Chrissy in CT's blog: "On the edge....."

Anyone who has read my other blogs knows that i have been through some adversity in life. This ive grown accustomed to and accept that in life problem-solving is a 24/7/365 job for me. This has usually only extended to my personal life. Professionally I've not dealt with it much having worked up until recently exclusively in health care. Then I took this job. I work for a 50 year old Greek man who owns too much property for his own good. 4 Hotels, 2 gyms and numerous residential rental properties. Guess who manages them all by herself? Dumbass here! I took this job when I came here as manager of the hotel. He pissed off the bookkeeper by calling her a fucking bitch and she quit in April. I AM NOT A BOOKKEEPER! This he is fully aware of but doesnt seem to recognize or give a crap about. He is verbally and mentally abusive, threatening and just all around evil. I've been told to "get out of his fucking face i fucking disgust him." That "i dont fucking care about anyone but myself." He told his lil 2 year old daughter while i was on the phone with him one day that she could not get a toy today because of me costing him $!!!!! I feel trapped here. I live on site so to get a new job means coming up with money for a new place to live. Connecticut is not cheap! I am trying very hard to get out of here but doubt i will unscathed. He doesnt like when employees leave. They are bitches/bastards who steal from him and take food from his babies mouth. What to do? Today I woke up with the thought in mind to give him a month's notice. To tell him that i can never be what the business needs because i dont have the tools necessary to do the job. That if he thinks he can find someone for $8/hr as he said last night to do all that i do for him then he should put the ad in the paper today. That try as i might i am not perfect and cannot do it all it is quite frankly destroying me emotionally, mentally and physically. I have anxiety attacks almost nightly and am in pain from my connective tissue disease daily due to all the stress i bear. From dealing with the Fire Marshall, the state police special crimes investigators, to irate tenants and bill collectors galore, lawyers you name it IVE HAD ENUFF! I have given this man 300% am on call 24/7 7 days a week. I dont know what more I can do or say because I know it will never be enough. So anyways this is my rambling for this morning. And how is your week? lol