A sea of grey approaches the tranquil sands of my youth.
Innocence was swallowed by sorrow.
Hope was drowned by a deluge of suffering.
The thirsty cracked dirt drank the bitter liquid of defeat, the empty, peaceful wastes rapidly becoming coast...
I sat there, watching from the edge.
The greedy sea stretching for my bare toes.
Wanting to drag me under,
a riptide with no promising emptiness to hide in.
Only the overbearing thickness pulling me under.
The dread downpour of a tidal wave.
Hurricanes.
Typhoons.
It's all gathering, spiraling, waiting for me.
I never asked it to come this close.
I never asked for my paradise to be devoured by the unwelcome unkind.
I never
asked for this.
The sea cackles, toying, advancing, retreating,
giddy with its flowing promise of a threat.
Meanwhile, what is needed to battle this,
what is meant to destroy,
I have left bound, screaming and snarling, to the outside of a cage.
He must not leave the under-id unchecked.
Not yet.
Not until we understand that silent darkness behind the locks.
Not until we know how to erase it.
I fear this new creature...
This >id, -id
The rage of the inner,
the raw immorality of that man,
I understand, I have known that skinless selfishness my whole life.
This under-id, this darkness he bitterly but dutifully guards me from-
I am curious, and repulsed.
Aware, and afraid.
but will I wind up eyeless and lifeless like
Odin?
Who will weep for me enough to bring me back after all questions are answered?
Do I stand to gain more by stabbing this darkness blindly
or understanding it, and embracing it
gently loosing the tendrils of guardianship on my raging friend,
and becoming this new unknown.
