i know i shouldnt question things but I cant help it. all i do is sit here and wonder. i dont know what to do. dont know what to think. im so confused that its driving me nuts. i dont want to hurt or love. just want to be content with friends. yet for some reason its not working out that way.
im falling for a man i dont know if i really should fall for. he knows it even if neither of us want to admitt it.
today i seen someone who fucked me over in the past...sad thing was the asshole couldnt even look me in the eye.
and then to make my day even worse i found out so much about my big brother that i no longer have any respect for him. and of all people hes the last one i thought i woul totally lose respect for. its breaks my heart that i can honestly say that in my eyes hes no longer my brother. anybody who can be the way he is i dont want associated with me. and it kills me cuz i used to be so proud of him...back when he first graduated high school and became a marine. Now i sit here wanting to cry cuz i cant believe the person he has become.
my feelings are all so fucked up right now...
