Boobalicious Paper Doll's blog: "2011"

6:26pm PST

Yes, as you may have noticed I usually time stamp something I start typing out.  It's been a habit of mine since I started an old blog when I was 15, but it has closed down since then.

So anywho, I went out with my friends last night.  I got a phone call out of the blue.  I hadn't seen my ex since January even though the last time we actually spoke was in February.

I thought it would've been somewhat awkward since there was quite a bit of weirdness when we last spoke.  Anywho, his birthday is on Monday.  He is going to be 34.  Yes, I know he's still young.  He always puts himself down.  I don't know why though.  He was telling me how he missed me but didn't want to be in a relationship because he feels he has nothing to offer.

If he didn't have anything to offer, then I wouldn't have been with him the time I was.  One look at him last night reminded me he is still the same guy I last spoke to, though I noticed there was a sparkle in his eye when he saw me.  I haven't really changed at all.  Sure, I've been more social lately.  I've been going out of town (well mainly Santa Barbara, San Diego, San Marcos, Oceanside, Escondido, and Highland)...  Other than that, just been busy with the work thing.  I have a job I like and am not trying to jeopardize it in any way whatsoever.  So we got to talking for a bit.

Last night reminded me of the movie I recently saw, "Friends With Benefits," the one with Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis.  You know how they just happen to just hook up like nothing, well that's how I started with him too, but of course we didn't have our fairytale ending.  I didn't expect us to, though I'll admit I still care about him, though I don't 'love' him.  Since I was home alone, I invited him in at which time he accepted.

We got to talking, and well, one thing led to another, and due seriously I wanted to laugh, but kept grinning.  Not because of what was going on, but because there was just something about him that threw me off.  And well, needless to say, I didn't really go to sleep until early this morning.  I'm running on 4 hrs of sleep.

I thought everything was fine with us, but he still text me from work and said thanks and said he wanted to hang out and would like to invite me to dinner.  I feel flattered, but I took it just how I saw it, more like a one time thing, though it's not, but more like a b-day present lol.  I know that sounds a bit harsh, but I don't want him to get stuck on me and then feel like he has nothing to offer as he had already mentioned.

he does a lot though... he has two little girls he takes care of.  His job cut his hours, and I've asked if he considered looking for another job so he can feel better about himself.  He has a car, is employed, plays baseball, and overall a family guy.  The reason I stopped seeing him was simple and he knew it.  I currently don't have my own place at all (not that it should matter) but in the long term/run it seriously matters.  And well, I am just being up front and honest.  He told me he got jealous a couple of times he read my facebook status whenever I went on a date and said he wishes it were him and not some other guy.  C'est la vie *sighs* 6:36pm

11:17pm PST

Just because I felt like writing tonight...  I usually don't write unless I have something to say.  I thought I'd be original and just let me thoughts flow and see what I come up with.

Though you're not here, doesn't mean you're not missed
You left our side
Yet you're never gone
You remain alive because you live in our hearts

I sit and wonder what would've been
yet, you can't go back and change what was

This time around it gets easier to remember
Yet it gets harder to forget
You knew how I felt about you
Yet, you're no longer here

I often think about the misadventures we'd have
Then again, you weren't given a fair chance
You are now an angel in the sky
I'll always love you and miss you
Hope it doesn't die.

I love you dear sister, you're always missed
Someday, I promise
We'll live in eternal bliss.

___________________
11:20pm PST

This was all I had to write.... 

9:51pm PST

So I decided to go out to a Salsa class right?  I mean I have been on and off for the past couple of weeks.  I decided I would stay longer.  OMGosh the partner I had made me feel really dumb and there were other chicks who couldn't even carry a beat.  So I kept dancing the steps the professor taught us.  He kept stopping me everytime there was an extra turn.  Apparently, I wasn't the only one he stopped.  I kept insisting that after one of our steps, there was a twirl where he had to let go while stepping back and me step forward.

Ugh... huge mistake.  I never felt so uncomfortable and out of place.  And then he had to nerve to tell me that he'd been to other classes, and that he's intermediate close to expert.  I'm like well, you should be considerate cuz most of us are barely learning. 

He just went on and on and on about himself each and everytime we partnered up.  You see, you are supposed to switch partners.  So the way the instructor does it is she asks the guys to move to their left and the girls remain in their places.  I met a couple cool peeps, but still ugh... he is the type of guy i avoid altogether.

Needless to say, I will not take the Thursday night class and will simply keep the Tuesday night class.  Sure it's $6 per class, but hey it's fun and I get to network and it's about a mile and a half away from my job.  Granted, it means I have to stay late at work on Tuesdays *sighs* but the pay off will be amazing.

What do you think?  Salsa, or no salsa?  Or should I make my own salsa *giggles* ok ok bad joke!  I get it.  Nighty night =) 9:56pm

1:26am

Guess you can call this the epic fail of nights...  

I thought I would have a fun Friday night game in San Diego (yes away from L.A.) especially with Carmageddon and stuff happening.

So one of my closest friends, who is like a bestie, but more like a bro, invited me to watch the Giants play at Petco Park.  Pitcher matchup of the night was Dustin Moseley against Tim Lincecum.  I have a teensy weensy crush on Tim.  Anywho, I thought it would be great to go and have fun while watching a game...  No I'm not a trader to my team, they just didn't play in town.

Anywho, my jaw just about dropped when I read my fb status as to who was at the game.  I disregarded it.  I thought, nah, nowhere close to me so I'll be fine.

Nope, I was dead wrong.  He was a few rows away from where my friend and I were sitting, plus it was obvious he was on a date.  I was literally mortified.  Here I was trying to have a good and fun time watching America's greatest pasttime (aside from football which still is not in season)...  Talk ish with my friend about my week and stuff, and no, the "other" guy was a few rows away in the next section within eye view of each other.  I told my friend I was gonna leave, but knowing me I was not about to miss an epic butt whooping!

And then, later on to top it off...  My song (well requested song) was played during the 6th inning.  Mind you, I had originally requested "All Shook Up" by Elvis Presley... but later re-tweeted another request and asked for "What is Love?" by Haddaway and my twitter name was blasted in front of 42k people.  *sighs*  Normally that would be an epic win (Since I am a die hard Dodgers fan, was secretly a Padres fan so I wouldn't feel like an oddball out at Petco Park, who was rooting for the SF Giants to win), but it was an epic personal fail b/c of the other guy being there.  I mean, he's a db anyway...  but I had no freakin clue we'd be at the same exact game.

*sighs*

This is my blog for the night.  I'll add more details soon.  If you're a true friend, hit me up on sb or PM me and I'll let you know the rest =) 1:33am

2:02am ... just sharing something I posted as a 'note' on FB.

1:23am

OMGosh I have never been as scared as I was just about an hour ago.  So I am taking my usual exit to go home and stuff.  I literally stopped about 4-5 seconds at the stop sign off the exit.  I took the turn, and bam, them CHP who turned the other corner just before I did, busted a bitch and put the lights on me.

Let me give you a re-cap of the night so to speak.  I went to Marcos's house (Pris's boyfriend) for the shindig for his dad.  It was cool.  There was mariachi and music and stuff.  You know a cozy little family type gathering, which btw thanks for the invite you guys.  I had fun!  So I'm not going to go into what I drank right?  Anywho, I ate food.  Mole, rice, a little bit of the beans, cake, and ice cream.  I only had lemonade afterwards.  Later on, however, I decided to get some tortilla chips and some nacho cheese, cuz some other guy who had them made it look good, so I craved some.  I don't remember having eating anything else afterwards.  We all left at around close to 10 something and said we'd go to Anarchy.  This was Marcos, David (Marcos' uncle), and Pris.  Of course, she drove her car and I drove mine.  

We got to Anarchy, had a blue moon, and then I was dared and talked into drinking "the blackout", which is a drink Richie makes.  I kinda supposedly drank half, which I didn't because I actually spit the rest of it into my blue moon bottle.  I know ick... well I didn't want to drink it anyway esp. b/c I was driving. 

So we danced and stuff, time passes by, I really don't have a drink until later later one.  Some chicks bought a round, they had an extra one, so I finished the one they bought me.  I kind of baby sat this one.  My friends will tell you, I'm not much of a beer drinker anyway.  (BTW good thing there weren't any shots to take)...

I end up dancing a bit again, then went outside for some air, and then came back in when I ran into a new but old friend.  New in the sense I barely know him but old in the sense I met him less than a couple of months ago.  So we chit-chat for a bit.  I asked Pris to cover for me b/c I didn't want to talk to him very much.  So we all left and stuff!

I think it was about 12:30ish or so I believe when we all left.  So I took my time getting home, especially b/c my phone wasn't charging at all.  By this time, my phone was dead.  As soon as I get off the exit, that is when my not so fun misadventure starts.

I get the lights flashed on me asking to pull over.  I drove into an empty parking lot.  Was told to stay inside the car until I was asked to get out.  I quickly forked over my ID.  They asked if I knew why I was stopped and I said, the STOP sign.  Though I knew I had stopped longer, but they begged to differ.

I was told what was going to happen next.  One of the two officers asked if I had drank, and I said yes.  One of them said he could smell it on me, which I know was not true at all, but whatever.  I walked away from the car and near their patrolling unit.  I was asked a series of questions, where I went, who I was with, am I sick, do I take any meds, drugs, etc.  I answered all their questions.  What happened next is something I was not too proud nor fond of.  Obviously this had turned into a DUI stop instead of a routine stop.  

I was asked if I knew what city I was in, what cross streets we were currently at, what freeway we were next to, the walking test (where you put your foot in front of the other - heel to toe fashion), asked me the same questions they asked previously but posed differently, asked me to follow his finger while they flash my eyes, asked me to stand straight with my hands straight down & lift one foot off the ground 6-7" and count until they told me to stop, and even had me hold my head back and count what I thought was 30 seconds.  I think they wanted to see if I would literally tilt over.  I think the reason they went beyond the eye test was because they felt my eyes kind of staggered.  Think about it, you're on a semi empty freeway, it's dark except for the regular lights, I wasn't speeding, and the street itself is dim.  Why else would my eyes not stagger a bit, especially when I am drained from the long day I had just a few hours before.  Dude, they even asked me to take the breathalyzer.  I took it with good faith.  It was truly the most awful experience I had.  I was told that if I didn't check out, obviously this would go on my record, blah blah blah.  I was asked the same questions about 3 different times altogether.  My license and license plates were ran, and everything checked out fine.  As soon as I took the breathalyzer, I was sent on my merry way home.  

I know this may be routine for them, but not for me.  I was scared out of my wits.  In the back of my mind I kept thinking what I did wrong, how I should've handled it, would anything be different, etc.  I just let HIM take it into his hands.  I felt him there protecting me.  I know it sounds cliche though...  

Thank goodness I wasn't given a ticket for the stop sign...  just a simple warning.  But seriously... that was not fun at all.  I will admit something though, the guy giving me all the DUI test is/was cute, as is his partner.  It was just humiliating all the same because I now know what people go through all the time.  It was cute how the 2nd officer said, "Well, you don't have to worry anymore.  Let's just say if you were graded, you passed with an 'A' and I hope you make it safely back home."  I don't know if he was being sincere or sarcastic, but I am glad I was not given a fine or a ticket or had to call anyone to drive the car back home or any of that stuff.  *knocks on wood & counts her blessings*

Someone is always watching me and making sure I get home safe and sound and in one piece. =) 1:45am