Reeka's blog: "Whatever"

I see very little of redeeming value here anymore.  If there's anyone out there who wants to keep in touch (ha, asif!) and doesn't know how to... post here or send me a PM and i'll let you know.

Some of you are here for fun

Some of you are here to find sex or love

Some of you are genuine

Some of you are only here for people when they are happy

Some of you think I have aligned myself with someone you don't like and leave without looking back

Some of you listen only to what friends say and don't use your own observational skills to pass judgment - and we all judge whether we like to admit it or not; it's how you do so that defines you as a person

Some of you need to put others down to make you feel better

Some of you, very few, are truly awesome - these people are in my family list, though some are still missing

Some of you feel slighted to have been deleted from my list and thus avoid me - this I understand because I have felt the same way, but I tried to make it clear in my blogs and about me why it was done

All of you are real people, despite what most say.  Someone physical lies behind the screen, whether they choose to be themselves or someone totally different

I will not pretend to be someone I am not.  I will not censor myself or only come around when I'm happy.  I have bad moments and they are plenty; yet several of you are here for me no matter what and I am humbled by you.  For those that left me when I needed you most; those that used what they learned of me to manipulate me and hurt me; those that simply shut me out without a word... may the good people see you for who you really are and not suffer the same treatment.

The new year seemed as good a time as any to start fresh on my friends list.

No, it wasn't personal.  I even deleted Durham.

I know I've been emo the last couple years with all the crap I've gone through.  Part of the reason I did this was to take the onus off of those that don't really care to have me on their list, but were afraid to delete me cuz they didn't wanna hurt my feelings.  People are deleting me left and right, and while we hadn't talked recently, I'd THOUGHT we were still friends.  I have enough outside stress without having to worry about who wants me around and who doesn't.  So... it's done.

Add me back if you want to, I'll happily accept anyone I know back onto my list.  I apologize if I've hurt anyone's feelings in doing this; again, it was NOT personal.

Setup: This is my local Chinese place, where I have been known to order the same exact thing, Princess Beef without vegetables or peanuts, up to 4 or 5 times a week for the past 10 years.

Thank you for calling Great China, how may I help you?

I'd like to order Princess Beef with *gets interrupted*

You want what kinda chicken?

princ- what you wanna owda?

Princess beef

princess chicken - you want quat or pint size?

princess beef

princess chicken, yes... pint or quat?

*click*

The good news:  My doc called this morning to let me know that the tests showed the antibiotics are working and my UTI is improving.

The bad news:  The CT scan from Friday showed that I have more kidney stones, and in particular one enlarged one in my right kidney that is probably causing my continued symptoms.  She is referring me to a urologist tomorrow.  

More good news:  I get to take loootttsss of Vicodin :P

I haz qweschun.

As some of you know, I am working a contract job at GM.  I'm currently located in their Warren technical center, which is 45 miles from my home.  With traffic in the afternoons, the normal commute is 1-1.5 hours, and it's been as bad as 3 when the snow flies.  However, I enjoy the work there, I like my coworkers, and my boss is pretty laid back and reasonable.

This summer, I was asked to help out part time at the Milford Proving Grounds, which is 15 miles from home.  It takes 20 minutes tops to get there, and there are several alternate routes to avoid traffic on the highway if necessary.  The work I've been doing there has been boring technician level work that's messy.  The boss is type A^2 and micromanages everyone.  However, I was just told that they finally have approval to hire 3 new contract people there.

I doubt my current boss will tell me of the opening, because he wants to keep me in his group.  Which is nice, and bodes well for my chances of becoming permanently hired if I stay there.  So, if I think I really want to work in Milford, I'm going to have to ask.  I just can't decide whether it's worth it at this point in my life, where I barely have energy to make it through my workday and commute let alone housework when I get home, to have the extra hour or two a day back.  It could be that with the full time position they would have me do more challenging work.  I just don't know what to do.

Sooo... today I had an appointment at the Alternatives to CPAP clinic.

 It started off with a head CT scan to evaluate the soft tissues in my throat for possible surgery.  

Then I talked with a neurologist about my symptoms - for an hour or so.  

Then onto an ENT doc, who sprayed some kinda numbing agent into my nose and then stuck a scope down it to see my vocal cords and throat features.  THAT was NOT FUN, just sayin.  And then she made me watch the video from it; that was oogie.

Finally, another talk with the neurologist, and his attending physician.  She felt that I may have narcolepsy in addition to sleep apnea.  I have to see my shrink and see if I can go off the antidepressants for a couple weeks so that I can do another sleep study followed by a nap study for narcolepsy.  Apparently zoloft renders their observations inconclusive.

All in all, I guess I'll do whatever it takes to stop me from being so tired I fall asleep while driving nearly every day.  Pleh.

After the 4 hours at the hospital, I got the pleasure of going to physical therapy.  I'm now physically as well as emotionally tired & sore.

Oh, and while you're here: 

I caved and joined an auction for the first time in months... Come rate the pic if nothing else, pweeeaassseeee :)  I'm dead last, as usual, and the most rates gets a boomerang.

Clicky the pic-y:

Yeah, I'm home sick today, and my brain is actin kinda funny, so I thought I'd (over)share.

• I found out on Tuesday that my daughter has a new best friend, whose mom I hated through most of high school because she was dating my crush.  She's also a teacher at my kids' school.
• I am enjoying the guilty pleasure of watching Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey ("Catch ya later, God") and am amazed at how much I still enjoy the hell out of it.
• I really want to level and I'm doing a damned good job by myself polishing bling that I'm bookmarking to hit every day :P
• I still need to find 9 n00bs to bling 
• I am touched by the number of friends on my list that have changed their names to pink (h)
• It's almost time for my kids to come home and I hope they wanna cuddle cuz I feel really cuddle-deprived
• That is all for now.  Thank you for reading.