CantSleepClownsWillEatMe's blog: "Blah"

created on 02/16/2008 | http://fubar.com/blah/b189444

posted on 02/21/2008&nbs-08:00;@&nbs-08:00;02:02&nbs-08:00;pm

broken
http://fubar.com/broken/b189444-714043

Wishful thinking for things to change but they haven't budged.....

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posted on 02/20/2008&nbs-08:00;@&nbs-08:00;10:02&nbs-08:00;pm

no title
http://fubar.com/no-title/b189444-713425

Well today I am hiding from my emotions..... sleep doesn't seem to really help but thats what I have been doing off and on all day. I hate this waiting game..... I sent him a text in some hopes for a response, but nope, none.... He has to know what he is doing to me, I lived with him for 6 months he has to know how I respond to situations like this.... My heart literally feels like it is being ripped from my chest.... can one make them self sick from stress? ====================================

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posted on 02/19/2008&nbs-08:00;@&nbs-08:00;02:02&nbs-08:00;pm

.......
http://fubar.com/-/b189444-712117

Today does not seem any better then yesterday. In fact, it feels a little bit worse. How can I learn to hide my crying eyes and emotions? I want to be able to block them out from other people, but it seems I can't. Last night I jumped on a very close friend, and it hurt me more knowing I did that. I wish I could block things out like he can. Be able to set my mind to different things and have things to do. Unfortunately at this moment in my life, being a puppet on a string I don't have the capability to be doing other things. Last night I took 3 tylenol pm's. Sure they helped me sleep but they didn't stop the pain when I woke. How can I fall asleep in tears and wake up in tears? The walls I once had now are totally dimenished and gone. This may sound funny but at least I have American Idol to look forward to tonight, something to take my mind off of things even if it is just for an hour. Rudi you do own my heart and soul..........

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posted on 02/18/2008&nbs-08:00;@&nbs-08:00;12:02&nbs-08:00;pm

The way I am
http://fubar.com/the-way-i-am/b189444-711048

The Way I Am lyrics If you were falling, then I would catch you. You need a light, I'd find a match. Cuz I love the way you say good morning. And you take me the way I am. If you are chilly, here take my sweater. Your head is aching, I'll make it better. Cuz I love the way you call me baby. And you take me the way I am. I'd buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair. Sew on patches to all you tear. Cuz I love you more than I could ever promise. And you take me the way I am. You take me the way I am. You take me the way I am. Yes I love him like this :(

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posted on 02/18/2008&nbs-08:00;@&nbs-08:00;09:02&nbs-08:00;am

rambles
http://fubar.com/rambles/b189444-710882

How can I feel like one man controls my heart? How can I pretend to smile when I feel like I am dying inside. When I am the one that was childish to begin the fight, yet he is the stubborn one that won't let it end. I know I am a hug baby, its only been a little over 24 hrs since the fight begun, yet I am so not a fighter. Right now I am feeling like a part of me has died. Trying to sleep it away, but that doesnt help, it just makes the nights longer and more miserable. Have you ever felt like a puppet on a string? Like one individual controls your destiny and it is not you? Sure I am able to write into my destiny, but I don't feel like I control it..... Said to much.... Sad songs always make me cry....