I recently began a journey into a lifestyle of 24/7 BDSM. This fits me well for many reasons. I’m a freak. I like to be constantly involved in mental foreplay. I love knowing that I can make someone SO delighted. It’s like Christmas every day!
Because of this, I almost diverted back to being the lonely needy girl I used to be. Falling for all the wrong guys is a bad habit to start back into. Luckily my experience in relationships has stuck with me like riding a bicycle. Always pay attention to the red flags! I don’t care how enamored he has you or how right it feels. If there are caution signs going up around you, there is a reason! I had to learn this from my true Master. There is no need for this to be anything but a fun and enjoyable lifestyle.
My former master seemed so comforting when he needed to be most. He showed nurture and support as often as the devil himself could. He acted encouraging and so rewarding. What could a man so wonderful possibly do so wrong? Isn’t that the end all to every question. The first thing you need to realize is that when you idolize someone so much there is usually a not so good reason for it. Sometimes your brain just can’t handle another person letting you down so it goes into a state of denial. At other times, you are just being fed a line of bullshit that you want to believe too badly. Either way, it is not good. No one is perfect – search out the flaws and study them. Learn from them. You know they are there.
My true Master has a flaw, kind of. He’s an asshole. He’s a good one too – and he’ll be the first to tell you so. Of course, as his slave, I like it. He is honest and straight forward. He doesn’t try to control what I’m not ready for him to. He is not helpful and caring only when he absolutely needs to be. He is supportive and comforting at all times! I am sure he could possibly do wrong but I will never see it as such. The times that he does make a mistake, he admits it immediately thereby correcting his error. I wish that I could be so quick to confess when I’ve broken a rule! He makes no excuses for who he is or what he does. He teaches me and learns of me and shows me how to achieve what I desire. “Excuses are tools of incompetence that building mindlessness out of nothingness and those that use them seldom accomplish anything.” – Author Unknown
Anything that your master needs to give an excuse or reason for should be examined. If it requires that much thought on your part then it doesn’t involve common sense. Avoiding common sense is the number one problem that will get you burned. Don’t accept excuses for why he won’t let you do what you want to do. Take the appropriate action to ensure that you are cared for. While this should simply mean trusting in your master to provide and care for you, if you have red flags, he obviously isn’t. By punishing me, my Master shows that he cares. He wants me to properly learn to behave so that I may achieve my #1 goal of pleasing him. He does so by adjusting any punishment to fit the crime and by allowing me to understand his reasoning – not by making excuses As a bonus, any punishment that ensues is enough to deter me from repeating my poor behavior and at the same time, enjoyable in its own fashion. The use of intelligence can make a large difference when playing this head game. Wisdom and integrity will always rise to the top.
Speaking of integrity, never ever accept a lie. Do not accept any form of punishment beyond which would be enjoyed. Do not allow the humiliation to bring you so low that you can’t come back up. You are a dog. You are the lowest of low – a slave. Hold your head high and be proud of the slave you are! A good Master should be reminding you of this always – and should never bring on the punishment or humiliation so harsh that you truly question your self worth! There is nothing I would want more than to be paraded around on a leash. My punishment comes from not being allowed to please my Master. He understands that while punishment is there to deter us from doing what we wish to not do, it must not be so harsh as to create unhealthy fears. I do not fear my Master for he guides me wonderfully. There is nothing to fear except the awesome power that he exudes over me.
I don’t know how else to explain to you that despite your stature as a slave, you must stop the cycle of abuse. There are too many ‘masters’ out there who can take on unknowing slaves in training and ruin their lives. Fortunately, because of those of us who come before, new slaves can be warned of this treachery and redirected to areas of help. Reach out to those who need it and teach them what it means to walk away. I walked away with the threat of being blackballed by a master who had no other power than fear. I found a wonderful Master who enjoys the power I give him without threats or harassment. That is joy!
