It has been mentioned extensively to not neglect safety and limits. I have read it myself hundreds of times. Despite the warnings, as a slave in training I greatly neglected this simply in an effort to please and not cause discontent. Forcing myself ot push past what was enough was what I thought was expected of me. IT"S NOT! Not one bit. There is a limit to pushing past your limits. We must all recognize those limits. It's more than just you will do what I tell you to. I have found this to be one of the greater misconceptions of BDSM. It is not a one way relationship with everything being done simply to please the top. It's a power exchange not a power trip!
Having experienced this, hear out a beginner's thoughts. Be wary of those times when your mind actually decides to obey a command that you are not comfortable with. Sometimes it's a good thing; we need to conquer our fears. Be more wary when it is something that creates an emotional or mental battle in your life. These times of turmoil can lead to hardships and trying times in your relationships. You will find yourself slowly wondering how much farther things will go before they become enough. As a bottom, you could be teaching your top that you want more or can take more than what you can actually handle. Personally, I was lucky enough to have a good trainer and Master and Mistress to take care of me when I went too far too fast. Not everyone will be that lucky - so don't do it in the first place!
One of the most crippling things you can do to this culture is to allow yourself to be abused for it. Now abuse usually means that you would be hurt by someone who wants to hurt you. But that is not the abuse I am referring to. You can be abused simply by someone applying force to you physically or mentally or emotionally that you cannot protect yourself against. Even if they don't know they are doing it, they can still be abusing you. Take care of their emotions as well and let them know when they've pushed things too far. Don't say it's ok when it's not. Don't say you'll be fine when you are dying inside. Allow them the opportunity to take care of you.
That is what safewords and limits and aftercare are about. Allowing the positive side to show through in the one person who demands the best of you. BDSM has been widely known for pain, torture, control. Masters/Dommes are seen as selfish. Slaves/Subs are seen as weak. This is where the best is hidden from public view. A good Top takes care of the bottom when they can. They want to hear the safewords so they know when enough is enough. They need to know the limits so that they know where not to go. They enjoy providing the aftercare and bringing you back to where you need to be. As a bottom, do not neglect your Top. Allow them to care for you, to love you, to comfort you. Don't let the pain outweigh the pleasure.
