i have found myself very lacking.. i'm sure that this is the life i want but i learn every day that i have more to learn than i dreamed of the night before. i have come to the conclusion that if i am to succeed then i must buckle down.
i will be drilling myself on the rules that Master and i have agreed to. i will follow them to the best of my ability. i will confess every night any rule that has been broken in the slightest. i will be denying myself some of the better pleasures that i have so far enjoyed. i have already denied myself writing - this is my first post in a long time and will be my last for a while.
i will not be crying out for pity or understanding. i need to remember my place. i am no more than a piece of property and a servant. i have no will of my own. i want nothing for myself. the rules that have been placed before me shall become a part of me so that they are always in my thoughts.
i am sure that there are many ways i have misbehaved that i myself do not even realize. please, do not hold my Master accountable for this. i have resisted the training he has offered for far too long and tried to find my own to replace it. that shall no longer be.
ok this is getting too deep in thought for me. i need to go to bed now. i just wanted to tell my friends that i wouldn't be available for a little while.
