Ninja's blog: "Ask the Ninja"

Dear Dr. Ninja

I have a three part question where each part is a segway to the next...I hope you can help.

#1. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck..IF a woodchuck COULD chuck wood?

.....this naturally leads to the next part which is just the avian version..

#2. How much wood could a woodpecker peck..IF a woodpecker COULD peck wood?

.....and the last segway question which I feel is only obvious..

#3. What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?



I hope you can shed some insight...

~ xX TOXIC MARINE Xx

Toxic,

#1

An animal won't chuck as much as the mighty Woodchuck Chipper, that's for damn sure. With it's 40" diameter 2" thick steel cutting disc, it's raw power is some serious business! Not only for loggers, but for the occasional need to dispose of evidence. Little forrest creature, eat your tree chompin heart out!

#2

Depending on the variety, those little peckers can beat that wood at 100-150 pecks every minute! At that rate, no wonder they have to take so many breaks! Maybe if they slow it down a little, they can build up that stamina before hammering away some more. I mean, come on, they aren't a jack rabbit.

#3

The rate at which your swimmers evacuate, an astounding 28 mph! No wonder she gags so hard! Maybe if you pull out a lil farther and don't shove her head down on it, she will agree to swallow.