Icarus's blog: "Hurts to watch."

Can't believe I have to go to work tomorrow
where does the time go
If I wasn't so busy wasting time I'd learn how to waste my time better.

I think this is why people like me have existential melts
too much focus on paying the bills, progressively losing sight of the dream
forgetting what the dream was to begin with.

but I'm too stuffed up and dry to wax poetic tonight.
I just want to state the facts, and maybe sidestep another catastrophy.

No, I didn't make it to the party, no I'm not sorry
finished ForAnswer, (apparently to get every mission done you have to play through 5 damn times) haven't worked on the Altruz drawing but I have noticed that my mechanical drawing is getting better- so is my perspective, and I'm definitely developing a perceptable mecha style.

I've been too busy to feel empty or even numb these days,
can't be love lorne when you no longer possess an external sex drive
go ahead- try your damndest to turn me on, I'll probably just think its a trick.

I dunno maybe I gave up- I say that, but she always gets me off guard when I do.

It needs to cool off so all the grass and bugs fuck off.
It needs to cool off so I can find more excuses to go home and visit my goddaughter.

Yeah... I guess I do kinda take that seriously, but I keep seeing myself as that bachelor mentor...
that borderline alchoholic genius that just never got lucky

I dunno, keep losing sight of what I need
because I stop needing it.
Just keep flipping switches
keeps me safe
keeps pain out
and no I'm not being an emo twat when I say that
I have chronic conditions- see the case notes.

If you just rot in the ground
then why bother missing someone
that's time ticking away to where you'll be in a box like them

Why do anything that isn't your favorite thing
with your favorite people
because doing it all the time makes you lose perspective on how enjoyable it is

Gotta suffer to celebrate.

Clear sky may heat is only great because you don't always get it
guess that's why I'm an october overcast kinda guy