im rather tired tonight. i had my first day of work and worked from 8am to 3pm. i did rather well i thought. i was showed how to use the register in less then 5 min then started to use it. only took about 5 min for me to get the hang out of it and start to memorize where the diff. buttons. there were a couple things that confused me a little at first and im still a little confused with, but only had a couple problems. for the most part i ran the register by myself from 9 till 2. then i did some stocking for the last hour.
i worked the entire 7 hours with out really taking a break. i bought a sandwhich that didnt taste too great for lunch but still kept working while i ate it. did better then i thought i would i was surprisingly comftorable. seems my social anxieties are pretty much gone which is nice. think ive done alot of growing over the last 3 years. i know its still gonna be hard to do this every day and such since i am introverted and people drain me. but i will make myself be upbeat and energetic during work. i can fall exhausted when i get home. i would rather just stock and do stuff not dealing with people but as always will do what i have to.
im not making very much which is sad when i think of it in terms. standing around all day working only pays for one tank of gas :/ but ill be able to get my car paid off every month and save around 200 or so each month, then ill be getting some money from articles which will help out. in 3 months i should get a raise. eventually im sure i will need to find another job but for starting out this will be fine. im comftorable with the people and the job and it's more money then i was making before.
i gots to work till 4 tomorrow which is sort of sad. was hoping i didnt have work tomorrow but its money. i think id be best with working every other day, but meh not much i can do about it. tomorrow would be two years with ravyn, but i can ignore it while at work. people keep my mind occupied most the time only giving me a few moments to start to zone out and feel bleh. i've been thinking of ravyn a little bit lately, but even so i must admit i miss rochelle. i have a feeling we won't be talking as much anymore and things will never come out of it more then friendship.
atleast i gained a friend though. hurts a little that i have to let it go but ive had to do that a few times this summer so it's something im getting pretty used to. it sucks to realize i went through 12 years of being imprisoned by school only to become imprisoned by a job that will probably take away more of my life then school did. i hate being so bound and reliant on something. but for now there's nothing i can do about it. in time i will hopefully find a way to break away from it and live. but cant right now i guess. just wish at the end of each day i had something there to wash it all away. someone to lay next to and hold close and remind me why im working so hard each day. like when i was working for ravyn's step dad. it was so worth it. i worked so hard and exhausted myself as much as possible so i could go home and fall into her arms and know that i had made money for her. no use thinking of it tho all i have is a pillow to hold and lost memories and hopes that now must be forgotten.. good thing i don't get hopeful about anything anymore. less disappointment.
