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CantSleepClownsWillEatMe's blog: "Broken"

created on 03/09/2009  |  http://fubar.com/broken/b282901

For those that dont know I got engaged last week, it was suppose to be an open engagement for now but, we have technically set a date for this Nov 12th, as long as the pastor is free that day :) We got our wedding bands tonight I had to share my news!!!!

Got this tat last week

 


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I am sure those of you that are friends have noticed the unhappy face status alot lately.... just a brief explanation....I have been dealing with alot of depression and anxietly lately. We moved a few weeks ago into a different apartment and its still not feeling like home for some reason.... I miss my old neighbors..... When I wake up during the week, I head over to the old neighbors for coffee and hang out there till I have other appointments or until the boyfriend gets off work, I know it sounds weird, its weird to me as well. They put me on another anxiety med, one that I dont like to be on, suppose to be on it 3x's a day but I basically take it at bedtime cuz it makes me tired. Another issue I am dealing with is my legs are hurting me big time lately....not just my knees but I have been waking up with my hips hurting as well and hip shit runs in my family, my grandfather had his replaced twice, my mom had her's done, same as my uncle and that shit scares me! I guess the only thing I can say about that is that I see my ortho on Tuesday and I know he is going to say I am too young for any of these surgeries but ffs, I hope he can do something about my knees again, its been a year since I had the arthoscopes done on both knees and they are just as bad, I walk very slowly, I am only 41 and walk like I am 71 or older! I have a cane and dont want to use it but its getting to the point where I am going to have to start and I am stubborn enough that I dont want to! BLAH BLAH BLAH!! sorry bout my rant just had to get it out.....

How

How do you pretend that you are happy that is over something that is totally tearing you up inside yet you have to *pretend* to be happy or you will push this person "YOUR KID" away? I cant really explain this right now, especially not right now, all I can say is this is tearing me up from the ground up! Yet nothing she is doing is really wrong......ugh I wish I could explain this more :(

 

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I don't feel old enough to have a kid turning 21 on Valentine's day.......

 

 

thats all!

I won a bread maker yesterday @ BINGO and I am officially making my 1st loaf of bread ever!!! It's Sweetened Cranberry bread!!!  YAY ME!!

I am so sick of since I had my surgery on my right knee back in November of not being able to walk. All I had done was a scope and grrrr, I swear my knee is worse now then it was before the scope and especially with the cold, all I want to do is cry...

Oh wait, done that already...

 

Nuff said...

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