Over 16,530,170 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?
Hey, there, unwashed anal probes, and welcome to another edition of HackFest. I'm not going to bother with an introduction right now seeing as how I am SEETHING over my particular topic of the day: PARENTS!
Now, this rant isn't targeted at parents as a whole. There are some great parents out there who happen to have logical sense and treat their kids fairly and with a decent amount of respect. These same parents also seem to have a healthy look at the world and understand that a slip of the tongue here or a chuckle at a dirty joke there isn't going to destroy their children or lives, and indulge in life just like any other sane person would. Those parents deserve to be showered with non-poinsoned sugary confections and money of the not-counterfeit variety (from what country is up to the person giving it. EXCHANGE RATES SUCK, PEOPLE!).
No, this rant goes out to those OTHER parents. You people know the ones I'm talking about. They either hold their kids so close to them they deny them any real world experience or neglect them in such a way that they grow up to be foul-mouthed little retard-fuckers who cause more damage to society than the good ones try to heal. To the unfit stewarts of children, THIS ONE'S TO YOU!
Now, to the overprotective group, I will say this: Being a parent myself, I can understand to an extent what you are trying to do. You want to protect your kids as much as humanly possible and defend them when they can't defend themselves. That's admirable. However, denying them the world doesn't make you a fit parent. It makes you unfit because you don't want your kids to grow properly. This is the same group that, when you tell them this, go off on a rampage telling you that you're "not qualified" to tell them how to raise their child. Are you serious? You know, you suffocate your kid, then when someone offers their opinion of your parenting style, you feel justified to explode at them for giving their critique? You peoople really sicken me. By denying your child some room to grow, you risk damaging them for life. Pretty soon, by the time that little turd of yours gets to be 16 or so, he or she have had so many pent-up anger and dependancy issues that they transform into some dranged serial killer! If you want your kid to be the next Norman Bates, sheep-fuckers, then continue down the path you're going! You're doing a great job, and when those same kids murder you in your sleep with a rusted chain-saw, you'll know your life's work was a success.
Speaking of malicious murder, it brings me right into my other group of dumbass failures of parents: The negligent parents. These asshole parents allow their lives to continue, either ignoring the fact that they have children or only acknowledging them when they do wrong. They see their kids as a boon in the eyes of others, but when those people disappear they go right back to shoving their "little darlings" into a corner and never tending to them as parents should. Then, when something happens to them, like they kidnapped, murdered, or whatever the fuck sickos in windowless white vans do to them, they always scream out in protest of their actions and always claim to be the "victim." Give me a fucking break, you shit-spawn of reject donkey punchers! You neglected your duties as a parents for well into this poor kid's life, and then when something happened on your watch, you suddenly become the concerned parent?! WHAT KIND OF BACKWARDS WORLD ARE YOU LIVING ON?!?! Oh, and don't let the brats grow up, man. They themselves continue the cycle of horrible parenting by neglecting their own kids, and so on and so forth until there's a line of these anal butterchunks of demonspawn running around here acting tough and destroying society. Then, when someone points out to these rejects that maybe their actions would be a bit harmful to their person, they immediately go to the most violent solution because they don't know how to logically compete with your average person! You people sicken me. Really, you do. Either be a fucking parent or give up your kid for adoption. PICK ONE AND GO WITH IT!! Even better, let me make the choice, because my choice would have your reproductive organs violently ripped from your nether-regions as they had been tied to a rocket AIMED FOR THE MOON!!
To the great parents out there who do what good parents do, more power to you. To the horrible mentions of parents I did in fact call out, I have a suggestion. Go play Whack-A-Mole on top of a 2-ton ATOM BOMB! That way, not only are we not denied the entertainment of watching you disintegrate to nothing, but we also have a high possibility of wiping out a good degree of some other bad parents in the making (or, you know, the whole population of North Dakota. Take your pick).
That's it for this edition. Read the next one or I'll shove a mutant baby into your urethra/uterus. Ta.
