1041pm
I don't know where to begin. Ok so it's been a long time since I've typed up one of my blog entries. Hmm there has been so much happening to me as of late, again I wouldn't know where to begin.
I guess I am overwhelmed and have mixed feelings. I seriously have been wanting to cry, but I've held it in and it's not healthy to do it. Trust me, I know... I've been there so many times. Last Christmas was a lot better for me than this current one. Then again Christmas hasn't happened, well I guess I meant to say the holidays, per se.
Sometimes, I wonder if I've done anything to harm anyone. When I look back and think and reflect upon my life, I can't find a damn thing.
Maybe it's time for me to realize that I'll always be screwed in one way or another. This past year was no exception at all. I mean dude, like I said if I were to keep writing, err, I mean typing then I wouldn't know where to stop. It's just crazy.
Ok so this past February was the last time I saw my ex. The last time I was with him was back in March. We got notified at work we had 60 days to look for another job. I decided I'd stay until the last day. It sort of worked out b/c that last weekend I found another job. As far as I knew, I was the only person in my company to start off that same weekend after our company closed. Then again, I also realized, if everything would've gone on as I sort of didn't plan, then I would've been due in July, but that's a different story for another time.
Ok so FFWD, it's December and I've been at my job with the law firm since April. For most people it's good, wanna know why? Because I was at my previous job for 4yrs, so 8 months here is nothing, but then again I'm 4 months closer to making it 1 full year. I can't wait.
Anywho, my baby brother came back in May from Ohio and ended up staying with us. Needless to say, he got in a car accident in my car back in October. I needed and wanted to get a 2nd opinion so I did and that was that. The car wasn't taken away until mid November. I barely just got my car back. I got screwed over on the deductible he was supposed to pay for but him and I worked out an agreement. So now he's paid me for at least 250. Not that bad. Ooh and did I mention the fact that the tranny to my other car, the car I bought a long time ago but was about to sell, broke?!?!?!?! What kind of shit is that?
Going back a bit further, I spent a lonely b-day this past September. I realized who my real friends are and they weren't who I thought they were... That's the way life is. I mean these are people who called me 3 weeks before my bday basically at the beginning of the month and asked what I'd be doing that weekend, and told me not to make any plans and said they'd handle it. Well nothing happened. Not even a freakin call or text :(
Yeah, yeah, you're probably thinking by now stop whining, or stop complaining. Maybe others might say, "Wow that's fucked up!"
So lonely summer, lonely b-day, lonely October, and now lonely Thxgvg past and lonely Christmas. oh well, as I've told my close peeps, "C'est la vie!" Because it's true, That's life! Asi es la vida.
Again I haven't done anything to harm anyone, yet a lot of people have brought me much pain. As most know, at least those who have kept up with my blog... I don't get along with my family. At all! I seriously don't. If you really want to know why, then you'll send me a message but frankly it's too much for me to type up at the current moment. My hands and fingers are freezing up. It's cold outside and the living room is quite cold and I get cold easily. Sad huh? I don't know what to say or think or write anymore. I need to gather my thoughts before I go to sleep.
Anywho, from the bottom of my heart, I truly wish everyone a wonderful holiday season, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year with yours and your loved ones. I, too, was once merry but it's been years since I've actually celebrated the true meaning of the holidays... Let's just say 13yrs and counting... Until then folks!!! 1054pm PST
