I LOVE TO SPOON BUT I REALLY WANNA FORK's blog: "The World According to Catdaddy!"

I guess I'm feelin' a bit bloggy, so I'll write one. I was sittin' here on one of my unexpected days off (gotta love the job market, eh?), starting to feel a bit down, pessimistic about my life and all that. Why I'm not at the "place" I expected to be at my age, why I find myself associating with the same deadbeats and ne'er-do-wells I have been since college. And then it hit me. There are so many people I know that have it sooooo much worse than I do (and sadly, most of their problems are self-imposed), that I have to count my blessings.

Hell, I have a friend who has so many health issues, it's hard to figure out which medication she has to take this hour. Have another friend who just ended a 9 year relationship over a man she met on the 'net', and just realized all the sweet and passionate things that guy was doing and saying to her, he was basically copying and pasting to other chicks with substantially larger breasts than her.

I have a friend who is trying to kick a binge-drinking habit, but when he is sober, is the most irritating and annoying motherfucker anyone could have the displeasure of knowing. Another friend who swears up and down that men just treat her so badly, and treat her like a mistress, but when she does have a good man have interest in her, she treats him like the other men in her life have treated her, and end up going back to said assholes, only to feel the pain she swore she was tired of just a minute ago.

And look at just that little example of things, and thank my lucky stars that at least I have a good grasp of the truth and reality of things. That no matter how bad things get for me, or how bad they treat me, as long as their is air in my lungs and my heart makes that "lub-dub" sound, I can and will get through it, and keep moving forward. Too many people I know either do not, can not, or sadly WILL NOT move forward with their lives. And for whatever reasons, I'm one of the few people they can depend on to "help" them through the unbearable times. And how can I do that if I'm too busy playin' in my own lil pity party....

I have a lot of things to be thankful for. A lot of things to be happy about. A lot of things to appreciate. And most importantly, I have a long way to go. Can't spend that time and effort worrying about what went wrong. Just learn from it, and try to repeat the things that went "right"....

But hey, that's just my opinion.....my word ain't law....:|

I was listening to a radio program (one of those bullshit talk radio shows), and the topic was how women dress nowadays, and how that has sent society spiraling downward, because of how men react to these said women, and that those women should take more responsibility with how they "express" themselves in public. Which is all bullshit, because anybody telling someone else how to express themselves is automatically in the wrong.

But the show kept on about how "provocative" dress incites immoral or inappropriate behavior from others. Whipping out all these wild and unproven statistics tying rape, harassment, sexual abuse, and other predatory discrepancies to revealing dress. If that wasn't enough bullshit, you have people calling in and actually agreeing with the host and his bullshit guest on how these women should be ashamed of themselves, and how we as a world are going to hell because a choice few of us wear tank tops or shorts....

And the whole thing that bugs me about this particular issue, is that the women in question are the only ones being blamed for this all out behavior, and most people know better, but just don't do or say anything about it. Mostly men. Calling a woman a slut, or blaming her attire allows weak-minded and weak-willed men to justify their caveman behavior. Anyone who's been on this planet for at least 15 years should know that a heterosexual man will compliment, comment, nag, harass, demean, ogle, or just down right stare at a woman REGARDLESS OF WHAT SHE HAS ON!! And in my own experience, I have been more turned-on by a beautiful, confident woman in sweatpants and a t-shirt than some loosey-goosey chick in booty shorts and half of a half-top.

To vilify or demean a woman because a man acts a certain way because of that woman's presence is just stupid. A woman should be able to wear what she wants, when she wants, and how she wants to. And any man should be able to control his own hormones when looking at women in public. If anything, that man who makes the lewd comments, and drools at the drop of a dime when he senses anything with estrogen, should be ridiculed and demeaned. The defense that men, or society uses, to explain away the actions of punk-ass men, and putting that burden on women is outdated and just plain wrong. Our taboos on sexuality and nudity are irrational, unnatural, and basically ignorant. How a woman dresses explains about 2% of that woman's character or nature. But we still put so much weight into the issue. It's just a shame that in 2009, we are still having the "debate" over it. So to all the women who dress "provocatively", keep on struttin' and flauntin' it. But beware, society's eyes are on you.....

 

Ok people....Yes, LOLCATZ is funny and irreverant, but honestly, it's only funny when there's some strange or adorable animal picture accompanied with it. It's cute to watch a cat beg and struggle for the cheeseburger. Don't take the whole phenomenon and milk it dry.

Yes, LOLCATZ can unite all types of people and all walks of life, but it loses its luster when middle-aged "humans" take the phrases and just uses them in their vernacular ad nauseum. Just like the ditzy girl who actually says "lol" in a spoken conversation :|

Please, let the cute cat pics have their glory. It's bad enough we steal damn near every clever music lyric or chorus, every hackneyed catch phrase on tv, and every viral video phenomenon that hits the net. I'm just disheartened to see grown folk talk like theoretical cat speech, just to get chuckles.

 

But hey, that's just my opinion......my word ain't law......:|

We've got a long way to go..... Jungle fever, Mud Shark, Cave Bitch, Sell Out, Traitor, N-Lover........these are some of the names and terms I have heard being said to me or whoever I've dated that happen to be of a different race. And as much as it really doesn't surprise me to hear some of these things, it surprises me that it's still that big of an issue to many people, dating someone that's of a different race or culture. I bring this up because of a young lady who I used to date last year basically emptied her soul to me just a few hours ago. She said the reason she stopped talking to me was for other reasons, but now I find out that the main reason is that she felt embarrassed and ashamed to date me because of how her family would treat her or think of her if they found out. And basically she was looking for my forgiveness. As much as I empathize for her, I can't offer her my forgiveness. I'm not asking her to forsake her family for me, but I do deserve more than to be looked at as some shameful act or sinful phase in someone's life. And I know her intentions aren't all bad, and she's trying to explain to me that it wasn't me persay, but her family, and how she has to deal with them. But honestly, what she's telling me is that I'm a black man who happens to be a good man, when the reality is......I'M A GOOD MAN WHO JUST HAPPENS TO BE BLACK! I don't agree with her family's opinion of black people, or interracial relationships, but I respect any and everyone's opinion. But more importantly, it's not my job or obligation to convince them, or anybody else who shares that opinion, otherwise. If they wouldn't take the time to get to know me personally, on a level deeper than my skin tone, than I don't have to bend or bow to their opinions or beliefs. But she knows what kind of man I am, and it's insulting and offensive to let anyone speak of me in such a manner knowing of my character, my intelligence, and courtesy. Even if it is family, I deserve to be defended on principle alone. You know, it's funny. I have been down this road many times before, but it never really runs its course. Same shit, different toilet. I have dated women of different races and cultures, and I have family members who have voiced concern, antimosity, and pure disgust for my choices in women. However, I called them on it right then and there. But it seems that I never got that same fight on the other end. And even funnier, some of the women that I no longer date, I finally get to meet the parents after the fact, and the parents are extremely fond of me.........JUST AS LONG AS I'M NOT INTIMATE WITH THEIR DAUGHTERS! I hope that one day that we can all get over something as superficial and silly as skin tone determining who we date. However, we have too many people who date outside of their race for all the wrong reasons, which ends up perpetuating this bullshit destructive cycle of intolerance and hatred. And if I hear shit like this one more time...."Wow, he's intelligent, funny, cute, sexy, sweet, etc.....FOR A BLACK GUY".....I'm gonna go postal. But hey, I guess it could be worse. It was only 50 years ago that I would be lynched or jailed for dating a white woman. But if that's the only silver lining I can find in this dark cloud, then we truly have a long way to go...... But hey, that's just my opinion.........my word ain't law........

I was at a restaurant a few weeks ago, and some woman just sat down next to me and started up a conversation. She was a nice lady, and the conversation was ok, but then it led to this question...."So what do you look for in an ideal woman?". I was about to answer this question when I paused and thought for a moment. Then I told her that I would only know a woman is ideal for me AFTER I get to know her. I realized in that split second what I've been doing wrong for sooooo long. What many people do that is sooooo wrong. We get on websites and chat rooms, we go to bars and social events, and we tell total strangers what qualities we look for in someone we would like to date or be intimate with. And there are two fundemental flaws with that. First, we're telling people how to "act" or "be" in order to get to that next level with us personally. Which means that any random asshole, bitch, or psycho would only have to put on a front according to our "preferences" so we can let our walls down and they can get what they want from us. Most of the time it ends up being sex. Other times, it could be money or influence. Whatever it is, we set ourselves up for failure from the beginning by letting someone know how to peak our interest and eventually win our hearts. Second fundemental flaw, we actually start believing in our own bullshit. Now you don't have to admit it to me, but I bet a whole bunch of you, if not ALL of you have done this. Instead of looking for those personally attractive qualities in just anybody, you scratch and dig to find those qualities in someone you find physically attractive. In other words, we ignore or dismiss the ones who do exemplify those qualities who might not be that sexy, but look for and try to justify that someone who is sexy beyond sexy actually posess those qualities, when it's obvious they don't. We need to stop with this "ideal" or "soulmate" bullshit. If we stop runnin' around looking for a certain quality in people, and just get to know people all around, we would actually notice who truly have those qualities that we like and admire in a lover or friend. Stop catering to a fantasy that won't happen, and that no one could ever live up to, and actually let life surprise you. I've been let down by too many women to sit here and tell you what I look for in a woman. Because I found those qualities in those women, and they all let me down ten-fold. Yet the ones who I ignored or pushed aside, have always risen above expectation. And because of my bone-headedness (is that a word?), lucky guys have scooped up most if not all of these great women. So if you find yourself tellin' someone, or tellin' yourself "I'm lookin' for a love who is....", STOP!!!! You don't look for love, you don't look for intangible qualities, those qualities present themselves to you when it's time. It's up to you to notice them at the appropriate times, not when you WANT them to show up. But hey, this is just my opinion......my word ain't law......