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Greetings, flatulent substitutes for goat cheese, and welcome to a much overdo HackFest. If you don't know who I am by this particular issue, congratulations, you've just made my "People who need to be wiped from the gene pool" list.
Many of you actual fans have been wondering for a long time when I was going to actually post commentary and editorials on recent events, such as the death of Michael Jackson and other things that light up your evening. Though I've tried desperatly to steer clear of those minefields, you people have been brazenly leading me back there through fan mail, so I decided to indulge you clods a bit and actually chose a relevant subject for the devastation that is the rant. That subject, as much as this pains me to do so, is on Iran.
Now the subject remains to be seen as to how the revolt in Iran will exactly go. Apparently, or at least from my knowledge, the Iranian government has been turned on its ear faster than Paris Hilton at a Chippendale's concert armed with lube due to the fact that accusations of a rigged election have placed some American-hating dictator back into office. What gets me is not the actual revolts, but the prattling of U.S. officials that something must be down in Iran. I, for one, want to beat each and every one of those turd-mongers in the head with a uranium shovel.
The way I see it, the U.S. has interfered with enough countries and their governments for a lifetime. I mean, we completely dropped the ball in Iraq, and look where that got us: Mountains of debt that our current prez is still trying to clean up. If that weren't enough, every country that has had U.S. intervention wants to set up an embassy and a Starbucks there. As if our hypocritical B.S. wasn't enough, now we have to give third world countries crappy coffee, too?!
Listen, here. We have enough problems of our own as middle-class Americans without having to hear all this bullshit about Iran and other countries in peril. Maybe if our government actually looked at who exactly was paying their fat f-ing salaries they'd second-guess the whole thing and start trying to get some more revenue for our country. Instead of relying on bailouts and other countries, why not try to create some solutions for the problems we ALREADY have?!?!
Back to Iran. I say let the country sort out the crap it needs to. If they kill off their entire population, great! We get first dibs on oil from there, and we can build a Middle-Eastern Disneyland there. What I'm saying here is let them sort it out. If they have an American-hating sociopath for a prez, that's their eggs and coffee. Why should we meddle in the affairs of this country to set some "shining example" when we are the biggest bigots and hypocrites in the world?
Don't get me wrong. I love this country and the freedoms it gives to us common folk, but it's the way the boat's sailed that bothers me. I mean, is it just me, or is it that every election we have we choose only one guy from two political parties and completely ignore the other guys whose ideas ACTUALLY MAKE SENSE?! (Yes, Ron Paul fans, I'm talking to you!!)
Case in point: Leave Iran to its own devices. Let them duke it out and completely stomp each other out of existence. Gives me a great excuse to steal their crap and gain some black market organs.
That's it for HackFest tonight. Read the next issue, when I feel like wriiting it, or be subjected to licking the scrotum of a hairy man with lice. Ta.
