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Pedro El Awesomeo's blog: "Encephalon"

created on 04/16/2007  |  http://fubar.com/encephalon/b74254  |  30 followers

Were I going on a Zombie Bar Crawl dressed as a survivor, what outfit should I wear? I do have some old uniform tops I could throw on some jeans and boots.  Additions, subtractions, suggestions?

 

Also, the stub hub ticket oak creeps me out.  Which has nothing to do with the previous part of the blog, but I am just putting it out there.   That crazy eye, and face?  Yeap, I'll never buy from there.

A random synapse in my brain fired today and I thought:  Super Hero Movie Match Ups.  What's that you ask? 

Take a Super Hero Movie title:

Batman Blade: Trinity
Superman Elektra
Hero at Large Constantine
Condorman The Crow: Wicked Prayer
Swamp Thing Son of the Mask
Supergirl Batman Begins
The Toxic Avenger Fantastic Four
Howard the Duck Man-Thing
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace Sky High
Batman V for Vendetta
The Return of Swamp Thing X-Men: The Last Stand
The Punisher Superman Returns
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Zoom
Darkman Ghost Rider
Captain America Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze Underdog
The Guyver Superhero Movie
The Rocketeer Iron Man
Batman Returns Wanted
The Meteor Man The Incredible Hulk
The Fantastic Four Hancock
The Crow Hellboy II: The Golden Army
Blankman The Dark Knight
The Shadow Punisher: War Zone
The Mask The Spirit
Guyver: Dark Hero Watchmen
Batman Forever Push
Judge Dredd X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Tank Girl Kick-Ass
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie Super
Darkman II: The Return of Durant Jonah Hex
The Crow: City of Angels The Green Hornet
Barb Wire Thor
Prey of the Jaguar X-Men: First Class
The Phantom Green Lantern
Darkman III: Die Darkman Die Captain America: The First Avenger
Black Scorpion II: Aftershock Chronicle
Batman & Robin Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
Spawn The Avengers
Steel The Amazing Spider-Man
Star Kid The Dark Knight Rises
Blade Dredd
Mystery Men Man of Steel
The Crow: Salvation R.I.P.D.
X-Men The Wolverine
The Specials Super Buddies
Unbreakable Thor: The Dark World
Spider-Man Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Daredevil The Amazing Spider-Man 2
X2: X-Men United X-Men: Days of Future Past
Hulk Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Guardians of the Galaxy
Hellboy The Fantastic Four
The Punisher Avengers: Age of Ultron
Catwoman Ant-Man

 

Then add another movie titlle like so:


All the President's X-Men

The Amazing Spidermanchurian Candidate

 

And boom, you have a mash up.  Now go and make me proud.

Have you ever thought to yourself:  "Hey I wish I could take huge mountain sized poops."  Well let me tell you the secret;  take up running and eat two bowls of air popped popcorn a day.  In no time you'll be the bane of the guy who has to clean the crappers in the gym.

 

Also, my wallet is really hard to close when you have $1,000 in twenties in it.   Though I suppose it would be just as hard to close with $50 in ones.  The latter being a more realistic scenario.  I'm no rainmaker with this wallet!

So I am walking out of the gym and this woman is walking in, carrying her clothes.  She drops what I assume to be a pair of underwear.  Now normally when someone drops something I pick it up, but in this case I wasnt sure of the protocol.  I figure if I didnt take it off, I shouldnt be picking it up.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

Also, she was not hot. 

I love it when people wait to get the absolute closest parking space to the gym they can get.  It's all "Yeah I am going in there to exert myself physically, but I don't want to do any little bit more before then."

I'm going to change my name to Juan.  Then I am going to change my last name to Kenobi.  Then I am going to study and train really hard to become a matador.  Then the crowds will yell "Ole! Juan Kebobi"

 

Whenever I see a car magnet that says "I love my Grand-Dogs"  I always think aka:

"I've realized this is all I'm getting no matter how much I want grand children.  Of course that wouldn't fit on a bumpersticker so I have this magnet.  Hell, I didn't even buy it, they bought it for me."

Just some words of advice for the ladies out there doing the online dating.  While I know it's about as difficult for a woman to find a date on a site as it is to get wet in the pacific ocean, I'd like to point out a couple things:

  • Don't have pictures of you standing next to your attractive friends.  When I post my car in the classifieds, I dont say "Oh and here's another car thats nicer that you cant buy"
  • Don't have the letters COW in your name.  Don't care if those are your initials or whatever, it's just bad marketing.

Have you seen the Toyota commercial where they have people dancing throughout the years the Corrolla has been out?  They end it in the present with a bunch of people dancing in a lot of colors.  There's one guy who does this thing with his arms behind his back like they are flowing in the wind, amazing! 

Anyhow, the end of the commercial has this little white girl dancing by the car, and I always thought "Sure, end it with the white girl."  But the other day at the movies I saw an extended version of the commercial and the white girl has some skills and certainly deserves to be in the center spot at the end of the commercial.  So to you unnamed white girl, I offer my apologies for prejudging you and in the future I will try to curb a little cynascism in a gesture of past sins.

Curious side note, I've always been a secret fan of dance movies, having seen both Breakin' and Breakin' 2: Electric Bugaloo in the theaters,  I'll even catch the occasional step up to the streets on cable.

Being the well heeled bachelor that I am occasionally I will have an guest of the opposite sex.  As part of being prepared for theese visitors, I like to keep an assortment of items on hand they may require during their stay. 

So when I am going through the grocery store buying women's razors and shaving cream and the cashier looks at me, I just give him/her a little eyebrow raise along with a head nod like "S'up?"  because you know, they know.

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