I LOVE TO SPOON BUT I REALLY WANNA FORK's blog: "The World According to Catdaddy!"

Man, I need to be in my truck and on the road, cuz this Fu-stuff is gettin' a lil out of hand. I swear I have been gettin' more and more guys checkin' up on their "ladies" by scanning MY page. Maybe it's because of the goofy comments I leave. Maybe it's the fact I'm in a select few's Family or Top Friends group. Maybe it's because I have the strangest headliners for my profile name. Or maybe it's the pic. Whatever it is, I have gotten way too many dudes rushing to my page (sometimes over and over again), just to see what "she" said to me to have me leave such a comment and what not. So, if you really want to know what I'm about, or what my intentions are to your "woman", let me tell you. NOTHING!! I am with an incredible woman, and happy to be with her. Anyone else I speak to, chat with, or clown with, are just friends. There are too many great women on here that are great conversationalists. A lot of em just want to talk and clown (mostly because I'm a big ol' goof ball lol). Some have problems and hardships, and find it very easy to talk to me about it. Some just wanna know how the fuck my brain works like it does. Either way, it's all on the up and up. There's no secret plans for a hookup. There's no plottin' or plannin' on doing any dirt behind anyone's back. Just passin' the time with good conversation. And I truly appreciate it, because I'm losing my fuckin' mind over here. So to be able to talk and pass the time more constructively is a godsend in my eyes. So there is no reason for anyone to be jealous or suspicious of anything coming from over here. Besides, if you're worried about what some random guys say to the women of Fubar, you're gonna get a serious ulcer, because first of all, us guys are pretty perverted on here (especially after 2 am lol). Second, there are A LOT of beautiful women on here (shit, throw a rock and you're bound to hit about 10 sexy ladies. They would probably be very pissed at you though, since you're not supposed to hit pretty women with rocks :|). And lastly, WE'RE ADULTS!!! We should be able to carry ourselves with a lil more maturity than that. So in closing, if you have your eyes or heart set out on a particular woman on here, chances are you're not the only one. However, who finds her attractive, beautiful, or down right sexy, is not in your control AT ALL! What you can control is your fuckin' emotions!! If you care and admire her so much, how about trying to trust her more. You'll get a lot further with her doing that than trying to track her every mouse click on this website. But hey, that's just my opinion........my word ain't law.........

From Oprah to Dr. Phil, from all your "girly" magazines, from all the stories you've heard from your girlfriends, a lot of women have these "conventional wisdoms" about guys that they swear are just gospel. Sad thing is, there are enough asshole guys, and enough bullshit that can be twisted around to make assumptions seem as factual. But it just isn't always the case. So many things are said about men that too many women, and too many of us men accept as true. 1. All men are DOGS!.....If that was the case, we wouldn't socialize by taking you out to eat and to the movies. We'd just sniff your ass, hike up your skirt, and fuck you sideways until someone grabs the garden hose and sprays us off of you. Most men, by nature, are visual creatures. So yes, we base a lot off of physical features. But when maturity and experience actually sets in, we know better than to just fall for a pretty face or a slim waist. And if your personal experiences have you screaming that all men are dogs, what you mean to say is that all the men YOU FUCK WITH are dogs. At some point, you have to figure out what is it about you that keeps attracting canines. 2. Guys aren't sensitive enough.....There are plenty of sensitive guys in the world. The problem most women have with a guy's sensitivity, is the timing of it. If you've had a bad day, or some horrible event has just occurred, a lot of you don't give a guy enough information to understand why you're so upset or why the situation is so bad or bleak. And if you give a guy the who, what, where, when, and why of a situation, we can usually wrap our heads around it. But most of us guys are creatures of LOGIC. 1 + 2 has to equal 3 in our heads. So if it doesn't add up right away, we might not truly "understand" the situation until we get all the facts and factors straight. But most guys will listen and be there for a woman, if you give us something to work with. 3. No man can ever have a platonic relationship with a woman........That's bullshit! Of course you can. You can have any type of relationship with anyone, IF YOU DEFINE THE FUCKING RELATIONSHIP! And yes, most men have women as "friends" that they wanna beastfuck at any given moment, but most men are respectful enough to stay within the guidelines, if there are actual guidelines to begin with. Not many people want drama, and will try to avoid it if they see it coming. However, a lot of women look at "platonic" male friends as a safety net. When you're feeling not-so pretty, you call your "friend" for him to stroke your ego. When you don't wanna feel like a loser going to the club alone, you call "Mr. Dependable". And all those free movies and dinners you got with no strings attatched? You can thank platonics for that. And if you have that "itch" and you need it scratched, that's when you blur the lines of the relationship and look at some platonic friend as a Dick in a Glass Case. "In case of an emergency, break open glass". 4. All the good guys out there are either taken or gay.......Again, that's bullshit! There are plenty of good guys out there. The problem most women have with "finding" a good guy, is basically what they're looking for. When you're young, you set your standards WAY TOO HIGH!!! Then, you meet that one guy, who becomes the guy you definitely shouldn't be with, but the guy you can't get over. Maybe it's the way things ended badly and you want to make it all good again, maybe it's the fact that he's got all these other desirable qualities when it comes to financial and domestic security, but he's just not a "people person". But most of the times, he gave you the best dick-down of your life, and every other guy you try to build a relationship with just doesn't compare to him in the sack. Either way, the reasons a lot of women come up with on why this guy or that guy isn't "good enough" is just ludicrous. If you actually got to know a man past his looks or wallet, or the fact he might not have the "career" you associate with a "good man", maybe you would find the most loyal, sensitive, funny, and incredible person you bond with. Maybe I'm asking for too much LOL. 5. A man can never be faithful.....Fidelity has very little to do with gender, even less to do with cultural background. But what fidelity has a LOT TO DO with, is your OPTIONS!!! Any man or woman with a lot of options to go one way or the other, has a greater chance to "exercise" those options. So if you have a man, and belittle him, don't show him some affection, ration out the pussy like it's on strike or some U.N.-imposed sanction, and basically take him for granted, don't be surprised if for a random moment in time, you weren't his number one option. Any man or woman has the ability to be doggedly loyal in a relationship. But at the same time, ANY man or woman can be a cheater. And if you actually practiced the golden rule once in a while, you might get a lot of that in return. You know how good sex feels. You know your man likes a blow job every now and again. You know how good it feels to hear a compliment every once in a while. So why wouldn't you return the favor? And if you refuse to, why would you be surprised your man went astray for a great blow job? Nobody goes out to a restaurant if the "home cookin'" is better. There are so many more "misconceptions" about men out there, that it's pathetic. I just think these 5 are said way too often without merit. But honestly, any man can make them "true", but it's not something you can generalize for all men. Bottom line, communication is the key. And realize that even if it seems that all of us have something in common with each other, WE ARE NOT ALL THE SAME! So if some guy in your past fucked you over, don't take it out on the male population. Anybody should be able to start out a relationship with a clean slate. Which means a man should be able to have a chance to fuck you over in his own unique way LOL. But hey, it's just my opinion......my word ain't law......

It seems that most guys have these misconceptions about women that are assumed true. And it usually comes from their rare experiences with certain individuals. Even sadder, some of it comes from stories they heard or read, or something they saw on tv. Which is unfortunate. 1. Women don't enjoy or think about sex as much as men.........OMG that's a fuckin' lie! Have you even had a conversation with a woman? Read a Cosmo magazine lol. Or one of those romance novels. Geez, they make the articles in Playboy look like Dr. Seuss stories. Still don't agree? Take your index finger and stick it in your ear. Wiggle it around for a minute. Take your finger out of your ear. Now which one feels better, your finger or your ear? 2. Man, she's a bitch! She must be on her period...... You're just setting yourself up to be cussed out. Now yes, PMS can make a woman "on edge", but that isn't the only reason a woman will snap. You ever think that she doesn't like your goofy ass? Ever think that your "Hey babe, nice tits!" comment didn't register to her as flattering. There are plenty of things that can make a woman a "bitch". Doesn't always have to involve their ovaries. 3. Smart, intelligent women or "nerdy" women are boring in bed........On the contrary, intelligent women are the BIGGEST FREAKS in bed. First off, to do something AMAZING in bed, you need an imagination and some sense of creativity. Also, they know enough about their bodies, and even your body, to know that things that are "gross", really aren't gross. Trust me, you want a smart woman in your bed, ready to do the most incredible things YOU can't think of. 4. A woman who wears scantily clad clothing, are sluts, and are asking for sex.......If you knew the love affair that women have with clothes, you would never go there. Most women dress according to how they feel. So when a woman feels good and confident about herself, she'll carry it accordingly. Just enjoy the sight. Besides, a lot of times when a woman wants sex, she won't dress for it. She'll SHAVE for it, but the dressing part, she wanted to wear that outfit because she likes the way she looks in it. Pure and simple. 5. A woman who sleeps with a lot of guys, whether past or present, isn't the girlfriend/wife type......If you think that your now g/f or wife was so pure before you got with her, think again. But even with that said, that doesn't change one thing about the quality of her character. And if you're so insecure about the past of a woman that had absolutely NOTHING to do with you, a woman's past isn't the problem. Besides, how would you know? Most women do not tell you the EXACT number of people they slept with. If anything, they'll tell you how many BOYFRIENDS they had. But you know why women don't tell you the whole truth? Becasue YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!! :P Either way, you have to judge a woman, like anyone else, on their individual merits and content of character. But it's nice to see a great pair of tits and a curvy ass, too. :P But hey, that's just my opinion.........my word ain't law........

Wow, I'm about to get up from this chair and just get out of the house for a lil bit. I have actually listened to 6 hours of my mp3's (I have about 250 hours worth, but I'm not trying to sit here and listen to em straight thru lol). If my last blog offended anybody, that wasn't my intention. Just stating that I'm not here to judge anyone for anything. But I do see that there are a lot of you who are here for real and just want to pass the day, have some stimulating conversation, have a few laughs, and just watch all the pretty pics scroll by with no drama or pretense. BIG-UP to all the people who understand that this is just a social website, not the end all, be all to your life. That you can hopefully meet like-minded individuals on here that just don't want in your pants (but if you want em in your pants, BONUS!! you're at the right place LOL). Either way, you don't have to worry about this goofy, long-winded, borderline insane or mildly retarded (we have yet to figure that out), guy bringing you and drama or hatred to your pics or profile. Respect..... Even if I find myself laughing so hard at some of y'all that I can't breathe, I won't rub it in anyone's face :P But hey, that's just my opinion......my word ain't law....

Guess it's blog time, since I'm just sittin' here and I'm BORED OUTTA MY FUCKIN' MIND!!! Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm on here maybe 2 days out of the month (I drive a truck, so I'm on the road CONSTANTLY). Well, my truck is in the shop, and I'm just in the house (and suffering from major cabin fever lol). So this week, I have been on Fubar a shit load. And maybe I'm just new to this whole thing, but WOW, what's the big thing now? Bidding for pictures, or fu-ownership? Rate and comment bombing for "fu-bling"? Opening your "sweet treats" folder for a blast or happy hour? Good lord, I guess I'm just seriously out of the loop. I've been hit up in the shoutbox, inbox, and profile comments to rate, comment, repost, "whore-out", and down right purchase shit for a varied group of people on here. And for what? A chance to see you all over my homepage for a week or two? Honestly, as much as that scroll changes, I see all of you about 137 times a day anyways. Just had me real confused on why so many will show their beautiful bodies, or do whatever to those bodies for a $100 happy hour, or a 30-day blast. And now I see why. The women who propose the idea of showing their bodies or making some sultry personal salute pic for these fu-things do so, because THEY CAN and THEY WILL GET WHAT THEY ASK FOR! Every other blast or happy hour has some sexy vixen thanking someone for the blast or happy hour. And you know what, more power to ya. I am in no position to judge any of you. We're all adults, and it's all consentual (I hope it is lol). If you have the face or body that would make people buy you these things, I ain't mad at cha. I understand how great it feels to have people come by and rate and comment your page and pics. How empowering it is to have so many "strangers" go out their way to choose YOU out of all the other members for that fleeting moment of time. And if all of this helps you hold your head higher when you walk out your door into the real world, guess it ain't all bad. HOWEVER, don't expect to buy you any fu-shit!!! Because a lot of you are sexy as hell, but they're still just pictures. I don't see the positive return on such an investment. In other words, for $100, I better get WAY MORE than a thank you and a fu-necklace!!! But hey, that's just my opinion.....my word ain't law

I found someone special! And I say that with confidence. And even though I have heard so many say that it's not "for real" or what not, I know what I feel, and what I've experienced over the past few months. A woman who has so many qualities I look for in a woman, plus so many other qualities I never thought I would find as amazing and endearing as I have found in her. "But she's so.....different!". All the greater reason to say she's special. She's unlike anyone I have ever met or known in my lifetime. I know it all sounds cliche', but I'm being honest with myself. I am happy, not just right now, but I can see me being very happy down the road. Hard to explain, but no explanation needed. And so many people say they're "looking" for all these intangible qualities in a significant other. Sense of humor, great attitude, as long as it's in a package with blonde hair and big tits. Good personality, and down to earth, as long as she has a firm ass. Sweet nature, beautiful smile, as long as she can suck you into a blissful coma. And for those who swear that it won't last long at all, or that it's just some fling, I'm not worried about other's opinions on what I'm doing. I'm not worried about the distant future. I live by the phrase "Carpe Diem". Live for the day. But it's been a long time since I've actually looked forward to tomorrow. And she's done that for me in such a short time. Maybe I'm setting myself up for failure, maybe it will run white-hot for a month and burn out before things get going, maybe she'll be so disappointed with me and just dismiss me through an email. But maybe, just maybe, we can just live our lives and make each other happy. Maybe we can enjoy each others company, and not try to put on a front or facade to impress each other. Just be ourselves and be overjoyed. Be each other's reason to smile. I hope for the latter. And will do my part to make it happen. Yes, it's a gamble, but it's a risk I'm willing to take. She's worth it. :) But hey, it's just my opinion.........my word ain't law....

I was talking to my g/f, and she was reading Cosmo, and telling me about their 50 "things you should do with/for/to your man" part, or the 21 "things that guys fuck up" section, and I've realized something....The women who write these so-called "informative" articles, are jaded, bitter, delusional individuals. First off, there aren't 50 ANYTHINGS to "pleasing" your man. Usually there are only 4. Food, Sex, A compliment or two, and a moment of silence. All the other stuff is just extra. Besides, if you would just actually take the time to get to know your significant other, you would already know how to, or at least come up with new ways on how to please or excite your man. And the whole bitter list of what guys don't do is written or compiled by women who fucked up or got fucked over by assholes that they always fall for, therefore ALL GUYS are just like that. So they get a whole bunch of pictures of models and celebrities with perfect hair and perfect bodies, along with the airbrush to make their faces look perfect, so they can make you feel worse about yourself. Tearing down your self esteem so you can buy whatever overpriced products they sell. Now you're prone to any type of suggestion, and that's where the "lists" come in. They'll suggest to you all the ways in which your man is purely inadequate and just a complete asshole. Which makes you wanna start petty arguments and tiffs to justify whatever bullshit comes after the Paris Hilton expose' on page 64. Don't believe me? My girl took the magazine to work to read, but never really got to it. While she was busy at work, some of her customers took a gander at it while waiting. And no fail, girlfriends are starting arguments with their unsuspecting lovers over a fuckin' magazine article. That's ok I guess, Cosmo will put out the "How to win him back" list in next month's issue. Evil fuckers.... But hey, that's just my opinion......my word ain't law.....

From Yahoo chat rooms, AOL chat rooms, livejournal, myspace, and now Fubar (formerly Lost Cherry.....REMEMBER THAT ONE? lol), I have had my fair share of Yahoo "buddies". And I usually "clean out" my messenger list once every 3 months. But now more than ever, I just stopped giving people my yahoo s/n. I used to think "Eh, what's the harm in letting someone add you to their yahoo". Then, the forwarded messages came. After that, the awkward conversations with the even more awkward pauses and silences. Then......THE WEBCAM!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!! Also the photo sharing. What a weird deal to be having a rather simple and "safe" conversation with someone, then I get that prompt that I've been invited to start photo sharing with them. Not thinking anything of it, I accept. First, I get pictures of their kids, AWWWWWWW. Or maybe pictures of their pets, AWWWWWW. Or even pictures of artwork or their house and yard and what-not. But it never seems to fail, right after the picture of their 4 year old blowing the candles out on their cake, the next picture fuzzily fades into view, and I'm sitting there thinking "Wait a minute, is that a titty?". And before I can figure out what I saw, here comes the money shot, for lack of a better term. "That is a titty! And not a great titty either! Along with what appears to be a crotch shot! ugh". If you saw some of these between-the-legs pictures, let's just say, you'll be thinking "Arby's" :| And what's worse than unexpected, unwanted naked photos? Seeing the person "in action". Maybe I'm way too gullible, maybe I'm the King of Wishful Thinking, but I always convince myself that I'm not gonna see anything bad on the cam. And I'm always wrong!!! :| To watch all that "skin" moving, and folding around what appears to be some phallic-shaped vegetable, OMG!!! Makes me wish for dial-up again! Can't we chat anymore? Just chat, not cyber! Not show each other what neither one of us is getting at the moment and probably not any time soon. I would hope that "if I tink I tawt a puddy tat", I would be ready to slide up in it. Not clicking my mouse to close it. But hey, that's just my opinion.......my word ain't law.........

Any one who knows me, knows that I don't start, and don't like to be involved in petty drama, especially the internet brand of drama. But after the weekend I've had, if something gets riled up after this blog, I really don't give a fuck! LOL I had a very interesting individual visit my profile, and send me a friend request and the whole fu-shebang. I wouldn't have known about the request if I didn't get 2 sets of IM's from a friend and a special someone, telling me that this person is asking if they were dating me and other probing questions about the relationships they had with me. Now it all seemed harmless, but this person.....she was very persistent, to say the least. And yes, her pictures show a very attractive, and very unique woman, but our conversation seemed very out of sorts. Now if she is who she says she is, and she is really "enamored" with me, then I apologize for this blog. But something in my gut is screaming out at me, saying that this might have some other shit going on behind the scenes. I'm not online often enough to have anything happen on here like that, or any other type of drama. But while looking at her profile, I made some very interesting "connections", and I for one, do not believe in coincidences. Now I do have a tendency to overthink things, I admit that. So if my "conspiracy" radar is way off base, then again, I apologize. But I swear, this feels like some kind of set up, just to start some shit. Now I don't mind if someone has a problem with me, or who I associate with, but if there is a problem with me, then bring it to me AND ONLY ME!!! Going to other people's profiles starting shit, or leaving insulting or instigating messages or comments is uncalled for. No matter what I do on my profile, what pictures I put up, what goofy names I change my profile to, or whatever irreverent blogs I compose, I carry myself as a mature man, and treat everyone else on here with respect. I should be treated the same. Now if this is all just me blowing things out of proportion, then I will take all the blame and apologize. But if there is some goofy fu-drama bullshit going on here, I will squash it REAL QUICK. I'm not the guy to pull goofy shit on. There are plenty of people who would love the negative attention. But I have a very full and equally entertaining life. I don't need to make up events to find something to do. But hey, it's just my opinion......my word ain't law

I am a hard working man, who has very little time for my own interests and desires. And a lot of times, especially recently, it has felt that all of my hard work and effort, along with my tolerance of all that goes on in my life has been done in vain. I mean having to pay more than my fair share in support so that my son's brother along with my son has enough to get by, now being told he's about to have yet another sibling. To be told all my good work and efficiency on the road means very little to the company I drive for. And the so-called "friends" who hit me up whenever they need a shoulder, or to be cheered up, yet when I'm home, or when they're in high spirits, I never get those calls or replies. But this weekend, after having my son and spending time with him one on one, and after having a very deep and pleasant conversation with a very special woman in my life (you know who you are!! And after a very interesting situation this weekend, a few others know who you are, too LOL :P), I feel like all that I do, and who I do it for, is all worth it again. Life just has this way of picking you back up when it seems that you're on a downward spiral. What a difference a day makes. Friday, I swear I was on some other depressing planet. But today, I have been all smiles, and feeling really good. And I know this whole blog sounds really blahzay, but honestly, I can really say that things have turned around very well. Let's see what Sunday brings me. LOL