid to go out at night.if you think trying to force yourself on someone is an acceptable form of teasing you need serious mental help.you keep asking me if we can still be friends. but you were never really ever my friend.a friend would respect a friends wishes. i will never be your friend you sick fucking pervert.
i wish you could see all the pain you cause me
but your blind
i wish you could feel how my hurting is real
but your numb
your silence bleeds me of all the love i once had to share
now i live life like i don't give a fuck
and i don't even care
now i want you to know ill never be there
so don't even try
cause im here and your there
and i can't see truth through the tears in my eyes
i wish i could hate you
can't cast you aside
i wish things were different
i wish you would try
wish i could forget you
but i cant live a lie
i cant live this lie
im sick of the lies
i cant live this lie
I should have posed this a while ago.i might add or change some of it but i need to write the music for it and i need a chord chart to do that. and then i need someone who can actually sing to sing it for me hahahah.
im really fucking sick of you people thinking im some plastic fuck doll.im not!and im also not in a good place on a metal or physical level to be able to give myself to anyone.also if someone is honest up front and tells you they are not going to fuck you then you should respect that and not keep trying like some mother fucking rapist.to me thats the level your placed on when i say no and you keep trying to kiss me and keep asking to do stuff when all i keep saying is no and pull away.ive been in bad situations before and so when ever i feel like its happening again i run away.and never talk to the person ever again. it scares the shit out of me and to be honest with you i think its really fucking sad how people think they can just take what they want. thats not how life works. you fucking disgust me.what exactly does a girl have to do to make you understand that ? maybe i should just buy a knife and pull it out every time someone tries to whip there dick out around me and then proceed to ask if its ok if i cut it off. do you think that would deter people?
i found a little piece of you, it made me smile, even though your not around, we had fun for a while, i miss your evil grin, and the way we sometimes laughed forever. even though it had to end ill remember you fondly hahaha i miss it though.