Ok this one is to those of you who HAVENT suffered this loss but know someone or are close to someone that has. I know that being in that position can be tough because what do you say to them when they experience their loss? Its a difficult subject to approach and be tactful, supportive and not stick your foot in your mouth without realizing. Please know ONE THING....DO NOT make light of the situaton. I hear from so many survivors of this loss that either A) family and friends avoided them for lack of what to say or do or B) they made light of it all saying "well it was for the best" or " at least your baby is in a better place now" OR "it wasnt meant to be". NOW...while those things are all true....they are THE LAST thing a grieving parent wants to hear when THEY...dont feel it was for the best....feel the best place for their baby is in their arms and feel it was meant to be and it was stolen from them. Please also try to remember that grief goes through stages and each stage may come at a different time for each person and some stages might be skipped. There is denial, pain, anger and acceptance. That might not be a complete list but its a rough idea and everyone might go through all of them or some of them in any order. Rather than thinking its something you need to "fix" just be there. Lend an ear and a shoulder when they need it and know that the venting and crying WILL subside SOMEDAY but only when THEY are ready. My most recently loss was Sept 2006 and I STILL cry some days and I lost another in June 1999. When I got pregnant in 2006...the pain from my first loss was just beginning to subside and then I lost the second and it all came back to me. The best advice I can give is be loving, patient and compassionate. If you cant find the right words to say to them...I love you and I am here for you works wonders.
