Icarus's blog: "Hurts to watch."

"She hates me doesn't she?"

The salad is on, and I'm pecking at a none too compliant keyboard pretending I'm the next hot shit since Hemmingway

glasses, 3/4 ringer shirt, boxers and black socks.

What? They were warm.

I stop and rub my eyes. This one was going nowhere anyway. I'd swear I wrote this damn story when I was in highschool.

"Who? Mom? She's just ... off like that."

I sink my fingers back into place but the chirupping neurotic dinnermate that stayed for pancakes, and then for lunch... and then for march
just wouldn't stop

"No your dog."

I look at the giant lump of meat and bones on the floor
look at the number two bitch in this house
go back to typing.

"Well duh, you keep taking her side of the bed."
In all fairness, it was her side first.
And she only kicks me in her sleep about once a month...

To think, it started with a toothbrush.

Before long she'll enthusiastically tell me she's on the pill
I can stop wrapping my first mate!

... not happening.
Been there, sung that, had the q-tip up my thick 8

course at the time he was flacid... and backing into my body as quickly as he could for fear of the gargantuan spiked alchohol doused maul being crammed sideways in my monster's good eye.

...
is there a way I can make sex even safer
while still actually having it?

I guess my comment was met with pouty, frosty silence
which I was glad to only notice now.

I don't even have to cock my head to the side to see her arms folded and that haughty childish sulk on her face.
Such glower power.
Too bad I've bedded bigger bears.
And got them to put out after bigger sleights than this.

"She doesn't like girls, they muscle in on her territory-
me-
my bed-
sometimes they swat her-
and they don't play with her or feed her
so...
yeah, she has no reason to like you."

...
expulsion of absurdly insulted air in
3
2
-

"HAWMPF!"
stomp
stomp stomp
stomp
-
SLAM
-

She perks her head up to watch the escaping outsider, and plops her warm skull on my ankle.

I flop and scritch her ears, and go right back to what I was doing.
She's nuttier than squirrel shit if she thinks I'm comin in there to apologize for a dog I love more than her.
I'll give it three minutes before she calls her sister
and recants the highschool drama in great detail and squawking hyperbole.