We've got a long way to go.....
Jungle fever, Mud Shark, Cave Bitch, Sell Out, Traitor, N-Lover........these are some of the names and terms I have heard being said to me or whoever I've dated that happen to be of a different race. And as much as it really doesn't surprise me to hear some of these things, it surprises me that it's still that big of an issue to many people, dating someone that's of a different race or culture.
I bring this up because of a young lady who I used to date last year basically emptied her soul to me just a few hours ago. She said the reason she stopped talking to me was for other reasons, but now I find out that the main reason is that she felt embarrassed and ashamed to date me because of how her family would treat her or think of her if they found out. And basically she was looking for my forgiveness.
As much as I empathize for her, I can't offer her my forgiveness. I'm not asking her to forsake her family for me, but I do deserve more than to be looked at as some shameful act or sinful phase in someone's life. And I know her intentions aren't all bad, and she's trying to explain to me that it wasn't me persay, but her family, and how she has to deal with them. But honestly, what she's telling me is that I'm a black man who happens to be a good man, when the reality is......I'M A GOOD MAN WHO JUST HAPPENS TO BE BLACK!
I don't agree with her family's opinion of black people, or interracial relationships, but I respect any and everyone's opinion. But more importantly, it's not my job or obligation to convince them, or anybody else who shares that opinion, otherwise. If they wouldn't take the time to get to know me personally, on a level deeper than my skin tone, than I don't have to bend or bow to their opinions or beliefs. But she knows what kind of man I am, and it's insulting and offensive to let anyone speak of me in such a manner knowing of my character, my intelligence, and courtesy. Even if it is family, I deserve to be defended on principle alone.
You know, it's funny. I have been down this road many times before, but it never really runs its course. Same shit, different toilet. I have dated women of different races and cultures, and I have family members who have voiced concern, antimosity, and pure disgust for my choices in women. However, I called them on it right then and there. But it seems that I never got that same fight on the other end. And even funnier, some of the women that I no longer date, I finally get to meet the parents after the fact, and the parents are extremely fond of me.........JUST AS LONG AS I'M NOT INTIMATE WITH THEIR DAUGHTERS!
I hope that one day that we can all get over something as superficial and silly as skin tone determining who we date. However, we have too many people who date outside of their race for all the wrong reasons, which ends up perpetuating this bullshit destructive cycle of intolerance and hatred. And if I hear shit like this one more time...."Wow, he's intelligent, funny, cute, sexy, sweet, etc.....FOR A BLACK GUY".....I'm gonna go postal. But hey, I guess it could be worse. It was only 50 years ago that I would be lynched or jailed for dating a white woman. But if that's the only silver lining I can find in this dark cloud, then we truly have a long way to go......
But hey, that's just my opinion.........my word ain't law........
