SherryMH's blog: "My Mother"

You were my first love.  The one who carried me inside you for 8 1/2 months.  The one who held me first.  The one who gave me nourishment.  The one who rocked me to sleep every night.  The one who kissed away every boo boo.  The one whom I first smiled at.  The one whom I first spoke to.  The one whom I first toddled to.  The one whom I first ran to.  The one whom I first confided in.  The one who held my hand when I hurt the most.  The one who always had a special snack for me after school every day.  The one who made me feel like everything would be ok after my  first break up. The one who fixed my make up and fixed my hair when I got married.  The one who held my hand when I gave birth to my only child.  The one who stayed with me in those first weeks of motherhood.  The one who taught me how to be a good mother by leading by example.  The one who was by my side when I lost my father even though you had been divorced for years.  The one who came to me when my marriage was falling apart.  The one who held me close as I cried so many tears.  The one who was with me when my first grandchild took his first breath. The one who helped me adjust to life after my divorce.  The one who was with me when my second grandchild came into this world.  The one who cried with me when my grandson was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis.  The one who stood by me through every single decision I have ever made in my life.  The one who kept me from falling apart through any rough spot I encountered.  The one who always made everything alright when it seemed nothing could.  You were my #1 fan.  You were my strength through hard times.  You were my cheerleader, helping me reach goals I didn't think possible.  You were the single most influentual person in my life.  I can never put into words just how very much you will always mean to me.  There has never been, nor will ever be anyone in my life as special as you.  I know so many people who have never had the kind of relationship I have been so very blessed to have with you.  I can't imagine what it would have been like without you.  You shaped me into the woman I am today and I hope that when you look down at me you are proud of this person you created.  

 

You were my guiding light, my sunshine, my silver lining, my inspiration, my comforter, my strength.  You were my best friend.

 

Life will never ever be the same now.  A huge chunk of my heart is gone.  The biggest part.  I know you are no longer suffering, but I would give anything to hear your voice, see your smile, hear your giggle, see you walk into a room, feel your arms wrapped around me, feel your kiss on my forehead, and feel your hand in mine.  

 

Little mama I was so very very lucky...blessed to be able to call you Mom.  For the rest of my life there will never be a day that goes by that I won't think of you and miss you. I had the best little mama in the whole world.  

 

You were my first love.

My mother is on a date.

 

 

 

 

 

Um...

 

 

She gets more action than I do.

 

 

 

OMG.  My head is swimming.

So, today was my mother's check up with the surgeon. Weight is staying up due to her eating almost constantly, which is what we want. Blood pressure fine, etc. etc. Her aneurysm felt bigger so he scheduled a CT scan for next week. He still can't believe she is alive. She is a feisty one. He told her she needed a good vice and proceeded to ask what she thought about taking up chasing men. My mother politely looked at him and smiled. "No" she says. "Men are evil." he laughed and replied "You have a point." That's my lil mama. :D Bwahahahahaha!

Just letting everyone know that I won't be here from tomorrow morning until probably Saturday night. My mother's place sold in the middle of everything else going on with her. My sister and I are going up in the morning to pack up everything for her and get it to storage on Saturday. She will be coming home with me to stay the last week until surgery on Oct. 7, then will be in the hospital for at least a week after surgery. She will then be coming back home with me to recover. Later on, my sister and I will help her find her own apartment. Soooooo. Will you miss me? :P

I haven't been online this week because I have been spending time with my mother. We have been going to doctors all week. Yesterday was the 2nd cardiologist appointment. They were doing a heart cath on her and she suffered Angina while having it. They rushed her to the hospital for an emergency stint in her artery. They ended up ballooning another artery as well. She is fine this morning. Her surgery had to be put off because of this procedure, but without this her heart wouldn't have survived surgery. It's now set for 3 weeks from now, barring any complications. She will be leaving the hospital this afternoon to go stay with my sister. Once surgery is over she will be coming home with me. I've missed everyone. *Hugs*

I just got home from my mother's appointment. He said without the surgery Mother wouldn't live much longer at all. He is not sure if he can find an aortic vein to graph from, but he is going to try. So the surgery has to happen in the next couple of weeks. She goes to the cardiologist tomorrow afternoon to insure her heart is strong enough, then surgery will be scheduled. He did tell us that this surgery is VERY complicated and he is not sure if she will make it through, BUT with surgery there is a chance she will live. He can't offer any more assurance than that, but we will take it! It's something. We could have walked in there to be told he wouldn't try surgery and she doesn't have much time. We will take the risk. She is with my sister right now and will be coming here tomorrow to stay a few days.

Well, my mother's doctor called this morning and wanted to see her today instead of waiting until Monday. It's not good. At all. Apparently if they had tried to help her the other day when she had the cath she would have most likely passed away. This was from the doctor. He sent her over to the hospital for a couple of test, then she goes back Friday for another test. He will then figure out if he can do anything else for her, but said IF he is able to do surgery again this one would be much more complicated than her first surgery 3 years ago. :( She is living on a very thin trickle of blood and even he is surprised she is still alive. The artificial artery has closed up completely. It's of no use now. I am blogging this so I won't have to tell everyone individually and so all of you know what's up if I disappear for a bit. Please keep my mother in your thoughts and prayers.

Just to let everyone know, my mother had yet another cath done today on the artificial artery which runs from her heart, to her kidneys and bowels. The graphs have closed up and it looks a if she is going to have to have surgery which we had hoped could be avoided to replace it. She goes back to the surgeon next Monday. We won't know more until then. I am staying optimistic, just wanted to let everyone know what's up. Thanks for all the well wishes today. I figured it would be easier to blog about it than explain to everyone individually. Now, I just wanna relax. It's been a long day at the hospital, to say the least.