Happily In Love's blog: "thoughts and feelings"

So I finally let him know how I really feel about him.  It wasn't easy on me because I'm not good with words verbally but I found a way to let him know.  Last night him and I had a heart to heart talk and I learned everything that I needed to know for right now.  We still aren't a couple but I'm ok with that.  He told me that he does have feelings for me but he's not ready for a relationship yet.  And he adores Heaven but he's not sure he's ready for all that comes along with having a child.  But he is helping me out with her birthday and when they are together he is so good with her that you would never know we weren't together. 

Last night I broke down because I ain't gonna be able to do everything I wanted to do for Heaven for her birthday and he's the one who calmed me down and brought me back to the reality that as long as she's happy that's all that matters.  And that she isn't going to really care about everything she gets as long as she has fun and the people she loves are around her.

I've had so much on my mind that is just really getting to me but sitting there talking to him last night about everything really did help me out.  He's not only understanding but he has also experienced a lot of what I'm going through in one way or another so he really does understand what it's like.  And he's doing everything he can to help me get through it. He's honestly one of the only reasons I haven't totally lost my mind.  By some miracle he can calm my mind and make me feel so much better just with his words.