y'know, people keep telling me about how petting zoos are so great...how kids love 'em. well, you know what? i think that those people are spreading their strawberry deception jam all over my toast-like mind...and they're doing it with a butter knife of lies.
now tell me, folks...does that kid really look like it's having a good time? i think not. the anger in its eyes...the grimace on its face...the child trying to pick its nose....it's so obvious that the kid is not enjoying his time caged up in the petting zoo. i don't blame 'em, either....and if i were that kid, i'd back kick that booger-lovin' child away from me...i bet she reeks, anyway.
it's so obvious that the kids hate it at the petting zoo...and you know why? it's because of dirtbags like the child pictured below...
look at the anger on that child's face....you know why he's angry, don't you? well, i'll tell you why...it's 'cause he's been caught. notice how his left hand isn't visible and it's hidden beneath his sleeve? that's 'cause he's got an unpleasantly sharp object that he'd like to puncture the kid's flesh with hidden there. don't believe me? look at the child's shorts. they're down past the knees...only gangstas wear shorts so low that they can be mistaken as baggy highwaters....and gangstas hurt people. i know because i hear their serenades about how and why they kill people all the time on the radio. radio, like television and this blog, never lies. thus, that seemingly innocent curly-haired child must be a kid-murdering psychopath.
if you still need proof, the child is wearing velcro shoes...velcro moved around is crovel...and what is a 'C' but a 'G' with a limb chopped off? you know who chopped the 'G's' limb off? hmm? do you? it's that child up there!! so, prior to the chopped-off limb, crovel was grovel, which is exactly what that heartless child makes people do...making people grovel? sounds like the act of an evil, serial killing jerk to me.
still don't believe me that the kids are unhappy? alright, then i've got some more pictures for you...
y'know, the violence isn't just limited to gangstas...the irish mafia is in on the kid violence, too. the kid in this picture simply said "top o' the mornin' to ya" to the child, who, as you can see by this picture, replied with an ice-cold look. you see that brush the child is holding? hmm? that brush is laced with malaria. now, we all know the irish are immune to malaria because of top-notch reasearch that i made up just now...however, kids are not immune....to kids, getting malaria is like eating my aunt's fruitcake; deadly.
you see now, folks? see what the kids have to deal with? constant murder attempts from various children....vicious, vicious children. just in case you don't see what i see, take a look at this child reaching up to choke a kid.
there...plain as day...those tiny, steel-like hands reaching up and ready to clamp themselves around that kid's neck...what exactly is the kid supposed to do? hmm? think about it's favorite things? that doesn't even work when the dog bites, the bee stings, or when you're feeling sad like that tall tale tune wants you to believe...so how do you expect it to help that kid when he's being strangled to death by that strapping young man? no responce? yeah, that's what i thought.
you see folks, petting zoos are making the kids of the world miserable...children trying to kill them and adults feeding 'em food called 'goat pellets'....i mean, who wants to eat pellets? isn't that another word for poop? and speaking of poop, friends...there's a common phrase involving poop that i think fits here. i'll shorten it to initials to prevent potential damage to someone's eyes from reading a naughty word. that phrase, folks, is bs.
if we're going to imprison animals to petting zoos simply to allow them to be murdered, fed poop, and just plain tortured....at least let it be an animal that can fight back...
there we go....now that's a better petting zoo. the child there is so happy for hitting that crocodile in the skull with his razor-sharp plastic shovel...but little does that child know that it's mr. crocodile's turn now. that, my friends, is called a fair fight...and fair fights is how things ought to be. you dig?
i think i've made my point, but before i end this, i've got one last picture to show you all...
you see that, people? that kid is miserable; its pouting lips tell the whole story. it's crying at you for help...you think it wants to wear that neon pink collar? it doesn't. neon pink is a pansy color. that poor, poor kid. every day is a fight for survival....every day is a struggle to stay alive.....
so, kids love petting zoos, eh? maybe next time you hear someone ignorantly say that, you'll be like me and beg to differ.
