Yo, salty piles of whale extrement, and welcome to my latest edition of HackFest, FuBar's best in the slow corruption of the Leviathan that is the Interweb. My name's Captain Saucypants, also known as Law. Today I feel in a bit of a generous mood, so aside from kicking small children into busy crosswalks, I grant you people the honor of experiencing my newest rant on racism.
Now, granted, I am a person who firmly believes that all humanity bears an overwhelming trait of ignorace and stupidity. Hell, you're talking to a person that is a avid and frequent practictioner of Darwin's theory of evolution when he stabs celebrities in the ribcage or drops trucks on public parks. However, the oldest and by far most iditoic social vomit that I have ever come across the misfortune of hearing about is racism.
To those of you that have either experienced brain damage from excessive paint chip swallowing or have lived in your great-grandparent's basement for over three millenia, racism is the belief that one race bears superiority of all races, and thus that race has more rights and priveleges than anyone else. Furthermore, it suggests that this "superior" race bears divine justification in mistreating and otherwise abusing other races. To this I say bullshit. Pure, unadulterated, liquid secretion from the depths of my underbowel bullshit.
First off, allow me to say that it is IMPOSSIBLE for any human race to be superior to any other. We are, in essence, all of the same genetic make-up. Granted, we do have small alterations to certain aspects of our physical bodies, we all bleed the same color and require the same basic needs of life: Food, water, shelter, etc. It is a heinous and otherwise insane claim to dictate that one race is better than the other due to such a simple thing as skin pigment.
Furthermore, and this part especially goes out to any hardcore racists that are actually reading this, anyone who believes and follows this mantra, in any way, shape, or form, is someone who should be firmly cleansed from the mortal coil with a rusty spoon, some Ajax, and a wind chime. How could you honestly hold dear the idea that just because you're white, black, or any other crazed race, you have rights above and beyond the grand scale of the Great Design? For this, you deserve to be completely contortioned into the shape of a pretzel by ALL members of ALL races. In fact, I propose this, you racist piles of anthrax-ridden donkey crap: Go and spew forth some of that rhetoric in the deepest ghettos of this fine country of ours. I guarantee within one minute of your speech, someone's going to brain you, proceed to feed you your own tongue, and make a tap-dance on your vital organs until the bone protecting them shatters.
The message is clear, people: Race is NOT an issue anymore. It is the content of one's character and fiber that should matter. Those that state that race is a factor base their conclusions on a set group in a set area, not on the race in kind. Despite that, even if the statistics show one race to be inferior, there are ALWAYS exceptions to the rule. Don't let one bad apple or group of bad apples spoil the bunch. Let me just drop some napalm on the little turds and watch them put themselves out on each other. It's priceless.
All right, homies, I'm done here. Read the next installment of HackFest or be banished to the Plane of Unconsentional Sex for Fleshies. Ta.
