Valentines day brings back so many memories for me it is not even funny,I have had many a good valentines day when I was growing up, my father always remembered us girls on this day the sisters all got boxes of candy like I and they usually got new dolls or dresses,I on the other hand usually got tickets to either wrestling coming to town for my dad and I to have our day or even baseball tickets but alas I grew up and became a mom so those days are gone boy I miss them! Then there was the celebrations with Everett, they were all memories
never to be forgotten we always bought the boys there presents from each of us and I bought my gift for him he never would tell me anything other than to get dressed we had places to go. Everett had made my valentines the best my own ex husband never could care less. Everett always made it seem like we were running errends for the house we would always go do the shopping and bill paying have a nice lunch and go home he usually made dinner on this day and I would relax with the boys after dinner he would send the boys to there rooms for the night and come out with the gifts I never even seen him purchase he was good at doing that! Usually it would be a piece pf jewlery I had been looking at and a few other odds and ends I really loved him and because of that valentines were awesome. Now I still like valentines day if only for the boys and this year the boys and the children of jess's and of course jess I love these people with all my heart and soul but I just can't bring my self to appreiciate the holiday like I used to. Since Everett has passed away it just does not feel the same. I have had other men in my life since Everett but....... like I said not the same I may hold Everett on a pillar I may never take him off, but I am intitled. So this year I am more inclined to let those I love know verbelly cause sometimes the memories just hurt to much to want to do other.I quess what im trying to say is Everett was my imortal and my one and only valentine and I dont have it....... One day I am sure I will have another and im trying to bury the past and move on in order to do that I must write this down and let everyone see and then maybe I can make valentines a more pleasurable thing for those I love and care for.
So for those who know me and are gonna read this I am sorry I am such a sour puff when it came to today.I want and need you all to know I love you all and no matter what depression turn I take I will always love you guys and I will always be there for you.You are all my valentines and I would not have it any other way!
