Today does not seem any better then yesterday. In fact, it feels a little bit worse. How can I learn to hide my crying eyes and emotions? I want to be able to block them out from other people, but it seems I can't. Last night I jumped on a very close friend, and it hurt me more knowing I did that.
I wish I could block things out like he can. Be able to set my mind to different things and have things to do. Unfortunately at this moment in my life, being a puppet on a string I don't have the capability to be doing other things. Last night I took 3 tylenol pm's. Sure they helped me sleep but they didn't stop the pain when I woke. How can I fall asleep in tears and wake up in tears? The walls I once had now are totally dimenished and gone.
This may sound funny but at least I have American Idol to look forward to tonight, something to take my mind off of things even if it is just for an hour.
Rudi you do own my heart and soul..........
====================================
