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Ick R Us's blog: "Somantics"

created on 05/23/2010  |  http://fubar.com/somantics/b332752  |  11 followers

and I've come to a succinct, and powerful realization...

I feel profoundly defeated by my life.

I thought for a while.

I always felt that if I stopped fighting for even ten minutes I'd lose.

I lost a long time ago.

I asked myself if I was defeated.
I am.

Death is but death.
Defeat is but defeat.

I'm defeated.
Can I come back?












I'm not dead.

Defeat is not the end.
Defeat is not even a pause.

With that being said.
Somantics is now closed. I hope you'll follow the next chapter.

I typically post a defiant yawp, burning with resolve and fighting spirit.

I don't think that's going to happen this time.

I think that's okay.

Every seed planted, doesn't sprout.
Every sprout doesn't grow.
Every tree doesn't bear fruit...

Some just wither to dust, he wondered what name they were calling him now...
Some far off, distant thing.
Started with a D?

"Captain?"
Davretor...
the name was Davretor this time.
"Hmm?" He had trimmed his beard and knixed the waggling pony tail of his faux-lordship. Trading white cloth gloves for studded leather and iron once again.
This new suit though... it creaked and whined with every move, no damn good.
He began to contemplate protection over sound... it'd have to depend on the day, the mission, and the weather.
So much depended on the weather.

He had a faint suspicion that while he fussed over his armor, the junior officer addressing him wouldn't actually keep talking.
"This isn't regular army, get that stick out of your ass before someone helps you breathe through your neck- speak! I can do two things at once"
The man he bought the armor from absolutely refused to distress wear, or break in the the joints for him... old gloves really are the best. No one ever says "fits me like a NEW boot". Davretor suddenly had an awareness of his distaste for "craftsmen".
"New orders sir! Your platoon is to cover the advancing flank with support fire and mop up any stragglers"
"...you mean deserters?" The young courier jarred a bit under his helmet.
"In addition... you are to discourage any faltering in the advancing ranks with lethal means if necessary"
"So... you want me to put a spear to the backs of some farmer's son drafted into your meaningless war and pick through the wounded like some grisly vulture that can't wait for lunch?" Davretor eyed the young officer. He had probably never raised a sword in anger or righteousness in his entire life.
And based on his breeding, fair skin, twinkling eyes, and that glistening new armor smell...
he probably never would.
"Sounds great!" He clapped his hands on his knees and popped up, forgetting he was in a particularly squat tent and managing to brush his head with coarse cloth which caused him to instinctively jerk out of the way. His previous accomodations were much more glamorous. Marble floors, columns, booming halls and echoing ceilings. He even had a butler... a butler! Someone to buttle for him and say "good day sir" and "as you wish sir".
Things were so stable, so regular... so easy.
But with Catherine gone...
He pawed absently at the pierced, tough flesh on his abdomen.
Went right for the liver and kidneys...
"God I miss her." He said looking straight through the messenger.
The boy was already terrified of the mercenary commander, hearing tale of his exploits in combat around campfires, and witnessing first hand how Davretor could put his hand through a full oak-bound keg of ale and lift it with one arm.
Let nothing come between that man's soldiers and their ale.
Not even the stingiest corks.
... Though a hammer, drill, or hatchet would've done the job more neatly.

He was the stuff of bad dreams on the battlefield.
Someone said he pulled an arrow that struck him through his hand and threw it back at his assailant striking him dead before he even realized he had fallen off his horse.
A close friend of a good buddy, of a new acquaintance claims he saw the captain speaking tongues and made the earth bleed where his devilish words fell.
A whole squad swears he drinks the blood of the fallen, and eats his wounded to keep his men's souls trapped in eteranl servitude.

Two of these statements were in fact true.

However Davretor was not aware of the soldier still in his tent, and the young man took this as a sign that he should step very quickly and quietly away. He should then return to his pretty fiance, and the house of his mother and father immediately after this little scuffle he had volunteered for with dreams of adventure and chivalrous battle only to be met by mud that must be scrubbed, things barely considered food, snide lords made officers for the week swilling wine and commanding at great distance of anything but numbers against numbers, charts against graphs- and one dangerously eccentric monster who bedded in a field tent dressed in a man's skin and cavalier grin.

[WOTS4 Not as crazy this time]  (edit | delete)

Oh man...
So

I was right about the stance thing.
Its variations to your existing stances (IE 5 varations of mid side etc)

but the awesome thing
the awesome fucking thing is

these new stances unlock boni.

...*rolls eyes* bonuses.

(it should be boni).

Apparently while you're in certain stances you can get modifiers to your stamina. I'm sure there's other ones like stamina recovery, health recovery (this would be "so ninja"). And sheathe/draw animations are different.

Minor changes, but... essentially confirming my suspicions. I still think I prefer this system >>
In Wots1 I ran around with a generic green sword with a high damage throw.
In Wots2 I used the zankimaru since it was the longest blade on a draw stance weapon. Quick- and hit 7 people at once (which sometimes snapped the blade)
I would've much rather used a slightly longer red lacquer blade or the daikuronoma 100% of the time.

*sigh*
I can't wait to pick a sword.
And pick a fighting style for it.
Without it statistically sucking.

Some more facts and details have been released.
No confirmation on gun usage. And apparently someone has managed to get past the "forced event on day 5" to keep playing up to day 20 (with no apparent cap on days or play time).

Draw stance red lacquer shirasaiya

I'm going to be some kind of eternal murder god...

In about a year when this game gets localized.
Hah...
yeah.

I dunno what to do with myself today.

Pine for a game.
Pine for a career.
Eat donuts and make something that has more than just beans in it.
That'll probably be the highlight of my week.
"I didn't just eat beans today".

You should try watching the "30 days" project about minimum wage/poverty level living

Oh man...
So

I was right about the stance thing.
Its variations to your existing stances (IE 5 varations of mid side etc)

but the awesome thing
the awesome fucking thing is

these new stances unlock boni.

...*rolls eyes* bonuses.

(it should be boni).

Apparently while you're in certain stances you can get modifiers to your stamina. I'm sure there's other ones like stamina recovery, health recovery (this would be "so ninja"). And sheathe/draw animations are different.

Minor changes, but... essentially confirming my suspicions. I still think I prefer this system >>
In Wots1 I ran around with a generic green sword with a high damage throw.
In Wots2 I used the zankimaru since it was the longest blade on a draw stance weapon. Quick- and hit 7 people at once (which sometimes snapped the blade)
I would've much rather used a slightly longer red lacquer blade or the daikuronoma 100% of the time.

*sigh*
I can't wait to pick a sword.
And pick a fighting style for it.
Without it statistically sucking.

Some more facts and details have been released.
No confirmation on gun usage. And apparently someone has managed to get past the "forced event on day 5" to keep playing up to day 20 (with no apparent cap on days or play time).

Draw stance red lacquer shirasaiya

I'm going to be some kind of eternal murder god...

In about a year when this game gets localized.
Hah...
yeah.

I dunno what to do with myself today.

Pine for a game.
Pine for a career.
Eat donuts and make something that has more than just beans in it.
That'll probably be the highlight of my week.
"I didn't just eat beans today".

You should try watching the "30 days" project about minimum wage/poverty level living.

I could probably use a cigarette.
No cash in the skin. No fuzz in the shoes.
No rattle in the sofa.
Damn.
Just another jones-a-day blues.

On the right days, in the right mood
an old skewer can take you places.
Keeps your mind off the fact that you haven't lit up
and banished your demons for several days.

Gotta get em out somehow.

Phone's ringing. Phone's still.
Stop expecting me to have something to say.

Some days my lips are cracked, and I'm afraid to smile.
I bet you were expecting some math.
Some rhythm, some flow.

Did I tell you the one about the whistling dervish?
Damn its hard to whistle with a mouth so dry.
Like rolling your face in glass just to ask for directions.
Its a lot like purgatory.

Just keep walking by the same rock...
when all you wanted to see was a bluesman
head to toe in red.

Not for any particularly mischevious metaphor.
Its just that in a sea of gray you miss the bright.
In a song of cold, you want the burn.
In the forced march of life

you just
want to

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, I went to the job interview today...
and I gotta say, I've never been so apprehensive about acing an interview before in my life.

It seems like everything that came out of my mouth was gold.

"what do you consider consumer empowerment in this setting to be?"

I mean, the guy... he was passionate, exciteable attentive and (most of the time) professional.

I could tell his employees and his consumers were his priority- not kissing ass or preserving his position.
When I talked about my last supe, I said we butted heads because I was vocally outspoken against people and policies that I felt were impeding serving our clientel.

He assured me about the job, but at the same time gave me plenty to think about...

This job could be the exact testing bed for me professionally and personally to see if I want to be in this field.
One giant hurdle
one long gauntlet...

I told him I could probably do it.

I really do think I can drive to someone's house that's persistantly mentally ill, and on the cusp of institutionalization, and under the poverty line- and coach them through the crazy in their life. They're here voluntarilly and in my experience these people are cooperative and attentive because they came to you.

Course, I did talk about my arrest in 08, and tried to keep it as facts based not "god this is the worst thing that ever happened to me" thing.
He actually responded pretty well to it, he didn't just raise an eyebrow- draw a line through my app and tell me to piss off.

But yeah... even the parts where I said "I didn't apply for this job, and shit seems a bit crazy in your house with one of your HR people vacating-"

we seemed to have a good biplay.

I did launch into a passion-speach though, and ... it was semi-prepared when I gave it. But it came from a sincere place.
Here's why I'm interested in psycho-social work.
Here's why I think I'd be good at it.
I want to be a clinical researcher.

But he did point something out
that came from his own personal philosophy
he feels you need to have front line experience to be a GOOD therapist.
There are exceptions to every rule, but academia has its merits, and so does mud on your boots.

So what is the job??
... drive up life coach.

I have to go to a client's house and help them with their specific needs and care plan.
They're not cooking for themselves, they're not taking their meds, they're not making it to their meetings/groups/sessions
I have to wrangle.

I can probably do that
he also pointed out that in 8 years had overseeing 100,000 hours+ of attendant care, he hasn't had 1 assault.
And six years in the "controlled environment" people got assaulted regularly
the difference being that in the community you can just drive off.
In the hosptial- you gotta make an airlock for the escalating patient/client.

We agreed on a lot of things...
but... I'm not sure if I want to be at this level. With this pay. For these responsibilities.
Ever.
16 hours guaranteed minimum per week. No benefits.
Schedule made a month ahead of time (clients are responsible to maintain their end of treatment and schedule)
8.50-11/hour.

...
That's awful.
Especially considering the demands of this job.
But its passion, and its also experience for a lot of people.
He said most of his case managers start here.

...
I'd rather bypass this on the merits of my personal knowledge and direct experience with mental illness and education level.
That may not be an option.

I know that I'm going to take the job with KHS if they offer it.
Twice the pay, twice the hours, no benefits is ... so obviously better.

Also- I haven't received notice on any of the other positions with Valeo.
So... who knows maybe this hire process just has their shit together faster. I think I'm better suited to other jobs this guy mentioned within the organization though.
And that's not just me being an arrogant prick.

Alright its not often that I'm too busy enjoying a game to say "wait a fucking minute... this totally ripped off (insert game X)"

.... this is a lie.
I do this with almost every game I own, demo, test, or play at a friend's house.

I could probably sit down and get you 1001 examples of this hackjob shit, but .. instead I'm going to cite the most specific and most irritating one I can come up with.

Deadspace 2 (no... deadspace 2 isn't actually the game I'm ripping it retains enough uniqueness and charm to warrant a playthrough)

Is a copy of -several- games conglomerated into one weird, schizo offspring.

Let's cite the major MAJOR influences first:

I'd say at the top of the list is
System Shock (1 and 2): You run around on an "infected" ship blasting hybrids and mutilated humanoids and advanced types with crude, begged or improvised (and sometimes super tech if you invest in it) weaponry. You have a spritely malcontent leading you about by the balls who HAPPENS TO BE THE MAIN BAD GUY IN THE GAME!!! ... Spoiler alert Deadspace 1 and 2 pull the same twist bullshit. Trust NO ONE in survivor horror. Especially well informed people. I'd say that not only is the setting derived from SS, but so are the enemy designs, purchasing/upgrades, inventory in a shooter game- oh and DS2 implements hacking.... dun dun dun, SS has one of its primary features as hacking. Also- Ghosts. Ghosts abberitions, voices in your head, and a willing MASS cult of people wanting to be hybrids (same for necromorphs).

Next up we have Doom 3 and whatever that doom 3 expac was called:

You're progressively going insane, on a colony, blasting demons and undead (that look a LOT like the necromorphs... more than suspiciously a lot), the demonic marker from DS? Yeah- we'll go ahead and call that the gateway to hell found in zero space. The telekenesis mod? Grabber gun from Halflife 2 WHICH is a MAJOR GAME ELEMENT in Doom 3's expac. Seriously. Its there. It saves your ass! And you can turn enemy attacks on themselves. Next up? Crazy runes and instant metamorphosis of good guys into bad? Having all of your interractions with "survivors" through glass walls (lols they die anyway- DS2 broke this habbit, along with the fact that Isaac didn't effing talk in 1 and neither did the main characters in Doom and SS [Except Chris says the guy in SS makes fun of Shodan as he's blowing her up])
... oh I dunno the statsis module?
Its some kinda kooky doom 3 "relic from hell" but it stops time for you to solve puzzles :/


:/

...

yeah.

Deadspace 2 has three ounces of creativity, and I'll give em to you here.

Weapon design: While having a pulse rifle, grenade launcher, and "ripper" (lols Unreal tournament), flamer, and "seeker rifle" isn't really that original-
some of the crazy shit those guns do is pretty novel. IE the Javelin gun nailing people to the wall, and then doing an area of effect of electricity and exploding. That and they're -supposed- to be tools, when people tell you to stand down- they tell you to put your tools down- not your gun. I liked that. You're a bit of a space blumber. Doodoodooot deedoot doot doot.

Armor design- it was pretty fucking neat in this game. Not gonna lie, and in Doom 3 you're just some fucking generic marine reskin.

Oxygen and zero gravity puzzles-
okay
this is the main area DS actually splits off a bit. [that and "harried shooting" not surprise shooting (doom 3- the "surprise" gets so common place that you just get in the habbit of 180'ing and shooting something in the face every time something else pops up on you) and not "hunted" shooting (System shock is unique in that... NO WHERE is safe. The game will just keep spawning shit and sending it down the corridors after you or ahead of you)]
So
in parts of the game- you have to actually piddle about with the exterior of the hull on the ship/colony.

In 1 you kinda just jumped from surface to surface and got severely disoriented putting pegs in their holes

In 2 you get a jetty pack!!!
... so you get to actually fine-control where you're going instead of timing your jumps.
Also- where were all the badies in zero oxygen zero gravity?
Compared to 1- you coudl pretty much count on tripods and a barb up the bum every corner in zero G/zero oxygen.
... DS2's zero G and zero oxygen scenes were... relatively pleasant and baddy free.

So-
If DS2 ISN'T the game I'm making fun of...
what is?

Red Faction Armageddon.


 

 

Here's Deadspace:

 

 

 

 

Red Faction Armageddon.

 

 

 

 

 

...

Totally diffront gais!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-

THQ- cancel or remake this game before a REAL critic tears into you.

You were warned :/

Go ahead- its about WOTS4 and I wanted to get this out without creating another desktop item, and hunting for a piece of paper

stances-

Even if there's
"left handed variants"
for every stance (and me and chris agree- left handed fighters in this era would've swept their opponents, it was fucking unheard of and unseen)

spear counting as a new weapon with its own stances
and barehands (if there's even stances and shit for it, and not just "hey- there's barehands)

Does
NOT
account for "82" styles.

Right:
Upper
Mid
Down
Side
Draw
Dual
Ninja (underhand)
Single
Dual
underhand dual
Over/under dual

Left
Upper
Mid
Down
Side
Draw
Dual
Ninja (underhand)
Single
Dual
underhand dual
Over/under dual

Spear
Overhead- bashing
outward- defensive and thrusting
side- cleaver
Downward- defensive and thrusting

Barehands:
???
There's literally hundreds of forms of unarmed combat originating from Japan...
but if I were to guess:


Standard
Strikes
counters
kicks
holds
throws
wrestling
boxing? (game does feature european foreigners)
catfighting (why not? Game does throw in joke shit sometimes)

Gun: (pure supposition)
Left
Right
Dual


Gun/sword:
Underhand L with gun
Underhand R with gun
Overhand L with gun
Overhand R with gun
Quick-Draw: hehehehehehehe

Nodachi styles?
I doubt they're getting their own skillset.

I dunno... maybe my original theories were correct
"that's a mistranslation"
or "they mean variance within the same sword stance- IE thug middle, master middle"

Nap.
Gotta think about job interview for monday...

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DUDE! just...
FUCK! I'm still digesting all this information but
HOLY FUCK!!!

Alright-
sooooo
exteeeeeeensive minigame development

(dating games, stealth games, torture minigames for being a "wicked samurai")

Proof of life system-
Your actions effect the next playthrough.
If you murder everyone in town- there's gonna be more guards hanging out.
If you can't talk to the englishmen (cuz... they're english, and you're Japanese- duh)
Convince the shogun to open a foreign language school
bam-
you talk to foreigners.



Realtime dialogue and scene interactions
(I still prefer skipping cut scenes til they need my input- I've got 80 hours in WOTS3 logged, I'd say 4 of that was watching cut scenes ONE time and never watching them again :/)


The accessory system is revamped
but still there

fishing minigame- I already know there's a rare sword to be fished up somewhere- its just... so japanese!

...
Random samurai encounter-
Playstation network will randomly upload your player data PSN, and you will appear in other people's game
fully customized and fully armed.
If someone kills an avatar- you get their custom sword!

The weapon system is completely fuggered (probably not in a bad way) though-
read a review from someone and it sounds like...
lemme see if I got all this right
cuz its secondhand and from a guy playing the JP version that isn't japanese

There are three weapons
Sword
Spear
Barehands
(and heavy indication that there are useable guns)

There are 82 styles

...
109 unique swords
over 240 "sword parts"

and swords are no longer associated with sword styles.

You join a dojo
you beat people into submission to join your dojo (this stays on proof of life and subsequent playthrough we'll call it POL)
Dojo challengers show up based on your dojo fame/infamy
if you beat em
they sometimes drop a book
read the book
learn a new stance

82 STANCES!??!?!?!

That's what I thought I read from this guy calling it "styles"

Apparently you can adjust your stance at any time, and moves used in that stance with your current equipped sword.


Weapon forging:
Your sword has a max amount of punishment it can take before it just drops
dead
I dunno what other stats it has but I'm assuming it has hit/def
rather than having to time out how much heat your sword has
its just a comprehensive -
oh you swung your sword
90,000,000 times
its dead
but you can buy expendable items that instantly repair it

you can have it reforged and repaired though
or you can break down swords into base materials for forging
there's also title appraisal- so I'm sure like in Wots2 and 3 if you kill a thousand or so people
you get a massive increase to attack
and a badass title.

Samurai points are used for buying NPC skins and character creation options
including muscle mass
skintone
etc

There's actual ARTICLES of clothing now, not just "robe- other robe- other kimono" (basically not a default set of 16 outfits like before)
so you can actually wear slacks
and mantles
and shit

and
accessories are back
(glasses, more glasses, devil mask etc)
and accessories can be placed different spots on the body
and apparently you can get more than one now.
So
want 2 sets of glasses? go for it
Want 8 hanya masks?
go for it.



I like this new system
I get extremely attached to some of my swords.
Or at least a sword, a playstyle and an outfit together (IE I use the "sharkfin blade" with the red outfit and black hair from Wots3 cuz it looks like one of the main characters in 1) it kinda generates a composite character.

if I make a totally badass custom sword
I can probably use any combination of stances and abilities with it, not a limited, funneled amount of "skill points" that you sacrificed weapon functionality for when creating a weapon.

I've already got "my" sword planned.
Its a red shirasaya.
Draw stance.

If its possible.
(shirasaya is that... ceremonial sword look, the sheath and handle are one piece of wood carved and crafted so it looks like a seamless single piece, no guards, no fancies- they're not "hidden swords" just... nifty, and I've always liked red lacquer)

Simple... but mine.

Apparently there's three parts to every sword
Blade
hilt
grip

... there's something about "charms"
as well.
+ to money per kill
Restores life at 0
+ damage at night.

Apparently there's optional lil additives.
Neat.
Wonder if they have a visual effect.

...
*sigh*
what else, sorry I was too busy FREAKING out for a couple minutes there.


I wonder what my samurai is gonna look like...

The developers definitely responded to all the /whine
about not enough sandboxing.

Holy shit there's at least 10x as much now.

So lets work under the assmuption that there are
82 styles

Barehands

Swords-
Dual (I'm betting is purchased from the blacksmith- said he had a book in his shop)
Side
Draw
Middle
Top
Down
Onehand
Ninja
(ninja DW?)

Barehands-
... ?

Spear-
Dual -.... hahahaha! just kidding- no idea. Again.

Gun-

Sword-gun combo.
I can see this coming from Samurai Western- the franchise's crazy cousin.


Even if there's variants to each major style
Which I've observed in every WOTS game
(Remember my rant about 1 handers? of course you don't)

There's...
rougish downstance
rolling downstance

ineffective (random thug style)
for nearly every style.

1 hander kick/spin emphasis
1 hander murder buzz saw emphasis

hell even the difference between the Samehamadaru (top) and the Daikuronoma (top) are MASSIVE.
One spins, lunges, stabs and spins
the other one jumps, crushes, stabs and crushes

So... maybe "Style" is just the variants of all the interdisciplinary variances

In other words-
yeah, you're using mid stance, but are you using a collection of those shit abilities the thugs use
or the badass abilities you learned from Sensei's sword?

Even the draw stances had different approaches to the same move
-> + Triangle on one sword wasn't always the same thing
it was
a jab with your sheath,
a palm attack
a super fast strike
a forward roll
a slow but powerful draw
an upward slash
a horizontal slash

and various combos that could be strung to those first attacks.

-----------------------------------

Speaking of sandbox games I'm eagerly anticipating

Saints Row 3
and I know EXACTLY what to expect from those people, and what they can do NOT to fuck up that game
(don't pull a GTA4)
The one thing I finally came up with that I knew I wanted from that whacky franchise

okay in
SR you can customize
EVERYTHING

Every article of every clothing
color
placement
body type
age
sex
etc

so you can also do this with your car
colors
body kits
hoods
etc
etc
etc

What I want?

I want to put a fucking tank barrel on my BMW
a minigun on my truck
and jamesbond rocket pods on a jet booster on my moped.

...
yeah
that's like the final frontier for those assholes.

Go to a mechanic- or even a special mechanic, and slap on some "hardware"

Everything else is pretty spot on XD

--------

so yeah
crazy /want for this game aside
both games actually...

I will learn japanese if I have to...

here's dudes appearing in your game at random with random swords.
I love this feature.

 

 

 

Puts a new spin on the term "sword collector" huh?

[Exploding kitchen]  (edit | delete)
(proof that it was there but that Fubar regularly fucks up blog posts)

Thar be donuts.
Nuts of dough.
Oliebollen.

What most americans would call "fritters".

So, I thought to myself one day "man, I sure could go for some cake donuts" but there's always that

chance
that awful chance that they're day old, factory SHIT
or some promo cake donut for some season >>

and I wanted
-plain- as in vanilla.

So I get online, knowing I had all the ingredients but not the knowledge of proportions

here's how I work

1.5 cups water (some people say milk... meh)
1.5 sugar (white granulated)
2 flour (all purpose is fine, though I'm curious about using low protein and cake)
1 tablespoon of baking powder
salt (like... a teaspoon)
1 egg.

Flavorant!!! (I just used a tablespoon of vanilla coffee creamer... srsly)

Now, online the general cake donut recipe has
nutmeg
cinnamon
powdered sugar

... FAH! *flips over table*
Vanilla!

Stop fucking that up! That is not "plain cake" that's cinn/sug.

Alright?
Alfuckingright then!

Mix by hand or spoon
bout the consistency of pancake batter
oh wait
it IS pancake batter :/
Mindfuck huh?

Put about a pint-quart of neutral high heat oil in a dutch oven or cast iron pan (use less oil, but you'll cap out on how many donuts you can make at a time) the important thing is that you have a little over an inch of cooking media.

Get the pan to 375 or thereabouts

and
take 2 big metal serving spoons
and with one- make a decent sized scoop- use the other as a partial lid- and gently place the spoon into the oil and scrape any remaining goo into the ball of dough in the heat.

Oh
but what about baking sheets and... dough, and rolling, and kneading and isn't the batter too wet!?
FEH!!!!
*Flips over already flipped over table*
Its fine put it in the fucking oil!!!

Wait until you can see GBD on the downside- flip, and listen for a similar sound of subsided bubbling when you flip her over.

... right
I didn't get my stopwatch out

You're gonna have to do this one by sense.
You can always pull an edge up and peek at the doneness, but you want something... between wheat-tan and BROWN
I like crunchies and roasted flavors, so- I go brown.

Bubbling does change sound when sauteing, frying, deep frying is "done" or at least not as productive and enthusiastic as it started.
From years of watching videos, blogging, or playing video games while cooking (seriously- I do at least 2 things at once at home- I get that bored) I've kinda developed an internal timer from the sound and smell. It also helps that seriously- my computer is four fucking feet from my oven.
Lols
Small fucking house.

You can get about 5 fist sized donuts in a batch.
I can get about 11-14 out of the whole mixture.

I always knick 1 from the first two batches its a ... doneness/quality check.

And... hot donuts.
Oh my GOD!

FRESH donuts.

If you've never had em- doing this
right now
its in your best interest I swear.

It combines everything you love about the smell of funnel cake and the taste of... awesome.

My mom has to buy a dozen glazed donuts at crispy creme every time she sees the light on.
That and she lives in BFE so... she'll only get em like twice a year.
Point is- fresh dozens are miles and worlds apart from even hour old donuts or cool ones.
My first love was plain cake donuts made within 15 minutes at daylight donuts downtown indy.
The bitch I cheated on her with and eventually left her for were the apple fritters that come ONCE a year at Neewollah. Hot, buttery, crispy, cakey, and plastered with cinnamon and sugar.

So...
moving on
to the exploding portion of the show-

Cake donut batter
is pancake batter.
Pancake batter
is waffle batter
waffle batter
is funnel cake batter

What's true of ALL of these batters?
They go great with:
syrup (oh yeah)
Powdered sugar
Peanut butter (call me a heretic but me and grampa loved this stuff)
jam
jelly
preserves
any time of the day
cinnamon
berries
...

...

berries...

........
berries EXPLODE in deep frying...
Due to the water content and the fragility of the cells...

But dried fruit ...
dried fruit has no such weakness.

So I dumped about a cup and a half of raisins into my most recent batter

and I put in a teaspoon of cinnamon

and I wish I had used some brown sugar or maple syrup instead of sugar (because they behave pretty damn similar sometimes) or even better
honey

but

The results?

...

If they weren't invented before
I'd like to introduce you all to "Raisin cake donuts".

You bet your ass I'm gonna try this with dried blueberries cherries and cranberries eventually.

The surface raisins come out a bit... leathery but not to where you stop eating.

This combines everything good about donuts
with raisin cookies. (not raisin oatmeal cookies- we're still working that one out)

but I imagine anything that's "mostly sugar" or can "substitue sugar" as a sweetener
IE preserves, honey or syrups
...
yeah I'd go ahead and use em in a donut batter >>

Too bad I've been out of honey for 3 months.

I'm already working on an idea for an orange licquer and preserves mix.

If apple fritters are possible, and pumpkin donuts/pancakes are awesome... and hell- daylight donuts has strawberry cake donuts
I'm willing to bet banana nut bread donuts (...I wonder how walnuts behave)
and red velvet donuts are possible.

...
they wouldn't be red any more though.

hmmm....
but that does give me an idea for topping fritters with cream cheese icing.

WeeeEEEe!

... oh
Wots3 update- on the duper difficulty, I got both of the "main bosses" super rare weapons and a couple rare gag/joke weapons.

... one of the boss rares is a main character's sword from Wots1.

Its what I call the "windmill of death". And any time its in a game, I go faaaaaar out of my way to get it or a weapon that is modeled after it in technique.

I've already got it fully upgraded, and its only missing one technique.
It is a buzzsaw of murder. Its my second favorite top stance sword. The favorite being one of the boss' swords from 1 (and a MEGA bitch to get in 2).
I'm still disappointed that my favorite sidestance sword is missing from this game.




and according to the wiki >> oliebollen are supposed to be made with dried fruit.
Aw nuts, and I thought I was an innovative son of a bitch.
Hehehe... well I still am :D

BummedI wonder if I'm going into a disaster tomorrow.
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