mm just woke up. i am constantly confused by myself. so i was thinking of rochelle constantly last night and i found myself staring at her picture making me get teary eyed. then when i fell asleep i dreamt of ravyn. i kept waking up thinking of rochelle everytime id have a dream and then just fall asleep dreaming of ravyn again. its like when id dream of ravyn then danielle c'ept i was awake when i thought of rochelle. things like that seem to happen to me alot and it confuses the hell out of me.
i think i had some dreams of talking to rochelle online so i did dream of her too, it's just odd. and for some reason i guess i wasn't supposed to go to ravyn's house on week days or soemthing, cuz her step dad saw me walking near her house asking what i was doing there early on a week day and i said i was just going for a walk, then i think i dreamt i was doing something with him which is odd. im sort of getting upset with her memory and my connection to her.
if she isn't going to be there in real life or even give a shit about me let my heart go, let me think about the one who cares for me and wants to be with me. let me dream about the one who would make me happy and stop tormenting me with lies because that's all it is. ravyn will never hold me again, she is better off with out me however painful it is to admit she is. no matter how much she loved me or i loved her she's happier with out it. so leave my heart and let me be happy. meh, i guess it doesn't bother me like it used to or make me that confused just find it weird. guess its almost our two year anniversary im bound to feel it to some extent. *sigh* want to hold rochelle and see if it's more so it can wash it away. or know if it isn't so that we can be comftorable being friends
