my thoughts Blog by Rudi
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Rudi's blog: "my thoughts"

created on 12/06/2010  |  http://fubar.com/my-thoughts/b338145  |  1 followers

I've lost all feelings,
in my hands and feet.
My heart has stopped,
not even one beat.
Her hands are cold,
as they sink into my heart.
My soul is gone,
ripped apart.
I feel real pale
and sick and blue.
This can't be happening.
Is this true?
She told me she loved me,
forever and always.
My heart she broke,
thinking of all those days.
My thoughts aren't clear,
my eyes full of hate.
This is how we all die
and how we relate. 
I am the one who loves your heart,
The one who still believes,
with kept promises and Souls released.
The one who knows the real name of love...
Still never asks and waits a while for your smile.
The one far behind but walking for you
You made the distance though i love it, 
with no regretting instance.
The one with such a tough heart,
the one with many tears left 
loves you the same as he used to.
The one who never falls with dreams around,
loves you the most,
though someone better you found
The one with real pain who never stopp,
The one with only love,
For you.... and always remains

Dear Tawnya,
I loved you. I don’t know how I can state it any more plainly. I loved you for everything I thought you were, and for everything that I became when I was with you. 
When we were together, I felt truly happy and complete in a way that I had never felt before. Being with you recontextualized everything that I thought I knew about love, and I came to understand that while I had felt love in the past, it was only a shadow of what real love could be. 
Now, I don’t honestly believe that I will ever find someone who I can feel that same love for, and with that realization, I can find very little motivation to experience the future at all. 
The two of us related on a level that went beyond simple emotion or base attraction. We made our connection on a truly spiritual level, which is something so rare as to be unique in our lives, and something that I believed was worth trying to hold onto. 
I loved you the moment i met you, like all the pieces were falling into place. i always felt like i had been waiting for something, something bigger than myself, and when i met you i just knew instinctively that you were what i had been waiting for. i’d never believed that love existed, i thought it was just chemical, but i couldn’t breathe if you weren’t next to me i couldn’t think, i couldn’t function. i felt like an idiot, you made me feel like an idiot.
And now is it done.
Done for that other man in your life ?
Done why i am in Germany and you in the States ?
Done, In the while i was figure out how i can stay there ?
Now when i was sure to marry you in 2011

You broke my heart

No longer i feel the music of your voice
In my dreams i hear a massive noise
Always wondering, Whatever i ment to you ?
Was i just a bait ,When i felt something true ?
Just cause i did so much ,I thought you loved me too
Now im left alone ,Crying,

How could you

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